| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 12 November 2010: Some parts of this I can relate to as I had the same thing happening in my past LDR. He wouldn't have time for me, it could take him days so reply to my messages, and he would often be too busy for me. Even though I had far more responsibilities ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 11 November 2010: Not even to your parents!
I have lent out about 14000 dollars to my mother. I am not so certain I will get it returned. She last borrowed about 1600 dollars that was supposed to be returned over 2 years ago. I was promised I'd get 800 dollars ... (read in full...)
Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 11 November 2010: If you do want to end the relationship I suggest you do it before she comes to visit you. If the purpose for her visit is to go see you then there is no need for her to travel to see you if you only want to end the relationship. It is best to break ... (read in full...)
Should I end this LDR when she comes to see me in two weeks because of her lack of respect for me?
Q. Okay, I'm a long distance relationship here... we been going out for 8 months but in august she want to college to another city. sometimes she comes to visit but we do have problems. For example, we argue, and she some times disrespects me as thou ...
A. 11 November 2010: If you don't want this relationship then you are free to end it as you wish. But I can't see clearly from what you have written what the problem is? It sounds to me like miscommunication, if she thinks you never have time for her, and you think she ... (read in full...)
Ladies, is therea way to shave down there that isn't equivalent to self-torture?
Q. I prefer the look and feel of having no hair down there. Multiple times in the past I’ve attempted to shave, but I’ve never been able to keep it up for more than three days. It’s just so uncomfortable. For the first day it feels fine, but within 24 ...
A. 10 November 2010: I don't think there is an easy way. It's more or less the same for all women. Thats why most of us don't bother to stay smooth down there, too much of a bother.
All advice I can give is shave in the same direction as the hairs, never in the oppo... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for my worries due to his hair colour?
Q. i have a problem, a man reaaly likes me and would do anything for me but because he is ginger im scared what people will say! what do i do?...
A. 10 November 2010: "When i read this post i did get pretty angry about it because it really upsets me that somebody can be so cruel and shallow when this guy is obviously worth more than that. He's a good guy so what's the colour of his hair got to do with ... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt because I am circumsized?
Q. Im a circumsized male (was circumsized since birth for medical reasons) and am wondering will sex hurt with/without a condom (I dont intend on having kids any time soon though, so mainly with a condom), I know unless lube is used I wont be able to ...
A. 10 November 2010: The pleasure part comes from when the skin covers the rim, it is unnecessary (although probably pleasurable) to cover the head entirely. Have you tried masturbating, and how is it working for you?... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for my worries due to his hair colour?
Q. i have a problem, a man reaaly likes me and would do anything for me but because he is ginger im scared what people will say! what do i do?...
A. 10 November 2010: What would people say? What would you say?... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt because I am circumsized?
Q. Im a circumsized male (was circumsized since birth for medical reasons) and am wondering will sex hurt with/without a condom (I dont intend on having kids any time soon though, so mainly with a condom), I know unless lube is used I wont be able to ...
A. 10 November 2010: It is common in the USA to circumcise baby boys. They all have sex just fine. Some men are partially circumcised, meaning not all the foreskin is removed. In those cases it is possible to do handjobs even without lube. In the case where there is no ... (read in full...)
Does my dream relate to my relationship?
Q. Ok so I know this is about my dreams clearly but does it relate to my relationship? and how? I woke up this morning and I just felt real mad and sad because of my dream. I dreamt that I was with my bf (who just so u know is this guy I am in love...
A. 10 November 2010: The only thing I can make out clearly from your dreams is that you are a jealous person and you are scared your boyfriend is cheating on you, and I suspect because he lives so far away you are angry that you can not be there to watch over him and ... (read in full...)
My heart wants to stay with him, my head doesn't know...
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago. we'd been together 10 months and it had been quite a rocky relationship, very intense, moved very fast and although the good times were amazing, the bad times were too difficult. he suffered from retrograde ...
A. 9 November 2010: Yes, it is very unhealthy to still act like you are in a relationship when you aren't in a relationship. And perhaps knowing he doesn't fully have you, he might stay on his toes for a while and be on his best behaviour, hoping you come back for ... (read in full...)
