| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 16 June 2010: But it's so much fun :D... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 16 June 2010: If anyone read my answer to Celiaaletta about how to compromise on the porn issue, you will see a lot of variety and possibilities. A man can get by without porn. Women get by without porn. Porn is only one thing that adds to the experience of ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 15 June 2010: There is tons of compromise to be made. One example is that the guy and girl talk about this first, decide how important this type of stimulation is to him, and have the girl pick out what he can watch. Maybe she only has a problem with certain ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 15 June 2010: Thanks, I realize now it was badly worded, but you got my point. Thank you. ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 15 June 2010: I don't see how compromise should be excluded however. If a hypothetical relationship is otherwise brilliant I'd say you are lucky. Is it worth giving up a guy over? Not if the guy thinks porn is worth giving up the girl. If both want each other ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 15 June 2010: I'm still rooting for the article writer. She is not the one with the problem here, and I don't have a problem with porn either, so personal attacks aren't called for. However, from our viewpoint (take that I understand what the OP means), porn has ... (read in full...)
Answer to the question most of the teenagers are asking... "Am I pregnant ?!"
Q. Am I pregnant?... This is probably the most asked question on this site. Girls and boys let me first say that if you're not ready to become parents ALWAYS USE A CONDOM OR TAKE THE PILL!!! This is VERY important. Remember this. OK back to the ques...
A. 14 June 2010: To add in more information, the morning after pill must be taken within 72 hours. ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend twice should I tell him?
Q. I had cheated on my bf twice but not really had to boyfriends at once it was just a kissing thing that happens with two different guys in February and March.I was wondering if I should tell him or not. He's the love of my life I'm sure and I think ...
A. 14 June 2010: Why did you cheat when you know how much it would hurt him, and you say you love him? Just an honest question. I think whether or not you tell him should be judged on how much you can have on your conscience and whether you judge this to be ... (read in full...)
E How do we tell our friend that we're pregnant after her miscarriage?
Q. I just found out that I am pregnant and my husband and I are thrilled! We are still very early on in the pregnancy but wanted to share the news with our best friends, who are also married and were expecting their second child. Unfortunately, ...
A. 14 June 2010: In addition to what celtic_tiger said, I hear it was 4 months before people usually tell. My friend waited until she was in 5th month to tell people. Others I know have also waited around 3-4 months before sharing the news with even their own ... (read in full...)
When does sex feel good after losing your virginity??
Q. When Does Sex Get Good? I Have Had Sex Several Times So Far But Still It Just Feels Weird Not Nasty Not Nice Just Boring... Is This Normal...
A. 14 June 2010: How many times? If it doesn't hurt you are over the bad part and now need to work on skills. Is he a virgin too? Tell him to focus on your pleasure and not just his own. For an inexperienced woman it is rarely pleasing to have intercourse, you ... (read in full...)
The gray eyes...
Q. Hi, I took this time to describe my boyfriend and why I love him, now don't skip this story cause its supposed to be a sappy love story, but its sooo ridiculous bf and I met when I was in seventh grade, he's barbadian, (from the island of barbados) ...
A. 14 June 2010: Interesting. How long have you been together now and how did you find the courage to talk to a man who made you feel so hurt and miserable for so many years? ... (read in full...)
"All women do on computers is chat with other guys", and so I am not allowed to buy a laptop!
Q. Hi all, The other day, I mentioned to my partner that I want to buy a laptop, but he is not happy with this idea, as he says I will only use it to chat to other guys because that is all women do on computers! I have tried to convince him wit...
A. 14 June 2010: Tell him that talking to other guys is not cheating. And that he needs to trust you! He can not lock you up and he does not get to decide who you talk to either. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong trying to court someone else's wife?
Q. Through the searching and hunting i have finally found a good chemistry and connection with someone. One problem, she has a husband. I have also met him and he's such a cool guy! I met her through a friend that both her and i are close to, met her ...
