Should I follow my instincts and just walk away before it's too late, or tell my G/f up front that her lack of interest/effort is becoming a cause for concern?
Q. Hello all. Just wondering what people's thoughts were on this situation: My g/f and I have been together for just over a year. We live about 25miles apart, and we usually see each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. The...
A. 26 November 2014: Well, at least IF you bring it up, you will know where you stand? And it will be "easier" to walk away, knowing you TRIED? She will HAVE to react one way or another. And then YOU can decide what your next move is.
If that makes sense.
I'm a l... (read in full...)
Why did my ex contact me all of a sudden when he's still with his girlfriend? He knows I hate him and we are in two different countries
Q. My ex and I were together for 4 years, including 1 year long distance. He dumped me 1.5 years ago. I've contacted him a few times and told him how terrible I felt. He's got a new girlfriend 3 months after we broke up. I was desperate. I've said bad ...
A. 25 November 2014: Who knows? But why waste time wondering? I mean who cares, right?
You don't want to get back together and you claim to hate him, so why not just ignore it?
That's what I would do.... (read in full...)
I don't care about what he's done to me but he cant just abandon our child!
Q. Looking for some guidance on what to do here!! I have posted here before about this waster of a man I've spent the last 4 yrs with and I got some great advice. Just to quickly give u some back ground.. i'm 26. I've been with a man 14 years my seni...
A. 25 November 2014: STOP wasting ANY more time on him. It's that simple.
FOCUS on your baby and your health. Once the baby is born file for child maintenance and be thankful he wants nothing to do with you or the baby. THAT way you don't have to watch your child be... (read in full...)
Should I follow my instincts and just walk away before it's too late, or tell my G/f up front that her lack of interest/effort is becoming a cause for concern?
Q. Hello all. Just wondering what people's thoughts were on this situation: My g/f and I have been together for just over a year. We live about 25miles apart, and we usually see each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. The...
A. 25 November 2014: IF you can SEE yourself with her long term, I'd say talk about it and figure out what's up with her. IF she claims there is nothing wrong and this is who she is, then maybe.. consider she isn't for you.
My question to you though... Have you kept... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate to ask a guy to take an STD and HIV test before we date?
Q. Dear Cupid, I haven't dated in a long time but I decided if I should date again would I be wrong to bring up front about taking STD and HIV test.My health is in great condition and I want the same for the new guy.Thanks ...
A. 25 November 2014: I agree, no not before you start to date. I would say before you sleep together.
He isn't a dog from the pound whom you needed vetted in order to date... is he?
I understand not wanting to date someone with STD's, and I think it's a MUST to g... (read in full...)
How can I improve my social life and my chances of dating? What are your thoughts on the man I have been texting? Just found out he's married.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a successful career lady but my social life sucks. I have never had a boyfriend or sex mainly because I always meet rejections (maybe because I am physically disabled thus, less attractive). I do not believe in FWBs but a decent r...
A. 25 November 2014: If you are looking for a relationship, this guy ISN'T it. Yes, he should have told you that he is married. Instead he lead you on. He even made plans for visiting? And he would have to "sleep over"? Don't you see that is not a good idea?
Now h... (read in full...)
I don't want him to feel he can disrespect me
Q. Me and the guy I'm seeing were having a phone conversation. I'd be feeling a little down because he's not very affectionate and generally i feel like he takes me for granted. While I was speaking on this I could hear him watching a girl's snapchat ...
A. 24 November 2014:
Don't contact him and if he contact you back, just tell him it's not working out.
HE is looking at SNAPCHATS with another person while on the phone with you, you know what that means? IT mean you are NOT a priority to him, he doesn't resp... (read in full...)
I Like A Hipster Guy But He's Often Negative - Is He Not Worth It?
Q. I like a hipster guy I know right now, but, though he's cute, I'm not sure if I should ask him out or not. We share many interests, which is good, and he's really keen about some of them too, but sometimes he sees so ironic and cynical I can't ...
A. 24 November 2014: Good grief, he sounds like he is NOT a good match for you. Some people like that, others don't.
You barely know him but you have already seen through him and found things you don't like. That doesn't sound like a girl who is interested in the guy.... (read in full...)
