| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My phobia prevents me from seeking medical help. What is wrong wth me?
Q. hi im hopeing maybe i can get some help on this health question. Im 23 yrs old and have resently started suffering with terrible head aches im constantly tierd and in the past few yrs my eye sight has gone very poor. i recently visited my opticions ...
A. 7 August 2010: Change your doctor to someone you are more comfortable with! ... (read in full...)
How long will the pain of a break-up last for?
Q. The man I have been with dumped me this morning after three years of dating . He stated he is depressed and blamed me. Said he needs to find himself . What want to know is how long does it take to mend a broken heart . I was /am. In love with this ...
A. 6 August 2010: The pain will last a bit and be the strongest right now. Just hang in there. It will diminish, trust me. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him, and go spoil yourself, and then cry your eyes out. But after you have cried, try to stop crying ... (read in full...)
How long will the pain of a break-up last for?
Q. The man I have been with dumped me this morning after three years of dating . He stated he is depressed and blamed me. Said he needs to find himself . What want to know is how long does it take to mend a broken heart . I was /am. In love with this ...
A. 5 August 2010: It will take you about 1-2 years. The pain will be intense the first 6 months, then slowly diminish. By one year you will only remember him now and then, and after 2 years he should be completely out of your system. Well, based on my own personal ... (read in full...)
Trouble having an orgasm. Please help.
Q. I never seen to climax when my boyfriend is on top, and feel like i can't tell him about the problem. I've never came from the g-spot, and when i do come during sex its only because of the friction caused to my clit. I dont know if there is somethin...
A. 5 August 2010: Hello. This isn't a problem, so please stop referring to it as a problem. This is how women work. This is normal. Consider yourself lucky if you are able to come with your boyfriend alone and not have to use toys at the same time. It is extremely ... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact that my wife loved someone else before she married me!
Q. hi, i am 36-yr old male but look like 27yr, i.e, everyone says as well as i know my appearance and I got married in my 29 and now I came to know after 7-yrs, my wife used to love somebody before marriage, who was muslim smart and handsome person ...
A. 5 August 2010: You need to remind yourself that even if she used to love someone, she and that person didn't get married. She married you. She loves you now, just like you love her, even though you too used to love someone else. You don't get only once chance to ... (read in full...)
Are my feelings justified or am I just overly paranoid?
Q. Hello everyone! Well, I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years now (October is our anniversary). Okay, the first thing that had angered me was that he pictures of two girls on his phone. He said I was overreacting and I sh...
A. 5 August 2010: You are over-reacting. And he sounds like he is just like you, when he wants you to change partners for a dance. Don't change your partner for the dance. Dance with whomever you like, or even out of spite if you please, because he has no business ... (read in full...)
Am I too attached to my boyfriend?
Q. Hi. There's something, I don't know if that's a problem but I'm extremely attached to my boyfriend but in a very exaggerated way. We are together like 12 hr a day everyday, he wants to be with me all the time and I want to be with him too, w...
A. 5 August 2010: You are newly in love and want to spend every breathing moment with each other. This is very normal. But see the larger picture, do not quit your job to be with him. You got the job because you need the money. Unless your boyfriend pays you to be ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boyfriend, so why am I falling for another guy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and really love him to pieces. We've often talked about marriage and I know that he is proposing really soon :-). Over the past few months though, I've been kinda falling for this other guy. He's great, funny, ...
A. 5 August 2010: Do you want to have sex with your boyfriend as well, or only this other guy? Are you no longer physically attracted to your boyfriend?
Depending on your answer I can give you my thoughts... but it really all depends on whether you still think yo... (read in full...)
Lies about her past........
Q. me and my girlfriend were talking about her past early in our relationship and she said she had anly slept with 2 other people only 7 times and only had oral once... i read her diary and it said she had slept with 3 guys and one guy was 7 times and ...
A. 5 August 2010: What can you do about what? This isn't really a problem. She wont admit to something she even in her diary said she didn't do... You need to leave this alone! It was extremely rude of you to read her diary. I wonder if she has lost her trust in you ... (read in full...)
