| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
I plan to move to America... but how do I to tell Mum and Dad!
Q. hello reader i am 17 and i didn't stay at school or go to college i have regretted that as i haven't been able to fibd work. i am now thinking about going back to college and getting some education the thing is next year if i have enough m...
A. 25 June 2010: are you old enough to be allowed to make these decisions on your own? I don't know what would be a good way to talk to your parents if they are protective of you, that is up to you and them. I don't know them. But often, if you have proven yourself ... (read in full...)
Making decisions about the future..
Q. Have you ever felt deeply regretful of a decision you made in the past? For example, you get rid of A, thinking that B is better and you can gain it. However, after you leave A, you fail to get B too. And now you miss your good times in A and wish ...
A. 25 June 2010: Many times we just need time to adjust to the new situation, and the regrets that overwhelm us are temporary and caused by uncertainty. When you become confident, and remember your reasons for making the decision you did, you will relax more and see ... (read in full...)
He sitll has her number. What does it mean?
Q. what does it mean when your boyfriend of 1year and 4 momths still has his ex girlfriends number in his phoe,but say he dont call them...
A. 25 June 2010: An ex is an ex for a reason, yes, which is why he can still have her number, but wont be dating them again. I really don't see how him having her number can mean is is still interested, nor do I see why ex's should be cut out of your life ... (read in full...)
My girl likes them more than she likes me!
Q. I believe a topic like this was opened except my girlfriend has been "best" friends with these 2 guys her "whole" life...We've been dating for several months now, but I really feel like a second-class person whenever they talk on facebook about good ...
A. 25 June 2010: Yupp, they can not compare to you. So try to not compare yourself to them. They are friends. You are her boyfriend. You are in a different league of your own. There is no hierarchy however, you don't have the right to demand more from her than her ... (read in full...)
He sitll has her number. What does it mean?
Q. what does it mean when your boyfriend of 1year and 4 momths still has his ex girlfriends number in his phoe,but say he dont call them...
A. 25 June 2010: Caring Guy, I didn't understand this "There aren't hidden messages. If he has his ex's number, there is a reason.". If there aren't hidden messages (I also have this impression of men, they aren't conspiring creatures, they are just goofy sometimes) ... (read in full...)
He sitll has her number. What does it mean?
Q. what does it mean when your boyfriend of 1year and 4 momths still has his ex girlfriends number in his phoe,but say he dont call them...
A. 24 June 2010: It means he probably has his phone list stocked up with a ton of other useless numbers he never uses. Like that takeway chinese place back where he used to live. Or to that old colleague of his he hasn't spoken to for years.
He keeps his ex there... (read in full...)
Why don't I love him? Help!
Q. My bf is hot,cute and honest and loves me like hell. And here is the turning point. I dont love him. Why why why wont any one love some one like that? And thats why i broke up. But he still loves me and i still think why dont i love him? I want to ...
A. 24 June 2010: You can't make your heart feel what is not there.
Love doesn't happen on command, or when a certain set of criteria are met. Either you love someone or you don't. You don't, and I think you made the right decision by letting him go. It would no... (read in full...)
She's a virgin. Will she get used to foreplay over time?
Q. Okay I have a few questions, I dated a girl not to long back that I lost my virginity to, she was a whore so I never really liked sleeping with her, but because of that fast, I got really good at using my fingers on her and bringing her to a gushing ...
A. 24 June 2010:
Basically, ignore whatever your ex was or how things worked with your ex. She is out of the picture. Your girl never had an orgasm before with you. Or ever. She needs time to understand how to work her body, how to orgasm basically. It is a lot ... (read in full...)
What happens in Las Vegas... Really... What's happening in Las Vegas?
Q. We have only been living together for 3 months, and I even moved across country to be with him, as we were long distance for a year and a half. So, one morning before he left (for a boy's weekend in Las Vegas), I walked the bedroom and heard him at ...
