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... Send *indyCares a private message | | | *indyCares's profile:Hi everybody. I am an Italian woman currently living in Italy but I spent many years in England and USA. I hope my English is still decent but in case it got a little rusty, please be lenient.
My age ? Let say that I am way past the stage when you cry if the boy you like takes your best friend to the prom, and young enough to remember how awful that feels.
What qualifies me to help people- well, let me show off just a bit and mention that I studied Psychology 4 years in college, and, even if then I graduated in a different subject, I never lost my interest in psychology and kept reading a lot about this subject. Yet that does not really qualify me for anything because intellectual knowledge is not the same as real life experience. So let's say I feel I can advice people because I have lived a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people from all backgrounds , races and religions- I have loved a lot, and I have also been dumped a lot :)
Plus, I am really fascinated with people and their stories. Not in a gossipy way. I just find that every person is a whole new world that I am excited to discover.
Right now I am single- and happily so. I realized- better late than never - that rather than waiting for Prince Charming I should first become a Princess myself. You can't love anybody unconditionally, if first you don't love yourself unconditionally, and this is what I am learning to do.
Looking forward to hear from all of you..
Ciao
Cindy |
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| Latest articles: Devastation in Italy
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 August 2016: This has got nothing to do with romance or relationships or love- maybe with love for our fellow human beings, i.e. solidariety and compassion , so I hope that the mods will publish this regardless. On August 24th a devastating eartquak...
Ten best ways for a woman to be given her walking papers.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 August 2014: Yeah I know : ultimately love is a mystery, not an exact science. There's always an element of sheer luck, of serendipity, of magic in it. Some times you do everything right, by the book, you are the perfect gf / wife / lover .. and you still get ...
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Do I need to cut my hair to increase my luck meeting girls?
Q. Hi, I've been single for nearly a year now and I want to get out there again but I don't want anything too serious as I have a very bad track record of relationships, therefore I am severely put off for the time being. I have told my friend that...
A. 6 April 2011: Ok, due note taken : you hair is clean.
But- having great looking long hair takes time ( and a dedication worth perhaps of a better cause:). You can't just let them grow and let them be any which way. Natural curls look wonderful, if yours inst... (read in full...)
Been cheating on wife with 3 girlfriends and 40 hookers
Q. Hi, I have been married 10 years to my wife who I love but she is very difficult to live with. I don't know if I am a nympho or what, but when she is not around I can masturbate up to 4 times a day. Also, when i have been away for work on many occ...
A. 6 April 2011: If you already know the answers why do you bother asking ?
Also, you think you cannot change- and most of all it sounds like you don't want to change ,even if you could, since you love what you are doing and have no "moralistic " scruples abou... (read in full...)
Who answers the questions on this site?
Q. Hi Andew Not really sure how I got here virtually!!! Must be on a cloud? who is it that actually answers these questions people have? other users or do you have a staff of lisc. social workers, Ph.d's ect...who purse this site and chime in when th...
A. 6 April 2011: Dear Cupid is a very diverse "community ", there's people from any age,profession and walk of life. . Some Aunts work in the medical field, or have a background in psychology, counseling, social work etc., but that is totally co -incidental ... (read in full...)
Online dating..he led me on and then just disappeared
Q. Please help solve this puzzle: 1. Girls notices guy on dating website 2. Girl approaches guy 3. Guy responds positively and begins to chat 4. Guy disappears without responding for 2 weeks then gets back in touch full of apologies. 5. Gi...
A. 6 April 2011: This is no puzzle, it's how I - net dating works most of the times. It goes by unexplicited yet very real rules, and it's a bit different than in " real life ".
This guy is not corresponding just with you, he may be in touch with other 5 or 10 o... (read in full...)
Getting mixed messages from this guy! Help!
Q. So i dated this guy i really liked we went out for two months......he broke up with me ...i was devastated he was my real first boyfriend....we go to the same school...we didnt have any classes together....he would always ignore me when i tried to ...
A. 6 April 2011: Don't stress about it. Maybe your friend needs to find a reason why the boy cooled off, - and she thinks you may have something to do with that , like you may have said or done something to get him back.
But , the truth is that a teenager does... (read in full...)
Do I need to cut my hair to increase my luck meeting girls?
Q. Hi, I've been single for nearly a year now and I want to get out there again but I don't want anything too serious as I have a very bad track record of relationships, therefore I am severely put off for the time being. I have told my friend that...