What should I expect when I lose my virginity to my best friend?
Q. Im only 15. i know im young but me and my best guy friend decided we might have sex. I dont know what to do or what to expect....We are just friends and its going to stay that way we are just going to do it to expiriment kinda. I dont really think ...
A. 4 August 2010: My advice to you... realize that after this you will no longer be "just friends". It wont happen. You are turning your friendship into a "friends with benefits". How many times are you going to experiment? Realize that feelings WILL get involved. ... (read in full...)
We wants to bring another man into the bedroom! I don't know what to think of this!
Q. I have been Married for 12 years and with my husband for 14 years. we have 4 wonderful children together. Friday night in the midst of our sexcapade in the bedroom out of the blue he asked if i would be ok with him bringing his male friend into the ...
A. 2 August 2010: I don't think he suggested it because he finds you boring, quite the opposite. He suggested it because he thinks you are so open and confident in bed that you would perhaps consider bringing another person into the bedroom, and that he trusts you ... (read in full...)
My phobia prevents me from seeking medical help. What is wrong wth me?
Q. hi im hopeing maybe i can get some help on this health question. Im 23 yrs old and have resently started suffering with terrible head aches im constantly tierd and in the past few yrs my eye sight has gone very poor. i recently visited my opticions ...
A. 31 July 2010: Such up your phobia. It is ironic that you are scared of the one thing that could possibly save your life. I don't want you make you scared because I have no idea if what you are suffering from is serious or easily treated. But you wont know either ... (read in full...)
I want to say no nicely, and I want discretion....
Q. Hi I have a married male friend who recently asked me to have an affair with him, I too am married and love my husband dearly and would never cheat on him. How can I let this man know that as much as I like him I do not like him in that way and not ...
A. 31 July 2010: Tell him "No, I don't want an affair with you, and please do not talk about this with any of our other friends. I want to keep this embarrassment of yours private."
Come on.. this is his wrongdoing, not yours. If your friends find out they wil... (read in full...)
I need advice about sex...How to be safe, and satisfying
Q. i want to make a safe sex with my girl friend. We are realy sincere with each other therefore we want to make sexual relation between us. . ! Please give me tips by which we make our sex long at night and i don't want her pregnant. Help me s0on. . ! ...
A. 31 July 2010: You need to use condoms. But are you sure about this? Even with condoms there is always a risk of pregnancy. I don't mean to sound discriminating or ignorant, but I have also read questions from girls from Pakistan on here that are worried because ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm too clingy!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend 9 months and she says i am too clingy... How can i be less clingy? I am 15, we both contact through texting... We both have unlimited texts so we can contact each other whenever we like? i want the sort of hard-t...
A. 29 July 2010: Don't text her, only reply to her texts. Then you will be hard-to-get, but be aware you might also appear snobby. Ask her how she is, but never ask for details. If the girl wants to tell you she will on her own, without anyone doing an intervention ... (read in full...)
Two days after anal sex and I'm still bleeding. Is this normal?
Q. I tried anal sex for the first time with my bf, and it hurt so I told him too pull it out even before it got all the way in. When I got home, and used the restroom -number2- I realized my anus was bleeding. This is the second day that it's been ...
A. 29 July 2010: You can bleed from anal sex, but it shouldn't continue for days. I am afraid that if it continues, and it is more than just a few droplets a day, you need to see a doctor. But if it is just a few droplets and it stops soon, it is probably nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I Continue to talk to him?
Q. I'm talking to an army guy who has post tramatic stress should I continue to talk to him?...
A. 29 July 2010: Talking wont harm you. What else did you have in mind? If you are thinking marriage then maybe you are thinking a bit far ahead? Yes there can be extra difficulties with someone who has post traumatic stress syndrome, but that really depends on the ... (read in full...)
Was what he did with me considered cheating? And how can I get over the feeling of being used only for sex?
Q. Hello everyone! Soooo I have a bit of a problem... This summer was a pretty crazy one for me. I lost my virginity to my bestfriend. We didn't start dating or anything, but I didn't expect him to be talking to another girl. Throughout the summer i...
