| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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What can I do besides having sex with my boyfriend
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now and we makeout all the time, recently he tried to finger me and I stoped him. I am virgin and plan to stay one until I get married, but I just felt like fingering is losing your vigintiy. I want to ...
A. 16 November 2010: Don't be too naive either. Trust can easily be misused and given to the wrong person. Take your time to really get to know him before you trust him. ... (read in full...)
Is there anyone that sees what they believe are spirits within people like I do?
Q. I'm a 50 year-old man that's been diagnosed with mental illness. I don't know if I'm sick or what I have, if what I see and experience is real or what! I often see what I believe are spirits within people so I guess they're hallucinations. I tend ...
A. 15 November 2010: Hard to say without sounding too crazy myself. I believe in spirits just like I believe in God and ghosts and that humans have a soul. A soul is the spirit of a person, and angels in a sense are spirits too. Religion contains numerous stories of ... (read in full...)
Do I have to tell her I told my friend about her past?
Q. MY girlfriend told me a personal story of her in the very beginning stages of our relationship. It was very vague, but I could see how upset she was. She never went into too many specifics on it, but I could see the anguish it was on her. It was ...
A. 15 November 2010: You did something wrong. Whenever someone tells you something personal you should always RESPECT that it is personal, even if you don't see it as a big deal. And I still can't believe you defend yourself, saying it should be okay to talk to your ... (read in full...)
My parents found out he is married from a private detective, then I heard kids in the background on the phone! Do you think he is lying?
Q. ok i got involved with this guy, and my parents being bossy and overbearing hired a private detective to find out about him, i didnt know this, anyways they came to me and said all these things about him and then they said that they found out he was ...
A. 15 November 2010: This guy is bad news. Leave immedeately. He is married, whether it is only on the paper or not, he likely has children, what else is he not telling you? He doesn't sound like someone trustworthy at all. On top of it all he is verbally abusive and ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a teen to masturbate?
Q. im a teenage girl and this past year i have had relationship problems and feel like a part of me is missing without him. i started humping a towel rolled up and waiting until i got a good feeling. is that considered masterbaition? also, is it wrong ...
A. 15 November 2010: If you absolutely want to use vegetables or things that are not designed to be used for sexual play, put a CONDOM on it. That is the only safe way. I recommend you purchase a toy in a store instead, or use your fingers for starters. ... (read in full...)
What can I do besides having sex with my boyfriend
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now and we makeout all the time, recently he tried to finger me and I stoped him. I am virgin and plan to stay one until I get married, but I just felt like fingering is losing your vigintiy. I want to ...
A. 14 November 2010: Virginity is really about having intercourse with a man. However, it is a tricky subject, because even if a woman has never had intercourse, but everything else, I wouldn't really call her innocent or particularly virgin-like.
I think if you shou... (read in full...)
How normal are these sex acts for women?
Q. I am a relatively sexually inexperienced male in his late 30's ( I was married most of my 20's and 30's). I've done most things sexually, but only with one woman, and the other 3 or so women I had sex with were not long enough relationships to get ...
A. 14 November 2010: Its normal. People are different. But I know plenty of women who are open sexually, and personally I am just like this new woman of yours.
STOP comparing everything to what you've seen in porn. I don't get why men do that. Porn is porn, real lif... (read in full...)
I was molested as a kid, is that how I got cervical cancer?
Q. i have cervical cancer and don't know how i got it an i was just wondering if there was a way i got it by being sexually abused as a kid...
A. 14 November 2010: You need to ask your doctor how you could have gotten it. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a teen to masturbate?
Q. im a teenage girl and this past year i have had relationship problems and feel like a part of me is missing without him. i started humping a towel rolled up and waiting until i got a good feeling. is that considered masterbaition? also, is it wrong ...
A. 14 November 2010: *masturbate
And yes that is masturbation. No it is not wrong or harmful. You could goodle masturbation for women for tips and advice, or search the archives here on dearcupid about how to reach an orgasm. Many women have wondered the same thing, s... (read in full...)
My husband thinks I'm cheating because during sex I queef alot!
Q. hi i am having problems between me and my husband he thinks i am cheating which i aint but my vagina farts like just about every time we have sex i have been with him for four and half years and one partner before him but he had problems getting it ...
A. 14 November 2010: Why does he think you are cheating? Vaginal farts don't mean you are cheating? Whats the logic behind that?
I think you need to educate your husband on bodily functions and separate myth from fact here. He needs a wake-up call. Buy him a book on ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and my girlfriend wants to have sex, if we don't she'll dump me!
