New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 2 November 2020: OP, thanks for the update.
You do know staying friends might not be great for any future relationships, right?
Good luck... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 19 October 2020: OK, the updates makes it clear as mud, OP
BUT I'm going to guess? that what you are saying is that you HAVE told him that you don't WANT any more children and probably can't HAVE any, but to make 100% sure... you want to go on birth control?... (read in full...)
New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 19 October 2020: To anon female,
I don't think the majority here would tell a woman to "suck it up" if her Bf went to a strip club.
Most of us would tell her to DECIDE for herself if it is a deal breaker or not. If it is... then the BF should be out the door.... (read in full...)
This old friend of his is getting on my nerves! Should I just let him block her?
Q. Okay so I have been seeing my other half for around 6 months now. Everything is great between us however he has a female friend he has know for 20 years she is just a friend and married herself ect. However she is driving me mental now she mails or ...
A. 18 October 2020:
He is trying to be "transparent" with you about his friendship with her, which I think is good, but I think you ought to tell him that you DO NOT need or want to be updated on what she posts or says because 1. you trust him and 2. she is no one t... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 18 October 2020: I think it's only fair to tell him, look I know you want more kids, I can't give you any. I'm 49 and can not go through another pregnancy.
The likelihood of you conceiving "naturally" is VERY low at 49. But it is possible, however the chance o... (read in full...)
My ex won't stop posting about me and is obsessed
Q. First let me start by saying ive dealt with stalkers etc a fee times in my life. I had one that violently stalked me when i was 18 i had to get a restraining order against, he got wrapped up in other charges since and is now doing life for rape. ...
A. 18 October 2020: I understand you are hyper aware of the possibility that he COULD begin to stalk you. Because you have dealt with that in the past.
I don't want you to think my first answer was a dismissal of your fear and feelings.
You need to make sure you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is happy with sex every 3 months. I want more!
Q. Hello, in my early sixties, my girlfriend couple years younger, well it happened agin tonight, i wanted to make love, she just said go to sleep, only once in three months, she says i should be slowing down, been together three years, i still ...
A. 18 October 2020: Yep, I'm with CindyCares and CodeWarrior,
You two are not sexually compatible. She shouldn't HAVE to engage sexually IF she doesn't want to, she might have medical conditions that makes sex painful or just not pleasant - menopause can be horrible... (read in full...)
Dealing with my friend’s relationship drama is becoming draining
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I’m having an issue with one of my friends which is causing me quite a bit of stress that I’d like your advice on. I love her to bits but she’s always acted like a doormat. It’s almost like she takes pride in being that way, ...
A. 18 October 2020: I think at time people do some really DUMB shit and they KNOW that it is dumb, but it's what they "THINK" they really want, so reality is ignored.
I think SHE knows he isn't a good choice for a long term partner, SHE knows he isn't into her, she... (read in full...)
He has ptsd how can we make things work
Q. Hi. Me and a friend decided to have a relationship 3 years ago. its been a bit rocky from after 2 month of dating things were always on and off with him and after a couple of years he started opening up about his past things I didn't know of and ...
A. 17 October 2020: How is that you say "he still deserves a chance of happiness " but you don't mention that YOU ALSO deserves a chance of happiness? And from what you write you are NOT happy.
You already KNOW it didn't work out in the past, NOTHING has changed.... (read in full...)
New GF enjoys strip clubs and looking at other men whilst in a relationship
Q. My new gf of 6 months told me that her and her friends have been to a few male strip clubs and that she enjoys them and would continue to do so. She also said that she enjoys looking at other men and does it even more so when she's in a relation...
A. 17 October 2020: Maybe she isn't the right fit for you?
I personally could care less about ogling some semi nude sweaty men. I think strip-clubs are gross, they smell like piss and cheap beer, drinks are overpriced, and the "performers" don't REALLY want to be th... (read in full...)
Old friend has been talking behind my back and is ignoring me. I don't know why and it's making me feel sick with anxiety
Q. I recently met up with an old uni friend who I hadn't seen for over a year. He took a picture of us together and sent it to a group chat. It turns out that 3 out of a group of 4 of us from uni had set up a group but I hadn't been invited to it. He ...
