My FWB partner didn't seem right so I stopped the sex but then she was angry! Didn't I do the right thing?
Q. Hey guys, I am utterly shocked at the moment and need someone to help me clarify what happened. I have been in a friends with benefits relationship with another woman (both girls) for a few months now. Things have been amazing!! Sex was intensel...
A. 20 January 2016: Give her a little space and time.
Then ask her to met up and have a talk (sober). I do agree that she might have deeper feelings for you then she let on. And that maybe you two need to DTR.
(Define the Relationship) to sort out what's really up... (read in full...)
I think my mother is with someone who is going to use her but I can't talk to her and know I am losing the relationship with my mom
Q. Dear Cupid, My father passed away a couple of years ago from dementia. My mother started having an affair with a married man when he was ill (5 years ago). He was working for my parents at the time. She is 75. The relationship has developed...
A. 19 January 2016: I would just stop trying to interfere in her person relationships. She is OLD enough to know what she is doing, and while I "get" that you want to protect her... she needs to live her life as SHE sees fit, not as YOU see fit.
If she ASKS you what... (read in full...)
I realize things are over but am afraid to break up with unstable girlfriend
Q. so, i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years, i am now 17 and realise that our relationship is going nowhere. We have absolutely nothing in common and i don't enjoy talking to her any more. I feel that if I break up with ...
A. 19 January 2016: The best thing you can do is be honest with her. And gentle.
Don't drag it out, don't do the "let's be friends" - end it, and like Denizen said, listen to her.
Some relationships work, some don't, this one? it has run it's course.
... (read in full...)
Should I be expected to do everything at the home because I don't work?
Q. So I live with my boyfriend in a small town, and since we are currently in a recession I don't have a job. I stay at home and make sure the animals are fed, cook meals, do laundry, ect. When he comes home supper is ready, we eat and he games out for ...
A. 19 January 2016: No, you are not the automatic house elf, because you don't bring home the bacon. NOR are you his mom who runs around AFTER him picking up his trash and crap. But you being the one in charge of the house makes sense as you ARE the one at home.
... (read in full...)
A day hasn't gone by that I am not obsessed with his ex
Q. This is a very strange problem. I've been with my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 2.5 years and life is perfect.... Except I'm obsessed with his ex which I have been since day 1. To start with I recognised it was due to their 4 year relationship ending 3 ...
A. 19 January 2016: I agree with Capri2
This sounds VERY much like RJ ( retroactive jealousy) which IS common (more so for men, than women) and most people will find your actions unreasonable and quite frankly, ridiculous (because they are). BUT for someone ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that every time my boyfriend goes out he comes home completely drunk?
Q. Is it normal when my partner goes out with friends, he comes home pissed drunk? My boyfriend does not hang out a lot with his friends, probably once a month, or once every one and a half months. But when he does, he always gets drunk or tipsy. ...
A. 19 January 2016: The UK (as much of Europe) have a drinking culture - in UK it's called "Pub culture". Where socializing revolves around going out and drinking, and getting drunk. And that's considered a good week-end!
So I would say once a month may BE within t... (read in full...)
Fiancé keeps nude and masturbation photos of previous ex's
Q. I feel silly and embarrassed for bringing this up, but it's been bothering me all day. My fiancé and I have been together for over 3 years and we are getting married in 6 months. For the most part, we have a good relationship, but an insecurity that ...
A. 19 January 2016: I would ask him if he was OK with you having videos of MALE friends and maybe an ex or two whacking off - for you to keep and use when masturbating. See what he says.
And I would tell him, that THIS is non-negotiable. NO dirty picture of exes or ... (read in full...)
Online guy has me confused. I think he wants me to pursue him even though he gives nothing back
Q. Hi again all, the online dating drama continues! So I've been messaging a man online for a couple of weeks and he seemed really nice. He told me upfront he's looking for a relationship, as am I, but his actions since then have me confused and ...
A. 19 January 2016: I find it odd that HE keeps asking if HE is wasting his time, when in fact... HE is wasting yours.
I'd text him and wish him luck, that you feel like someone who has put SO little effort into meeting and conversing with you is NOT what you are ... (read in full...)
