| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Revealing too much at the swimming pool
Q. There is this girl at the gym who wears a bathing suit that is way too revealing! It only covers half of her breasts and only a quarter of her ass. It is almost seethru, and she always has T.H.O.'s. She makes a point to walk slowly around the pool ...
A. 3 December 2010: Im impressed with how much you know Cerberus! THO was new to me as well!... (read in full...)
Revealing too much at the swimming pool
Q. There is this girl at the gym who wears a bathing suit that is way too revealing! It only covers half of her breasts and only a quarter of her ass. It is almost seethru, and she always has T.H.O.'s. She makes a point to walk slowly around the pool ...
A. 3 December 2010: I have no idea what THO is, but maybe you should just pull her aside and ask her if she knows how much she's showing off. Perhaps she doesn't realize it's almost see-through, and doesn't think anyone notices the swimming suit is too small. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!
Q. I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...
A. 3 December 2010: Congratulations on getting a gorgeous girl in your life, I wish you and your new family a happy Christmas and all the best in the new year :) It is a lovely name you have given her as well.... (read in full...)
Too much sex...how can I ask her to tone it down?
Q. Ok so this is an odd situation. Me and my girlfriend just moved in together. And we we were having sex like 7 times a week. And we used condoms everytime, and I brought up the pill and having more sex. She said ok and she went on the pill and we ...
A. 3 December 2010: Yes you can say that. But I am actually happy for your girlfriend that you are willing to talk to her about it and have a chat about it rather than starting to ignore her needs! Kudos to you! Sex is great, as you said yourself, but we all have ... (read in full...)
How do I get noticed by Mr Right?
Q. What do guys want in a dating,marriage relationship? How do I get noticed by mr. right?...
A. 2 December 2010: I guess he'll notice you the same way you notice him? It will depend on what you are attracted to and want in a relationship, how you get along etc. I think most people will enjoy being with someone they are comfortable with, can talk to with ease ... (read in full...)
I'm completely devastated by the lack of communication me and my mother have.
Q. Hello, I know this has nothing to do with dating issues etc. But I'm completely devastated by the lack of communication me and my mother have. Sure we get along every-time, laugh, agree on the same things.... but just that because when it comes to...
A. 30 November 2010: You need to talk to your mother about this and be straight forward, ask her all your questions, and tell her the truth about how you are! Even if she doesn't ask, and you think she doesn't care, you are going to have to be the one to put yourself ... (read in full...)
Worried about these little black bits!
Q. I really want to do things with this lad, but you know when a man shaves loads round their mouth? Well, "down there", has gone like that because ive shaved too much! Even when i shave it again you can see little black bits. What do i do?!...
A. 30 November 2010: Stop thinking that it matters or that anyone cares. Your body is natural and normal and nothing to be ashamed of, and if a man ever gets to see you naked he should feel special and the luckiest man in the world, otherwise he's not worth it.
You'r... (read in full...)
How do I get the friendship with my cousin back?
Q. i’m a male, i love my female cousin very very very much,i like her with no bounds.We are of the same age. We had a sweet romantic relation and also an immensely strong friendship from 9 yrs of age.Then when i was 12 yrs old i got an accident...
A. 30 November 2010: I think you need to work hard and be patient if you want to rebuild the friendship. The accident you got in, and you being handicapped, pushed her away from you, and she was probably devastated as well and unsure of what to do. Perhaps the easiest ... (read in full...)
My friend is so boring!
Q. What do you think of quiet people.? My friend is way too quiet!, but it's like sometimes she will just sit there and say nothing at all. She will talk for a little bit then she would shut up. When others see her sometimes she just gives them a s...
A. 30 November 2010: I think your friend sounds like a great and really cool person to be honest. And I don't see what your problem is. If you don't like her then stop being her friend. There's nothing wrong with your friend at all.
When people call her names she igno... (read in full...)
Unexpected father of a lesbian daughter. How do I deal with this?
