My ex blew me off, but he won't stop contacting me
Q. My ex and met on Face book 10 years ago and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We ...
A. 3 February 2021: If Facebook is part of your "business" have someone (or do it yourself) BLOCK this guy at every turn - it might take some extra WORK on your side, but if you KEEP entertaining him by answering him and playing HIS game, the LONGER it will take for ... (read in full...)
My ex blew me off, but he won't stop contacting me
Q. My ex and met on Face book 10 years ago and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We ...
A. 2 February 2021: If you are 18-21 and you met 10 years ago, maybe it didn't work out then because of age?
I mean I don't think that many 8-11 year old can HAVE a relationship as it is, not can they drive 5 hours regardless.
So either you put your age wrong o... (read in full...)
Can a physical attraction develop over time?
Q. I've been single for a long time and spent A LOT of this time dating (as in a different date every weekend). I think it's because I'm waiting for sparks and fireworks and butterflies right away, which my friends say is unrealistic. I have dated a ...
A. 1 February 2021: No, don't offer friendship if you don't think he can be a long term partner, that is insulting. (to him)
He isn't going on these dates with you to "settle" for some " Let's just be friends crumbs".
If you can't see yourself with him in ALL ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl, but I've already slept with her mum
Q. HELP. I've recently started dating this girl virtually. Obviously we can't see each other in person because of the COVID rules but we'd been chatting on Tinder for ages and never got the chance to properly meet up so decided to have virtual dates on ...
A. 1 February 2021: Yikes.
That is really all I have to say.
I DO think you have to spill the beans to her. If she is OK with it, then by all means try dating her. But I think this is something that will ALWAYS be a negative.
There is just no way MOST young w... (read in full...)
LDR wants someone local
Q. The past few years after stepping away from DC. I started finally getting over my ex...and started dating again. I met this amazing 22 year old girl last April, and even though its different country long distance she agreed to start seeing eac...
A. 1 February 2021: Live and learn, Sam
This is really WHY it's good to meet in person and spend time with people because you get to see another side of them, a side that is easier to hide over tech.
You say when you first started talking you just wanted to help h... (read in full...)
My 14 year old son's friend is gay. Is it ok to allow them to sleep in the same room?
Q. My son, Justin, and his friend, Chris, are 14 years old. Chris has let his parents, Justin, my husband and myself that he is gay (I don't know if anyone else knows). Justin doesn't care about Chris being gay, as long as they can continue being f...
A. 31 January 2021: I think there is a HUGE difference for a boy/girl sleep over and a boy/boy - girl /girl regardless of orientation.
My middle daughter had a friend since Middle-school who came out as trans freshman year. They still had sleepovers, even though t... (read in full...)
I cried during a film and he handed me a box of Kleenex
Q. Hi. Would this bother you? My boyfriend and I were watching a movie a few days ago. I cried during one scene as it reflected a situation I had gone through in my real life. All my boyfriend did was hand me a box of kleenex. He didn't say anything, ...
A. 31 January 2021: He didn't know what to do, so he went to a kind default - handing you a box of Kleenex.
Had he been cold and unfeeling he would have watched you cry and wipe your nose on your sleeve....
I don't know what to do around people who cry. Except ... (read in full...)
LDR wants someone local
Q. The past few years after stepping away from DC. I started finally getting over my ex...and started dating again. I met this amazing 22 year old girl last April, and even though its different country long distance she agreed to start seeing eac...
A. 31 January 2021: Ah Sam,
You don't do thing in half measures, do you?
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, YOU were her rebound. The one that showed her that there ARE decent men out there, and you are also the guy who saw her at her lowest.
Both means that... (read in full...)
Any advice for dealing with an unpleasant coworker?
Q. There is a person who I work with ,who is a very funny comical witty character but hes can be very unpleasant. all staff say the same that it's just the way he is ,dont take it personally ,that it's just his humour and that hes like that with ...
A. 30 January 2021: Yes, I think a lot of us has met asshats like the guy you describe. We also call them "bullies".
You say he doesn't have conversation with you, yet you mention he "says uncomplimentary things and swears at me ."
