I like him but he doesn't stimulate me. Should I try again?
Q. Hi, I am under a lot of pressure by parents to get married, culturally, I'm old, 30. And my parents really care about whay others think. Anyways, I met a guy online. Sweet, untrustworthy guy, which is hard to find in a world full of untrustw...
A. 28 March 2017: He isn't for you. And he is "making" you into a person you won't like if you keep seeing him. The whole " he is so easy to control" is not really a "Bad" trait in him but IN YOU because YOU are the one doing it. He ANNOYS you. IMAGINE being married ... (read in full...)
Was he lying about his reasons for blocking me?
Q. I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk ...
A. 28 March 2017: Does it matter HOW he communicates with you?
OP he is treating you like dirt. LET him go.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him how he feels now? Or wait a while before I ask?
Q. Hi, I have a relationship issue and would love some advice! For the past nine months I have been in an ambiguous relationship with my housemate. We started sleeping together last summer. I knew he had fancied me for a while and he even starte...
A. 28 March 2017: OP, don't settle for getting 10% back if you give 100%
Move out. That would be step #1 in getting your "pride" back but more so in finding your boundaries. KNOW what you want and don't want in a relationship.
Do you ever tell people who you K... (read in full...)
I feel trapped, I want him to move out but he has no money!
Q. Dear Cupid My boyfriend is 45 and we have been together for a few years. I am aware that he likes to drink and we have had some arguments about this and I have told him I respect his right to make his own choices but a life which focuses on alcoh...
A. 27 March 2017: Yo uCAN "make" him move out, but you can also do what feels right for you and let him stay a little while. My advice though is that you give him 30 or 60 days to find a room to let/roommate situation which HE will have to find ways to pay for.
... (read in full...)
Should I ask him how he feels now? Or wait a while before I ask?
Q. Hi, I have a relationship issue and would love some advice! For the past nine months I have been in an ambiguous relationship with my housemate. We started sleeping together last summer. I knew he had fancied me for a while and he even starte...
A. 27 March 2017: I'm sorry OP, you need to stop living in la-la Land. He had told you TWICE that he didn't want to DATE YOU (he said anyone but given his actions of getting on dating apps and bringing home a girl it seems like it's JUST you, he doesn't want to get ... (read in full...)
How can I believe there is a good guy out there?
Q. I feel like I have given up on love- my whole life I'm in my early thirties now but I used to believe that there was a nice guy out there and that if ur a genuine person that will be rewarded. I'm 32 and I have completely lost faith in love - I...
A. 27 March 2017: I agree with Phil,
Take a break from dating. When you are not in the right mindset (and you don't seem to be) you aren't going to meet someone who is good for you. What you PUT out there is what you get back. And right now you are bitter that wha... (read in full...)
Do most guy friends behave this way?
Q. So for a few weeks I've had a crush on this guy that I see periodically at a social dance event. I have known him but not well for almost a year, but have recently started getting closer to him. We started getting closer once a previous relationship ...
A. 27 March 2017: I think he likes you. The reason he goes quiet might be because you aren't encouraging him more (he is as unsure as you are).
So start talking to him. See where it takes you.... (read in full...)
Was he lying about his reasons for blocking me?
Q. I was dating a guy and he was leaving on duty for a couple weeks. He lied to me about deleting social media, he actually ended up blocking me. When I caught him in his lie, he said anxiety and paranoia made him delete me, he thought I would stalk ...
A. 27 March 2017: Yes he lied, he didn't want you to see what he gets up to.
But really OP, why are you still wasting time on this guy?
He is the same that you made out with and sent naughty pics too who then blocked you and isn't talking to you? You have on... (read in full...)
I've met the perfect guy but after getting back in contact with my ex I am confused
Q. I’ve been dating this seemingly perfect guy for the past couple of months and honestly the way he is with me and treats me is just perfect. I have a ‘check list’ of everything I want in a man he is everything and more BUT... Out of the blue my ex ...
A. 27 March 2017: I agree with N91 and Chigirl,
Neither is right for you.
The ex-bf IS an ex for a reason. Going back to an ex-partner is RARELY a good idea. You ARE idealizing your ex-bf.
And the new guy? He might be a GREAT you, doesn't mean he is GREAT... (read in full...)
