I've gone a week and a half no contact, how long should I wait before contacting her again?
Q. Hi there, I began dating a friend of mine who is 40 years old and her and I were together for 11 months. It seemed like things were serious as she moved to a townhouse closer to me so that we could see each other during the week. During the time we ...
A. 9 December 2014: If she has said:"I need more time" you NEED to respect that and give her whatever time she NEEDS. However that doesn't mean you have to sit on your hand for the next year.
I would give her a month, after that.. I'd look elsewhere for a partner.... (read in full...)
My wife wants my permission to go out and flirt with other men when it suits her
Q. My wife and I have been together for 17 years, married for 12. We're still young-ish in our 30s because we met young. We've had a great marriage overall and have a relationship that was genuingely best friends first, then it became romantic. She ...
A. 9 December 2014: I agree with SVC
There is flirting and then there are SEXUAL advances. Such as groping her butt, boobs, thigh, whatnot.
My question to you, OP, is this... Would she be OK for you to do the same?
And have you asked why this has come about?... (read in full...)
I kissed his friend years ago ..... should I tell my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months and we have a great relationship, he's 23 and I'm 22. We have not yet had sex because we want to wait a few more months as we are both virgins but this is a pretty irrelevant detail. Four years ago...
A. 9 December 2014: I don't think it's relevant to share this tidbit. Whether you were ashamed of kissing some almost random dude or not doesn't matter and it doesn't MAKE you a bad person for kissing a guy you had NO intentions of dating or getting to know. IT WAS A ... (read in full...)
Why do we need a Dr check up first?
Q. Hi everyone. I was wondering since I am a virgin and my fiancé is too should I go to the doctor for a checkup to make sure everything is okay? In other word in the up in up. Do people do that kind of thing? Or is it okay to not go to the doctor ...
A. 9 December 2014: I did go for a check up with a Gynecologist before my first time, because I wanted to be on the pill BEFORE the first time. This was while I was dating my first BF.
It's not the most comfortable thing to do, but not a dumb thing either. However ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't intend to have sex with him again
Q. I feel bad about this whole situation. I have a friend who is 11 years younger than me. I was actually friends with his older sister long time ago, but we lost touch and with him kept in touch through emails and FB. I didn't see him for 15 ye...
A. 9 December 2014: I would honestly tell him. Don't worry about it sounding harsh. But telling a guy that you have NOT interest sexually in him WHAT SO EVER is OK. JUST because you had a hot and heavy one night stand almost 20 years ago doesn't mean you OWE him ... (read in full...)
My visiting a strip club upset my girlfriend ... how do I fix this?
Q. I need help fixing things with my girlfriend. Over the last few months she has gone off sex quite a bit and we only really have it once a week just now. She's been to the doctor who said she is physically fine so it might be stress or something. ...
A. 9 December 2014: STOP trying to have sex with her. SHOW her affection in other ways.
Also your GF is kind of insecure if she thinks YOU compare her to some nameless stripper at a club. THOSE insecurities are HERS to deal with. What you CAN do is stop apologiz... (read in full...)
After five years he still won't commit to a date for marriage or children
Q. I am a 29 year old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years now. My problem is, he can't tell me when he sees us getting married or having children. Each time I have asked him, he says things like 'I don't know', 'not any time ...
A. 9 December 2014: I would sit him down and talk about your time line. When do YOU see yourself being married and having kids. Then EXPRESS to him why it bothers you that he doesn't seem to want that with you.
One thing though. My brother and sister-in-law dated fr... (read in full...)
My mother sucks the joy out of life.
Q. Limiting or completely putting a stop to spending time with toxic people is always recommended. But, what if that person is your mother? I feel sorry for my mum because she is SO insecure that she leeches the life and energy from anyone she spends ...
A. 9 December 2014: You don't live with her do you? If you do, MOVE out. FIND a way to NOT be around her.
And IF she has such a devastating effect on you, I'd say CUT her out of your life.
You mother have kicked both YOU and your younger brother out because you ... (read in full...)
Why do men persist when they know you are aleady attached?
