I'm 44 he's 25. He wants to meet in real life. Thoughts??
Q. I'm 44 and he's 25.....we met on fb this past summer after he sent me a request:) My initial impression of him was that he was a good looking guy but a bit insecure and perhaps a bit full of himself( bc of al the selfies and muscle pics on h...
A. 12 March 2021: Fully agree with Code Warrior.
His MOMMY contacted you and chastised you. Seriously? And when you told him that you are rethinking this "thing" he got mad and blamed everything on you. THAT should tell you just how "mature" he is. Or rather i... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but can't help being intrigued by a Secret Admirer
Q. Cupids I need help! OK so about a month ago I got a random email from a man who claimed to have known me in the past, telling me that he 'had to get off his chest' that he really fancied me and was crazy about me and that even YEARS later sinc...
A. 23 November 2020: I can see how this is a NICE stroke to your ego, but this really isn't about you, it's about the sender.
WHAT was the point in telling you all this? "to get it off HIS chest" supposedly. Because what? Because it would make HIM feel better. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend furious with me that I don't trust him that nothing is going on with him and a lady who wants him to do work for her
Q. Boyfriend of 10 yrs standing is extremely furious with me because a woman nearby he does work for is always ringing and texting with all sorts of jobs for him. He absolutely assures me nothing is going on and the extra money is welcome. The last ...
A. 22 November 2020: Do you trust him?
If not... why are you with him?
Has he given you reason to not trust him?
If not... why do you think you need to SUPERVISE him while working for someone?
He is trying to make extra money, you act like UNLESS you are ther... (read in full...)
My husband's baby mama drama is driving everyone crazy
Q. Im married to a man ive never met the 2 children of. Ones 3 and the other is 11, both boys. I also have an 11 year old, a daughter. His baby mom, who has been seeing her boyfriend since about a year before i met my now husband we'll call T, hates ...
A. 22 November 2020: I think you need to consider how this affects YOUR daughter MORE than anything else.
Your husband is acting like a limp spineless eel. Sorry, but that is how it seems.
I get that taking her to court can be expensive, so that might be why he ... (read in full...)
I want to end it for good but how do you pull away from another person who your so physically drawn to?
Q. 25 years ago i met my hb, he was 10 years older than me and always seemed so grown up and sensible and i needed that in my life, i’ll never regret marrying him , about 5 years ago we had a “showdown” talk about our marriage it had kind of gotten in ...
A. 22 November 2020: Maybe you both TELLING your spouses what you did will be the "ultimate" nail in the coffin of this "affair"?
I mean taking ACTUALY responsibility for it? Owning it?
Yes, it will DEVASTATE your spouse and his to know this, but you already deci... (read in full...)
I have always been Heterosexual, but last couple of years I have been sort of bi curious, Is this normal as we get older?
Q. I have always been heterosexual but for the last couple of years I am somewhat bi curious, never been with a man, I have been in several 3somes, ffm, and mmf. But never even thought about it. Is this somewhat normal as we get older?...
A. 22 November 2020: I don't think here is one "normal" setting for people's sexuality or curiosity.
Some will tell you that sexuality is fluid. Well, maybe for SOME it is. For others it's not.
Personally, I don't find the idea of sex with a woman appealing, never... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is angry that he found a porn site I went to
Q. Ok , so yesterday my bf went through my history and found a porn site that I went on , he got so upset that hes making the biggest deal out of it . He says that it's a broken promise , because I promised I would never play with it again . Is that ...
A. 22 November 2020: Why do you think that saying "I will never do that again" doesn't MEAN : "I will never do that again" FOR you? That you can say that but not HAVE to keep your promise?
I have always tried to not make promises, I am not 100% sure I can't keep. Bu... (read in full...)
Married man says he isn't going anywhere. What does that mean?
Q. met him at work and we are both attracted to each othe r but he says he has been married for 7 years and have visited just twice,which my gut instinct tells me it a lie but respected that and decided wanted to move away from him but he says he isn't ...
A. 22 November 2020: We can't read his mind any better than you, OP
He is married and THAT is that. There is no future here with him. You know this. So what are you getting out of this? Really?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years will not marry again so I broke up with him
Q. Hi, I could do with some advice as I really have no idea on the best way forward. I was with my boyfriend for nearly four years, like a lot of couples we have had our ups and downs but I did always think we was on the same page in that we loved each ...
