What's a reasonable degree of involvement with your in-laws?
Q. I'd like to have opinions from the Dc community about what's a reasonable / sustainable degree of involvement with your in laws. ( I have my own opinion, and I am also pretty sanguine about it- but, although I hate to admit it :) I can't al...
A. 15 January 2016: Maybe also mention that when they in a couple of years have kids, wouldn't SHE want the family to fuss over HER baby too?
And yes, the hubby is a wuss. It's not like he has to be "confrontational" with his mother when he says, we are off to Livig... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex
Q. My current boyfriend keeps bringing up my ex and it disturbs him immensely because initially when we got together when my boyfriend asked about my ex i said he was nice and I have good memories with him and don't want to say anything bad!this ...
A. 14 January 2016: I would point out that the ex is part of your past, you and him didn't work end of story, and that you are DONE discussing him.
If he doesn't STOP bringing him up, ASK him why this is such an important issue for him. LET him put words to it. And ... (read in full...)
Would you get mad at your partner if he or she only replied "thank you!" a day after you sent a naughty text message?
Q. Would you get mad at your BF of three years who is in South Africa right now visiting family if you sent him a sexually explicit message and it took him over a day to reply to it? Not only that but when he does reply it's short? The message de...
A. 14 January 2016: No, I wouldn't be upset.
I think you did it to get attention and it backfired and now you are a little annoyed over it.
HE is on vacation. IF he didn't ASK for a naughty picture he might even have found it a little odd that you send him one now... (read in full...)
When is right to ask her over?
Q. Hi, is four dates, too early to ask to come over to her place, bring a movie, and popcorn so we can be alone, and snuggle. We have been out dancing, out to eat, talking on the phone, that is texing. I have ask, she says its too early. I don't dr...
A. 14 January 2016: Bars and restaurants are not the only options for a date. You should go watch an art exhibit, to a museum, nature walk, a day trip somewhere etc.
Bars/pubs doesn't have to be noisy places, same with restaurants. Getting a private booth clears t... (read in full...)
I wish he would grow up
Q. Hi I'm in a relationship which up until recently was going really well my boyfriend is 29 but will not grow up he acts like a kid lately. I've been feeling very neglected by him as he makes no time for me at all we live together but I feel like we l...
A. 14 January 2016: Gave you considered that he is pulling away because he is not happy in the relationship, but incapable of expressing it?
How can you fix it? You can't, not alone. And he won't talk about it.
So maybe... do what he is doing. Get busy with your o... (read in full...)
Anger management hell with father in law
Q. I need advice about my how to deal with my husband's family, in particular, his dad.. He is old school and I get the distinct feeling he has little respect for women. His current wife is number 3, who was a mistress he got pregnant and brought ...
A. 14 January 2016: I'm sorry you had to deal with this fella at all, but this is not something you can fix. He was gunning for a fight. My guess is he hasn't been pissed of at someone for a while and you ended up being the target because you didn't want to play his ... (read in full...)
Long term affair has me shocked
Q. I recently found out that the affair my wife had about 30 years ago had been going on for almost 3 years... I was shocked. Back then after her affair was discovered, and came to an end, I never thought that it had lasted THAT long. My question is ...
A. 14 January 2016: Lust? feeling neglected at home? availability? attention?
Which usually some of the reasons given for cheating. Whether he is single or not.. I think is less important. But a single guy would be more available than a married one.
And if he had... (read in full...)
My first date from hell! What shall I do next?
Q. MY FIRST DATE FROM HELL So I was chatting to a lady for a few weeks. I met up with her 30 miles away from where I live and we went for a meal. Everything was grate and we got on really well and had a laugh, we went to her local for a drink afte...
A. 13 January 2016: Oh block her. She is a time waster.
All she could have said was, I'm heading back to met up with my friend, no need for elaborate lies. Or she could have thanks you and said, I think I'd stay at the pub making sure my friend is not alone.
... (read in full...)
Am I an idiot to keep responding to him?
Q. Met a guy from a dating site 2 years ago. Met him on and off throughout and we just meet for sex. last time i saw him was about two months ago. I would of liked him to of wanted more then sex but i know he doesn't. The sex is alright but i know he ...
