I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance.
Q. I have recently been dating this guy from work. I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance. Here are the details: -We were friends for a year befor...
A. 16 January 2015: I wouldn't even WAIT for him to "decide".
The guy says you two can hang out... WHEN HE is available... to me that means when he is horny or bored. NOT because he WANTS to spend time with you. WHY sit around and WAIT for this guy? He isn't looking ... (read in full...)
I'm really embarassed to introduce my longterm boyfriend to my family, how can I deal with this situation?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, though the first 3 years were long distance as he was in the military. He has met my parents and my siblings. Well I feel really ashamed to say this but up until now I have avoided my boyfr...
A. 15 January 2015: That is kind of sweet, to be honest.
My advice? TELL your BF ahead of time. Tell him how they are, and hopefully he is a guy who can handle himself with your grandparents.
And if you really worry MAKE the FIRST visit short. Once they have m... (read in full...)
My boy friend lied about liking big breasts and now I feel self conscious about my small chest
Q. Hello, this might be a bit redundant as there are some similar questions on this site. Anyway, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything's great. However, I recently found out he's lied about his physical preferences. ...
A. 15 January 2015: Big boobs is not be-all or end-all thing for most men. I've have always had "smaller" boobs (except when I was nursing) and it's never bothered me that I wasn't big boobed - though certain clothes look better on a curvier woman, other clothes ... (read in full...)
Is it weird for my husband to lay on his little sister'a lap and stroke her face?
Q. Is it just me, or am I normal in thinking that it is very wrong for my husband who is 27 years old to lie on a sofa with his head in his 10 year old sisters lap and start stroking her face because I personally find it weird. My friends also said it ...
A. 15 January 2015: I don't see anything inappropriate in what you mention.
My older brother used to braid my hair (he was real good at french braids and herringbone braids.) and I guess it was good practice as he ended up having two daughters.... (read in full...)
How do I approach the delicate situation of having messy siblings they don't care about how they live?
Q. Hello. Thank you for reading my post. All advice and opinions are welcome. To attempt to keep this short as possible, I will jump to my point. I come from a very messy family. Growing up, I manage to maintain my sense of cleanliness and have alw...
A. 14 January 2015: How they live in their OWN homes it their "problem" or choice. When staying with you, YOU need to set rules and boundaries. If they can't stick to those, then they can't STAY with you. AND that is fine! They are all ADULTS now and just because YOU ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend proposed me a threesome. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend (I'm 23 and she's 20) have been together for over two years. We're serious, Things are wonderful between us two, we really love each other, and we're living together since a couple of weeks ago. The other day we were talking ...
A. 14 January 2015: A fantasy like that can SOUND great and LOOK great IN your imagination, in reality it rarely live up to the hype.
If you have doubts, don't do it. Role play instead with each other.... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 13 January 2015: To Anon & OP,
Yes, like Midnight mentioned, YOU are not asexual. For you sex IS important. For OP sex IS important, he isn't asexual either.
Just because his GF doesn't like sex, doesn't MAKE her asexual. That is a WHOLE other kettle of fish. ... (read in full...)
Should I be paying towards his mortgage or not?
Q. Hey all So ive been with my boyfriend over 3 years and weve finally agreed its time to move in together. We have our wedding planned for 2016 and it just feels like now is the right time. He owns his own house and i rent a flat so it makes sense f...
A. 13 January 2015: I have to say, if you are not spending MORE money living together I think it's fair enough to share, specially since you two plan to buy something together in 6 months time, the money you BOTH put into the current place gives equity toward the new ... (read in full...)
Do I give it, and him, another chance?
Q. Hi everyone! ... I've found myself to be in a bit of a predicament and I'm hoping someone can help me out. This is going to be a long one but I'll try and shorten it as much as I'm able .... Okay, I'm a 27 year old woman. I was with my ex part...
A. 13 January 2015: I'd NOT go back with the ex. Good for him to have made changes, but that wasn't JUST for you, I BET you. It was for himself as well.