Q. I am a 28-year-old single, straight, male, who is now a stay at home dad to a 14 year old girl, my niece, who was left with me when my sister and brother-in-law died 2 months ago in a car accident. The first month was definitely awkward as I have ...
A. 30 November 2010: Treat it just the same as her coming to you saying she's straight. Treat possible dates just the same as you would dates with guys. Yes she won't run the risk of pregnancy, but she still runs the risk of catching an STD, and sex for the first time, ... (read in full...)
What cologne should I get my boyfriend for christmas?
Q. Not really a relationship question as such but something most people will have an opinion on I hope. I want to get my boyfriend some cologne as part of his xmas present, but I'm completely clueless when it's comes to male fragrance and was hoping ...
A. 26 November 2010: Hugo Boss. Grey bottle. It's the best, go sniff it at a store and you'll see what I mean. Love that scent. ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to kick the nic?
Q. hi how can i convince this boy i really like and get along with to quit smoking , i tell him its disgusting but he just looks at me and laughts but he should'nt be smoking how can i convince him to stop help please.x...
A. 26 November 2010: Tell him it tastes bad and stop kissing him. ... (read in full...)
Is fingering supposed to hurt?
Q. I got fingered for the first time the other day and he went right in and it kinda hurt but in a pleasurable way, is this normal?...
A. 25 November 2010: Yes. He was a bit rough if it hurt. Why do you ask? Did you expect something different?... (read in full...)
Anybody want to share ideas on being freaky?
Q. So i'm new to this site, anyways... i'm 20 and me and my girlfriend have ben going out for 2.5 years :) and we've done or talked about doing just about everything sexual, and she and i are actually worried that if we last that we will run out of ...
A. 25 November 2010: Trust me, if you stay innovative and interested in sex you will come up with ideas yourself. If you're good in bed you'll never really get bored, it's called "perfecting your technique". Try tantric sex though. It might not be "freaky", but ... (read in full...)
I don't like the taste of condoms! Is there anything else we could use?
Q. i had an enterprise day today which basically meant doing nothing. i had a sexual health lecture (not just me the whole group) and we were all given condoms. i serioulsy hate them. they tase disgusting and i love giving oral. even the flavoured ones ...
A. 25 November 2010: Take tests for STD's, get clarified as not having any, and then you can have as much oral as you want condom free.
But if your boyfriend does have and STD, he needs to get treatment, or you get a vaccine, and until you are both good to go you j... (read in full...)
Are we on a break?
Q. Said she needs space, does that mean we are on a break? Do I still text her and say happy thanksgiving?...
A. 25 November 2010: The best thing to do is ask her to make absolutely sure. Then decide on rules for the break. Is seeing other people ok? Is having sex with others ok? ... (read in full...)
How long do men stay horny?
Q. I'm 17 and i'm currently dating someone. when we're together, he tells me that he's horny and the next day, the feelings stay the same. How long do boys stay horny?...
A. 25 November 2010: Teenage boys? They stay horny pretty much 100% of the time. If he goes around telling you that though it sounds like he just wants you to have sex with him...... (read in full...)
I want this to be our flat not his childrens
Q. my boyfriend and i are moving into a one bed flat together soon - our first home together. he has three kids and has a family photo on his wall currently but i want one of me and him in our new flat. i don't get on with his children and want it to ...
A. 25 November 2010: Alright, seeing as his kids are that old (I thought they'd be small children, not adults) it becomes a little different. Because clearly they see you as a threat and THEY start to compare with you, due to the age. They don't understand the different ... (read in full...)
Does he love me as much as he does his child?
Q. Please help me understand. I'm 20 years old and i'm wondering about things in general to do with parent-child relationships. I read on here yesterday that its a diff kind of love and you often see on here parents write that their children are the...
A. 25 November 2010: Imagine if you had a child of your own. Would you still love your partner? Would you show it in a different way perhaps? Is it a different kind of love?
Your partner may love you only as much as you can ever love another human being. The love for... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is amazing! Should I just accept her kindness and stop complaining?
Q. I do not know how I got so lucky as to snatch up my amazing and beautiful girlfriend; I would be lost in so many ways without her. I've had a thing for her for a while now but all throughout high school, she would be my friend and nothing more. Then ...