How can I ever recover from this broken marriage?
Q. Dear Cupid Members, My husband has left me for someone else and I am really struggling. My question is will I ever get over this, honestly? Or will it affect me long term. This happened a few months ago. I have two young children and I am ...
A. 19 January 2016: Hi OP,
Thanks for the update.
It will take time to get your head AND your heart around to the fact that what you THOUGHT you had, you didn't really have. And that, was a good husband.
You may not love like you loved him again. Each time is ... (read in full...)
My FWB partner didn't seem right so I stopped the sex but then she was angry! Didn't I do the right thing?
Q. Hey guys, I am utterly shocked at the moment and need someone to help me clarify what happened. I have been in a friends with benefits relationship with another woman (both girls) for a few months now. Things have been amazing!! Sex was intensel...
A. 19 January 2016: She was drunk. She was angry over something else, YOU just happened to be there and being the verbal punching bag. Trying to have a sane or even reasonable conversation with someone THAT drunk is not going to happen.
I think you ABSOLUTE... (read in full...)
Can we be friends or am I fooling myself?
Q. Please explain what is going on here: This guy and I had been friends for a while. One day he said he found me attractive and I said that I had hots for him too. We ended up having sex for a few months, hanging out, texting, calling, etc. One day h...
A. 19 January 2016: For me (and all I can do it guess) I don't see him having serious feelings for you.
HE declared that he was crazy about you and you told him good, cause you liked him back and then boom... he stop talking to you.
In my humble opinion, IF he w... (read in full...)
Using the word "love" in greeting, birthday, or holiday cards.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm curious what women think about this question. Now that the holidays are over Ive gone through all my Christmas cards again as I usually do before I put them away for the year. I keep every card I receive because if someone took ...
A. 19 January 2016: I use love, hugs & kisses quite liberally in cards. But only in cards that are "signed" with the entire family. The thing is, I don't send cards to people I don't particularly like. Unless I GET a card from someone I'm not close with and those I ... (read in full...)
I don't want to offend my in-laws but why do they just show up and not call first???
Q. Can anyone tell me why people would repeatedly call in unannounced, after so many failed visits (turning up when no one is home)? My inlaws love visiting us, at least once every two days. They live half an hour away and where we live isn't on th...
A. 19 January 2016: Why not have your husband ask them/talk to them?
I would just have him explain that you love to see them, but YOU both prefer to know WHEN they are going to show up so you can have tea ready and hopefully be home.
I think it's partly a generat... (read in full...)
He Named His Song After Me But We Never Dated, Is This Normal?
Q. I was flirting with this guy whos a bit older (in his late 20s). We met recently and stuff moved really fast. We were about to start dating but TBH he was starting to be a dick so when he asked me out I said no (nicely) and when he pressed me I ...
A. 19 January 2016: I think someone told him (more than once) that musicians score easily with the ladies, no matter what. So he is trying this obnoxious attitude (which might be who he is or might be the "persona" he wants people to think he is) and was expecting you ... (read in full...)
Was my boss stepping over the boundaries?
Q. The other day my boss joked that he wanted to delete his diary because he was fed up with meetings. Then he asked me if I had ever thought about doing something I shouldn't do. I made a joke and said no never because I am a saint. Then...
A. 18 January 2016: Is he married?
Sounds like he wants to get in your pants and keep it a secret.
And I think, for a boss he is being rather inappropriate.
Set some boundaries, dear. It's a place of work.... (read in full...)
She wants everything. Should I walk?
Q. Been going out with a woman, for a month, she tells me if I want to continue to see her, I have to buy her gifts, cards, flowers, and take her out two times a week. Do I walk away? She said she will give me two days to make up my mind. I sure know ...
A. 18 January 2016: I'm with Garbo.
You have from ALL the post (all 3? ) seemed that there was something not quite "right" with her - so why continue?
As for her saying :" I want gifts, cards, flowers, and to take her out two times a week."
Means SHE WANTS... (read in full...)
