Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 26 January 2015: No need to explain it to her again, just AVOID making plans with her or if she tries tell her point blank no, thanks.
Yes, you can still be polite and courteous since you have shared friends. But the day to day friendship, the calling each oth... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 21 January 2015: You sounds AWFULLY entitled. Sorry, but that IS how you come across in your post and answer.
INSTEAD of all this rage and animosity towards your in-laws, you and your BF needs to focus on getting on your OWN two feet and take care of YOURSELV... (read in full...)
Do I deserve his crazy behavior towards me?
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend, again! I desperately want to know if my behaviour is the problem because everything always seems to end up being my fault and I have to apologise. I was seeing him for just over two years and it's been very ...
A. 19 January 2015: You know, it's NOT you.
But YOU CAN take charge of certain things, such as NO ALLOW him back. Change your phone number so he CAN NOT call/text and harass you. INFORM your employer that you have an abusive ex and a decent company will blacklis... (read in full...)
My in-laws are difficult to live with
Q. I've been living with my in laws because of financial reasons. My mother in law put heaps of pressure on us despite being in a bad financial position. I had lost my job and got no redundancy. But she said don't worry about it. Then didn't help. Yet ...
A. 19 January 2015: Time to get out of that house ASAP.
Living with family RARELY works out. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his change in behavior?
Q. My boyfriend of two years has been somewhat distant on and off for the last month, but for the most part things have been okay. We are somewhat long distance, we live 40 miles apart. We just returned on Tuesday from a group trip for two weeks. He ...
A. 19 January 2015: It seems quite weird and yes, I would think something was going on that he is not telling.
... (read in full...)
Are we obliged to inform friends when our plans change?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he just wants to be friends, and I agreed. Last week, I told him that I would stop by after my weekly club meeting. He said great, see ya soon. The meeting was longer than I thought, but once it was over I offered to still...
A. 19 January 2015: Yep, if you CALL yourself his "friend" then you should show some common courtesy and call and tell him that your plans changed.
It's called having manners.
Whether he is a BF, friend, acquaintance, family-member, co-worker - if you MAKE plan... (read in full...)
Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 19 January 2015: I think you two are oil and water. You both do drama when being "friends", and that rarely makes for a good friendship.
Dump her as a friend. Why not? You don't OWE her anything, other then a reason why and a bye bye.
Seems like you have ou... (read in full...)
Do I deserve his crazy behavior towards me?
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend, again! I desperately want to know if my behaviour is the problem because everything always seems to end up being my fault and I have to apologise. I was seeing him for just over two years and it's been very ...
A. 19 January 2015: You know, this isn't a relationship this is almost as dysfunctional as it gets.
You CAN NOT control how others act, think or feel - but YOU CAN control HOW you let others TREAT you. CUT HIM out of your life 100% - be freaking DONE with this guy... (read in full...)
Can my girlfriend overcome her troubled past enough for me to learn to trust her again?
Q. To give a quick run down on the situation, my girlfriend of now over 6 years and I have been through some horrible times. I will preface this by apologizing for the length of this, there was a lot to say! Firstly let me give you the ru...
A. 19 January 2015: You love this girl and I find it admirable that you want to "fix" things for you, however SHE needs WAY more help then you can give.
I would continue to URGE her to seek counseling for the rape.
And IF you WANT to be with her,the GIVE her... (read in full...)
My ex of 3 years has replaced me within 6 weeks
Q. After 3 years of being with my boyfriend from age 16-19 he told me suddenly that he doesn't love me as much as he used to and ended the relationship, he said he wanted to stay friends but I said I would rather not as it would play with my emotions ...
A. 19 January 2015: Some people SEEM to move on faster then others, just because he jumped into a new relationship doesn't mean he is OVER you. It can also mean that he was detaching himself from you a while back and stayed with you while no longer being "in love" and ... (read in full...)
My b/f wants to try anal sex, but I don't think I'm comfortable with it. How common is it for people to try anal sex?
Q. I'm wondering what everyone thinks of anal sex. I'm 21 my b/f is 23 and we've been together roughly 2 years. He's the only guy I've ever been with and we have been sexually active for a few months now. He's recently told me about wanting to try a...
A. 18 January 2015: It's not your butt he wants, it's you (how do I put it nicely?) your hole in your butt.
IF you aren't sure, I'd say don't.
Don't worry about how your butt LOOKS to him - think about HOW you feel about him wanting to put his penis in your an... (read in full...)
Why couldn't we stay friends? LDR break-up. He says the trust was broken.
Q. Hi guys. I just need to understand something from an outsiders perspective. So I met a guy before Christmas online and we got on great. Only thing was he lived over 100 miles away and I did wonder if this could be a problem. However, I wen...
A. 18 January 2015: I think he made sense. And he WAS being realistic, being "friends" with someone you thought you could have more with is not really something everyone wants.