A. 14 June 2010: Another good advice: always end one relationship before starting another. She isn't divorced yet, no matter how much you think they talk about it. I believe you genuinely care about her, but she is off limits. You will only end up hurt if you get ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex girlfriend so cold hearted?
Q. hey there ... once again im back here for advice ... if you have read my past posts you would know my background story to just refresh it .. my ex gf of 11 months broke up with me cause she said she didn't love me any more and said she w...
A. 14 June 2010: It is understandable that you are deeply hurt after the break up. She gave you the hope that you would be together thruogh thick and thin, and then it was revealed to not be so. However, it is pointless to focus your anger towards her. She is out of ... (read in full...)
"All women do on computers is chat with other guys", and so I am not allowed to buy a laptop!
Q. Hi all, The other day, I mentioned to my partner that I want to buy a laptop, but he is not happy with this idea, as he says I will only use it to chat to other guys because that is all women do on computers! I have tried to convince him wit...
A. 14 June 2010: Enjoy the freedom of opera and firefox (unless you go for a mac, in that case: enjoy safari)!... (read in full...)
Engaged but still have the single male mentallity, Help
Q. Hello people, I'm 24 year old male engaged to my beautiful finance of 21 of age. Ok the question is why is it that when I see other females I get attracted so fast and a lot of sexual thoughts run through my head? I know its wrong but its something ...
A. 14 June 2010: You are welcome, I hope things sorted themselves out and everything is in order.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my husband's incessant stroppiness?
Q. hi i have been married for 18 months and have been with my husband for appx 4.5yrs, we have a son of 9 months and my husband is so stroppy, moody, and appears angry most of the time, i am struggling to cope with this. i nearly died last christmas ...
A. 13 June 2010: Talk to him about it? I think all you can do is hope that he will realize how he behaves and try and change himself...... (read in full...)
It's all so childish!!!
Q. Hey all im really annoyed and i need some calming down/advice. Me and my ex boyfriend were with each other for just over a year and split over a year ago. I got with my new partner 5 months ago after speaking with him for 2 months before that...
A. 13 June 2010: The girls are annoying, I give you that. But not much to do, apparently they are bored with the small town life and have nothing else to do but gossip and make up rumors. How rude. ... (read in full...)
Should I admit that I've never had a proper relationship but have always slept with prostitutes?
Q. Assuming have stopped going and you are STD free (have been tested) etc, ALWAYS used comdoms etc. Would you admit if asked about previous relationships on a date that you have pretty much only ever slept with prostitutes? Been single and never...
A. 13 June 2010: I'd not speak of it until a proper relationship has been established and I know I can trust the person I tell. It is much like I'd not tell the intimate details of my life prior to my new relationship. Such things are to be revealed when the time is ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had an ectopic pregnancy that can relate?
Q. Hi, This question is kind of medical but sensitive too. Last year I became pregnant, I didn't know that I was until I went to a and e in excruciating pain and heavy bleeding, and I found out then that I was having an ectopic pregnancy, and my tube ...
A. 13 June 2010: Have you talked to your doctor about these pains and got it verified that they are indeed phantom pains? If not you should get it checked out just to be sure.
I am sorry that I can not help you through the other worried you have as I have no ... (read in full...)
If I move in with him, what is the fair way to split the bills?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Recently we've been talking about me moving to live with him in the house he's been paying on for 15 years. Should I pay rent to him, plus half of the monthly utility and food bills if I move ...
A. 13 June 2010: I agree the mortgage is his business, and you two should agree on a fixed price before you move in. In example, how many % of the bills should you pay? 50/50 of all bills except for mortgage sounds reasonable to me. The mortgage is downpayment of ... (read in full...)
My b/f's closeness to his 17 year old daughter makes me uncomfortable
Q. My boyfriend has a 17 year old daughter who asked him to rub fake tan in her back last week when her nan was in the house and she was off to a friends house so i couldn't see why she couldn't have asked one of them. is this normal or am i being ...