Group holiday planned. How can I enjoy the holiday when he will be present ?
Q. I'm going on a group holiday next week(which has been arranged for a while) with someone who I really like and have feelings for, but who I have come to realise just enjoys flirting and does not actually have feelings for me at all. The thing is...
A. 27 March 2017: I feel a little "mean" for saying this - but BUCKLE UP, Buttercup.
YOU KNOW he is a HUGE flirt but means NOTHING romantic or serious about it so you can either IGNORE the flirting (as in don't flirt back) or you can play along (but still remember... (read in full...)
How do I avoid blowing what could have been my best chance to date him?
Q. I am a very shy person when it comes to dating usually I meet people through friends so its not so bad. Recently I got chatting with a bloke and we arranged a date. We had our 2nd date this weekend. This date we had at his place and had a few drinks...
A. 26 March 2017: Just back off.
IF you "talking a lot" on a second date due to nerves is a reason for him to NOT want to date you, there is nothing you can do to change it.
INSTEAD... LEARN from this. If you get chatty from alcohol, don't drink before a d... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone new but don't think I'm over my ex. Should I let the new guy go?
Q. I am 28, In November I was dumped through whatsapp by my ex who I was madly in love with I was only with him for 4 months but I felt so much love for him after one month I got pregnant and had a n abortion and it totally messed me up as o didn't ...
A. 26 March 2017: I think if you are not over what happened with the ex you should let the new guy go. IF you can find ONE great guy who treats you right, you can find another when you are READY to date again.
However, the thing you aren't over I think has to do mo... (read in full...)
Am I just wasting my time with this older guy?
Q. I've messed up. I was being flirted with in Oct 2015 - Dec 2015 by my then next door neighbours married son. I know things are rough at home. I wanted to help. Then he cut me off. I become an object for his brother to touch. It sent me round ...
A. 26 March 2017: I think you are wasting your time.
And I think you are TOTALLY missing the point as well. The guy is married. Doesn't matter how much SUCKAGE the marriage is... cheating NEVER fixes anything and you are the WILLING participant in this drama/me... (read in full...)
Please explain medical issues of virginity
Q. i had sex first time before one year, in a day about 3 times and i lost my virginity , i bled a medium... and want to know that if i will sex after two years.. should i bleed again or not? and what should i do to bleed again?...
A. 26 March 2017: Your hymen has nothing to do with the bleeding. And no, after having had sex 3 times your hymen is probably not there no more (and it might not have been there when you HAD sex).
While we have been taught by society that virgin = bleeding the firs... (read in full...)
I think I got played and feel like a fool
Q. I talked about this guy before, he actually manipulated me and got me as far as fooling around and sending pics (naughty pics). As soon as I cut that off, he lied to me big time. I feel like a fool?...
A. 26 March 2017: Is he the one you had talked to for a couple of weeks top? If it is, you need to start being smarter. Much smarter.
Naughty pics are FINE in an ESTABLISHED relationship. ONE that has been going on for a GOOD while, where there is true TRUST be... (read in full...)
Making a move on a friend?
Q. I want to make a move on my guy friend. I'm just nervous about wrecking the friendship, but he behaves around me the same way I'd behave around someone I like, but I can't tell if I have a chance or if that's just him. The other night he literally ...
A. 26 March 2017: The deal with the "we should move abroad together" doesn't really imply that he wants a relationship with you. It just means he sees you at someone he likes to be around, as in A GOOD FRIEND. I have gone on vacations with friends (both male and ... (read in full...)
Do men have different personalities with women they casually have sex with?
Q. And by different, I mean, do they not care to be fun (with personality) outside the bedroom because he knows you're just a casual thing and not someone he wants to impress? For example, there's this guy who I began dating a while back and we went...
A. 26 March 2017: "Well since she's just a hookup, who cares about talking and having fun outside of the bedroom?"
Probably... Even the novelty of casual hook up wears off. It might feel like a "chore' having to wine & dine you before getting his sex. Which i... (read in full...)
Going silent on me after I asked him how he felt about me by telling me he would talk to me when he is ready.
Q. Hi. I don't know what to make of my bf's behavior. I asked him a week and a half ago ago who he felt about me, because we are in a long distance relationship and do not get to see one another very often. I don't know how he feels about me, th...