Q. Hello all, just curious, are there guys out there who despite knowing that a lady is attached, still goes all the way out to ask her out on dates because he is interested in her? And if so, why would they do that when there are many ladies who are ...
A. 9 December 2014: Because the idea that NO means maybe or yes if you are JUST persistent enough.
Unfortunately it's not just men who has that notion in their heads. Some women are JUST as disrespectful.
These ARE the kind of people you shut down and NOT talk to.... (read in full...)
He went from being passive aggressive towards me to being very kind..is that weird?
Q. Well, a few months ago me and this guy were talking to each other and he had asked me out to dinner with him. I insisted that I would eventually go out with him, but 3 weeks later me and my ex got back together. (I never went to dinner with him ...
A. 9 December 2014: You can't understand why he got his feelings hurt? That he felt USED by you? That IGNORING YOU was the best thing for him?
Lady, you strung him along till the ex and you got back together then suddenly "to respect your relationship" you can no l... (read in full...)
I want to initiate contact!
Q. I go running at the park nearby. There is a guy who has shown interest in me multiple times. I am also somewhat attracted to him. I have never spoken to him but he must be married and in his late 30's or early 40's. I am also married and I will turn ...
A. 9 December 2014: You are married, and think he is married and you THINK it would be a GRAND idea to get some kind of interactions? For what purpose? If you are attracted to him, my guess is you are hoping for a fling? Or for some dude to give you attention?
It's ... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 9 December 2014: eyeswideopen said it....
Ask for separate checks.
It's that simple. And whomever knows her best should let her know ahead of time. It's NOT your job to pay for her lobster dinner and leftovers, if she order a $50 dinner and the rest of you ... (read in full...)
Why does my boss avoid me and give just one word answers to my questions?
Q. Can I please get some opinions on something that recently occurred. Last week we had our works Christmas party and it was a really nice evening except that I think my boss was avoiding me... Now just to give you some background - I barely s...
A. 9 December 2014: My guess is he never warmed to you, because you aren't "his cup of tea". You are an employee he just don't really feel connected to, or WANT to be social with. It happens.
I had a boss who didn't like me, because I was a little immature and full... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't back me up when someone attacked me verbally. Is he not right for me?
Q. My boyfriend and I flatted with another couple and a guy this year. We moved out of the flat a couple of weeks ago but I still have to finish collecting my stuff and do a clean. I have planned to do this in two weeks time. Our lease runs out in mid ...
A. 9 December 2014: I agree wholeheartedly with SCV.
You do not NEED a MAN to fight your battles and in this case... I think he was right. Instead of getting into a argument over the phone with this lady, let her know that you are STILL paying rent til MID January ... (read in full...)
Can you change a bad boy?
Q. Dear cupid, i just want to understand this. Is it possible to change a bad boy. Like he drinks a lot and has two kids with two different woman, he owns his own business and has lots of friend who they enjoy top life.ive seen all this on his facebook ...
A. 9 December 2014: Nope.
It's like buying a fixer upper house when you have no money and absolutely no skills to fix a thing. POINTLESS.
You don't go around changing people. PEOPLE change because THEY themselves CHOOSE to change.
WiseOwlE put it VERY ... (read in full...)
I think this is disprespectful -- am I right?
Q. Girlfriend told me that another guy has been touching her butt in school and she basically just lets him smack it! I feel so betrayed by this. Dnt I have the right? Is this not super disrespectful? ...
A. 8 December 2014: Well, it's HER but. Isn't it?
If you should have all this righteous indignation then HAVE it against the boy who smacked her ass. I BET you he didn't ASK permission but she didn't tell him off, because unfortunately SOME males still think it's THE... (read in full...)
I should leave him over his emotional affair, but it's complicated
Q. Last month I found out that my partner of twenty years was having an emotional affair. With a work colleague, twenty-four years younger. Which first began in January. She has worked at his firm for nine years and originally lived with a younger ...
A. 8 December 2014: First off, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how betrayed you feel.
I think there IS another option. Find a place close to your mom/dad which is YOUR own. Instead of moving in with either of them. I don't think that would be a good solution for you ... (read in full...)
