I found out my brother has been having an affair. Should I tell his wife or keep quiet?
Q. My brother has been having an affair with a single woman who is 15 years his junior. It has been ongoing for more than 3 years. I am very close to his wife and kids and accidentally found out about it last week when he sent me a text meant for h...
A. 26 January 2017: I'm with YouWish,
I would tell him: YOU tell your wife OR O do".
Give him the chance to do the right thing.... (read in full...)
Is this an emotional affair? ?
Q. Is this an emotional affair? ? ? Last March- my husband of 27 years (M) was working at a customer's house (he's a contractor), and one day a woman (T) who lived across the street came over to bum a cigarette from one of M's workers. She a...
A. 25 January 2017: Yes, it IS an emotional affair. He is emotionally invested in her, like someone would be when they are dating someone - sex or no sex.
The fact that he CHOSE to get a second phone means (to me at least) that he HAD and HAS no intention of honoring... (read in full...)
I ranted about a friend to another friend and he told her what I said!
Q. A very good male friend and I used to work at the same workplace with another woman. A few months ago this woman told me to join her new company as we had all been made redundant. I got a job there a few months after her but she failed to tell me ...
A. 25 January 2017: No need to deny it, what you said wasn't a lie or offensive. And NOW you know this male friend will try and "fix" things you vent about, so maybe not spill the kind of "beans" you don't want to get back to whomever. At least not to him.
And I... (read in full...)
How do I deal with insensitive remarks about infertility?
Q. My husband and I had a lot of difficulty to have our baby. After years of fertility appointments, I managed to conceive naturally and we had our miracle baby. I love him more than words can say. However, I have not forgotten the pain I went through ...
A. 25 January 2017: How can I deal with insensitive remarks like this in a positive way?
But not taking them to heart and carry them around.
THEIR insensitive remarks are THEIRS and not a reflection of you or your fertility. YOU can't fix stupid or rude.
Most... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to notice me in a positive way and in a sexual way
Q. My boyfriend seems to not notice me in a positive way or sexual way. I don't know if it's because he's more attracted to his video games or I'm just not attractive enough, but either way it's lowering my self esteem. What can I do to make him notice ...
A. 25 January 2017:
I have to say a young guy your age choosing video games over his GF is just NOT ready for anything serious.
You can't and shouldn't compare yourself to a video game.
If you are spending time at his house and he RATHER play video games tha... (read in full...)
What's the purpose of relationships when all it does is give someone power to hurt you?
Q. Three years ago I was dating someone and it ended very horribly. She left me for another guy and it left me distressed beyond anything I had ever felt. I treated her with respect, listened to her when she spoke, and did what I thought was love her...
A. 24 January 2017: The purpose of a relationship is not about power. At least not for most.
USUALLY, it's pretty basic - it's about finding a mate with whom you want to produce and raise offspring.
For some, it's less about the offspring but to have someone to ... (read in full...)
Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security?
Q. Does being rich make a guy sexier, or does he just offer more security? What is better in a guy who is 20-30 years old.. Being super rich (through inheritance or the lottery), or having an $US80k job?...
A. 24 January 2017: Having money doesn't make a person "sexy". It takes a little more than that. Having money or making money offers a partner a STABLE partner and for SOME women, status and security.
Being a great person, who gives an F is more likely to be attracti... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble coping with my boyfriend's past. He was involved with several of my friends!
Q. Hello! I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and before this we were good friends for 6 years. I am having trouble over some things he did in his past and I have struggled with these throughout all of our relationship. These prob...
A. 24 January 2017: So why date him?
He can't change the facts or whom he has slept with. For you to drag it UP every few weeks is unfair. YOU had the choice to date or NOT date him and YOU chose to date him. So you could hit him over the head with the fact that he ... (read in full...)
Is it degrading to let a guy ejaculate on you?
Q. When I was 15, my mother sat me down and had "the talk". She is very open and liberal, so we ended up talking about everything from sex and birth control to relationships and life in general. One of the things she was adamant about was that por...
A. 23 January 2017: If YOU enjoy it, it's NOT degrading.
If you don't, you tell him no.
... (read in full...)
Just found out that my LDR is happily married. Do I confront him?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months.. We are in a LDR, but he's very caring, sweet and romantic...keeps in touch. But one thing that continually bothers me is that he never calls me at night! Two days back, I was viewing his profile on s...
A. 23 January 2017: I would NOT give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he has hurt you.
I would BLOCK him, Remove him from ALL social media, and block/delete his phone number. If he finds a way to contact you, THEN I'd tell him that he is a disgusting cheating... (read in full...)
She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?
Q. I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...
A. 23 January 2017: Either you want to send flowers as a Thank You or.... as a romantic gesture for Valentine's Day.
So decide which it is and go for it. But don't "combine" the two things. Saying thank you with flowers is NOT necessarily a romantic gesture, and send... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of getting my blood work done and it's crippling me emotionally. I can't function anymore!