Do you HAVE to deal with him to... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend wants me to become his 2nd wife
Q. Hi, Aunts! I apologise in the first place that this isn’t going to be a short or “ethical” post (in the opinion of the most). I met my bf 3 years ago at work and he was my boss. We were very good friends and had gotten married recently back th...
A. 30 January 2021: I'll try to be kind.
You made this mess happen when you ACCEPTED to have an affair with a married man. So take responsibility here.
He didn't walk around without pants on and fell on his wife so she got knocked up, you know. They had sex.
... (read in full...)
His cooking style annoys me
Q. When my boyfriend cooks, he never follows a recipe. He will add random ingredients (ones that in my view really don’t work with the recipe) or add the wrong quantities. Doesn’t matter if he’s cooking sweet or savoury, it’s always the same. The ...
A. 30 January 2021: Take a cooking class WITH him.
That way you can BOTH learn to be better cooks.
OR if you can afford it, try those meal kits. They come with everything you need (including directions) maybe he won't mess those up?
How to avoid drama in the ki... (read in full...)
My ex is angry that I told him I was never in love with him
Q. My ex boyfriend left me for someone else in 2017, the girl rejected him and he tried to go back to me. In that same year someone close to me died. He still left. He later proposed I told him had he worked out with the other girl he wouldn’t be ...
A. 30 January 2021: Does it matter?
In the big picture, no.
I think you realized (perhaps) after the fact that you didn't REALLY lobe him, but I think you told him that to hurt him for how he hurt you in the past, even if you claim that it wasn't tit for tat. Bec... (read in full...)
What kind of strategy can I use in dealing with my sister who drinks too much?
Q. I moved in with my sister about a year ago. (After she broke up with her boyfriend and needed help paying the rent.) For about 8 months she was drinking excessively (4-8 bottles of wine a week). Her behaviour was non-violent (and generally not ag...
A. 30 January 2021: She obviously has a problem.
In general (or at least back in the day) the gauge of "problem with alcohol" versus "not a problem" was OVER 14 drinks a week for men and 7 for women. So more than 1 drink a day. Your sister drinks 4-8 BOTTLES ... (read in full...)
My 14 year old son's friend is gay. Is it ok to allow them to sleep in the same room?
Q. My son, Justin, and his friend, Chris, are 14 years old. Chris has let his parents, Justin, my husband and myself that he is gay (I don't know if anyone else knows). Justin doesn't care about Chris being gay, as long as they can continue being f...
A. 30 January 2021: Chris isn't going to "make" your son gay by sleeping in the same room. Being gay isn't contagious.
Seems like your son really doesn't care about his friend's sexual orientation. What he cares about is the PERSON and FRIEND Chris is to him.
... (read in full...)
How to attend job interview without boss knowing
Q. Hi friends. I have posted here before and I find users here very kind and honest with answers. I want to ask advise about going for job interview. My company has very strict policy. I must apply for leave 4 weeks in advance. Office hours no...
A. 22 January 2021: Do you not have vacation days?
If you do, take a day or two off - and set up interviews for those days.
Trying to fake illness is rarely a great idea. It's how people get fired.
... (read in full...)
Do his comments suggest he’s not into me
Q. So the guy I like constantly makes comments to me about not liking breasts. He says that he doesn’t like big breasts and ‘more than a handful is a waste’. This is clearly targeted at me because I have really big breasts, is this simply his way of t...
A. 22 January 2021: I have to agree he sounds like an idiot.
So if he doesn't like big boobs why does he feel a need to let YOU know that? Especially when it's OBVIOUS that you do have bigger boobs?
To me it almost sounds like one of those "pick up artists" play... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on my chiropractor and want to know more about him
Q. Dear Cupid. I see a chiropractor once or twice a month. Last year I was going but stopped because I fancied my chiropractor, eventually I started back up this year and I still fancy him. He seems like a really nice guy and my type, very chill...
A. 22 January 2021: This sounds like a really bad idea, OP
He is your chiropractor, nothing more. He is going his job. Being nice, talking to you while working is common, though not all in the medical field has good "bed side" manners.