What she told me during our breakup haunted me ...
Q. Allright not sure how to start this off, my ex and I broke up years ago and it didnt go well. She freaked out over something that turns out I didnt even do, anyway when we broke up she told me I was a freak, a monster, that she regretted ever ...
A. 8 December 2014: Cut her out of your life. Whatever she said when breaking up with you was said to deal the MAXIMUM damage to YOU, so that breaking up was easier for her, OR it was an exaggerated version of HOW she actually saw you.
Some people DO NOT understa... (read in full...)
Why am I never good enough for more than dating or them wanting sex?!?
Q. Why am I never good enough for more than dating or them wanting sex?!? They don't get the goodies, but that seems to be the only thing men want from me. I'm an attractive woman and get told this many many times by men and women alike. I'm good-...
A. 8 December 2014: There is nothing wrong with you for NOT wanting to put out till you feel things are going in the direction you WANT it to go.
My advice if these guys have all been from 1 dating site, switch to another and see what happens. If it's a "free" d... (read in full...)
My husband slept with his cousin before we married and I can't get over it!
Q. My husband slept with he's cousin before we got together. she doesn't live in the same state as us.but when she comes down we obviously run into her seens she part of the family i don't like being around her or even the thought that she slept with ...
A. 8 December 2014: Um, the cousin is a whore? Well, YOUR husband slept WITH her too, she didn't put a gun to his head to have sex. So making this ALL about how SHE is the WHORE is kind of unfair. THEY both made a piss-poor choice not only to sleep with each other, but ... (read in full...)
He's so good I wonder about his past
Q. I've been dating this guy , he's amazing and there's no doubt we have chemistry, endless amount of affection towards each other. I Just turned 20 and he's turning 25 in January. I don't see much of an age difference but at times he says certain ...
A. 8 December 2014: Yes, you need to set boundaries, but you also need to accept that HE may have other boundaries then you. So find a middle-ground you can both accept. I mean, I would find it rather disrespectful, if I was on the phone with a guy I was dating and he ... (read in full...)
I'll never be his perfect trophy wife -- I think he's settling for me
Q. Hi guys it is my first time writing on this so here goes... Ive been seeing this guy for around 6 months now and its been very rocky... our personalities clash on so many levels but we cant help but feel what we do for each other... we rece...
A. 8 December 2014: He is manipulating you into feeling insecure and competing with the ex for his affection and appreciation.
Now he may not have MEANT to do that, but whenever he bring up this FLAWLESS PERFECT ex, he is kind of telling YOU that you can't measure ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else had second thoughts about getting married?
Q. I am 20 and my fiancé is 23. We have been dating for 4 years (so since I was 16). We are both in college and about to be finishing up. We are set to get married in 6 months. However, I'm feeling doubtful. He is the most respectful, loving, caring ...
A. 8 December 2014: I think if you feel the way you do, the marriage should NOT happen. I would postpone it at least. And then figure out where you partner stands in all this.
For some what you "like" in your teens in NOT what you want in your 20's or 30's. Some out... (read in full...)
Is he an alcoholic, or just a heavy drinker? What steps should I take?
Q. I'm trying to convince my boyfriend of three years to seek help for his drinking issues, but he refuses to accept he has a problem and his family aren't helping when they tell me to back off. His father is a heavy drinker, he always has been ...
A. 7 December 2014: C. Grant gave you a great link - USE it.
MY advice STOP bailing him out. If he can't pay his bills, maybe he will see that he CAN NOT afford all this drinking and going out.
Personally, I DO agree that you are not his mother and you can not ... (read in full...)
Why wont he tell me why he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. I met a guy at the start of the year, everything was good, sex was great, enjoyed his company. After the 4th time we had sex he decided to ignore me and go back online dating. I demanded why he done this and where I stood and he apologised to me...
A. 7 December 2014: He doesn't WANT a relationship WITH you (or anyone else), NOT because there is ANYTHING wrong with you, but because he PREFERS to be single and screw whomever he likes (including you occasionally).
Of course he put in his profile that he is looki... (read in full...)
Time to open the marriage?