Q. I'm 13 and my girlfriend really wants to have sex. My best friend did it once and said it was a great experience. I'm breaking under peer pressure and need help. We've been going out for 10 months and I really like her. She said if I don't have sex ...
A. 14 November 2010: She can't ruin your life. Never give in to peer pressure. While sex can be wonderful, I think you will regret having your first time with her when you aren't doing it voluntarily. You should never have sex because someone pressures you into it, and ... (read in full...)
Understanding the logic behind female's thoughts.
Q. hey there. im just very curious to understand the logic behind female thoughts. this woman who i see all the time cause we live very near had a crush on me for months. we only ever said hi. i finnaly asked her out and thats when i found out she was ...
A. 14 November 2010: Im sorry, I don't really think you will get a second chance, and if you actually do you need to stop getting drunk and listening to whatever your friends tell you. If you have a date with her respect her time and man up and show up. Like Jmtmj said, ... (read in full...)
What kind of guy do girls want?
Q. Girls, Would you rather a man who would fight for you or would you rather a skinny twig or a man with muscles (not overboard but enough you can feel them when he hugs you)?...
A. 14 November 2010: One thing first: personality over-rules looks.
Even a skinny twig can fight for you, and a man with muscles can be self-centered and let you sit and rot. So, personality goes over looks every day.
But, aside from personality, looks matter. An... (read in full...)
Girl thinks I'm a disgrace for being a 19 yr old virgin
Q. hello there i'm a 19 yo male,virgin i've met a girl 1 year ago, a collegue, i like her a lot but she likes my best friend every time i go out with her she's okay, is having fun ... doesnt seem like she's disturbed by my presence but when i go...
A. 14 November 2010: Be patient with her ignorance. She needs to learn to value people herself, it is not something you can teach her. Other than you can tell her that it is not disgraceful, and that she should respect people that are different from her.
But in eithe... (read in full...)
Florida isn't in the Midwest!
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years. This weekend, I found out on the internet that my lover is attending a conference in Florida. He works in the midwest and during a phone conversation, he told me the conference was in the ...
A. 13 November 2010: I still wouldn't call that snooping. And two wrongs doesn't make one right in either case, he lied he lied he lied, and snooping or no snooping make no difference. ... (read in full...)
Florida isn't in the Midwest!
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years. This weekend, I found out on the internet that my lover is attending a conference in Florida. He works in the midwest and during a phone conversation, he told me the conference was in the ...
A. 13 November 2010: One lie here and one lie there, I wouldn't trust him either, and you have had many arguments over this before. Why do you think he is lying, and could this perhaps be a deal breaker? Trust is so important in a relationship, and while you should ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time understanding.
Q. Hi all, I'm in desperate need of advice. I am an asian girl, 5 8, skinny and fit. I have been told I am pretty, sexy, hot many times by many of my friends, heard that guys have said this about my through word of mouth. I even tried online dat...
A. 13 November 2010: The clear answer here is that the guys your age at college are looking for a different style of woman, and you don't fit into what they are attracted to. That doesn't mean you are not attractive, as you already know you definitely are. You're just ... (read in full...)
Gf forcing me to get maried and have kids but I don't want to go too fast
Q. I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past 5 years and so and we have never had sex.now my girlfriend says she wants to have sex as all her friends have already done it more than once.i said that she might get accidentally pregnant .so ...
A. 13 November 2010: How about a compromise? Getting engaged, and setting a date a few years from now. Within that time you get to earn more money, and even she will understand the importance of money when establishing a family. Compromise and communicate. You do want ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my feelings and risk ruining a good thing? Or should I stick with "if you love someone let them go"?
Q. I have recentley reconnected with an old flame. The last time we saw each other we were intimate but I was in a relationship at the time, so we never kept in touch. It is now 10 years later and last week we disovered that we live down the road fr...
A. 12 November 2010: How old are you? The status says 18-21, but that can't be correct if you were intimate over 10 years ago.
I think you should tell him how you feel as well. And stay away from the "friends with benefits"! You clearly like this guy on a more ser... (read in full...)
Do some men just have some kind of attraction around them or something?
Q. Do some guys just have the mojo? like austin powers? My question is for the women out there, do some men just have some kind of attraction around them or something. Something that just makes a women want to have sex with them? If a guy was to hav...
A. 12 November 2010: There's no mojo, haha! What does exist is charm. Charm is a way you act, behave, talk, move, look at people a certain way. Charm makes women drop like flies. A charming man, if he is physically attractive as well, can have about any woman he wants. ... (read in full...)
I told my best friend what her husband had said, and now her husband and my boyfriend have turned against me!
