Can I trust him? maybe I shouldn't even be with him?
Q. Often times we are advised not to judge our boyfriends based on his past... But I wonder, isn't it important to have a general idea of his past relationships and how he has handled them? Wouldn't having this insight give me an idea of his characte...
A. 17 December 2015:
So with your update, OP - do you really see yourself WITH him long term?
Do you think he will want to be with you to please his parents, but then NOT be faithful to you?
It seems like you have a lot of thinking to do. And then you have to con... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex has been in touch with him
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I am in a LDR of a year. We have had some ups and downs, but love each other and see each other every other weekend for its entirety and speak/text loads. I found out his ex has been in contact with him. She broke up w...
A. 17 December 2015: Have you asking WHY he has decided to being contact again? Because I think he OWES you an explanation. It's easy enough to say - "OH she reached out to him".. He didn't HAVE to be civil or to continue talking to her. He could have cut her off and ... (read in full...)
He says we can't date one another but then acts as if we are
Q. So long story short, after getting coffee he told me he couldn't date as he only dates Christian girls. Forward two months later and he's acting like we're a couple in everyway. I've been overseas for a month but he's messaging me everyday, say...
A. 17 December 2015: He might want to "pretend dating you" long enough to have it turn sexual, but long term? He wants what he wants, and that is a "good Christian" woman. So he'd fool around with yo until he can find that "good Christian" woman whom he will want to ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him? maybe I shouldn't even be with him?
Q. Often times we are advised not to judge our boyfriends based on his past... But I wonder, isn't it important to have a general idea of his past relationships and how he has handled them? Wouldn't having this insight give me an idea of his characte...
A. 17 December 2015: How can you know for sure that he dropped the other 4 girls he "chatted" with online? It wouldn't be to hard for him to hide them from you as he did his GF. You two are LDR. Or he could have replaced them with other girls.
He cheated on his GF w... (read in full...)
Don't know if I can forgive his lies. If you imagine yourself in my position, what would you do?
Q. Hi, I have been in what I considered to be a good relationship with a very kind, loving man for the past 5 years, living together for the past year. Last week I found out that he has been lying to me about his career since we met. He told ...
A. 17 December 2015: I'd consider what else he has lied about in the past 5 years. Honestly. That was my first thought. I'd feel like the relationship was a sham, that I had been living with and dating someone I really don't know and I can't trust..
The fact that he ... (read in full...)
What can I do about threats my ex is alleged to have told my sister, all about my planned trip to see my new Bf?
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 months and to to say the least he was difficult and seemed to think he was some kind of father figure to me as my parents are dead and he was 14 years older than me Now I have met a guy on America who I have planned ...
A. 17 December 2015: How will your ex know what plane you are on? What day you leave? Seriously? Why are you even still talking to this dude and why is your sister talking to him?
IGNORE, BLOCK, DELETE the bugger and get on with your life and maybe tell your sister t... (read in full...)
Considering our long standing connection, chemistry and flirtationship why has he put me on the back burner now?
Q. So there is this guy I've been having a "flirtationship" with since the tenth grade now gone into my senior year of high school the chemistry and attraction between himself and I is undeniable from kisses, hugs and conversations we share. We jus...
A. 17 December 2015: Why? It's impossible to say. Maybe he was afraid that if he dated you, he would no longer get the flirtation and ego rubs from you. Or he just didn't like you ENOUGH to date you. Fun to flirt with... not sure you are a good match otherwise. Or you ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about this skinny shaming?
Q. OK, I have a gay male friend who to me seems obsessed with my weight/body. I m female, a size 8 weigh 57kgs and i m 169cm. According to my doctor i m in excellent health and the right weight etc for my BMI (Body Mass Index). I ve never had an...
A. 17 December 2015: While I don't think BMI is some magical formula as does not take into account muscle mass, bone density, overall body composition, nor does it always shows a healthy number - I do, however, think yours sound very healthy.
If you are HAPPY wi... (read in full...)
Do I give him a heads up? Go shopping with him despite what I know? Or just drop him and move on?
Q. Should I give this guy a chance? For the past year I have been online dating, I have deleted my profiles now as I've not had much luck with it and have been messed about by one guy I really liked. Since July I have been chatting to this other g...
