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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Neighbour cheated on fiancee with me.
Q. Well i guess the title has got you all wondering what is going on. well ive been in some sticky situations before but non like this. if you have time please listen to my story and i ask for your best advice as soon as possible. well my nex...
A. 22 November 2010: If you keep attracting the wrong kind of man you might be in need of a change in yourself. Maybe you do send out the wrong signal, maybe you accept too much from men, maybe you have high standards when it comes to appearances, I don't know. Or maybe ... (read in full...)
Should I pretend I'm not a virgin?
Q. im 20, almost 21 and still a virgin. I recently dated my first real boyfriend. When i told him i was a virgin, he started treating me like a little kid. he was also a pig and would have totally held it above me, sorta notch on his belt idea. What ...
A. 22 November 2010: I think in either case it's always best to be honest. If you want someone to like you for who you are, lying is never the answer. Wouldn't you rather meet a man who respects that you are a virgin and doesn't act as badly as your ex (and his friends ... (read in full...)
Neighbour cheated on fiancee with me.
Q. Well i guess the title has got you all wondering what is going on. well ive been in some sticky situations before but non like this. if you have time please listen to my story and i ask for your best advice as soon as possible. well my nex...
A. 22 November 2010: Oh my god. You are so naive. Im sorry, but you need to hear it.
You know he likes you back but he's only scared of leaving his fiance? So in other words: he's a cheating coward!
What a GREAT man you have fallen in love with! Absolutely amazi... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to ask to be exclusive?
Q. I have been dating someone for over 2 months now and things are relatively well. He asked for us to get tested for stds because he wants to go off condoms. Is it ok for me to ask for us to be dating exclusively?? I do not not know if he's dating ...
A. 22 November 2010: Ok? Of course it's ok! Why wouldn't it. Its actually something expected. If he wants to go off condoms the least he can do is be exclusive!
Why would it not be ok? Do you want to be in a relationship with him, or do you just want the sex? I t... (read in full...)
We have totally different views on lying, who is right?
Q. How do I deal with this??? Me and my girlfriend are in mad love, and could probably make it if there weren't these issues. One is that we both have very different views on lying. I view lying as not very glamorous but a part of life, it...
A. 22 November 2010: Is not really in need of clinical help or toxic, I'd say thats an overstatement. His girlfriend is insecure and a bit on the jealous side. So she checked his history, and he smokes pot, none of them are any better than the other and neither should ... (read in full...)
I want to be a porn star does anyone have any advice regarding this matter?
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old make and I would like to be a male porn star. Does anyone have any advice regarding this matter? ...
A. 22 November 2010: You're not cut out to be a porn star, you're just a horny teenage boy!
Stop thinking with your little head and start thinking with your brains. If you want a hot girlfriend get an education, find a good job, be a nice person, and then you will be ... (read in full...)
What do I do with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, ive been goin out with my boyfriend for almost 3 months now. I know it's not long compared to other relationships, but its the longest relationship ive been in. Im good friends with some of his friends, so i would be afraid if i dumped him i wud ...
A. 22 November 2010: You need to decide on what you want and what is good for you. You can't be inbetween "I love him" and "I dont have feelings for him". Figure out your feelings. It's not both, it can't be, because love is a strong feeling, and if you are this unsure ... (read in full...)
How much added protection does the pulling out method provide?
Q. How much added protection does pulling out really provide? I went on the pill so we didn't have to bother with condoms anymore, but he insists on pulling out on top of that. Does that really help? It seems so unecessary to me. It's not very romantic ...
A. 22 November 2010: It provides a psychological reassurance basically. I doubt it will be possible to predict by percentage how much "protection" it gives, because look at the facts: Getting pregnant in the first place even if a couple is trying to get pregnant can in ... (read in full...)
Stopping and starting the pill
Q. I have stopped seeing my boyfriend and not looking to start another relationship anytime soon, if I stop taking the pill can I then go back on it again after weeks/months/years to protect myself again??...
A. 22 November 2010: Yes. It works as the first time you start on the pill. Follow the instructions that come with the pills. You can stop and start at any time, but your cycle can get messed up for a few months as a result. ... (read in full...)
He's the one I want to marry even though I am young
Q. I am sixteen years old, and I want to marry my boyfriend someday. I'm not sure why, and we are very young, but someday, I'd like to. I've been dating him a year, and he's been my best friend for three years. He is my best friend, and I am in love...