A. 13 January 2016: Am i a idiot for keep responding to him?
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You already know THAT answer (which is yes).
BLOCK his number! It's not hard or if that is too costly, consider getting a new phone number. Pretend he fell of the Earth and move on.
Yo... (read in full...)
Am I a shopaholic?
Q. Anytime I feel bad or stressed, I go out and get new clothes. And I have felt bad a lot of times last year and just had my first bad feeling today. So out I am to get new clothes. I can't help it. Does this make me a shopaholic. I am currently...
A. 13 January 2016: I would call you a "shopaholic" or maybe the term compulsive spender.
And it's something you need to deal with. You can't shop yourself better. The whole buying new shiny things or clothes will only make you feel good in the moment but give you... (read in full...)
What's a reasonable degree of involvement with your in-laws?
Q. I'd like to have opinions from the Dc community about what's a reasonable / sustainable degree of involvement with your in laws. ( I have my own opinion, and I am also pretty sanguine about it- but, although I hate to admit it :) I can't al...
A. 13 January 2016: I may not be the best to give advice on this one. I'm, a terrible DIL, SIL and aunt. I admit it.
BUT... here is what I'd do.
I'get a 52 week calendar. Plot in all the FAVORITE holidays and add all the 10 birthdays. And look at the calendar. Ho... (read in full...)
Help me deal with heartbreak after a break up
Q. A few days after Christmas, my now EX of three months invited me to her place for lunch. When I arrived she seemed a little distant, and started crying. I knew right away that whatever it was we had, was now over... She said that she wasn't ready...
A. 13 January 2016: You were together for 3 months then broke up 2 weeks ago, is that correct?
So it basically ended before it could get started?
I think she was right when she said, it's NOT you, it's me. I don't think she said that to make you feel better, but... (read in full...)
Can't make head nor tail of this on/off friendship
Q. I had a strong crush on an old colleague of mine. She and I use to be so close when I first started working at my old job. We use to laugh, flirt, chat and she would stare at me and smile all the time. She came to me one day and asked me for my ...
A. 13 January 2016: She might like you, but she isn't looking to date you. Maybe she thought it was "safe" to flirt with you (and other female co-workers) without them reading more into it.
It sounds to me like she isn't sure WHAT she wants. She LIKED the idea of ... (read in full...)
How do I win through her shyness?
Q. I'm a sophomore in college, and I share many classes with a girl I find attractive. I'm not into dating someone immediately, I prefer to have a friendship with them first, but the girl I like is very quiet. Whenever we have free time and other ...
A. 13 January 2016: Do you know her hobbies and interests? Do you share any of them? Because that could be an icebreaker.
It could also be that besides being shy she isn't interested. That might be why she brings a book so she doesn't HAVE to interact with others. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend treats me like a child
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 9 months, we met in the health club we work at (I'm a physical therapist, she's a yoga instructor). Things have been great, but their is one HUGE a problem, she's 10 years older than me (I'm 26,she's 36) and she ...
A. 13 January 2016: I'm with Auntie Cindy,
She mothers you, because you act like a bratty kid.
WHY should SHE do all the chores because you want to play your online game?
I play online games too (and I'm older than both of you) but my game play doesn't supers... (read in full...)
When is right to ask her over?
Q. Hi, is four dates, too early to ask to come over to her place, bring a movie, and popcorn so we can be alone, and snuggle. We have been out dancing, out to eat, talking on the phone, that is texing. I have ask, she says its too early. I don't dr...
A. 13 January 2016: SHE already told you that she thinks it's too early.
SHE is the one you are dating!
And yes, I'd say it might BE too early. One dancing, one dinner...
GET to know her, if you aren't sure about her drinking habits then maybe figure that o... (read in full...)
He's hurt and deceived me - please help
Q. Hello everyone. I really need some advice as I'm completely devastated. My boyfriend of 5 years confessed to me about a week ago that he met another woman a couple months back and that he's fallen in love with her. Not only that but my boyfriend is ...
A. 13 January 2016: What are you suppose to do now?
Let him go.
Yes, it's deceitful that he lined up someone else before leaving you, but that is ON HIM, not you.