Let's say he is married. H... (read in full...)
Why did a married man with a child on the way date me? I had no idea he wasn't single
Q. I just want to make sure I'm not crazy. I dated this guy for about a year and we really hit it off. We split and remained in touch. I will admit I still liked him. I moved away and came back in town he told me he had a girlfriend so I backed off. ...
A. 22 January 2021: Why didn't he tell you?
Because you were something on the side. He was the one seeing YOU for "kicks".
Learn from this. Next time, before you get too involved - get to KNOW the guy, check him out on social media (that really seems to be a go... (read in full...)
Ex got upset and called me insensitive. Do I owe him more?
Q. My ex had been dealing with a lot after our breakup and after a week of not talking he reached out asking to get dinner because he needed some company after a tough week (death of his family member). I said I couldn’t but that I’m sorry he’s dealing ...
A. 22 January 2021: No you don't OWE him a dinner and lending an ear, you are no longer together.
BLOCK him, unfriend him - whatever it takes to REMOVE him from your social media and remove yourself from him.
You can DO whatever you want in your life, you do NOT... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not feel too much excitement?
Q. Is it normal to not feel too much excitement? I used to feel depressed at home, so I managed to find a good career job. I work 8am-5pm. And I often found wasting my evenings doing nothing so I took on another job. So now I work from 8-5, 6-11. And ...
A. 21 January 2021: I agree, most people live boring lives (regardless of what you see on social media).
YOU have to figure out what DOES get YOU exited. And having a hobby or two, making friends, socializing (even if that is limited in these times of the Plague) ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is "mommy is the boss" and I want to change it to "We are the bosses"
Q. I met my partner about 3 years ago, she has children from a past relationship (8 year old boy and 11 year old girl). We are expecting a baby in the next 2 months. The children are constantly speaking to my partner about what they are going to do/ ...
A. 20 January 2021: I think mommy has been "boss" for s long that she isn't sure how to "share" the reins.
Yes, you need to talk to her.
And you need to stop being so passive around "her" kids.
If you let "her" kids boss you around with a mere cat... how do yo... (read in full...)
Why would my friend acknowledge everyone's birthday except mine?
Q. Hi, I've know this guy for over two years. In past we had some kind of a relationship, then he went abroad so it ended. We're still in contact though and last months he texts me almost every single day, we have long conversations, we laugh..I...
A. 18 January 2021: There can be many reasons it happened. We don't have a magic crystal ball that tells us WHAT went on in his head.
If he didn't remember it last year maybe it's not so strange that he didn't this year either.
My thing is this, your birthday is... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about him but he has a baby on the way and I think our friendship is over
Q. There's this guy I used to see ages ago and it just didn't work out romantically but we decided to he friend. However, he's got with a new girl and I've found myself being pushed away and he says he can't talk to me anymore because there's mistrust ...
A. 18 January 2021: You got to let him go.
You might WANT to try and stay friends but HIS priority is making sure his partner feels secure and being friends with YOU makes that harder, so it's EASIER for him to DROP you than having to convince HER that your friendsh... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is lying to me about something so inconsequential but because she's lying I want to end things
Q. Hi, This feels so stupid but please read the whole thing. I dislike social media and it annoys me that its done this however it has caused an issue for my relationship. Through out the relationship my girlfriend of 7 months has mentioned the na...
A. 18 January 2021: So often do I see the "rules for me and other rules for thee" attitude. It's not even a "generational issue" I see it with people of all ages.
I think she didn't lie on purpose at first. I think she might not even have considered that SHE herself ... (read in full...)
How do I respond without putting him off? I'm not sure if he just wants a casual relationship
Q. I met a guy at work around a year ago for a few weeks - we saw each other around a few times. Nothing more too it. He added me on Facebook the other week and we have really hit it off , chatting non stop, very interested in my life etc ,obviou...
A. 18 January 2021: Let's say ALL he wants is casual. You don't. So while you might get on like a house on fire, there isn't really a future here.
So BE honest. Stand your ground, you can do that without being hostile, you know? Just say I enjoy your company and woul... (read in full...)
