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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Am I ready for this baby?
Q. im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best ...
A. 28 January 2011: Im sorry for you, it's hard to have a miscarriage. You should talk to a school nurse or your doctor about it, even if you never tell your parents. Just to make sure you're fine and there's no medical issues, and to deal with the stress and feelings ... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 16 December 2010: Ask D... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 16 December 2010: Last advice, find a beta reader. They will be able to help you with this as well.... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 16 December 2010: Well, it's not a good place to ask for bad advice you know. And breaking up a couple to get with your ex is a bad idea so I don't think anyone of us are good at giving advice that would just not be good advice... Thats really all there is to it.
... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 15 December 2010: Sorry I don't have any good stories for you here, and thats purely because if you actually wanted an ex back, breaking up their current relationship wouldn't do you any good at all actually. It'd actually backfire at you pretty badly! Here's why:
Y... (read in full...)
Will me being a "long stayer" cause her problems?
Q. Ok, Me and my girlfriend are gonna be moving in with each other, To make the long story short. we will be having sex a lot, and I usally last about 2-4 hours, We have had sex about 3 times and we have been together for 6 months, I just want to know ...
A. 15 December 2010: Yes you can cause damage if she's not wet enough all the time. Tell her to be completely honest about when it starts to hurt and then you should stop, this will prevent it. The damage might not be permanent, but it is easy if you over-do things that ... (read in full...)
She won't shave or trim!
Q. I have had multiple conversations with my wife regarding the shaving of her vag, but she will not so much as keep it trim. I've actually shaved her a few times, but I feel like it's just part of a woman's grooming process to keep it trim if that's ...
A. 15 December 2010: If that's both of yours view on marriage, that you are each others property and that your bodies belong to each other, than sure, you get to have a say in it. But I am not sure if she agrees to this view of marriage, as most of us on this thread do ... (read in full...)
She won't shave or trim!
Q. I have had multiple conversations with my wife regarding the shaving of her vag, but she will not so much as keep it trim. I've actually shaved her a few times, but I feel like it's just part of a woman's grooming process to keep it trim if that's ...
A. 14 December 2010: You have no right to demand anything from her, you simply wishing her to shave or trim is no real reason for her to do so. The real argument here is that when you are married you either keep up appearances for the sake of your partner or you don't. ... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: I wanted to shoot in that I agree with doublejack. If a guy wants sex with me on the first date I also exclude him as someone I'd have a relationship with, the respect for that person is just lost. Now it all depends on the guy and the setting, but ... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: If you want sex then go get it. What should you care what they think of you or whatever, they'd be known as guys that have sex on the first date as well, won't they?
But, I would say avoid going to bed with a blabber-mouth. Sure, you shouldn'... (read in full...)
Ex sent me a holiday card with kisses and then let me know he was happily dating someone. Why?
Q. I dated a guy for two and a half years, lived with him for a while. The end was mutual, even though I still loved and missed him, he had met someone behind my back and wanted to be with her. That was 9 months ago and we have had no contact. I ad...
A. 14 December 2010: I have no idea, he sounds like a jerk for doing that. Maybe he wanted to show off as a last stab at you. Either that or he's completely oblivious. I'd be mad at him, because that was low. Perhaps you should get in contact with this woman he is ... (read in full...)
Are there a lot of people who are open-minded where sex is concerned?
Q. I was just wondering.. are there lots of people who are quite open-minded when it comes to sex? I've only had one boyfriend before, we were together for a few months but never had sex (I wanted to wait before I lost my virginity to him but we en...
A. 14 December 2010: I've rarely met someone who wasn't open for trying new things, the problem is that after you have tried new things one partner might like it and the other don't. In addition to finding someone open minded there are a number of factors that determine ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 he's 11, should I ask him out?
Q. i fancy this guy who is two years younger than me. i am 13 and he is 11. we met on holiday in holland this summer and we are always texting and ringing each other. he lives about 15-20 minutes away from me so it isnt that far. i fancy him because he ...
A. 14 December 2010: I don't think 2 years is a too big of an age gap, but I really am against an 11 year old having a girlfriend. He's still a kid! What would you want with a child, not to mention you are still so little yourself, but at least you have hit your ... (read in full...)
When you cheat does it mean you really don't love your partner anymore?
Q. hi i just have a very simple question, i have been with my bf for 4 years now but i have recentley cheated on him for the first time ever and i am very confused about my feelings but i just wanted to know: when you cheat, does it really mean that ...