A. 16 December 2015: I agree with Ciar,
TELL him like it is. Don't presume that he can read your mind or understand your subtle hints (he can't).
I would NOT go Christmas shopping with him, in fact I wouldn't waste any more time - though a short e-mail to let hi... (read in full...)
Does my date need to come out?
Q. A guy I'm dating got intimate ! I gave him a couple hickies at the drive thru and we kind of had sex. Well when he turned on the light he saw he had two hickies on his face, and he was upset. I said we can go to the store and I'll help you pick your ...
A. 16 December 2015: I think if he WAS/IS gay he wouldn't be making out with you. Even if he was/is trying to hide it.
Sorry in this day and age of "metro-sexual" make up, hair care, waxing - YOU name it is as common for dudes as it is for the gals. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
Should I call my ex to come hang out for the Holidays?
Q. Should I call my ex to come hang out for the Holidays? My ex and I broke up two years ago at the end of Christmas. Each year when the Holidays come around, I find myself thinking of him and missing him. We've never seen each other after our brea...
A. 16 December 2015: I think you should leave him be. You MAY think the GF "made" him block/ignore you, but it can be HE did it all on his own. Because? He has moved on.
As for the whole "He should also dump his current girlfriend and be with someone local." How is t... (read in full...)
My master manipulator sister is ruining our wedding plans and our life. Help!
Q. My sister is a master manipulator. Over the past year, since getting engaged, not only has she tried to get money out of me for stuff we borrowed, as well as bringing money for family suppers (instead of food), but she also has tried to interfere or ...
A. 15 December 2015: Inform her (and your parents) that you have decided to pick another MoH as your sister is far too busy and you don't want her to feel overwhelmed or stressed. Then DO so, and go ahead with the wedding as YOU see fit. If she makes any drama over it, ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf's technique the cause of the pain I feel after sex? What needs to change?
Q. When my partner uses his finger (we don't use toys or penis) on me, even when I'm really lubricated and it feels good, it sometimes feels a little torn when I use the bathroom once or twice in the few hours after. It doesn't usually hurt during, ...
A. 15 December 2015: Cold be his nails are actually scratching you or a cuticle is snagging your skin inside the vagina. Or it can be that his fingers aren't exactly clean and then leaves germs that annoys your insides. It can also be that he is rubbing a spot too much ... (read in full...)
Did she mean it? Do you think a girl would say this to someone if she didn't mean it?
Q. This girl is not exactly a workmate, just a place where I visit every week or so, selling things there. She is also not someone I deal with, she works in another area. Anyhow we chat sometimes and she seems very friendly to me. The other day ...
A. 15 December 2015: I think it was a joke, banter if you will.
Is it a signal? I don't know. I think it was a fitting answer for your "are you waiting on me?".
... (read in full...)
What are the dangers or issues associated with not wearing underwear? Assuming there may be any dangers or issues.
Q. Hello everyone, I have an odd question. I recently have decided I want to stop wearing boxers. I don't enjoy wearing clothing to begin with, and I don't even see a reason as to wear underwear if I'm covered. I'm in high school, and I want to kn...
A. 15 December 2015: Check your school dress code.
I used to go commando all the time in jeans (never in skirts or shorts) it was just more comfortable. Not sure the same goes for boys though... Different anatomy.
If you keep the area dry, clean and change pants... (read in full...)
He wants more sex but I'm exhausted
Q. Hi all - I need advice. How often do happy couples have sex? I am in an on again off again relationship with a guy for 3 years. We just got back together in late October - early Nov. Within the last 3 weeks, he brought up that he wants more sex...
A. 14 December 2015: I agree with Tisha here.
You got back together for all the wrong reasons. It's not a good fit, him and you. It wasn't before and nothing has changed to make it work now.
He is an ass. Selfish and toxic ass to boot. It's all about HIS needs ... (read in full...)
Ex' is threatening suicide. How do I stop her bothering me?
Q. I came on here not too many days ago stating my ex girlfriend of five years had me feeling unsettled. I stated we have been broken up for at least six months. She constantly contacted me and I responded cordially. Perhaps a friendship could come of ...