If you DO go back, you WILL end up in the same place at one point. You just CAN'T fake sexual attraction. IF you a... (read in full...)
Two weeks in of texting and phone calls!
Q. Just out of curiosity Guys I have been talking to a girl over the phone and online for two weeks. After around day 4 I start getting messages saying "So have u thought abt me much" at least three to four times a day. I'm just wondering is this s...
A. 13 January 2015: Yes, I'd say that is a red flag.
For me at least, I would say you got a NEEDY Nancy or Attention-seeking Anne on your hands.
Unless all your text and subject matter are about the weather or car-tires.
I have to ask, because I am curious. Ho... (read in full...)
I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance.
Q. I have recently been dating this guy from work. I know he isn't treating me the best right how, but I need some input to understand whether I should give up or give it another chance. Here are the details: -We were friends for a year befor...
A. 13 January 2015:
Have you talked to him about this? When you DO spend time together? Have you said, I want to see you more then once a week. I want more TIME with you. I want to be a priority in your life AS you ARE to me.
If you have then I'd try a different ap... (read in full...)
Nine years dating and still no marriage!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 years now, he is 42 years old and I am 27. We have been discussing the issue of marriage for quite a long time now. He was married before and has two boys from his previous marriage. One is 21 and the ...
A. 13 January 2015: Don't play the regret or I wish I had.. game, with yourself now.
Those 9 years, I'm sure, brought you joy and taught you something about yourself, about relationships and life in general.
You are just ready for more now. You GREW up.
27 ... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 13 January 2015: Female Anon,
I have to disagree.
You can be asexual and have an intimate relationship with ONE person, it IS a relationship. If they BOTH feel the same way about sex, then obviously it isn't as important to them as other aspects are. Doe... (read in full...)
Should I be paying towards his mortgage or not?
Q. Hey all So ive been with my boyfriend over 3 years and weve finally agreed its time to move in together. We have our wedding planned for 2016 and it just feels like now is the right time. He owns his own house and i rent a flat so it makes sense f...
A. 13 January 2015: How much are you paying now to live alone? Will it cost you more to move in with him and "share" bills?
You two are however committed to marry next year, so where I would normally say do not share, I will say, help pay (though I still don't th... (read in full...)
Are most people judgmental?
Q. I expected that people in the working world etc. would be more mature but they aren't. A lot of adults are so petty (both genders) and gossip about/say stupid things like "that client looks old" or "that co-worker is weird" or "Spanish people ...
A. 13 January 2015: Unfortunately you will find judgmental and immature people of ALL ages and EVERYWHERE.
What you might want to learn, is to NOT stoop to gossip yourself and stick to the people who are more "mature" and positive. And.... grow a thicker skin.
... (read in full...)
Are their behaviors suspect?
Q. This married guy is commenting more and more. And liking more and more of a female acquaintance's ingram profile. He likes other female profile pics. But with this female, they are basically having back n forth conversation about each other's photo ...
A. 13 January 2015: Then I suggest you stay out of it. This is your family members marriage and her business.
... (read in full...)
Wife wants me to sleep with another girl?
Q. The other day my wife and me were having an argument about me being extra comfortable with other girls. I'm just friendly and never over friendly with them but she feels otherwise. During this argument she tells me that 'she would really like me to ...
A. 13 January 2015: No she didn't mean it. Don't be daft!
It's HER way of telling you she is having enough of your "friendliness" with other women. IT's her way of telling you that it HURTS her when you DO what you do. YOU have a wife at home. why NOT love her? Why... (read in full...)
Nine years dating and still no marriage!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 years now, he is 42 years old and I am 27. We have been discussing the issue of marriage for quite a long time now. He was married before and has two boys from his previous marriage. One is 21 and the ...
A. 13 January 2015: I don't think he was lying when he told you he NEVER wanted to marry or have more kids. I think THAT is how he felt, and how he still FEELS.