A. 13 December 2010: I don't think it means you don't love your partner, but it definitely means you love yourself way more and put yourself first and above your partner, and do not consider their feelings. I don't think most would call that love, but love comes in many ... (read in full...)
How do I not make the same mistakes in my future relationships?
Q. I've broken up with my ex about a month ago, and its only in the aftermath of things have I realised stuff myself. A recent bit of information from my ex girlfriend and what she said about me got me thinking. Yeah, it is a biast opinion from her...
A. 13 December 2010: Im not sure if I can understand what you mean by everything in your follow-up, you're not giving clear cut examples. However, having this girl back sounds like a bad idea. You coming on here wanting to change is far away from actually changing, and ... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 13 December 2010: Guys can swing like that yes, if you give them the wrong signals and don't play it smooth yourself. Its all about reading the other person. Or perhaps he tried to flirt but didn't get the response he wanted, or he changed his mind after seeing how ... (read in full...)
I wasn't her first. How do I cope? How do I move on?
Q. How can I let go of the things she did before me? We've been together for almost 8 months now, and we're very happy. Of course, there have been some bumpy spots here and there, but we've overcome all of them. There's just one thing that I ...
A. 13 December 2010: I will say that although the anon poster is a bit hard on you, he or she is correct. You do act a bit like a spoiled child with this. The thing is you can not always have things the way you want them! Sure it would have been lovely if you lost your ... (read in full...)
I wasn't her first. How do I cope? How do I move on?
Q. How can I let go of the things she did before me? We've been together for almost 8 months now, and we're very happy. Of course, there have been some bumpy spots here and there, but we've overcome all of them. There's just one thing that I ...
A. 13 December 2010: Because it's just not how people feel about each other. Perhaps some do, but overall thats not how peoples feelings work. And humans are not pets, or cats. I suggest you too read that question.
If you've ever loved someone then you know that com... (read in full...)
Dumped by an email!
Q. I was recently dumped by email this afternoon. We had only been dating 3 months, but I personally think it is cowardly after even one date. At the time I read the email, I wrote a response that was too polite, and did not express how I actually f...
A. 13 December 2010: Nah, don't write him again. Just move on.... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 13 December 2010: I think its way overdue that you ask him out on a date then. Or are you going to sit around and analyze his behaviour while waiting for him to make a move on you?
Gather up some courage and ask him out. Plain and simple. Who knows why he does wha... (read in full...)
I wasn't her first. How do I cope? How do I move on?
Q. How can I let go of the things she did before me? We've been together for almost 8 months now, and we're very happy. Of course, there have been some bumpy spots here and there, but we've overcome all of them. There's just one thing that I ...
A. 13 December 2010: Well... there are many others who wonder the same thing, and this reminds me of a question I once answered where the girl refused to date a man who had had any other girlfriend before. She said that she refused to be someone's second, and this girl ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend giving massages to his girl friends? He should only do that to me!
Q. Well I need some advice. Currently I've been getting very jealous over things my boyfriend does with his friends that are girls. They aren't new things he's never done before, and I never used to get jealous. At first it bugged me but I got over it, ...
A. 13 December 2010: As long as you are both 100% comfortable with the "rules" of the relationship then it is fine, and great, to set down a certain set of rules. But be careful if you see that you have a ton of rules for him, and then nothing for yourself, or you make ... (read in full...)
How do I not make the same mistakes in my future relationships?
Q. I've broken up with my ex about a month ago, and its only in the aftermath of things have I realised stuff myself. A recent bit of information from my ex girlfriend and what she said about me got me thinking. Yeah, it is a biast opinion from her...
A. 13 December 2010: She doesn't state clearly what was the problem, other than arrogance, you didn't listen, and you were saying hurtful things. It sounds like a classic case of being self centered. I recognize a lot of what she says, I could say that about my ex as ... (read in full...)
What is it like to make love for the first time?
Q. question i would like to ask all the women on here what it was like to make love for the first time as i don't know what it like...
A. 13 December 2010: Making love, you mean not just having sex, but actually making love? All the times you make love are just as amazing as the first time, or even better by each time you make love, because by each time you grown closer to the one you are making love ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for friends to touch each other so much?
Q. Recently I've been making many new friends, both male and female. I have never had any male friends before, my contact with guys was limited to small talk with the boys in my class (needless to say I've never had a boyfriend). Lately, I've bec...
A. 12 December 2010: This is not typical friendship touching no. This is flirting. I think you might have misread your friends intentions, unless he does the same with all his other friends, or is gay.... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend giving massages to his girl friends? He should only do that to me!