A. 14 December 2015: I'd get a restraining order and (if you have their info) contact her family or close friends and notify them about her threats of suicide. So she can get some help.
After that? Refuse to talk to her. BLOCK her number she can't text you - call the... (read in full...)
Why do people feel the need to try to set me up with guys I'm not interested in?
Q. This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am almost never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) ...
A. 14 December 2015: It it NOT rude for you to tell your friends to STOP trying to set you up. Nor is it rude to excuse yourself from the situation where they are trying to set you up and simply walk away. And it's not rude either to TELL a guy they are trying to set ... (read in full...)
He seems to feel resentment towards me. Should I sever contact with him and leave him alone?
Q. Ok, the story goes thus. I jilted a guy that liked me when I was 17 in the university some years back. I wasn't dating guy no 1 in particular but he had voiced out his intentions. I made him wait and then dated another guy. I remember the look on ...
A. 13 December 2015: It sounds so utterly unhealthy and pointless to keep this guy in your life.
He feels entitled to treat you like crap because you "jilted" him when you were 17... SERIOUSLY?! You weren't interested in dating him back then and THAT was that. It... (read in full...)
I am worried that raising this issue will ruin my friendship with my friend. But do I confront her about my concerns?
Q. My friend and her fiancé came to visit me at home yesterday. Her fiancé used our toilet which is upstairs (our house only has 1 toilet). He was in there a while and when he came back down he started asking me if I know where he could buy a Ferrari ...
A. 13 December 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
This is totally unacceptable and I would bring it up. And ... I wouldn't have them over as a couple for dinner in a very long while. I don't think it's EVER appropriate for someone to go through another person's bedroom ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm her 2nd option. Is it time to end this friendship? Sick of her letting me down.
Q. I am so frustrated with my friend because whenever we make plans to meet up or go out she always cancels last minute and its beginning to really annoy me! For example we had dinner plans the other week. I went to the restaurant and got us a tab...
A. 13 December 2015: I agree with Cindy here. I would become totally unavailable from now on.
She is not only wasting your money, but your time and patience too.
She chooses playing with her mother's dog over meeting up for a dinner SHE planned... The dog will be ... (read in full...)
Was this a marriage proposal?
Q. I'm not sure if I got a marriage proposal last night or not. I know that sounds strange, let me explain. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing, no ring or anything. We were walking around our local park which is decorated in christmas lights i...
A. 12 December 2015: Nope, that was a "sending feelers out". At least in my book. He was basically asking If you would say yes, IF he proposed.
So I wouldn't take it as a proposal.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend mentioned an FFM as a 'passing thought' and now I'm worried he's tired of me
Q. Just trying to understand where my boyfriend is coming from. When he came to see me yesterday he was mentioning seeing two women together. How he was thinking about why men would find it appealing. He said that men like to see women climax. An...
A. 12 December 2015: I think the fact that he felt (before the drama) that he can talk to you about anything is a good thing, if this is the first and only time he has brought it up I don't think it's because he is bored with you or your sex-life.
Talking about fa... (read in full...)
My morther's behaviour at my wedding upset me
Q. I got married 2 months ago and I noticed that on my wedding day my mother was very cold towards me. Just to give you a brief outline- my mother is a control freak and at times can be toxic. As a child I suffered greatly with her being both ...
A. 12 December 2015: Accept that this is who she is. And accept that you can not change HER or her behavior from 2 months ago.
You need to accept that you CAN NOT rely on her to behave like you think a mom should behave. She just don't seem to care what yo might ne... (read in full...)
Is it too soon for me to move in with my boyfriend?
Q. How soon is to soon to move in with someone? My bf and I have been dating for six months , I've known him for almost a year. My lease is up at the end of January and he asked me to move in with him instead of getting a new place. He said ...
A. 12 December 2015: Sit down and make a budget with him, set up house rules, split the chores etc FIRST.
For some this is too soon, for others it works just fine. If you have spend the majority of the last 6 months at his place anyways, I'd give it a go. IF you are ... (read in full...)
His drinking has become a major issue. Help!
Q. Dear cupid When my fiance goes out on nights out alone with his friends he gets stupidly drunk to the point he can't stand. He sways. He makes a total mess of himself or gets argumentative or very unpredictable. He even ended up going missing fo...
