| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why am I hurting so bad when I was the one that ended it?
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months last thursday. he called me a bitch for the first(and last)time because i didnt call him wenesday. he had a key to my apt and spent 2 nights a week with me and weekends. we never faught much but when he ...
A. 28 October 2010: You definitely can! I think I need to learn a lesson from you and never accept things like that from a guy ever again either. I've putup with too much too many times. Never again! And you know, all the things he told you in messages after you had ... (read in full...)
Why am I hurting so bad when I was the one that ended it?
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months last thursday. he called me a bitch for the first(and last)time because i didnt call him wenesday. he had a key to my apt and spent 2 nights a week with me and weekends. we never faught much but when he ...
A. 28 October 2010: I think you were in your rights to throw him out for disrespecting you. It hurts of course, because you cared for the guy. Yes he did you wrong, but you still need to grieve, because you are not heartless. It hurts no matter who ended it, because ... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents understand that I am in love?
Q. (I'm 17 and my girlfriendf is now 18, we're each other's 1st love) I'm EXTREMELY annoyed with my parents! Why? Simple they keep on saying that S is my "friend" and that I don't love her I only like her -.-, if I liked her why would I give her a HE...
A. 28 October 2010: Stop caring about what they think. You can't make them understand, and why do you bother with them anyway. How you feel isn't dependant on what they think you feel. In your heart you know what is right.
But, anyone can give someone a heart ne... (read in full...)
Do they still have control in this situation?
Q. Hi could someone please help me with this question? If somebody is trying to control you by refusing you something and they probably thought you would chase them for it, then do they have any control over you if you walk away and say ok i will go ...
A. 28 October 2010: Your question is a bit too hypothetical to understand. But Im giving it a shot: no one has control over you until you let them. If you are depending on them that does not mean they have control over you. People can depend on each other without it ... (read in full...)
Its got so bad I really do want to end it, but he is all I have. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half and things have gotten to the point where I don't know what to do with our relationship so I thought I'd reach out here. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 23 when we first started ...
A. 28 October 2010: It is a good thing. You know you shouldn't be with him, and who ended it is not the point. My fear is that he feels empowered by breaking up with you, and will feel that it is his "right" to take you back whenever he pleases. Make sure than you ... (read in full...)
I'm so nervous about my children growing up and having sex too young, then ending up pregnant!
Q. my children are not old enough yet but one day they will be and this subject really makes me nervous. teen pregnancy. iv read a few just in the past few weeks on this site and that was enough for me to want to go get a couple of chastity belts and ...
A. 28 October 2010: I think the best way to go about it is not to scare them away from it. But give them a good up-bringing, where they get to use their own smarts and think for themselves, and learn the difference between good and wrong. Once they are teenagers you ... (read in full...)
I dumped g/f 10 months ago and want her back!
Q. I dumped my girlfriend 10 months ago and everyday I regret it. I treated her bad. Now she's hanging around another guy who treats her like a queen and she acting in a way that she didn't act with me. It torments me to watch anothe guy make her ...
A. 28 October 2010: Let her go. Prove to yourself first that you can do better and be a better boyfriend, it is nothing you need to prove to her. She has already found a man who treats her well and she is happy with. The best thing you can do for yourself is to ... (read in full...)
In the dark mishap has led to much pain!!
Q. Hi. Long story short my bf accidently put it in the wrong hole. It's really sore and completely killed the moment seem as I wasn't expecting it!! (it was pitch black and we were sing a condom in his defence!!) anyway I'd like to ask if there is ...
A. 28 October 2010: You just wait it out and you should feel better in a couple of days. Try some regular pain-killers. Go slower next time. I've been "butt-raped" before myself, even bled, but the pain doesn't really last that long. It's just like a regular cut. You ... (read in full...)
Each time I mess up there seems to be less love
Q. Sometimes on accedent i hurt my gf and i dont mean too. i never want to hurt her. its the stupid small things that i say that hurt. when she gets hurt i get hurt because i didnt mean to do it or say it. i need to know if were right for each other ...