A. 24 June 2010: As a side note, for the snooping issue. If you feel the need to snoop just leave the man instead. Clearly there is not enough trust in the relationship, he is not trustworthy, and you don't feel secure. If you feel the need to snoop you might as ... (read in full...)
What happens in Las Vegas... Really... What's happening in Las Vegas?
Q. We have only been living together for 3 months, and I even moved across country to be with him, as we were long distance for a year and a half. So, one morning before he left (for a boy's weekend in Las Vegas), I walked the bedroom and heard him at ...
A. 24 June 2010: It is possible. I don't know how often they exchange condoms in his group of friends, but unlikely as it might sound everything is possible. The issue I see here though is that there are too many red flags. He brought the condoms... even if they ... (read in full...)
A major decision to make...move on or get married
Q. I am in a major crisis. I am 31 yrs old about to be 32. I have always had trouble making decisions in my life and I have struggled with this and know I have to work on it. My crisis now is regarding my relationship. In a nutshell, I have been ...
A. 24 June 2010: This relationship is not yet ready for marriage. I wont say it never will be, clearly you love this man very much, and he loves you. But there are insecurities, promises that have not been kept, the traveling back and forth. Not to mention, you are ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to stop being so emotional about money and our finances??
Q. My husband gets very emotional when it comes to finances. He's not very good with handling money - he doesn't spend excessively, he just doesn't focus on how much he has and doesn't make plans or schedules. He's been this way for as long as I can ...
A. 24 June 2010: I believe his relationship with money comes from how he was raised and his experience with money while growing up. I don't know how his family economic status is/was, but perhaps there was a lot of pressure on money, or the complete lack of ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be gay! What signs should I look for?
Q. i am a bit worried about my boyfriend, as i think he is gay, been together 2 years and he tells me everyday that he loves me, he always wants sex with me most the time and he mainly makes the first moves, he kisses me alot and holds me all night, ...
A. 24 June 2010: If he is your boyfriend he is not gay. If he was a boy's boyfriend he would be gay. That is typically how it goes. Him being organized is NOT a sign of being gay. If he was gay he wouldn't be that interested in having sex with you either, or even ... (read in full...)
Going to a party and need ideas on how to get a guy to notice me!
Q. I am going to a party this weekend and i need ideas on how to make a guy notice you. I like a boy in my grade and he says he will ask me out but he hasn't yet! I need to make him ask soon... Any ideas?...
A. 23 June 2010: To get attention at a party: smile a lot, talk to people and be open to talk to people you don't know that well. If there is dancing going on, up on the dance floor you go. He might not contact you right away that same night, but if you show him you ... (read in full...)
Is it the right time to propose to him? Last time he said it was too early.
Q. I've been with him just over a year and one month. So far the main problem has been that his first ex (whom he loved like mad) wants him back. But he says he never go back to her and loves me alot. I want to propose to him but not sure how? Cause ...
A. 23 June 2010: If you already proposed to him once, he knows you want to marry him. But he needs more time. I believe, if he wants to marry you, and when he feels ready, he will propose himself. Be patient! You are still very young and it is easy to let feelings ... (read in full...)
A girl has a crush on my husband. Should I be worried?
Q. Well I soooo need help in this issue I have. My husband and I were having a great morning he walked into the living room to play with the kids and hid phone was right next to me in the bed then a text rolled in I looked at the phone becaues are frie...
A. 23 June 2010: This is cause for concern. I am not sure how this all happened. Did you tell him what she had said and did he comfort you at all? Did he say anything other than "she probably has a little crush on me, and is just an immature kid?" Because those ... (read in full...)
Sex cyber girlfriend
Q. Hello i'm just wondering is it wrong to have cyber sex with an older woman while i got a girlfriend. i've been cyber sexting her for a while now i masturbate to her this it feels good but am i doing a bad thing here and should i tell my girlfriend ...
A. 23 June 2010: This is cheating. If you tell your girlfriend she will be very hurt and sad. But continuing to do this is not fair on her. Everyone deserves someone who respects them enough to be faithful. If have doubts about this though, ask your girlfriend what ... (read in full...)