A. 6 April 2011: Hair style is a code , same as dress is a code.
Hair is NOT what you are, you'd be exactly the same , same personality, same ideas even if you'd shave your head. But
it's a way by which you send a message about yourself to your environm... (read in full...)
How do you shrug off worries that your ex may have bad-mouthed you to people?
Q. Has anyone ever worried that your ex will talk sh*t about you? Like exaggerate things about you so that you sound worse than you actually are. Like, I guess I was a little clingy when my ex broke up with me, like I tried to stay in contact even ...
A. 5 April 2011: How do you shrug it off ?.. You raise your shoulders of about half an inch then let them rapidly drop :) Honey, this is not a minor issue, this is a non - issue. He may, or may not, have told his friends that you acted clingy or desperate. So ... (read in full...)
My 8 year old daughter is telling people she has a brother when she is an only child, how do I deal with this situation?
Q. I have just got back from having a chat with my daughters teacher.My daughter is 8yrs old.The teacher had mentioned about my daughter being tierd one particular day.She had told her teacher that her young brother had kept her awake most the night. I...
A. 5 April 2011: But, are we sure there any particular, specific psychological issues with being an only child ? In UK, there are 3.43 million homes with only children . 46 per cent of all families. The number of families who are planning to have no more tha... (read in full...)
My 8 year old daughter is telling people she has a brother when she is an only child, how do I deal with this situation?
Q. I have just got back from having a chat with my daughters teacher.My daughter is 8yrs old.The teacher had mentioned about my daughter being tierd one particular day.She had told her teacher that her young brother had kept her awake most the night. I...
A. 5 April 2011: Don't worry, there are a lot of kids that have an active imagination and come up with all sorts of stuff about imaginary friends and imaginary families. It's a phase , and in lack of other symptoms, it does not mean the kid is unhappy or lonely. ... (read in full...)
I have injuries from the war and now no one wants to date me
Q. Here's the deal i got back from Iraq almost 1 year ago from a explosion in which took my leg off, and left me with bullet holes in my back. I had my leg put back on, but now there is a 10 inch scar going down the right side by my knee and wraps ...
A. 5 April 2011: A scar is a physical imperfection same as any other physical imperfection : acne, buck teeth, hair on your back,a beer belly, you name it. Some people will mind, some people won't. Some people will mind a certain imperfection, and not others. ... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex without a condom
Q. im 15 and my 15 yr. bf finaly got me 2 give him a b.j after 2 mounths of dating and now after 3 mounths he is trying 2 get me 2 give him my vergenity and he said we should not use a condom cuz it feels better w/out 1 then he said he wnts r 1st time ...
A. 5 April 2011: Sorry, I need to say it : your boyfriend is an idiot. Ok, he is 15 so how sensible could he be anyways.... but no, this is too much idiocy even for 15.
NO GLOVE NO LOVE - this must become like a tattoo in your brain.... (read in full...)
Does he wife really know or does he just want out?
Q. I am just wondering what people think because I can't figure this out. First of all, I know to many you are going to judge me and tell me it doesn't matter because I involved myself with a married man, but I do know it was wrong, I just want help in ...
A. 5 April 2011: It seems you did not have a lot of trust in your ex lover, if after this text exchange first thing you think is he may have concocted such an elaborate, dramatic scenario .
I can't be sure of course , but I think it's true, he got busted.
You h... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 5 April 2011: You should put your head under an ice cold shower jet till you come to your senses.
First, you are under age, your are not even supposed to have sex- a disgruntled parent may make him land into no end of troubles even if he is a minor, or in j... (read in full...)
Is his suggestion for sex really safe?
Q. me and my bf r both 15 and he said he might have an std [he has a bad rash ]. and he didnt get it from me becuz we have never had any contact like that exept kissing.) and he told me he hasnt had sex in almost a year and he is rlly anxius. then he ...
A. 5 April 2011: The pool thing is an urban legend,- he needs to see a doctor.
Not all genital rashes come from STDs. It may be a contact dermatitis ( allergic reaction ) , it maybe be a fungus infection, for instance. Anyway, he needs to see the doctor.
Oh bt... (read in full...)
Should I move away in the hopes of finding a partner?
Q. I have been single now for 18 months and I just don't meet any potential partners anywhere. I can't even get a date using online dating and with the net the rsponse is always because I don't want kids and there seem to be very few women in their ...
A. 4 April 2011: OP,
I too have got the feeling that the anon female reader could be right.
I mean, your friend burst in tears when you said you were leaving- a pretty strong reaction for just a normal friend...
I don't know , but, I had dear friends movi... (read in full...)
What is your opinion on my current relationship?