A. 28 October 2010: Communication is the key. What is going on now is a guseeing game, where you have no idea what she will take offence to, and it's a hit or miss. You need to avoid this, you are a young man with close to zero experience with women, and she is not ... (read in full...)
Moving On From One Night Of Horror In A Happy Marriage Of 10 yrs??
Q. I've been married now for almost 10 years. My husband and I have what most people consider a great relationship. We don't argue or stupid things and when we do, the fights don't involve name calling, profanity, or low blows...and we make up ...
A. 27 October 2010: You need to be able to talk to your husband about it. You went through something traumatic, and how are you supposed to deal with it if he makes you hold it all inside? Supressing your feelings will not help you. You need to make him realise that ... (read in full...)
He's proposed, but where is the ring?
Q. My boyfriend proposed to me a few weeks ago...Kind of. Basically, the subject has come up once or twice, in passing. He knew I would say yes if he asked. We were lying in bed, drifting off to sleep, and he started to speak, being very hesitant ...
A. 27 October 2010: Haha, I thought so. Guy's don't like to ask for help. If you want to help boost his self esteem, pick out maybe three or two rings you totally adore (which means you would be thrilled at getting either one of them) and leav eit up to him which one ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy tests have come back negative, but could I still be pregnant?
Q. My periods are 4 days late. I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. I've never missed periods before and they are always on time. I had sex 2 days after my last periods. Could i be pregnant?...
A. 27 October 2010: The right time is never there. All you can do is make it the best time possible. Having an income is important, and a plan. Getting married first would be best, it secures the frames within which a child is born. A proper place to stay is also ... (read in full...)
What date is the first kiss usually initiated on?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im 18. He's 20. We've been dating for about a month. Met up three times during the month, two of them which were dates. He hasnt made any move other than putting his arm around me on the bus journey home, feeding me icecream in the...
A. 27 October 2010: It happens when the moment feels right, and isn't bound by any time limit. Some kiss the first date, others need some more time to get to know the other better and to feel that it is right and wont be embarrassing.
As for dates Im not a "dater" ... (read in full...)
He's proposed, but where is the ring?
Q. My boyfriend proposed to me a few weeks ago...Kind of. Basically, the subject has come up once or twice, in passing. He knew I would say yes if he asked. We were lying in bed, drifting off to sleep, and he started to speak, being very hesitant ...
A. 27 October 2010: Well, at least have a proper conversation about it before you assume he didn't really want to get married. It's a pretty long shot assumption when the guy just asked you two weeks ago. Or wait a little longer. Two weeks really isn't that much if he ... (read in full...)
In the heat of the argument I told him he has a tiny penis! I know I have screwed up, so how do I fix this?
Q. Ok so ive been seeing this guy for a while now almost a year. He told me before that he always thought he had a small penis (he had been drinking, in fact i dont know if he remembers telling me that) but hes not small hes like 6.5 in. Ive been told ...
A. 27 October 2010: You man up and apologize for the lies. Tell him you screwed up, and you are well-aware of your mistake, and that you are truly sorry about what you said, as well as your behaviour.
You know what you did wasn't right, work on pushing back your imp... (read in full...)
He's proposed, but where is the ring?
Q. My boyfriend proposed to me a few weeks ago...Kind of. Basically, the subject has come up once or twice, in passing. He knew I would say yes if he asked. We were lying in bed, drifting off to sleep, and he started to speak, being very hesitant ...
A. 27 October 2010: Is it a tradition in your country/family that the woman gets an engagement ring? Or should both couples wear a ring? Or perhaps none of you at all until you are married?
But to answer your many questions, guys wouldn't take the opportun... (read in full...)
There is no room at the Inn for our best friend!
Q. I have 2 best friends, named Ashley and Mary. Ashley has a job and is going to school, and Mary doesn't have a job and is doing an internship and not getting paid for it, and I have a job and I'm going to school. We have all been talking about mo...
A. 27 October 2010: Wait with accusing her of "mooching" until she actually does so. You should really wait and see if Mary doesn't get it herself by her own smarts. Don't bother lecturing her about something she hasn't done, as it would only be hurtful and completely ... (read in full...)