For a guy like that there will ALWAYS be something or other (partly because of his age) that needs to... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 13 January 2015: Has she EVER enjoyed sex? - not talking oral, not everyone likes that, but in general? Or has she "complied" with sex because that is what people in a relationship does?
I know women who had lousy sex and stayed with the guy, because he had othe... (read in full...)
Should I send him the present?
Q. Hi there, I've been seeing this guy on and off for a just over a year. I let myself fall for him, knowing he was self medicating, and things are just getting worse for him. I'm just so annoyed with myself at the moment, as recently again, we got t...
A. 13 January 2015: First off, I sorry you can't seem to get off this emotional roller-coaster, but if anyone can stop it, it IS you.
Second of all, he didn't get you the present for you. It was his "upper hand" move. He gave you a present, so you would feel GRATITUD... (read in full...)
Are their behaviors suspect?
Q. This married guy is commenting more and more. And liking more and more of a female acquaintance's ingram profile. He likes other female profile pics. But with this female, they are basically having back n forth conversation about each other's photo ...
A. 13 January 2015: I agree, why is this your business? You the wife or the morality police?
If you are the wife, why not ask your husband? If you are neither the woman, nor the wife - I don't see why this is your concern.... (read in full...)
He's great except that he can't follow through in the bedroom
Q. I've started seeing someone that I like a lot. he is a little older than me, I'm 38 and he is 47. For the most part things are going well. We communicate easily, laugh a lot together. the kissing and cuddling are great. we do have a problem ...
A. 13 January 2015: My guess is his T-level has started dropping. It's NOT you per se. It might be a combination of being USED to a "firm hand" and you not being as tight a grip on his penis as his hand. It can also be the position you two use. Does he stay hard if you ... (read in full...)
How does this happen? Normally cautious. So why did I open up to her, trust her, and share things with her soon after meeting her?
Q. Hi I was wondering that sometimes we just click with people and regardless of how less we know them and how less we spent time with them, we start to share the secrets we never want anyone in the world to know. It's not that you are careless...
A. 13 January 2015: I think at times we find it easier to talk to an ALMOST stranger, rather then someone who we know well and who "thinks" they know us.
If this girl is a good listener and seems non-judgmental too, all the easier.
Keeping things all bottled up i... (read in full...)
When is it OK to have sex with your ex?
Q. When is it ok to have sex with your ex? I (25/f) dumped my ex (30/m) 6 weeks ago. He' s recently offered me a plane ticket to see him to catch up, check in on each other, and have a last time go in bed. Initially we were both excited, as I'd already ...
A. 13 January 2015: You know it's not a great idea. 6 weeks? You are not over him. It will take you a lot longer then that.
I think considering his PAST actions of NOT wanting to PAY or share to pay, has prompted him to PAY for your ticket, because when you DO get t... (read in full...)
Have the tingling of I new outbreak. Could I have infected him due to oral sex we had last night?
Q. Ok I woke up this morning with the familiar tingling pulse of a cold sore. I've always gotten cold sores but much less frequently as an adult. My boyfriend has never ever had one. Any way my predicament is that I performed oral sex on my boyfri...
A. 13 January 2015: I will second that.
CALL your doctor and ask. BETTER safe, than sorry.... (read in full...)
Do you think I might have hurt his feelings? I think of his as my FWB
Q. Dear Cupid, I am currently in a "relationship" with this guy named X. We must be FWB's because we've agreed that we aren't calling each other bf/gf. My question could be complicated for some, mostly because I don't know how to ask it. But I was...
A. 13 January 2015: Don't compare him to exes. I know that is easier said then done, but it's really unfair of you holding back because OTHERS have hurt you in the past. That is not really HIS fault is it?
Go slow.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Being... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I've never had sex?
Q. So I've been on a few dates with a woman and we seem to be really clicking. I'm thinking we'll have sex sometime soon. There is one thing gnawing at me though. Should I tell her I'm a virgin? The thing is I'm 35 years old and suffered from ...
A. 13 January 2015: Some women will be excited to hear that. It means you don't have a lot of preconceived notion of how AWESOME you are in bed, and that YOU will possibly TRY harder to please her then a guy with loads of experience will (because HE will rely on PAST ... (read in full...)
