The paternity test has confirmed that she is 100% his daughter. But he's been avoiding me. What is my next step?
Q. I was in a relationship with someone then we broke up so I started seeing a new guy. The relationship really didn't turn into anything longer or what I wanted and so the first guy and I got back together. The first guy pursued more than the se...
A. 12 January 2015: To Anon male, GIVE advice to OP's situation is more useful then dissecting other poster's answers.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't accept help and doesn't progress in life. How should I proceed?
Q. I been in a relationship for two years and I'm really struggling. We never used to have problems until now I'm getting fed up because of decisions she's made. She had teeth pain over a year ago, I took her to dentist, she missed the next appoint...
A. 11 January 2015: I think she hasn't (mentally) left her childhood behind. She is still assuming SOMEONE will take CARE of her. And that attitude won't change, unless she is "forced" to take care of herself (that means being single) and even then, she might not ... (read in full...)
The paternity test has confirmed that she is 100% his daughter. But he's been avoiding me. What is my next step?
Q. I was in a relationship with someone then we broke up so I started seeing a new guy. The relationship really didn't turn into anything longer or what I wanted and so the first guy and I got back together. The first guy pursued more than the se...
A. 11 January 2015: I agree with Auntie Bim
If you two are old enough to have unprotected sex, there is ALWAYS a chance for pregnancy. Call the guy. Like Auntie Bim suggested you can offer him to be part of the child's life. I would ALSO send him a copy (send it... (read in full...)
Men in tights: what do girls think of them?
Q. Hi! I would like to know if women find it okay to see men in tights. I wear tights to my gym as I find them comfortable and they make me feel sexy too. I'm planning to get married soon and would like to know whether generally women find it okay for ...
A. 10 January 2015: It depends. I generally don't like to see men in tights. I do remember guys at the gym wearing these and I found it awkward at times when you are trying to work out and you lay on a bench getting some shiny spandex crotch in your face -not ... (read in full...)
Why would a man be so stingy?
Q. I (25/F) and Art (30/M)recently broke up from a 1 year relationship. The problem: he barely paid for our dates, even after I told him it bothered me. He wants to get back together, but I'm unsure. Art is a smart, sensual, and charismatic man....
A. 10 January 2015: I'm an older generation than you, so I didn't deal much with guy who didn't pay on dates. It was just how it was. I went on TWO dates where on one we paid our own way (which is fine) and the other where the guy tried to pull the "Oh I forgot my ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make up for 13 years of not having sex with my ex how spicy can it get?
Q. Dear cupid ,I think I am going to get my wish seeing my ex/daughter's father I am so happy yet really nerves I haven't saw him in 13 years I haven't had sex either within these years I have been celibate.What can I do to make this a hot month for ...
A. 10 January 2015: If you two want to re-kindle a relationship, I suggest you two get to KNOW each other (not sexually) first. SPEND time together, people change. And in 13 years, they can CHANGE a lot.
And I don't mean getting to know each other through texting.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make up for 13 years of not having sex with my ex how spicy can it get?
Q. Dear cupid ,I think I am going to get my wish seeing my ex/daughter's father I am so happy yet really nerves I haven't saw him in 13 years I haven't had sex either within these years I have been celibate.What can I do to make this a hot month for ...
A. 10 January 2015: 13 years seems like a LONG time to wait for a guy. What happened that kept you two apart for that long? And what broke you up in the first place?
IS he single?
TO me it seems like you can be setting yourself up for a HUGE disappointment. ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to be in a relationship and watch porn?
Q. Is it bad to be in a relationship and watch porn? I used to love Watching porn til I met my bf. my bf feels that watching porn will only destroy our relationship and gets mad if I do watch it... But he watches it behind my back so I get upset over ...
A. 8 January 2015: Talk to him.
If he can watch porn (on his own) so can you. There should be NO double standards here.
Or even better, check out yourbrainonporn.com and try a 30 days NO PORN for both of you.
Is it BAD to watch it IN a relationship, you ask. I... (read in full...)
I want to be more than just friends with benefits
Q. And old friend and I just both ended some long/term relationship. We became both interested in eachother but niether of us are ready to enter another serious relationship. We decided to yo hangout and and possibly be friends with benefits and just ...
