My b/f is unemployed and we had a fight over me spending money. How do I make things right?
Q. i'll try to make this short: my boyfriend and I have been together for little over a year. Everything's perfect. However, he's broke and unemployed and that means I take the financial burden. We both live with our parents, as we're in our 20s...
A. 4 January 2015: STOP bailing him out financially. YOU DO NOT owe him to pay his way. He may NOT be unemployed by his own design, but it wasn't YOUR "fault" either.
YOUR saving are YOURS. YOU need to keep them intact. Don't spend them on stuff (like HIS expenses... (read in full...)
Do I have a lot to learn or is he trying to take advantage of me?
Q. Hello, So my boyfriend is 7 years older than me and we have been dating for under a year. This is the first time I have dated an older guy. We don't live together and we are only together a few nights out of the week after we both get off for work...
A. 4 January 2015: I'm sorry, your BF is out of his mind!
You have to run around in a dress, high heels at HIS house when no one else is there but the two of you? Seriously? Does he run around in his tux, looking like a movie star too?
And he wants you to do ... (read in full...)
Should we have a discussion about being exclusive?
Q. I met a guy 5 months ago and we got on very well and kept seeing each other. In the early days we went on dates regularly and things were going well for us. We are going away on holiday together in a few weeks and I have no reason to think that we ...
A. 4 January 2015: I would DEFINITELY have a talk about being exclusive if you two are going on vacations together.
I have been MARRIED for 17 years (together 19) and I think I can count the "arguments" on two hands - so more then 5 times, less then 10. So NOT havi... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants the relationship to move forward, but I feel like that's just asking for trouble!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for about 6 months. I really enjoy his company. He is funny and very understanding. And very passionate. But over the 6 months certain things have been bothering me and Im wondering if I should really be In ...
A. 4 January 2015: To me the health concern is the least of it (but not insignificant AT ALL). The fact that he ISN'T able to take care of himself, he lives with his brother, not to HELP out his brother, but because he can't take care of himself (financially), he ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...
A. 4 January 2015: Well, if nothing else, DID you LEARN anything from this? That lying isn't HELPING YOU or HER?
That being honest, may cause problems, but lies? They tear down trust in a heartbeat.
If your GF doesn't like you smoking hash/cannabis WH... (read in full...)
Is it time to cut him off? I have been there for my friend but he hasn't reciprocated.
Q. Hi I'm looking for advice on my friends, I am a single mother and spends a lot of time just me and my daughter. I had lots of friends before I had my daughter but stopped seeing them as much as obviously my situation had changed, until just bef...
A. 4 January 2015: I wouldn't cut him off, but I WOULD stop to rely on him as much as you have. He seems a tad flaky and thus make for a great acquaintance, NOT so great friend.
HE is VERY much busy with his SINGLE life, you on the other hand has responsi... (read in full...)
Why do I feel sick with doing the right thing?
Q. Recently i reported an employee for theft, it really sucked. I reported them jst before my holidays and i spoke to a manager and said they should keep an eye on so n so. After my holidays the management confirmed my suspicions but needed more proof. ...
A. 4 January 2015: Been there, done that and it SUCKS! We had a really nice guy who would tend bar at the same club I did. We had separate registers (he was on one end of the bar I the other) and at the end of shift, HIS register NEVER came out right. He would not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont cope if they take his licence!
Q. I'm 16 and my boyfriend is also 16. He recently got a speeding ticket for going 89 in an 50. (I know, that's crazy, but he's a teenage boy, aren't they all? Lol) he has a court date set (which I believe is febuary 11) and Is scared they are going ...
A. 4 January 2015: Here is the thing. When HE got his driver license he KNEW that speed limits are there for a reason (yes, I know MANY adults break them) but he made the CHOICE to speed, which means he made the choice to break the law.
When you BREAK the law, you... (read in full...)
Would it be awful if I finally confirmed the break up over the phone? Or should I go round?
Q. Hello I'd like some advice please. My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a few months now due to the fact he is a compulsive liar and was talking to other girls inappropriately. I went round to see him yesterday with the intention of ...