Q. Well just recently maybe half a year ago a friend of mine had introduced me to her little brother and we had been talking ever since To be honest i just thought that he was another really hot guy that id never get the chance to be with but ive want...
A. 4 April 2011: It's a deal, then :) You enjoy your sweet, young romance in the here and now- without burdening it with unrealistic expectations and without ever neglecting to socialize with friends and do all your normal stuff ( including school ! ). So if it... (read in full...)
Why give me false hope and create expectation, why not rather say no or say nothing at all in the first place?
Q. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year, and although we share interests and got along well at the start, I can’t stand the fact that he frequently doesn’t do what he has said or promised he would. Everyone has problems from time to time ...
A. 4 April 2011: Because he knows he has to keep you hooked on expectations- expectations of change.
As of now, you put up with a whole lot of crap, because he makes you believe change is always around the corner.
If you'd gave up any hope of change, you 'd ... (read in full...)
Am I slutty?
Q. I want to know if I'm a drunk slut i'm 19 and In my sophomore year of college last year I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 4 months but since we broke up... ive had 2 one night stands (full intercourse) given two blow jobs, and let one othe...
A. 4 April 2011: Finding a label for you won't change the past nor be a solution to the problem , if there is a problem. So there is no point in calling you anything , whether it be " slut" or " good girl ".
Let's see first if we have a problem here. You seem... (read in full...)
What is your opinion on my current relationship?
Q. Well just recently maybe half a year ago a friend of mine had introduced me to her little brother and we had been talking ever since To be honest i just thought that he was another really hot guy that id never get the chance to be with but ive want...
A. 4 April 2011: Frankly ,no. You should be out of your room, having fun with your friends in real life, and meeting boys in real life that you can get to know in person, not by text, and establish a workable relationship with.
You are just feeding a love fant... (read in full...)
When I leave the house boyfriend watches porn. Is he a weirdo?
Q. everytime i leave the house my b/f of 5 years watches porn and chats, he never admits it, and when i mention it he gets really mad and it's a major fight and he says i'm crazy that it's not true. when i get home and go on the computer he sometimes ...
A. 4 April 2011: @angziety : true , but you don't get practice and experience from porn. You get a lot of bizarre,wrong ideas about what feels good to women.
Porn it's not the devil incarnate in itself, but it sounds like your boyfriend may be addicted to it .
-... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets turned on when I'm angry or upset!!
Q. My boyfriend gets turned on when Im angry or upset. Its most definitely not the only time he gets turned on (fortunately, because that would be one hell of a double edged sword!) but it surprises me, and makes me laugh a little nonethel...
A. 4 April 2011: Nothing unusual. There are tons of romantic comedies where the two protagonists fight and bicker and yell at each other, only to stop dead at some point and fall into passionate kissing.
I guess that anger generates a kind of energy that's simi... (read in full...)
Am I making a mistake in getting married?
Q. Ok so this is going to be a long question and I really need your help. You can be as blunt as you want because I just want to know the truth so thanks in advance. I'd like to know if I am making a big mistake in getting married to my fiance. We met ...
A. 4 April 2011: Are you making a mistake ? Of course. Anybody would make a mistake marrying a verabally and physically abusive ( yes, pushing you to the ground IS already abuse ) alcoholist. You even more with your personal , sensitive issues.
You are corr... (read in full...)
Getting mixed messages from this guy! Help!
Q. So i dated this guy i really liked we went out for two months......he broke up with me ...i was devastated he was my real first boyfriend....we go to the same school...we didnt have any classes together....he would always ignore me when i tried to ...
A. 3 April 2011: Glad to hear that... and you'll see ... more often than not, when you get to be happy with yourself and have fun anyway, with or without a partner,... it's exactly then that you attract the right person for you.... (read in full...)
I am 13, gay, and I'm having anal and oral sex with my boyfriend. Is this wrong?
Q. I know people say don't have sex until your married,but im 13 and me and my boyfriend are planning to spend our lives together, so I gave him oral sex. We both enjoyed it so I let him perform anal sex on me. It was painful but the best night of my ...
A. 3 April 2011: In Canada , age of consent was raised to 16 years in 2008. Age of consent for anal sex though is at 18. Wait, it gets better - having sex with anybody under 14 is a criminal offence that carries very heavy sentences : I don't remember exactl... (read in full...)
8 years together and now he hates sex and the thought of it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 8 yrs. We've been through more (bad) problems than anyone I know. We ended up homeless for almost 2 yrs, went through the loss of eachothers dads together, have had many family members on both sides impose ...