A. 8 January 2015: I think you did right in holding back.
Neither OF you are ready for a new relationship, but many MORE guy can still have a FWB/sexual relationship, where as MANY women gets attached through the intimacy and sex.
He has ALREADY told you, he is ... (read in full...)
He wants to tie me up to force me to orgasm!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two months, and we were eachothers first. He is great in bed, and has told me that he enjoys me as well. I have no problem getting him off, however I can not reach an orgasm. We have tried several ...
A. 8 January 2015: Tying you up is and trying to FORCE an orgasm? IS he serious?
My advice TAKE the time (on your own) to find out HOW to get yourself off. If you are afraid to pee, do it in the shower.
Once you can GET yourself off, you can show him or expl... (read in full...)
Got no response from him. Should I write back and tell him what I think about him?
Q. Hello everyone, I posted a question here not too long ago about a man who had shown me tons of interest and who gave me long gazes, and asked me to go visit him at his work place and repeatedly asked me to call him. When I wrote him an email a f...
A. 7 January 2015: I know you feel you read him right, but what you don't really know.. IS the guy. ONLY what you saw or think you saw in his actions/body language.
If you are a client of his, I will presume he is a salesman of some sort. Good salesmen are by natur... (read in full...)
She never asked why I dropped the friendship?
Q. Well I finally unfriended a girl who ran off with a guy I was into. They both had stopped speaking to me on Facebook, so because I was annoyed about the situation - I unfriended her thinking it would make me feel better. However, although I can't se...
A. 7 January 2015: All what Auntie Bim said.
And... IF she isn't even BOTHERING to ask why, she knows and doesn't care. That is not a good friend.
And yes, it's about time you accept that THEY are a better fit then he and you were. Doesn't mean you weren't "goo... (read in full...)
Why do players only want to chase and date a woman?
Q. I have never really had experience of a 'player' before as my first couple of boyfriends were quite serious. However, my latest guy I was interested in, hung around me until I told him I didn't want to get too serious and be messed about (as I kn...
A. 7 January 2015:
Players are lazy. Now that doesn't mean they won't put of a great chase for a roll in the hay, but they are like fireworks. You light them and boom they go off after that... they don't have much to offer. Why is that? Because the kind of attentio... (read in full...)
She picks and finds fault with everything I do. What should I do?
Q. Recently got engaged to my partner and we have been living together for the past 6 months. Over the course of living together I have found she is a real knit picker and i'm feeling like anything I do is never good enough, even when I do what I c...
A. 7 January 2015: I think getting engaged and married in NOT the right move for you two, not as things stand.
I have OCD. I like things JUST SO. And it is hard to see others do things (even as simple as folding a towel) if it's NOT done to my liking. I seriousl... (read in full...)
Is she being unfair? I don't want to be selfish. But is it wrong that she now wants to have a girl's weekend and squash our previously arranged vacation?
Q. i've had some major plans to do something significant with my girlfriend for quite a few months now. we were planning to go on a mini-vacation together over the weekend, go visit some places, etc. sort of a couples weekend. we made these plans...
A. 7 January 2015: I agree, I can see both sides.
But I would also try and re-arrange the couples week-end to accommodate her. Otherwise you are going to spend a week-end where she isn't really "there".
Find out TODAY what week-end will work for her, and yoursel... (read in full...)
If I date a Female to Male transsexual person does that make me bisexual?
Q. So, quick question. Whilst I support the LGBT community in being who they are, I don't know much about transgender people. I have done a little bit of reading on transgender people, so I know basic abbreviations (cis, mtf, ftm, T)...
A. 7 January 2015: As I see it, if it quack like a duck, it most likely IS a duck.
If HE sees himself as a guy,YOU see him as a guy, then for all intend and purpose HE is a guy. So no, that wouldn't make you bisexual.
You also mention that you aren't a "sexual... (read in full...)
Two years together and he's married. I don't want to be in love with him any more. How do I supress my feelings for him?
Q. This has been a bit of a problem for a while. About two and a half years ago, I fell madly in love with this guy that I know. I guess that scared me quite a bit because I'd never had such feelings for anyone before. This wouldn't be as much of a ...
A. 7 January 2015: I'd say, first step would be to CUT all contact. And I mean all contact. Even get a new number, so he CAN'T reel you back in with empty promises. Get rid of sentimental things from him. Delete pictures, texts and e-mails. No need to "hold" on to ... (read in full...)