A. 4 January 2015: I would go round. If you seriously don't think you want to continue, I think ending it face to face is the "right" thing to do, specially after 7 years together. However, if he is GOOD at manipulating you or you don't feel safe going, then call him ... (read in full...)
I can cope with my ex being with any girl except HER
Q. Help. I am trying to get over a man who was a bit of a player - and moved on from me to be with a girl I know. The girl always plays it down and pretends there is nothing going on (possibly not to hurt my feelings) but the guy told me they are...
A. 4 January 2015: Does it REALLY matter if she think you unfriend her because you are bitter? I mean she doesn't seem a like a stellar friend or even halfway decent acquaintance.
If I were you, I'd STOP wasting so much time, energy and emotions on this fella. H... (read in full...)
Could his online message have been meant for me?
Q. I met someone a few months ago. He is very attracted to me (and I to him), and I recently went out of my way to do something nice for him to thank him for something he did. We are just friends and neither of us has said anything...yet. I am still in ...
A. 3 January 2015: No, as nice as that fantasy might BE for you, you need to come back to reality.
You want a chance or anything with this guy... BE single, get over the current relationship.... (read in full...)
He says he will support my decision, but I feel he is pushing for an abortion.
Q. I met a guy over the summer while we were both vacationing. We kept in touch and he has visited me since then every other weekend and sometimes those in between. Although he lives in the next state over we keep in contact daily have great ...
A. 3 January 2015: I think as long as you can take care of the child BY yourself as a SINGLE mother, you should follow your HEART and have the child.
Neither of you might have wanted a baby, but.. there it is. It's EASY for a guy to say, I think abortion is the best... (read in full...)
Would it be okay for me to ask my boyfriend which of his female friends he has slept with?
Q. My boyfriend still has a lot of female friends from high school. He is now 33. Some of them are ex gfs and others are girls he just hooked up with once or twice. They are all friends on FB and continue to see each others in groups or separately as ...
A. 3 January 2015: Nope. I don't think his sexual past is really any of your business.
I would personally meet them, I have found meeting exes makes them feel like less of a "treat" to the relationship and If they harbor any romantic feelings towards your guy, see... (read in full...)
The more she drinks the more obnoxious she becomes, should I tell her?
Q. I met this lady at a social function. She was the life of the party funny witty and outgoing. She seriously could be a professional comic. We have hung out about 7X since our meeting. These hang outs have been scattered over 3-4 years. Casual ...
A. 3 January 2015: I think, if you can find a tactful way of saying it to her, would suggest you tell her. She might not want to hear it, she might resent you for pointing it out. But... I do think she is aware of her drinking isn't attractive.... (read in full...)
I texted her "thanks for ruining my relationship" and she just lolled!
Q. My gf of a year broke up with me due to my friendship with a girl. On hindsight I was more emotionally invested in her than my gf and I do regret my actions. A few days back I texted her (out of anger) "thanks for ruining my relationship". (When ...
A. 3 January 2015: I think she "loled" because YOU were the one ruining your relationship NOT her, as SHE was NOT invested or part of that relationship.
You, dear boy, need to OWN your own mistakes and actions not pass the monkey.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?
Q. About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...
A. 3 January 2015: I agree with Celtic.
It really DEPENDS on what you lied about.
Though I don't think 1 weeks break is going to make a difference. Either you two can work through it or you can't.... (read in full...)
My crush at work is married so why is he acting this way towards me?
Q. I use to have a crush on a guy at work until I found out about his girlfriend. I thought the attraction was mutual but I decided to let it go because he was hot and cold and maybe I was reading into things. Anyway they got married a few months ago ...
A. 3 January 2015: Since he has a rather flawed moral compass, you will have to "act" like the grown up with good sense here. Which mean you IGNORE the asshat.
I still say the guy is an "attention-whore"- and if he KNOWS you like him or USED to crush on him, he ... (read in full...)
Would you be with someone who wouldn't have sex unless you used a condom?