Could his girlfriend have deleted my message?
Q. ok so i sent my ex boyfriend a text message on a! iphone 5 asking if our little girl has been ok because she wasnt feeling the best! he also has a iphone and told me he never received the text and showed me a screenshot to prove it! cant remember if ...
A. 24 November 2014: I agree with SVC
Texting is not for important stuff like your child's health. The thing is, when you didn't hear back, why not simply call?
If she deleted what can you do? What can he do? I know she is the "new" GF but I can't imagine a girl b... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated -- what do I do?
Q. First, thank you so much for reading this, I really will appreciate any advice! This happened a couple of weeks ago. My boyfriend (of about 10 months) told me the morning after it happened. He and his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and ...
A. 24 November 2014: I am of the belief that cheating is an absolute deal-breaker, but here is a case where I, like YouWish, can see why you gave him a second chance.
However, you are STILL feeling the betrayal. Which is why I think it's so hard for you to let go. ... (read in full...)
How can I manage being the good stepmother despite the poison his ex pours into their childrens' heads!
Q. Hi everyone Hope you can give me some advice on my situation..bear with me though as it's quite a long one! I am due to be married next year, my fiancé is a good man, we have been together 3 years etc. he has 2 kids from a previous relationshi...
A. 24 November 2014: Don't go through with the marriage til this is sorted. This is NO way to start a marriage. You Fiance knows how much this hurts you YET, what is he doing to fix it?
And even if it makes you feel "mean" STOP catering to these kids to the extend t... (read in full...)
Confused, but better than most!
Q. I have been married for 8 year and have known my wife for 10. I have a near photographic memory and remember many things that people tell me. 10 years ago I contracted an STD from my wife. She found out she had it from a medical checkup. No big ...
A. 24 November 2014:
Dude look up Retroactive Jealousy. Uncle Yoos have posted some good info on it here on DC.
You are being upset over something NO ONE can change, not you, not your wife NO ONE.
Depending on WHAT kind of STD she had, it could have been the f... (read in full...)
I need to end this unstable relationship without anybody getting hurt physically?
Q. Hey, so I'm having a big issue here in my relationship. I've been dating this guy for almost 3 months, and I'm starting to think that things are not going to get better. I met this guy on a dating website, right after my boyfriend and I of 11 months ...
A. 23 November 2014: Call him and break up, DO NOT do it in person. Tell him you don't feel a "spark" when you are together (I would NOT tell him he actually scares and FREAKS you out) - that you have thought about ending it for a while. Wish him well, then CUT the ... (read in full...)
Why do women cheat?
Q. I don't mean to sound sexist or come off as judgemental I'm just really curious as to why married women cheat? I mean I can understand why men cheat, they produce sperm like every freakin day of their life so of course they're gonna wanna let ...
A. 22 November 2014: I actually forgot the most important factor...
Men and Women cheat because they MAKE a choice to do so.
Just like those who stay monogamous CHOOSES to stay monogamous.
Gender really doesn't matter when it comes to cheating. It's a choice.... (read in full...)
I hesitate to get involved with him when his ex is still in the picture
Q. Hi, quick question. I've been talking to a guy I met for quite a while he's so nice we haven't been out on a date yet he keeps saying we will. The thing is he's still so involved with his ex, I'm not sure if I want to get involved in a me...
A. 22 November 2014: Oh, don't just back away, run, girl.
He is NOT single - he is two-timing the both of you. And the worst part, you already know this. You don't go away on a week-end with your EX gf is you are "courting" another girl.. Come on, use some common s... (read in full...)
Decode this Text PLEASE!
Q. What does this mean Help! I text him after a couple of days of no communication. I asked him how he was and he wrote back "Super Busy" I text back "ok and he responded back fast by saying "Please don't read into this I am super busy" seeing him for ...
A. 22 November 2014: It means he is BUSY - might be a "I can't talk right now" - I think he knows you better then you know yourself, because he made SURE to SPEND the time telling you not to read more into it.
Yet, here we are.
I would just let him know to CALL you... (read in full...)