If you initially said, OH the distance doesn't mean a thing and he then opens up, then... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 18 January 2015: I agree that drinking is as damaging (if not more) to your body mind than SOME drugs are, but some drugs also lead to harder drugs as I'm sure you know.
You say you have done drugs since you were 17, so isn't it maybe time to put it away? I mean W... (read in full...)
Is there a way for the kids to be in our lives despite his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years and for the past year and a half his ex has been a complete nightmare. He has 2 children with her 7 and 3. The 7 year old has Autism. The first incident was when we met. She insisted on meeting me ...
A. 18 January 2015: As much as I tell that this all bothers you, THERE IS nothing YOU can do.
HE has to MAN up, SAVE up and get LEGAL help taking her to court.
Unfortunately MEN do not have it as easy fighting custody battles and winning. But IF they don't fight... (read in full...)
She's completely undermined my sexual confidence with her comments about her ex
Q. Let me apologize in advance for another penis post . LOL I can relate to the commentS I have read about being rejected and worrying my penis is inadequate. I am average but thick. 6" long and 6" around and she still tries to make me feel goo...
A. 17 January 2015: You know a DECENT women may COMPARE sizes but she DOESN'T tell the guy she is with that he is smaller than the last BF.
I think your GF is with you as a rebound, and she is sort of treating you as one.
If all that matters to her is a big dic... (read in full...)
I said I loved him and he broke it off
Q. I am a libra woman was with a cancer man.. and ended my relationship with a cancer man. Our relationship was very healthy sex, communication, etc... He broke it off because I told him I love him...but yet he said he was happy with me a...
A. 17 January 2015: It's not you, honey.
I'd let him go. Because if he can't HANDLE you telling him that you LOVE him, what's the point?
I would however CUT the contact 100%. And not agree to be "freinds" or FWB with this guy.... (read in full...)
Is being 22 and a virgin off putting?
Q. I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend, i've never had sex. I have given a blow job before to a guy i thought really liked me, apart from that nobody seems to be interested in me? Is being 22 and a virgin off putting? A turn off? ...
A. 17 January 2015: Not at all.
Guys aren't staying away because you are a virgin (Unless you run around with a Virgin tattoo on your forehead or a neon sign over your head. They can't tell if you are a virgin or not.
As for the lack of interest, well DO you go o... (read in full...)
Is there a way for the kids to be in our lives despite his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years and for the past year and a half his ex has been a complete nightmare. He has 2 children with her 7 and 3. The 7 year old has Autism. The first incident was when we met. She insisted on meeting me ...
A. 17 January 2015: I'm sorry your BF sounds like a whipped wimp.
She tells HIM stories about you (a woman she BARELY knows) and HE believes he and dumps you? WTH?
I know you want for him to have the kids, and be part of his family, but UNLESS he takes her to cou... (read in full...)
I said I loved him and he broke it off
Q. I am a libra woman was with a cancer man.. and ended my relationship with a cancer man. Our relationship was very healthy sex, communication, etc... He broke it off because I told him I love him...but yet he said he was happy with me a...
A. 17 January 2015: There is something else going on he hasn't told you. I think for a guy to back off after a year together, because you said I love you... doesn't compute.
My guess is he has been looking for a way out. You might have felt it was a good and healthy ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting my nineteen yr.old son to move out and get his own apartment?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have a three bedroom apt.my mom,son and I live there its roomy for us .But my son has a problem with helping with house hold chores.He works and goes to school but in between time he doesn't take trash out wash dishes or anything to ...
A. 17 January 2015: Sit him down, say HERE are the ground rules for living at home after 18.
1. you pay rent. XX $ You pay on the first of the month. Rent money goes to pay for the roof over your head, your wi-fi, food and other utilities.
2. THESE are your w... (read in full...)
How can I stop my sister's relationships from interfering with my life?
Q. Now, I may know absolutely nothing about relationships, but I have been brought to one striking question. In what way, shape, or form is the point of a relationship when all I ever hear from them is arguing and yelling every single day. Over...
A. 17 January 2015: I'd ask her to go to her room and yell at her BF.
You both still living at home? If so, there is ALWAYS the choice for you to move out on your own. You say you are financially stuck atm, and my guess is.... SO is she? My guess SHE is as frustrat... (read in full...)
She will not break up but refuses to see me again!
Q. Girlfriend will not break up, but refuses to see me again. What is the best course of action as a man? So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends." She won't bring up breaking up, but feels ob...
A. 16 January 2015: I agree with WhenCows
She can't TELL you that you CAN NOT break up, if she DOESN'T want to be in a relationship. And if YOU want a relationship, SHE isn't it.
Just tell her, IF she doesn't HAVE time for you, it's over. THAT way YOU can find som... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 16 January 2015: I think you NEED to tell her how you feel. (or the LACK of feeling you have for her).