A. 12 December 2015: Sounds like he actually needs help. Most of adults know when to quit, but he seems to keep drinking and drinking. Which suggests to me that he has issues with alcohol.
I wold make an ultimatum here (and I'm NOT a huge fan of those) but... there wo... (read in full...)
Is marriage really necessary? But sex is necessary for our continuity.
Q. I am not an anti marriage advocate. Infact, I route for it. But then one thinks is marriage really necessary. Afterall, marriage is not necessary for our continuity on this earth, it's sex and reproduction. The reason for asking this is because ...
A. 11 December 2015: You are right Nonny-male
I should have added that people who have kids (regardless of gender) all willy nilly and just because they CAN reproduce aren't exactly who should be building the next generations.... (read in full...)
Do breasts get bigger by being touched?
Q. hi....last time i went for a date with my boyfriend and while kissing he alys touches my brest and now i feels like my brest getting bigger so does the brest become bigger when touched?...
A. 11 December 2015: And to add onto Chigirl's advice - they also seem to grow during the part of the cycle where you ovulate and of course... when pregnant.
... (read in full...)
How do I know for sure if my suspicions that my boyfriend's younger sister is gay, and what should I do, or not do?
Q. Hi everyone My boyfriend has a 19 year old sister (I will just call her "Jane") and I have known her for many years but have recently realized something that is not quite normal about her. She is extremely pretty but has never had a boyfriend or e...
A. 11 December 2015: You do nothing, it's basically none of your business. So WHAT if she is a lesbian? Or bisexual? Or straight? Who cares?! It's HER life to live.
She is 19, not 9.
You make YOUR life choices, SHE gets to make her own.
As for the kissing, I... (read in full...)
Is marriage really necessary? But sex is necessary for our continuity.
Q. I am not an anti marriage advocate. Infact, I route for it. But then one thinks is marriage really necessary. Afterall, marriage is not necessary for our continuity on this earth, it's sex and reproduction. The reason for asking this is because ...
A. 11 December 2015: Is it necessary?
Not really. It's another social construct created to attempt to have some kind of control over reproduction, bloodlines and I guess to try and make moral rules for people to follow.
Sex isn't necessary for our continuity eithe... (read in full...)
She told me she runs if a guy falls for her. Did she run?
Q. We are a new couple, three months, we haven't had a argument, every thing been sweet, she hasn't called or tex in four days, I've texted three times, I haven't heard anything from her, is it over, she told me in the beginning, if a guy started to ...
A. 10 December 2015: If she runs when she fall for people, I guess it's better that it happens after 3 months not a year or two.
As for her not texting for 4 days, have you tried picking up that phone of yours and CALLED her?
Personally, if someone told me ... (read in full...)
Is he that afraid of his ex or just a no good POS that is showing his true colors?
Q. Ok this is really immature of me but I usually tend to mimick whoever I'm with one of those you do this I'll do the same kind of things. Now it's about dreaded Facebook. So I've been with my guy for a little over a year and we both had accounts (I ...
A. 10 December 2015: I know that people seem to put a LOT of significance into Facebook and Facebook related crap, but it IS just Facebook.
As for her hurting her child over it? If he thought that was possible then he is a VERY neglectful parent. I mean WHAT father i... (read in full...)
I'm finding her persistent acne a turnoff
Q. I don't want this this to come off the wrong way, but I need some help. I love my fiancée and we have a great relationship. I'm physically attracted to her but I find myself turned off a lot because of her acne issues. She's dealt with rea...
A. 9 December 2015: jls022 gave extensive and great advice. I can't improve on that, but I can add that I feel a lot of sympathy for people with skin issues, because in this day and age everyone expects everyone else to look and be perfect - yet they don't grasp the ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose myself in relationships anymore. Any advice on moving on?
Q. I just recently ended a long distance relationship. Over the summer, I had met what I thought was a great guy- truly a man and different from the rest. Although we were close in age, he was still several hours away at a military academy during t...
A. 9 December 2015: OK I'm not going to coddle you here...
The guy was not only abusive, he was NOT the guy you had hoped or wished him to be. This fantasy "a great guy- truly a man and different from the rest" didn't exist.
