His family want us to marry, mine don't!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I 'was' dating this guy for a little over two years. We have both met each other's families and all was well until last December when his family started asking him to get married. Now the problem is I am in my early 20s ...
A. 27 February 2017: First off, don't worry about your family. While they might seem to want to tell you what to do, they REALLY are doing it out of love.
They know he isn't a good match for you, they know he doesn't make you happy and that he doesn't pull his weig... (read in full...)
I do not enjoy being 30 pounds overweight. How do I come to terms with the fact that the medication I must take is also making it much harder to lose weight?
Q. A combination of menopause and necessary medication is making it extremely hard for me to lose weight . The medication is actually what caused the weight gain and through working with my dr I did try alternatives but nothing else seemed to work for...
A. 27 February 2017: Talk to your doctor. And then see a dietitian.
It took me 8 months of exercising and changing my eating habits before I lost ANYTHING and I really wanted to give up, but I didn't. Lost 60 lbs over a year. ( that is, it actually took 20 months, ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being truthful about his parents?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three years now. He's currently in his forties. We broke up last year for about a month because he and I talked about getting married but then when we actually started trying to pick a date he told me ...
A. 27 February 2017: He doesn't want to marry you OP. And I don't think it's his parents who are pulling THAT string, that is just his excuse.
And the thing is IF the issue his parents had was your race - your sex life had nothing to do with it. YOU can't change y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to be attracted to transgender women!
Q. A few weeks ago I noticed my boyfriend had sent a friend request to a young lady. When I went to her page her pics were mostly of her in sexy lingerie and telling all to visit her on webcam. I also noticed she had obvious breast implants and a ...
A. 27 February 2017: I think regardless of it may or may not be a transgender person, he is "befriending" women who OBVIOUSLY uses Facebook for other reasons than to make "friends". And your BF certainly isn't looking to make a new friend either.
He is on that per... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid or is this married guy trying to make a move on me?
Q. Theres this married guy I know, I always catch him looking at me then looking down when I catch him. I always got the impression he would actively try and avoid sitting next to me but he always sat straight across from me so he could see me. But ...
A. 27 February 2017:
I think he is being inappropriate and testing your limits. So in a sense, I think he is grooming you to think this is all normal behavior when really? For a married man, it isn't.
If I were you I'd get up and move away if he sits next to you ... (read in full...)
Can anything be saved in my marriage. If so, how?
Q. I need help.. my wife of 33 years has slept in separate room for 5 years.. she works but dosent contribute to mortgage, and all her income goes into her own bank. Mine goes into joint account, and she buys things out of this account. We have no ...
A. 26 February 2017: I don't think she is really ever gotten over your cheating. However, she should NOT have agreed to reconciliation if she was going to hold it over your head for the rest of your days.
Are you really happy in this marriage? Doesn't sound like you... (read in full...)
Date expressed a racial preference and it doesn't sit welll
Q. I've been dating this guy for the last few weeks. He fawns over me, is the harmless geeky sort, does everything for me like buy me flowers and get me coffee and text me constantly. He hit on me first and I was surprised he was so enthusiastic. I'm ...
A. 26 February 2017: I would really feel like a piece of meat with this guy. I understand that WE all have preferences when it comes to attraction. But saying that ONLY south Asian are his preference makes me think definitely fetish. Because let's face it, you can find ... (read in full...)
New man doesn't want me to go to fetish party
Q. I arranged to go to kinky, fetish-scene party while single but now have new boyfriend who doesn't want me to go. Am I being unreasonable still wanting to go, even though he doesn't like it, and is not into that. He thinks I will be looking for ...
A. 26 February 2017: I think you have picked a BF who isn't a good match for you, at least not sexually.
He is NOT into fetish, so I can understand why he doesn't think you should go. This is not like a hobby, like collecting stamps, going to watch polo or hike for... (read in full...)
He's been flirting with me, but after seeing him out with another woman I'm not sure how he really feels!
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles I met a guy nearly two years ago. Did not like him to begin. Then started to get to know him and he started flirting he gave me his number. Cutting a long story short, we have been talking for many weeks and my feelings h...
