Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 5 November 2020: Thank you for the update!
I'm so glad that you found the RIGHT guy for you, and are now happy.... (read in full...)
We had one date, thought it went great, but does it seem like she's blowing me off now?
Q. So I met this girl at a friends party two weeks ago. We talked for about an hour and I got her number. I asked her out via text, and she said she'd like to but couldn't that week because of a trip, but said she'd be up for it the following week. ...
A. 2 October 2016: I would block her number. Someone who rather "ghost" you and then when she has no "better" prospects comes back to you... IS NOT into you.
Consider this.... she is a flake with issues, so you dodged a bullet.
On to the next. No more wasting tim... (read in full...)
How long can a person pretend to be someone else to make another person happy?
Q. I'm worried about a friend of mine and was wondering if anyone has an advice. He dated this woman for over a year. They fought a lot, he cheated on her, etc. During that time he confided in his close friends, including myself so we knew exactly ...
A. 8 February 2016: He seems to like drama, keeping the ex-fling around and pretending to do as the current GF wants. Because I don't think people change over night. No matter how badly they want to be with someone... So who knows.
But I can tell you this, he is a ... (read in full...)
How long can a person pretend to be someone else to make another person happy?
Q. I'm worried about a friend of mine and was wondering if anyone has an advice. He dated this woman for over a year. They fought a lot, he cheated on her, etc. During that time he confided in his close friends, including myself so we knew exactly ...
A. 7 February 2016: As much as it SUCKS to watch someone you care about make major mistakes, it IS his life, his choices his mistakes to make. NOT yours.
So what I would do it leave him be for a while, let him figure all that out on his own. He probably even know it ... (read in full...)
Older men are my weakness. Should I be worried?
Q. Why am I attracted to older men? I have have dated men my own age but I feel nothing. I have had two serious relationships one with my ex' who was 38 and I was 20 and I was head over heels for him. Then 1 year later I met my Daughter's father who...
A. 7 February 2016: I don't think ALL older men are bad news, but I DO think when a guy in his 40's are looking for a 20-something, he is hoping for a less complicated relationship, someone who is more "willing" to jump when told, with less baggage, who will ... (read in full...)
Did this married man just make fun of me, or was he falling in love with me?
Q. Hi. I've been attracted with this married guy for almost two years. When i first saw him i had a crush on him and i long to see him often. Last month we started exchanging messages. He said he wanted to know me better. We spent time together ...
A. 7 February 2016: No OP, it's true that you can't control who you crush on, but you CAN control whether you TELL that person or not. And him being married should be a HUGE clue to NOT tell him. To nip those feelings in the bud.
Just because someone has a crush do... (read in full...)
Friend's wedding plans will break the bank
Q. My best friend is getting married in May this year and has asked my 5 year old daughter to be a bridesmaid. Of course my daughter is excited as this is her 1st time. We went looking for bridesmaid dresses and my friend is having to them m...
A. 7 February 2016: I DO think she should have been upfront with WHO was going to pay for the dress, because there IS tradition for both the parent (you) and the bride (her/her parents) to pay for it - so it's not like it's OBVIOUS. And YOU should have asked straight ... (read in full...)
Does my personal trainer have a crush on me?
Q. I am 20 and he is 36 and is married according to his FaceBook. When I first met my personal trainer, he kept looking deep into my eyes with the biggest smile. He then texted me asking how my day has been and when I am starting, to have a good ...
A. 7 February 2016: Ah the perpetual question of the Personal Trainers...
1. he is DEFINITELY not shy.
2. part of a PT's job is to be outgoing, positive and to drum up business, get new clients. Being flirty and friendly works VERY well for most of them. ( You s... (read in full...)
Why did he stop texting me completely?
Q. I've been speaking to a guy for quite some time and we finally went on our first date. I told him that I am not looking for a relationship and he said he isn't as well but said that he would like a companion and that if a relationship happens, it ...
A. 7 February 2016: You told him you want to go separate ways. Which, made him decide that you were NOT at all emotionally invested in him and not what HE is looking for.
Everything he has said to you, would lead ME to believe he wasn't looking for casual or a friend... (read in full...)
How does one encourage diversity and diverse ethnicity in volunteer hobby groups?
