| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Do I just accept my girlfriend's fantasy?
Q. Dear cupid, well I’m with my gf 1 year and 3months; we love each other etc etc… Well a couple of days ago, my gf forgot her cell phone at my place. Well I’m a guy who doesn’t read sms of my gf. But when she forgot her phone the same day she got a ...
A. 25 October 2010: Thats what you need to talk to your girlfriend about. You should read up on threesomes or even search the archives here on dearcupid to find some more information, as repeating it on here would take too long. But there is lot of excellent advice out ... (read in full...)
My best friend? or the guy she likes?
Q. Hi to all who read this...well I need some help there this guy I like I found him at my friends party he was sweet,nice, funny and so on but he is a good friend of my friend which is a she and now I want to get to know him better but I found out ...
A. 25 October 2010: Friends over boyfriends. And in this case you don't even know the guy yet, you just like him. You can afford to let him go. At the end of it all he might like someone else and neither of you two, and then you will be without a guy and without a ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that I was attacked? I don't want to upset her while she is away, so can it wait until she returns?
Q. My girlfriend is away on a business trip and i recently got attacked when i was in the city and sustained 27 stiches on my head, she will be back in a weeks time, i am feeling much better, should i keep this incident unknown to her until she ...
A. 25 October 2010: Yes, it will upset her, but I think you should tell her. It is better she knows and can deal with this her way, than you "protecting her" from it. She's a big girl, she should be able to handle it. If you don't tell her you will be giving off a ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to death of his penis!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for a little while now, and everything seems so perfect, he's rubbed me a bit down there, and so have i, but i could never rub him bare! i am scared of his penis for some reason and its so hard, he asked if i wanted to ...
A. 25 October 2010: Yes, touching him WOULD be having sex. Sex is more than just penetration, it is everything sexually. Even kissing can be considered sex. So if you don't feel ready to toss him off (I guess that means handjob?) then you aren't ready, and you only ... (read in full...)
Am I masturbating correctly? Please help!
Q. Hi, I've never used this site before but I just wanted to know if I'm masturbating correctly. I am a virgin and when I masturbate I usually just play with my clit which gives me a really good feeling which I assume is an orgasm. The thing is when ...
A. 25 October 2010: First of all you need to get yourself a mirror and take a look at yourself down there. You do have a hole. Every woman does. My guess is that your lips are so tight together you can't find it. With the help of a mirror you will be able to understand ... (read in full...)
Do I just accept my girlfriend's fantasy?
Q. Dear cupid, well I’m with my gf 1 year and 3months; we love each other etc etc… Well a couple of days ago, my gf forgot her cell phone at my place. Well I’m a guy who doesn’t read sms of my gf. But when she forgot her phone the same day she got a ...
A. 25 October 2010: Don't just accept it if you don't want it. She obviously is doing this for YOU, so if you don't like it there really isn't a point to it is there?
This is noting to be scared of, you simply tell your girlfriend your thoughts about it. If you don'... (read in full...)
I'm scared to death of his penis!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for a little while now, and everything seems so perfect, he's rubbed me a bit down there, and so have i, but i could never rub him bare! i am scared of his penis for some reason and its so hard, he asked if i wanted to ...
A. 25 October 2010: Either you have a real phobia, or this is just your first time seeing a penis. It can be scary at first, and you don't know what to think or feel.
I think the most common reason is that you aren't ready to see his penis yet. Being scared is your ... (read in full...)
What can I do safely in bed with a condom?
Q. I've met a woman who's really crazy about me. She is not that attractive (OK for me though, she' intelligent, interesting and caring), but I am afraid that in order to get me into bed she may be ready to conceal some facts. She lost her head when ...
A. 20 October 2010: Yes, if you don't want to catch herpes you need to make sure the woman you have sex with has been tested and the results were negative.
Condoms can't protect you from everything. There are tons of viruses that spread not only thorugh sexual c... (read in full...)