How to enforce a legal matter filed in USA in the Netherlands? Child Support
Q. How can I enforce a legal matter filled in USA in the Netherlands? Child Support Matter? My boyfriend and I (EX Boyfriend NOW) were having a relationship for more than 10 months. I am from Miami and he is currently here in a J1 Visa, what it me...
A. 9 November 2010: After familiarizing yourself with your country's laws on this matter, you could also call the dutch embassy. But they won't be able to help much there, unless you know there's nowhere else to call. You might have to make an international call or two ... (read in full...)
How to enforce a legal matter filed in USA in the Netherlands? Child Support
Q. How can I enforce a legal matter filled in USA in the Netherlands? Child Support Matter? My boyfriend and I (EX Boyfriend NOW) were having a relationship for more than 10 months. I am from Miami and he is currently here in a J1 Visa, what it me...
A. 9 November 2010: Call a lawyer near you and ask for how you should proceed. Before a consultation inform them what the matter is about and ask for a price for the service in advance, so you know if you can afford the legal help or not (or at least be prepared for ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait until I let him get under the shirt? I want him to respect me!
Q. Im new to dating - been seeing this guy for a bit over a month (we met online, im 21 hes 22). Im a virgin and am waiting to be in love, and also generally inexperienced with intimacy. on our fourth date we had our first kiss and make out session; ...
A. 9 November 2010: You should definitely wait until you feel ok with it, and depending on your goals as far as the relationship go.
If you want a casual hook-up: let him feel you up all you want.
If you want a serious relationship: wait until you are EXCLUSIV... (read in full...)
Girlfriend said she was pregnant but she lied
Q. My gf is giving me hrt attack, she said she is pregnant just bcos the condom broke when we were havin sex. But after 3 weeks i found out she was lieyin. What should i do? Is it a sign that she wants to break up? And should i leave her ...
A. 9 November 2010: Alright, if that was a joke then she has a bad sense of humour. It is up to you if you want to stay with her or not, but that is a perfectly good reason to break up with her. Some things you just don't joke about, it was really not good of her.
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend said she was pregnant but she lied
Q. My gf is giving me hrt attack, she said she is pregnant just bcos the condom broke when we were havin sex. But after 3 weeks i found out she was lieyin. What should i do? Is it a sign that she wants to break up? And should i leave her ...
A. 9 November 2010: Are you sure she lied and that she wasn't just scared she could be pregnant? It takes a while to be able to test if you are pregnant or not. How long from the point where the condom broke and until you figured out she wasn't pregnant? How did you ... (read in full...)
How do I get him out of my head once and for all?
Q. Am writing this post to ask for advice/help. I feel like theres so much going on in my life I don't even know what to-do. I was with a guy for a year and a half roughly. The relationship was fantastic at the start then everything went downhill...
A. 9 November 2010: You have learned your lesson. Guys don't change like that. They will tell you they have changed, but action speaks louder than words, and he never showed you any actual change, did he? Even so, you are hurt and need time to heel. And things would ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend so much, but she has broken up with me and won't let me help her with her depression!
Q. okay so me and my girlfreind have been on and off now for 2 years, she is the love of my life i care for her so so much. the reason we have been on and off is because she suffers with depression and when she gets it she thinks it is in both our ...
A. 8 November 2010: I want to ask, how do you think you can help her? In what way do you want her to let you in her life? Why should you be with her?
Everyone tells you to stay away, but you should never listen to what others tell you. If you love her, and she make... (read in full...)
I'm so ticklish it interferes with intimacy
Q. I'm in my late teens and have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years now. We have been friends since childhood and so are pretty close, and are very comfortable just cuddling and watching a film, playing computer games, going to ...
A. 8 November 2010: In my experience, if you get ticklish it's because you don't like the touch and it's uncomfortable. This could be because you deep down don't want him to touch you. It could be nothing personal against him, but that you aren't ready. Or, it's just ... (read in full...)
She's had sex with her friend before, now he wants to meet her to "catch up" and this bothers me. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. All is grand. She used to have a best friend, a guy, who she maintains she was very close too. One night, they had sex, she insists it was a mistake, 'a complete one off' and tha...
A. 8 November 2010: I don't think you should feel worried unless she has shown you any suspicious behaviour during your relationship. If it was a one time thing it was a one time thing, and if they wanted more, surely they had every opportunity to hook up again before ... (read in full...)
I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.