Q. This is a very different question that normally gets posted on this site but I've often found help (or at least food for thought) from the least likely of sources so here goes..... How do you encourage ethnic diversity within an organisation whe...
A. 6 February 2016: You can't MAKE people want to do theater.
But your theater/group could offer some workshops for kids/young adults for free (as in the people already there will volunteer their week ends for free) and stop by at local schools/... (read in full...)
We've gotten closer, does he still want to be friends or could he want more?
Q. So about a year ago I asked a boy out, he said he thought of me as a friend and that with exams coming up, it'd be impractical. But now, over the past few months, we've become really close - we talk every day in school and online. He waits for me ...
A. 6 February 2016: I'd stick to JUST being friends. I'm pretty sure if he wanted MORE than friendship, he would have let you know by now.
I'd just tell your friends to chill.... (read in full...)
I've fallen out of love with boyfrind and am looking elsewhere
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years and recently I've started to feel different. Last year he broke the trust in our relationship but I stayed with him (stupid I know). He used to not really give much interest in our relationship ...
A. 6 February 2016: I agree, just END it with your BF, and don't be a cheater or homewrecker.
When things at home (in your relationship) isn't great, it is EASY to notice other men/women instead of either fixing what's broken or ending it. BUT the right thing is... (read in full...)
Feeling stressed and pregnant. How should I handle this discovery about my husband?
Q. Ok so I'm 6/7 weeks pregnant and I've been very very emotional and irrational the last few days. I went looking for a link in the history of my laptops Internet (my other half had obviously just been using it before me) and saw that he looked u...
A. 6 February 2016: Well you are right, her name didn't JUST pop up in the search. And I'd tell him that he NEEDS to quit lying because it makes everything 10 times more shady. My guess is he lied because he really didn't have a "good" excuse to look her up.
Now, ... (read in full...)
Did this married man just make fun of me, or was he falling in love with me?
Q. Hi. I've been attracted with this married guy for almost two years. When i first saw him i had a crush on him and i long to see him often. Last month we started exchanging messages. He said he wanted to know me better. We spent time together ...
A. 6 February 2016: You don't want to be his friend you want more, however THIS guys is married - you do know what that is right? When two people stand up together and make a vow, to be there for each OTHER (not for other women/men) etc.
I don't think he fell in ... (read in full...)
I've relocated and quit my job and now I'm afraid he'll run off with someone who can give him children
Q. Hi folks, I don't know if anyone has been in a relationship with some one younger, I have been for coming up 3 years. life is good, but one thing I'm young 44 just he's coming up 32. I have grown up kids he has none. when I met him he didn't ...
A. 5 February 2016:
I'm 100% with Ciar.
He KNEW going into this that you could not have kids without surgery. He offered to pay, till he heard how expensive it is.... YOU did all the legwork so that HE can be fulfilled, only to have him pull the rug - not on himse... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hinted that her ex was large!
Q. Okay, my gf claims she was a virgin. We are both just turned 18. I have had doubts stemming from us sleeping together the second time we were in a house together after being official for a couple of weeks, her mentioning her ex having a panic attack ...
A. 5 February 2016: I agree with Aidan.
There is NOT such thing as a PENIS so big no condoms fit, OK? YOU (or a GROWN MAN) can fit his WHOLE foot in one - so if a guy "claims" to be so huge no condoms fit, he is full of crap and doesn't KNOW how to put on a condom. ... (read in full...)
How do I ask for my money?
Q. I feel really stupid asking this question. I am a math tutor. I go to my pupil's homes and give private lessons. I do it on the side and they pay me in cash. My prices are reasonable (ok, on the lower side, times are hard, but that is my decision...
A. 5 February 2016: IF she doesn't contact or pay you ASAP, there will be no more classes given by you.
And in the future, write a little contract ( you can look up the standard tutor contract) print out two copies - give one to the parent and have them fill out... (read in full...)
How do women find men who want them?
Q. I do not know how to really say this but I am 18, I am a virgin and I have never actually been kissed. I want these things, I want to be kissed, I want to have sex. But I cannot find anyone who wants me? I want a relationship but I have never had...
A. 5 February 2016: WiseOwlE wrote a very long and VERY sanguine post of how to go about it, and he is right.
Knowing yourself, loving yourself is always a good start.
Know WHAT you like in others, what you like in life is another good step.