A. 22 November 2010: Sure it's normal. Just take your time and grow into adults first. We don't recommend that to be mean, it just helps you out a long way. Mature people make mature decisions, and immature decisions lead to much heartache. It's fine that you have ... (read in full...)
Why does sex still always hurt?
Q. Whenever I do it with my boyfriend I hurt and bleed. There's always enough foreplay that I am well-lubricated, but it always hurts. Any ideas?...
A. 21 November 2010: Either he's too big, too rough, or you are too tight. ... (read in full...)
I cheated with him when he had a g/f and now I think he's doing that to me!
Q. help me! i was looking through my boyfriends phone and we were just messing about, but in his inbox it said stuff like "dont worry babe mattys here for you xxxx" and thats the sort of stuff he says to me! its not fair i started crying to i tihnk he ...
A. 21 November 2010: What was his excuse for the text message?... (read in full...)
Do most people have sex on their wedding night?
Q. Hey everyone.. Well, I've never asked a question on this site before so please bear with me. I'm getting married in about 3 weeks and I just happen to still be a virgin. Even though my fiance and I have talked about our honeymoon, I've really just...
A. 21 November 2010: Stay natural, the way you typically trim down there. Otherwise you might risk getting pimples or bumps or scars or cuts or irritation or ingrown hair... the list goes on and on. If you've never shaved before, stay as comfortable as you can, just go ... (read in full...)
Should I try to become "the 1950's" model wife?
Q. My question is should I try and change myself to try to be perfect all the time and basically be the 1950's wife (I have accepted the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids, but I dont agree with the "Dont speak unless spoken to")? My husband ...
A. 21 November 2010: Charming. He treats you as a maid and cheats on top of it. And you put up with this because you were childhood sweethearts, he's all you know, and you believe love is enough to change him. You know people don't change like that. Rarely they do.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 21 November 2010: @ Cindy Cares, where have you experienced Muslim men or women are allowed to marry Christian or Jewish women? Here in Norway we have even seen politicians that converted to Islam to be able to marry the woman they love. And I have seen several ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to prove he's been cheating on me?
Q. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. I was tidying his room today and found a reciept for a hotel room from 2 weeks ago, 6 Nov 10. The hotel is in the city centre which is about 10 minutes from his house so I know he wouldn't have stayed there ...
A. 20 November 2010: Why would he take his side spring to a hotel though? If he lives in the neighbourhood and don't live together with you? Perhaps afraid to leave evidence?
Ask him about it... But is this your only reason to suspect he is cheating? If you never su... (read in full...)
Should I try to become "the 1950's" model wife?
Q. My question is should I try and change myself to try to be perfect all the time and basically be the 1950's wife (I have accepted the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids, but I dont agree with the "Dont speak unless spoken to")? My husband ...
A. 20 November 2010: This goes way deeper than being a 50's style housewife. I am actually unable to help you, because I have faced the same type of men which you describe your husband as, and I was unable to reach through to them and have a logical conversation. But ... (read in full...)
Need relationship advice!
Q. I know I'm too young to date, but everywhere I look I see everyone in a relationship. I'm not the jealous type or anything. But for no reason at all, I want a boyfriend. I can only get along with people older than me, people my age, not so much. I'm ...
A. 20 November 2010: How old are you?
I don't think there's anything wrong with you, I am assuming you are in the beginning of your teenages? At this point you will have raging hormones that give you impulses, the feeling of "needing" one thing or the other. Nothing ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend dumped me over a lie, help!
Q. My girlfriend was hospitalized due to a mental illness. Seeing as we had a very important class together, I informed the professor she would be gone for a while due to being in the hospital. I did not tell anyone why, just that she was. I made sure ...
A. 20 November 2010: Do you know who this other person is that claims you told them? Did you ask your girlfriend exactly what they claimed you said?
In either case, lie or no lie, she doesn't trust you, but trusts this other person over you. Even when you didn't l... (read in full...)
What does a brown discharge mean?
Q. i have brown discharge coming from my vagina and i cant go to a doctor can anyone tell me what it is and what to do about it?...
A. 20 November 2010: Does it come after or before your period? How often does it come, and how long does it last?
Often we get brown discharge at the end of the period, or inbetween. Bleedings in between periods are no unusual, and can often be small "spottin... (read in full...)
Will I get any bigger?
Q. Hey guys, I know this is asked a lot but it's an issue I have to deal with. I'm so discouraged by my penis size. I'm a 16 year old boy and when you look at me you see a buff looking guy who you'd a assume has a larger than average size. But that's ...