As for promising to never hurt you, well in theory that is nice, but reality is.. that is a k... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's sister has me rattled
Q. I am finding my girlfriend's sister really annoying lately and feel like I'm getting to the point where im gonna say something or snap. I'm trying to be understanding because she has recently got out of a long-term relationship, moved back home ...
A. 13 January 2016: What kind of comment did she make?
Personally, I see nothing wrong in standing up for yourself if she flings out random rude crap.
Have you asked your GF what's up with her sister?
I don't really see her having broken up recently and enter... (read in full...)
I want to save this relationship, so how can I get him to understand that what I said was a mistake that was not aimed at him?
Q. The love of my life broke up with me a few weeks ago because I was in a confrontational mood and said some very mean and hurtful things to him. Obviously, I did not mean what I said at all and I love him dearly. He is obviously hurt. He goes out of ...
A. 13 January 2016: I think the BEST thing you can do is STOP chasing after him trying to convince him HE was wrong to end it.
You have expressed what you feel in a letter etc. NOW give him time to digest it. And while you do that... no calling, no texting, no faceb... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't like how I taste. How do I fix this?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend a fair while now, however when we first got together he had just gotten out of what had not only been a 3 year long relationship, but also his first relationship ever. I on the other hand have been with a couple of g...
A. 13 January 2016: No person can "taste" experience on a girl - unless you just had sex with several other dudes then... let him do oral on you...
Whether a girl is a virgin or NON virgin her flavor doesn't change. What CAN change (as far as flavor goes) is what tha... (read in full...)
I can't see a way out of this hole ...
Q. I'm a friendless, 25 year old male that has never been in a relationship before. In "paper" it'd seem like I'm a good catch, I have a master's degree, a fulfilling and well-paying career and an awesome apartment downtown. The biggest issues that I ...
A. 12 January 2016: Even if you volunteer for "selfish" reasons... what you do still HELPS other people. And IF it also can help YOU out, what is wrong with that?
And I was thinking the guys you work with, do you ever hang out with them after work? If not, why?
... (read in full...)
Sex is good but he's gone cold
Q. I met a guy at uni a few months ago and i guess we sort of became fuck buddies having mostly drunken sex. It hasn't been constant but before Christmas it was happening regularly and it turned into a more friends with benefits as we spent more time ...
A. 12 January 2016: I'd leave him be as well.
If he ONLY wants sex and you want more... then well, he isn't a good fit for you.
If YOU only want sex and he wants more, then YOU are not a good fit for him.
Maybe he doesn't know WHAT he wants and if he can't AR... (read in full...)
He criticizes me all the time, is this relationship worth pursuing?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm dating someone for past 3 weeks, we connected really well at the start, it's like we are destined to meet and everything. But the problem is he criticizes me all the time, but never compliments when I ask about it, says he doe...
A. 12 January 2016: I'd walk now.
He isn't ANY more "perfect" than you are, and if he is ONLY (after barely 3 weeks) are more busy pointing out your flaws and faults - how do you think it will be 3 months or 3 years down the line?
He isn't looking for the ... (read in full...)
I feel disrespected when he spends so much time with his ex
Q. my supposed boyfriend and I got into a small argument the other day and like always, it turned into a huge mess. We've been off and on for almost a year now. He was at the end of a marriage with the mother of his kids when we got together, which I ...
A. 12 January 2016: I agree fully with Eddie and WiseOwlE
He is neither here nor there. When she kicks him out he comes to you, when you get mad he goes there...
You each have LESS than half a man.
You have included HIM into your life, your family.. HE has NOT... (read in full...)
Why would a married man keep in touch with his mistress while on vacation with his wife?
Q. Why does a married man who is on vacation with his wife keep in constant touch with his mistress while he is away? And tells her he misses her and can't wait to be with her again?...
A. 12 January 2016: Promises are cheap, words are even cheaper.
Why wouldn't he text her? He has to make sure she doesn't start to think for herself, use some common decency or common sense and realize that she isn't the "half" of a loving couple... that she is there... (read in full...)
Was he put off because I wasn't 100%, or am I overthinking?
Q. Some advice would be much appreciated please. I went on a date yesterday afternoon with a guy my friends have been trying to set me up with for a while. On Friday just past, I started to feel ill (sore throat, achy, headache etc) and despite my best ...