Is the pill making me emotional or is this normal?
Q. Girls. I am really very emotional and to be honest, a bit of a mess everytime my period arrives. I get so low and cry at pretty much anything that makes me even remotely sad. I am on the pill. Is it the pill or just normal? I can deal with it mys...
A. 27 October 2010: I believe in most cases the pill helps take the edge off of menstruation "overwhelmness". Like k c100 worded so well. Because the menstruation you experience while on the pill isn't a real menstruation. But, how did you act before going on the pill? ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy tests have come back negative, but could I still be pregnant?
Q. My periods are 4 days late. I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. I've never missed periods before and they are always on time. I had sex 2 days after my last periods. Could i be pregnant?...
A. 27 October 2010: I agree 4 days isn't that late. If you go by an entire months you could try another pregnancy test. But in all likelihood there is something else that has caused your period to be delayed. If you continue to miss your periods, or they don't follow ... (read in full...)
Do men really get afraid?
Q. My boss and I have been fooling around for about 6 months, no sex, no kissing, just fondling. We haven't gone further as he is very afraid of my husband finding out and hurting him. We are both married with children. Yet we continue to fool around. ...
A. 27 October 2010: I believe so yes. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend asked who I was attracted to when I first started school, I told her the truth and now she wants a break!
Q. Hi everyone. Thanks for checking my post So here's the situation. Yesterday, I had a VERY rough day. I was talking to my girlfriend, when all of a sudden she asks me this question. "Who do you find attractive when you first entered school?"...
A. 27 October 2010: I agree with the others here, that girl is very silly and immature. And I do feel sorry for you that you waited for her for so long and then she up and leaves you like this after SHE asked a very stupid question.
You could try to talk to her, but... (read in full...)
My LDR guy is coming to visit and he wants to have sex with me, but I have no idea how to do it!
Q. well im from NZ and im having a LDR with a guy from Australia. we've met once when i was in Australia, well he is comeing to visit me in 2 days and he'll be staying in a hotel and he wants to have sex with me. im ready to have sex with him but the ...
A. 27 October 2010: You have to tell your boyfriend you are a virgin, and he should guide you through it. ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy but the sex is terrible because of his small penis!
Q. Ive been with this guy for 8 mnths,my problem is that hes got a small penis.its like 3 inches but i didnt mind until we had sex,i didnt feel anything nothing what so ever.is there something wrong with me?i need help.or is it too small.i really like ...
A. 27 October 2010: His penis is too small for you. Nothing wrong with you. And is penis is well below average. You should try and talk to him about this, because unless the two of you work on this together you will never get to enjoy the sex. There's not much you can ... (read in full...)
Its hard enough being a single mother to one, I don't know if I can do it with two!
Q. okay so im 20 years old and i already have an 1yr old daughter... i just found out today that i am pregnant again ..n the guy that i was with already has a little girl with a another woman n doesnt see her at all he drinks alot n likes to go to the ...
A. 27 October 2010: I do not think you should are what his friends say about you. They are not your friends, and why should you bother trying to impress them for? They are none of your concern, and what they think has no significance whatsoever. What other people think ... (read in full...)
Why do friends say "we'll get together but it never happens?
Q. Maybe you guys can help me figure this one out. I'm always trying to figure people out. Our daughter played on a volleyball team last year. We made friends with one couple and their daughter. We had a great time getting together at voll...
A. 27 October 2010: There could be underlying factors that you don't know about. Best then to leave it alone as they could have perfectly logical, but private, reasons for backing out. And they are just too polite/chicken to be upfront about it, and would like to keep ... (read in full...)
Its hard enough being a single mother to one, I don't know if I can do it with two!
Q. okay so im 20 years old and i already have an 1yr old daughter... i just found out today that i am pregnant again ..n the guy that i was with already has a little girl with a another woman n doesnt see her at all he drinks alot n likes to go to the ...