My husband is deleting texts from his ex-wife. How can I handle this?
Q. My husband deletes texts and calls from his ex wife, even after we've had discussions about doing this, and he said he wouldn't do it anymore. Also, I've seen texts where she sends him x's and o's. At one point I even texted her myself to ask her ...
A. 7 January 2015: Ergh! Some ex-wives should just take a one way trip to Mars.
She is ENJOYING this. She likes that she is getting your husband in "trouble" with you. IGNORE the X & O. It's a game, no more. YOU can not control what she types to your husband ... (read in full...)
My boss is verbally abusive, but I really need my job
Q. My boss is verbally abusive towards me during my training/probation period. We had a conversation about me not taking my lunch break, and I wanted to know if I will be paid for it. She stated no, and I asked her if I could leave early to compensate ...
A. 7 January 2015: Start job hunting RIGHT now. YOU need A job, not THIS job.
IF this is a small firm and there is NO HR (Human resources) I'm not sure what step you can take.
My advice talk as little TO her about yourself and your private life.
She IS ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 6 January 2015: I really really hate these kind of posts.
Not because I'm a WIFE, but because, you are clearly a smart woman, but at the same time your ACTION doesn't match your obvious smart.
ANY time we have these OM/OW "woe is me" posts, it's like you SE... (read in full...)
Met a great guy. Things going well. But will it all come to nothing if we do have sex? Will he get bored?
Q. I met this great guy online, we’ve been on six dates, he kissed me on the third and came back to mine and stayed the night, nothing happened. The same happened of the fourth date again nothing happened. On date five we went to the cinema and he held ...
A. 6 January 2015: Oh, he LIKES you.
I don't think he would invite just ANY girl to his Boss' dinner party.
But I'm not quite certain he likes you in "I want you to be my GF" or my "girl-mate" kind of way. Maybe he is trying to down play how he feels a little, ... (read in full...)
Why show he was really interested in person, and now, the silent treatment? Is he playing hard to get?
Q. A guy I have known for a few months just recently let me know implicitly that he was very into me. He never said it verbally but it was all in the eyes, and the tons of questions he asked me. He gave me his business card and repeatedly asked me...
A. 6 January 2015: I agree with Abella.
Don't go chase him. You e-mailed him (which is fine) the BALL is now in his court.
And by the by, I wouldn't call not answering an e-mail for "silent treatment". It could be that he WANTS to not appear TOO interested or he... (read in full...)
My fictional creation of the perfect hot man is consuming my thoughts. How can I see past this fantasy and find a real man who I find satisfying?
Q. I'm a 25-year old virgin woman who has not had the chance to be in a relationship for a variety of reasons. As in, I haven't liked anyone who liked me back, and vice versa. However, that has rarely been a problem for me, since I'm a person wit...
A. 6 January 2015: You don't NEED to get laid.
YOU need to let go of this fantasy guy. Imagine some really icky habits and then apply them to him (in your imagination).
For some things FANTASY can get live up to reality, but for others, reality can not live up ... (read in full...)
I've had an amazing holiday opportunity but I have an emotional problem leaving home and my mum for any length of time
Q. I need some help. I've been offered and amazing opportunity to go to New York for a week with family flights and accomodation paid for, and considering I don't earn much money I may never get this chance again so I really want to go. I have figured ...
A. 6 January 2015: Take it AS an adventure.
DO it for YOU, but also for your mom. Think of all the things you can tell her about when you get back! And take it as a test to see how FAR you have come.
YOU know, they DO have phones in America. So if you MISS her ... (read in full...)
I like him but I don't understand his behaviour
Q. We slept together, after months of flirting kissing etc. Then next day we spent the day together, we went back to my place had sex again and fell asleep. He left in the morning kissed me goodbye and said he'd text me. He texted me 2 days later just ...
A. 6 January 2015: If you ARE interested and want to sort it out, CALL him up. Met up and have a SOBER chat.
His actions ARE contradictory. Hitting on you at a club while being drunk is no way showing he is interested, neither is waiting 2 days to bother calling/... (read in full...)
He is severely depressed and refuses to get help. Our relationship is unravelling. What can I do?