A. 13 June 2010: You are over reacting. She came to her dad because she wasn't feeling very well. Lucky for her her dad lives 5 min away so she doesn't have to stay home alone when she is sick.
Change the sheets then if you don't want her to be laying in the bed.... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 13 June 2010: Yeah, I guess. Never had that situation happen though, so it's hard to say. ... (read in full...)
"All women do on computers is chat with other guys", and so I am not allowed to buy a laptop!
Q. Hi all, The other day, I mentioned to my partner that I want to buy a laptop, but he is not happy with this idea, as he says I will only use it to chat to other guys because that is all women do on computers! I have tried to convince him wit...
A. 13 June 2010: This is one of the silliest things ever. Buy the laptop. And as Jmtmj said: he cam go jump in a lake if he doesn't like it. He's dating you, he doesnt OWN you. If he doesn't like who you are and what you do, he needs to find a new girlfriend. But ... (read in full...)
I want to get out of an abusive relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship and living with my boyfriend for the last 7 years,he is 30 I am 24. the past 3 years have been a living hell, he makes my life well miserable. he is rude, mean, selfish and arrogant towards me and other people, inc...
A. 13 June 2010: Remember that you are not responsible for his actions. If he hurts himself, or if he hurts others, it is not your fault. He is a grown man, not your child. You are in no way responsible for him. Remember that. If he makes you so scared of what he ... (read in full...)
Intimacy question: do I get pregnant doing this?
Q. The other day my boyfriend was playing with my breasts and we have even been kissing each other and even touching my stomach.....and this is the first time and i was tensed a bit......do i get pregnant by doing such kind of activities...plz help me ...
A. 12 June 2010: You get pregnant when his penis touches your vulva/goes in the vagina. To be blunt. Please read up on this as Auntie E said. There is much you NEED to learn, but I won't list it all up here.
Go this this site for example:
http://ww... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 12 June 2010: Not saying you guys aren't educated, but I need to inform you of one thing. A vibrator is not the same as a dildo. Why should a woman use a vibrator when a guy is offering his penis? Well because his penis doesn't vibrate, doesn't focus on the clit, ... (read in full...)
Is there a device I can use to protect my upper lip when I give him oral?
Q. I love to give my boyfriend oral and receive tremendous satisfaction from pleasing him. I like to swallow his cum, however, it takes about 15 minuets of working him hard and fast to get my (and his) reward. I wrap my top lip over my teeth so I don’t ...
A. 12 June 2010: Oh wow, talk about bragging. I think 15 min is too quick. Sometimes I get lucky and the right moves so that it only lasts 7 min or less, but in general I think I quit before I even get a man there because it is just too much work and I get tired! So ... (read in full...)
Issue regarding leakage around the non-flowered vagina?
Q. please any advice? i've browsed and browsed and found nothing with this issue regarding leakage around the non-deflowered vagina.. recently had anal sex with my girlfriend but it slipped near her vagina (it's never been penetrated not even fing...
A. 12 June 2010: Very very slim. But still there. It really depends on a lot of factors, as in how close you were, was there any sperm in your "leakage" etc etc. He being a virgin or not has no meaning. ... (read in full...)
Is there a device I can use to protect my upper lip when I give him oral?
Q. I love to give my boyfriend oral and receive tremendous satisfaction from pleasing him. I like to swallow his cum, however, it takes about 15 minuets of working him hard and fast to get my (and his) reward. I wrap my top lip over my teeth so I don’t ...
A. 12 June 2010: Try a different method. Try doing other things than pressing your teeth up against your lip. Hun, I do the same, and I never bled or had to stop because of pain, so you must be doing something wrong. Do less lip action and more tongue action and ... (read in full...)
Why do men never buy me presents?