A. 26 February 2017: He was unsettled that you had feelings for him? and told you to back off or tone it down? BY him?
If so, quit while you are ahead. STOP the flirting and regard him as ANY other co-worker.
If he was REALLY interested IN you (in a romantic way) ... (read in full...)
He's a handsome foreigner, twice-divorced, aged 60. But all is not well in the relationship. Is it time to break up with him?
Q. Hello, I´m a single working mother of two. One is 13yo and the second 5yo. Six months ago I met a handsome foreigner twice-divorced aged 60. After 2 months, he came to live with us. He´s the first man to ever enter my household because I´ve alw...
A. 25 February 2017: I think, you AND ESPECIALLY, your kids will be better off without this guy.
If course his kids are PERFECT! he isn't the one raising them! Their mother is! And HE doesn't spend time with them 24/7 so what he CHOOSES to see and remember of his kids... (read in full...)
I'm losing the love I used to have for my boyfriend. How do I let go?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, known him for four. Over the past month or so I've felt my feelings towards him just fade. When he text me I feel myself drain, when he holds me I feel a little uncomfortable, just little things l...
A. 25 February 2017: Be honest with yourself and HIM and let him go. Even if he cries or doesn't WANT to lose you, it's better, in the long run, to end it for BOTH your sakes.
And then TAKE a good few months being single. Don't promise "friendship" with him - just CUT... (read in full...)
Should I ? I'm tempted to contact the other people involved and ask them
Q. Looking for some advice here.. About a year ago, I found out that my fiancée and two of her (our?) friends had been exchanging intimate photos - and had even been together a couple of times. I confronted her, she broke down, told me that the o...
A. 25 February 2017: If it continued to happen AFTER you two got together WHY are you still with her?
I mean, it's sort of obvious that you don't condone or would cheat yourself, so WHY stay with her when you found out?
I think one of the reasons this is hurting ... (read in full...)
Do I ask her out online or in person? She is shy.
Q. I don't know if I should ask her out in person or online? We talk often, and get along well. In fact I often see her staring, and all of the signs that tell me she likes me are clear now. She's shy, and probably won't ask me out herself, so I thin...
A. 25 February 2017: I'd ask her in person. No matter if she is shy or not.... (read in full...)
How do I tell someone that their romantic feelings toward me are not mutual?
Q. I'm not into relationships at all, just casual stuff mainly. However, a guy I've recently been seeing thinks he's fallen in love with me and wants to be in a relationship. The issue is I can't bring myself to tell him that's not what I want. I'm ...
A. 25 February 2017: Honestly? If one of the MUTUAL friends bring up the topic of him and you, tell them that you ONLY see him as a friend and you would like for them to stop bringing up the topic as you think it would be hurtful for the guy in question to think there ... (read in full...)
She's still sharing a bed with her partner of 6 years! What do I do?
Q. Hi I'm seeing a girl and have been for over 6 months but she's still living with her partner of 6 years ... I did know her before and was common knoledge they were not close ... she promised me she would leave once she got the finance to move out ...
A. 24 February 2017: I think you have to ask yourself IF you want to be a piece of ass on the side or not. Because right now, YOU ARE.
She might stay with her partner out of financial reason, which I think is rather callous and calculating. She might stay because ... (read in full...)
Should I ? I'm tempted to contact the other people involved and ask them
Q. Looking for some advice here.. About a year ago, I found out that my fiancée and two of her (our?) friends had been exchanging intimate photos - and had even been together a couple of times. I confronted her, she broke down, told me that the o...
A. 24 February 2017: I agree. DO NOT go behind her back on this. THEY have nothing to lose by telling you lies or embellish the truth.
If you don't trust her fully ( and I don't blame you) you need to NOT get married anytime soon. THIS needs to be resolved ONE way ... (read in full...)
I feel he guilt trips me into staying with him.
Q. My partner needs help with his anger and possessive behaviour , how do I help him .. I know I can't help him he needs a professional but what do I do in this process !? It's sounds horrible because im finding it hard to believe he will change and ...