Q. I don't know what to do or say or cope. My long distance boyfriend of two years became severely depressed in December of 2013 due to not being able to find a job after graduating law school. He is now in business school in hopes to get a new lea...
A. 6 January 2015: The one thing you HAVE to accept is THAT you can NOT control his actions, his thoughts OR his feelings. You CAN NOT ensure he won't kill himself.
WHAT you can do, IF he threatens to kill himself contact his family or the police/ambulance 911 (if ... (read in full...)
I'll stay out of my daughter's life if that's what's best for her, but is it?
Q. Hi all I am a dead beat dad. I admit it. Due to suffering cronic depression, I have spent almost no time with my daughter. Truthfully I dont know her all that well. She is now turned 16 and is a strong confident young woman. Mid 2014, I f...
A. 6 January 2015: I don't know how long you were gone, but maybe LET her know that it's UP to her. Let her know she can always contact you.
It might be JUST a bit overwhelming for her to have you so full on into her life all of a sudden and my guess is, she is w... (read in full...)
I won't be fooled again
Q. I have a problem Im not sure how bad it is. My boyfriend of about 9 months has been so wonderful to me. He compliments me all the time, he caters to me when we are together and he showers me with gifts. So what's the problem right? Well I ...
A. 6 January 2015: If he is your age group I would NOT accept the "I don't know why I did it" excuse. HE is a grown ass man and KNOWS exactly why he did it. And if he can't explain it, you can't be certain he won't do it again. Only from now on he will be FAR more ... (read in full...)
Missed oppurtunity with my dream girl
Q. Good day all Before I begin here is some background. I have been dating the same girl for 8 years since 2006. We started going out in 11th grade. When we went to university I studied engineering and she studied law. I finished my degree and she f...
A. 6 January 2015: Well, I think (hindsight is always annoying, but here it is) you should have broken up with your GF a long time ago.
YOU had no problems developing feeling for someone else and in a way distancing yourself from the GF, but NOT giving her up, not ... (read in full...)
He is severely depressed and refuses to get help. Our relationship is unravelling. What can I do?
Q. I don't know what to do or say or cope. My long distance boyfriend of two years became severely depressed in December of 2013 due to not being able to find a job after graduating law school. He is now in business school in hopes to get a new lea...
A. 6 January 2015: You have to accept that you CAN NOT fix this for him. YOU have TRIED to support him, TRIED to get him to seek help, but HE actually HAS to WANT to get help and SEEK it for it to even BEGIN to work.
Right now he is dragging you down with him. He ... (read in full...)
Hurt by snide comments. Been losing my cool lately over the slightest things. What should I do?
Q. Hello all, I need some advice I have been losing my cool lately over the slightest things. I live with my boyfriend and his family at his parents home. his parents are alcoholics and argue and yell often and the house is almost always a mess....
A. 6 January 2015: So why live there?
... (read in full...)
Does it mean he does not love me if he says he'll not put up a fight if I leave him?
Q. If you tell your boyfriend you will leave him and he does not put up a fight does this mean he does not truly LOVE you or care for you enough? My BF says he would not stop me if I decided to leave him as he is not a fighter and if leaving him is w...
A. 6 January 2015: Putting up a fight OR not putting u pa fight is not about love. That is like the people who equate constant fighting and arguments as passion, IT'S not.
If you are WITH someone and THEY want to leave and NOT be with you, why fight? WHY make it ... (read in full...)
She wants more than friendship, was I right to ask him to remove her from facebook?
Q. My boyfriend dated this woman before me, they ended things about a year ago (he says they just dated, and were not in a relationship). In summer, when he first got to know me, she came around asking him to try things again with her, and he told her ...
A. 5 January 2015: Normally, I would say that it's NOT a GF/BF's job to dictate WHOM they partner can talk to. be friends with, but in this case I think you BF actually LIKES the idea of this girl WANTING him so bad and that EGO stroke is why he hasn't removed her ... (read in full...)
I don't like the idea of masturbating and have never had an orgasm - help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now but I still haven't orgasmed during sex (at least I don't think I have...) He is my first boyfriend and before being with him I was a virgin. After speaking to most of my girlfriends, they all go ...
A. 5 January 2015: I would suggest you "do it yourself" first. And IF you figure out to get yourself off this way, it's up to you if you WANT to share that with your BF.