Q. Hi everyone. A question for both, men and women: how would you feel if someone you want to be intimate with won't do so unless you use a condom? Boyfriend or girlfriend relationship type. Also, if you get asked to be tested for STDS, do you do it? ...
A. 3 January 2015: I think it's a must with a new partner.
I agree, that I would NOT have unprotected sex with out 2 (TWO) tests done (like SVC mentioned 6 months apart).
And I would NOT have sex without a condom with someone "new".
I see ABSOLUTELY nothing w... (read in full...)
I can cope with my ex being with any girl except HER
Q. Help. I am trying to get over a man who was a bit of a player - and moved on from me to be with a girl I know. The girl always plays it down and pretends there is nothing going on (possibly not to hurt my feelings) but the guy told me they are...
A. 3 January 2015: Whom he dates is, in fact NONE of your beeswax. As annoying, hurtful, upsetting as it may feel for you - HE is free to date whomever he chooses.
If this is so upsetting to you, CUT them both out of your life. If they aren't a positive influenc... (read in full...)
Maybe or maybe not in love with a taken guy?
Q. Hey, this is going to be a long post but I am dying to talk about this. This past April I met a guy online and we just cammed with each other. We continued to do it every once in a while and I thought he was handsome and nice but nothing els...
A. 2 January 2015: Eh let him go, he is a SUPER tease and borderline cheater. Now I get that he might be hot and all, but if you are looking for LOVE, HE isn't it.
If YOU were with a guy, would you like that he talked (the fictitious BF) to another guy like this guy... (read in full...)
My crush at work is married so why is he acting this way towards me?
Q. I use to have a crush on a guy at work until I found out about his girlfriend. I thought the attraction was mutual but I decided to let it go because he was hot and cold and maybe I was reading into things. Anyway they got married a few months ago ...
A. 2 January 2015: He misses the attention he used to get from you, BEFORE you know about the GF/now wife.
Just because a person get married doesn't mean they get instant blinders on, or no longer wants social interactions.
He seems a little immature honestl... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me on Facebook now?
Q. Why does he ignore me on Facebook now? I had a brief fling with a guy who is a bit of a player. He has now moved on to some other girl which I was quite bitter about and we are not as close anymore now. He used to keep in touch with me since we...
A. 2 January 2015: Honey, stop putting so much focus on Facebook. THAT would be my first advice. It's not reality.
And I agree with Auntie Bim, you are OBSESSING over a man whom you had a brief fling with and now you see him for who he is, a guy who doesn't give you... (read in full...)
Struggling to move on from ex, please help.
Q. I am currently struggling with being able to forget about my ex. I was with him for 2 years and we'd gone through so much together. He was my rock and I loved him more than anything. I had a fair few problems of my own, which I know, at times, I ...
A. 2 January 2015: You won't ever forget him, it's that simple. But as you age you might find that you realize that you two weren't as compatible as you would have liked. And that ending the relationship really was the "right" thing to happen.
Everyone has their li... (read in full...)
I want to separate but b/f keeps calling me!
Q. Hi, my problem is my boyfriend. I want to go our separate ways but he keeps calling me and i don`t want to be rude so i answer. The reason i want to spilt is because he gets angry over little things, is controlling and borrows money and never gives ...
A. 1 January 2015: Block his number? Or get a new phonenumber.. OR here is novel idea... PUT on some BIG girl panties and tell him, I'm sorry I don't see us having a future, so this is the end for me. I wish you all the best, but I'm done dating you. Then proceed to ... (read in full...)
How much texting is too much texting?
Q. How much texting (of the opposite sex) is considered flirting or cheating when you are in an exclusive relationship? I got angry after discovering my bf has been texting other girls almost everyday. I asked to see his messages but he deleted them ...
A. 1 January 2015: Texting people A LOT is pretty typical for your generation, doesn't mean he is cheating, but it also doesn't mean it's all HARMLESS. Specially if he feels the needs to delete them so YOU can not see them.
And another typical think for your gen... (read in full...)
I think this is catfish behaviour!