Let's say you r... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my parents?
Q. i am 13 and I have been masturbating since I was 11 and my brother did masturbate and got caught and now he is not allowed any electronics so what should I do..... Should I tell them or what? ...
A. 5 February 2016: I agree with Ciar.
Though, my guess is he was caught with porn? And that is why he lost his tech?
So do yourself a BIG favor, (and not just to please your parents) but don't use porn. Porn is not real, and it's not reality.
http://yourbrai... (read in full...)
How do I accept, let go, and move on?
Q. How best can I accept an apology I never got (and never will), let go and move on? I am trying very hard to let go of the anger I feel- but it comes in waves- and unexpectedly. So many negative feelings- anger, disgust, resentment, guilt, shame. How ...
A. 5 February 2016: Why do you think you are owed an apology?
The anger, guilt, disgust, shame are feelings that are hard to keep around long term. So at some point you need to work on forgiveness. Forgiving YOURSELF for getting in a position to have done all the ... (read in full...)
Would a guy invest his time for texting almost every hour and everyday only to get sex
Q. Hello everyone! I am wondering, if a guy would invest his time for texting almost every hour and everyday only to get sex (my fear)? I don't know him in real life, we met online. He's charming and all that stuff. We've been texting about ...
A. 5 February 2016: Yes, they would.
If you add up all the texts you have had, you have how many minutes of actual DECENT conversation? Not a whole lot, I bet.
What you get in texting versus a REAL conversation is "snippets" - only parts.
Hold off on the sex, ... (read in full...)
Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually?
Q. Does it make one a terrible person if he or she does not want to see someone else because they've been together with too many people sexually? My boyfriend said it doesn't and shouldn't matter, but I feel like I wouldn't want to be with someone who ...
A. 5 February 2016: We all have preferences. YOURS is :"I don't want to be with someone who has been with too many people "
And I think that is OK.
Chances for STD's - specially things like HPV get EXPONENTIALLY higher the more people you (and your partner sle... (read in full...)
Is it cheating or just a friend thing????
Q. Hi i have a serious question. First, I have a friend that I text behind my boyfriend's back. My friend is someone i met at work like some of my other friends. But some how he is a close friend cuz of the things we like. He knows i have a boyfriend n ...
A. 5 February 2016: I'd say it's utterly wrong and here is why:
IF you can not do it (texting dirty) in the open and in front of your partner... Then you are being shady. And you are investing time in another guy talking about things that are NOT "friend" kind of ... (read in full...)
where are the decent girls out there and why am I always getting led on?
Q. how do I know if a girl is really interested or if she is just being polite or if she just likes my attention? I'll need some seemingly nice girl in the checkout line or at a bus stop or at a party or work and we end up talking for a long time and I ...
A. 5 February 2016: Why does this happen to you?
Let me be blunt too....
Because you PRESUME that if a girl talks to you she MUST be interested in sex or getting to know you. While SHE on the other hand is JUST being polite and social. It's called small talk. What... (read in full...)
I broke up with him a year ago. Is it okay to wish him a happy birthday this year?
Q. I dated someone for three months a year ago. We had a wonderful relationship but realized we wanted different things in life. We ended up having a serious talk on his birthday and I ended up breaking up with him. It was on decent terms but he was ...
A. 5 February 2016: I wouldn't either. I don't think it's appropriate. And do you really want him to start associating his B-day with the break up?
Hopefully he is well over it now, so it would be ripping up in old wounds.
... (read in full...)
I'm trampolining with my crush! What should I wear that'll impress him, but is still comfortable?
Q. Hey everyone. So, on Saturday, I'm going out with this group of people, (including my crush). And we're going trampolining...And so basically, I just wanted some help on what I should wear. I mean, I know it's not a date, but I want to look good, ...
A. 4 February 2016: Awww hope you get over it asap.
... (read in full...)
His ex keeps asking for money!
Q. What do i do if an old girlfriend insists on texting my bf every week to lend money?...
A. 4 February 2016: What does your BF do? Lend her money?
Do they have kids together? Is there a reason they are still talking?
I don't think this is for you to solve, honestly. It's HIS problem, his to deal with. If they don't have kids, dogs or property togethe... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer speaks to me, says he's too tired!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I live together and I noticed right away that we had no dates any longer and just coexisted, so to speak. It was a downer on the romance. I brought it up, and we've done several things to still feel like a couple and not j...
