Help, my friend keeps cancelling on me?!
Q. Hi after some advice- my so called friend keeps cancelling on me. 3 night we have arranged to go out/do something together and she either never replies to me saying what time are we meeting or you know general questions and then texts me for exam...
A. 21 December 2014: Don't be afraid to let her know you made other plans, YOU after all didn't like it when SHE didn't text you, so don't play those games.
You ARE allowed to go out with other people, specially if she has flaked n you SEVERAL times.
A:" I'm sorry... (read in full...)
Move to Israel or be lonely in this beautiful city?
Q. I am 47 and live in Bavaria. Before moving to London I had lived here for 20 years. In 2011 I came back to Germany after living in London for 4 years. It had been very challenging living there throughout the recession and I was very depressed a...
A. 21 December 2014: I would wait for him to get settled a little first, then go on a few vacations. I would NOT uproot til you knew the country better.
My dad has been several times and love Israel. I think it's his second favorite place to be. Which says a lot, sin... (read in full...)
Why is my best friend directing her anger towards me? The event planned was a group thing.
Q. To keep it short, our group of friends had a secret santa event planned to get together for Christmas. Basically, she rarely hangs out with us when we ask. But she VOLUNTEERED to host the group event and have her brother do the drawings for who...
A. 21 December 2014: Good for you OP for not being upset at the advice you got here because we did "give" it to you. No coddle you.
And GOOD for you to try and learn from this.
I think you already knew it wasn't all HER fault, maybe that was why you wrote your p... (read in full...)
He called me a selfish (expletive) because I want a specific colour.
Q. Holiday help! I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 5 years. Everytime around the holidays, especially my birthday and Christmas he gets in a 'mood' like he's so unhappy in his life and then it ruins my days. I hope I don't come off ...
A. 21 December 2014: So he JOKES around the fact that he almost slapped you and then add that it's all your fault?
Do you see what's really going on here?
And I agree with Auntie Bim, he doesn't seem to be in it for the "love" but because YOU accept his behav... (read in full...)
Help, my friend keeps cancelling on me?!
Q. Hi after some advice- my so called friend keeps cancelling on me. 3 night we have arranged to go out/do something together and she either never replies to me saying what time are we meeting or you know general questions and then texts me for exam...
A. 20 December 2014: Tell your friend that you are sorry her mom is in the hospital and then go out with other people.
You might want to remember that EVERYONE else don't revolve around you, and what YOU want to do.
For now makes plans without her, if she has start... (read in full...)
Why is my best friend directing her anger towards me? The event planned was a group thing.
Q. To keep it short, our group of friends had a secret santa event planned to get together for Christmas. Basically, she rarely hangs out with us when we ask. But she VOLUNTEERED to host the group event and have her brother do the drawings for who...
A. 20 December 2014: I agree with Chigirl.
I'd walk away from you drama-llamas too. And I BET you she KNEW why you asked her to be part of this all of a sudden, because NONE of "your group" wanted to do it. YOU expected her to do it for you. And in turn? she had to d... (read in full...)
We've got back together but the breakup has destroyed me!
Q. I recently got back together with my then ex-boyfriend. We dated for 3 years before he decided to call it quits saying that he had fallen out of love with me.It was a real nasty break up and he was horrible and nasty to me I hardly recognized him. I ...
A. 20 December 2014: I think I would ask for some space from him, if I were you. TAKE the time to think if HE is someone you want to be with, considering that he has SHOWN you what kind of person he REALLY is. That rude, mean, degrading and verbally abusive person you ... (read in full...)
How do people resolve which family to visit at Christmas
Q. My boyfriend and I are having issues deciding on Christmas plans. His parents live abroad, so for the last few years he has come round to my parents for dinner then we would both go to visit his brothers in the evening until the small hours. ...
A. 20 December 2014:
I agree with Auntie Bim - if it's NOT rude for HIM to change the rules, it's not rude for you.
SIT him down and tell him that you THOUGHT it was resolved over the years as you two followed the same pattern - dinner one place then going after ... (read in full...)
How do people resolve which family to visit at Christmas
Q. My boyfriend and I are having issues deciding on Christmas plans. His parents live abroad, so for the last few years he has come round to my parents for dinner then we would both go to visit his brothers in the evening until the small hours. ...