Q. Well I need some advice. Currently I've been getting very jealous over things my boyfriend does with his friends that are girls. They aren't new things he's never done before, and I never used to get jealous. At first it bugged me but I got over it, ...
A. 12 December 2010: I understand that you get jealous, but I think this is a issue you need to address differently. Just coming out of a relationship with a man who didn't allow me to do certain things, minor things, like the ones you get jealous about, I will say it ... (read in full...)
Would my height be a problem "if" this happened??
Q. This question is purely based on IF I break up with "Dana". We are very happy and I have no intentions of ending our relationship. In the event that we do, there is this girl, "Marie". She's very obviously into me, and I wouldn't mind dating her (if ...
A. 12 December 2010: If it's happened to her before I think she's probably well aware of her height and yours.
As for your friend and the Dana situation... your friend really has no right to demand you break up with her, and if he's willing to let the friendsh... (read in full...)
Would my height be a problem "if" this happened??
Q. This question is purely based on IF I break up with "Dana". We are very happy and I have no intentions of ending our relationship. In the event that we do, there is this girl, "Marie". She's very obviously into me, and I wouldn't mind dating her (if ...
A. 12 December 2010: "Not dating her is a gift to her from me."
You're not doing her any favours kiddo. I will admit thought that while your question is somewhat valid, it pretty much drowns in your own glorification of yourself. You're so popular, well great for you,... (read in full...)
My bf is abusive, what can I do to stop this??
Q. Im only 16 my boyfriend treats me really bad he pushes me screams and does all kinds of things. I try to breakup with him but then im afraid because when i do then he gets more mad and hits me. He then feels sorry and wants me to not to be mad. I ...
A. 12 December 2010: Talk to your parents and ask them to help you out. If he gets abusive when you break up with him and hits you you should tell him while you are together with someone else, and not while you are alone with him.
Whatever HE then decides to do is HI... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or is my family really screwed up?
Q. Are my morals wrong in thinking that sisters shouldnt sleep with each others exs?? I'm the middle child of 3 sisters.I found out recently that my little sister slept with my ex fiance' and my older sister is currently sleeping with a guy i was ...
A. 12 December 2010: Im sorry, your sisters sound like s¤ts. I'd not do that either and I think it's down right wrong of them and nasty. The only reason the guys are sleeping with them is probably because it is cool to brag about having had sisters. Pick your next guy ... (read in full...)
How is this possible?
Q. my friend is hiv positive and pregnant but her husband is hiv negative how is it possible?...
A. 12 December 2010: Maverick, GREAT answer. Or just not.
Your friend's husband could be lying? Your friends husband could have used protection and so didn't catch it. HIV does not spread easily, yes you can get it from having sex with a HIV positive, or from get... (read in full...)
Why did this girl come to me and not my Casanova friend?
Q. Hi, recently i met a girl, but man was it easy! This has never hapend to me ever! She came to me and started flirting with me, it was as if she was instantly attracted to me when i walked in the room, she approached me! The thing is im good looking ...
A. 12 December 2010: You are young, and you will see as you grow older that there are many sorts of women as well as men, out there. In the teenage years most are afraid to be themselves and talk to whomever they like because they all have a need to be like the others. ... (read in full...)
Please help me and tell me how to enjoy my sexuality more!
Q. I have always wanted to have a one night stand and i was offered the chance and i refused it. i can't believe it, i am so regretful for saying no. I have been years without sex and mad at myself for my boring sex life and I only got myself to ...
A. 12 December 2010: If you find yourself saying no too often you need to practice saying yes!! That is the only way for you to get things rolling, if you keep saying to and being shy then you won't be able to get one night stands. If you only have yourself to blame ... (read in full...)
Is it worth giving it a go or am I reading way too much into it?
Q. Ok, so this is the situation so far. I met my now ex colleague while we working together. At that time I was engaged, and one day we were having a chat and he dropped in the conversation that all the guys on our team were talking about which girl ...
A. 11 December 2010: Take the risk. You don't call your friends attractive and sexy unless you think of them in other ways than pure friendship.... Take a small step at the time if you are unsure about mixed signals.... (read in full...)
She refused me, what do I do next?
Q. we were just friends at school for 2 yrs but i had secret feelings for her. after 5 years we met again at an organization. this 5 yrs were so bad for me, as i loved her i could not love anyone else. after few months at this organization i sent her ...