A. 20 November 2010: And what exactly do you think is the average penis size?
You are perfectly normal in that department, NOTHING to worry about. As for your friends, boys your age tend to lie, and as for what you have seen, you have never seen a picture with you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: I have to point out, just from what I have read of the situation, that she is NOT trying to make him change. He DID celebrate with her the first years of their relationship. It is not much to ask for that he keeps celebrating it with her. If he had ... (read in full...)
I want to be a porn star does anyone have any advice regarding this matter?
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old make and I would like to be a male porn star. Does anyone have any advice regarding this matter? ...
A. 20 November 2010: Start off in amateur videos?
My best advice to you though would be to get legal first (18-20 years of age), finish school and start on some education, just in case the porn doesn't pay off. I really have no idea if there's any good money in that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: PS. my ex wasn't even religious one bit, so it had nothing to do with celebrating going against some personal beliefs. He just didn't care either way, had celebrated it plenty before, but decided he didn't want to bother with it any more. Fair deal, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: Sorry that I can't help you. This could be the dealbreaker hun. He wont celebrate Christmas with you now, he wont celebrate it next year either Im afraid. It is selfish of him. You have told him how important it is to you, and he should go and ... (read in full...)
My husband drinks too much and it really scares me!
Q. My husband and I have known each other for about ten years (since we were 18). We started dating at the six year mark of that, got engaged at the seven year mark and got married at the eight year mark. So, all in all, we've been together for four ...
A. 19 November 2010: How do you communicate with him? It is particularly easy for those who grew up with a traumatizing childhood to get addicted. And even more so if their parents experience stress during their upbringing as well. I say this because it is a lot easier ... (read in full...)
He says it is due to my "lack of sexual desire" that I don't feel anything during sex. Is that true??
Q. My husband and myself have been having sex for the past one year. During this time I never experienced an orgasm. I want him to enjoy sex for which I take the initiative in doing things which he likes. Our sex usually lasts 5 mins. He starts ...
A. 19 November 2010: ps. if he doesn't want the fluids on his hands you should teach him about something called water and soap. Or have him wear cloves. ... (read in full...)
He says it is due to my "lack of sexual desire" that I don't feel anything during sex. Is that true??
Q. My husband and myself have been having sex for the past one year. During this time I never experienced an orgasm. I want him to enjoy sex for which I take the initiative in doing things which he likes. Our sex usually lasts 5 mins. He starts ...
A. 19 November 2010: Your husband is selfish in bed, that is the reason why you aren't enjoying it. It is HIS job to please you and make sure you enjoy it. It is not something you merely learn on your own. Actually, one part is your own responsibility, the other is his ... (read in full...)
There's nothing that I have that she wants. What can I do?
Q. Like it says on the Title; there's nothing I have that she wants. I really have NO idea what to do. I offer to take her to the movies, she likes the idea but she's not psyched about it, I offer to take her to dinner at a restaurant, she ...
A. 19 November 2010: Something else, anything but the things you have already done. If this is your girlfriend however she needs to start getting active in figuring out activities as well. She doesn't seem interested at all, which will make the relationship boring and ... (read in full...)
How do I last longer?
Q. Plain and Simple...I'm a guy...How do I last longer in bed? I get so turned on and can't last more than a few minutes and always finish before she does. ...
A. 19 November 2010: Girls don't finish by getting f##ed. Some can, most don't. If you want to give your girl an orgasm, give it to her before you give yourself one. That doesn't mean you need to last longer, than means you have to use your hands and tongue my friend. ... (read in full...)
I cheated with him when he had a g/f and now I think he's doing that to me!
Q. help me! i was looking through my boyfriends phone and we were just messing about, but in his inbox it said stuff like "dont worry babe mattys here for you xxxx" and thats the sort of stuff he says to me! its not fair i started crying to i tihnk he ...
A. 19 November 2010: Why do you not want to break up? He is a cheater, thats how he got together with you, and thats how he's currently working on getting together with some other naive woman. Lesson is learnt, now leave this man before you get too involved and loose ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: The problem Princess Aunty is not there there aren't safe days. There are. But they are not something you should gamble on, because sometimes your cycle can change, perhaps your cycle isn't always regular, and so on. And even in the safe days I have ... (read in full...)
We have totally different views on lying, who is right?
Q. How do I deal with this??? Me and my girlfriend are in mad love, and could probably make it if there weren't these issues. One is that we both have very different views on lying. I view lying as not very glamorous but a part of life, it...