Q. Here's our situation: not having sex. I am about 50 lbs overweight. I have been working on losing it but it's going very slowly (I have lost 20 so far). My husband has told me I'm unattractive--yet he still wants sex with me and says he still ...
A. 7 December 2014: Opening up your marriage is not going to fix anything, quite the opposite.
YOU weight is not what has "broken" this marriage either. So in that sense it's NOT your fault the marriage is falling apart.
YOU are both not happy with each other,... (read in full...)
He's missed his chance, but I'd like to let him down gently, how do I word it?
Q. theres a guy i went on a date with hes very shy and so am i, he said he is thinking about us starting a relationship but hes taking too long (2 month) and ive now met someone else who knows what he wants how do i break it to the other guy hes ...
A. 7 December 2014: Don't ask the shy guy to be "friends". If you haven't really talked in 2 months and went on 1 (ONE) date doesn't mean you owe him squat.
Go out with guy #2, and if at some point in time guy #1 calls, you tell him that you met someone else, an... (read in full...)
A guy I liked at work is taken, but I think he knows I fancy him, should I avoid him?
Q. So I'm 21 and met this 29 year old older guy at work a few months ago. He's from a different department so didn't speak often but stupidly I really fell for him as he is quite smart. We've talked a few times as his department is meant to be doing ...
A. 7 December 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE.
Be PROFESSIONAL. YOU go to work to WORK, not to find your next BF or flirt. YOU get PAID to work, so.... STICK to that. WORKING.
You had a crush on a guy who turns out to have a GF, BIG DEAL. IF he didn't lead you on or i... (read in full...)
Mum says he is annoying me because he's trying to get my attention, is she right?
Q. there is this guy in my class who constantly teases me and tries to annoy me by touchimg my hair coz he know it annoys me. we sit near eachother in class coz the teacher put us near eachother. him and his friends make fun of me coz im english and ...
A. 7 December 2014: Yep I agree with WiseOwlE, time to talk to your parents and then a teacher. This kid will only escalate his bullying if he isn't stopped now. That is NOT just for attention to bang you about in the hall way, that IS bullying.... (read in full...)
He likes me or is it just sex?
Q. Dear cupid i have this friend who is also my crush today in class him and i were flirting laughing and having basicly a flirtationship i really want to get to higher things and hopefully us becoming a thing but when class was over he handed me a ...
A. 6 December 2014: I would ask him WHAT he meant with the not saying WHEN. IF he meant sex, well then you know how he sees you (as a piece of ass). And IF he meant sex, I'd stop flirting with him asap. If he meant going out on a date or seeing a movie (not sure what ... (read in full...)
I feel like my romantic life is constantly on a fast track to destruction.
Q. I want to start off by saying I have serious issues with self worth. Some was instigated by my family situation growing up and has been perpetuated by guys that I date. I realize that I am typically attracted to a certain kind of guy who i know is ...
A. 6 December 2014: So WORK on yourself? Instead of being so (sorry) desperate to be in a relationship, find WAYS where you can FEEL GOOD about who you are and HAPPY with and IN yourself.
If you KNOW that you tend to have sex "too early" because you fear they wou... (read in full...)
Why would my guy friend ask me what I thought of his ex?
Q. I just have a simple question I think, one of my guy friends sent me a picture of one of his ex's that he was talking to again and asked me what I thought of her? I don't know how to respond to it, I mean she's pretty. I asked why and he said just I ...
A. 6 December 2014: Maybe he wants to see if YOU are interested in him or if you are the kind of girl to talk smack about other girls.
I would just tell him that you think she is pretty, but since you don't know her there isn't much else to say.
And a word of... (read in full...)
I'm 31, moved back home and my mom is driving me crazy
Q. I'm 31 I moved out of my parents house for a little over a year to live with my ex bf. He cheated on me we broke up and I met my current bf, my lease was up so I decided to move back home. My mom has never stopped treating me the same way when I ...
A. 6 December 2014: It's kind of what can happen when ADULTS move back home. Your mom might think you aren't CAPABLE of taking care of yourself (since you need to move home at 31) which might BE why she is treating you like a teenager, not an adult.