A. 17 October 2020: Why not just leave him be?
It doesn't seem like he wants to be friend so why TRY so hard?
He sounds like a bit of a dick, not really someone you'd want in your life.
He might not like you, so what? Not everyone will. Just like not everyone w... (read in full...)
My ex won't stop posting about me and is obsessed
Q. First let me start by saying ive dealt with stalkers etc a fee times in my life. I had one that violently stalked me when i was 18 i had to get a restraining order against, he got wrapped up in other charges since and is now doing life for rape. ...
A. 17 October 2020: Maybe YOU and your friends need to IGNORE his stuff. He actually CAN post about his feelings all he wants. I don't think there is any laws about that.
If I were you I would contact Facebook (if that is where he posts) and see if they can remove t... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend ghosted me, had a fling and now has come back telling me he loves me. Should I believe him?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. Long story short. My boyfriend of 5 yrs left me back in July. We were having some problems at the time except we always used to work them out. But that day, he just gave up on me and ghosted me. I couldn't even get him to talk ...
A. 17 October 2020: Sorry, OP if I am going to be kind of blunt here but I think it's best to call it as I see it.
You write:" We loved each other and it seemed out of nowhere he just let me go."
No, honey. YOU loved him. He loved himself and CHEATED on you w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets tired when he gives me oral. How can I encourage him to keep going?
Q. So what am I to do when my boyfriend says his tongue is tired when he performs oral sex on me? It takes me awhile with him. I am not sure why. I can take care of myself much quicker. But with him it takes longer. That is normal, right? I use...
A. 17 October 2020: Be honest with him and tell him you have stopped faking.
IF he doesn't know you all of a sudden take longer, he might think there is something wrong.
And TBH, expecting him to keep going until you come every time is a little unrealistic, esp... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in a relationship where I would be the one serving and then die not knowing what it's like to be cared for... should I just break up with him?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I are both in our twenties and have been together for a while now. We both had a discussion last night about how our future. I live with a medical condition and so I want to live a good life because I don't know when I woul...
A. 15 October 2020: I don't know how long "a while is" so it's a little hard to give advice.
But I would say this, if you are looking for a care-taker this Bf of yours might not be up for it, yet. He is still growing up (so are you).
No one knows when they will p... (read in full...)
I need to know if people are capable of change when it comes to cheating?
Q. I need to know if people are capable of change when it comes to cheating? I broke up with my partner of 10 years and father to my child 18 months ago. We had a good relationship. There were a couple of niggles - he was slightly stricter bringi...
A. 15 October 2020: Yes, people are capable of change. But it's rare that they actually change. Mostly, they will make a lot of empty promises that they KNOW the other person wants to hear, they will moderate their behavior.
I think you will not be able to trust hi... (read in full...)
I feel numb and can't get into relationships until they have ended. Am I depressed?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles I’m in a rut in my life and need some help. Bit of a backstory I grew up as a child and in my teens around abusive relationships. My mom and dad divorced when I was young and my dad use to beat my mom. My mom then...
A. 15 October 2020: I think you have walls a mile high and a mile thick and you feel "safe" within them, thus never really let people in.
From what you grew up with I don't find that so strange. I think it's a sounds survival strategy. But long term or if you real... (read in full...)
What is the best way to quit a job? What should I say and what should I not say? What is the best professional way to quit a job?
Q. I am single with no kids of my own but I am very close to my nieces and nephew. At my present job, where I worked at for 15 years, they make me work over the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, est.) even through I request to hav...
A. 14 October 2020: 2 weeks before you want your last day to be, you hand in your resignation.
Just google a standard resignation letter and use that as a template.
If you have a boss give him a copy and one to HR.
If they ask why, tell them you have found a jo... (read in full...)
I went to a stripclub my girlfriend broke up with me because of it
Q. I need advice. My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me after she found out me and my guy friends went to a stripclub and got lap dances. I mentioned to her that they were pressuring me into going but told her that i did not really care to go. But ...