A. 20 December 2014: Go by yourself? Leave him at his brother and SIL and go spend time with your family.
YOU two aren't joined at the hip.
That way you both win, he will see your parent in the AM, you will BOTH have dinner at his brother's and YOU get to spend... (read in full...)
I think he proposed just to win me back, not because he wants to be married
Q. I would greatly appreciate your advice. My boyfriend of three years proposed to me last Christmas but is yet to show an ounce of interest in the wedding or even setting a year. Our sex life has practicality non existent due to him apparently having ...
A. 19 December 2014: Yikes, poor NEW dude.
I think you CAN go on the vacation with the ex, if you CAN NOT get a refund or travel with someone else, BUT I think it's a tad unfair on the new guy. Specially since your EX, wants you back. WHICH means you two aren't t... (read in full...)
He's trying to give up porn but I'm afraid he doesn't find me attractive
Q. My boyfriends trying to give up watching porn and masturbating because it's interfering with our sex life. He's admitted that he's sometimes switches on the porn and thinks about masturbating and then stops, this is recently since he decided it. ...
A. 19 December 2014: Show him this website, it might help him too.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/node/79
As for masturbation, I don't think it's "unhealthy" at any age, UNLESS you rather wank then be intimate with your partner.
I don't really think it's you. I... (read in full...)
We've not dated or had sex but he said he would leave his wife for me!
Q. Hi guys, I'm in such a pickle and I wish I didn't have this to worry over right before Christmas. Me and my partner have been together for six years, happy years and I love him dearly. My partners boss is 14 years older than myself and ...
A. 19 December 2014: I see nothing in your post about your BF, really he seems like an afterthought to you. Obviously you haven't let him in on your little fantasy crush and what's really going on. Which mean, he isn't your priority.
YOU are actually consider... (read in full...)
13 months since we broke up and I still want him back. What are the chances that we could resume our relationship?
Q. My ex and I split up last year after a five year relationship. Like every relationship it had its ups and downs, but far more ups than downs. We had just moved into a house I had bought. When he asked to split up it broke me to pieces but I had ...
A. 19 December 2014: I would ALSO like to point out that BEFORE you tell him to pack his crap and get out permanently, that you seek LEGAL counseling to ENSURE he can not MAKE a claim on YOUR house.
TALK to a lawyer/solicitor to make SURE he can not make demands ... (read in full...)
First he was very keen. I wanted to proceed slowly. Yet now he seems to be becoming less interested. Why? What should I do?
Q. Hi I'd like some advice please. I've recently started dating a new man but I've had really bad experiences in past relationships and am extremely insecure. When we first started dating he was very full on - flowers, mix tapes(!), dinners, he treat...
A. 19 December 2014: To me, when a guy is TOO full on from the get go, they aren't sincere, they are LOOKING to fulfill a fantasy more than finding a a partner in reality. And that is why they run out of steam so fast.
I do think this guy wants a partner, and that is ... (read in full...)
What should I write so I don't seem creepy?
Q. There's a girl from Norway on my course, let's call her Emily, that I've adored for some time now. I've seen her go through a rocky relationship with someone in this time, its difficult to see her unhappy. I've been spending more time talking ...
A. 19 December 2014: Good for you! Merry Christmas!... (read in full...)
He kicked me out because I cheated. Will he take me back?
Q. I have been with my my boyfriend for a little over two years. This week I had went behind his back and hung out with my ex, my ex would call me beautiful and do little gestures like put his hand on my leg while driving grab my butt randomly and open ...
A. 19 December 2014: I think SOMETHING was lacking in your relationship. Maybe you felt your BF was giving you enough attention, but here is the deal... GETTING that attention from an ex... is NOT a good idea. That may be the reason, however.... it sounds to me like you ... (read in full...)
13 months since we broke up and I still want him back. What are the chances that we could resume our relationship?
Q. My ex and I split up last year after a five year relationship. Like every relationship it had its ups and downs, but far more ups than downs. We had just moved into a house I had bought. When he asked to split up it broke me to pieces but I had ...
A. 19 December 2014:
I'm sorry to say that I don't think he is looking to get back with you, and that he is taking FULL advantage of the knowledge that you have the HOPE he will one day realize what he gave up (you) - and thus he USES your place for storage now.