A. 11 January 2016: No one is 100% ON all the time. It's quite OK to have an off day, and personally... If I was sick... I'd rather call the guy and let him know rather then sit there and possibly give him whatever you are suffering from. Strep is no joke.
But I... (read in full...)
Is he a psycho? Is he trying to have friendship on his terms?
Q. Dear Aunts, a dilemma has been haunting my life since 3 years. A guy I was on/off with For 3 years has re-entered my life after he asked me to never contact him again In June. he wasn't being available and consistent so I burst and freaked out one ...
A. 11 January 2016: I so agree with Auntie Cindy!
Girlfriend or no GF, he still didn't take you serious in the 3 years you two were on/off so why should he now?
YOU are wasting your time, emotions, effort and affection on a guy who really don't... give a fly's far... (read in full...)
Now I know should I meet him?
Q. Hi, I met this guy online. We been talking 5 months. He lives 2000 miles away. He wanted to come visit me however I have roommate so we mutually decided I go visit him. I was under the impression we were dating monogamously. Come to find out, he's...
A. 11 January 2016: I agree with SVC - CALL the airlines and check out your options.
I would NOT go see him.
If you can't get a "rain-check" sort of deal with the airlines, do you know ANYONE else in that city who might put you up?
And learn from this, even af... (read in full...)
Propositioned by father in law - what's going on?
Q. My step Father rang for my birthday today. But also accused me of being gay but I am happily married and also that he has strong sexual feelings for me. I said a few words to him and hang up. I am in shock, disbelief I don't believe he said this. c...
A. 11 January 2016: Gross!
No wonder you didn't really know what to do with that! I agree with YouWish, specially if you get along with your mom.
I'd call her and tell her that you had the STRANGEST conversation with insert step-dad's name and that you are act... (read in full...)
She complained against me. Am I justified in being cold towards her?
Q. I have a weird situation. I'm taking a tennis class, and I got an odd phone call from the person who runs the tennis classes telling me they had a complaint that I (and a few other people) weren't good enough to be in that class. I spoke to the ...
A. 11 January 2016: I'd ignore it, but I would not "kiss-ass" to that woman either.
I think it is VERY unprofessional for someone to TELL you who made the complaint. If your coach is OK with you being there and to coach you, that you give the other team-mat... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend intend to send this email to another woman?
Q. I have a very big problem and it's been eating away at me for the past few hours but it's been ongoing. I know the fine people of DC will be able to provide me with the best possible advice and that is why I am here reaching out to you. My boyfri...
A. 11 January 2016: I too would give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he wasn't sure the FIRST one had gone through he wrote and sent a second one. JUST to make sure YOU wouldn't be upset over no e-mails for ONE day.
IF it was to another woman why not just cop... (read in full...)
Was it the right decision? To not have child by him?
Q. Over 30 years ago I met a man who became my first love. Cutting a very long story short, we met through music. In the 80's he got a break and was signed to a major label. Our relationship suffered due to other women and the fact that my life was at ...
A. 11 January 2016: I don't think it's something worth entertaining any more. That decision was made and the ship sailed.
He had (without doubt) other women in his life whom he could have fathered a child with if it was THAT important to him.
Obviously, th... (read in full...)
Is her lack of experience going to be an issue down the line
Q. Hey all! So recently I've been dating this girl (21 years old) with next to no serious, romantic relationship experience. In her words, she's never been even close to having one. I've been trying to respect her embarrassment over how awkward she ...
A. 10 January 2016: YOU need to relax and try and read her.
IF holding hands is awkward for her, WHY force the issue? It's ONLY the second date!
Same goes for to get her to DTR (define the relationship) - it's the SECOND date!
Just GO slow with her. She has t... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I'm becoming overly sexual
Q. I have never really had any positive sexual experiences. I was abused as a child and my marriage was abusive sexually. So I have never liked sex. Last year I met my new partner. He is very loving and gentle with me, which is a whole new experience. ...
A. 10 January 2016: Late 20's to late 30's is where women CAN get an increased libido, it's not uncommon - one of the reason are that they RELAX more about the act, the don't accept (as often) crappy sex as part of a relationship.