A. 4 February 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim.
Seems like he was looking to share his expenses more than move in together out of LOVE for you. It's convenient to have someone to live with, someone to fuss over you, cook and clean for you.
I think it's time for yo... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend & current boyfriend drama!!
Q. So i dated this guy for about two years, i broke up with him, hes been trying to 'get back at me' but also 'get me back' for the past six months, I recently started dating this new guy who gets very uncomfortable with my ex texting me as he will ...
A. 4 February 2016: Don't straddle the fence.
PICK one of them - either the ex OR the new guy. Whomever you pick... BLOCK and DELETE the other's phone number - ditto for Facebook etc.
If you pick the new guy, you texting the ex is so shady. While you may think yo... (read in full...)
What do you say to someone who is thoroughly convinced no one will like them for who they are?
Q. This question isn't really about help for me, but rather for my friend. Some info on him: he's 40, been divorced for just over a year, and is looking to date again. The problem? He hangs out in bars, claiming he's just "people watching", then com...
A. 4 February 2016:
I have known quite a few nice guys, not one of them called themselves a nice guy. Others called them nice.
The ones calling themselves nice, and then moans that everything doesn't fall into their laps (specially women) are NOT nice guys. (speci... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family about this unconventional relationship I have with someone I haven't officially met?
Q. I recently just entered an "unconventional" relationship with someone "Mika" I knew for about a year now. We met through my best friend "Jay". Jay and I met pretty much online, we met in person roughly a year or so into our friendship. Online, he ...
A. 4 February 2016: Maybe meet him first? Which would mean he can't stay at your place yet (which I wouldn't recommend anyways) Having chatted for a whole year is great, but there is a BIG difference from someone's online persona to their real persona and clicking ... (read in full...)
Text sent to me from an unknown number. If it's her, what should I do?
Q. My best friend and I have been close for nearly three years now. We've always been comfortable around each other to divulge personal secrets. In the beginning, I did have a crush on her. I thought she was gorgeous, still do. Over time, I realized...
A. 4 February 2016: Personally, I'd back off the issue for now. She is in no position to be even considering dating. And if she can't tell you to your face (by NOT being anonymous) that she has feelings what good it is?... (read in full...)
I met him on Tinder and am wondering what he is aiming for?
Q. Hello everyone! I need some advice. I've met a guy on Tinder (an app that has a certain reputation) a week ago. He was quite friendly, charming and caring. We talked about our hobbies, school (we're enrolled in university) and just general stu...
A. 3 February 2016: Heheh, thanks for clarifying :)
How can you tell? Little hard so early on, but someone who jumps to sex talk fast, might be more focused on sex than something serious - however, if you meet up and are upfront about NOT wanting to be sexual t... (read in full...)
We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and he's already dating someone else. Was he cheating?
Q. I'm a 44 year old woman who was recently in a relationship with the man I planned to married. He is 47. We were in a serious relationship and were very much in love. We did everything together! He's never given me a reason to think that he was ...
A. 3 February 2016: You are a grown woman, you can pay for you own phone.
Do you know if it's on contract? and if so, when the contract runs out? IF you do you could suggest to him that you send him the money monthly till the contract runs out, after that HE can canc... (read in full...)
This sinking feeling in my stomach will pass, right?
Q. Married bf's wife got suspicious and he dropped me like a hot potato -after four years. I am angry and disgusted. More at peace though not having him in my life. But occasionally get a sinking feeling in my stomach. This too shall pass, right?...
A. 3 February 2016: Hopefully it will.
Doesn't the thought of not being part of cheating and hurting someone else make you feel better about the relationship being over? Don't you want MORE for yourself then a guy who can't really commit to you, who can't take you... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family about this unconventional relationship I have with someone I haven't officially met?
Q. I recently just entered an "unconventional" relationship with someone "Mika" I knew for about a year now. We met through my best friend "Jay". Jay and I met pretty much online, we met in person roughly a year or so into our friendship. Online, he ...
A. 3 February 2016: So he still has a fiance?
Having met someone online is not so uncommon anymore, but dating someone you haven't met might seem a little, well premature. And if that someone has a fiance... where is the future for you and him? (as in there is none)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't call me every morning!