WHY pretend?
And doing "a little drugs" during the week can turn into more, and you know it. Does it affect your work? Your relationships with family and ... (read in full...)
Perfect girl, but we are in the perfect storm.
Q. Ok so this is where it starts, I had been living in Shanghai for about 1 year at the time of meeting my current GF. She is Chinese and just 20yrs old now. I am 29. We share just about everything in common, with both dj, Im a chef, she loves to...
A. 16 January 2015: You know you could avoid all this crap by learning how to TREAT her right? IF she RETREATS to her "corner" then GIVE her the space, don't KICK her in the face with a (absolutely not) "cute" insult.
And maybe, you two aren't a GOOD fit as a couple... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: I remember you post.
I remember answering it.
I see that nothing has changed, and YOU are still there, so you MUST be getting something out of this relationship. The fact that you are still engaged and living with him makes me think that you a... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: Tell her THAT. What you just wrote. Doesn't mean she will ever trust you 100% again, but MAYBE she will better understand your motivations.
LEARN from this. Don't be some knucklehead who think is LYING is OK, or that lying is better then the trut... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants to break up due to financial problem. Does this mean he is involved with another woman?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he wants to be friends because his job lower his hours and he is having a hard time paying his bills. Do this sound like he is involved with another woman? ...
A. 16 January 2015: I definitely DO NOT think it's another woman, more like hurt ego.
I would give him the space he is asking for. BUT I would NOT become his buddy. To me that seems like he thinks he can keep you around but by removing the "relationship" he can stil... (read in full...)
Why are some people incapable of asking how you are?
Q. why are some people incapable of asking how you are? I mean friends, long term friend, any friend. A long term friend of mine never bothers to say this, I always ask after her and want to know how she is, isnt that what friends do!!? Other friends ...
A. 16 January 2015: I don't think it's rude not to ask, but I think it's a little uncommon.
SO many people ASK how are you? but don't bother listening to the answer or changes the subject. Some (I have found) in the US uses "how are you" as a greeting, not because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want his expensive birthday gift, and I can't get my money back!
Q. I got my boyfriend an pretty expensive bday gift. I got us a cabin as a weekday getaway. I planned everything including food and transportation. I wanted to surprise him and he doesn't want to go. He says he'll be hungover and he wants to go out ...
A. 16 January 2015: Go with a good friend (female) and ENJOY the week-end getaway, let him hug the porcelain throne and puke his guts out.
I would not waste that little trip or the money.
... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: That is NOT a prank, that is a mind-phuk! And so not OK.
Read YouWish's post till it sinks in.... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to forgive me for cheating with a coworker?
Q. I have been married for 2 1/2 years. 2 months ago, my wife and I welcomed our first child, a girl. Over the last 6 months, however, my wife and I have disconnected. We fought, argued, and argued while fighting consistently during this time. ...
A. 16 January 2015: You can't "MAKE" he forgive you. That is something she will have to decide if SHE can or not.
I am with YouWish, find a GOOD marriage counselor and MAKE the effort to make the marriage work.
When you say that "in your defense" you didn't have ... (read in full...)
Should I sever all ties, or stay with my pregnant girl friend?
Q. Hey all, I just wanted to get some opinions... i have been with my current girlfriend now for 7 months, I know its not long but it was amazing in the beginning and i felt like i loved her more than anyone before. She had to move back to her coun...
A. 16 January 2015: I have to ask WHY the heck did you not be more careful with birth control? As in condoms? It's only been (less) then 7 months and you are NOT thinking about the consequences for EITHER of you with this pregnancy and now abortion.
If she was depr... (read in full...)
I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance.
Q. I have recently been dating this guy from work. I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance. Here are the details: -We were friends for a year befor...
A. 16 January 2015: I wouldn't even WAIT for him to "decide".
The guy says you two can hang out... WHEN HE is available... to me that means when he is horny or bored. NOT because he WANTS to spend time with you. WHY sit around and WAIT for this guy? He isn't looking ... (read in full...)
How much planning and discussion should be done prior to moving in with a partner?
Q. Inspired by a post on here today, I was wondering what sort of things should a couple discuss before they move in? Should they just know they both want marriage and children, or should they commit to a proper date/timescale beforehand? I know ...
A. 16 January 2015: I think SOME planning is smart.
Like how to split expenses/bills and chores. Those two are BIG for me, and I know a LOT of people will talk money in a heart beat but NOT chores or expectations.
Some fall into the "expected" gender role bias... (read in full...)
How can I let my classmate down easy he is infatuated by me and I don't see the same for him?
Q. Dear cupid,I have enrolled myself back in to school for my education"diploma" im very proud of myself I am finally doing something for myself and it feels great.So there is a young guy who is 25 years old he seems to be infatuated with me that's ...