A. 19 November 2010: Someone lying to a direct question I see as a lie no matter if its big or small. If its something small I don't see the need to lie about it in the first place, and it only makes me think that if a person can lie about something so small, then they ... (read in full...)
Penetration phobia.....I'm tired of running!
Q. ~PENETRATION PHOBIA~ I am a 47-year old woman who has vaginismus and thick hymen. I do not use tampons, because no matter what I do I never succeed at being able to get it to enter, and the harder I try to force it in the tighter my vagin...
A. 19 November 2010: I've never been in your situation, but from what you describe both these instances where you had sex was rape and without consent? The first time he forced himself on you, and naturally you would bleed as you were a virgin, and virgins are typically ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works!
Q. I know this is a common question. But pls i need help. I don't understand how this whole reproduction system works. Can i fall preg after having sex 6 days after my periods? When am i likely to fall preg(if terms of days after periods)?...
A. 19 November 2010: you can get pregnant at all times unless you wear protection or use an instrument that measures your fertile days. In either case you are not 100% protected, and there is always a risk of pregnancy when you have sex (intercourse). USE PROTECTION! ... (read in full...)
There's nothing that I have that she wants. What can I do?
Q. Like it says on the Title; there's nothing I have that she wants. I really have NO idea what to do. I offer to take her to the movies, she likes the idea but she's not psyched about it, I offer to take her to dinner at a restaurant, she ...
A. 19 November 2010: Who is she? Is this your girlfriend or someone you want to date? If you only want to date this person I really think it's time to let her go, because she doesn't seem interested in you! If she actually was interested in you she'd probably be ok with ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but his friends are really mean!
Q. hi i really hope you can help me because i have a problem. I really like this guy, but he hardly knows i exist. My friends tell me that he likes me, but im not so sure. This is good for me, apart from his friends are really popular and mean. I ...
A. 19 November 2010: Try to get in contact with him when his friends are not around.
I don't really think this guy is worth it though if his friends are all mean and will bully you. Besides, if he likes to hang out with bullies he more than likely is a bully himself.... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but his friends are really mean!
Q. hi i really hope you can help me because i have a problem. I really like this guy, but he hardly knows i exist. My friends tell me that he likes me, but im not so sure. This is good for me, apart from his friends are really popular and mean. I ...
A. 19 November 2010: Try to get in contact with him when his friends are not around.
I don't really think this guy is worth it though if his friends are all mean and will bully you. ... (read in full...)
Why was I asked if I was a virgin?
Q. Hello, I was at a birthday party for a relative,at the end i took my cousin home and two of her friends,and out of nowhere my cousin asked me if i was a virgin.My cousin is 15 do you think thats strange an why would she ask me that? The reason t...
A. 19 November 2010: Sounds like family rumours have gotten around and he is a teenager who doesn't know how to hold a secret. I bet someone in your family have a suspicion you are a virgin, and then it's become a topic for discussion, and the 15 year old picked up on ... (read in full...)
I don't know how I can get married in the next month?
Q. My fiance contact his ex wife to say goodbye yesterday after they separated 5 months ago.I don't know how I can get married in next month? Please help me. My husband contacted his ex wife recently to say that forgive me for all things that happ...
A. 19 November 2010: Where are you from, and how did you meet this man?
I don't think you should get married to him, at least not next month. It doesn't sound like you really know this man at all. I do not think it is "true of all men" that they get jealous when the... (read in full...)
Is my ex mentally ill and dangerous?
Q. why does my ex bf breakup, forget me for long time then out of the blue appear when i get a new bf and then disappears out of the blue when i forget about my new bf for him???? This happened 4 times. I know its part my fault but why does he keep ...
A. 19 November 2010: It's not necessarily a mental problem, other than a personality flaw. He is a jealous type that don't want to see you date other men. Thats why every time you find someone new, he suddenly appears, then when he gets his will (you leaving the other ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 19 November 2010: You are right, it's not necessary to tell him now why you aren't comfortable doing things below the belt. Even people who aren't virgins are not comfortable with activities below the belt so soon. It takes time, for all of us. You don't need an ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 18 November 2010: Questioning your history? That sounds unusual to me. If a guy is with you he should be focusing on you, not your history, right? Not sure what you mean about that one.
Yes, especially those who have experience with relationship will know to take ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 18 November 2010: I never took my top off while making out. If I take my top off thats during sex, or when going to do something erotic, so I don't see the connection between making out and taking the top off. I expect the guy will have to drop his shirt as well ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