A. 22 November 2020: Ending it was the right thing, for both of you. Though HE should have ended it OR at least been honest with you (not just his male friends) that marriage would NEVER be on that table again.
Marriage isn't just a piece of paper. Granted many peo... (read in full...)
He’s done nothing wrong but I’m just not that into it. How can I break up in a good way?
Q. So I need some outsiders help. I’ve been seeing this guy for a while, we met online and couldn’t meet because of lockdown. We finally meet and things have been okay for the 3 months we’ve been physically seeing each other. But that’s just it, they...
A. 19 November 2020: Telling someone, "You are a really nice person, I just don't see this going anywhere" is not being a "huge Bitch or awful person" it's being honest.
The sooner you tell him, the sooner HE too can move on.
And don't OFFER to be "friends" after ... (read in full...)
I told her that we were done but she still kept texting me
Q. I was seeing this girl for a few weeks and decided she wasn’t for me so text her to say I wasn’t feeling it and could we leave it there She’s text me a few times since but I’ve not replied because As far as I’m concerned I finished it and that was ...
A. 19 November 2020: Just block her.
Be polite when you see her in person but don't get too "chatty" as she will see that as a "you are still interested".
Or if you can.. avoid her all together.
She might think you are blowing hot and cold. As in, you gave ca... (read in full...)
Am I reading something wrong here? Am I attracting hostilities ? Is there a missing piece ?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, want your insights on something weird that seems to have repeated itself twice. Let me describe the two instances below: Instance 1- 10 years ago. I was an intern at a firm. It was a assignment with a 5-6 member team that...
A. 19 November 2020: Are you attracting bullies?
I don't think so. I think you just happen to have worked in the same company as a few. As SAD as it is, bullies get ahead in many cooperate companies because they can seem far more driven and hardworking. Why? Because ... (read in full...)
Mortified after period sex 'accident'
Q. I had sex on my period the other day and leaked all over my boyfriend's lower regions and our bed. He insisted he wasn't bothered at all and told me not to worry about it but I can't help it. I can't even look him in the eyes without feeling ...
A. 19 November 2020: Eh, there isn't anything you can do to change what happened.
It's NOT uncommon for you to seemingly bleed MORE after an orgasm while on your period, after all, the muscles of the vagina and uterus produce powerful, rhythmic contractions. When org... (read in full...)
I’m so exhausted and I just don’t want to be intimate with him
Q. I’m sitting here at midnight writing this because I can’t sleep. My partner is acting so strange. I feel like it’s my fault... Our relationship used to be good, we used to be intimate, kiss, cuddle etc. Then we had a baby. My sex drive has never ...
A. 15 November 2020: I think he is compounding your insecurities and unhappiness with how you look, maybe not entirely on purpose maybe it's more of a "tactic" to get you on your toes and take better care of you AND the relationship, because there are OH SO MANY women ... (read in full...)
I'm the only woman on an overnight crew. I think one of the workers will lie to get me off of this shift
Q. I have a problem in work. I started working in a warehouse a few months ago and have been doing really well. After a week and a half my supervisor gave me the option to work nights for time and a half pay which is a privilege usually given to people ...
A. 14 November 2020: Stay away from this drama dude. Keep your head down and do your job the best of your ability. DO NOT get involved with gossip, hearsay or drama.
Because THAT will get you fired.
... (read in full...)
How can I get over missing out on teenage love? I'm 27 now
Q. I'm a 27 year old woman and it never really bothered me up until now to think that I never experienced teenage love. I have dated men in my college years, but seem to think what it would have been like to have that naive tender teen love. I wa...
A. 14 November 2020: I didn't start dating until 19, I simply wasn't ready, mature or even all that interested.
I don't feel I have "missed out on anything". While I wasn't a fan of my daughters dating in high-school (that is age 14-18) the two youngest both dated. T... (read in full...)
Can I help my grown sons fix their relationship?