A. 24 February 2017: Can people change?
Yes.
Do they?
Not always.
I don't think YOUR BF will change. He ONLY said he would get help to try and get you to stay. ALL words, no action. He never sought help, so really? How interested IS he in changing him... (read in full...)
Sucking on breasts. Is that so enjoyable that it can be described as an act of love and deeply satisfying when between two adults in a relationship?
Q. Dear Cupids Having experienced the wonder of a female friend breastfeeding her child a question arose. When a woman breastfeeds her child, it's a highly beneficial situation for both of them. Not only in nourishing, but also for bonding, cl...
A. 23 February 2017: No, OP having a kink isn't generally something negative. WE ALL have kinks.
The time when a "kink" IS something negative is when it's either not consensual, appropriate or healthy.
As for your kink, I think it's great IF your partner(s) love ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the residual odor of cigarettes is drifting into my apartment from the apartment below. How can I get rid of the odour?
Q. I am 6 months pregnant and iv literally tried everything for the cigarette odor that has been drifting in my room from the apartment beneath me to disappear. I talked with the neighbors below me, but they didn't seem like they would change. And si...
A. 23 February 2017: I think it's only natural that you have noticed the smell more now that you are pregnant. For whatever reason, pregnant women can get hyper sensitive with smells, touch, taste.
I couldn't stand the smell of raw meat when pregnant with my first. N... (read in full...)
Chaotic childhood. Do I leave it ? do I dig further to find out more about my mother?
Q. My upbringing was somewhat chaotic. my father 19 when he had me and my mother a drug addict. Me and my twin sister were removed from her care at 1 years old and spent sometime in a foster home until a relative fostered us. we were given a little ...
A. 23 February 2017: I think we all would really want to know - even if our mom was Lizzie Borden. However, it doesn't mean that KNOWING, would improve your lives. What would you do with the knowledge?
If she was addicted to drugs there are SO many things she could ha... (read in full...)
We were on a break for 2 weeks and he got a woman pregnant. I dont't know how I feel about this
Q. Hi my question is that I have been seeing a guy casually for about 8 months now. We had quite a big argument about 6 weeks ago and there were was no contact for 2 weeks, then he got in touch, so we started talking again. Whilst we were havin...
A. 23 February 2017: You were seeing him CASUALLY, so not REALLY in a serious relationship. And if a fight made you two NOT talk for two weeks well then it WAS over, you don't need an "official" statement that it's over or not. People who fight so bad that they VUT the ... (read in full...)
Why don't my men value my looks?
Q. All my life I have had relationships with men who turned out to not be physically attracted to me. Four relationships in fact. Each was attracted to me for other reasons but the physical just wasn't one and it always ended up being an issue. This ...
A. 23 February 2017: OP you wrote:
"This was especially true in my marriage where my husband dissatisfaction with my appearance lead him to become very critical and spend excessive time looking at other women he found attractive."
I think you got this backward. I... (read in full...)
How do I gauge how much interest a guy really has in me? I want a guy who cares
Q. I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I would meet guys there, but I never expected to find a guy who was really into me. Usually at that eve...
A. 23 February 2017: I think it's fine to go out on dates here and there and not just put your life on hold for ONE guy AS LONG AS you are OK with him doing the same.
And then, of course, there is the whole PRACTICAL issues, like do you REALLY want another LDR?... (read in full...)
The way he manages money puts marriage in doubt
Q. Hi, So I have a question regarding relationships and finances. What do you think about being in a relationship with a guy who says that it will be a long time before he can get married, and the reason is that he is in a lot of debt because of ...
A. 23 February 2017: Is he just bad with money and not likely to get it paid off and is in no hurry to get married?
BOTH
While being a generous person is a nice trait, it doesn't work so well if he is in DEBT to do so.
Also "the girl" can decline a present... (read in full...)
Should I message her on facebook, or should I just leave it?
Q. I went out on monday night for a student night and I met this really nice girl where we danced. I bought her a drink. She had a friend who was dancing with my friend but he left somewhere and I ended up going to see one of my other friends, but I sa...