Q. So currently I am in a LDR with a girl whom I share feelings for. We have been talking to each other for well over what's going to be months already. Throughout this relationship I have always been willing to send pictures and to want to skype an...
A. 1 January 2015: I have to agree. Sending a picture shouldn't be a big deal. Most folk have SEVERAL posted on their social network pages (like Facebook) so sending you one of those would be easy.
I think, the person you "think" you are in a LDR with is NOT who ... (read in full...)
Why is my B/f so hesitant to let his ex know that he is with me? And if he's wanting to save his chances with her, why is he talking about a future with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Throughout this year, he has kept in touch with his ex. They speak on the phone to keep in touch. During their phone convos, he has never mentioned to her that he is dating me. I didn't mind...
A. 1 January 2015: I think you hit the nail on the head. He is hesitant because 1. he doesn't want to hurt her feeling by having moved on and 2. just in case they can get back together.
I would stop bringing it up. Because even IF he does TELL you that he told her... (read in full...)
Is it possible my husband does NOT understand respect?
Q. I have been with my husband 4 years. He is extremely outgoing and friendly with everyone. There are times when he has no idea what boundaries or respect are. Three examples: 1)he has put one of my intoxicated friends in bed with me but climbs in, in ...
A. 31 December 2014: He sounds utterly immature.
And I have to agree with WiseOwlE - YOU must have know what kind of personality he has BEFORE saying I do, OR, did you think MARRIAGE would totally change him?
You two sounds slightly incompatible. He has a "laisse... (read in full...)
How do I move away from this friendship when we also work together?
Q. I have been friends with this person for over 5 years now , we both work together. I used to trust this person and she and i have both been there for each other. I have doing alot of self growth over the last year or so as i have been in a bad place ...
A. 31 December 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE.
Just be professional, don't hang out with her at work or outside of work. When you GO to WORK, then WORK, be courteous, polite to her, but don't offer the "extras" we normally do, to people we consider FRIENDS.
MAKE yo... (read in full...)
He will not commit but have I put up with this for too long? Should I stay or go?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for years I have met his mom and sisters they all know about me. He practically shares everything with me even personal stuff like his habits bank details etc. I literally am his first point of call whenever...
A. 31 December 2014: I agree with SVC, I doubt you will leave, but here goes.
YOU are getting something out of this, or you would have been gone long time ago. Maybe you LIKE being needed (who doesn't?), maybe it's your maternal instincts taking over a bit, or maybe... (read in full...)
He wouldn't commit so I ended it and bought a house. Now we might be getting back together...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, and for the last year I have been unhappy with the progress we've been making. He asked me to move into his home a while back but point blank refused to commit to/discuss any more of a future than ...
A. 31 December 2014: You already know what to do.
Keep the house. MOVE into YOUR house. IF you want to try dating him again, then sit yourself down and consider what you want/need from him in order to make it work, then consider if he AT ALL can give you that.
... (read in full...)
Should I give up on Prince Charming? Says he won't marry me unless I agree to become a swinger with him
Q. I am a very attractive, tall, successful, and fun-loving 25-year-old young woman. I am deeply and truly in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our sex is amazing, and the adventures we have together are truly unreal. ...
A. 31 December 2014: Not all men cheat. Most PEOPLE have certain fantasies and MANY people don't seem to realize that you shouldn't LIVE out all of them because reality CAN NOT live up to fantasy.
Personally, I'd walk away. You don't WANT to swing and I think that is ... (read in full...)
I want my ex take an HIV and STD before rekindling our relationship. What if he refuses to do so?
Q. Dear Cupid,I haven't been with my ex for over ten years we are talking long distance now and have hopes of rekindling our relationship, but I am in fear of having sex with him . I want him to take an HIV and STD test before I give myself to him agai...
A. 31 December 2014: If he doesn't want to test, DO you really want to be with him?... (read in full...)
She thinks this is funny. How can I get her to understand that I don't like that she when we make love she lets off wind? Why does this happen?
Q. I have what I call a severe prob;em with my partner in that when we make love she lets off wind and never does do anything to stop it and when I said something about it she thought it was funny and laughed at me and wonder if I should end it with ...