A. 29 July 2010: And you call this your best friend? Geez, what a smuck. He was using you for sex. And no friend would ever do that, none the less cheat on their friend. Your "friend" was cheating on both of you in a way because even if he wasn't dating you ... (read in full...)
Its not her thing so why is she mad at me?
Q. What did I Do Wrong? Ok so me and my guy best friend John, are planning a camping trip. He made up a list with, Some french girls (I live in a french english community), Some guys, me and my boyfriend. Well talking to me one friend about it, he went ...
A. 29 July 2010: Because you treat her like she is an annoyance. You don't wanna "take care of her": She can manage on her own. If she wants to come why would you shut her out? Is she that bothersome? Because that is the impression you are giving off, that she is ... (read in full...)
He can't get over the fact that I cheated, even though he's cheated too!
Q. So I cheated on my bf and I told him...I told because I hate lieing to him..At first he took it like it was okay then later he wrote me a long ass message..Saying that he thought he couldn't take it but he said it was time he let me go...But the ...
A. 29 July 2010: He cheated too? Im not sure if you mean he actually did the same as you or just something similar, but two wrongs doesn't make a right. He has every right to be upset with you and not forgive you, just because he cheated himself doesn't mean he has ... (read in full...)
No comfort or serious communication from my friends, what should I do?
Q. I feel drained and used by my friends. When they have problems, I listen to them and am there for them. However when I talk to them, they don't repay me in the same way. They'll instead reply with "Well, at least this didn't happen" or they try to ...
A. 29 July 2010: People comfort each other in different ways. You comfort your friend the way you would like them to comfort you, and they comfort you the way they would like you to comfort them. Most probably. People interact differently, what you put in is not ... (read in full...)
7 year relationship.. make it or break it?
Q. MODS NOTE: OP's own title. To start off with, my boyrfriend and I have dated for 7 years. it was great up until last summer. In the summer we dont see eachother much due to us working everyday, we are both 21. whe broke up with me last summer and ...
A. 29 July 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/if-i-bring-up-my-concerns-again-i.html
Double question... (read in full...)
Show him I'm not playing him? (hes not replying)
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title: hey,so i like this guy and he said he liked me to. we went on a date,but in the end up invited a few others round to to his to have a drink/play the wii etc. after we watched a dvd the guy i liked asked me if i wanted t...
A. 29 July 2010: He is the one playing you. If he actually liked you he'd ask you to be his girlfriend, not to have sex with him. Some guys just want sex. He sounds like one of them. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't have sex with him as he would have ignored ... (read in full...)
My husband found out I am not a virgin! What can I do?
Q. sir,,i got a mistake,my problem is that my husband got on first night that i am not virgin girl.what can i do....
A. 29 July 2010: Are you a virgin or are you not? And how long have you been married? And can he prove that you are not a virgin? What will happen now, will he divorce you?... (read in full...)
Sheer bathing suits. OK, or not OK?
Q. I like it when my girl wears semi sheer bathing suits to the beach. Or even in the hot tub with friends. We experimented with cutting out the lining on a few pairs, and it seems to work well -especially with darker suits as her bits are then only ...
A. 28 July 2010: I wouldn't do it out of respect for whoever else will see it. But in private with my man and I, I wouldn't mind. I even went to a nudist camp with my boyfriend and we both enjoyed it. But showing myself off to people who are not interested I see as ... (read in full...)
I'm very insecure about my body, What can I do?
Q. I have really small breasts and I feel insecure. I admit a bit of it is my own fault for letting it get to me, but a lot of people (especially insensitive guys) have commented negatively about this fact - also with the media and porn that men like, ...
A. 28 July 2010: The boobs in porns are fake, and the boobs in magazines are for most part photoshopped.
Go buy yourself a push up bra and a tight top with cleavage and take a look in the mirror. I think that will help you more than any advice.
Plus, small b... (read in full...)
Would I be sloppy seconds if I chose to go out with him?