I unfriended his new Gf. Should I call him and question why my ex suddenly blocked me? We were on speaking terms.
Q. Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was ...
A. 13 January 2015: What Auntie Bim said.
LET IT GO. He isn't into you and don't want NEED your "friendship".
YOU were holding on to this "friendship" in hopes he would change his mind. Those two people DESERVE each other. LET it go.
Get OFF Facebook, go ... (read in full...)
Went on a date with my online friend, but received mixed messages. Did I offend him?
Q. Dear all. Your views would be welcome. Thanks. I went on an online date on saturday night. I had been talking on the phone to this guy for over a week. He was polite, and interesting. Anyway, we hit it off on the date, but after about 30 minutes h...
A. 13 January 2015: I think you did the right thing in asking him to keep his hands to himself and NOT wanting to take him home at the end of the night.
The fact that he SUGGESTED several times to end up at your place, makes me think he was HOPING for sex. I said hop... (read in full...)
Stay renting where I am? Or move in with him? Do I pay him rent when he's the one buying the apartment?
Q. My boyfriend plans to buy an apartment, and asked me if I would like to move in with him when he's bought one. I have suggested we rent together instead, but he's very keen on buying his own place and not rent. He can not afford a big place, so it ...
A. 13 January 2015: I agree with YouWish as well.
I don't think it's unfair that you fair half the utilities, and maybe even part of the "rent" (mortgage) but HALF? You don't even GET to OWN anything if you two don't work out. IT is HIS. If he can't AFFORD to buy t... (read in full...)
How can I discover the truth? Is he not interested, or is he just having time-out?
Q. Hi I just started dating someone new. Before meeting, we were in touch for 10 days quite intensively by text/ SMS. Couldn't meet up sooner as he was away. Then we met up and had a nice first date as far as I was aware (we were intimate, yes a...
A. 12 January 2015: I wouldn't worry about what to say if/when you meet him. Just treat him like an acquaintance. Wave hi, but not try and start a conversation. IF he asks or suggest another date, tell him:" thanks, but I think you and are not looking for the same ... (read in full...)
How can I discover the truth? Is he not interested, or is he just having time-out?
Q. Hi I just started dating someone new. Before meeting, we were in touch for 10 days quite intensively by text/ SMS. Couldn't meet up sooner as he was away. Then we met up and had a nice first date as far as I was aware (we were intimate, yes a...
A. 12 January 2015: Honestly, I'd let this one go. He has already shown you TWICE at least, that he isn't interested in a relationship. Why do I say that? Because he will disappear and "forget" or ignore you for days and then only getting back into the flirtation when ... (read in full...)
The paternity test has confirmed that she is 100% his daughter. But he's been avoiding me. What is my next step?
Q. I was in a relationship with someone then we broke up so I started seeing a new guy. The relationship really didn't turn into anything longer or what I wanted and so the first guy and I got back together. The first guy pursued more than the se...
A. 12 January 2015: To Anon male, GIVE advice to OP's situation is more useful then dissecting other poster's answers.
... (read in full...)
He says I leave him stressed and sad!
Q. Of late my boyfriend have been complaining that i am a bitter person and i carry so much negativity around him that i do not make him happy anymore.He says that when i see him i leave him stressed and sad.What should i do to change that i do not ...
A. 12 January 2015: Are you bitter? Are you negative? Do you stress him?
If the answer is yes,
What are the reasons for that? Are they underlying issues you NEED to deal with?
You need to consider wanting to change, NOT for a man, but for yourself. Being... (read in full...)
Tit for tat in the bedroom?
Q. Can someone tell me whats going on? Met this wonderful guy, weve been on 7 dates and for the previous three hes stayed over at my place, shared a bed and just kissed, he only tried it on once but i was on my period. He came over for dinner last ...
A. 12 January 2015: Well he has said how he "works, why don't you tell him how YOU work? That you don't think tit for tat is a good thing when it comes to sex (or whatever else).