A. 27 October 2010: You could definitely tell the baby father if you want to. But embrace yourself to hear that he will want you to have an abortion. How do you feel about abortions? And did you not ue protection? He sounds like he has a habit of "accidentally" ... (read in full...)
I like this girl but her friend likes me! What do I do here?
Q. I really like this girl, so much I think I'm starting to fall for her, she likes me too, but the problem is that her friend likes me too. The girl I do like has said she feels bad and stuff cos of her friend and I dont know what to do, should I try ...
A. 26 October 2010: Tell the friend you aren't interested in her, and then be very patient. Once the friend starts to like someone else, approach the matter discretely, by either approaching the friend, or have the girl you like approach her friend and ask how she'd ... (read in full...)
She wants me to cum in her face but I respect her too much to do that...
Q. Ok guys dont give me hell or call me a pansy. My gf asked me to cum in her face while she was giving me a blow job last week, and I totally froze up and couldnt do anything. I have watched it in porn and I dont see it as a turn on at all. Honestly...
A. 26 October 2010: You should just tell her you find it a turn off, but you are willing to do it once for her to experience it and for the fun. But that you don't find it sexual and would not like to do it again.... (read in full...)
He won't stay and he won't let me move on
Q. im currently 26 weeks pregnant and my bd walked out on me so he could concentrate on being a good dad to his 2 children from a previous relationship and our soon to be born son but the problem is his ex is stating that he isnt to have anything to do ...
A. 26 October 2010: Move on from the relationship. Do not physically move. You really are legally bound to let the father of the child get to know the child. If you run away it will be called kidnapping, and you could be charged with it and actually sent to jail, as ... (read in full...)
Did I do something so horrific that is not forgivable, and should I feel this guilty?
Q. My ex and I dated on and off for 2 years, never had a very positive relationship. It was started as her cheating on her boyfriend with me, and she started dating me. I was happy, and thought that she changed. She broke up with me (although I'll ...
A. 26 October 2010: What you did wasn't good, but it wasn't horrific. The only person who can judge you on this is yourself, but you are sentencing yourself a bit hard. You were a single person like you said, but you know that even though you technically didn't do ... (read in full...)
I am ready to say "I love you", and okay with being the first to say it, but should I? Should I just wait?
Q. We have been dating 9 months, 7 of the months have been pretty serious. We are both divorced and he has a four year old little girl who i get along with great and he has equal joint custody of..... I spend the night often but i make the decision to ...
A. 26 October 2010: Say it when it comes naturally, and afterwards tell him that it is ok if he isn't ready to say it yet. He might still need some time, and besides you want to be sure he's not saying he loves you back just because you said it first. If you tell him ... (read in full...)
I can't love ... I think.
Q. A while ago i fell in love with a girl who dumped me to go on a 3 week orgy effectivly, she was my first love. I think i am now over her, expecially after i slept with the girl across my road as soon as i could, just to take my gaze off her, and so ...
A. 25 October 2010: Like dirtball said, you are not having healthy relationships with women. The way you describe it it sounds like you have a "use and toss" mentality about women. You would do better to not date anyone until you are ready, and you are not yet ready ... (read in full...)
My daughter told me she is bisexual and I don't know how to handle this?
Q. My 17 year old daughter has been trying to tell me she is bisexual for the last six months.I have responded with kids today are bicurious and that is what she is doing. Each time she mentioned it I would cut off the conversation, and say I can't ...
A. 25 October 2010: Im not sure where to begin, as you already know that you have done wrong and are aware of your own limits. You know you can't handle the situation well, you know you react to it and don't like it, and you feel awful for the things you have said. ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait and should I send flowers?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend three weeks ago. I did not contact her for a few weeks, but then decided to contact her and ask her to meet up to discuss us. We had a lovely dinner and I asked her if she wanted to try again. When we broke up I asked ...
A. 25 October 2010: You were together for 8 months and you've been broken up for how long now?
No, definitely do not send flowers. If she broke up because you were too needy you need to learn how to get by without her. As in no contact with her. If she contacts... (read in full...)