A. 22 February 2017:
Oh and OP, I'd include in the message how you found her Facebook page through the club. That way it doesn't come across as you spending HOURS stalking her online lol.
... (read in full...)
How do I gauge how much interest a guy really has in me? I want a guy who cares
Q. I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I would meet guys there, but I never expected to find a guy who was really into me. Usually at that eve...
A. 22 February 2017: I probably wouldn't date multiple guys if you are interested in this one. I KNOW it's a common thing these days to "not put all your eggs in one basket" and date one person, BUT personally I think you easier to get to know someone if you don't ... (read in full...)
Sucking on breasts. Is that so enjoyable that it can be described as an act of love and deeply satisfying when between two adults in a relationship?
Q. Dear Cupids Having experienced the wonder of a female friend breastfeeding her child a question arose. When a woman breastfeeds her child, it's a highly beneficial situation for both of them. Not only in nourishing, but also for bonding, cl...
A. 22 February 2017: Is it an act of true love?
Personally, I don't think so. I think the term "true love" is not really sexual AT ALL. For me, true love is basically "unconditionally loving" - which... still has limits even if it's called unconditionally.
It's a ... (read in full...)
Should I message her on facebook, or should I just leave it?
Q. I went out on monday night for a student night and I met this really nice girl where we danced. I bought her a drink. She had a friend who was dancing with my friend but he left somewhere and I ended up going to see one of my other friends, but I sa...
A. 22 February 2017: I'd give it a try too.
If she doesn't respond or talk to you then don't message her again, but sending her a:" Hey, had fun dancing and chatting with you the other night" or something like that would be fine.
If she answers in a positive way T... (read in full...)
I can't get in contact with my love who has moved on to another country. How can I deal with his absence?
Q. This boy that I have fallen in love with has moved to Spain and I have no way of getting in touch with him. Although he is back in summer but that's 5 months away. I'm worried he might find another girl whilst he's there and everyday I worry an...
A. 22 February 2017: If he left without telling you and didn't make sure you had an address, e-mail, Facebook or phone number - I don't think he is all that keen on BEING with you.
I mean if the shoe was on the other foot would YOU do that to someone you cared ab... (read in full...)
How do I gauge how much interest a guy really has in me? I want a guy who cares
Q. I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I would meet guys there, but I never expected to find a guy who was really into me. Usually at that eve...
A. 22 February 2017: I'd be a little leery of a guy who makes sure YOU know that during the day he can't talk on the phone.
Though I fully understand that there ARE people who work during work hours and don't have the time for texting and calling and I think it's OK,... (read in full...)
He looks at naked women online but said he'd leave if I posted nudes of myself!
Q. I want to post nude pics of myself on an amateur site . It excites me to imagine men getting off to pictures of my naked body . My husband is against it and says he will leave . He looks at other men's wives naked and at porn . Why is it ok for him ...
A. 21 February 2017: I agree with YouWish,
You are comparing apples and oranges.
If he had issues with YOU watching porn or him posting nudes of himself, then I'd say it's a double standard. But he doesn't WANT you to be a "spank bank image" for other men and ho... (read in full...)
Why do I allow him to treat me like trash, throw me out and then let him back into my life?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate some outside perspective on the situation I'm currently dealing with. I started dating someone last year that I had known for about 10 years though granted we were mostly only acquaintances during that time with limited int...
A. 21 February 2017: Sounds like you are "addicted" to drama. You KNOW he is NOT going to change and treat you as you deserve, yet you continue to talk to him and LET him jerk you around.
Do you think if there is a lot of drama there MUST be a lot of passion too? If ... (read in full...)
Is it over the top to want my first date ever to be nice and memorable?
Q. I've never actually been on a date before despite being my early 20s. I'm OK looking and friendly so I've been asked out, I just haven't wanted to as I am a busy girl. Anyway, I've joined an online dating site for fun and got a fair few offers ...
A. 21 February 2017: I think going for coffee is actually a good idea. You say you don't want to date someone unless you like them, BUT you kind of have to meet them get to know them BEFORE you know if you like them enough to pursue anything at all.