Q. I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...
A. 8 November 2010: You already know what you need to do:
"I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing."- do something about it, actually go out and defy the awkwardness. Socialize at your weirdest, and get embarrassed, but at least... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 7 November 2010: ILoveCupid. I know it is hard to say no the first time a person asks for money. But you have to stick to saying no. The truth is, they should NOT be asking money from you in the first place. If they can't get by with what they have, then they need ... (read in full...)
My friend lied about how far she went with her boyfriend, should I talk to her about it?
Q. Hi. I found out recently that my friend lied about how far she'd been with her ex-boyfriend. We were at a sleepover and she told all of us that he'd fingered her and she'd given him a blow job. Im friends with her ex-boyfriend and i had a feeling ...
A. 5 November 2010: I think she's telling the truth. I mean think about it, of course the guy would deny it. You might be friends, but you and him don't have sleepovers. If he'd tell anyone it wouldn't be another girl, it would be his guy friends.
Why not just tru... (read in full...)
Can you be celibate when you have already lost your virginity?
Q. can you be celibate when you have already lost your virginity?...
A. 4 November 2010: I think you definitely can. Staying celibate is about abstaining from sex, something I think is more difficult to do if you have once experienced it, than it is for someone who has never done it.
A typical idea is for nuns to live in celibacy... (read in full...)
He can't go one day without wanting sex from me, is my boyfriend of one year using me?
Q. my boyfriend always talks about sex and always wants it.. we cant even be alone without having sex for a day! we have been together for a little over a year. is he just with me for sex? i asked him and he said no and gave me reasons why he is not... ...
A. 4 November 2010: I don't think he is using you for sex. If he only wanted sex he wouldn't be in a relationship with you, and certainly not for over a year. How is the rest of your relationship? Is it good?
I think this is just a matter of different sex drives. ... (read in full...)
Why did a good girl allow sex so easily?
Q. I met this lovely 20 year old girl through her sister, a co-worker. I took her out to the movies just once, and then did not see her for a month. We kept in touch. When we met again we went to a secluded place where we talked about her dreams...
A. 4 November 2010: If you felt it was too soon, why did you sleep with her? She was obviously horny, just like yourself, and attracted to you. She probably thinks you are a good guy as well, and that it would be okay because you respect her and have feelings for her, ... (read in full...)
Will I ever love again?
Q. I dated a guy for six years. He was my first real relationship, I guess you could say my first love. We got engaged and had plans to get marriied. After we got engaged we started having a lot of problems. I loved him and he loved me though he wasnt...
A. 4 November 2010: It is not true that you only fall in love once. I don't know who told you that. Your heart needs time to heal. That is why you are numb, you are not yet ready to fall in love again. Once you are ready, and find the right man, it will happen again. ... (read in full...)
Good age to get married?
Q. what age would be a good age to get married?...
A. 4 November 2010: 25+ I think. Or after you have finished your education. ... (read in full...)
He called me fat!!!!
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been going out for a really long time now, he tells me he loves me, he's always there for me and we both feel that we're practically perfect for each other, we've been friends ever since we were 4 years old but as years ...
A. 4 November 2010: I have a question, did he actually say "you are fat"? Or did he say you are the largest person? And by that, what do you think yourself? Are you the largest person in that group? Did you feel it was hurtful, or just being honest. It is never good to ... (read in full...)
When you go out with someone, do you have to have sex?
Q. I know, the question sounds silly. I was just wondering, when you 'get together' with someone does it always have to get physical? I don't mind kissing and stuff but it seems that there's a lot of pressure for teenagers to have sex as soon as...
A. 4 November 2010: No, you do not have to have sex while in a relationship, and it is not expected of young teens to have sex either. There is actually laws that forbid teenagers to have sex. Once you are an adult however is is typically expected, but it is perfectly ... (read in full...)
How can I make him see that being together again is the right choice?
Q. I'm 18 and my ex is 19. We dated for a year and three months and our relationship was near perfect. We fought a few times, just as any two people in a relationship would. We said that we loved each other for almost the whole time, and with time we ...
A. 4 November 2010: Tell us first, why is being with you the right choice? How can you convince him if you don't have any other reason to be with him than "I love you after all"? You need to figure out exactly why you want to be with him, and not play games like "maybe ... (read in full...)
