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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 24 November 2010: Well if it helps you any I am in the same boat as you! So I really do feel for you! My ex decided to keep my belongings and money and claimed I don't deserve them back after treating him so "horribly" after our breakup. When I actually didn't do ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 19 November 2010: You are right, it's not necessary to tell him now why you aren't comfortable doing things below the belt. Even people who aren't virgins are not comfortable with activities below the belt so soon. It takes time, for all of us. You don't need an ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 18 November 2010: Questioning your history? That sounds unusual to me. If a guy is with you he should be focusing on you, not your history, right? Not sure what you mean about that one.
Yes, especially those who have experience with relationship will know to take ... (read in full...)
My ex won't leave me alone!
Q. I hate my ex, he's so selfish. Ever since we broke up in May, things have been his way. When he wanted to talk, we talked, when he didn't want to talk, we didn't talk. When we broke up I met another guy, who was interested in me and told me he l...
A. 18 November 2010: I forgot to mention something, I thought it was obvious but then remembered that you are still in touch with him... stop it. Cut all contact. If he was able to be friendly with you you could have stayed in touch, but he is not being friendly. He is ... (read in full...)
My ex won't leave me alone!
Q. I hate my ex, he's so selfish. Ever since we broke up in May, things have been his way. When he wanted to talk, we talked, when he didn't want to talk, we didn't talk. When we broke up I met another guy, who was interested in me and told me he l...
A. 18 November 2010: You know you did nothing wrong. Your ex is a bad person, controlling and angry. You are right in your judgment of the situation, and you know he has no right to demand answers from you. And if he chooses to call you a liar, so what. Who cares. Let ... (read in full...)
We don't want to go all the way, so what else is there besides plain old oral sex?
Q. My bf's birthday is coming up and i want to do something special for him... Both of us are virgins...we both agreed to wait for the wedding night; however i wanna get a bit dirty with him without ...u know...losing my virginity...so w...
A. 18 November 2010: Lucky you, sounds like you two are madly in love :) ... (read in full...)
Do I have enough here to say that she likes me back or am I just getting my hopes up?
Q. There's a girl I know, let's call her Miranda. She's the roommate of two friends of mine, and we sometimes go over just to hang out with them. I've known this girl about a month or so. Two weeks ago myself, three other girls and her had a night ...
A. 18 November 2010: I don't think this is enough to say she likes you back. It could be she was flirting, but flirting could be friendly flirting. The best way to find out is if you can get her on her own somehow and see how she behaves around you. If she smiles a lot ... (read in full...)
At what time in a relationship do guys expect these things?
Q. in the beginning of a relationship, i know people say go at a pace your comfortable but im just wanting to know the average amount of time before/ maximum amount of time guys expect 1. girls take their tops off while making out 2. hand jobs 3. bl...
A. 18 November 2010: I never took my top off while making out. If I take my top off thats during sex, or when going to do something erotic, so I don't see the connection between making out and taking the top off. I expect the guy will have to drop his shirt as well ... (read in full...)
My online friend wants more than a friendship!
Q. I've been friends with this guy on the internet for over a year and recently we decided to meet up. I thought it would just be as two mates going out but he ended up telling me he loved me and i kissed him. We've been together for 3 months now, and ...
A. 18 November 2010: Thats good for you, to take it slow. He could be a perfectly nice guy for all I know, it's just a bit worrying to see him dating someone so much younger, speaking from my own point of view as I am also 24. But it could be perfectly fine, and that ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 18 November 2010: Good for you, we have said before you should just go to the police to claim you property back! Best of luck, and hope you can soon put this behind you.... (read in full...)
We don't want to go all the way, so what else is there besides plain old oral sex?
Q. My bf's birthday is coming up and i want to do something special for him... Both of us are virgins...we both agreed to wait for the wedding night; however i wanna get a bit dirty with him without ...u know...losing my virginity...so w...
A. 17 November 2010: I will add though that for you, as a woman, sex means intimacy, romance, and we love that stuff. Sex for men, especially young men, isn't always about love and romance. Not to judge all guys out there, and you do know your guy the best, but a lot of ... (read in full...)
We don't want to go all the way, so what else is there besides plain old oral sex?
Q. My bf's birthday is coming up and i want to do something special for him... Both of us are virgins...we both agreed to wait for the wedding night; however i wanna get a bit dirty with him without ...u know...losing my virginity...so w...
A. 17 November 2010: Why does it have to be sexual? But alright, I suggest you buy some nice lingerie and do a lap dance for him. Would require some work on your part (learning the basics of lap dance), but I am sure he would enjoy it. Then you could feed him chocolate ... (read in full...)
On my father's dating profile he said he was married but with no children!