Q. I've had a crush on this guy for about 4 months now, on and off, and he's sending some pretty mixed signals. Just so you know, he's really sweet and would never knowingly hurt anyone. We had a class together in school and I was positive he liked me ...
A. 28 July 2010: I think you are right.. he first off chose a completely different girl from you, in fact your arch enemy. That tells you his idea of what girl he likes is nothing like you. Then he gets rejected and comes crying to you. Sloppy seconds indeed. No one ... (read in full...)
How can I make our first time special?
Q. Hey, I'm a virgin and my boyfriend isn't and i know that it will hurt my 1st time but i want it to be special i dont want him to remember it as me just laying there doing nothing! I want to give him a lot of pleasure! and why do guys say virg...
A. 28 July 2010: Please read up on your sexuality. Yes you need to use a condom. And guys says virgins are better because way too many man struggle with retroactive jealousy (they can't deal with their girlfriend having had sexual partners before them), and virgins ... (read in full...)
What are the sure signs that a guy is into you?
Q. what are the closest to sure signs you can get from a guy that he is interested in you; what kind of: eye contact, touching, talking, attention, etc... are giveaways? xoaintno...
A. 28 July 2010: Sure definite signs? This might be old school but it is the best advice I have: He invites you home to look at his stamp collection. Any variation counts. If a man/boy asks you to come home to him to look at whatever odd and boring thing he has (his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't go down on my unless I'm shaved
Q. My boyfriend and I were talking about "what ifs". and it came up, "what if i was nine months pregnant and couldnt shave "down there"?" his response, "i wouldnt go down on you". my thought was arent you suppose to love someone even in there natural ...
A. 28 July 2010: As for the pregnancy thing, he could just offer to shave you for you. That is sexy and intimate.
As for the no comparison possible between men and women on this area... Hairy balls are hairy.. And yes you do get hairs in your mouth when you go d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't go down on my unless I'm shaved
Q. My boyfriend and I were talking about "what ifs". and it came up, "what if i was nine months pregnant and couldnt shave "down there"?" his response, "i wouldnt go down on you". my thought was arent you suppose to love someone even in there natural ...
A. 28 July 2010: He is young and doesn't know how to say the right things. Yes he should love you for you in your natural state, but obviously no one likes hairs in their mouth. That would be like you asking him to lick your head, or even worse, a cat. No one wants ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slept with his brother's wife before he met me?? Please help?
Q. Ok, so before my boyfriend and I started dating, he slept with his brothers wife supposedly just once. We started dating maybe about 5 months after this happened and he told me about 7 months into our relationship out of guilt. At first, I was ...
A. 27 July 2010: I have to say that I would consider this a deal breaker too. His morals are basically nonexistent. Telling everyone just might get the brother to divorce the wife, but he might not, and things will be 100% as sour. In addition everyone in his family ... (read in full...)
What dirty talk do girls like?
Q. What r some dirty things I can whisper to my wife during sex to get her off? She's real good at the Nastybtalk during sex, and I really like it. Problem is, I am not sure what to say to her. What do girls like to hear. It's easy for girls, "fuck ...
A. 27 July 2010: Well, ask her. I am not going to write dirty talk on dear cupid, those things are private for me. You should just ask your wife, or test it out and see how she reacts. The best is usually to do the simple and easy things as your wife is already ... (read in full...)
My Brother is Lazy & Selfish, & Abusing Me on Facebook!
Q. Please Help! I know its long but i'm desperate...I dont know what to do about my brother. I am a full time University student working full time for the summer even though I am considered as being a student with a permanent disability(due...
A. 27 July 2010: This is not your problem, but your brothers. He is extremely immature and childish. Jeez. Don't play his game, just raise yourself above it and walk with your back straight. Don't let him get to you. Show him how adults treat kids like him, and do ... (read in full...)
Help I'm being bullied...
Q. I am nineteen and I live in England. I go to college here and in September I'm starting again. I love it there and I have some good friends but there's this lad in my class who is gay and he constantly makes my life hell he even smacked me with ...