Find a compromise. LEARN to talk about things like this. If you think you are ready an... (read in full...)
He reeled me in and reeled me out!
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles I met this guy last year, we became friends and then i began to like him more than a friend. A few months later we kissed and we ended up sleeping together in the same bed but it went no further than that. He wit...
A. 12 January 2015: I would just tell him, look I like you but I'm not interested in dating a yo-yo. If you are interested GIVE me a chance, if not, leave me alone.
And then YOU stop sleeping with him and absolutely no sex.
Decide how LONG you are willing to give ... (read in full...)
Is this normal or would people assume he is sleeping with her?
Q. There is a guy that i'm involved with who has been friends with this girl for a few years (has known her longer than i) that is apparently visiting and staying at his place (she lives in another state). They have worked at events across the country ...
A. 12 January 2015: No matter her personality, or whether YOU think he finds her attractive, they obviously have something going on. It's hard to say if this is just a really good friendship or more. I would presume more.
He doesn't WANT to be "saddled" with a GF - y... (read in full...)
How do I get over this irrational fear?
Q. Please help me with this irrational workplace fear!? I have accrued a lot of vacation time at work (3-5wks) and my boss says I must take it in the next 6-7 months,(I have no choice in the matter, pressure is being out on her from management ...
A. 12 January 2015: If those are your fears don't take off for long periods of time, take a week here and week there.
Make plans for home improvements (like painting some walls or sewing curtains) or whatever hobbies you may have and ENJOY sleeping in a few days.
... (read in full...)
Just found out my long term boyfriend texts a woman from work... and also gives her a lift to work in the morning! should I be ok with this?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. He is very loyal and sensitive... In fact I have never known him to really text other women, even though he is a very friendly person. He is very trustworthy, I honestly don't think he would cheat ...
A. 12 January 2015: I don't think it's a big deal. My husband picked up (from time to time) male and/or female co-workers - he even once picked up a female co-worker's son from daycare and babysat him, when she had an medical emergency and her regular babysitter ... (read in full...)
He's always ditching family things
Q. Been with my bf for five years, broke up three times within that time...he's 14 years older and now, we're trying again. My little sister (10) is the most important person in my life, he knows this. Lately, he's complained we never spend time etc so ...
A. 12 January 2015: I think you are wasting your time with this guy. If all he wants is to spend time with you alone, and not ever with your family he either doesn't like then, feels uncomfortable around them or simply don't care enough.
My guess is he said he went ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend wants to take me out
Q. Hi, My ex boyfriend and I dated for one year, we never had any fights and truly loved each other. Before we started dating I told him that for our relationship to work, he ll need to convert to my religion. He promised he d try to learn more and...
A. 12 January 2015: IF you can BE friends with him, good. But you already know him converting ISN'T an option, which rules him out (for you) as a future partner. So.. with that in mind do you really think it's a good idea to hang on to this "friendship" thing with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't accept help and doesn't progress in life. How should I proceed?
Q. I been in a relationship for two years and I'm really struggling. We never used to have problems until now I'm getting fed up because of decisions she's made. She had teeth pain over a year ago, I took her to dentist, she missed the next appoint...
A. 11 January 2015: I think she hasn't (mentally) left her childhood behind. She is still assuming SOMEONE will take CARE of her. And that attitude won't change, unless she is "forced" to take care of herself (that means being single) and even then, she might not ... (read in full...)
The paternity test has confirmed that she is 100% his daughter. But he's been avoiding me. What is my next step?
Q. I was in a relationship with someone then we broke up so I started seeing a new guy. The relationship really didn't turn into anything longer or what I wanted and so the first guy and I got back together. The first guy pursued more than the se...
A. 11 January 2015: I agree with Auntie Bim
If you two are old enough to have unprotected sex, there is ALWAYS a chance for pregnancy. Call the guy. Like Auntie Bim suggested you can offer him to be part of the child's life. I would ALSO send him a copy (send it... (read in full...)
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