Wife keeps talking to ex-bf even though she knows it upsets me
Q. A few years ago my wife reconnected with an old boyfriend via Facebook. She did not tell me about it, but I found out indirectly. He is married with two kids and he wanted to meet her for dinner while he was on a business trip to LA without ...
A. 18 January 2021: Instead of involving HIS wife, make a choice for YOURSELF.
The choice is, IS my wife's actions (with regards to this man) a deal breaker or not?
If it IS, then end the marriage, walk away. People (for the most part) will treat you how YOU allo... (read in full...)
My parents are not accepting that we are moving across the country. I feel badly for hurting them
Q. Hey aunts and uncles this is my previous post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-family-is-mean-behind-my-back-but.html#provide_answer Update we finally have enough money to move out and will be moving to where my husband grew up which is acro...
A. 15 January 2021: Tell them it will be BEST for every one that you move out. That you won't love them any less, no matter where you live.
Tell them it's time to be on your own with you husband.
And no, you might be the "baby" of the family but that doesn't mea... (read in full...)
My boss told me that several co-workers have complained that I smell. I'm clean! How do I take care of this?
Q. Not a relationship question...but this place has never failed me when I need help, so here we go. About a month ago, I started a new job. Yesterday, my boss called me into her office and informed me that she has received complaints from ...
A. 15 January 2021: I don't think YOU stink, OP
But go see your doctor. It can't hurt. Also ASK your husband to be honest with you.
So here for the many questions.
Do you bring food to work perhaps? That is stored near you?
Do you smoke? Live with a smo... (read in full...)
My husband's anger and ranting has become unbearable
Q. Things haven't been going well with my husband these past few months; lockdown's been very stressful. He's been ranting about everything. Getting up in the morning? He's ranting. Having breakfast? It turns into a rant about the cereal indus...
A. 15 January 2021: Yikes Paula!
So this behavior is VERY new?
Is HE working? Does he have any friends?
Does he have period of calm and decent behavior or is this non-stop?
Is it possible to visit family? For you and kiddo?
How ARE your finances? Do you k... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he didn't like our fighting and needed to think about it. What does that mean?
Q. My bf and I have had an amazing relationship the past year. Everything is great besides our arguments here and there. We had our first big fight the other night leading to me leaving his place to go home and cool off. The next few days without me ...
A. 15 January 2021: I think he is re-thinking whether or not you to CAN work out long term.
But I think you two look at it from different view points, HE mentions the "bickering" and "old habits" which makes it sounds like this isn't a once in a blue moon disagree... (read in full...)
My long distance husband keeps asking for money
Q. My husband and I have been together 4 years. For the most part it's pretty good except for money. He relies on me too much to take care of things financially. I should mention hes been back and forth we don't live together as a married couple ...
A. 14 January 2021: Also, out of TOTAL curiosity, What country is he from and how did you meet?
... (read in full...)
Should I keep their affair a secret?
Q. My ex-wife had an affair with one of our best friends. It was very physical, and they exchanged a lot of sex talk and intimate photographs of each other which i still have. When i discovered the affair i copied as much as i could as it went alo...
A. 14 January 2021: I guess that it's a sucky secret to keep, but I think you are a day late and a dollar short in exposing them. You should had done it when you filed for divorce.
You want to expose them out of anger towards them, NOT for your ex-friend's wife's s... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have experience with anyone with narcissistic rage?
Q. Thank you for any help offered. People are busy so it is appreciated. I have a friend who I have been or now had been friends with for several years. She has been through a bad time of late having lost custody of her daughter due to mental h...
A. 14 January 2021: Well, she made false accusations that was easy to dismiss. Saying you were running around town when you were definitely teaching was a BAD move on her part.
But it makes life easier for you. It shouldn't be hard for the school board to dismiss ... (read in full...)
My long distance husband keeps asking for money
Q. My husband and I have been together 4 years. For the most part it's pretty good except for money. He relies on me too much to take care of things financially. I should mention hes been back and forth we don't live together as a married couple ...