Q. I HATE my dad. (and i understand the concept of hate being a particularly strong word) He emotionally abuses everyone in the family. Behind closed doors he makes us all think that we're useless but when we're in public he acts like he's the world's ...
A. 17 November 2010: Try deleting his profile or write in that he has children. Then embrace for a huge fight.
Or lay low, tell your siblings, you could always try to tell your mother, but as she has already decided to stay with this man it would probably be best for... (read in full...)
How do I tell my teacher I have depression?
Q. um...hi guys, i am 14, and lately ive been feeling really down. not just down, but extreamly sad. i cry all the time. i cry in class, i cry at home and i even cry my self to sleep. i was looking through this book one day, and i came across an artic...
A. 17 November 2010: I suggest you write her a letter where you tell her how you feel and that you would want help. It doesn't have to be long, but then when you meet her and if you don't know how to say it, you cane give her the letter and she will know what you want ... (read in full...)
One week she's ogling over rings the next week she's moving out!
Q. OK here goes Me n my girlfriend unexpentedly split four weeks ago, she just started crying and said she could not go on like this and left before i had time to even let it sink in. She moved all her stuff out the next day while i was at work and ...
A. 17 November 2010: "She says that she cant come back to our home that was as it is full of bad memories but when i suggest somewhere else she clams up."
Really? You suggest somewhere else when she openly admits your home is full of bad memories for her? Listen, ... (read in full...)
Christmas gift for my older man?
Q. Okay well I'm usually really good at picking out Christmas gifts for people but I can not figure out what to get my boyfriend. Any ideas would be appreciated. He's 38 by the way. Thank you. :)...
A. 17 November 2010: Something practical is always the best though, men aren't the esthetic types, they are much happier with something they can eat, drink, or use. ... (read in full...)
I just don't find her sexually desirable!
Q. So after being horribly abused and used by two different women (I won't go into details, but the end result was me having a complete mental breakdown), I had finally rebuilt myself from the ground up, and I was feeling confident in who I was. After ...
A. 17 November 2010: Wow, I am very happy for you. Unfortunately most people don't tolerate talking about these things and such a conversation only end up in deep hurt and anguish. You are fortunate to be with someone whom you can talk this openly with, and who actually ... (read in full...)
Why do women get freaky on guys they don't love, but not with guys they do?
Q. I found out in cleaning out some old files on a unused computer that my GF had a much wilder and mind blowing sex life with her ex before me than she previously described. This mate was mainly a fuck buddy, but they were friends for a few years ...
A. 17 November 2010: This doesn't go for all women, to clarify that. SOME women work like this. Tons of women are "freaky" with all their guys, or never go all the way out with anyone at all.
The case with your woman however I suspect is quite simple and not a big my... (read in full...)
I saw something I shouldn't have seen!
Q. I saw my mate's boyfriend, kissing another one of my friends in the park the other day. They both saw me but carried on anyway, a few hours later they knocked on my door and begged me not to tell my mate. I'm confused, as i don't want to be the g...
A. 17 November 2010: I just want to add in that if you do end up telling her chances are great she will at first be upset with you. The classic "shooting the messenger". However, as reality dawns upon her she will be grateful you came forth. A true friendship can stand ... (read in full...)
We've already played out his fantasy but he wants another threesome!
Q. My boyfriend wants to have a threesome with another girl.The thing is we have already done this once . I like girls too but i hated seeing him penetrate this other woman. He says if I dont want to , theres no fun in it for him, but I worry he isnt ...
A. 17 November 2010: Its possible to have loads of fun with a threesome without the guy penetrating the other woman. It's not like YOU get to penetrate the other woman, so you would both have an equal amount of fun. He sounds like he cares tons more about his own ... (read in full...)
Will cum on my stomach wash to my vagina in the shower?
Q. Alright, so yesterday I was giving my boyfriend a hand job, when he ejaculated on my stomach. I was wearing underwear and pajama pants, and wiped it off with some toilet paper ( and the cardboard roll part because the paper was gone). Some semen got ...
A. 17 November 2010: Just wanted to add in that semen that is dry is "dead", even if rubbed into the vagina it would not make you pregnant. Copied in from netdoctor.co.uk:
Seminal fluid dries out very quickly when it's outside the body - and once it's dried, the sper... (read in full...)
My online friend wants more than a friendship!
Q. I've been friends with this guy on the internet for over a year and recently we decided to meet up. I thought it would just be as two mates going out but he ended up telling me he loved me and i kissed him. We've been together for 3 months now, and ...
A. 17 November 2010: Dear you: do not have sex with him until you are 18. He is too old for you at this moment, you are just too young. At 18 it will be a bit better, you will have matured more, and the age difference wont be as massive. I am also worried about your ... (read in full...)
