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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I want to know how my best friend's husband feels about me. What should I do?
Q. I am currently married, and only have been for six months. My husband is loving and supportive, and we treat each other very well. Although we have a strong emotional relationship, I have never been interested in him sexually [we have sex, it's ...
A. 7 July 2010: Hmm, you are quite right, sex isn't everything. But it is a whole lot. Have you given up on trying to have "everything"? Are there things you and your husband could to to make the sparks fly in the bedroom? Perhaps that would take your mind off of ... (read in full...)
I want to know how my best friend's husband feels about me. What should I do?
Q. I am currently married, and only have been for six months. My husband is loving and supportive, and we treat each other very well. Although we have a strong emotional relationship, I have never been interested in him sexually [we have sex, it's ...
A. 6 July 2010: In the defense of the OP, she has not insisted on doing anything. She came here wondering if she should tell the man because she feels she needs to. Now that she has heard our opinions we do not know if she will still tell the man or not, so saying ... (read in full...)
I want to know how my best friend's husband feels about me. What should I do?
Q. I am currently married, and only have been for six months. My husband is loving and supportive, and we treat each other very well. Although we have a strong emotional relationship, I have never been interested in him sexually [we have sex, it's ...
A. 6 July 2010: I actually came to think of another thing. The question why you want to tell this guy. Could it be that you are feeling guilty for thinking this way, and just want to tell someone? Him being the only man you can possibly imagine telling? Because you ... (read in full...)
I want to know how my best friend's husband feels about me. What should I do?
Q. I am currently married, and only have been for six months. My husband is loving and supportive, and we treat each other very well. Although we have a strong emotional relationship, I have never been interested in him sexually [we have sex, it's ...
A. 6 July 2010: No no no.. do not tell him. If you tell him you will loose his friendship. And do you really think he will be faithful towards you or his own wife? He will tell his wife what you told him. His loyalty lies with her, not you. So you will loose them ... (read in full...)
Super defensive husband!!!
Q. My husband is super defensive. Everything i say he has a defensive retort or a way to bat back at me it could be a comment i have made such as "have you anything planned for dinner tonight" and the reply i get will be "i have not thought about ...
A. 6 July 2010: * if he wont change... (read in full...)
Super defensive husband!!!
Q. My husband is super defensive. Everything i say he has a defensive retort or a way to bat back at me it could be a comment i have made such as "have you anything planned for dinner tonight" and the reply i get will be "i have not thought about ...
A. 6 July 2010: Maybe resort to taping the thing he says and keep a log of when fights occur and about what. Maybe get him to write a log as well, but I don't think you will get him to agree... it is worth a try however. Then after getting multiple of occasions ... (read in full...)
He copies moves and words from porn movies! It's not romantic and it's not helping my insecurities!
Q. hey there, i know you probably read these questins all the time but here we go. im 17 and my boyfriend of 21 have been together for a year, and recently i have become very insecure in my relationship. every day i dont think i am good enough or ...
A. 5 July 2010: For the record, some might think Im using the word addiction very loosely here, but when I judge someone to be addicted is when they can not go for a certain period of time without said thing. This man watches every day. For 2 hours. That is above ... (read in full...)
He copies moves and words from porn movies! It's not romantic and it's not helping my insecurities!
Q. hey there, i know you probably read these questins all the time but here we go. im 17 and my boyfriend of 21 have been together for a year, and recently i have become very insecure in my relationship. every day i dont think i am good enough or ...
A. 5 July 2010: First off I never understood why people think porn stars are pretty. I don't think they are.
Second, your guy is addicted. And no matter what addiction you have it will always have an impact on the relationship, and always for the worse. Porn in ... (read in full...)
Do I give my husband an ultimatum to stop contacting his half-sister?
Q. I an unsure as to what to do for the best, do I give my husband an ultimatum to stop contacting his half sister. He only ever lived with her for a year when she was two and he was twelve, (they share the same dad who died earlier on this year), they ...
A. 5 July 2010: I agree with the anon poster. Meet up with his sister and talk to her about it. Ask her what she feels about the contact she and your husband have. And hear her perspective.