Q. I really need help. I don't know how I am ever going to do this? I do blood work every year as part of an annual physical. It has been awhile since I've done it. I have been putting it off since last August because I am deathly afraid there is ...
A. 23 January 2017: I agree with Tisha,
Get some therapy on top of doing the annual visit.
I'm due for a mammogram, pelvic exam, and swabs, flu and pneumonia shots, blood tests etc. - tomorrow and I have a HUGE fear of not only germs but doctor's offices and wait... (read in full...)
How can an older woman feel sexy when their partner obesesses over girls 20 years younger?
Q. How does an older woman ever feel good enough or sexy enough especially when her partner is obsessed with watching women twenty years younger than her. I know the usual answer is to ' realise he is with you and if he wanted that he would have that ' ...
A. 23 January 2017: I am also curious WHEN this "obsession" with younger women happens.
And sorry, OP I don't agree that " I have to realize he is with you and if he wanted that he would have that".
NO ONE would want to be with a man who makes them feel LESS t... (read in full...)
We need couples counselling but all his nit-picking is wearing me down. How should I handle this?
Q. I live with my (16 years older) boyfriend. We've been together for a few years, but we're not married yet and I'm pretty sure I know why we haven't taken that step yet. He has openly stated that he's concerned about my absent-mindedness and ...
A. 23 January 2017: I agree with WiseOlwE
You the are NOT a great match. And I don't think counseling will change anything.
I think IF you two get married? He will be even more "nagging" than he is now.
Sorry.
He can't "train" you and you can't "train... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore
Q. Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...
A. 23 January 2017: Well, if he is a Muslim, he can't really have a GF before marriage. It's VERY much their culture and religion. (though not all of them follow THOSE rules).
IF he is a "good" son, he will listen to his parents (another rule).
That fact tha... (read in full...)
My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.
Q. My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...
A. 23 January 2017: You "guest" was out of line. TOTALLY out of line.
Your SON had the RIGHT and EXPECTATIONS of PRIVACY in "his" own home. What your guest did was an invasion of privacy and offensive.
So, no your SON was not out of line. Your guest was. What ... (read in full...)
Trust issues. Is it just my anxiety or should I be worried?
Q. This is a little bit of a long story. My boyfriend used to be in a band, and is still in contact with a girl who was really into them. She lives really really far away, and only knew about them because a band member was planning on moving away t...
A. 22 January 2017: Take her out of the equation for a minute.
DO you trust him OR not?
If you do, presume he knows what is appropriate behavior. And if you doubt a little, sit him down and talk boundaries. Ask him straight up if he would be OK with you talking... (read in full...)
Do these fake profiles suggest he's living a double life?
Q. Hello,so let me start off by saying that my boyfriend(in his 30s) has never been the ''social media'' type of guy or at least that's what he told me, He does not like pictures to be taken of him or even with me!, so one day during thanksgiving 2014 ...
A. 22 January 2017: It makes no sense to have a fake FB, it's not like he can add friends, right? Since he doesn't use his own name, so WHO does he "befriend" and what does he use it for? And then having 2? That makes no sense.
Not wanting his picture taken can be... (read in full...)
My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?
Q. My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...
A. 22 January 2017: Whether you want to give her second chance or not is entirely up to you.
Personally? I wouldn't touch her with a 50-foot pole. Rebuilding trust is hard hard work and I don't really see HER put much effort into it, if she is willing to put on a... (read in full...)
Am I a coward with a cold heart, for the way I choose to end relationships? How should I do it?
Q. i,am a 50 year old female, been in a relationship for five months,he is really nice, romantic, but he isn't my type. I like big bald football type of guys, he is the cowboys type, good looking, he does all the things a woman wants in a man,so h...
A. 22 January 2017: I don't get you at all.
Because your EX-husband treated you badly, you now have permission to treat others with disregard? How is that for logic?
IF you have dated someone for 5 months and get "cold feet" or decides he isn't for you, HAVE th... (read in full...)
How can I get him back? Or has the damage been done?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and its my fault. I don't know how to fix this situation . I was with my boyfriend when 2 male friends who have a crush on me wrote me on Facebook. Ive known them since before my current relationship...
A. 22 January 2017: Lamest break up reason ever. Sounds like he has been looking for a reason to end it and this was the best one HE could think of.
I don't think your (now ex) BF is ready to date if he can't handle you replying to people on FB. Seriously.
You did... (read in full...)
How should I handle this situation? I think something is going on between my mom and my husband
Q. I think there’s something going on between my mom and my husband !! I know this sounds impossible but it seems true !! And I want to get to the bottom of it but don't know how !! My mom's visiting us and it has been here for the past 2 months !...