A. 3 April 2011: I confess that I've lost you at :he's beaten me up severely.
That makes all the rest irrelevant. Best friend, best foe, good sex, no sex.... who cares ...?
If you have an ounce of self respect and self love, - and if you want to dramatic... (read in full...)
Are girls meant to have an orgasm every time they have sex?
Q. Hey everyone Short little question: are girls meant to have an orgasm whenever they have sex? or does it depends on their mood, situation, size of penis?...
A. 3 April 2011: Cerberus, consider yourself kissed on your forehead :) You , and the girls you dated .
That happened to me too some times- I felt in the mood, even enthusiastic, I just did not feel the need for the end of show fireworks. My partner always thou... (read in full...)
I masturbate...is this a sin?
Q. i am a christian that does masturbation all the time because my husband is away is this a sin? am i cheating on him i feel guilty when i finish how can i stop i need help pls...
A. 3 April 2011: I am not a Christian anymore,since many years ago,and I don't want to sound like a staunch paladin of Christian conservatism, but in all honesty I have to stress this :
Christian religion is not a do-it-yourself religion. It does not allo... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my FWB partner is getting tired of me?
Q. I've been having this friends with benefits relationship, no strings attached with a co-worker (he works in the same building, we don't actually work together)for a couple of months now. I know I'm probably too old for that kind of "relationship", ...
A. 3 April 2011: I think you are just not suited for FWBs and you are putting too much heart and thought into it. FWB relationships can only go on and be a source of entertainment and pleasure , if both people can be very casual and relaxed about it, and can ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find the Mr. Right for me?
Q. Hai. My name is Theona, i'm a 16years old. I like very hot, charming and a bit silly guys. My problem with this guys is that my relationships with them it always end up as a big mistake! That scares me alot, im afraid i will never have a good guy...
A. 3 April 2011: It does not have to be either-or.
Sure, " good " is more important than " handsome " so that should be the first box you tick.
Then again, who decided that all the plain guys must have a heart of gold, and all the good looking ones must be ... (read in full...)
What I don't get is all these coincidences...
Q. I'm sorry, I am so lost, confused, and hurt right now. this may be a little long. i acted rash last night- i called this girl on block i suspected my live- in bf of three years has been seeing, i never met her before but she figured it was me and ...
A. 3 April 2011: Maybe I did not quite get your story, but if you called the girl and she said yes I am with your boyfriend... what "coincidences " are you talking about , your suspicions are right and he is cheating.
Why should she have lied to you ? To hurt a wo... (read in full...)
She said "DO U WANNA"? Is she asking me out or does she just want to have sex with me?
Q. Okay so my girl best friend and I are really great friends. Last 5 months, She told me that she's Bi and I told her that I'm bi too. So today, Things got kinda awkward.. We were chatting online and she kept telling me this question like DO U WANN...
A. 3 April 2011: She is asking for sex.... (read in full...)
I'm trying to move on from my ex, but he owes me money...Should I bother getting it back?
Q. i broke up with my ex boyfriend due to mental abuse he owes me 600 dollars i asked for it back and he said he would give it to me the next day he didn't of course i really want my money but i know he keeping it to have some weird control over me ...
A. 3 April 2011: I have to disagree with Dorothy Dix- by the same token, yes 600 USD is not a lot of money yet is much more than 60.
Therefore I would not ask him again for the money back - he already knows he owes it to you, and if, he wants to do the right thin... (read in full...)
Fat girl seeking a man that love fat women
Q. i am a 19 year old female. i am a heavy girl and i have never had a boyfriend or even my first kiss. I am horrible on the computer. I have been searching the web for men seeking very fat woman but can not find any chat rooms for men seeking the fat ...
A. 3 April 2011: First of all, let's see what "fat girl " means . At your age so many girls see themselves like "fat " then it comes out thay are maybe 10 or 12 pounds overweight, yeah big deal, like it's gonna ruin your life,lol. If instead you are obese , regard... (read in full...)
Guys, do you only go down on a woman you are really into?
Q. Guys, do you only go down on a woman youre really into-- your gf or someone you care about/love? or do you do it just for fun or for reciprocity?...
A. 3 April 2011: No, it does not depends from their love for the girl, but from their love for this specific sexual act. Men who love cunnilingus will do it on everything that breathes. Men who are less enthusiastic will do it occasionally, to reciprocate or if re... (read in full...)
He threw me over when I told his wife about us. Should I contact him and tell him how I feel?