A lot of what you say you have also read a lot into, things that mig... (read in full...)
How did he let go so easily?
Q. *OP's Original Title* How did this happen? My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and ...
A. 4 July 2010: I can't tell you why other than I believe your man was emotionally immature and when his feelings for you grew he got scared of them. Maybe he started questioning his own feelings. He figured out he just wasn't as ready for this serious relationship ... (read in full...)
Long distance relationships: a recipe for disaster?
Q. I read quite a lot of situations concerning long distance relationships. Some people give up their social lives for that signficant other who happens to live miles away, maybe even in another country. Their means of contact is usually internet or ...
A. 4 July 2010: Define "work out". Many close and "physical" relationships don't last either. I believe just about as many long-distance as physical relationships end. Or fewer for that matter as there are less long-distance relationships in the world than physical ... (read in full...)
Its illegal for me to be in love with my boyfriend
Q. Dear cupid, me and my boyfriend just got together on the 19th of june.his way older than me we are 4-5 years apart . It is illegal is my state .because i am under age but he promised me we wouldnt do anything until i finish ...
A. 4 July 2010: Im not sure to be honest. I never understood the whole "parents wont allow me to have a boyfriend" thing. How did you meet your guy? Do you always have to be with your parents? Can't he come hang out with you and your other friends? Can't you say ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and want sex! Should I just get it over with?
Q. I'm 19 and I kinda want to have sex but have not really found the person...Sometimes I just want to get it over with and have that amazing feeling that everyone talks about...Should I wait for the right person or just get it over with???...
A. 4 July 2010: This amazing feeling you hear people talk about come with experience, the right type of person, and ... practice. In other words, if you find a man to have sex with one time you are not going to feel that great. Not the second time either, unless ... (read in full...)
When I'm with a man and I reach orgasm, I suddenly lose interest momentarily
Q. I consider myself bisexual, though I really don't care about the label. I'm attracted to both men and women and enjoy being with both. There is a difference and it's one I don't quite understand or know how to get over. When I'm with a man and I...
A. 4 July 2010: For how long is "momentarily"?... (read in full...)
Why do my breasts hurt?
Q. hi,sorry if this is a dumb question. but im a 14 yr old girl and my boobs have been hurting for the past few days.i asked my mom why pretending it was for a friend and she told me that can happen when your on your period or its about to come.and for ...
A. 4 July 2010: Are you sure you are not about to have your period?
In either case, you are 14. Boobs grow when you are a teenager, and that is most likely why they hurt. They are still growing. ... (read in full...)
He said he is too busy to contact me, and I wait for days and weeks! Yet he updates his facebook daily!
Q. Hello everyone I desperately need your advice cos I am feeling terribly hurt. My Bf and I were on online relationships for 3 years and for a reason that i loved him i am willing to wait til things settled and we can get married as we planned. Two ...
A. 3 July 2010: Best of luck charmz, I really do hope he gets back to you and realizes how valuable you and your relationship is! I hope he is willing for fight for it just as much as you have, and I hope he will see that he is pushing away someone who loves him! ... (read in full...)
Worried I may be sick from oral sex.
Q. I just had sex for the first time. Im 18 and it was with a really good friend of mine. I had oral sex with him and were both STD free i checked before i even went near him, and i did swallow. We used protection for intercourse, but he did ...
A. 3 July 2010: Doesn't sound like a urinary infection, but I suppose they can come in many shades.. Urinary infection is very common though when you first start having sex, or when you have just gotten a new sexual partner. The same with fungus. But fungus itches ... (read in full...)
He said he is too busy to contact me, and I wait for days and weeks! Yet he updates his facebook daily!
Q. Hello everyone I desperately need your advice cos I am feeling terribly hurt. My Bf and I were on online relationships for 3 years and for a reason that i loved him i am willing to wait til things settled and we can get married as we planned. Two ...
A. 3 July 2010: You pointed out something important. He said that maybe you don't know him after all. This is a really bad statement to say because it puts the conflict on its edge, and he tries to turn it into being about your fault and not his. Which is not the ... (read in full...)
Scared to say I love you!