Why isn't he too busy for her?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he claimed to be "too busy" to handle school, work and a relationship (we're both in college, he's 22) It really came out of nowhere, he was just saying how beautiful I was and what a lucky guy he was to have ...
A. 19 October 2010: My advice is to stop caring about your ex. What he does and whom he dates is up to him, and you will never get any closure. Sometimes guys are just not as great as we thought they were, at least he didn't string you on for longer than a month. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Over a $20.00 tip? Are you serious?
Q. Hello to all. I have a situation and I am looking for some advice. I hope someone can help me out here. My boyfriend and I went out for dinner last night. We hadnt gone out in awhile so I agreed to go even though I had just gotten off a 8 hour shift ...
A. 18 October 2010: This will be rough on you, but your boyfriend is in the rights. It is his money. He spends it as he please. And believe me, leaving a huge tip is wastly different from "helping" your girlfriend out financially. How do you mean help? And how much did ... (read in full...)
What can I do safely in bed with a condom?
Q. I've met a woman who's really crazy about me. She is not that attractive (OK for me though, she' intelligent, interesting and caring), but I am afraid that in order to get me into bed she may be ready to conceal some facts. She lost her head when ...
A. 18 October 2010: Exactly what are you asking for? How to have safe sex with a condom? Thats exactly how you have safe sex. You wear a condom. Other than that and a full latex suit Im afraid there's not much else to do.
Although, if you intent to not have sex with... (read in full...)
29 years old, should I get circumcised?
Q. Hi, I am 29 male living in Cairo, Egypt. I am new to this place. I want to go for circumcision surgery since it is paining me when i penetrate into my wife. It is not heavy but whenever i do, its paining. Its making both of us uncomfortable. Now my ...
A. 18 October 2010: You should talk to a doctor who specializes in general medicine and ask them to refer you to someone? Or look in the phone-listings and call around to figure out who is performing these operations near you?
A circumcision might be the answer. ... (read in full...)
I thought we were in a relationship but obviously she didn't agree!
Q. I met this girl at a mall, and for the first time, i asked a girl for her number, and i succeeded in doing so. We texted each other for a little bit, then, to kinda test her, i didnt text for about 5 days, she texted me back, and she started ...
A. 18 October 2010: You need to ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. At least tell her you want a relationship, you really like her, and ask that she takes the time to get to know you.
Girls love a man who wants to committ. She was simply caught off guard as... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for a man that's still in prison!
Q. I'm 21 years old and the daughter of an Alabama all-men prison's warden. I'm a junior in college studying to be a psychiatrist for prison inmates. For the last two months, I've been working with a 23 year old white male accused of raping an 18 yea...
A. 17 October 2010: The only correct thing to do is to thank him for the compliment, but not make anything else out of it. Take is as the complement it is, and for now leave it at that. What he will do when he is a free man is yet to be seen. And you should also wait ... (read in full...)
He wants to be 'just friends' but it's not enough for me
Q. After 2 years my lover just wants to be friends and im heartbroken.We did have a few fall outs and we always made up but he has had alot on his plate for the last couple of weeks and being stressed out.He said he still loved me but i cant see why he ...
A. 16 October 2010: If he can't give you what you need and it hurts too much to be just friends, then it is best to avoid all contact with him, or at least make minimum contact until you have gotten over him and don't have romantic feelings towards him.
I know it ... (read in full...)
Was there a little shine there maybe?
Q. is he Interested or not?? Just returned from a cruise and a much younger man who I fancied from before was still working on there-several people always book to go back on. he is going on another ship soon but I wont rebook Last time I was on t...
A. 16 October 2010: I think he did take a shine. He obviously tried to stay decent though, as he worked and you were a guest on the cruise. It just wouldnt be appropriate if he made a move on you. So who knows, maybe if you see him off duty one time....... (read in full...)
Is it adultery if we're separated?