Dating, Age, Time, and Celibacy...Recipe for being Alone Forever?
Q. I have been alone- without being on a single date- since 1997. When I was younger, out of college I worked 8 years, 7 days a week, year round, 10-24 hours a day. The only time I had off was extremely rare and I was normally mentally exhaust...
A. 23 June 2010: A last note, you said when you described why you want children "I continue to exist". No you don't. Your child is not you. You have to look outside of the box and to the wider picture. If you make a difference in someone's life, then you have made a ... (read in full...)
Dating, Age, Time, and Celibacy...Recipe for being Alone Forever?
Q. I have been alone- without being on a single date- since 1997. When I was younger, out of college I worked 8 years, 7 days a week, year round, 10-24 hours a day. The only time I had off was extremely rare and I was normally mentally exhaust...
A. 23 June 2010: You have to lower your standards man. And you have to take a deeper look at the "ideal woman" you are portraying. First off, if you did find a young geekette into online gaming, (and contrary to your beliefs gaming isn't really just for young ... (read in full...)
Fear of fellatio
Q. I'm a female and this is about my boyfriend. I am 19 years old so over legal age. His my first b/f and we been seeing each other for 5 months. He's gone down on me and we have had sex but I'm so nervous about going down on him! In my head I think, ...
A. 22 June 2010: I tried to look it up, you mean a handjob? And you only gave him that once? And it made you more scared? Before you move on to blowjobs you should practice the handjob and get comfortable with it. Blowjobs are a step up, and if you don't feel ... (read in full...)
Fear of fellatio
Q. I'm a female and this is about my boyfriend. I am 19 years old so over legal age. His my first b/f and we been seeing each other for 5 months. He's gone down on me and we have had sex but I'm so nervous about going down on him! In my head I think, ...
A. 22 June 2010: Can you please tell me what a HJ is first?
As to how to get over your fear of giving a blowjob, it really helps if you understand your own fears. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid you will do something wrong and potentially harm him? Or that ... (read in full...)
How can I flirt on webcam?
Q. How can I flirt on webcam? Riiightt.. I want to flirt with a guy on webcam, and like, i know how to flirt in general, but how can i on webcam? I wanna like, Take my top off and just be in my underwear NOTHING else is coming off! lmaoo.. but how can ...
A. 21 June 2010: Taking your top of isn't flirting. It's slutty. Don't mix those two things. Flirting is done with clothes on. You flirt by smiling, friendly teasing, showing a genuine interest in the other, while all along pretend to be uninterested in the guy as ... (read in full...)
Should we try marital counselling again?
Q. My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks (married 2 years). For the last 6 months of our marriage it's been terrible. During that time we went through marital counseling and honestly it was not effective. My husband wants me to return ...
A. 21 June 2010: He needs to address his issues. And he is not in a position to make demands. A marriage is between two people, not for one to control and take charge over the other. So, if he is unwilling to better himself and take part of the responsibility, ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl sighs or breathes deeply around a particular guy?
Q. *OP's Original Title* So there's this girl and I think she likes me. Among the usual things (eye contact, glancing, shy when I talk to her .etc) she sometimes sighs or breathes deeply when she passes by me or is in my vicinity. She is also clumsy ....
A. 21 June 2010: Maybe she has asthma. It is an unusual way to attract attention in any case. Are you sure this is not just the way she breathes? I never sighed unless I was worn out and tired. I think girls only sigh to show affection in disney movies... ... (read in full...)
Problem bonding with my newborn son...
Q. Well I had my 2nd baby nearly 4 months ago now. My oldest is nearly two. the problem is i'm worried I havn't bonded properly with my newborn. I think part of it was to do with the fact that all through my pregnancy I was told i ws havng a girl - and ...
A. 21 June 2010: You are not alone! Many mothers go through this. There is nothing wrong with you.
It could be post-partum depression. http://www.seekwellness.com/conditions/mental/post-partum_depression.htm
It could be something that will pass by itself, ... (read in full...)