Q. I want to know why men do not feel that I deserve presents. I am in a relationship now with someone who (admittedly is in a lot of debt) and he just doesn't get me any gifts. For my birthday he got me a couple of books he picked out whilst in a ...
A. 11 June 2010: Ask him, and be honest about your feeling. Maybe you give off a vibe saying you don't like being given gifts? Or maybe he just grew out of that stage where he felt the need to give gifts. Maybe his ex was horrible to him and put him off the lust to ... (read in full...)
He has a foot fetish but I cannot stand anyone touching my feet! How can I get him to stop?
Q. my boyfriend has a foot fetish and i hate feet or people touching my feet, it makes me feel sick and he keeps trying to tickle my feet and i have tried to tell him that i dont like it but i dont just want to say it really direct but it aint getting ...
A. 11 June 2010: You are doing him a huge misfavour. He told you he had a foot fetish from the beginning, and you didn't tell him you don't like anyone touching your feet. Him having a foot fetish means he wants to touch YOUR feet. Not just random strangers. It is ... (read in full...)
My voice sounds like a female's voice! Is there a solution for this?
Q. i am 24 years male, when i am talking on the phone every one understands my voice like female on phone and my friends also told that my voice sounds like female voice.is there a solution for this problem to change my voice into male voice...
A. 11 June 2010: No solution, sorry. You will have to get used to it. But, to comfort you, with age a mans voice usually grows darker. Even when they are done with puberty, with age the voice matures. ... (read in full...)
Demanded my boyfriend gets a paternity test on a potential child..am I in the wrong?
Q. Am I wrong for tell my boyfriend that we won't live together or take any big steps in our relationship until he gets a dna test on a child he doesn't know is his or not? We've been together for almost a year....
A. 11 June 2010: You can't force him to do it, but I'd not get serious in a relationship with this man when he doesn't even know. This is too immature of a behaviour on his side, a reckless behaviour in the past which leads him to not even know. And imagine, if you ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 11 June 2010: Aside from the main point, I want to jump in at the male anon who wanted opinions about women giving up vibrators if men gave up porn. I hardly see how they are the same. Women can give up porn if man gives up porn. Women can give up the vibrator if ... (read in full...)
How do you handle your partner spending so much time away?
Q. This is a question for those people who have a tour guide boy/girlfriend or husband/wife. My girlfriend is an international tour guide and I'm dealing with a situation where she is only at home for about 7 or 8 days before she heads off on her...
A. 11 June 2010: I would still consider the 5 days she is apart from you as a sort of long distance relationship. Because during that time she is far away, and it is so often that she leaves as well, you almost need your own life separate from her because of this. ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid getting hit on when I have a boyfriend?
Q. So, it doesn't happen often, but sometimes guys come up to me when I'm in a public place like a coffee shop or park by myself. Usually I'm reading a book or something but that doesn't really stop them from trying to talk to me. No one has ever ...
A. 11 June 2010: As a thumb rule, any random stranger guy that comes up to you and starts giving you compliments or chats you up is making a move on you. Overly friendly guys hardly exists. And even if they do, be cautious. Some professional players know how to play ... (read in full...)
Engaged but still have the single male mentallity, Help
Q. Hello people, I'm 24 year old male engaged to my beautiful finance of 21 of age. Ok the question is why is it that when I see other females I get attracted so fast and a lot of sexual thoughts run through my head? I know its wrong but its something ...
A. 10 June 2010: It could be you just aren't quite ready to settle down, and so have a slight panic going on subconsciously.... (read in full...)
Engaged but still have the single male mentallity, Help
Q. Hello people, I'm 24 year old male engaged to my beautiful finance of 21 of age. Ok the question is why is it that when I see other females I get attracted so fast and a lot of sexual thoughts run through my head? I know its wrong but its something ...
A. 10 June 2010: Have you always thought like this, or is this something that happened after you got engaged? How did you cope with this attraction when you entered a serious relationship?