Q. My wife and i been marrried for 3 years. I love her with all my heart. We had problems but we got past them. This time shes being serious on being done and wants a divorce. We been seperated for 4 months now and she started seeing her ex boyfriend ...
A. 16 October 2010: I don+t think you shoould try to get her back by trying to say that what she is doing is illegal or adultery. On the opposite, that will just drive her further away. As for the adultery, in my opinion if you believe in marriage you dont get a ... (read in full...)
I keep forgetting to eat...
Q. Lately i have been so busy at work that I have been forgetting to eat. Its not that I don't have time, I could make time, but food just doesn't occur to me. And then people remind me and say, what did you have for dinner, and get annoyed when I s...
A. 15 October 2010: Are you not hungry?
I often forget to eat, and then end up starving, which is unpleasant. I can go for long without food. But after a while it starts to hurt real bad. And I found I don't care for it much, so I started eating.
Eating can be a rea... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be in love with my fathers cousin?
Q. I have recently fallen in love with my dads cousin. Their mothers are sisters. She is10 yrs older than i am.(30) We crazy abt each other and dont really care what the family thinks or says. But is it wrong for us to be in love?...
A. 14 October 2010: I dont think it is wrong... (read in full...)
Whenever I want to have a relationship, it never works out!
Q. Alright I'm pretty sure this is said quite a bit but here goes... I'm an attractive guy I'm told quite a bit all through high school and middle school. I am always called and sent messages on my phone and facebook about my lady friends wanting ...
A. 14 October 2010: Maybe you should take a chance and just pour out your heart and then see if they are still uninterested? Sometimes it can be hard to judge how a person will react before you have done anything.
Give it a shot and see how it works. Maybe they are... (read in full...)
I think my b/f is just waiting for me to dump him
Q. Hi everyone! I checked my bf on facebook, his status says "i am separated and i am looking for dating" and the other one says " if your gf slap you what can you do?tell me then i wil tell you what i did", since we have been together(3 yrs) i never ...
A. 14 October 2010: Yes, it sounds like he doesn't want to take responsibility and want you to break up with him because he is too much of a chicken to do so himself.
You can do much better than this crap he is giving you. Only the disrespectful would play around o... (read in full...)
Complicated and hurtful family mess
Q. I feel really stupid writing about this, but I would like to get other people's takes on this situation. My 29 year old daughter is "re-marrying" her husband of 10 years. I haven't spoken to either of them in over a year because last year I was ...
A. 14 October 2010: I think it is different from person to person. Ideally we should be able to forgive and forget. But like you, I too feel that some things just go too deep. I carry grudges, things that I will never forgive, and I have swore to myself up and down ... (read in full...)
Why would she stand me up after I flew 3,000 miles?
Q. I have been talking to a girl long distance for over a year now. We talk on the phone everyday for over an hour a day. She's mentioned she likes me but she doesn't know what it means. She also says she kind of dating someone. So I flew to go me...
A. 14 October 2010: How far exactly is 3000 miles in this case? I worry about how you emphasize the exact number of miles here... As if you feel you sacrificed something for her and she better come and obey you.. Which I don't like. But I could be wrong and that you ... (read in full...)
It feels as if he is forcing himself to move on because we broke up over something so small and silly.
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years, after a year we had a break because i was being overly argumentative, and we never fought, it was only 2 weeks and ever since then we were better than ever. we wet on several holidays together and spent a lot of ...
A. 13 October 2010: Whatever his reasons were, made up, exaggerated or not, his decision was he wanted out. That is what you need to relate to and understand. He took a decision he thought would be best for him, and he doesn't have to convince you of his reasons to do ... (read in full...)
Am I destined to die alone?
Q. I am a 25 year old architect who has reached utter despair in the quest of finding that special lady to grow old together... This sentence sums up my life quite well however; the reason I am writing is due to the fact that I have not been with ...