I'm really not sure that I want my "best friend" to be my maid of honour! She really hasn't been much of a friend the last several years
Q. My mum and her best friend from school had a child in the same year (me and my best friend) so we was always together and obviously over the years became best friends we went to same schools did everything together blah blah.. Im getting married ...
A. 18 January 2016: Well, while I don't think it should have been done over message/text - I think you handled it well. She on the other hand didn't.
And you know what? Your problem is solved!~ You can now pick someone who actually WANTS to do the HONOR of being a ... (read in full...)
At what point do I worry about what my husband is doing on facebook?
Q. Hello this is my first time posting in this website, I enjoy reading all the responses and questions which come up in the site. I guess now it's my turn. :) I will try to keep a long story short. I am 29 years old and my husband is 37. We have b...
A. 18 January 2016: Your husband sounds like self centered cad. He BLOCKED you? why exactly?
It seems like what HE wants is more important that how it makes you feel. So I guess you need to reevaluate what you REALLY get out of this marriage?
You don't spend time... (read in full...)
do my feelings indicate actual gender identity issues?
Q. Hi, I ticked male as my gender because there was no option to ignore and it said gender not sex, however I appear female and was born with female sex organs. So, basically I am "female" and refer to myself as a girl in most contexts, but deep dow...
A. 18 January 2016: I don't see it as being an issue. You are what is called gender fluid. Though that in itself can be a bit confusing.
Definition:
Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may a... (read in full...)
I love this man but I don't trust him!
Q. Ok, so I posted on here not to long ago but I seem to be having a problem... A few months ago, back in september, around my fiance and i's anniversary, I caught him online talking to other women, calling them beautiful, making sexual remarks and ...
A. 18 January 2016:
Kick him out and find a room-mate! Preferably female.
He is taking full advantage of you and I think you know it. And engagement or even marriage won't change the fact that me is cheating on you, maybe not physically, but emotionally.... (read in full...)
Can we be friends or am I fooling myself?
Q. Please explain what is going on here: This guy and I had been friends for a while. One day he said he found me attractive and I said that I had hots for him too. We ended up having sex for a few months, hanging out, texting, calling, etc. One day h...
A. 18 January 2016: I think the most likely scenario is that he is hoping for some NSA sex (I won't call it FWB as you really aren't friends). The kind where he can call you up when he wants some and you will drop your panties after a few sweet words.
I think yo... (read in full...)
I'm really not sure that I want my "best friend" to be my maid of honour! She really hasn't been much of a friend the last several years
Q. My mum and her best friend from school had a child in the same year (me and my best friend) so we was always together and obviously over the years became best friends we went to same schools did everything together blah blah.. Im getting married ...
A. 17 January 2016: YOU (as the bride) gets to decide who your MOH is. You don't OWE her that "jib" if you have another friend whom you like better, is closer with and KNOW you can rely on for the MOH work (and there is a lot of work involved being a MOH) then PICK ... (read in full...)
He's married but he still calls me
Q. I was seeing this guy for about 2 years to come to find out his married the horrible part is he met me two weeks after he got married and I didn't find out until my co-worker noticed him on Facebook which I don't have a account but how can a man ...
A. 17 January 2016: Block him, delete his number and let it go.
You can't fix his shoddy morals but you CAN stop him from trying to USE you.... (read in full...)
How can I ever recover from this broken marriage?
Q. Dear Cupid Members, My husband has left me for someone else and I am really struggling. My question is will I ever get over this, honestly? Or will it affect me long term. This happened a few months ago. I have two young children and I am ...
A. 17 January 2016: You will get over it, IF that is what you want. But you might have to accept that it's not instantaneous, it's a process that takes times.
Right now though, you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps for your kids sake. You moping about wa... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 17 January 2016: Uncle Serpico
I think there is BIG difference from a sexual past to a LEGAL past. And having been married 3 times but only mentioning 1 marriage to your spouse... is suspicious. If the annulments were no big deal, why not tell your wife or fianc... (read in full...)
Why not? I always make sure he's satisfied, so why doesn't he satisfy me?