A. 21 January 2017: Maybe it's time for your mom to leave?
Thre might not be anything going on except inappropriate banter between your him and husband. Given her history, my guess is, that she is jealous of you and thus stirring up drama. She KNOWS that YOU know abo... (read in full...)
Why does this keep happening? Am I trying too hard? Is this a confidence issue within me?
Q. Why does every close group stop being close as soon as I join? This has been happening since I was little. The whole main reason I joined gymnastics is because I wanted friends. But everyone was so mean to me. They all had their hair done up and ...
A. 21 January 2017: I agree with Denizen,
ASK your friend to elaborate on HOW you messed up a WHOLE marching band by joining.
As for the gymnastics coaches - what a bunch of a-holes! To tell a little girl she shouldn't be there.
I understand you coming to... (read in full...)
Do these fake profiles suggest he's living a double life?
Q. Hello,so let me start off by saying that my boyfriend(in his 30s) has never been the ''social media'' type of guy or at least that's what he told me, He does not like pictures to be taken of him or even with me!, so one day during thanksgiving 2014 ...
A. 21 January 2017: Yes, I understood your post :)
One thing is having an FB page, but why have a fake one? THAT is what I would ask him ( I wouldn't let him know that I KNOW he actually has 2 of them, not until he explains why even 1 fake one)
I think people in ... (read in full...)
Is he not telling the truth in an effort to not hurt me? I'd rather he tell me the truth.
Q. In 2013 my partner and me split up, he met someone else become engaged and ended up having a little girl with his new gf, which is completely understandable. I only found out due to my friend seeing them both out and about, with her other chil...
A. 20 January 2017: I don't think he is lying to protect you, but to protect himself. I think he believes you rather have a completely unattached fella than one who has a baby momma and a kid.
No matter WHY he is lying, there is NO excuse to lie about having a child.... (read in full...)
Fed up with him. Don't think I can trust him any more. How should I handle this situation?
Q. hi everyone ive been with my fiancé for 3 years now just lately I don't feel happy anymore and now ill explain why. We met through facebook and after that he told me he doesn't use facebook anymore. I had him on my friends list he just never bother...
A. 20 January 2017: You have asked about this relationship for a LONG time ( I remember both the dog questions and the Facebook question).
You are still with him WHY? HE isn't going to change. He thinks because he has proposed that you will stay no matter what and... (read in full...)
Was he wrong for hitting me or am I being dramatic?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 8months, I was pulling a silly face he didn't like and to stop me doing it he slapped my face, not hard by enough to shock me a little. He knows how I feel about face slapping (from previous bedroom antics) ...
A. 20 January 2017: Not OK.
I don't think there is EVER a good reason for him to slap you in the face "as a joke". How is that funny?
Even IF you allow slapping in the bedroom for whatever reason (as long as you enjoy it and want, it's all good) doesn't mean he ... (read in full...)
Moving in together and disagree on houseguests. Help!
Q. My boyfriend and I are both 26 and moving in together for the first time. We’re doing it for the right reasons and discussed everything we could think of before making the decision together. Currently we spend most of our time together at his place, ...
A. 20 January 2017: I can't stand house guest. But with 3 teenage daughters, we have them every to every other weekend in one form or another. And many of out friends are out of state so again, they stay at our house or hotel and in summer we set up the pop-up for ... (read in full...)
Is it my fault I got put into the FWB category?
Q. I've always been a woman that holds myself with dignity and believe that I have a lot to offer a man in a relationship. I am in no way saying this to brag or boast myself but my personality has always shined and others have told me so as well. ...
A. 20 January 2017: I don't agree with your Dating coach. I don't think it's your personality he didn't like. I think it was because YOU were willing to "settle" for an FWB. You were willing to have sex without knowing him all that well and without being a "couple". ... (read in full...)
Do these fake profiles suggest he's living a double life?
Q. Hello,so let me start off by saying that my boyfriend(in his 30s) has never been the ''social media'' type of guy or at least that's what he told me, He does not like pictures to be taken of him or even with me!, so one day during thanksgiving 2014 ...
A. 20 January 2017: Have you asked him why he has a FAKE Facebook account? I mean who has that? Unless they are looking to do "bad" things or "catfish" people?
Talk to him, don't guess.... (read in full...)
He went out of his way to get my number but never called
Q. Ok on a friday night at the gym i noticed this guy looking at me and well there was a mutual attraction. He kept looking at me the whole time i was there. I had gone into the hall to take a break and he passed by me as he was leaving and passed b...
A. 20 January 2017: Eh, block and delete his number. No point in keeping it in your phone.
Sounds like he likes the get women's numbers - like little trophies. Or he actually really suck at talking to women so this is not part of a strategy but part of him "practic... (read in full...)
Why won't my friend admit that he is married?