A. 15 January 2015: Yea his attitude would NOT be OK with me. That mentality that he can do whatever he wants (even AFTER he has been told to leave you be) is not a healthy one and I swear if some young punk put his PAWS on me there would be NO WAY I'd stand there and ... (read in full...)
I broke up with her then find out she's pregnant
Q. Hi iv got myself into a situation.. iv been dating my girlfriend for near 7 years now and I felt our time was up.. I then had another girl flirting with me constant at work and over Christmas I let sometin happen with her.. I felt so bad that it had ...
A. 15 January 2015: Well, even IF you ex is pregnant doesn't mean you HAVE to "martyr" yourself and stay with her. You can still be a part of your child's life (if she indeed IS pregnant and goes through with the pregnancy).
Just because something "feels so right" d... (read in full...)
I can't get myself to study, about to fail, help everyone !
Q. Hello everyone, before I start talking about my problem I would like to thank you for taking time to read this and answer me. I’m a medical student, which has always been my dream since I was 5 years old. Always being that straight A’s sma...
A. 15 January 2015: Does your school have a good student/guidance counselor? If so, go talk to him/her and get HELP in getting GOOD study habits. It's NEVER too late to start.
And guess what honey, ONLY you can pass or fail this. No one can do it for you. And IF ... (read in full...)
Was I right to break up with my jealous girlfriend?
Q. I am in desperate need for advice. I've been with my girlfriend now for 8 years, for the past 2 years its not been good on and off with arguments, breaks etc.. I moved into a house a few months ago and she wanted to move in. But because of these ...
A. 15 January 2015: You have been WITH her for 8 years and didn't think it was a good idea to LIVE together? To progress the relationship? Is that was some of the fights were over?
I mean I get it, moving in together if the relationship IS NOT going well, is NOT a go... (read in full...)
A year of living together but I don't see us moving forward. Am I wasting my time?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now, and we've been living together for about a year. We're both 28. When he asked me to move in, it followed some pretty intense conversations about our future and if he saw marriage and kids as part of ...
A. 15 January 2015: I DO think he told you what he thought you wanted to hear, to BUY him some time. ABSOLUTELY.
He said he wanted marriage and kids, and maybe he does, BUT he never gave you an idea of WHEN he might want those things, OR if he even wants them WIT... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: Stop thinking with your dick, sir.
You are a sucky friend. And if she is still interested she is a sucky wife.
Read this post from a man who's WIFE cheated on him with his brother:
http://www.dearcupid.org/... (read in full...)
How can I let my classmate down easy he is infatuated by me and I don't see the same for him?
Q. Dear cupid,I have enrolled myself back in to school for my education"diploma" im very proud of myself I am finally doing something for myself and it feels great.So there is a young guy who is 25 years old he seems to be infatuated with me that's ...
A. 15 January 2015: What BrownWolf said.
You are old enough to tell him you are not interested in him. YOU are old enough to tell him to STOP touching you.... (read in full...)
My MIL leaves me in tears and always gets away with it
Q. This question is about my mother in law. I know that lots of peoples mothers in law are a pain in the ass, but mine is something else! She has a lot of mental health issues, including bulimia and alcoholism. She gets away with preposterous comments ...
A. 15 January 2015: Dear anon,
YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID.
Let that be your mantra, when dealing with your MIL.
I get that you want your husband to defend you. I would want that too, after all it IS his mom. YOUR husband and his siblings grew up with her and her... (read in full...)
I'm devastated to find out my wife and brother had an affair!
Q. after twenty years of marriage i have just found out that my wife had an affair with my brother.this happened several years ago and had been going on for a few years.i love her so much and she says she hates herself for it.she says she's sorr...
A. 15 January 2015: Are you sure you really WANT to stay with her? I mean saying you forgive her and actually forgiving ARE two different things. It's EASY (or easier) to say you forgive something, but to actually forgive and let it go is a whole other matter. Which ... (read in full...)
I'm really embarassed to introduce my longterm boyfriend to my family, how can I deal with this situation?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, though the first 3 years were long distance as he was in the military. He has met my parents and my siblings. Well I feel really ashamed to say this but up until now I have avoided my boyfr...
A. 15 January 2015: That is kind of sweet, to be honest.
My advice? TELL your BF ahead of time. Tell him how they are, and hopefully he is a guy who can handle himself with your grandparents.
And if you really worry MAKE the FIRST visit short. Once they have m... (read in full...)
I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance.
Q. I have recently been dating this guy from work. I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance. Here are the details: -We were friends for a year befor...
A. 13 January 2015:
Have you talked to him about this? When you DO spend time together? Have you said, I want to see you more then once a week. I want more TIME with you. I want to be a priority in your life AS you ARE to me.
If you have then I'd try a different ap... (read in full...)
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