... (read in full...)
Like cinderella I want to go to the party, but instead of an ugly sister an ex friend will be there!
Q. Hi ive been invited to my partners office party. I feel nervous as have not met any of his friends or wives/ partners. My major problem is a ex friend of mine and his who he also was very close to will be going as she used to work there and her ...
A. 18 December 2014: Go if you feel you HAVE to support your partner and then "KILL" the "evil" ladies with kindness or simply avoid them.
It's ONLY a couple of hours.... (read in full...)
I went back to my abusive ex
Q. Dear Cupid I broke up with my abusive bf a month back. I was crying at the start and trying very hard to move on. He contacted me twice I didn't pick up the calls. Yesterday I saw his old tshirt in one of my boxes which triggered a memory before ...
A. 18 December 2014: What is "wrong" with you? I think having dated someone abusive you end up in the mindset that ABUSE is all you deserve, and that being with an abusive person is "better" then being alone, perhaps?
YOU do NOT deserve it. NO ONE deserves to be abuse... (read in full...)
Am I being too judgemental, can people change and grow?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 6 weeks. He is very loving, contacts me everyday and says he thinks I'm the one. We had a talk about his past and it turned out his previous relationship 18 months ago was with an engaged woman. She was a co worker ...
A. 18 December 2014: I agree that you are NOT being judgmental in wondering IF his past actions means he "might/could" cheat on you too.
I think that is a logical assumption.
Does it mean he WILL cheat? No. But your values and morals MAY be very different from h... (read in full...)
Living with his lazy dirty family has me at the end of my tether
Q. Hello. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. His family is starting to become a deal breaker for me. Right now, I live with my boyfriend and his family. We pay rent, we buy our own groceries, and we pay for whatever else we use. We ...
A. 18 December 2014: I can only SEE the option to MOVE out. AND maybe be a BIT less picky about the size and location of an apartment.
OR
SUCK it up. Ask your BF to pick up the dog crap, clean the bathroom yourself and have a fridge in your room with YOUR stuff.... (read in full...)
I thought things were going well but now he's behaving strangely
Q. Hey guys. So I recently started having a crush on the new guy at work. I've been working as an admin. assistant for 4 years now and he's a teacher. We're two of the youngest employees at my job (25) so it's nice having him around. We have been ...
A. 18 December 2014: Personally, I'd dial it back.. ALL the way back to JUST being co-workers.
He might NOT want to date a co-worker OR he has a GF?... (read in full...)
He's safe, respectful, but sometimes that doesn't seem enough
Q. I've been dating a guy on and off for a year now that is sweet, patient - I've cheated a couple times while we were in an "off" point in the relationship... :/ - and loving. However, I feel like I have to tell him directly everything I want in the ...
A. 18 December 2014: Dating a guy because it is EASIER then breaking up and seeing him during sports, is not really a good "enough" excuse. I mean if you REALLY look at it, you two tried dating, but aren't REALLY as good of a match as you first hoped/presumed. SO, NOW ... (read in full...)
The relationship is dead --- why doesn't he let me go?
Q. My relationship has been dead for the past year been with him for 2 years now ,problems began early on in our relationship due to his insecurities and I had some family problems so that pushed me away because he started drinking on a few occasions ...
A. 18 December 2014: So stop waiting for HIM to make this choice, it YOUR LIFE too. Find a place near your daughter and move.
GET your ducks in a row, pack up whatever he has at your house and pack whatever YOU have at his. FIND a place where you WANT to live and MAKE... (read in full...)
He called me a selfish (expletive) because I want a specific colour.
Q. Holiday help! I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 5 years. Everytime around the holidays, especially my birthday and Christmas he gets in a 'mood' like he's so unhappy in his life and then it ruins my days. I hope I don't come off ...
A. 18 December 2014: Do you two have a limit (cost price) for gifts? If not, I suggest you start there (for next time).
Do I think you are a selfish C for wanting a specific color and gift? No. I do think it's a good idea to give a person more then ONE thing to choos... (read in full...)
What are my rights and my rights to items my parents have given me, if I move out of home? I fear that my parents may disown me if I move in with my older brother.
Q. Three years ago my parents kicked my older brother out because he is gay. Basically they told me not to have any contact with him what so ever. My brother keeps in touch with me with e-mails but i no longer use the computer at home because my paren...