I saw something I shouldn't have seen!
Q. I saw my mate's boyfriend, kissing another one of my friends in the park the other day. They both saw me but carried on anyway, a few hours later they knocked on my door and begged me not to tell my mate. I'm confused, as i don't want to be the g...
A. 17 November 2010: You would not be the one who break up a 3 year long relationship. The cheating and lying boyfriend is the one who has ended the relationship, due to his CHEATING. It's not your fault that he does what he does.
Tell the guy you will give him a we... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off to see the guy you fancy chewing tobacco?
Q. Just some quick question for the girls. If you saw a guy that you found attractive would it turn you off if you saw him chewing tobacco? If he asked you out would you say no or see him differently because of this? And yes i am fully aware of the ...
A. 17 November 2010: Alright, I will change my answer to this. If you are a perfect match for me in every other way, that you are a great person that make me happy, share the same interests, fulfill me in every way, our sex life is amazing, you are financially stable ... (read in full...)
After ending a two year relationship she's with another guy in less than a week!
Q. After breaking up with me last Thursday, she's already posting pictures online of her with another guy. How do I get over this? This past week has been tough on me, but I've been able to move on fairly well through the support of my friends and f...
A. 17 November 2010: How do you even know if thats a new boyfriend or not. 95% chance she put that picture up just to torment you. Don't check out her facebook (or whatever it is where she puts out pictures), better yet, just block her/delete her altogether. Then you ... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off to see the guy you fancy chewing tobacco?
Q. Just some quick question for the girls. If you saw a guy that you found attractive would it turn you off if you saw him chewing tobacco? If he asked you out would you say no or see him differently because of this? And yes i am fully aware of the ...
A. 17 November 2010: Yes, it is a turn off. I refuse to date men who do either or with tobacco. No offense, really, you are a free being and allowed to do what you want. But for me that is a turn-off. If it only happens once in a while, I guess I could close my eyes to ... (read in full...)
He says he didnt cheat, it was just flirting!
Q. I'm a single mom, I'm 23 and I've been dating this guy that I've known (not intimately) for 2 years. We've been dating for a month. He said that he loved me first and he's told my daughter that he loves her. I believe that he's truly genuine and ...
A. 17 November 2010: I don't know if he was cheating or not, but I do think he has a drinking problem. Maybe he doesn't drink often, but he surely doesn't take his drinks well. He calls you in the middle of the night, repeatedly, only to.. I don't know, BRAG about how ... (read in full...)
I hate being like this!
Q. Since i was born I've been surrounded by mostly women. My dad was around but he was absolutely useless that my mum just kicked him out when i was about 10. He didn't run away with another woman, he was kicked out. That's how pathetic he was. Anyway ...
A. 17 November 2010: I suggest you take your time to develop as a human, and look away from this issues for now. At this time in your life you do not need to have a girlfriend, or settle down with a family (you actually never need too, but society expects it after some ... (read in full...)
Christmas gift for my older man?
Q. Okay well I'm usually really good at picking out Christmas gifts for people but I can not figure out what to get my boyfriend. Any ideas would be appreciated. He's 38 by the way. Thank you. :)...
A. 17 November 2010: - that way he can be a handyman around the house.... (read in full...)
Christmas gift for my older man?
Q. Okay well I'm usually really good at picking out Christmas gifts for people but I can not figure out what to get my boyfriend. Any ideas would be appreciated. He's 38 by the way. Thank you. :)...
A. 17 November 2010: Tools. ... (read in full...)
Is this normal?
Q. I was just wondering if its normal to have to spread your labia before intercourse? Sometimes if I am not very moist I will have to seperate my labia for my boyfriend and I to have intercourse. I would appreciate any answers. Thankyou!...
A. 17 November 2010: Normal. Depends on every woman, some women don't do it, some do it occasionally. Some have to do it otherwise it would be uncomfortable. Everything is normal. It is particularly common if you are not as moist as you describe. It's plain physics, how ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mum I am dating a man 35 years older than me?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over a year with a man who is 35 years older than me. We have a special connection and love spending time together although it tends to be once a week as we both have very busy demanding jobs. I am 24 years old ...
A. 17 November 2010: Why tell your mom then? Don't tell her. You haven't met his kids yet, and he doesn't need to meet your mother yet, you are not engaged or planning to be married, you are not moving in with him, and honestly you see him only once a week yourself. Why ... (read in full...)
Do single men really think all women want to trap them with a baby?
Q. ok, so about 6 weeks ago I fooled around with a guy 10 years younger than me. It was just for fun and we did not have sex. I just needed a little something to make me feel alive since my life has been chaos and tragedy since March (husband killed ...