I don't know why you think this way, but I will bet my money it is because ... (read in full...)
How do I erase my memories and routine of my ex gf now that I'm single ??
Q. hello there well my ex broke up with me about a week ago. were been dating for about a year . We were very attracted and had strong feelings for each other . we would miss each other as soon well not see each other or we stop talking anyway....
A. 10 June 2010: Its been a week. Allow yourself more time to get over her. Don't think that how you feel is unormal and that you need to change your routine right away. You will get into a new routine slowly, but you need to give it time. Do what you feel ... (read in full...)
Infatuated with my female gym instructor
Q. Hi, I'm a married woman and I have recently become completely infatuated with my female gym instructor. I have never felt an ounce of attraction for a woman before. She is all I think about. I am very shocked with these feelings! She is also ...
A. 10 June 2010: If she is married her husband would have to be included at some level as well.
Get to know this woman more before you take a step in that direction! Or, you could try and ignore this and move on. Cheating is cheating no matter the gender, ... (read in full...)
She initially told me she had a high sex drive! But since moving in together, I've been living like a monk!
Q. Hi there - i'm looking for some advice please... I have been with my girlfriend for roughly a year now, and she recently moved in with me. We have a really good relationship, we're both kind people and considerate and loving to each other. Now we'v...
A. 10 June 2010: Ask her her definition of "high sex drive"
While it is so that you never had much sex, she should respect that YOU need more sex. It shouldn't always be on her terms. And I understand very well hor frustrating it can be when you give your partner ... (read in full...)
How do we break the silence?
Q. My fiance and I can sit in the same room with each other for hours and yet it feels as if we are in seperate rooms. This is a daily thing. We have tried buying games to play, getting new movies, even writting to each other, but we always seem to go ...
A. 10 June 2010: All the things you listed are individual activities. Writing letters: you do that alone. Watching movies: you can do that alone, same with playing a game. It doesn't require a lot of verbal communication.
Try something that requires teamwork... (read in full...)
I see this relationship going somewhere but my mum hates him!
Q. Hey I'm 14yrs old i like my boyfriend a lot and my mom doesn't like him because when he came over she saw some marks on his neck and said that they were hickey marks but i told her the truth and that i was on the phone with him while his cousin ...
A. 10 June 2010: Some mothers will always have a problem with whomever their child dates. For some, no one is good enough, and they will find any reason to say so, even make up things if reasons aren't already in the open. As long as your mother isn't forcing you to ... (read in full...)
Does he masturbate to much?
Q. OK, I need some insight from the guys on a personal matter. I know that it is a private thing, but I am having a hard time dealing with how much my boyfriend masturbates. We probably have sex about twice a week on average and I would like to have ...
A. 10 June 2010: How long have you been with this guy? Yes masturbation is private business, but in a long term relationship it shouldn't be held away as a secret exactly either. Try talking to him and say you would like more sex, but you are insecure about taking ... (read in full...)
Can having a pap smear affect your hymen??
Q. just a question, i am a 20 yr old female and am a virgin. I got a pap smear test the other day as part of an general check up. I said i didnt need one for obvious reasons but the doctor wanted to give me one anyway just to make sure everything was ...
A. 10 June 2010: Ask your doctor. She is the only one who can tell you exactly why you should have that test and if that test could have broken your hymen. I believe that test allowed your doctor to see if there at all was a hymen there, so she should know.
The p... (read in full...)
How do you handle your partner spending so much time away?
Q. This is a question for those people who have a tour guide boy/girlfriend or husband/wife. My girlfriend is an international tour guide and I'm dealing with a situation where she is only at home for about 7 or 8 days before she heads off on her...
A. 10 June 2010: Hi again! Im not sure if you remember, but I am in a long distance relationship myself so I know what you are talking about. I think it is a state of mind you just have to get yourself into. I find it very hard to not be needy and want more. I think ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 4 June 2010: Great article, it was a good read. Well argumented.... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