Q. Dear cupid. This is a bit of an awkward one, me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years now in the begining we used to always have sex and he used to go down on me. However now im lucky if it even happens on my birthday! ive tried talking to...
A. 17 January 2016: I can't improve on YouWish's advice.. READ hers and follow through.
... (read in full...)
How long do I wait to contact boyfriend after argument? Its been 4 days......
Q. We've been together 5 1/2 years and I confronted my boyfriend about something he disrespected me about. It was actually a comment he posted on another girls picture on Facebook. Good ol social media causing problems but he apologized and deleted the ...
A. 17 January 2016: The whole silent treatment that you BOTH use is childish if you ask me.
What he did was wrong, and he is OLD enough to know so. He corrected it, apologized and expected you to accept that and move on. YOU wanted to chastise him but NOT talking ... (read in full...)
She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 17 January 2016: I'm sorry OP, I will be totally straight with you and not mince words, because you are not thinking straight here or thinking at all.
Smoking WITH her to keep her happy is RIDICULOUS. She had 4 cigarettes, she is NOT addicted to the cigarett... (read in full...)
Why would my co-worker encourage me to go to night out with everyone and then ignore me the whole night?
Q. I'm left slightly confused over something.... I've been in my current job for 5 months. Now the other week our manager arranged for us all to go bowling and then for a bite to eat at the weekend. I was unsure if I could make it but the lady who...
A. 17 January 2016: I too agree with WiseOwlE
I think she invited you and then EXPECTED that you would WANT to get to know the other co-workers and socialize on your own, without her having to hold your hand. A night out like that would have been a perfect way for ... (read in full...)
I want to stop. How should I stop going after someone who ignores me like this?
Q. Dear Cupid I am dating someone for past 3 weeks, earlier he seemed to be ok, wanted to talk to me all the time, we connected well. Had sex previous week and after that he is ignoring me, my calls, when I ask says he is busy over work, and today...
A. 17 January 2016: 2 weeks in might have been WAY to early to determine if he was only looking for sex or wanted more, so next time you date a guy... GET to know him, take your time, make it more like 3-5 months of dating before sex.
NOT that I blame you or anything... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 17 January 2016: For about $20 you can look up your husbands prior records, that includes his marriages. I'd say those $20 are well spend if HE doesn't want to tell you to whom he was married and why they marriages were annulled.
Depending on the state he lives in... (read in full...)
Why is this woman in my BF's fitness class suddenly jealous of me?
Q. My BF is a group fitness instructor. I take his classes. I am not sure if is paranoia but why all of a sudden - within the last month or so - does this woman in who also takes his class seem very jealous of me and competitive around me? Sh...
A. 16 January 2016: I'd ignore it. Just keep being polite and civil towards her. Whatever chip she has on her shoulder is HER issue.
Or you can ask her ( not during class though) what's up with the attitude. It really depends on what kind of person you are.... (read in full...)
I've just come out as a lesbian and am not sure how to go about dating
Q. I am a lesbian and I have just come out. I'm trying to find someone but I don't know how. There is multiple parts you this question: A) Is it okay to flirt and get someones number when they are working? For example if you meet somebody in their j...
A. 16 January 2016: I would perhaps look into joining a local LGBT group and talk to others who are in a similar situation.
Is is OK to ask (for instance a server/waitress) for her number you ask, well I find that a little hard (no matter if you are a man or a woman)... (read in full...)
Should I reveal all to the wife of my ex? My Bf will leave me if I fail to tell her
Q. Hi, I recently started dating an amazing guy, everything has been great and we are thinking about getting married. While talking about our pasts he found out that up until the day I met him I was still friends with an ex boyfriend. The...
A. 16 January 2016: Let me be very direct with you here.
You think by hurting the wife and telling the wife you can save your own relationship? DO I read this right?
Because you don't really give a crap about that wife, not now and certainly not back then when y... (read in full...)
Red Flags? Or am I over-thinking this or being paranoid? She only wants to text
Q. Red flags,or me being paranoid, well been seeing someone for a month, now, gone on dates every week, but she only wants to text, no talking on the phone. Tried to go see her at her place, you know for a movie, she only wants to go to the bars an ...