'Tears' in my foreskin?
Q. hi, quite recently i have noticed 3-4 vertical 'tears' on the topside of my penis right on the tip of my foreskin, it is now painful to retract my foreskin obviously i cant have sex or masturbate... i am very hygienic and shower every day and i am ...
A. 22 November 2014: Go see your doctor. Best thing you can do for you, and your penis.... (read in full...)
My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title
Q. My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...
A. 21 November 2014: Let her stew. Don't contact her, I think SHE needs to be the one reaching out to you and yes, apologizing.
She might however feel slighted. If you had offered her a Matron of honor, (she is married, right?) she might not have been as upset, b... (read in full...)
He wants to take care of me and finance my education, but ...
Q. i seriously need help. im a 16 year old and a married man of over 40 years has been chasing me for sometime now, ar first i turned hi down but later on we became friends and got talking. he promises to take care of me and finance my studies, he is ...
A. 21 November 2014: You are 16 years old. This OLD dude wants to BUY you, like a piece of meat in the store. He is DANGLING the "I will pay for your education" in front of you to make his offer more enticing. My guess is he KNOWS you are a girl with a conscience who ... (read in full...)
Do we let this go, not being invited to fiance's grand child's 1st birthday?
Q. My fiancé's daughter had their first child and it's my fiancé's first grand child. My fiancé is divorced. His daughter is close to her mother and her in-laws. I was not invited to the baby shower that the daughter's grandma (her mother's mother)...
A. 21 November 2014: I would just send a lovely present and card, that way she knows you both are thinking of her and the baby.
Hopefully at some point in time the daughter will realize that the stories her mom told about her Dad aren't all true.
One of my bes... (read in full...)
Is it something I did or is he no longer interested?
Q. I have recently started something with a guy I have known for many years now. I'm 21 and he is 23. Although we have always been on friendly terms and I frequently run into him at social functions, I've rarely spent time with him one on one. This ...
A. 21 November 2014: I think he had a crush on you when you were dating Mark and that it was a bit of a "notch in the bedpost" for him, when you two first hooked up.
He doesn't WANT a relationship with you, and I think while sex might be great he feels guilty (... (read in full...)
Is my daughter having a second affair?
Q. I am concerned about my daughter, I will give you some background information she has a child with her former friends dad who was married at the time. I don't need to say why they are no longer friends. This is all came out when the baby was born. I ...
A. 21 November 2014: I don't blame you for being disappointed. She has already shown that she makes "bad" moral choices. Like making a child with a FRIEND'S dad, who also happened to be married. I can't say I wouldn't be UTTERLY disappointed if any of my daughters did ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to bring it up calmly and not make it sound like I'm attacking my boyfriend's erectile issues
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for several months now, and he's very sweet and caring and loving. But we have not had sex yet, like the real deal start to finish. He has a problem getting and keeping it up, a problem that he's already seeking professi...
A. 21 November 2014: I'd honestly suggest next time you two try to have sex, that you give him head a bit first, it might help him stay hard.
Is he being treated for low T-levels?
I do agree that it's not OK to just PUMP/HUMP you to try and stay hard. I wouldn't... (read in full...)
Why do women cheat?
Q. I don't mean to sound sexist or come off as judgemental I'm just really curious as to why married women cheat? I mean I can understand why men cheat, they produce sperm like every freakin day of their life so of course they're gonna wanna let ...
A. 21 November 2014: My guess? Now speaking PURELY biological (like you did with the men and their sperm).
Because putting ALL your eggs in one basket isn't a sure bet. And there will always BE a smarter/stronger/better provider male out there.
WOMEN are as SEXU... (read in full...)
I take my job seriously; my supervisor doesn't.
Q. Hey, Just looking for some advice on relationships in the workplace please :-).... basically, i work for a small family owned company which consists of a couple of stores in our local area. The owners are often in and work very hard..... I'v wo...
A. 21 November 2014: Stop doing her job.
It's not of course as simply to DO as it is to say. If you are NOT in charge of how people behave, then DO NOT reprimand them. DO your job and let the supervisor SEE just what happens when she doesn't DO hers.