Q. Drama! Drama! Drama! My boyfriend, my best friend and her husband and i aré really cool.. We text or call each other all the time.. Well my boyfriend and her husband were friends before they met us and she and i were friends before we met them... ...
A. 12 November 2010: Yes, what you did was wrong. It was a secret. Well, not a secret as such, but the fact that he ranted to you and your boyfriend should have been a secret. Your best friend (the wife here) probably already knows what her husband thinks, or yes, they ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he is too nice!
Q. I'm having trouble with this new guy i'm going to meet up with. I got this number off a networking site and we've been texting each other for a few weeks. We are now planning to meet up soon but the thing he is a nice guy. I know that any girl wou...
A. 12 November 2010: Don't judge the book on the cover. I've met a lot of seemingly nice guys, who after 6 months turned into their "true" form, of being not so nice guys.
People are different though, this man will never be just like your ex, because he is a totally ... (read in full...)
Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 12 November 2010: Some parts of this I can relate to as I had the same thing happening in my past LDR. He wouldn't have time for me, it could take him days so reply to my messages, and he would often be too busy for me. Even though I had far more responsibilities ... (read in full...)
Can people be in an exclusive online relationship?
Q. Can people be in an exclusively online relationship? How does that work out?...
A. 11 November 2010: Yes. It works out just like a long distance relationship. ... (read in full...)
Fat fetish-help!
Q. I am having big problems about my fat fetish. I am a gay male who fairly round and I don't want to get any bigger. Truth is, I have a fetish for fat men; curves, love handles and everything else. My fetish has often led me to put on weight as I find ...
A. 11 November 2010: Are you physically attracted to yourself/turn yourself on? Most people aren't attracted to themselves and want a partner that they are attracted to. You need to separate what is good for YOU, and what you find ATTRACTIVE. They are two different ... (read in full...)
I don't have the money to lend him!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been togethere 4 a yr we r verry happy together and we r very open with each other its really nice. well at the moment my boyfriend is in a big financial crisis hes on the brink of loosing evrything he ever built and its a ...
A. 11 November 2010: It's okay that you don't have money to lend him, and he shouldn't expect you to help him out financially either. I think you are feeling helpless, because you want to help, and you think if only you had the money you could lift the burdens off of ... (read in full...)
How obvious do I have to be with these signals?
Q. How obvious do I have to make myself before he realises the signs im sending him. I really like him! Here we go again ... I like this guy in the year above me and we don't actually talk at all. We used to but we drifted apart because none of ...
A. 11 November 2010: Its hard to tell if he likes you or not. The old classic way was to have a friend ask the boy you like if they like you back. If you think thats an option you could have a friend of yours check it out. Maybe someone can get his msn for you, and you ... (read in full...)
Did I start my pill on the wrong day?
Q. So I started birth control(for medical reasons, don't worry I'm not having sex) but I think I started at the wrong time and I'm worried. What happened is I started the Sunday of my period, which was also the first day, but the next day I wasn't ...
A. 11 November 2010: The pill is a tricky thing, there are so many questions and so many scenarios, I know a lot about the pill because I've been asking around myself. There's no silly questions! If you've never taken it before how would you know what to expect, it's ... (read in full...)
What else can I say other than I'm frustrated?
Q. My "guy friend" says that I need to use more words when we are "playing" around. All I can say is I'm frustrated when he is teasing me. He is a very vocal person and wishes that I would be to when we are "playing". He makes me lose my mind I cant ...
A. 11 November 2010: Tell him what you have told us? You are not that type of person and being more vocal doesn't come naturally to you, and if he keeps pushing it you will get put off by it? That it bothers you when he asks for you to be more vocal and you don't want ... (read in full...)
It feels like 'his' house rather than a home....
Q. Hi there, I think this site is wonderful, it has helped me so much being able to share my problems and getting feedback. I was wondering if anyone else shared this problem. I live with my partner in his house. Up until I moved in with him, I ...
A. 11 November 2010: Well, do you pay rent? I think it is only fair that you get to have a say in what furniture etc you should have, as you live there as well, provided you pay for it with your own money if he doesn't like to spend money on those things. But you are ... (read in full...)
Why does a girl become special only after a guy cheated on her?
Q. After a guy cheats on girl, why does she all of a sudden the love of his life? He starts saying things like: -Your the beautiful girl i wouldnt trade you for anything -I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you -You mean so much to m...
A. 11 November 2010: Oh, and what usually happens is that the guy continues cheating, and if the girl has been brainwashed for long enough she turns a blind eye and gets told she can't find anyone better, so she doesn't even attempt to leave, and in the end have no self ... (read in full...)