A. 16 January 2016: Well, I guess you didn't take the advice given in your last question...
But I suppose that it moot now.
If she ONLY wants to be wined and dined, then maybe you two don't share much in common. Or maybe see sees you more as entertainment, t... (read in full...)
She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 16 January 2016: I'd break up now.
It IS her choice to smoke or not smoke, but it IS your choice to not want to date a smoker.
Considering the two VERY lovely people David Bowie and Alan Rickman just lost their battle with cancer (both smokers) I can not unders... (read in full...)
Are people really ever not looking for a relationship?
Q. Dear All Firstly, thanks for reading this. I was just wondering, partly inspired by past experiences but also mostly just out of curiosity. Do you think people are ever really just "Not looking for a relationship"? I'm the type of ...
A. 15 January 2016: Yes, I think some are not.
I know after I had a very messed up relationship where awful things happened, I wasn't ready to date for a LONG time after. And I even MET a couple of guy who were decent fellas and who (who knows?) might have been goo... (read in full...)
I lied to my dying friend and told him that I loved him. Now he's gone and I feel sick
Q. I slept with my friend because he was dying and because I felt guilty for leading him on. Each time after having sex he would cry and hug me and profess his love for me. He had a crush on me for years. During his last days I lied to him that I loved ...
A. 15 January 2016: I too think you did a kind kind act. You didn't say it to get his stuff or make yourself look better, but to make his last moment happy. And that you did.
If you don't feel like you deserve the car and his stuff, give it to his family. Don't te... (read in full...)
Why won't online disappearing boyfriend block me?
Q. I met this guy through a site about over a year ago. After our first exchange of a few messages, he disappeared. Then after a few months he appeared again then disappeared. He appeared again but this time messaged properly and wanted to get to. ...
A. 15 January 2016: Who demand that HE blocks you? JUST block him!
You are not going to get any closure for a guy like that. One who probably was talking to multiple girls and serious with NONE.
Block his ass and move on. THAT... is your closure. That is you sayi... (read in full...)
Will having a pet interfere with my dating life?
Q. Hi all, this is not a relationship question as such but any advice would be appreciated. I have been single for just over a year now and living on my own for around 6 months. I have absolutely always wanted a dog or a cat (or even a rabbit), ...
A. 15 January 2016: I say start with an aquarium. I know, I know you can't pet the fishes, but it CAN be very soothing to watch and not too difficult to take care of.
Personally, I wouldn't worry about dating life when it comes to a pet, BUT I think you are smart in... (read in full...)
What's a reasonable degree of involvement with your in-laws?
Q. I'd like to have opinions from the Dc community about what's a reasonable / sustainable degree of involvement with your in laws. ( I have my own opinion, and I am also pretty sanguine about it- but, although I hate to admit it :) I can't al...
A. 15 January 2016: Maybe also mention that when they in a couple of years have kids, wouldn't SHE want the family to fuss over HER baby too?
And yes, the hubby is a wuss. It's not like he has to be "confrontational" with his mother when he says, we are off to Livig... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex
Q. My current boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex and it disturbs him immensely because initially when we got together when my boyfriend asked about my ex i said he was nice and I have good memories with him and don't want to say anything bad!this ...
A. 14 January 2016: I would point out that the ex is part of your past, you and him didn't work end of story, and that you are DONE discussing him.
If he doesn't STOP bringing him up, ASK him why this is such an important issue for him. LET him put words to it. And ... (read in full...)
What's a reasonable degree of involvement with your in-laws?
Q. I'd like to have opinions from the Dc community about what's a reasonable / sustainable degree of involvement with your in laws. ( I have my own opinion, and I am also pretty sanguine about it- but, although I hate to admit it :) I can't al...
A. 13 January 2016: I may not be the best to give advice on this one. I'm, a terrible DIL, SIL and aunt. I admit it.
BUT... here is what I'd do.
I'get a 52 week calendar. Plot in all the FAVORITE holidays and add all the 10 birthdays. And look at the calendar. Ho... (read in full...)
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