A. 13 October 2020: Dude you are old enough to NOT do things you don't WANT to do!
What is really childish... is GROWN MEN, even young ones like you thinking that having a total stranger grind on you
and grope you, at a strip club is no big deal.
Are you suc... (read in full...)
I’ve been talking too much about politics and now I’ve upset a friend! How to make this right?
Q. My best friend just started dating this guy and he seems to be actually a really nice person. Only unusual part is that he's a real live Republican (guns, God Bless the USA, etc) and we're all raving mad Democrats (including my best friend). All ...
A. 13 October 2020: If this is a true story, you need to GROW up, OP!
You are in your 30? You sound 10!
If you can't BEHAVE in a civilized manner, maybe you need to pull back a little from hanging out with your friend and her new beau. I'm actually surpris... (read in full...)
How do I accept that this and stop blaming myself?
Q. My on and off ex boyfriend of 10 years is engaged 6 months into his new relaionship. Aka 6 months after he ghosted me and dropped me like a hot potato. I am completely heartbroken and having such a hard time moving on from this. I am doing all the ...
A. 13 October 2020: I love that sock analogy.
The reason he finally dumped you and jumped straight into getting engaged 6 months after you two broke up was because what you had for 10 years WAS NOT what he really wanted.
He might even have known HER longer than ... (read in full...)
Should I buy a condo with my partner?
Q. Hello, I have a question about cohabiting. If I purchase a condo under my name and decide that my boyfriend would live with me later on, would it be wiser to just have him sign with me as opposed to just myself? I am planning to propose to him next ...
A. 13 October 2020: Amen to Code Warrior's post.
Don not BUY it together. If you LATER marry, you can decide to add his name to the deed and he will thus be responsible and also part owner.
Living together? Well, I think that can work out. Just don't put his na... (read in full...)
Am I dumb for thinking she keeps my stuff private?
Q. Hi, Got a concern with my girlfriend - I am a private person by nature and my concern is this. My girlfriend sent me a screenshot of her girls chat. Her friend is talking to someone and slept with him. The chat was them saying how he stayed th...
A. 13 October 2020: I don't quite agree with Code Warrior on who talks about intimate details and who don't.
From my own experience I have NEVER given details about my partner that I didn't think HE would want discussed. I'd say sex life is great but not go into spe... (read in full...)
I slept with my best friend and regret it!
Q. Three nights ago I slept with my best friend - male. We had arranged to meet up, go for food and drink and he would stay at mine. We had a really good night as we always do but we both got drunk and he started telling me He fancied me and how much ...
A. 13 October 2020: I think you have to accept that YOU did make a mistake and that HE isn't as much in "fancy" with you as he claimed, to me it sounds like he likes you and when the opportunity arose he had sex with you.
But he isn't TRYING to make this more tha... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it.
Q. I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it. We are currently living separately, although we lived together for three years while in college. For the past year, she's been with her family while I am studying for a ...
A. 10 October 2020: Definitely sounds like OCD.
(not that we can diagnose her)
Best advice I can give her is to TALK to a therapist who specialize in OCD and Cognitive behavioral therapy - she might not want to and that is HER choice, but if she wants to work on... (read in full...)
How do you interact with people who put you off make excuses and only want to spend time with you if all their other options fall through?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I work full time self employed. I can easily arrange a social life and time for other things whenever I want if I think it is worth it and I have enough notice. Because I work by appointment with people I need notice and to put ...
A. 10 October 2020: Keep social interaction with people who are more like yourself. People who work and can understand what "planning" for a meet up means.
Which makes sense.
Don't give out your address to someone you just meet. Meet for coffee, lunch, whatnot o... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it.
Q. I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it. We are currently living separately, although we lived together for three years while in college. For the past year, she's been with her family while I am studying for a ...
A. 9 October 2020: It's definitely an eating disorder, the OCD is just the way she controls it. Been there done that, myself.
There is something else going on in her life that she CAN NOT control. Which is why someone who was slender/skinny to begin with goes ove... (read in full...)
Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?
Q. Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?...
A. 9 October 2020: Who's photos are you wanting to share?
And IF they are your own and his/hers... do you think it's really something that goes with a NON romantic and NON sexual relationship? Such as a friendship?