Q. I have two sons. They have an older half sister from my husband's first marriage. About ten years ago, my youngest son, Kyle, married a black woman (we are white). My oldest son, Phil, did not like her and talked to Kyle about it which led to a m...
A. 14 November 2020: Suggest that Phil Write his brother and SIL a letter to apologize and perhaps for forgiveness and a second chance.
If Kyle IS NOT interested in reconciliation, that is HIS right and you need to but out.
Phil was TOTALLY in the wrong. He has to... (read in full...)
I'm in my mid 30's married and just not interested in sex anymore
Q. This may seem strange coming from a male but i just dont really care about sex anymore. Its not that i dont like it, but i just dont have a NEED for it like i used to when i was younger. Im in my mid 30's now and while thats not old i am feeling ...
A. 14 November 2020: I think you should go see your doctor. It's a BIT on the early side for a man to drop his libido. It can be low T but it can also be many other things, so get an appointment.
It is also common for women to get a increase in libido from 30'ish t... (read in full...)
I'm not very attracted to my wife anymore
Q. I'm not very attracted to my wife anymore. What should I do? I've sat and thought about it for a long time now and have realized it's not even physical attraction that is the problem, although it doesn't help. What I mean is we both have gotten ...
A. 13 November 2020: Amen to Code Warrior,
I can see why you lost your attraction, it doesn't take an Einstein to see that. HER behavior is VERY unappealing!
Yes, parents can get upset at a child, but HOW you handle this upset is WHAT you kid learn from in dealing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignored me when I was having a panic attack
Q. I just had an anxiety attack. I was trying to reach my boyfriend. He knew I was having this panic attack and ignored me. He read all my messages and was online and ignored me as I frantically typed message after message trying to reach him. I told ...
A. 13 November 2020: Seek help for your panic attacks, so in the future YOU are better able to handle them alone if need be. As your BF either can't or won't help you manage and handle them.
He is your partner not you therapist. Maybe he doesn't know what to do or he... (read in full...)
This has never happened to me before, Is my female boss being friendly or wanting something more from me ?
Q. I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her. I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female b...
A. 12 November 2020: Yep, totally inappropriate of her.
She is WAY to familiar and if I were you I'd nip this in the bud. By telling her (NOT in front of other coworkers) that it makes you uncomfortable with the handsy stuff.
If she gets mad or doesn't stop, th... (read in full...)
I have a update and would like the opinions of my favorite aunts and uncles here!
Q. I have been separated with my so called "husband" for a year now. We have a 2 year old son who is living with me in my parents house. I brought my son and left him last year after knewing he stole my money and jewellery for his gambling addiction. ...
A. 12 November 2020: Thanks for the update!
I think you are doing the right thing, you are putting your son first. And to do so you want to be independent. Which is also very good.
I think you are right that starting anything financially (or otherwise) with ... (read in full...)
I'm 44 he's 25. He wants to meet in real life. Thoughts??
Q. I'm 44 and he's 25.....we met on fb this past summer after he sent me a request:) My initial impression of him was that he was a good looking guy but a bit insecure and perhaps a bit full of himself( bc of al the selfies and muscle pics on h...
A. 12 November 2020: I agree with Code Warrior.
Do you really see this going to turn into anything worth your while? If you are honest?
You are 19 years his senior, which mean you probably have a whole different outlook on life, more life experiences, rel... (read in full...)
How do I handle these work politics?
Q. Following a break up and because of the Pandemic and lockdowns, and because I work on temporary contracts, I've been having a difficult time financially. I work in higher education and I lost two main contracts this academic year. I was extremely ...
A. 12 November 2020: My thing is this, IF you don't give the introduction, you are screwed too, because they will just find another point of contact than you. AND you already agreed.
Being generous means you expect nothing in return, OP (just wanted to point that out... (read in full...)
How can I help her to see why I feel used and annoyed without her getting angry at me?
Q. Hi everyone, Just wanting a little perspective on a situation. My partner and I have been together for several years. She has gone back to school for the last three years and I have worked full time to support us. She is just finishing up wit...
A. 12 November 2020: I agree with Code Warrior.
Stop dancing around the issue. Stop letting her claim that stress is SO much worse for her. YOU work and support the BOTH of you, you have done all the chores and cooking to HELP minimize the stress.
Doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
How can I start casually dating and hooking up with this dealbreaker?
Q. Im a 25 year old male with only 1 sexual partner in the past. How can I start casually dating and hooking up? Im not looking for a serious relationship as i just got out a 9 year relationship 4 months ago. How can i break it to a lady that i dont ...
A. 12 November 2020: Why do you HAVE to have casual hook ups?
I mean WHY not process then end of your relationship, take the time to heal and THEN move on?
I know it's a "generational" thing this hook up culture but I think it's so unhealthy for both guys and gi... (read in full...)
How often I should give in to his desires to send him a sultry picture and yet still keep him attentive and not thinking about only sex?
Q. Hello, I have a simple question but one that keeps me up at night nonetheless. I'm seeing this guy. Super great, love him to death honestly. However, recently I sent him a slightly... unusual picture. Well, compared to what we usually send. It...
A. 11 November 2020: 1. don't send ANY pictures you don't want your mom, dad, friends, family, employers to see.
THAT one should be logic.
Why?
Because for NOW everything is great with your guy, but down the line it might not be and depending on MANY factor... (read in full...)
Why won't my remaining family ever acknowledge that I am an artist?
Q. I come from a working class family that was originally fairly large but now there are few family members left. My background was abusive and my career path has not been at all straight forward. I was always 'top of my class' in school and was ...
A. 11 November 2020: I think you need to figure out the answer to your own question "Why does this then bother me?" and you will have your answer.
Only you can really KNOW why their acknowledgement and approval is so important to you.
You can't CHANGE your fami... (read in full...)
I'm married but insanely attracted to my neighbour
Q. As the title suggests, I am insanely attracted to my neighbour. I am married with a 5 year old; he's married as well with a baby. He works in my husband's office but in a different department. Nothing's happened yet. I have to give a bit of ba...
A. 11 November 2020: As smart as you seem to be, you should know that you can't always have what you want and that ACTIONS have consequences.
So what that you are attracted? Or bored in your marriage? Or that you USED to live a different life?
NONE of those stateme... (read in full...)
I'm against the idea of my girlfriend wanting to have a three day disco party in our house!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years and recently she's told me she wants to have a three-day disco party in our house with music non-stop and all money donated to COVID-19 causes. She claims "it's all for a good cause". In fact, her ki...
A. 11 November 2020: Well, throwing parties right now is ridiculous. Regardless.
Throwing a party in your own house might not be the best idea either and a 3 day one? If she has done party promotions she knows you need a safe venue, with adequate parking, security... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of leaving but have no money and nowhere to go
Q. Hello, So myself and my partner have been together for 7 years and have a 18 month old son. We’ve been through some difficult times and he has cheated on me before (around 5 years ago) however I decided to give him another chance. Since having o...
A. 9 November 2020: So what you need to do is start making a plan.
That would mean:
1. get a job that can support you and your son.
2. make SURE you are on birth control so you don't make more children with a man you no longer want to be with.
3. stop hol... (read in full...)
He came out to me as a trans woman and I'm straight
Q. So I (a girl) have been dating a guy, J, for quite a few months now, and last month J came out to me as a trans woman. Since then, J has been acting more and more feminine. I am straight and have never felt attraction towards women, and the more ...
A. 9 November 2020: Be honest!
Tell him that you care for him as a person but that you don't see a future with him.
HE has made the choice to come out as trans, something I think he has known for LONGER than he has dated you. So he KNEW when you two started date... (read in full...)
We're dating he says he loves me but he's still hung up on his ex
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and I feel like I love him. About a month ago, he told me that he still loves his ex girlfriend (lasted 3 years and ended when she meet someone else while working abroad). I have split up with him a couple of ...
A. 9 November 2020: My advice?
End it and CUT all contact with him. If you don't have the common sense to NOT get talked into dating him again and again, then try a little harder to FIND your common sense and sense of self-respect and self-preservation.
DUDE! O... (read in full...)
I do great till the girl sees my photo and then I'm always ghosted. It has to be my looks
Q. Has anyone got any stories to share to make me feel better. I know there is no solution but here goes. When I was in school I was always picked on for my looks. It formed a personality where I am embarrassed when others would say it in front of m...