A. 25 November 2010: I think you are doing a lot for her by keeping up the good work, and paying your bills. She has helped you tons, but ultimately it would be VERY easy for you to screw her over, drop everything, take the car and money and leave. It's suck maximum, ... (read in full...)
Is denial of conjugal relations a form of cruelty?
Q. After 11 years of marriage, which included conjugal relations, my wife said she no longer wanted to have sex with me. She said I could mssturbate to meet my sexual needs. My choices were to find a eexual partner outside of the marriage or remain in ...
A. 25 November 2010: According to what country's law?... (read in full...)
I begged him to comeback but I'm not into him now
Q. 11 months ago my boyfriend left me for a girl he was cheating with and the entire time I begged him to give us another shot. So now he's back ready to be serious and I agreed to have sex with him today and now I feel guilty. Because when we was ...
A. 25 November 2010: Don't be friends with him. Your ex boyfriend sounds like nothing but trouble, and will surely be a pain in your ass if you let him stay around you. Break it off and DONT BE FRIENDS! ... (read in full...)
2 great guys want to marry me! I don't know which to chose!
Q. Hey All , i am a 24 years old i have my perfect CALM life .. i never felt i needed love in my life .. many guys wanted to be with me but till now no one of any captured my heart. in those past couple of days, a guy came to our house asking for marr...
A. 25 November 2010: Can you explain more of your cultural background? For me it is very unusual to not date before getting married, and a proposal in my culture only comes after spending a lot of time together, getting to know the other, and love each other.
Do yo... (read in full...)
My brother says I'm hot! Is he the brother I used to know?
Q. So my brother has returned home after getting his degree from college. He's sticking around, so he can get his life in order. It's been a long time since I've last seen him. We've been pretty much on neutral grounds as we grew up. We weren't really ...
A. 25 November 2010: People change. If you don't like the way he looks at you and the things he tells you (the sexy part is going over the line if you ask me) then TELL him so. Tell him to stop it, it makes you feel uncomfortable, and he is your brother and should NOT ... (read in full...)
Husband waking me up at 3:30 am wanting to talk! I need my sleep!
Q. My life feels like it's falling apart over something that should be so simple! My husband only needs 5 hours of sleep but I need 8 in order to function. He normally wakes me up at 5:00 AM which is bad enough because I like to sleep until 6:30 on the ...
A. 25 November 2010: Tell him to respect your sleep and don't humor him. Draw the line. Don't be a pushover. Of course you need your sleep!!! And he has no right to demand when you wake up. You're not his child.
Just be strict. If he tries to wake you up then don... (read in full...)
I want this to be our flat not his childrens
Q. my boyfriend and i are moving into a one bed flat together soon - our first home together. he has three kids and has a family photo on his wall currently but i want one of me and him in our new flat. i don't get on with his children and want it to ...
A. 25 November 2010: How on earth do you think you can have the kid's father moved to a new home without them being allowed to be a part of his life there? If you don't want them around he'll have to live somewhere else, and not with you.
His kids are a part of his l... (read in full...)
Dealing with neediness as a male? Any tips...
Q. I always feel a bit weird being a male but being so needy with others. Ive always passed it off as i am a people person and just like to be around others. I always need reassurance from others and hate being on my own. I have had some excellen...
A. 25 November 2010: No, you know this could work! You could end up as a comfort blanket, but you can also attempt to avoid ending up as once, thus securing your chance for a real relationship.
Have you talked to her about the "us" question? Defining who you are and ... (read in full...)
Three years since we split, how can I erase the unwanted memories?
Q. My ex tried to contact me on Facebook. I didn't add her as a friend because every time i hear from her it brings me down for days. This time however i saw that she has a new surname and its really brought back some unwanted memories.My question is ...