And frankly?... (read in full...)
Is he confused? Playing me? Using me as a rebound?
Q. I was seeing a guy for few months, he told me he loved me multiple times but all whilst drunk, i responded saying that i did like him but didn't love him. The last time he said it he made little to no effort to see me, when he would normally come ...
A. 21 February 2017: Did you even bother to read the responses on your post about the SAME guy, same subject?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/if-he-misses-his-ex-does-that-mean.html... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but after 3 years I am not sure that I want to be with her
Q. How can i break up with my girlfriend? Im not sure if i even want to. We have been together for three years. We have been having problems recently. She told me she was not sure where we were going, that we were stuck in the same old patterns doing ...
A. 21 February 2017: I think what you had PRIOR to the "break" might have been something that could have been build upon and continued, but I think when SHE decided she wanted to try another flavor of "man" she SHOULD have been prepared to GIVE you up 100%. So YOU could ... (read in full...)
I hope I'm wrong but wonder based on these signs if should I just move on?
Q. I normally have a really good intuition about relationships and men, but oftentimes ignore it in hopes that I am wrong. I'm sort of hoping that I'm wrong this time around, but I digress. I met with this guy about a month ago. He is older than me...
A. 21 February 2017: OK, I have to agree with Wise and Anonymous 123, I don't see MAJOR red flags, just a guy who ISN'T into you as much as you are into him.
1. YOU make ALL the effort to keep communication going - unless it's to make plans. So basically he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I normal for hoping he could overcome his alcoholism?
Q. I want to know if I am normal. I have been involved with an alcoholic on/of for ten years. I miss him deeply, like I am vexed. My mind knows the truth but my heart can not get the message. I weigh out the cons but the love I feel and felt outweighs ...
A. 21 February 2017: Do you accept the blame he puts on you? That it's all your fault? I really hope you don't. Because it's NOT your fault. WE ALL have to live with the choices we make.
If he quit drinking for his son, good. Maybe you DID have a positive influenc... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend is making me chose between him and my daughter
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost six years and my daughter recently moved out to go to college and tends to come home in the weekends. There have been several occasions where my boyfriend has made comments about my daughter getting ...
A. 20 February 2017: May I venture a guess that HE has no kids himself?
I think you need to sit him down and LAY down the rules of your HOUSE. (if the house is yours). That YOU LIKE her coming home on weekends and want her around. Let's face it, it won't be long bef... (read in full...)
Is he just being a generous best friend, who loves my company? Or is he in love with me?
Q. Good morning Aunties, I have a mighty problem I need help with. I am a bisexual man, 33 years of age. I am attracted to this 19 year old guy. He says he doesn't love me as a lover but as a friend. He says he is Christian and that his parent woul...
A. 20 February 2017: I don't think he is in love with you or unsure. He likes this PLATONIC close friendship with you.
YOU HAVE to accept that he isn't INTO you sexually AT ALL.
I also wonder about the financial side of this relationship. Are you funding his educ... (read in full...)
Should I ask if we are boyfriend and girlfriend?
Q. I have been dating a guy I met on tinder since December. We seem to get on really well and I feel that we always have good dates. After the 10th date, we slept together and have slept together a few times since. We have now probably been on...
A. 20 February 2017: I think it's fair enough to ask him WHAT are we after 15 dates and also to talk EXCLUSIVITY.
If he says:" you are my GF of course!" And yes to exclusivity THEN I'd bring up a:" maybe we both should delete Tindr."
It is NOT RUINING anything... (read in full...)
I don't in the slightest trust this artist who she met for lunch recently . Am I just insecure?
Q. I am engaged to be married (2nd time for both of us). Because of her work my wife to be has developed many male friends/acquaintances including some who have been keen to take it further than platonic. She presents very innocently of al...
A. 20 February 2017: Why should you trust him or even like him?
But, if you let your distrust in THIS (or any other guy) creep in and take over you are letting this (or other) man create waves where there aren't any.
I don't think your wife-to-be is at ALL intere... (read in full...)
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