If the yare of you, are they picture you boss... (read in full...)
We had an intimate encounter and now he says I took advantage of him
Q. I have this guy I have been dating. I am a 33 year old bisexual male. He is 22. I know he loves women and has several girlfriends. We live together and we are usually very close. We have kissed severally, even though he said he isnt into men and ...
A. 9 October 2020: Whether he wants to acknowledge that he has sexual desires that involve men, is kind of irrelevant because he doesn't WANT them. He doesn't WANT to admit them.
He is 22 and you are 11 years older, so the "adult" in this here scenario.
If he E... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy with where we live. Should we wait it out or move?
Q. my husband and I live on a road that you have to drive up a steep hill to get to. we have been here 16 months. we both don't like the hill but have put up with it because when we were looking to move this was the only nicest house we came across ...
A. 8 October 2020: I certainly wouldn't move until you have found a place that 1. you can afford, 2. in the area you want to be and 3. have the amenities or situation you want.
At least you are only renting, so that makes it easier to move. But that can also lim... (read in full...)
What does it mean to reparent yourself?
Q. What to people mean by reparenting and how do you go about doing that? I am a 24 year old female still living in my parents home. Growing up, my father was an alcoholic and verbally abused me and my mother. My mother was also belittling me. There ...
A. 7 October 2020: I think the best thing is for you to find a new counselor and talk this through with her/him. They will have the education and skills to figure out of that can be helpful to you.
The "inner child" is the part of us who has unresolved issues. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks its ok to see male friends/exs one on one. I'm not comfortable with this
Q. Hi, I been with my girlfriend for six months, everything is going so well, I'm involved with her family, we never fight and we are in committed relationship, I love her. Some problems have recently surfaced, she feels it is ok to hang out with ...
A. 7 October 2020: I find it a bit cheeky that she says OH you can hang out with ANY females exes, it's totally fine... EXCEPT that one you dated a long time....
She only suggested YOU do the same because she KNOWS full well you weren't GOING to hang out with the... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is ill with the virus and I haven't heard from him. Should I be worried?
Q. My boyfriend has covid and is quarantined alone, at first he was asymptomatic but symptoms started to come and hes been feeling really bad. I know hes been sleeping most the day but wevejust been FaceTiming at night. Tuesday we got in a small ...
A. 6 October 2020: Sounds like he is using being sick to avoiding you and perhaps get a little peace and quiet.
He might FEEL you are too clingy and demanding and he just doesn't have the energy or perhaps inclination to feed your anxiety.
His mom said he was ... (read in full...)
I thought my fake boobs would be perfect but men are completely turned off by them!
Q. When i was in my 20s i worked in a couple strip clubs where there was quite a bit of chicks with boob jobs. It was something i always thought looked really good and being a small b i was a good candidate for the surgery though my natural small boobs ...
A. 5 October 2020: Chin up, OP
Also, when you look for a life partner find someone who can love ALL of you. Even if he prefers butts over boobs, he shouldn't BE with you if implants are so "bad" in his eyes.
Remember that first year when you had a LOT of confide... (read in full...)
My friend says he is straight but he has done things with me that lead me to believe otherwise
Q. I have a male friend who claims he is straight but one night we was joking around then he let me pull his pants down just for a joke then one thing led to another he let me play with his dick and feel his bum he was naked I was fully dress he as a ...
A. 5 October 2020: He is probably bi-curious, at the very least.
But why are you "playing" around with a guy who has a GF/partner?
... (read in full...)
My ex dropped out of my life for 2 years with no explanation and now he's back
Q. Hello and thanks in advance to all who take the time to reply. Two years ago my partner( not married) kind of disappeared on me. I contacted him a few times seeking explanation and closure but no response. I had my pride and stopped.As you c...
A. 5 October 2020: He did this after an 8 year relationship?!
That makes it even worse...
Was or is he married by any chance? Because then it might make a TAD more sense to just "ghost" you and show up out of the blue. (NOT that it makes it OK, just more "ratio... (read in full...)
What would you do if a video game or game on their phone came ahead of you in their lives?!?!?