You have brou... (read in full...)
She has my number, but doesn't text or anything, so what does that mean?
Q. I'm confused about a girl at work. I've had a crush on her for a while, and told her that one evening when we were both working back late, alone. She went quiet for a little while and I thought that I'd made her hate me, but then she told me that ...
A. 21 November 2014: Ah, I missed the gender of the OP (I'm sorry)
The BALL is on her court. She knows you are interested, she has the means to contact you.
If she doesn't seem to want to text or call you outside work, I would presume she really isn't interes... (read in full...)
My wife treats and speaks to me as though I am incompetent!
Q. My wife of 1 1/2 years treats and speaks to me as though I am incompetent and unable to make the "right" decision. I am almost 62 years old and have managed to take of matters just fine all this time. My wife has a different and more stressful ...
A. 21 November 2014: I'd let her start doing it. I did that with my husband. He didn't like that I paid half the bills first of the month and the other half middle of the month (half the boss were due around the first and half in the middle/end of the month). He wanted ... (read in full...)
I'm shattered, horrified,torn apart because my daughter just told me she's a bisexual
Q. Hi, I'm shattered, torn apart. I can't seem to function. Just caught my daughter kissing a girl. Horrified, livid. I can't seem to accept my 16 yr old daughter telling me she is bisexual. I'm still 2 days later so angry wth her, calling her so ...
A. 21 November 2014: They say 1 in 3 people are NOT straight. Which means they are either gay, asexual or bisexual.
I agree with SVC - LOVE your child no matter what.
SO she likes BOTH girls and boys? So what?
I have a gay stepson. I have a couple of gay fri... (read in full...)
She has my number, but doesn't text or anything, so what does that mean?
Q. I'm confused about a girl at work. I've had a crush on her for a while, and told her that one evening when we were both working back late, alone. She went quiet for a little while and I thought that I'd made her hate me, but then she told me that ...
A. 20 November 2014: If she brought up past GF's I think it was a HUGE hint that she is mainly into girls. She might find you a SAFE guy to flirt with and she was fine with it until you gave her your number. That might have felt to her that you now assumed she wanted ... (read in full...)
Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby
Q. I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...
A. 20 November 2014: People aren't being ANTI you and PRO ex bf.
We are ALL just trying to make you SEE that there are 2 sides to this coin. And you REFUSE to see his. Maybe because you had hoped for a little redemption?
YES, it was a BIG mistake to not tell him,... (read in full...)
What makes a woman attractive to a man?
Q. hi everyone , what is it that makes a female attractive to a male i dont mean their looks i mean like confidence but what happens if you dont have any what can help make you be more confident and other things like do they like someone funny serious ...
A. 20 November 2014: I think that totally depends on the guy AND the girl.
There isn't a SET formula for attraction.
Here is a list from AskMen Magazine:
http://www.askmen.com... (read in full...)
My husband and his family are pressuring me to visit them in Kurdistan!
Q. My husband is currently in kurdistan, iraq. We are supposed to be meeting up in turkey in a couple of weeks. Now he is pestering me to go to kurdistan as his family want to meet me. I dont wish to go there because of the situation in iraq. Kurdistan ...
A. 20 November 2014: Just stick to visiting in Turkey.
Your HUSBAND, should RESPECT your feelings on this. If you have already told him you do NOT feel it's safe enough to go visit, he should stop pushing for it.
Though not wanting to go because you "won't like ... (read in full...)
Is a guy reacting to a girl ignoring him a sign of interest?
Q. When a guy pays more attention to a girl when she ignores him, or doesn't give him as much attention or leaves the area, does that mean he likes her? If the guy seems to be aware of how she feels and seems to react if she's sad, mad or happy, is...
A. 20 November 2014: It's hard to say. Depends on the women and the man.
Could BE he is just a emphatically person. could be he likes her in a "friendly" way or that he REALLY likes her.
But here is my thing, If she seems uninterested and he keeps at it, it can co... (read in full...)
Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby
Q. I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...
A. 20 November 2014: Consider this.
What IF, your ex showed up out of the blue and told you he had AIDS, and you needed to go test.