Can dry humping cause you to lose your virginity?
Q. Hi everyone... I was just wondering... My boyfriend and I were dry humping often (we're both not ready for sex) then yesterday, after dry humping, I notice two tiny spots of blood (I'm not that sure if that was blood but it really looks like blood) ...
A. 3 November 2010: No. You do not loose your virginity through dry humping. Read up on sexuality. The only way to loose your virginity is to have intercourse. Dry humping is not intercourse. ... (read in full...)
Is he missing something in his marriage or just bored?
Q. Why would a married man seek attention outside of his home. He has beautiful children, gorgeous wife and great career. However i believe he is trying to pursue a relationship with me by calling me and texting men all of the time. He does not live ...
A. 3 November 2010: Some people just find it hard to remain monogamous and like to get whatever they can have. It's like one piece of cake isn't enough for them and temptation too hard to resist. He doesn't miss anything, and he isn't bored. He just lacks the ability ... (read in full...)
I find it tough to find attractive women who fancy me! Should I lower my standards??
Q. Hi guys can you help? I'm 32 (embarrassed that a guy my age is even on here) and feel I'm getting on now and need to find a decent girlfriend. I’ve been single for 2/3 years now but to be honest girlfriends have always been hard to find. (before ...
A. 3 November 2010: I think you need to factor in that if you hit on a girl in the supermarket, yes it will come of as you are hitting on her, but that is the point. If she finds you attractive she will reply with something back, and smile or laugh, no matter how silly ... (read in full...)
I snooped through my husband's phone and now he is distant!
Q. A fleeting moment of insecurity had me snoop through my husband's phone while he was in the shower. Now he is distant. What's my next move? I'm 95% of the time very confident but I get these fleeting moments of insecurity from time to time. I ...
A. 3 November 2010: If he knows this just happens from time to time with you I don't think it should be caused a great fuss about. A couple of days in the doghouse is punishment well enough, and once the days are up you should go back to being normal and happy ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much? He barely touches me and wont consider oral because of a bad experience with his ex!
Q. Hello, Well I'm 20 years old and i have been with my boyfriend for little under a year, i love him so much and i know he dose me but he never goes down on me and hardly touches me down their. It has gotten to the point that i like being on my peri...
A. 3 November 2010: I have no solution to you other than leaving him. He sounds incredibly selfish and ignorant. Yeah, his exes were pleased by him never touching them? Well you're not his ex! How stupid of a comment is that.
But, when you got out of the shower, ... (read in full...)
I'm only going out with her because I don't want to be alone, but she is already talking about marriage!
Q. Ok I'm 19 years old and 4 months ago i started dating one of my good friends and she makes me happy but she thinks I'm her future. Like were going to get married right out of college, and that is scaring me. She is a good friend and I hate ...
A. 3 November 2010: Do you want to break up with her, or continue seeing her?
If you continue to see her you need to let her know that you are nowhere ready to talk about marriage and future yet. You should also tell her your aims for dating her... although it comes... (read in full...)
I know I am not gay and would never even kiss a guy, but why do I get turned on by gay porn?
Q. i'm straight and in a relationship, i've been with many girls, i'm really attracted to them and lesbians, i often find im turned on by girls i shouldnt been like my ex's sisters and stuff. anyway my question is, i like to watch gay porn and get ...
A. 3 November 2010: The answer is actually quite simple and I would not suggest you seek professional help unless you think this will be helpful to you, or you want to change something.
As it is you have a healthy relationship to your own sexuality. You know what you... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this relationship? I am a saver, he is a spender and it is just not working!
Q. my boyfriend of several years is upset im not buying him a house, car, and lavish gifts. I make much more money than he does, and its a sore spot. Im a saver, he is a spender. He has had several flighs over the years and refuses couciling, stating ...
A. 3 November 2010: I think you should leave as well and be very careful about your money. Make the necessary preparations before you leave him so that you and your belongings are safe.
He wants to exploit you. ... (read in full...)
What to do about my feelings/dreams?
Q. My dad just remarried not to long ago to a woman who has 3 kids. I am an only child. Her oldest is a year younger than me. I haven't gotten to know them a great deal but I'm cool being around them. Anyways I had a dream about the oldest and i...
A. 3 November 2010: Are you sure you have feelings for this boy, or do you just think you must have since you had that dream?