A. 5 November 2020: You can't really change your face, OP
But you can change your hair cut, you can change how you groom yourself. Maybe you look scruffy (but not in a scruffy nerfhearder way). You can change your glasses if they are not flattering and how you dres... (read in full...)
My FWB has stopped having casual sex with me but we are constantly in touch
Q. So im really confused. Before lockdown I was in FWB with this guy. However lately we are not sleeping toegther. Last time we just cuddled. He was fine but later messaged saying this is how feelings develop and wasnt ok with it because he cant commit ...
A. 5 November 2020: He stopped with the sex because he WANTS the "GF-experience" but he doesn't want you to catch feelings. I think he sensed after the "cuddle session" that you were into it and maybe reading more into it than intended.
Or he stopped with the sex ... (read in full...)
How do I get over being angry at my husband and support him?
Q. I am angry at my husband. He was falsely accused almost 4 years ago by a man, who claimed that my husband had run him over. It was an open and shut case for the police, there were witnesses and the man had no injuries. However, he keeps dr...
A. 5 November 2020: You are married to man who sees things kind of black and white but in a GOOD way.
He knows he didn't hit the guy, the courts cleared him so PRESUMING that it would be over is kind of reasonable, but perhaps a bit naïve.
You are mad because he d... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 5 November 2020: Thank you for the update!
I'm so glad that you found the RIGHT guy for you, and are now happy.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is setting up all night outers with her friends. I am not happy about this
Q. Hi need help, Been with my girlfriend for five months, everything is going well and we are very happy together. Some problem has surfaced, my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 28. She is starting to organize nights out with her girlfriends implying sh...
A. 4 November 2020: Yep, to Code Warrior.
You are looking for a reason to bounce. She is 24 and still into partying with friends, you are 28 and ready to settle down.
So the two of you are on different pages and steps in your lives.
I also think it's a little... (read in full...)
Why does he stare at me but not talk?
Q. Hello.. It may seem trivial but i would love some insight into why a man stares and makes constant eye contact with me- however when i returned the eye contact (a bit more subtly) smiled a couple of times- blank, no smile nothing.. To put into co...
A. 4 November 2020: I think you are reading too much into all this "eye contact" thing.
He is looking because you are cute? fit? dressed in a nice way? attractive?
Doesn't mean he wants to ask you out! He just likes to look.
Could be he already HAS a GF so he s... (read in full...)
I thought my LDR girlfriend was a virgin. She's not and I can't get over it
Q. It's been four months of my long distance relationship with my girlfriend. couple of weeks ago, she told me she is not a virgin and she had sex with her ex once.This came up as a sunrise and this surprise hurts me. I'm in love with this girl and I'm ...
A. 4 November 2020: Jesus, OP!
Did she lie initially telling you she was a virgin? If so, end it as she is a LIAR.
YOU had the fantasy that you two would be each other's first. OK. IS that a deal-breaker for you or not?
If it is, wish her well and END it.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is hinting about marriage but I don't want to marry if he's not ready
Q. . Hi ALL, My Boyfriend and I were fighting alot this week. Anyway he did bring up Marriage alot. After our fight he said he wanted to live with me before we get married. He then went on to say he did not know me. I paused and stated this w...
A. 4 November 2020: I think you are being a little unrealistic here.
You are ALREADY pregnant by him, but do not want to live with him unless you are married. And even then, you HATE the place he lives in, but for a ring you will suck that up.
Why get pregnant BEF... (read in full...)
I've no clue how to approach gay dating or meeting single men
Q. I'm 34, and while it's taken me some time to accept I'm attracted to men as well as women, I've no clue how to approach gay dating or meeting single men. I don't have anyone to introduce me, and know nothing about this area. I'm attracted t...
A. 3 November 2020: "I also have a possibly stupid worry I'll be not gay enough for some men, not straight enough for some women."
You are not going to appeal to EVERY gay man, nor every straight woman. JUST like, YOU have preferences so does most others.
So you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 4 February 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim.
Seems like he was looking to share his expenses more than move in together out of LOVE for you. It's convenient to have someone to live with, someone to fuss over you, cook and clean for you.
I think it's time for yo... (read in full...)
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