Not that I'm comparing your baby with AIDS, but they are BOTH humongous LIFE changing experiences. Specially if you are both in your... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend not attracted to me anymore? Am I not good enough? Is he seeing someone that looks better than me?
Q. Ok so when me and my boyfriend met i was 15 pounds lighter, Iam still not overweight and look average for a 28 year old woman but i feel there is something missing and i can't figure out what it is. He used to be so into me and our sex life was ...
A. 20 November 2014: I could be your attitude that's a turn off, not your body. YOU may not have noticed it yourself but you might have become more clingy or needy? And that screams of insecurities.
If you WANT to lose weight for YOU, go for it - but BE consiste... (read in full...)
Why hasn't she told her guy friend she has a boyfriend?
Q. My girlfriend has a guy friend that she has known for two years and they used to like each other she has not told him that she has a boyfriend and she wants to hang out with him alone and won't introduce me or tell him that she has a boyfriend. I ...
A. 20 November 2014: First, I'm curious as to how long you and your GF have been together? (not that it's super important for my answer, just call me Curious George).
Secondly, like most of the females who have answered your questions, I think she is keeping THAT (th... (read in full...)
Is he scared to get close or not interested?
Q. Seeing someone I can't read. It's frustrating. He got jealous when he heard a guy was interested in me and kept bringing it up. Then all of sudden he started to mention a girl that he saw was hot. He acts like he doesn't like me other times then ...
A. 20 November 2014: He sounds really immature, to be honest.
Where did he HEAR that there was another guy interested in you? Did YOU bring it up? If so, why? To keep him on the edge of the seat? Or to try and get him to "choose" you?
I mean if he constantly bring... (read in full...)
Fear and lack of experience keep me from getting to know girls
Q. At age12, I began having trouble with girls and over the next couple of years I feel like I lost every female friend I had, including one who I'd known from age 5. That is a very long story but I attribute what happened there with my first ...
A. 20 November 2014: I hope you, as a person, have grown from the kid you were at 12 this the young adult you are now. NO ONE is born knowing exactly how to act and be. It's a trial and error thing. Some are better with social situations then others, but with practice ... (read in full...)
How do I put my foot down so he knows his behavior won't be tolerated anymore?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years (except a 4 month break) and I'm to the point that I'm not happy. I feel lonely and neglected. I broke up with him 5 months ago because he'd started neglecting me, wouldn't contact me and made ...
A. 20 November 2014: He wants you back, I think for the same reason you want him back. Familiarity. IF you two have spend 5 years together, you BOTH presume there is SOMETHING in there to build on for the future.
But if YOU think you have to DUMP him in order to MAKE ... (read in full...)
Would telling him I'm going on a date with someone get his attention?
Q. theres a guy i like and would love it if he asked me out but i need to get his attention first. we are friends he said he liked me before but didnt do anything about it we do fun friend flirting that doesnt mean anything asfar as i know ,im too ...
A. 19 November 2014: Lying to a person to try and make them interested or jealous will without doubt backfire, it's NOT cute to "naughty lie" - a lie is a lie.
Instead why not ASK if he wants to join your friend and yourself on that outing? That is not asking him on a... (read in full...)
Is he horrible or mentally ill?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for two years and it was great for 6 months but then something horrible happened to me and I became extremely depressed. My partner helped me through that although at times it was awful, I didn't know if it was all my ...
A. 19 November 2014: I think it's a combo of both being a piece of crap human being and somewhat mentally ill.
I don't think mental illness is an excuse for this kind of abusive behavior and if I were you, I would soundly block him from my life.
If you feel t... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 18 November 2014: The guy think he can "sweet talk" you into complying with his wishes (and that is for you to continue to be his F-buddy).
He tried to sound all smart and "mysterious" in hopes to hook you, AT LEAST til his GF decides what SHE wants. It makes yo... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: I fully agree with YouWish's advice.
Ultimatums should be to YOURSELF not him. Having a crush on a guy doesn't mean he OWES you fidelity or anything else.
My guess is he enjoyed KNOWING that you "pined" after him, but he wasn't over his ex, you... (read in full...)
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