MY advice? ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into a pic I found of my guy with a girl?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we spend as much time as possible together, we get along, have fun, cook together, chat and always kiss and cuddle, it's great. However, a few months ago I found him on various sexual websites, dating...
A. 6 December 2014: I have to agree with Ciar.
Making profiles online to get attention show his lack of respect for women as it is. THAT includes you.
I want to bet he doesn't put on his PROFILES that he is "just" looking for attention.
He is playing games w... (read in full...)
Advice please? Fiance's daughters treated me terribly while he was in jail when all I tried to do was help!
Q. I have been with my guy for 5 years. At first it was rather bumpy between he and I but as far as his grown daughters (ages 28, 29 and 30 married with multiple children of their own and all three have previous as well as children with their ...
A. 6 December 2014: That sounds like a WHOLE lot of drama that your BF put you in the middle off. And then he just backed off letting YOU getting the abuse from HIS kids.
My advice - BLOCK them, delete them, remove them from your Facebook/social website. There is... (read in full...)
Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive?
Q. Why are the men in porn so average whereas the women are usually very attractive? My SO and I watch some porn and it seems that in the vast majority the women are outstandingly attractive whereas the men are, very often, borderline ugly. This leav...
A. 6 December 2014: I think it's pretty obvious, the majority of porn is made FOR and BY men. So what has to catch the buyer's/viewer's eyes is the females.
Men can't "fake" being in the mood. So they have to use "actors" who can keep it up - where as with women po... (read in full...)
Broke up yet.... Is sending him the Christmas gift a good idea, considering that we haven't spoken since the fight?
Q. I bought this guy that i was seeing a Christmas gift a few weeks before we got into a huge fight. Things were left badly where he blamed me for things that weren't my fault, and still blames me for something that i did almost a year ago. (i wrote...
A. 6 December 2014: Nope don't send it. Walk away and keep walking. This doesn't sound like a good or healthy relationship and a gift won't change that.
Either take it back to the store and refund or find some other use for it.
... (read in full...)
Mum says he is annoying me because he's trying to get my attention, is she right?
Q. there is this guy in my class who constantly teases me and tries to annoy me by touchimg my hair coz he know it annoys me. we sit near eachother in class coz the teacher put us near eachother. him and his friends make fun of me coz im english and ...
A. 6 December 2014: Yes he wants your attention and like a 5 year old he doesn't care HOW he gets it.
However, it's also kind of disrespectful, so I would TELL him to keep his hands to himself.
And if he doesn't stop TALK to your teacher and ask to move seat.
... (read in full...)
Is it still worth it, or should I break up with her?
Q. Hey DC, Forge here, with an issue with my current girlfriend. I've had a really bumpy and rough relationship with her. Let's just call her "Jane." Well, in the beginning, when I had just met Jane, I fell for her in nothing flat, and she admitte...
A. 5 December 2014: My guess is when one of her male friends hold her hand or put their arm around her, she thinks it's non-sexual and that they don't have any expectations, where as.. with a BF he might have expectations of "more". And I think she likes the attention ... (read in full...)
Balancing parenting and dating?
Q. I'm a first time single mom. my baby is 12 weeks old. my closest friends don't have children, so it's a little more interesting now because our lives have suddenly become so different. they have the freedom to well, just be free. in no way am i ...
A. 5 December 2014: First of all, your baby is 3 months old, dating should NOT be on the forefront of your priorities. There WILL be time for that. Focus on YOU and YOUR baby.
HOWEVER, you can still socialize, just easy back into a social life slowly. Do you have fri... (read in full...)
I took my begging ex back but I don't feel good about it
Q. Hello! :) I'm a 19-year-old girl who has a 31-year-old boyfriend. We're from very different cultures and things have been bumpy recently for us. We've only been together for six months, but somehow I feel unhappy when I'm with him. I'm a helpl...
A. 5 December 2014: I have to say you should have NOT taken him back at all. You can not "make" a guy love you. And this guy? Doesn't love you the way you want a man to love you.
And Peppe is right, you do not "compete" with exes. They were them, you are you. A w... (read in full...)
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