A. 13 October 2010: I noticed one obvious "flaw" if you would like to call it that.
You don't really have friends. How can you ever get a loved one, if you can't even manage friendship? Not to bring you down, but most relationships start with getting to know a p... (read in full...)
He's angry and not into sex, but I can't end it
Q. When I first met my boyfriend of two years, he was really sweet and caring, affectionate and loving. But now we’ve been together a while, his horrible temper has emerged, he swears and punches walls etc when things don’t go his way. When we argue ...
A. 13 October 2010: As far as I can read, you don't really want to stay in this relationship, and if it wasn't for the lease you would have ended it already? Then here is my advice:
You should move out. You have a contract but for how long is it, in who's name is ... (read in full...)
My mother is emotionally numb, how can I help her?
Q. Both my parents were teens when they had me (mom was a month from 18, dad had just turned 19 five days before). My dad was the one who wanted to keep me and my mom was very reluctant. She had big plans for college and a career and she had to give ...
A. 13 October 2010: It is a difficult situation. I am in a bit of a similar situation myself actually, so if it helps you are not alone. I will not direct this at your mother, but at both of your parents.
What Im thinking is that your parents are responsi... (read in full...)
Do I really smell ok down there, or is he just saying that?
Q. My bf gives me oral quite a lot. And I always apologise if it's not fresh down there. But he always always "It's fine, don't worry" and continues about his business. Does he really think that or does he just do it not to offend me?...
A. 13 October 2010: Why do you ask him, just clean yourself down there before he goes to action and it won't be an issue either way. Yes, if you smell, he could be polite and not tell you. If you have been together for a longer time he will probably be honest with you ... (read in full...)
How can I help my stressed out boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend takes a very important exam next week and he's so stressed and worried and looks awful. How can I be of some assistance to him? I say comforting things but they just don't work! I feel so powerless watching him like that!...
A. 13 October 2010: I think the best thing then is to leave him alone for now. If you live together do some extra housework without commenting on it, and make sure he eats well! Then plan something nice for when he has taken his exam. ... (read in full...)
DO I really want to have sex because I threatened to leave?
Q. I have been with my partner for three years. The relationship is pretty great but one thing makes it stressful. Sex. He has never really shown an interest in having sex with me. I have NEVER had sex and would very much like to (been waiting for the ...
A. 13 October 2010:
I don't think it is a good idea either. You are trying to squeeze something out of this relationship to comfort yourself and your reasons to stay. I think you are in general unhappy about the relationship, and despite what you may think, having a... (read in full...)
Should I disclose a past prostitute visit to my girlfriend?
Q. I am in a committed relationship now. However, a few years before, I lost my virginity to a prostitute. I did so because I was feeling depressed, things were looking bleak, and thought I wouldn't be in a relationship. I don't have any desire to ...
A. 12 October 2010: I dont think you need to tell her unless there is a particular reason to tell her. If you are the type of person who wants it all out there, and she is too, then sure go ahead. But otherwise it is none of her business really, and will be as relevant ... (read in full...)
My fetishes are getting me into trouble!
Q. I have slight fetishes for stubble, really tan skin, and um...big hands. The trouble is that if I see a guy with one or all, I can't stop gawking! It's so embarassing! My friends make fun of me sometimes because they say I like old cavemen. I can't ...
A. 11 October 2010: I don't think you can classify this as a fetish, as much as it is simply what you are attracted to? But who knows exactly where that line goes. Your likes are not at all uncommon though, just to let you know. I love men with some facial hair too, ... (read in full...)
One girl won't stop causing drama. Can we take legal action?
Q. Hi, Right now there is a girl at my high school who is bullying me and another girl. She is saying mean things about us to other people and making it seem like we are bad people when really we don't want anything to do with her or the situatio...
A. 11 October 2010: Contact school authorities and talk to your parents. School authorities will probably like this to not get to the police, but you can actually report her for harassment if you have the texts and can proove it. However your parents will be more fit ... (read in full...)