A. 13 January 2021: So OP,
When he comes to America do you intend on paying for everything? Because it seems like HE thinks that is your responsibility even though he has an income. Does he have education that makes him getting a job easy?
HOW interested is he... (read in full...)
I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 13 January 2021: Maybe it's for the best, OP
It might not FEEL great for you, but maybe it's time for you to realize that you DESERVE more from a partner than getting "leftovers"?
My guess is he will come back and give you the "I really love you" song and da... (read in full...)
Male compliments female co-worker. Does he feel he can trust her not to take it out of context?
Q. Okay, speaking hypothetically here. You have a male and female who are coworkers. They are friendly but not friends. They don’t hang out outside of work, but they are the ones who turn to each other with work problems and sometimes personal issues. ...
A. 13 January 2021: A compliment to how a person dress? That is not super personal. It's a compliment. Nice shoes, nice tie. Nice handbag. Oh my!
If it had been about her body - like, "I like how those leggings show off your ... legs - or ass or whatnot" - I would fi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's strange actions have made me totally lose interest in him
Q. Okay.... I started dating this guy for a year. He lives at home with his Parents he’s 30 he has a son and he’s going through a divorce. This weekend I went to his house. I saw a lot that I didn’t see before. His mom babies him and he just h...
A. 13 January 2021: Yeah, someone (him) is not really a grown man - sounds like a man-child with a child.
Makes you wonder why (not really) his wife left him.
Here is the thing, you saw more of him than you had before, and what you saw, was.. well not very attract... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have experience with anyone with narcissistic rage?
Q. Thank you for any help offered. People are busy so it is appreciated. I have a friend who I have been or now had been friends with for several years. She has been through a bad time of late having lost custody of her daughter due to mental h...
A. 13 January 2021: Check with your phone company, you might be able to retrieve deleted texts from the cloud.
Secondly?
In the future don't delete texts, JUST block her.
Should you nip it in the bud and talk to your teacher's union? Over some texts between ... (read in full...)
Why does my wife close her eyes during anal sex?
Q. I have noticed that my wife closes her eyes during anal sex. They are open during vaginal sex. I don't think it's because she hates anal because she agrees to it, and often has an orgasm a few minutes after anal, when we have switched to something ...
A. 12 January 2021: Yep ask her.
I have no idea. Maybe she doesn't either. It might just be something she does without thinking about it.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has too much time on her hands and its driving me crazy
Q. Hi there I wrote before about my girlfriend always wanting to talk on the phone and text. I had a discussion with her and she said she would try not to be so clingy. Unfortunately that didn't go far. Today she said I don't message much a...
A. 12 January 2021: You definitely did the right thing.
Next she will check how many minutes YOUR calls were versus those she initiated. How many texts you sent... blah blah blah.
Are you dating a teenager?
While I think it's GOOD to bring up things in a rel... (read in full...)
My boyfriend rarely will perform oral sex and when he does he's terrible at it
Q. Hey everyone! Can we talk oral for a hot minute? I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, we’re very much in love and have a very healthy sex life. However I can count the times he’s gone down on me on my hands, and each time is because ...
A. 11 January 2021: Have you asked him?
Maybe he really isn't a fan of "giving" oral. Some like to give and receive. Some like to just give, some to just receive.
I think people who don't REALLY enjoy it often do a bad job at it, so they can move on to doing wha... (read in full...)
I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 11 January 2021: Thank you for the update, OP
He never REALLY did "work" on his marriage with her if he kept in contact with you all along and only went NO contact for about a month. I mean, how can he claim to want to work things out with HER if he still kept you... (read in full...)
I feel like the man who left his wife for me is regretting it. Can anyone tell me what to do?
Q. My married boyfriend left his wife for me. We were having an affair for 8 years prior. He moved in with me in November. But instead of feeling happy about this new beginning like I am, he acts hot and cold. One day he is loving and attentive and the ...
A. 9 January 2021: I think reality struck for him.
He thought he was getting the greener grass, but in reality he wasn't.
There is a reason most relationships that started as an affair don't work out. They are built on a shitty foundation. A foundation of li... (read in full...)
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