A. 26 March 2017: He is trying to take control of WHAT you are "allowed" to talk about and what you are not. When you bring up subject HE doesn't want to talk about you get "punished" with "the silent treatment" in hopes that you will SHUT up about those subject.
... (read in full...)
Please confirm my doubts
Q. I've been with my bf for 2.5yrs (living with him 1.7yrs).I've noticed that on his Facebook, he has lots of females "friends" (as he calls). I haven't used FB and had shut it down years ago as I prefer Linkedin. His account has been open to me but ...
A. 25 March 2017: This is NOT "normal" but it is YOUR normal for now and has been for a while.
I think you know that the relationship has gone downhill, he is disrespectful, abusive and selfish. And you... walk around on eggshells for whatever reason. My guess is... (read in full...)
Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry
Q. My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...
A. 25 March 2017: If you feel like you HAVE to monitor him for him to be a faithful partner - then trust is gone and whatever you have is crumbling.
YOU need to not act like a kid here. The whole "silent treatment" is childish.
WHY not USE your words and tell h... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my boyfriend wants to get me pregnant?
Q. So I think my boyfriend wants me to get pregnant , without actually saying it . This is more of a question for the guys since they may know more about how they think. First of all we haven't been dating for long but he's already talked about get...
A. 25 March 2017: Are you nuts OP?
TALK IS CHEAP. He can talk babies ALL he wants but that doesn't mean common sense should go out the window.
You are 18-21 - why on EARTH would you ALLOW him to try and knock you up?
You haven't been dating that long so a pr... (read in full...)
Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry
Q. My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...
A. 25 March 2017: OP,
IT WAS A BUSINESS LUNCH! Sorry I had to put on caps because you seem to not understand the concept. He is having a business lunch with CLIENTS - which means he isn't THERE to text r chat with you over the phone.
If there had been an emer... (read in full...)
Please explain medical issues of virginity
Q. i had sex first time before one year, in a day about 3 times and i lost my virginity , i bled a medium... and want to know that if i will sex after two years.. should i bleed again or not? and what should i do to bleed again?...
A. 25 March 2017: http://www.yourtango.com/201172815/7-things-you-didnt-know-about-hymen
Read that article - it explains it all to you.
But yes, you CAN bleed again if you aren't lubricated enough if your partner isn't gentle or uses a finger inside you and h... (read in full...)
Why am I getting mixed signals from her?
Q. This girl at work is giving me mixed signals, seems like mostly negative. On the one hand someone asked her if she likes me ( in front of me), to which she responded "of course I love him". On the other hand she's always telling me I talk too much, ...
A. 24 March 2017: So OP, if you are SO popular with the OTHER girls why not leave this one girl alone?
The " Of course I love him" could have been 100% sarcasm or meant as a joke.
It's a common fact that not everyone you meet will like you.
If the other gi... (read in full...)
How can I cool this without offending him? I'm feel anxious!
Q. I am 70 and have been a widow for 8 years, a married man has been very kind, but recently bought me a rose plant, took me to lunch, and a couple of other visits. He is ok as a friend, the places we have visited are not of interest to his wife, but ...
A. 24 March 2017: OP, good for you!
And remember you really DO NOT owe him an explanation for living your life. Or even for canceling a ride.
You can do it, he'll hopefully catch on and back off.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not like my ex husband doing my laundry!
Q. My boyfriend does not like my ex husband doing my laundry. He called my ex a saint for doing it and said he must care about me to do it still. Like there is an emotional connection and he feels I should finish with the relationship entirely. But the ...
A. 24 March 2017: Since when is your laundry any of your BF's business?
I'd ask him why he feels that is any of his concern or control.
Some couples who SHARE a child can be civil and do things for each other without there really being strings attached. Like d... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 22 March 2017: So start with no drinking alcohol around him IF you feel the alcohol lowers your "defenses" and maybe cut down on the going to party with this group. You might also find NOT going out a lot with these people will save you money :)
Does he NEED you... (read in full...)
How can I cool this without offending him? I'm feel anxious!
Q. I am 70 and have been a widow for 8 years, a married man has been very kind, but recently bought me a rose plant, took me to lunch, and a couple of other visits. He is ok as a friend, the places we have visited are not of interest to his wife, but ...