A. 11 December 2010: Take your time and just be friends. Its a good thing she wont leave her relationship, it shows she's faithful and have good qualities. But maybe they will break up, and then you can court her again more properly. Until then, no more love letters. ... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to let our first loves go...?
Q. Hello im going thru some crazy times, but im sure a lot of other people are too. I just wanna know why is it soo hard to let our first loves go? He says he will go if thats wat I want and i cant give him a straight answer. I know we cant work ...
A. 11 December 2010: It's always hard to let someone you love go. Be that your first love, second love, third love..., 10th love. When you love them it is always that hard. ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but never talks about her!
Q. There's this guy I work with I like and recently we've become closer as friends. He seems to really enjoy my company and has confide in me some very personal things. But now I have come to the conclusion that he has a live in girlfriend! I'm 99% ...
A. 10 December 2010: Sooner or later he'll understand your goals and what you are after anyways, won't he? Or how did you think you'd proceed? The norm isn't that boys and girls become friends, the norm is they befriend each other to see if theres relationship material ... (read in full...)
How long do guys last during sex?
Q. I was just wondering. How long do guys usually last during sex? Or how long does sex usually last?...
A. 10 December 2010: It lasts for as long as you want it to, sex is more than penetration... Sex can include anything from kissing to caressing to intercourse and so on. A guy by average lasts around what... 10 minutes?, with intercourse that is. If you take it slow it ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to marry a military man when I'm older?
Q. Hey... So this isnt a relationship question. But if any of you have husbands who do this as a job, you could help. Why do I want to marry a military/army man when Im older? I just think it would be cool. I know they would be gone a lot but for some ...
A. 10 December 2010: Maybe you like men in uniform? Don't be embarrassed, a ton of women do, me included. ... (read in full...)
Does being fat mean you've got no self esteem?
Q. Hi everyone. Well I'm overweight. My parents are annoying me all the time saying 'I have to lose weight or I'll die'. I'm not that fat, it's only them who say things like that to me. My mom also says I have no self esteem cause I'm fat and I don'...
A. 10 December 2010: You're right, your parents are in the wrong. Simple and easy. Some parents just will never get off your back! My mom is somewhat the same, and it's quite annoying! She keeps picking on things and leaving negative comments where none is needed, ... (read in full...)
Mom said she would throw me out the house if I ever fell pregnant... and I just found out I AM!!!
Q. I am 15 and pregnant. My boyfriend and I had sex with him and the condom fell off. So I got scared and took a pregnancy test. I turned out to be pregnant. I have not told my mom yet because the last time we talked she told me if I get pregnant I ...
A. 10 December 2010: Tell your mom. You did something bad, now face the consequences, don't run and hide. You know you screwed up, but hiding it from your mom wont do no good, she'll notice you're pregnant in a few months time....
So talk to her and make your decision... (read in full...)
Why do guys like anal sex with women?
Q. Why do guys like anal sex with women? Is it because it feels different or a bit "dirty?"...
A. 9 December 2010: Anal sex doesn't hurt for the woman if it's done right... Just to mention that. If it hurts, you're not doing it right. It's tricky business however, for the more experienced lovers only (the in-experienced will just cause pain). And then in ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like anal sex with women?
Q. Why do guys like anal sex with women? Is it because it feels different or a bit "dirty?"...
A. 9 December 2010: I believe it's even simpler: guys like to stick it into any hole on the female body. If they could they would have poked your ear. Just for fun, and for variation.... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. When my boyfriend does something that upsets me, and I try to talk to him about it, he always tells me that I am "over-reacting," and then doesn't understand why telling me that makes things worse. Am I being too sensitive?...
A. 9 December 2010: I wont be able to know unless you tell us what it is you react to and how? I really think that if he tells you over and over that you are over-sensitive, that you have a huge communication problem. Because if this repeats itself it means he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I ready for this baby?
Q. im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best ...
A. 9 December 2010: No you're not ready for a baby. You're not even ready to have sex. You really have no experience in life, you're not educated, and you say space and money is not a problem? It might be. Your brain isn't even developed to it's fullest, it won't be ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, but never talks about her!
Q. There's this guy I work with I like and recently we've become closer as friends. He seems to really enjoy my company and has confide in me some very personal things. But now I have come to the conclusion that he has a live in girlfriend! I'm 99% ...
A. 9 December 2010: He might not be a player, but I'd think he takes his girlfriend for granted, say that he has a girlfriend. Like you said, a normal person don't just NOT mention their live in girlfriend unless he had some hidden agenda. It's just odd.
What ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