Q. My bf doesn't call me ever morning... I m the only who cals him remind him about me...?? What should I do ...
A. 3 February 2016: Stop calling him and see what happens?
Either he will step it up, or you will know he might not be the right guy for you.
With that said... Does he KNOW you expect to get a wake-up call every morning?
... (read in full...)
We had one date, thought it went great, but does it seem like she's blowing me off now?
Q. So I met this girl at a friends party two weeks ago. We talked for about an hour and I got her number. I asked her out via text, and she said she'd like to but couldn't that week because of a trip, but said she'd be up for it the following week. ...
A. 3 February 2016: Just make sure when you ASK for that second date that you give her 3-4 days advanced notice.
And I agree, light funny texts would be the way to go.
I think she is just be a bit guarded.
And text the NEXT day if you had a great date.... (read in full...)
Is she not very sexually experienced and I'm just manipulative?
Q. So I've been seeing this girl for a month now- I am very sexual with her but just over the weekend we had unprotected sex and I came inside her.. She was pretty nervous afterwards but we kept doing it for the next 4 days. We have basically fallen in ...
A. 3 February 2016: Stop being stupid. Go buy condoms. If you can't afford condoms you surely can't afford a kid.
And one month in and you are playing Russian Roulette? Yea, smart is not what I would call you.
Ever heard of STD's/STI's?
... (read in full...)
She told me she loves me but that she's been seeing another guy for a couple of years
Q. So I met this girl about a month ago.. We pretty much got along very well and talk everyday. We hangout all the time and have become very intimate. We got to the stage where she is telling me she loves me.. But then we had a serious talk and she ...
A. 3 February 2016: I think you are being a BIT stupid here. It's been less than a month and you have unprotected sex with someone with a BF?
I mean what happens if you KNOCK her up? Have you thought that far?
I have a few tips for you:
1. GO buy condoms. Kn... (read in full...)
I refused to play his game
Q. Hi everyone I have a problem with a man who apparently is grieving for his wife. He showed a lot of attention to me before she died. He went cold for a little while but now its back again. His wife died 9 months ago. Unfortunately fo...
A. 3 February 2016: Keep him blocked. If he find a way to contact you, block that too.
He has nothing to offer, right now. Doesn't mean he doesn't want attention etc. It is NOT your job to help him deal with the loss and guilt. That is on him.... (read in full...)
We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and he's already dating someone else. Was he cheating?
Q. I'm a 44 year old woman who was recently in a relationship with the man I planned to married. He is 47. We were in a serious relationship and were very much in love. We did everything together! He's never given me a reason to think that he was ...
A. 3 February 2016: People move at different speeds. And you two seems to have fight over (what you call) petty things, so maybe you and he wasn't as good a match as you felt it was, at least he didn't.
Now of you two went through on/off phases - where you didn't t... (read in full...)
Is my premise possible? Is it decent folks, who try to live right, who are the people who get screwed over?
Q. Maybe it's because I am feeling really low these days- but increasingly feel that it's the decent folks and the ones who try to live right that get screwed over. The lying, cheating, selfish ones live peacefully. How come?...
A. 2 February 2016: I agree.
I doubt they (the lying, deceitful, selfish people) live more peaceful - after all THEY have to live with the knowledge of who and "what" they are.
You post reminded me of the post we get a few of here on DC - about "good guys finis... (read in full...)
I met him on Tinder and am wondering what he is aiming for?
Q. Hello everyone! I need some advice. I've met a guy on Tinder (an app that has a certain reputation) a week ago. He was quite friendly, charming and caring. We talked about our hobbies, school (we're enrolled in university) and just general stu...
A. 2 February 2016: OP can you clarify what a "hooker" is?
In English it's a prostitute, but I don't think that is what you mean?... (read in full...)
I'm trampolining with my crush! What should I wear that'll impress him, but is still comfortable?
Q. Hey everyone. So, on Saturday, I'm going out with this group of people, (including my crush). And we're going trampolining...And so basically, I just wanted some help on what I should wear. I mean, I know it's not a date, but I want to look good, ...
A. 28 January 2016: Whatever you decide to wear - do a handstand at home before leaving the house, that way you know if anything slides up/down in ways you don't want it too.... (read in full...)
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