Q. Dear cupid, I have this boyfriend we have been going out for about a 20 days we are both 14..i love him so so much but we havent told each other that we loved each other...i am to worried if i say it first in case he doesnt say it back to me? why ...
A. 3 July 2010: I find it hard to believe you love him after 20 days. Are you sure you are not just crazy about him and in love? As in infatuated? What do you mean by love?
I think it is important that you first of all define what love means to YOU. What do you t... (read in full...)
Worried I may be sick from oral sex.
Q. I just had sex for the first time. Im 18 and it was with a really good friend of mine. I had oral sex with him and were both STD free i checked before i even went near him, and i did swallow. We used protection for intercourse, but he did ...
A. 3 July 2010: It could be your body adjusting to the change. I mean you just had sex for the first time. This is not an STD as you had yourself and him checked beforehand. So either you are coming down with something, over-analyzing, or having a reaction to your ... (read in full...)
He won't talk to me since I texted him while he was in a business meeting!
Q. Ive been with my bestfriend and love for 6 years I'm 28 him 30, he is really a wonderful and great man. Recently he even told my father how Ill be moving to his country for marriage over this year, which we have discussed. He is going through a hard ...
A. 3 July 2010: That is odd. Are you sure he is mad at you for this particular reason, or did he just say "I have good reason not to talk to you"? Could there be another reason why he's not talking to you? It strikes me as very odd indeed, particularly as it sounds ... (read in full...)
How do I improve my self-esteem, I hate my looks??
Q. I hate myself, because I feel ugly and disgusting. I'm not fat and people say I look ok, but average is not enough for me. I don't know what to do. Everytime I see a beautiful woman, I get depressed. So yes, I'm constantly depressed, every day, ...
A. 2 July 2010: What do you mean by "society prove otherwise"? Your boyfriend left you with some wrong images about what is ideal and what is not. What you need to remind yourself of is that what he deemed ideal is only ideal to him. And that these ideals can ... (read in full...)
I asked her for sex, she is shy and said no, what can I do??
Q. i m very much attracted to my cousin sister she was really close to me so i asked for sex but she refused and we both are not talking to each other now but we meet daliy eveen she is feeling shy to talk to me now so plz tell me wat should i do now ...
A. 2 July 2010: That is no way to treat a woman. Treat women with respect, they are not here to sexually satisfy you. If she doesn't want sex with you leave her alone and be a gentleman. ... (read in full...)
I need help with hair removal advice!
Q. Can you use conditioner as a replacement shaving cream for your genital area? And does hair removal cream actually burn you or/and make you bleed? Im 15 and im not quite sure what to do. Do i just shave downwards, or upwards, and what happens if you ...
A. 2 July 2010: Don't use shaving cream for your genital area. Take a shower first, then use lots of water and shave in the direction of the hairs. Don't aim to be smooth as that will just give you ingrown hairs. And if you have hairs growing inside your vagina ... (read in full...)
He said he is too busy to contact me, and I wait for days and weeks! Yet he updates his facebook daily!
Q. Hello everyone I desperately need your advice cos I am feeling terribly hurt. My Bf and I were on online relationships for 3 years and for a reason that i loved him i am willing to wait til things settled and we can get married as we planned. Two ...
A. 2 July 2010: I have honestly no idea why he does not contact you, and I don't for a second believe he doesn't have the time. He could contact you before bed-time, when he wakes up, while he eats dinner.. the occasions arise as often as he wants them to arise. ... (read in full...)
I think it's a mans duty to be the breadwinner!
Q. I don't only date men who have a good bank account, personality is what matters most to me. I don't depend on men to buy me things, I work and make my own money. BUT is it wrong for me to think that it's a mans duty to look after his women. I want ...
A. 2 July 2010: I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a man to be the breadwinner, as long as you accept that not all men want to be the breadwinner, and not all women want a man to be the breadwinner either. This is not a way things "should" be, it is ... (read in full...)
How long after the first date does a guy call when you already made plans for a second date?
Q. I have a pretty simple question. I met a guy I've been talking to online two days ago and things went VERY well, I thought we connected very well and he said he thought so too and during our first date we planned on a second date, which is h...