You say you don't like the idea of masturbation. You think it's shameful? You don't like tou... (read in full...)
How do I confront my friend about his potential feelings towards me? And his actions while drunk?
Q. For the past 3 years I've been in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend who i've known for six years. I have a friend, lets call him *A* (to keep anonymity) who actually shares the same friend group that both my partner and I have. I...
A. 5 January 2015: Should you confront him?
I would WITHOUT doubt tell him how he treated your BF, and I would also stress that THAT is not OK. If he can't BEHAVE decently towards your BF, he needs to stay away.
Is it because he likes you? Maybe. Maybe he is just... (read in full...)
How does one get a guy to realise what he's lost? I want him feel the pain he has caused me.
Q. been friends with this guy for years but he's shown a lack of value and respect towards me, because everytime I send goodbye messages ... then a few days will pass and we will talk again. How do I get him to start taking me seriously? How to be ...
A. 5 January 2015: Well, if all he has to do is turn around and ignore you for a few days when you give your little "goodbye" speech, and you two are back to square one, HOW will he EVER know what he would miss if you weren't there for him?
BLOCK him, IGNORE h... (read in full...)
She's blamed me for her sexting, flirting and flashing on webchat. Is this classed as cheating? Can I trust her?
Q. i have been with my fiancee for almost 4 years now and we are actively planning our wedding. she has confessed to me that she has been flirting with her ex on text, flirting with other guys on web chat and has also been flashing on webchat....
A. 5 January 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
Getting married is NOT the right thing to do for you two, not as things stand. And yes, she IS cheating. She is seeking attention and sexual gratification (even if it's "only" from guys LOOKING at her, but neverthe... (read in full...)
Why could I barely feel this man during sex?
Q. Hello. When i had sex, man on top, i could barely feel his penis. I am not loose down there as when i insert a finger inside my vagina, i can orgasm and feel my vaginal walls. I never had this pblm with my other partners. I also need deep and fast ...
A. 4 January 2015: If you were VERY wet and he wasn't fully erect, then yes you would feel a LOT less.
I'd suggest you two use condoms though. It can help create more friction for you.
Also, if you are NOT getting ANYTHING out of that position, then change posi... (read in full...)
Lesbian cousins on a blood vow... halp!
Q. So im a lesbian and i happen to be in love with my lesbian cousin. Our relationship is going fine, and neither of our parents are homophobic, but we're wondering how they will react to incest. where i live incest has certain rules: sisters or direct ...
A. 4 January 2015: You are fine, she is fine. chill.
You do not have each other's blood flowing in your veins other then the "kind" of shared blood you have GENETICALLY because you are related.
You don't have to tell your parents that you made a little blood pac... (read in full...)
Am I coping out if I leave him?
Q. Hi all, So I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and we live together. When I first knew him he was smoking but he quit because he knew I didn't like it. He said he always wanted to quit. So he hasn't smoked the whole time we have been togeth...
A. 4 January 2015: One thing, you need to accept that you CAN NOT control other, only yourself.
So if he would have LIKED to smoke a cigar, then HE would have liked to smoke REGARDLESS of what YOU think if smoking. HE has his OWN opinions, wishes and dreams, ... (read in full...)
Should I Have A Huge 21st Birthday?
Q. I'm turning 21 soon but I'd rather just go out for dinner with my friends than throw a massive house party or go out clubbing (I usually go out clubbing) Do most people have a huge 21st? I did a big 18th but obviously in this country I've bee...
A. 4 January 2015: So GO out and have dinner with friends!
There are no rules SET in stones of HOW you must spend your 16/18/21 and so forth Birthday, it's ALL UP TO YOU!
I spend my 21st with my BF in London for a long week-end. It was splendid! And when I got h... (read in full...)
My b/f is unemployed and we had a fight over me spending money. How do I make things right?
Q. i'll try to make this short: my boyfriend and I have been together for little over a year. Everything's perfect. However, he's broke and unemployed and that means I take the financial burden. We both live with our parents, as we're in our 20s...
A. 4 January 2015: STOP bailing him out financially. YOU DO NOT owe him to pay his way. He may NOT be unemployed by his own design, but it wasn't YOUR "fault" either.
YOUR saving are YOURS. YOU need to keep them intact. Don't spend them on stuff (like HIS expenses... (read in full...)
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