A
male
age
41-50,
*repid44
writes:hey there. im just very curious to understand the logic behind female thoughts. this woman who i see all the time cause we live very near had a crush on me for months. we only ever said hi. i finnaly asked her out and thats when i found out she was crushing on me for a long time. the first date went ok but once she found out my last name her friends started telling her bad things about me. i have a reputation in town and not the best one. she blew me off on the second date and said she was too tired and had a long day. she has two young kids btw. anyway she said just come over the next night. dont bother calling just come. i was being stupid and got drunk with friends and planned on blowing her off the following night. i changed my mind and showed up a half hour late and drunk to boot. bad move. i probably acted like a retard cause she said lets move on a couple days later. i let two weeks go by then called to apologize and ask for a second chance. she basically agreed but said lets take things very slow. i agreed. she then said i need a few days to think about it. i called a few days later and her attitude changed completely. not in a good way. she said dont call anymore. i have caught her looking at me since but i have also seen her look mad. its been two months since we talked but we still see eachother from afar everyday. what kind of things is she thinking about me now? do you think its possible she still likes me? i think about her everyday and am dying for another shot but since she said dont call i feel i cant do anything. will this woman eventually give me another shot?
View related questions:
crush, drunk, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 Im sorry, I don't really think you will get a second chance, and if you actually do you need to stop getting drunk and listening to whatever your friends tell you. If you have a date with her respect her time and man up and show up. Like Jmtmj said, she her the rumors, but still gave you a chance. You did nothing to impress her or to make sure the rumors are not true. So what did you expect really? I think she probably thought she might give it a second chance, but then just changed her mind. It happens. Maybe you're just not her type, and she having kids she needs to think about she can't really date just about anyone. She has a lot of responsibilities and can't play the cat and mouse game.
A good hint on female logic: we think about the whole picture, not just parts of it. It's not just the rumors she heard, it's not just showing up drunk, it's not just that she has kids... it's tons of things, and the sum of the total amount is what we go by. Not knowing her I can't tell your precisely what put her off of you.
If you really do like her, I suggest you let some more time go by, and then carefully start to talk to her again, all casual, and perhaps ask her out on a date and see what happens.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 That's not female logic, that's just logic in general...
She's clearly had friends tell her about your reputation... and when you showed up drunk and late that did nothing but confirm the stories for her.
She's a single mother with two kids, good chance she's been burned before and is a bit pickier about whom she dates now... and rightly so.
Learn from it, respect her and her wishes by not contacting her again. If she wants to give you another shot down the track, prove to her that you're reputation is not congruent with who you are.
...............................
|