A. 24 November 2010: Stop checking her facebook... And potentially tell her you don't want her to contact you?
It can take years to get over your ex, and people move at different speeds. It took me approximately 5 years to get over my first love. And I still find my ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 24 November 2010: Well if it helps you any I am in the same boat as you! So I really do feel for you! My ex decided to keep my belongings and money and claimed I don't deserve them back after treating him so "horribly" after our breakup. When I actually didn't do ... (read in full...)
How do I stop guys trying to get with me? I have told them so many times I want to be single!
Q. this may sound weird but how do i get guys to stop trying to get with me? i dress conservative,shy,sweet, and i will tell guys that i dont want a man until i get my own place,the job i actually want and etc,but the guys will keep asking me to be ...
A. 24 November 2010: Yes, this doesn't sound like the regular game of getting hit on. This happens so often, and you said you heard guys in the background too when they call you, as well as these guys all having some connection with you.
I am sorry but it seems th... (read in full...)
We don't have sex enough
Q. I have a serious issue, my fiance only wants to have Sex once every couple weeks and i want it every night or at least ever other day, but i have never had to be the one to come on to a man before because the man always wanted it, i have hinted ...
A. 24 November 2010: Yes, definitely! Is this a trick question? Why are you even engaged to a man who you are not sexually compatible with, it shouldn't have to be a struggle. And if you want to talk to him about it you just have to be blunt and say it like it is.
... (read in full...)
Dealing with neediness as a male? Any tips...
Q. I always feel a bit weird being a male but being so needy with others. Ive always passed it off as i am a people person and just like to be around others. I always need reassurance from others and hate being on my own. I have had some excellen...
A. 24 November 2010: Exactly who is this "guy" that you at first describe as a close friend of yours? Does he approve of you and his now ex getting closer? Are you willing to toss away that friendship for this girl?
It sounds like a perfect match, she is needy an... (read in full...)
What can I do to cheer up and get some balance in my life?
Q. Hello Everyone. Lately I am feeling very depressed, normally I am a really happy going person, but 2010 hasnt really been my year... This year Ive lost a good friend and his passing has been hard on me My girlfriend cheated, lied, broke...
A. 24 November 2010: Change the things you don't like. Set a goal for yourself and just go and DO it.
Have problems at work? Deal with it. Don't like your girlfriend? You know what you gotta do, leave her. Don't like your living conditions? Move. Take action and cont... (read in full...)
Does a girl always fall in love with the guy she loses her virginity to?
Q. is it true that when a girl loses her virginity that the boy/man she loses it to she kind of falls in love with him?...
A. 23 November 2010: To the anon: there is a difference between remembering someone and still being in love with them!... (read in full...)
Does a girl always fall in love with the guy she loses her virginity to?
Q. is it true that when a girl loses her virginity that the boy/man she loses it to she kind of falls in love with him?...
A. 23 November 2010: I have no idea if that happens often, but I can imagine. It's not so much about virginity as it is about people who have sex tend to fall in love with each other. Do not quote me on this, and I don't know the scientific names, but: When you have sex ... (read in full...)
Neighbour cheated on fiancee with me.
Q. Well i guess the title has got you all wondering what is going on. well ive been in some sticky situations before but non like this. if you have time please listen to my story and i ask for your best advice as soon as possible. well my nex...
A. 22 November 2010: If you keep attracting the wrong kind of man you might be in need of a change in yourself. Maybe you do send out the wrong signal, maybe you accept too much from men, maybe you have high standards when it comes to appearances, I don't know. Or maybe ... (read in full...)
What is the perfect penis size?
Q. OK, so I know there are a lot of penis size questions on DC, and most of the aunts are honest and offer reassuring advice on this sensitive topic. And we get that size is not everything, and bigger is not always better and it can hurt, etc. And ...
A. 22 November 2010: Don't forget about shape! Some are bent a certain way, some are straight, some are thicker at the bottom, others are thicker at the top!
I actually like the slightly bent ones. They reach spots the straight penis can't, although straight is lovel... (read in full...)
What do men find sexy?
Q. What do men find sexy in a woman? Is it her smile, is it the way she carries herself, is it the way she looks, is it her attitude towards life, etc...? I really would like to men what men perceive as sexy in a woman. Thank you in advance. :)...