Why does a girl become special only after a guy cheated on her?
Q. After a guy cheats on girl, why does she all of a sudden the love of his life? He starts saying things like: -Your the beautiful girl i wouldnt trade you for anything -I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you -You mean so much to m...
A. 11 November 2010: My guess is that words are cheap and he only says it to make the girl stay because he knows if he doesn't suck up to her she will leave him because he is a cheater... It's all games. If she was that special he'd never cheat to begin with.
It's ... (read in full...)
I still suck my thumb!
Q. I'm 19. It's pathetic but I still suck my thumb...a lot. The only time I won't is when my boyfriend helps me sleep, tells me stories or sings. But, when I feel too embarassed to ask or he's too tired and goes to sleep first, I do it and I get ...
A. 11 November 2010: You can't make yourself stop it by pure willpower? I think willpower is what will ultimately help you loose this habit.
Something that could help you on the way though could be to not wash your hands. Then they are filled with bacteria and you ... (read in full...)
Lost my job, I have no money and christmas is coming up!
Q. Hey guys! i really need your help. me and my boyfriend are both 18 and i lost my job and im needing to get my boyfriend something for christmas and i have no money whatsoever. i have no clue what to do. i cant think of anything. help?...
A. 11 November 2010: Its the thought that counts. Most men love food, perhaps you can bake him some cookies for christmas, or cook him a nice meal? Or just write a nice letter for Christmas, or make a Christmas-card for him.
Christmas is not about gifts and money. I... (read in full...)
Did I start my pill on the wrong day?
Q. So I started birth control(for medical reasons, don't worry I'm not having sex) but I think I started at the wrong time and I'm worried. What happened is I started the Sunday of my period, which was also the first day, but the next day I wasn't ...
A. 11 November 2010: Nothing happens no matter what day you start on. The pill is designed to work so you wont get pregnant, and if you take the pill on the first day of your period (which you did correctly) the bleeding automatically stops and you are protected from ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 11 November 2010: Not even to your parents!
I have lent out about 14000 dollars to my mother. I am not so certain I will get it returned. She last borrowed about 1600 dollars that was supposed to be returned over 2 years ago. I was promised I'd get 800 dollars ... (read in full...)
He's leaving in a week, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. Not sure what to do here. I'm usually pretty assertive when it comes to guys and people I like in general. I've recently gone through a rough episode with someone I dated for a few months and wasn't interested in anyone at all and then I ran into...
A. 11 November 2010: You could leave him a subtle hint. Tell him "I enjoy spending time with you, and think it's a shame you are leaving. I will miss you. Do you think we could hang out more when you come back?"
That should tell him everything without being too much... (read in full...)
Are his reactions normal?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are a couple for more than a year now, both virgins and decided to take things slow. However, we cuddle a lot, make out, fool around with clothes on, getting to know each other's body... Yesterday we were at his place and whil...
A. 11 November 2010: It sounds like maybe he came? Does all sound normal to me though. ... (read in full...)
I decided to go all the way with him when my parents told me we're moving across country!
Q. Hi I'm 14 now and I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend and met in December and started having a "thing" by February, in April we started dating. At first we decided on no oral sex or actual sex because he's almost 2 years older than me and is'nt a ...
A. 11 November 2010: You should have waited. But no use in crying for spilled milk now. You and him will have a rough time ahead of you, and instead of pulling away, which would have probably been the best thing for both of you, you tried to get closer.
You are stil... (read in full...)
Is this an invitation or a come-on?
Q. Why does it mean if a 24yro woman, gets out of the shower then walks out to a window in her towel then looking back at you Would that be a invitation or something? Or a come-on? Something like this happened to me and I'm just curious what...
A. 11 November 2010: Does it happen often? In that case I guess it could be a weird way of showing off, or teasing. Perhaps she wants contact. But, if it just happened once or twice it might be coincidence. Are you sure she was looking at you, because if she was far ... (read in full...)
Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 11 November 2010: If you do want to end the relationship I suggest you do it before she comes to visit you. If the purpose for her visit is to go see you then there is no need for her to travel to see you if you only want to end the relationship. It is best to break ... (read in full...)
Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 11 November 2010: If you don't want this relationship then you are free to end it as you wish. But I can't see clearly from what you have written what the problem is? It sounds to me like miscommunication, if she thinks you never have time for her, and you think she ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 7 November 2010: ILoveCupid. I know it is hard to say no the first time a person asks for money. But you have to stick to saying no. The truth is, they should NOT be asking money from you in the first place. If they can't get by with what they have, then they need ... (read in full...)
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