Q. I had been seeing a man for 7 months - he is married. Whenever we were together it was amazing, just being around each other made me feel good and he described his feelings as being the same. Always told me "i love you"- in fact, he was the one who ...
A. 3 April 2011: Please leave them alone. You'd only be hurting his wife, that has done nothing to you, and spoil their joy for the birth of their baby and their chance to start over now that they are a family., without accomplishing anything in your favour. ... (read in full...)
He's a lovely man but I keep wanting to break up with him, sometimes on a daily basis!
Q. I have been dating a man for almost a year and love him with my whole heart but he drives me mad with his habits and personality and I keep wanting to break up with him on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. He has so many good points and is fa...
A. 2 April 2011: I don't think that a search on Internet, or our well meaning efforts, should be enough to convince you that your partner has got Asperger's syndrome. That cannot be determined outside of in depth psychiatic investigations and accurate testing. The ... (read in full...)
Should I try to go back to my ex or am I nuts to even consider it?
Q. hi all and thanks for reading wife had 2 affairs says it was her backround child abuse .we are split up 12 months now i still have feelings for her.ive tried dating other women but lost job and losing my hair hair are making things hard for ...
A. 2 April 2011: So you want to go back to a serial cheater because you are losing your hair ? Hey, you'd be wiser to invest some money in a hair transplant then !... (read in full...)
How do I call a woman out on cheating on me?
Q. Ok. I've determined that I am way too nice of a guy. The bottom line is I felt terrible for this woman I met. Her ex husband treated her like shit and cheated on her. Well I fell for her. With me being the nice guy I am I was there to comfort her ...
A. 2 April 2011: While I understand your frustration and disappointment , I don't think calling her out on her deception will be of any utility. Engaging in a battle of wits with her would just fuel your bitterness and nothing more.
If you accuse her of havi... (read in full...)
Do women wish there was a world without men?
Q. Hello Fellow Peers Once Again. I Am Dimario. And... a complicated individual. i am easily hurt when it comes to relationship matters. well i was watching television and It was this feminist show and how she said how the world was bad because of men, ...
A. 2 April 2011: Nothing would change. The tougher, stronger, greedier elements would seize the power and would use it to oppress,manipulate and control the weaker elements of society, some as it happens now.
Human nature and its darkest side do not vary much... (read in full...)
Where are my sex lessons? He's makes excuses. What's up with him?
Q. ok I briefly dated this guy last year and he told me this semester that I was horrible at sex and hooking up in general. I got really insecure and I know this is completely ridiculous but I asked him if he would give me "sex lessons" and he said ...
A. 2 April 2011: Your self confidence is both admirable and a bit naive.
Why, do you think that just because you are relatively attractive and in shape , so any man should want to have sex with you, and if he does not then he must be guy ?
You could be twice as... (read in full...)
I still love him but accept his flirting and his lies
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. I met him when I was 16 (I'm going to be 18 soon) by my friends. I have a group of friends and we're 10 in that group. I was the last one he met. Some of my friends had a crush on him and they were trying...
A. 2 April 2011: I think it's clearly not working out.
First , it's long distance and not that's against the law to have an LDR, but what's the point if neither one is
planning to relocate where the other is within a reasonable time frame ( say, one year,may... (read in full...)
Friends with benefits question.....
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I had to break up (my family forced it) So now we are just hanging out as friends. But the other day it turned into more (oral) and we've become friends with benefits. We've also sexted a few times. I still ...
A. 1 April 2011: He does not like keeping secrets... so I take it that your FWB arrangement is /was public knowledge ?
No ? So, he cannot date secretly, but he can have a tryst secretly.
Faulty logic here - proceed with caution.... (read in full...)
Friends with benefits question.....
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I had to break up (my family forced it) So now we are just hanging out as friends. But the other day it turned into more (oral) and we've become friends with benefits. We've also sexted a few times. I still ...
A. 1 April 2011: What's happening ? Collateral effect of FWB. Sex with no frills no fantasy and no intimacy.
Now he does not have to "put you in the mood" or to build up naughty anticipation. The flirting and seduction game IS part of a relationship, and a part... (read in full...)
Getting mixed messages from this guy! Help!
Q. So i dated this guy i really liked we went out for two months......he broke up with me ...i was devastated he was my real first boyfriend....we go to the same school...we didnt have any classes together....he would always ignore me when i tried to ...
A. 27 March 2011: It does not mean anything. The sooner you realize it the better. Mixed signals, for all intents and purposes = no signal. The fact that he is looking at you does not mean anything in particular, or at least you can't read it that way. Same with any ... (read in full...)
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