Q. Hi, Aunts! Of late, I've been speaking with one of my friends who is married for 2 months now. The issue is that he has fallen for me and won't even accept or acknowledge his marriage, when I already have seen their pictures (why would he lie to ...
A. 19 January 2017: I agree with Cindy.
This is not a friendship at all. He wants more and is willing to lie to try and get you.
Stop meeting up with him and block him from further contact. Do you really think your soon to be husband would be happy about this... (read in full...)
He stood me up numerous times but the one time I tell him I can't meet he ends things??
Q. In december last year a guy popped up to me. we had both known of each other for a very long time, he had even been following me on all my social media platforms since 2014, but only december he decided to make his move. he was really intense ...
A. 19 January 2017: So now you know, only HE is allowed to cancel or stand you up...
That was me being a little sarcastic.
The thing is NO matter how hard a person work, if they KNOW someone is getting ready to see them, dressing up, doing hair, makeup, having c... (read in full...)
He lacks a stable job and a career so I'm breaking up with him. Am I not openminded?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've put a lot of consideration into this and I've decided to break up with my boyfriend. It's not that we don't get along - we get along rather well and have a great time together. He is positive I will be his future wife and has info...
A. 19 January 2017: You can accept his "career path" but you can also accept that he is NOT the right partner for you.
You two are VERY different people with VERY different lifestyles, VERY different hopes, dreams, and goals.
He is still in the "living at home ... (read in full...)
Married recently. Are these marriage problems happening too soon?
Q. My husband and I just got married about a month ago, unfortunately we can't live together because neither of us have a job at the moment. Although we are looking. We see each once or twice a month. We text everyday and FaceTime, but now all of s...
A. 18 January 2017: I think the "novelty" of chatting daily over Facetime has worn off for your husband. You two are now married so he feels the pressure to constantly be in contact should be lowered.
And I think he is feeling smothered by you. It seems a bit clin... (read in full...)
Is he using me? He's spending more time with his ex than he spends with me.
Q. I'm going out with this bloke on and off for over a year now, but what gets to me is he spends most off his time at his ex's house. He says he's there for kids but half of the time the children are not there. He leaves at 8:00 in morning and ...
A. 18 January 2017: I too think YOU need to prepare yourself the be a single mom. Why on Earth you would procreate with this fella is kind of beyond me.
Why?
Well, it's NOT a stable relationship - you said so yourself. It's on/off. It's only been a year.
Secon... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me that I have 'dry 10 second sex'!
Q. My girlfriend told me that I have "Dry 10 second sex" and I took it as a insult because to me it felt like she was saying that she doesn't enjoy my sex anymore. I told her how I felt and tried to move past it but I just couldn't it makes me feel ...
A. 18 January 2017: Thanks to your update and the older posts of yours...
I think you need to just end it.
You are not happy, she isn't happy - let it go and move on.
... (read in full...)
Family issues. What should I do? Apologise and stick to my plans? Or cancel my holiday?
Q. I have, it seems, caused an enormous family rift. I booked a holiday for 2 weeks at the start of February - it had been booked a while but I told family over Christmas what my plans were. This is the first holiday I have had in 7 years so it means...
A. 18 January 2017: This is a hard one.
Personally, I would do whatever I could to move the holiday and spend that day with your folks, you NEVER know when they aren't there anymore.
Booking a vacation, I understand, is a GREAT thing for you and it seems like yo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me that I have 'dry 10 second sex'!
Q. My girlfriend told me that I have "Dry 10 second sex" and I took it as a insult because to me it felt like she was saying that she doesn't enjoy my sex anymore. I told her how I felt and tried to move past it but I just couldn't it makes me feel ...
A. 18 January 2017: Is there any truth to what she said?
That sex is over way too fast and she is left wanting more?
You may not have had that problem with any exes because (my guess) they were young and inexperienced so didn't "complain" or point out that sex was... (read in full...)
I live at home and my Mum won't let me clean it up, its a biohazard mess!
Q. It's a long story, but I got laid off from my job last year and I live at home with my mom. I feel like I've failed at life and this wasn't how I thought I would turn out, but this is just background information. What's going on is that I'm ...
A. 18 January 2017: I too agree with Ruby,
You both have a type of OCD but unfortunately, hers and yours work against each other. You like things neat and clean (I get you!) and she likes to keep STUFF.
IF you are back working, I'd look to moving out asap. For yo... (read in full...)
Should I continue dating someone who's 15 years older than me?
Q. Hey guys, My question is should I continue to pursue a relationship with someone who's 15 years older than me? Okay so I am 21 next month , my boyfriend is 35. I did not know he was 35 when we first met because he told me he was 26. He said he k...
A. 18 January 2017: First of all, you don't know for sure that you family would not approve. Who knows?
Second, of all, I REALLY agree with Garbo's statement...
"He already lied to you, you forgave... that will become a pattern "
I get that you BOTH try and jus... (read in full...)
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