Just curious, could an affair ever be justified for purely sexual satisfaction reasons?
Q. Please understand that I love my husband and have not cheated on him. The reason I am asking this is because I feel so conflicted at the moment I need impartial advice. I love my husband. He was my first (not only) lover and when we got married I...
A. 21 June 2010: No, there is nothing justifying it, because it is not about sex. It is about deceit and betrayal. And it will hurt him a lot more than it could ever pleasure you. Just imagine how you'd feel if he was the one who cheated on you. No excuse or reason ... (read in full...)
I'm desperate for sex after an LTR without it!
Q. I split with my partner earlier this year after nine years because of total sexual incompatibility which just became such a big deal. My partner no longer wanted sex - it was never a terribly frequent occurence and oral sex (either way) had always ...
A. 21 June 2010: Flirt, go out, and date! Find a new girlfriend fast, that seems to be the only solution. Go to the gym and make sure you are healthy and a good catch for women.
For the time being, have you tried different types of toys? They can offer a differen... (read in full...)
I'm destroyed by jealousy, and broke up with her. But I wish I had her back.
Q. I am totally devastated. I love my girlfriend so much, but I have dumped her. Cannot tell why... A jealousy story, something that happened between us recently and that never went out of me. It's still inside, painful, pushing me to do things I d...
A. 21 June 2010: I am so sorry. But you should not go back to her. She is damaged enough as it is and you need to work on yourself before you try to get in a relationship with anyone.
Learn how to control your jealousy and become a better man. Maybe after yo... (read in full...)
Why are so many people in abusive relationships/marriages?
Q. I read so many questions about people stuck in "abusive relationship"s and marriages and I can't help but wonder: 1. how did this happen? I mean, why do people let themselves be stepped on like that? Why do people treat their significant o...
A. 21 June 2010: I take abusive as meaning you have been treated in a way to lower your self esteem, so that you regard yourself as worthless. So that you are beyond your partner. Verbally abusive to me is not when you have an argument, but when you are being lashed ... (read in full...)
How can I let go of the man who would be completely perfect if it wasn't because he's too jealous?
Q. I'm having a hard time letting go of my ex. We had many issues concerning jealousy (mostly his) during the relationship. The problem is, I was very patient during our relationship, and I put up with his distrust, jealousy and anger. I never cheated ...
A. 21 June 2010: YouWish is right. If you want to cut loose, cut ALL contact. Every boyfriend will be the "best friend". But you will make new friends.
The only other option I can give, which might be crazy to some, is that you quit accepting everything. Show him... (read in full...)
What I've learned from my family.
Q. In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
A. 21 June 2010: Thank you both anonymous and Samantha. As far as being angry goes, I can't deny it. I am angry. I am angry that these things just go by unnoticed, that no one picked up on what was going on for me when I was a child and just thought I had trouble ... (read in full...)
I want to rekindle our romance. Should I ask him to marry me?
Q. hey my boyfriend broke up with me because we are going around in circles and he feels the love gone and he says we never get back together so no point talking about it. but hes the one for me he was always the one for me but i guess i never really ...
A. 20 June 2010: I think Caring Guy is right. Don't ask him just yet. A marriage proposal should not be done out of desperation, but out of happiness.
I know how you feel, and it is hard to move on. But don't determine the course of your life out of desperat... (read in full...)
Why might a virgin not bleed?
Q. I am a girl of 19yrs,i meet a boy of 29yrs whom i hv being dating for 2years.recently he has being making life unbearable 4 me because there was no spill of blood or pains as he was the first man i ever had sexual intercourse with.so,what causes a ...
A. 20 June 2010: Many have asked this question, so you are not alone! Read some of these for more advice on similar situations.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/not-sure-if-my-girlfriend-is-a-virgin.html
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Farewell from an aunt
Q. After being an aunt on this wonderful site for well over 5 years, I've decided to finally see the writing on the wall and call it quits. I truly gave it my best shot and spoke the truth as I know it to be. I will always treasure my time here and the ...