And you (like so many other women) tho... (read in full...)
Why is he backing away like this? How should I handle his behaviour?
Q. I am 25yrs old female while my guy is 31yrs old we both love each other so much but later i noticed he refuses to introduce me to any of his family members apart from his friends. I asked him why that he if truly he loves me doing that is not a pr...
A. 9 December 2015: You write " We both love each other so much" - but his behavior isn't that of a guy who loves his lady.
This is a guy who is trying VERY hard to DUMP you in a cowardly way by "faking" another girl into the picture.
Block and delete him and M... (read in full...)
What can I do? Should I meet a man who can only tolerate my much loved resucue dog?
Q. I was really looking forward to meeting a man I have have been talking online to. This morning he dropped the bombshell he would only ever"tolerate" a dog and his argument is he thinks its cruel to keep them as pets anyway. I am quite hurt as my do...
A. 9 December 2015: Online dating can be hit or miss.. With this guy? I'd vote no meeting up. He goes in the "miss" pile.
And don't toss out the "tolerate" about his kids. Just because he "went there" doesn't mean you have to jump in the "rude-gutter" and join him... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a fetish for bald guys. Should I shave my head for her?
Q. I used to notice that my girl liked to check out older guys when they walked past her, before I realized it was actually guys with clean shaven heads that she has this weird thing for. She said she found bald guys really hot. Well I found it weeeird ...
A. 9 December 2015: That depends, whether YOU want to or not. If yo don't, I think it's perfectly fine to say no. If you do, I'd wait till spring. (don't do it in summer or winter for obvious reasons).
My thing is this though, let's say YOU had a fetish too - for bl... (read in full...)
I felt betrayed when my best friend told my ex everything I'd said about him
Q. I have known my best friend for 9 years. I have told her things.. Very personal things, about my ex, our relationship, how I cheated on him, and that didn't want to be with him anymore . I trusted her with this information, and weeks later she told ...
A. 9 December 2015: I would cut her off 100%. Her actions weren't those of a Best Friend but one of a girl who was waiting for you to break up so she could cut in, and have a go with him.
My guess is she also advised you to "just" break up with him, am I right? S... (read in full...)
I've been told I'm proud, why can't I change?
Q. Hello cupids, I have posted on this forum about being called proud. But I would like to remain anonymous right now. I am at the brink of breaking down as I type this. I have a strong personality and I am self reliant. I would not do what people s...
A. 9 December 2015: I agree with Cindy.
Nothing you mention in your updates makes me think you should take being called "proud" as a negative thing. Even if.. your family meant it as a negative thing.
I see nothing wrong in wanting nothing to do with someone who... (read in full...)
My husband said I'm not as tight down there as the other girls he's been with
Q. I recently got married and it's my first time losing my virginity to my guy , we have had sex a couple of times and his complaining about that I'm loose down there and he doesn't enjoy sex with me he said his been with other girls before me and it ...
A. 8 December 2015: OK so your BF have been with a handful of girls before you. So he has "felt" a handful of vaginas. YOUR GYNO has seen 100's if not 1,000's of vaginas and have a LONG medical education - WHO do you think knows more? Hmm, not a hard one to answer ... (read in full...)
Gay men flirt with my boyfriend in front of me and he likes the attention
Q. We have been together a year and a half. We have a good relationship and sex life.He seems attracted to me and he's very physically affectionate. He says he's in love with me and wants to have children get married all that fairy tale stuff. ...
A. 8 December 2015: I think your BF is somewhat of an attention whore and that he ENJOYS making you feel a little insecure from time to time. But he also ONLY mention men hitting on him? If so he doesn't want to make YOU feel crappy about yourself.
While he may not ... (read in full...)
I've been told I'm proud, why can't I change?
Q. Hello cupids, I have posted on this forum about being called proud. But I would like to remain anonymous right now. I am at the brink of breaking down as I type this. I have a strong personality and I am self reliant. I would not do what people s...
A. 8 December 2015: What is exactly wrong in being proud?
I don't think it's genetic, it might be learned behavior - as my mom called it - monkey see, monkey do. (not calling yo a monkey, but yo get the gist I hope).
So if growing up with "arrogant" paren... (read in full...)
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