B/f wants a break until I prove myself?
Q. god i dunno , im with my boyfriend nearly a year and it was possibly the best thing i ever done . it really was like he's my bestfriend , he was there through everything and equally in turn , i love his friends, social life and family . i love him ...
A. 10 October 2010: Ask him how you can show it. This is likely a problem of miscommunication. You think you show him you love him, but he is looking for other types of signs. Which signs he needs only he knows, and it is vital that you understand and respect what he ... (read in full...)
Amazing guy who ticks all my boxes but he's engaged!
Q. I'm really unsure what to do. I have me an amazing guy who basically ticks eveyone of my boxes but he is engaged. I know I should just cut all ties but I can't help thinking that maybe I should see what happens, or am I just setting myself up for a ...
A. 9 October 2010: Im going to ask you.. if this man ticks all of your boxes, I am fairly confident in my guess that one of those boxes is "faithful". If he leaves his fiancee for you, that means he is not faithful, and that he is also willing to break up a serious ... (read in full...)
Too difficult to have sex, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend and I are having an issue having sex, she's a virgin and she's really petite. So she told me she wanted to have sex, so i start to touch her and i realize shes really tight, i barely fit my middle finger inside her. so when i try to ...
A. 9 October 2010: I must correct you when it comes to "big". If you are thick you are per definition big. Lenght isn't so much an issue for women (unless the man is extraordinary long and it hurts), but girth (thickness) is what matters. Too thin and we don't feel ... (read in full...)
What does this "free agent" text mean?
Q. My husband got a text messages from a female saying," I'm glad you have the same number. free agent?" and another message giving her address. also wrote," free agent?" again. i need to know what does she mean when she saids,"free agent?"...
A. 9 October 2010: I think it means she wants to know if he is single. And if she had to ask twice I suspect he wasn't too clear about it the first time...? What did your husand say when you asked him?... (read in full...)
What do men think when they see this?
Q. I've seen a lot of questions about breats but haven't bumped into something like this: what do you men think when you can see the shape of a womans nipple, like if she's cold and gets hard nipples, or maybe she's not wearing a brassier and u can ...
A. 9 October 2010: Depends on the breasts as well. I think it looks quite sexy for a woman with petite breasts to have no bra on. But if a woman has a fuller bust... I do not want to see much. The "fault" big breasted women often do is show too much. I mean its ... (read in full...)
I want to stop my daughter from making a big mistake!
Q. My 20 yr old daughter is making the biggest mistake of her life, I know that everyone says kids need to learn by their mistakes and I totally agree but not when it can ruin their future. 5 months ago she came home and told us that she was dating a...
A. 9 October 2010: PS. on the bright side, usually men will talk about marriage and children to keep the woman around. This man is recently divorced and has kids already. I don't expect him to want to remarry again so soon, and I certainly don't think he actually ... (read in full...)
I want to stop my daughter from making a big mistake!
Q. My 20 yr old daughter is making the biggest mistake of her life, I know that everyone says kids need to learn by their mistakes and I totally agree but not when it can ruin their future. 5 months ago she came home and told us that she was dating a...
A. 9 October 2010: Tell her you are suspiscious of this man. Tell her she is 19. That alone matters. At 19, ask her, how much does she know about life? Does she know more than you? She'll say no. And then you can say "there you have it, thats why Im telling you now ... (read in full...)
If I keep acting like this I'm going to lose my best friend!
Q. Hi guys, I've posted on here before about this same problem but I'm still having trouble dealing. I fell for my best friend completely after we slept together a couple of times and I just can't seem to get over it and I'm worried I'm going to end...
A. 8 October 2010: I think telling him you need to hang out less was actually a good thing to do. You say of course you realized this was stupid, but I don't think it was stupid at all. Why put yourself through more heartache? Why force yourself to be okay and casual ... (read in full...)
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