A. 2 July 2010: How soon after the first date was the second date set up to be? Perhaps he thinks he shouldn't call since he will meet you soon anyways.... (read in full...)
Does this make me a racist?
Q. dear cupid, me and my girlfriend were talking and i said asian people (like japanese, chinese) have stupid names/stupid-sounding names. she then called me a racist and was extremely upset and hootin' and hollerin'. i kept on telling ...
A. 2 July 2010: ps. darren2040, I know an asian guy named Dick. Another named Candy, and another Bong. Yes, it is funny!... (read in full...)
Does this make me a racist?
Q. dear cupid, me and my girlfriend were talking and i said asian people (like japanese, chinese) have stupid names/stupid-sounding names. she then called me a racist and was extremely upset and hootin' and hollerin'. i kept on telling ...
A. 2 July 2010: I don't think that was racist, although perhaps a little narrow minded and definitely rude. But people say rude jokes all the time. I would have probably laughed when you said that. Others, like your girlfriend, get offended. So watch out for what ... (read in full...)
Threesome!
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 years and the sex is great were both up for anything really , but recently a friend of mine had a threesome two girls one man , I know my partner would love it and I definitly would ,but i cant help thinking would i ...
A. 2 July 2010: q: would you mind linking to that research, Id just love to see it!
As for threesomes. Only do it when YOU and your partner wants it. Not because some friend tried it. You have to be sure that this is right for YOU. Threesomes aren't for everyone... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend let me know she is thinking about other men?
Q. Why is it that my girlfriend thinks its ok to let me know that she be thinking about other men and I not have a problem with it. ...
A. 2 July 2010: We don't know. You need to ask her. And also tell her you don't think this is appropriate or acceptable. ... (read in full...)
I wonder whether this situation has the potential to become terribly messy, or will it be ok?
Q. I have recently been over to Germany where my relatives live. Myself and my cousin have always been attracted to each other and this time I was staying at his place. On this visit we made love for the first time ever. We email and telephone ...
A. 1 July 2010: You cheated, so in that respect I think you know what you did was wrong. You don't need to ask us. If the attraction between you two has always been strong and unstoppable, I wonder why you have never had a relationship? Maybe something to think ... (read in full...)
We used to talk all the time, now we don't seem to have anything to say
Q. I know my boyfriend for almost one year.first we were good friends, then became best friends and now he is my boyfriend. it's been six months since we started our new relationship. I liked him because he was a really nice guy and he always stayed ...
A. 1 July 2010: Prion said what I wanted to say. If you do everything together there might not be much to talk about any longer. Try keeping some level of mystery in your relationship to keep it fun and exciting. Remember how you used to treat each other in the ... (read in full...)
Who should buy the condoms?
Q. Hey, who do you think should supply a condom the boys or the girls? or should they take turns? Thanks....
A. 1 July 2010: Both buy condoms. You don't want to be pregnant do you?... (read in full...)
My embarrassing problem...
Q. Why do I "fart" when me and my husband are having sex? This is embarrassing? Is there anything I can do for this not to happen?...
A. 1 July 2010: You said "fart" with "". So I assume you do not mean a real fart, but air coming from your vagina?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginal_flatulence
Quite common. Embarrassing yes, but common. ... (read in full...)
Help with bikini line!
Q. Hey. I'm going on holiday next week, which means bikini time! I need to tidy up down below and sort out my bikini line. I've never really done it before so I don't know what to do. I won't be able to go to the beautician's. So any advice? Thank you!...
A. 1 July 2010: Use a razor. Do it a week before you are to leave on vacation.. so in other words NOW. This is because you are likely to cut yourself as you've never done it before down there. So you need time to practice getting it right. Shave like you do your ... (read in full...)
His polythene wrapped penis!
Q. hi aunt.. I'm girl of 20 years... I love a boy very much... obviously we did sex but did it in a diffrent way. We used polythene as he forgot to bring condoms.. i was scared to get pregnant but we had sex only for 5 minutes with his polythen...
A. 1 July 2010: First off, if you do not have a condom or are on the pill, don't have sex. There is no excuse. I don't think you will be pregnant, but if you are worried you will end up pregnant it is rather foolish to have unprotected sex. Not to mention I do not ... (read in full...)