Q. Well tomorrow is me and my guys 8 year dating anniversary. And I won’t lie, most of the relationship has been a very bumpy road. After he proposed to me is when he chose to go behind my back and start talking to other women and even sneaking out ...
A. 4 October 2020: What do you even get out of this relationship?
He cheated on you with his ex. You caught him, YET you still took him back?
And after he got caught he started being a total dick, plus he drinks? And his phone game is more important that y... (read in full...)
Online friend has a crush on me but she just went through a break up
Q. So as of recently, a very close friend of mine ive known online brought me intobhis group of friends he has know for a while. Amongst those friends were a couple that were online dating for about 6 months prior to me meeting them. Ill name of them ...
A. 4 October 2020: I would NOT get involved with this girl in any kind of relationship, stick to being her friend.
She has some pretty weak boundaries for how she lets other people treat her especially this "Richard". My guess would be that the minute he gets bor... (read in full...)
Slept with a distant friend when on a ' break '
Q. please dont judge we all have slip ups when we feel down. i split from my boyfriend 6 week ago then last week i got some attention from a distant friend we were drinking and 1 thing led to another. we dont think he 'fired ' his goods i have a child ...
A. 4 October 2020: Amen to Code Warrior.
Don't make excuses, OWN your actions.
You WERE single when you had sex with this person. So you didn't cheat. You made a bad CHOICE, having unprotected sex with someone.
Take the pregnancy test as soon as you can. And ... (read in full...)
My friend is a user. She asks me to do things that she won't do
Q. I have a friend who's asking me to do stuff she herself doesn't want to do. At first I didn't realize what was going on, because she found ways to present things in another light. Instead of saying to others (I am not the only one) the truth,...
A. 4 October 2020: I'm with the just tell her: " no, I can't do that, it's illegal over here."
Don't become a liar like her.
Sending her the links is another good way to show that you can FIND a book but you will not download.
BUT the best thing is to SET up ... (read in full...)
My ex dropped out of my life for 2 years with no explanation and now he's back
Q. Hello and thanks in advance to all who take the time to reply. Two years ago my partner( not married) kind of disappeared on me. I contacted him a few times seeking explanation and closure but no response. I had my pride and stopped.As you c...
A. 4 October 2020: I'm with CindyCares (as usual) I'd tell him, no thanks. NOTHING more - YOU do not OWE him and explanation as to WHY you want nothing to do with him anymore.
Give yourself closure OP. He can't really do that. Even if he tells you why he disappea... (read in full...)
I don’t think my boyfriend needs me and I feel lonely in my relationship. Is he with me for the sake of it?
Q. I keep pushing my boyfriend away and it’s because I know he doesn’t need me. Is he just with me for the sake of it? We’ve been going out for about 15 months now..he’s 6 years older than me and the first year or so was amazing...we wer...
A. 4 October 2020: You moved in too soon.
Secondly, YOU are creating the distance not him, YOU presume that he doesn't need you. So to avoid him rejecting YOU, you "reject" and push him away first.
He shouldn't HAVE to tell or ASK or BEG you twice to come ha... (read in full...)
How can I approach her about sex without putting her under pressure?
Q. Hello I've been dating a girl casually for nearly a year now. During that time we have been on about 10-12 dates. Obviously Covid meant we weren't able to see each other for a few months and before that I lived in a different city which is wh...
A. 3 October 2020: Why can't she stay over at yours? Is she under 18? If so, then you got to wait. Is it a dump? Dirty? If so, do some deep cleaning and invite her over.
CLEAN place and DEFINITELY fresh sheets is a must for an overnight, OK? Same with Condoms.... (read in full...)
I thought my fake boobs would be perfect but men are completely turned off by them!
Q. When i was in my 20s i worked in a couple strip clubs where there was quite a bit of chicks with boob jobs. It was something i always thought looked really good and being a small b i was a good candidate for the surgery though my natural small boobs ...
A. 3 October 2020: I think YOU are the one making a big deal out of your implants.
He might have said he was a boob guy but realizes he is a butt guy. However, YOU like them engaged during sex and he apparently doesn't enjoy that part. Maybe it's not because ... (read in full...)
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