Your mind doesn't work like that. You dreamt of sex with him because your subconsciousness has found that he is a new male role model in... (read in full...)
For the girls: Would you dump your boyfriend if you found out he was a 25 year old virgin?
Q. This question mainly applies to women but I was wondering if you would dump your boyfriend if he told you one day that he was a virgin and that he was over the age of 25 (I'm 23 but considering the worst case scenario for me). I could have lost it ...
A. 3 November 2010: As for the "telling after you've slept together", I would dump you then if you had the nerve to lie to me. Not only shows it disrespect, but also disloyalty and distrust. Like you had used me only for sex. I'd kick you to the curb if you lied to me ... (read in full...)
For the girls: Would you dump your boyfriend if you found out he was a 25 year old virgin?
Q. This question mainly applies to women but I was wondering if you would dump your boyfriend if he told you one day that he was a virgin and that he was over the age of 25 (I'm 23 but considering the worst case scenario for me). I could have lost it ...
A. 3 November 2010: I I cared about the guy and liked him it wouldn't bother me too much. It just means I wouldn't jump to bed with him right away as he (you) wanted it to be with someone special, and I'd be afraid he would regret it if he had sex with me. So I'd take ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with what I thought was a girl...but she's a he
Q. Help. I fell in love over the internet with someone, and they feel absolutely the same thing. They were saying over the past few days that they were insecure about something, and they've been summoning up enough courage to mention it. Finally, the...
A. 2 November 2010: Well, are you bisexual or homosexual?
If you are a girl (as says your profile) and are homosexual, let it go. You fell for what you thought was a girl. You love the personality, but you KNOW you don't like men. So it's time to call it quits an... (read in full...)
Very small penis, now I don't fancy him!
Q. I'm in a bit of a cuffuffle. I started talking to a lovely guy a few weeks ago, we have been on 3 dates and I stayed at his house last night. I'm 21 he's 31. We ended up getting naked and feeling each other. I noticed that when his penis is e...
A. 2 November 2010: Actually, if you're as blunt as me, a great way to solve to problem is to just ask what his penis size is. I sometimes ask men how large they are, before ever going to bed with them. That way you could decide whether it's worth it or not haha.
... (read in full...)
Very small penis, now I don't fancy him!
Q. I'm in a bit of a cuffuffle. I started talking to a lovely guy a few weeks ago, we have been on 3 dates and I stayed at his house last night. I'm 21 he's 31. We ended up getting naked and feeling each other. I noticed that when his penis is e...
A. 2 November 2010: I really think people should stop condescending. It's rather pathetic. Yes, sex is important. To those of you who think it's not, fine, it's not so important to YOU. For most of us living beings however, sex is important. Sexual satisfaction is ... (read in full...)
Very small penis, now I don't fancy him!
Q. I'm in a bit of a cuffuffle. I started talking to a lovely guy a few weeks ago, we have been on 3 dates and I stayed at his house last night. I'm 21 he's 31. We ended up getting naked and feeling each other. I noticed that when his penis is e...
A. 2 November 2010: It's not shallow and its really not about looks. It's about sexual compatibility. That matters just as much as personal compatibility. ... (read in full...)
Very small penis, now I don't fancy him!
Q. I'm in a bit of a cuffuffle. I started talking to a lovely guy a few weeks ago, we have been on 3 dates and I stayed at his house last night. I'm 21 he's 31. We ended up getting naked and feeling each other. I noticed that when his penis is e...
A. 2 November 2010: I agree you shouldn't tell him its because of his penis or lack of skills in bed. But I also agree this is a huge turnoff and you definitely should not be with him. Maybe try calling him or meeting up with him to break it off. Its better to do it in ... (read in full...)
I find it tough to find attractive women who fancy me! Should I lower my standards??
Q. Hi guys can you help? I'm 32 (embarrassed that a guy my age is even on here) and feel I'm getting on now and need to find a decent girlfriend. I’ve been single for 2/3 years now but to be honest girlfriends have always been hard to find. (before ...
A. 2 November 2010: It all depends on what kind of catch you are yourself. If you lower your standards you will end up with someone who has also lowered their standards. Which means you aren't excatly the best catch yourself.
Im not into the whole "only beautyfu... (read in full...)
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