A. 17 December 2014: I don't think you actually have a legal right to anything your parents have bought you (such as furniture) but smaller items (jewelry, laptops) things you can CARRY with you might be another matter.
I think if they kicked him out with nothing ... (read in full...)
I like her except for the lack of punctuality
Q. I've been dating a girl for about 2 weeks now. It's going great but very early days. The one problem I have is she's always late! I know to most people this won't be an issue but it really annoys me. Turning up an hour late and then with no apology. ...
A. 17 December 2014: I agree that it CAN be more then just disrespect.
My aunt was constantly late. FOR everything. Except her work. And I think that was because her oldest daughter managed her time, as in woke her up (her mom that is) and go her out of the door so ... (read in full...)
She complains about masterbating and about porn. But she never wants to initiate sex. What's a guy supposed to do?
Q. Hi , what can I do about my girlfriend of 7 months ? She insists i'm not to watch porn when I masterbate but declines my advances to initiate sex? Just the other day I tried it on with her and she had a go at me stating all I'm ever interest...
A. 17 December 2014: I'm with SVC
You two are not a good match. Though I will say if you SIT and watch porn with her around, I get why she feels angry, because in HER mind, SHE isn't good enough compared to the "porn stars" you are wanking too and TRUST ME most wom... (read in full...)
I want him to myself for two nights!
Q. I recently met the most incredible man. Which is generally how I begin these questions, but this time, it's different! He's everything I've wanted, we have so much open communicating and all we do is laugh and we really understand each other. The ...
A. 17 December 2014: I would not ask for this or push it. The guy is CLEARLY smitten with you and has INCLUDED you with his circle of friends. HE wants YOU to be around them and them around you. I don't think it's "just" about showing you off. I think it's about showing ... (read in full...)
FWB advice needed. Is she wanting more but isn't being clear, or am I being used and should I should end it now?
Q. Hi everyone, So I've got a question regarding my "fwb". I can't tell what she wants and wondering if I should end it before I develop deeper feelings for her. First background so you can get an idea of where I'm coming from: We call it a...
A. 17 December 2014: Sorry, she is just using you as entertainment while she waits on her BF's moves.
Never settle for someone who already has a partner, because they can never give themselves fully. YOU get whatever little "leftovers" she can manage to throw your way... (read in full...)
Does clothing really play a part in attractiveness?
Q. Does clothing really play a part in your attractiveness? I come from a relatively 'poor' or woking middle class family. While I've never had to worry about going to bed on an empty stomach and have always attended quality schools, my family income...
A. 17 December 2014: Clothing doesn't MAKE you more attractive.
HOWEVER, dressing right for your body can. Taking care of your self and how you look can as well. Someone who take the time to look put together, can come off as more attractive, if only because she/he i... (read in full...)
His actions speak louder than words, what do you think?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend around ten months. We only see each other twice a week due to work commitments on both parts so the time I get to spend with him is precious. He has told me I'm the first woman he's ever truly loved...
A. 17 December 2014: If you haven't brought up the issue of him NOT really spending time with YOU when you are there (as he is busy on the phone) he might think all is well and this is perfect.
Seems to me that you do most of the "work" in this relationship, so I'd c... (read in full...)
Whose decision is it anyway?
Q. My fiancé has 3 children, 21, 23 and 26. They still live at home. Her children want the ex husband to come for Christmas Day lunch at her house. He will not come if I am there. They have been divorced 10 years. She is now telling me she won't ...
A. 17 December 2014: I would not be OK with this. AT ALL.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a gamer and I don't know how to deal with his hours, suggestions would be helpful!
Q. I have a bit of a problem.. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost two years now. I'm 25 and he's 24. Our relationship started out as long-distance for eight months until he moved away from his small home town, family, friends, and a j...
A. 17 December 2014: For me, when I read your post, I don't really understand why gaming is a bigger issue than his "philandering" lifestyle of chatting/flirting with other women online.
I am a gamer, I play a few hours here and there, it is my "reward" at times wh... (read in full...)
Will anyone who follows her first love be second best?
Q. A girl I know told me that the love of her life ,her first BF(broke up years ago after a few years of relationship), will always be the one she carers about. I have a question: is this fair to the guy she marries? I mean her future husband (she ...