A. 22 March 2017: Not wanting to talk someone isn't being mean OP :) And he IS a grown man, he can handle it.
Neither is saying No, thanks to gifts or someone wanting to pay for you. IT IS OK to say, it's kind of you to want to pay, but I can take care of myself. ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of success and happiness for women STARTING new relationships after the age of 50?
Q. I've read horrible statistic that the odds of a woman marrying after 50 are something less than winning the lottery . What the hell ? Is this true . Are we really that unattractive and unwanted? What are women's experiences with STARTING new...
A. 22 March 2017: I'm with Auntie BimBim!
It can happen. You can't rely on statistics to build your life. Life and LOVE are more than mere numbers.
See what's out there, enjoy life, see places, meet new people.
To be married is not a be all or end all, at an... (read in full...)
How can I cool this without offending him? I'm feel anxious!
Q. I am 70 and have been a widow for 8 years, a married man has been very kind, but recently bought me a rose plant, took me to lunch, and a couple of other visits. He is ok as a friend, the places we have visited are not of interest to his wife, but ...
A. 22 March 2017: OP, have you thought of looking into a local group? One that little trips with people who enjoys art like you? It doesn't HAVE to be a senior group but you might find some kindred spirits you DO want to go sketching with, who makes YOU feel ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 22 March 2017: I had a coworker like that (though he was single) Totally charming, yummy, smart and honestly a bit manipulative. I was single at the time but didn't want to date a coworker and especially one like him (a bit of a player with a string of VERY short ... (read in full...)
Family conditioning has defined sex as inappropriate and dangerous. How can I stop feeling afraid pf physical sex?
Q. Ever since I was young, sex was explained to me as something that was inappropriate, dangerous, and could generally be used against me. Both of my parents were always adamant that men couldn't be trusted, and that I needed to be cautious and awar...
A. 22 March 2017: 1. We are all conditioned by our family, society, faith etc. Some to more of an extreme than others. I truly understand why your mom and dad have made sex scary for you. I'm not saying what they did is RIGHT, but I understand it, they had both seen ... (read in full...)
I'm hesitant about calling her. Is it good idea to call her when she is with her bf?
Q. Helo my beloved dearcupid aunts and uncles, i am a guy and i have a female friend. When she come back from vacation, she came with her bf and they are staying together for some days. I didn't call her since she is with her bf together because...
A. 22 March 2017: I think you are being a good friend and respectful of her relationship and I agree that if she is supposedly spending time with her BF, HE should be the focus.
I agree with anon, sounds like she wants to make her BF jealous or keep him on his toes... (read in full...)
Should I wait another year until I am more sure of my feelings for him before I buy him an airline ticket to allow him to visit me?
Q. This issue is a bit tricky and I need an external view I met a guy online 6 months ago , he lives in Argentina, he is 5 years younger than me, I live in Europe, we talk constantly every day including video calls , although the time is differen...
A. 22 March 2017: I think you should consider the future. You have talked for 6 months. He can't afford to fly over and see you, not even to pay for HALF the ticket, so really WHAT would happen if you met and REALLY liked each other? It's not like he can "just" ... (read in full...)
Is it really worth it to file for child support? I got pregnant 3 months into dating him, then he disappeared
Q. The baby's father isn't in the picture. I have tried to reach out to him during this pregnancy, but nothing. I kind of am considering to file for child support, since I'm living with my mom and don't make as much at the moment. The only thi...
A. 22 March 2017: I think it is "worth" it. Kids don't come cheap. And IF you, later on, will need public assistance like housing, welfare, medical - they will insist you file for child support.
I know this from my niece. She doesn't get beans worth from the baby... (read in full...)
I just don't want sex. What can I do about it?
Q. Hi Please help me. I have been with my partner for eight years. But over the last few years and particularly this year I have lost all interest in sex. I do have a hormone disorder and suffer frequent cystitis so I know that this probably contrib...
A. 22 March 2017: Have you had a medical check up lately? Maybe start there.
Are you on birth control? Hormones? If you are, you might want to talk to your doctor about trying a different brand.
And I have to ask, how ha the sex life with your partner been? U... (read in full...)
Am I a repressed sex addict?
Q. Dear cupid, I am 30 year old woman and I have bein single for most of my life, happily single I should say. I had my first kiss at 15, lost my virginity at 18. These were two kinda isolated events more like a box to tick, virginity gone what's n...