A. 22 November 2010: I think its sexy if she looks me in the eye and talks to me, smiles and shows an interest in me as a person. That makes me interested in getting to know her, and eye contact in particular can be so sexy. If she (or he for that matter) genuinely ... (read in full...)
Break up? Go out with other guy?
Q. I dont know what to do. I love my boyfriend to bits, but there are some things i dont like. He is unemployed ( i am too, but i am trying my best to get a job ), he has spondylosis and he sleeps a lot during the day. I know he cant help having an ...
A. 22 November 2010: No dating other men until you are single.
And decide if you want to stay with your boyfriend based on who he is alone. It's not fair on him that you only date him until someone "better" comes along.
If he's got an illness you shouldn't try pl... (read in full...)
Will I ever get a boyfriend?
Q. i'm nearly 15 and haven't got a boyfriend yet. i'm starting to think i'll never get one!!! at my school, people play jokes asking people out and stuff, but my problem with that is that you never know when people are asking you out for real. i'm ...
A. 22 November 2010: Will you ever get a boyfriend? Yes.
Here's some statistics I've pulled out of my hat: every girl who didn't have a boyfriend at the age of 15 has had several by the age of 25. With the natural exception that confirms the rule. Unless you want to ... (read in full...)
Should I pretend I'm not a virgin?
Q. im 20, almost 21 and still a virgin. I recently dated my first real boyfriend. When i told him i was a virgin, he started treating me like a little kid. he was also a pig and would have totally held it above me, sorta notch on his belt idea. What ...
A. 22 November 2010: I think in either case it's always best to be honest. If you want someone to like you for who you are, lying is never the answer. Wouldn't you rather meet a man who respects that you are a virgin and doesn't act as badly as your ex (and his friends ... (read in full...)
Neighbour cheated on fiancee with me.
Q. Well i guess the title has got you all wondering what is going on. well ive been in some sticky situations before but non like this. if you have time please listen to my story and i ask for your best advice as soon as possible. well my nex...
A. 22 November 2010: Oh my god. You are so naive. Im sorry, but you need to hear it.
You know he likes you back but he's only scared of leaving his fiance? So in other words: he's a cheating coward!
What a GREAT man you have fallen in love with! Absolutely amazi... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 18 November 2010: Good for you, we have said before you should just go to the police to claim you property back! Best of luck, and hope you can soon put this behind you.... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: ps. about feeling inadequate about the new bf earning more than you.. well that doesn't mean a thing. Imagine he doesn't know what he's doing in bed, and her getting all frustrated because you were so much better. Should put a smile on your face.... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: Saw your update after I posted. Here's my answer on how to be the bigger guy. Just walk away. And enjoy your life. Don't bother with her again, and don't send her any notes or show her any attention. Let her be and just walk away. There's no ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: Did you contact the police to get your things back?
Write down exactly what you think that belongs to you thats is still at her apartment. Also try and add a cost to it, or if they have affectional value write that.
Are the things on the li... (read in full...)
I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!
Q. I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...
A. 5 June 2010: The text got a little mixed in my last post, what I meant was that the two decisions needed to be made separately is whether or not you wish to know the identity of the father, and then what to do with the child. ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!
Q. I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...
A. 5 June 2010: As for my personal opinion:
I also wonder, is it possible to have a DNA test taken while the fetus is in the womb? I believe that you will always wonder who the father is. Even if you have an abortion or not. I believe if you have an abortion, you ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified this baby is not my boyfriends... but in fact the man's who raped me!
Q. I dont actually know what to say when speaking with my boyfriend about this :/ and its CONSTANTLY on my mind! im 18 and my boyfriend is 28, we've been together for 2 and a half years now and he is the most perfect, amazing thing in my life! i found ...
A. 5 June 2010: It took me a while to dig up this, but I think you should read it. I don't mean to be discouraging, or to promote other webpages, but it was written by a woman who was raped, got pregnant, and had the baby. Perhaps it could offer you some insight. ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