Semen in his boxer shorts!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 18 mths now he has lied about his past to me ie sexual partners ect, a few months back i found a pair of boxer shorts behind the tv unit in our bedroom with small semen stains in them, but just about a week later he ...
A. 1 July 2010: He probably leaked, and seeing as he leaves dirty boxers behind the TV he doesn't strike me as the most hygienic person in the world. I don't think your boyfriend cheats, I think he just walks around in dirty underwear way too often. ... (read in full...)
I made a big mistake by having sex, my fling started to ignore me
Q. had a fling with a guy for 2months who recently chatting up a girl in front of me on the street 2 weeks ago, and has the cheek to call me asking if he can see me cos he wants sex. so i told to f off then he said don't talk be talking to me that, ...
A. 1 July 2010: You need to leave him alone! He isn't bothering you, quite the contrary he is ignoring you. Don't have sex with him again, and don't talk to him again either. Good riddance, get him out of your life. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend I don't remember what happened?
Q. hey. One time i went to a pub/club without my girlfriend, and if anyone knows once you have a girlfriend girls suddenly want to talk to you, i told them all to leave me alone as i was not interested, throughout the night i kept drinking and went hom...
A. 1 July 2010: Leave it. Don't bother yourself with it. You don't remember, and it was 3 months ago, there is no evidence you did anything, after all you were kicked out of the club and obviously under observation. If you had done anything your friends would have ... (read in full...)
He cheated when I was pregnant with my third son with a close friend!
Q. Okay so I'm 22 years old I have been married to my husband since I was 16 years old and we have 3 beautifull little boys Unfortatly last year of 2009 I got pregnant with my 3rd son and so around april of 2009 a couple that we had met back in 2006 ...
A. 1 July 2010: Tell her husband.
Then deny your husband the right to talk to this woman (she was his mistress after all). If your husband makes the necessary efforts to prove he is committed to you and to his marriage, work on the marriage. If he is not comm... (read in full...)
She's in eighth grade and I'm going to be a senior, should I date her?
Q. im am 17 and going to be a senior next year, i feel like a creep but there is an eighth that is 14 that i really like and i think she likes me..what should i do date her, tell her to leave me alone or what? ...
A. 1 July 2010: To me that depends on more than just the age. If it was just the age then sure no problem. But consider these things, what does the law say about sex between you two? And it doesn't really matter if you are planning on sleeping together or not, it ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of sex and getting married soon!
Q. Okay so I am 18 and I'm getting married soon. The problem is that I'm a virgin and I am scared to have sex. I have always thought of sex to be disgusting and I even tried to get over it by watching anime porn but I couldn't bring myself to do so. ...
A. 1 July 2010: Anon female, I think getting married pretty much means it is now or never. Why else get married, if you are not ready to take the relationship to the next level! What is marriage about really, if it os not about being everything you can be for each ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: Last time I checked I was not allowed the vaccine because they only hand it out to virgins. But the law might be different in your country. ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: Another link, although I highly recommend you see your doctor instead of trusting all you find online.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/genital_warts/article_em.htm
Once you do get a breakout you will need to see your doctor to get the pr... (read in full...)
How long does it take for genital warts to show up?
Q. If you have beed exposed to genital warts which i have (i knew he had them and it doesnt bother me because i love him but i still have to face the fact that i could have them) how long does it take to show up if you do have it and if you dont have ...
A. 30 June 2010: It can take years. Really. I had them once too and I had no idea where I got them from, because it had been ages ago since the time I could have been exposed. For me it took minimum a year. I could have been exposed earlier. I had absolutely no ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of sex and getting married soon!
Q. Okay so I am 18 and I'm getting married soon. The problem is that I'm a virgin and I am scared to have sex. I have always thought of sex to be disgusting and I even tried to get over it by watching anime porn but I couldn't bring myself to do so. ...
A. 30 June 2010: Foreplay is a part of sex. Any intimate action between people can be judged as sex, even kissing. So "the best sex" is not one particular action. It is often the sum of many actions, such as being with someone you love, kissing, looking into their ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