I have been called a "wasp" - what does that mean?
Q. if someones calls you a wasp what does that mean?...
A. 25 October 2010: In my experience bees are better stalkers than wasps. But yes, mosquitoes are by far better than both.
... (read in full...)
I can't love ... I think.
Q. A while ago i fell in love with a girl who dumped me to go on a 3 week orgy effectivly, she was my first love. I think i am now over her, expecially after i slept with the girl across my road as soon as i could, just to take my gaze off her, and so ...
A. 25 October 2010: You are not a man. You are a boy. And you are not yet fully developed. That is the only reason why you think you can't love. You can love. But love is not something you decide do to, it is something you feel only for people who are very special to ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid playing guitar hero at his house will lead to sex
Q. So I am dating this guy and I want to take it slow with him but we are both very hot for each other, but I still want to take it slow and not have sex, we've been dating for only a week. He invited me to his house to play guitar hero, but I'm afraid ...
A. 25 October 2010: Avoid it completely if you aren't sure if you will be able to say no. Or don't shave your legs or armpits so you wont be comfortable being naked around him, or write something nasty with pen on your belly so you won't want to take your shirt off. Or ... (read in full...)
Should I have gay sex with my best friend he is asking help me!!!!!!!
Q. i'm 15 and i know i'm bi but i've told a few people at my school and they told everyone now i'm getting teased but now that everyone knows a lot more gay and bi people ane coming out but now i keep getting asked by a mate of mine who is gay foe gay ...
A. 25 October 2010: Don't do it. Too many risks, and you don't sound ready at all. If you don't feel 100% comfortable then you shouldn't do it, because you know it wouldn't be quite right. You will have plenty of time later on to experiment, but right now, with this ... (read in full...)
Its got so bad I really do want to end it, but he is all I have. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half and things have gotten to the point where I don't know what to do with our relationship so I thought I'd reach out here. I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 23 when we first started ...
A. 25 October 2010: It is not worth it. While you understand what love is, he doesn't, and this is one sided. You can love him, but do not be with him. Yes he might be all you have in life right now, but if you keep this up that will never change. If you didn't depend ... (read in full...)
Why am I crazy about this average looking guy who I have nothing in common with?
Q. So theres this boy at school, and i have been "In love" with him for about a year now, he's says he's straight, although he does give off some gay vibes ( to most people), anyways, I have NO idea why i am so crazy about him, i mean, we honestly have ...
A. 25 October 2010: Because you are living out a fantasy with him in your head. And as long as you keep spinning your dreams around him he will appear as perfect for you even though you very well know he isn't. In other words this is a self fulfilling prophesy. You ... (read in full...)
I have been called a "wasp" - what does that mean?
Q. if someones calls you a wasp what does that mean?...
A. 25 October 2010: Didn't they also call the female pilots under Second World War "wasps"? As in Women Airforce Service Pilots... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_Airforce_Service_Pilots
Since the OP is keen to call this the same as a stalker I suggest she tell... (read in full...)
Do I just accept my girlfriend's fantasy?
Q. Dear cupid, well I’m with my gf 1 year and 3months; we love each other etc etc… Well a couple of days ago, my gf forgot her cell phone at my place. Well I’m a guy who doesn’t read sms of my gf. But when she forgot her phone the same day she got a ...
A. 25 October 2010: Thats what you need to talk to your girlfriend about. You should read up on threesomes or even search the archives here on dearcupid to find some more information, as repeating it on here would take too long. But there is lot of excellent advice out ... (read in full...)
Do I just accept my girlfriend's fantasy?
Q. Dear cupid, well I’m with my gf 1 year and 3months; we love each other etc etc… Well a couple of days ago, my gf forgot her cell phone at my place. Well I’m a guy who doesn’t read sms of my gf. But when she forgot her phone the same day she got a ...
A. 25 October 2010: Don't just accept it if you don't want it. She obviously is doing this for YOU, so if you don't like it there really isn't a point to it is there?
This is noting to be scared of, you simply tell your girlfriend your thoughts about it. If you don'... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