A. 31 December 2014: Buy her some beano. It might help prevent SOME of the gas, but like Auntie Bim explained it might not be "GAS" but air from her vagina. And it MIGHT be the position you two use where you actually put enough PRESSURE on her innards for her to fart.
... (read in full...)
Which path should I go down for myself and my daughter?
Q. Dear cupid, I have a daughter I'd like to provide for. The problem is that I can't decide on how to go about it. At first, I decided to join the military, but once I realized that my personality doesn't match the lifestyle I changed my mind and...
A. 30 December 2014: I don't think the military is for you from what you write. My husband served 26 years, and I was there for 16 of those, and I can tell you it's NOT an easy job for many young people. Single moms? Even harder, as you HAVE to have a family care plan ... (read in full...)
What did his email mean? Does he not want to meet up any more?
Q. Hi! I have a question about what this guy meant in an email. I'm on an online dating site and have been communicating with a few people. One guy in particular wanted to meet up, so he sent an email to ask about meeting up that week (Christmas ...
A. 30 December 2014: I'd let this one go too.
I DO think he was hoping for some New Year's quicky. A guy who doesn't give DECENT amount of notice for a meet-up and who doesn't get back to you fast, is (to me at least) not looking for anything serious. I might be readi... (read in full...)
What's going on? What should I do? He manipulated me into ending our relationship two days before New Year
Q. I wrote a few weeks ago because my new boyfriend, who had showered me with attention, flowers, dinners, mix tapes, texts, at the start, had gone a bit quiet with me. The first time I stayed over his house (and the first time we had sex), he had a...
A. 30 December 2014: Leave him alone, the guy is a flake.
My guess? Either he DID met someone else (which is why he is heading to NY for New Years)or he JUST isn't as into you as he WANTED to be.
I think he came on WAY to strong as it was and maybe he did too.
L... (read in full...)
I feel cheap doing what he asks. Will I lose my fiance if I stop agreeing to his requests to skype while undressed?
Q. I'm in a LDR relationship in which we have met recently and have hadsexual relationships. Everything is well except this man loves sex a lot. He's asked me to undress on Skype and arouse him to masturbate every other night. I've done it twice now...
A. 30 December 2014: You should put on your BIG girl panties and TELL him. I feel uncomfortable doing this. It makes me feel cheap.
One thing is taking your clothes of to a camera/screen anther is to do so in person. While many will think it's a "compliment" to you t... (read in full...)
Married friend wanted sex, I refused and said I could only offer friendship and now he's conveniently disappeared!
Q. Hi. I'd like some advice about something that I think I already know the answer to. Recently a guy friend, who is now married, got in touch and asked if I'd like to meet up over the holidays. I'm also now in a relationship and told him this. H...
A. 30 December 2014: Ignore him, block him of all media and phone.
The dude was NOT being a FRIEND, he was JUST trying to get laid. He's out looking for someone else, since you turned him down.
What a sleaze. I think I'd make him disappear completely from ... (read in full...)
Should my b/f have told hix ex why I blocked ber on facebook?
Q. My boyfriend of six months has a really hot ex girlfriend. I have spent a lot of time looking at photos of her on Facebook and feeling jealous. She dumped him after a few years together and he was heartbroken. I decided to block her on Facebook so ...
A. 30 December 2014: Was he out of line? In my book, yes. It's none of her GD business WHY you blocked her. YOU can block whomever you want.
He could have said;" I don't know why she blocked you, but what is it to you?".
... (read in full...)
I broke up with boyfriend because if his behavior but now he is changing.
Q. I broke up with my bf a few days back because I felt our personalities were not compatible. Time and again we argue over his flirtations with other girls and him constantly texting them (everyday) and them sending him their selfies. I have mentioned ...
A. 30 December 2014:
READ what WiseOwlE wrote, over and over till it sinks in. TRUST your instincts and STAY away from him. He is not going to change. THAT is who he is. And NO ONE changes overnight, over a week, a month or some not even in a year or 10. THEY are who ... (read in full...)
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