A. 27 July 2010: Tell your teachers. That is the way you should go, and the way you are sure to make him stop. They will talk to him, and if it doesn't stop, probably involve his parents. He could potentially get kicked out of school too. At no age should this be ... (read in full...)
Should I marry someone who betrayed me like this?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me 1 time. We've been dating for nearly 5 years, and we recently got engaged. I found out that a year ago he slept with this girl, after major flirting went on between them for a few months (i.e., ...
A. 27 July 2010: Don't marry him. He made a conscious choice to cheat on you. This defines his personality. He knew what he did was wrong. Yet he did it. He might be a great man otherwise, but do you want to live with this? Maybe it is better to call off the ... (read in full...)
For the guys... what differentiates between a one-night-stand girl and a keeper?
Q. This ones for the guys... what makes a girl decent for a one night stand? what makes a woman ideal for a relationship? What kind of girls would you consider only good for one night? i'm talking looks and personality. And why do you think that if...
A. 27 July 2010: Dear male anon, love at first sight is not about love for appearance, but being able to see more of who the person is by first look, or first meeting. Being able to see who they are from the first moment, and falling for that. It is not about ... (read in full...)
Up until a few months ago, he never mentioned money! I don't know how to react to the change!
Q. (first of all I'm 19 not 26) My bf of 2 years never ever mentioned money or cost in front of me. Always he tells me "do you want something" and he buys me stuff and all and I always tell him to stop because he is spending to much money and he would ...
A. 26 July 2010: Sounds like he has suddenly started having financial problems that he didn't have before.
Have a long and good talk, and tell him about your concerns and how uncomfortable this makes you feel. I know where you are coming from, and it is very unc... (read in full...)
For the guys... what differentiates between a one-night-stand girl and a keeper?
Q. This ones for the guys... what makes a girl decent for a one night stand? what makes a woman ideal for a relationship? What kind of girls would you consider only good for one night? i'm talking looks and personality. And why do you think that if...
A. 26 July 2010: I just thought of something that I found interesting. When I look at the newly-wed pages in the newspapers, the women who get married seem to always be a bit on the chubby side. Maybe guys like to marry round and curvy women because they look like ... (read in full...)
For the guys... what differentiates between a one-night-stand girl and a keeper?
Q. This ones for the guys... what makes a girl decent for a one night stand? what makes a woman ideal for a relationship? What kind of girls would you consider only good for one night? i'm talking looks and personality. And why do you think that if...
A. 26 July 2010: Not a guy but here's my take on guys/girls. Any girl/guy is ideal for a one-night stand, as long as she/he is not clingy or looks ugly and are extremely unattractive or plain weird.
A woman/man that is suitable for a relationship is someone ... (read in full...)
Her parents want us to take a test to see if we had sex
Q. MOD NOTE: All signs point to the fact that the poster cannot be 33. okay i had sex with this girl and her parents kinda know so now they want us to go take a test to see if we did and i never cum in her would they still find out?...
A. 26 July 2010: Her parents can not force you to take a test. But I believe it is possible to see if a girl has had sex if her hymen is broken. Then again the hymen can be broken from all other things.
I don't think it is possible to test this. What her parents ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about staying with the cousin that I barely know...we were both abused by his late father...
Q. Ok guys heres my problem . earlia on in the year i was sexually abused by my uncle . this led to months of depression and even a spell in hospital - as i couldnt deal with the aftermath of what he had done . well it turns out there have been ...
A. 26 July 2010: If you don't really know him, how is it that you know about him being sexually abused by his father? Has Dan told everyone in the family? Does everyone in the family also know about how you were abused?
I think you might want to talk to Dan. It ... (read in full...)
How do I get guys to look at me as more than just a one night stand?
Q. Okay so I'm a 18 years old girl, I consider myself as a okay looking girl but I do have a serious problem that just makes my self-esteem really low. I never had a boyfriend. Guys just aren't interested in me (except as a sexual object or something ...
A. 26 July 2010: For how long have you been looking for a serious relationship? These things can take time. Unless you want a quick hookup, you need to be patient and wait for the right guy. My guess is that at 18, you have barely started exploring the dating world. ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