A. 20 June 2010: Thanks for all the good advice and effort you put into the site for 5 whole years! That is a long time of dedication :) ... (read in full...)
My husband treats me like a leper... please help me!
Q. Help! My husband has taken eveything out of my name so I'm 50 and dont own a thing, he hasnt touched me in 8 years, i have no bed to sleep in or car to drive he is a dr, and makes a lot of money, we live in a dump, we never have food, i have to ask ...
A. 20 June 2010: Contact your children for help. Also look up public services for help. I am sorry I can not help you more. Do you have your own doctor that treats your disease? Or just a doctor you go to? Could you explain him/her your situation and that you are ... (read in full...)
How can I fall in love with a man I've never met?
Q. I have fallen in love with a boy that I met online in Mid March. Never once have we chatted on msn...For the first 3 months of knowing one another was through emails, pages and pages worth of emails... Then we moved onto phone conversations. ...
A. 20 June 2010: It is fully possible to fall in love with a man you never met. Lots of people do. I've done it too. People who haven't experienced it find it hard to believe, but I know it is fully possible.
As for why he turned around 180? Did you and him have... (read in full...)
Does he like me for who I really am, or who he thinks I am?
Q. I'm more experienced than my boyfriend, and his ex girlfriend keeps bugging him and telling him I'm a whore, and I think she is trying to get him back, he wants to still be with me, and I don't know if he likes me for me or for what he has heard ...
A. 19 June 2010: You don't know him too well do you? How long have you been together? Get to know the guy better, that is all I can say. If you know him better you will see if he truly likes you or not. Don't get too emotionally involved until you can trust his ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend!
Q. I am a 21 year old female who is pretty independent. I constantly feel different from my peers, because I'm just not similar in certain personality aspects. Every female friend I have seems to be obsessed with men. I love men, I enjoy discussion and ...
A. 19 June 2010: You want someone down to earth? Don't try to meet them in a bar, that is all I can say. Find someone cute on a more daily basis. If you constantly meet the wrong type of guy, change your hunting field. Just a little tip for now. ... (read in full...)
Why have I started feeling uncomfortable around my cousin now that she's pregnant?
Q. i have a 16 year old cousin that is 8 months pregnant.we use to be really close but ever since i found out that she was sexually active (and doesn't plan on stopping any time soon),i feel so awkward and uncomfortable around her.why is that and how ...
A. 18 June 2010: Maybe you are uncomfortable because suddenly she is growing up while you don't feel adult yet. And adults have different social relations than children do. It could be you find the change from children playing, to being adults socializing, a ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend!
Q. I am a 21 year old female who is pretty independent. I constantly feel different from my peers, because I'm just not similar in certain personality aspects. Every female friend I have seems to be obsessed with men. I love men, I enjoy discussion and ...
A. 18 June 2010: You've gotten some great advice here!
As an experienced dater I can tell you that... Alright, Im not a know-it-all on this subject and Im not sure if anyone are. But you turn down a lot of frogs before you even dare to kiss them and see if they ... (read in full...)
I think losing my virginity ruined my life! Please help!
Q. i had sex for the first time, and i loved him and i thought he loved me, but i guess not he used me and its been about 7 months sence then. i wasnt ready but he talked me into it, i cry myself asleep because of him. and now i feel like a whore, and ...
A. 18 June 2010: How old was he? It is possible that you could report him to the police, as you never said yes to have sex with him. I don't want to scare you, but when a woman has not given consent, and the man still has sex with her, it is classified as rape.
... (read in full...)
I think losing my virginity ruined my life! Please help!
Q. i had sex for the first time, and i loved him and i thought he loved me, but i guess not he used me and its been about 7 months sence then. i wasnt ready but he talked me into it, i cry myself asleep because of him. and now i feel like a whore, and ...
A. 17 June 2010: Don't have sex again until you are ready. And don't have a boyfriend until you are ready either. Did you use protection? If not: get a morning after pill, or ask your doctor or school nurse about what you can do. And then have a pregnancy test.
... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