A. 17 December 2014: YOU do know that most people DO not marry their first love? And that many of them are still QUITE happy with the person they DO end up marrying?
My first love is unforgettable in many ways, but I think he would have made a bad husband, and I do... (read in full...)
Love, or my dreams?
Q. So i am in serious help and i need some opinions on what to do. Ive been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now! It started off perfect and i was happier than ever! I live in Texas and he is living in Oklahoma. We are actually 15 years ...
A. 17 December 2014: When I read your post I felt sorry for you. Because NO ONE should go so against their dreams and personal wishes to PLEASE a partner.
To me, it really reads as if he CHOSE a younger woman so he can MOLD and SHAPE her into HIS ideal of a wife/wom... (read in full...)
Annoyed with his manipulative ex
Q. Let me start this by saying that my new boyfriend is wonderful. I'm 34 years old and have never met anyone so perfect for me in all of my life. He goes out of his way to do things for me. This weekend I had to be away for a business trip and he ...
A. 17 December 2014: I have t agree with YouWish and Chigirl.
It is your BF's choice to keep her around in his life (and consequently yours). And he does it because HE gets something OUT of this relationship.
I seriously doubt that if she was SUCH a waste of his t... (read in full...)
He seems into me when he's had a drink, but he was sober when he asked me to the cinema... what's going on?
Q. Ok I'm really confused... I met this really nice guy online, it started off really slow then we went on a date and we kissed and stayed up late talking, he then stayed at mine, nothing happened just kissing - it was great! We went on another date ...
A. 16 December 2014: I think he was pretty nervous. But I also think it was a good sign that he ASKED you out on a "real" date, not just to come snog you on your couch.
... (read in full...)
When a man is looking for a girlfriend does he prefer her to look plain or modest?
Q. What are men looking for? Honestly. I was on my break at work and having a laugh and joke with some of my male colleges. We got on to the subject of kids and i spoke about my daughter and Christmas. One of them said, your not married are you? I ...
A. 16 December 2014: I think you understood his meaning just fine, there wasn't much to misunderstand.
However, I think you give this guy WAY to much credit. He can't possibly KNOW what "men" as a group want in a woman.
What I'd do is not take his "advice" to hear... (read in full...)
How to get over him?
Q. Ive been hanging out with a guy who has a gf. Nothing happens between us except for a couple dry humps and kisses.. Recently, he told me that he was trying to replace his gf with me and that I was a not so far replica of her. He then stated that his ...
A. 16 December 2014: It means that he thinks he can treat you like dirt, because you are willing to get into situations with HIM that you really should stay away from.
A guy with a GF is a no-no. Don'[t go chasing guys like that, it's (not quite) as bad as chasing ... (read in full...)
I think I may have missed my chance
Q. I was getting pretty close to a man in the last few months but was unsure if I wanted to just stay as close friends or go further with him which he was wanting to do. Anyway, because I was indecisive and unsure he has suddenly moved on to another ...
A. 15 December 2014: What made you hold back initially?
You said you knew him a few months and he wanted more. My guess is your gut told you he was moving too fast for you. I mean he moved on pretty fast too, so really HOW serious was he about you?
I think you N... (read in full...)
Would it be ok for me to have a casual arrangement with an abusive ex?
Q. Dear Cupid I have recently came out of an emotionally, verbally very very abusive relationship. He was the love of my life who started turning abusive for past 1 year and I became a typical doormat for him, lost all my self esteem, hated myself f...
A. 15 December 2014: It sounds like a REALLY bad idea. Great sex and all, I don't think it's worth it.
You make it sound like you won't be able to find a GOOD guy who is ALSO good in bed, so why not have a little casual "sexy time" with the abusive ex....
You eve... (read in full...)
What should I write so I don't seem creepy?
Q. There's a girl from Norway on my course, let's call her Emily, that I've adored for some time now. I've seen her go through a rocky relationship with someone in this time, its difficult to see her unhappy. I've been spending more time talking ...
A. 13 December 2014: You could use any of these quotes:
http://www.quotegarden.com/christmas.html
Because they are NOT too personal, but can still show you care. I don't think declarations of feelings should be in a Christmas card.
You could also write your gr... (read in full...)
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