Basically by your 30's you KNOW wha... (read in full...)
Is he a psycho? Is he trying to have friendship on his terms?
Q. Dear Aunts, a dilemma has been haunting my life since 3 years. A guy I was on/off with For 3 years has re-entered my life after he asked me to never contact him again In June. he wasn't being available and consistent so I burst and freaked out one ...
A. 10 January 2016: Is he a psycho?
I'm not a psychiatrist, and cannot diagnose him.
BUT he DOES like to play games on HIS terms. You are a his gap-stop (someone he will be with when he HAS no one else to date/sleep with) and as soon as YOU want to make demands,... (read in full...)
I'm fed up and tired of my girlfriend and her drama. There's a new woman on the scene. How do I approach her?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my gf for almost three years. However throughout those years it's been good and it has been REAL bad. She has a short temper and gets mad real easy. She also loves to argue. When I ignore her she comes back ...
A. 10 January 2016: So stop stringing the GF along! Break up with her. You already have one foot out the door "chasing" this "old friend", so why not be SINGLE?
If it's not working between you and your GF, you end it.
Whether this old friend" is interested in mo... (read in full...)
Was my Irritable Bowel Syndrome a turn off? he has not contacted me since I fell ill.
Q. I suffer from IBS and told my boyfriend this when we started seeing each other 2 months ago. Last weekend we planned to sleep together but as I had a IBS attack this did not happen and since then I have not heard from him. Even after sending te...
A. 10 January 2016: Could be that he really wasn't looking for something serious but more of a sexual relationship. And when he realized that there would be times where sex would not be possible, he "vanished".
I'd stop calling/texing or contacting him and move on.... (read in full...)
If my ex tries to talk to me, should I listen, or stay with the new partner?
Q. Met someone new, three dates, going great, showing me more then my ex did, but am still in love with my ex. In my past, this has happened, more then once, when things were really starting to be great with the new one, my ex would pop back in the p...
A. 10 January 2016: I agree with Cindy.
I will reiterate ... don't date till you are all the way over the ex. It's not fair to a new partner to step into a relationship with a heart and head full of an ex.
Your ex doesn't love you, he/she just wants you to wal... (read in full...)
Money problems resulting in relationship problems!
Q. I have a situation which is as old as the hills, but here it is; I'm a self-employed person.Up til recently business has been good, but for now and the forseeable future my earnings are taking a huge drop. I have a small amount of savings which ar...
A. 9 January 2016: She shouldn't have booked an expensive restaurant without asking you before hand IF she was expecting you to pay. No matter if you have been together for 3 months of 7 years.
So no, I don't think you should dip into your savings.
YOU need to s... (read in full...)
Is a puppy just as much work as a baby?
Q. I recently got a puppy, and a friend of mine who has a baby told me she heard a puppy is just as much work as a baby. Now, she's never had a puppy, and I've never had a baby. Can someone who has had the experience with both please tell me if this is ...
A. 8 January 2016: No they don't compare. AT ALL.
But I do think, having raised a dog before having kids can teach you some extra patience and THAT... (patience) you will need on spades when having kids.... (read in full...)
Do all girls just want to play games when it comes to dating?
Q. I was having dinner with my guy friends last night, and we were sharing recent dating experiences. Two of us are in our early 30s and the other guy his late 30s. As we shared our stories, a common theme emerged - we were tired of people playing ...
A. 8 January 2016: I don't think ALL women just want to play games, I think they want to be on equal footing with men and have found that it doesn't happen as much as they would like. So when they DO meet someone who DOES want something serious, they either don't know ... (read in full...)
Does a cheater cheat on everybody they are with and are they always cheating with multiple partners at once?
Q. Everybody always says cheaters are cheaters and will cheat on everybody they are with. Like it's gospel. So if you are with a man who has cheated on a partner in the past, it seems to be guaranteed he will do the same to you. Is this right? A...
A. 8 January 2016: I don't think there are a predetermined set of "rules" for cheaters that they ALL follow... If there were, we could all avoid ever being with a cheater easily.
I do think many people who justify cheating, think more of themselves and what THEY wan... (read in full...)
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