A. 22 March 2017: We can't diagnose you, OP
My guess is that, NO you are not a sex addict (repressed or otherwise), but I think you have issues with bonding and commitment issues. That is why you can have ONS but nothing more.
Maybe you should consider talking... (read in full...)
Bad sign or just a poor planner?
Q. After a week of talking, I finally met the guy for date. He was late to the 1st date, which is ok once in awhile. We spent about 6 hours together and we were planning to spend today together. There was never a time set up. There is an event I've ...
A. 22 March 2017: He might have come down with something, I'd give him ONE chance. If he flakes again last minute I'd give him the boot.
You have only known him a week, I say slow down. Don't try and CRAM a whole courtship into a week or three. If I were you I'd ... (read in full...)
Whose last name do I give to my baby?
Q. My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...
A. 22 March 2017: If the dad is not in the picture give him yours.
You CAN if you want to hyphen it with the father's last name, but I don't see why you should. His father's name will be on the birth certificate I presume? That should be enough.
What if you m... (read in full...)
Was this man in my walking group interested?
Q. Last year I joined a walking group online. I noticed a guy had viewed my profile a few times at the time but we had never met. 8 months went by and I finally made an appearance and met the group in person. The guy who had viewed my profile was ...
A. 22 March 2017: I would say yes, he is at the very least curious about you. On the other hand, he might LOOK up ALL the women in the group and go down the list to see who might fancy him back. Impossible to tell.
I find it odd that you call him outgoing, yet he d... (read in full...)
Personal cleanliness? There has got to be a nice way to approach this! What would you do??
Q. I started seeing this guy about two months ago. We pretty much only hang out about two three nights a week when he'll come stay the night or weekend. We've known each other for a while now, we've taken our kids on play dates before etc. He's a...
A. 21 March 2017: I'd tell him that you have thought it over and come to the conclusion that you don't feel the two of you are a good match long term and that you don't want to string him along.
I think that is a "good enough" reason to want to end it after ON... (read in full...)
How can I cool this without offending him? I'm feel anxious!
Q. I am 70 and have been a widow for 8 years, a married man has been very kind, but recently bought me a rose plant, took me to lunch, and a couple of other visits. He is ok as a friend, the places we have visited are not of interest to his wife, but ...
A. 21 March 2017: How can you cool it and not offend?
First off, you have a RIGHT to say no or no, thanks when offered something. Especially if it makes you feel indebted.
Second of all, SUGGEST that his wife comes along next time he suggests anything or sugg... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 21 March 2017: No need to quit your job, just LEARN from the experience. I know people "hook up" at work and I have seen first hand how much drama THAT can create (especially when it doesn't work out) which is why I advocate a no dating/hooking up with coworker ... (read in full...)
Personal cleanliness? There has got to be a nice way to approach this! What would you do??
Q. I started seeing this guy about two months ago. We pretty much only hang out about two three nights a week when he'll come stay the night or weekend. We've known each other for a while now, we've taken our kids on play dates before etc. He's a...
A. 21 March 2017: I actually forgot to ask OP, have you been to his place? Is it nasty too? My guess is yes, which is another layer of being unhygienic.
I can't imagine living with a person who is a total slob, with their home AND person. I can't even imagine ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 21 March 2017: Have you told him that you aren't interested anymore? If so, I'd do that. I'd lay down very firm boundaries here and stick to them.
And then I would just be civil/polite at work but not engage in any flirting or banter with him.
As for him AS... (read in full...)
Personal cleanliness? There has got to be a nice way to approach this! What would you do??
Q. I started seeing this guy about two months ago. We pretty much only hang out about two three nights a week when he'll come stay the night or weekend. We've known each other for a while now, we've taken our kids on play dates before etc. He's a...
A. 20 March 2017: Sorry OP,
THIS is who he is. He is "dirty Dan" and not in the macho kind of way. Personal hygiene is something people KNOW by the time they are in their teens and while they may not be "super" into all the time, by their 20's they do it because ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 20 March 2017: Yes, I think he SHOULD have told you (and NO I don't think the other co-workers should - they might have presumed you knew already and it's NOT their business to tell every girl who finds him "cute" that he is married).
Now you know. Be glad he ... (read in full...)
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