A. 17 November 2010: Im not sure, but I think in general men aren't that smart when it comes to using protection. And this man had a wake-up call the following day where it dawned on him that he didn't care about protection and that he might have gotten you pregnant and ... (read in full...)
I've tried dumping him twice but he doesn't get the memo!
Q. hi i need to break up with my boyfriend, because he is controling and overbearing. the proplem is i dont know how i tried too twice already and it went knowhere we got back together. so how should i put it to him, he always would just get mad and ...
A. 17 November 2010: Or, you can pack your bags and leave and not answer his phone and not do anything at all to contact him again. You have already told him twice you want out. He'll understand you were serious when you suddenly disappear. It might not be "nice", but ... (read in full...)
I just don't find her sexually desirable!
Q. So after being horribly abused and used by two different women (I won't go into details, but the end result was me having a complete mental breakdown), I had finally rebuilt myself from the ground up, and I was feeling confident in who I was. After ...
A. 17 November 2010: To repetitive-edge: you can't force yourself to be physically attracted to someone. Accepting them for who they are is about ignoring that annoying habit they have, or let them do things you wish they didn't, or not needing them to be perfect, but ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend prefer porn over his hot girlfriend?
Q. Okay, My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and been living together for about a year. At first we had a really good sexual relationship and had sex often. Now we have sex like once a month, but all other aspects of the relationship ...
A. 16 November 2010: Would you like to have more sex? Do you feel the porn is keeping him from having sex with you? Have you talked about this? There could be several reasons for his behaviour. One reason could be he just has a low sex drive, but enjoys masturbating. ... (read in full...)
Do red-headed men dig dark skinned women?
Q. i like this red-headed guy but i don't know if he would like me because i am dark complected.so my question is do red headed guys like dark complected girls?...
A. 16 November 2010: I somehow don't think thats up to genetics? The closes I can come to answering this is that people typically look for others with similar facial features, or similar features to their parent of opposite sex. They are also drawn towards someone who ... (read in full...)
I've tried dumping him twice but he doesn't get the memo!
Q. hi i need to break up with my boyfriend, because he is controling and overbearing. the proplem is i dont know how i tried too twice already and it went knowhere we got back together. so how should i put it to him, he always would just get mad and ...
A. 16 November 2010: You gather your belongings from his place and then call him one day and tell him, or text him, and break up. Then you turn your phone off after the message has been delivered. Do not answer his calls, do not reply to any texts, e-mails etc. And if ... (read in full...)
I just don't find her sexually desirable!
Q. So after being horribly abused and used by two different women (I won't go into details, but the end result was me having a complete mental breakdown), I had finally rebuilt myself from the ground up, and I was feeling confident in who I was. After ...
A. 16 November 2010: Just break up with her already. What exactly do you think you are doing here, making her happy? Is this making yourself happy? Whats the purpose of this charade and lies? Just forget about a relationship with her, you are constantly lying to her ... (read in full...)
How do you know when love is not enough?
Q. How do you know when love is not enough any more? When you see that love alone can not hold your relationship together?...
A. 16 November 2010: You see it when despite your love for each other you fight near everyday and are unhappy in the relationship, don't understand each other, and would have already left long time ago if it wasn't for love. Thats when love is not enough, because in ... (read in full...)
What can I do besides having sex with my boyfriend
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now and we makeout all the time, recently he tried to finger me and I stoped him. I am virgin and plan to stay one until I get married, but I just felt like fingering is losing your vigintiy. I want to ...
A. 16 November 2010: Don't be too naive either. Trust can easily be misused and given to the wrong person. Take your time to really get to know him before you trust him. ... (read in full...)
Is there anyone that sees what they believe are spirits within people like I do?
Q. I'm a 50 year-old man that's been diagnosed with mental illness. I don't know if I'm sick or what I have, if what I see and experience is real or what! I often see what I believe are spirits within people so I guess they're hallucinations. I tend ...
A. 15 November 2010: Hard to say without sounding too crazy myself. I believe in spirits just like I believe in God and ghosts and that humans have a soul. A soul is the spirit of a person, and angels in a sense are spirits too. Religion contains numerous stories of ... (read in full...)
What can I do besides having sex with my boyfriend
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month now and we makeout all the time, recently he tried to finger me and I stoped him. I am virgin and plan to stay one until I get married, but I just felt like fingering is losing your vigintiy. I want to ...
A. 14 November 2010: Virginity is really about having intercourse with a man. However, it is a tricky subject, because even if a woman has never had intercourse, but everything else, I wouldn't really call her innocent or particularly virgin-like.
I think if you shou... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: ps. about feeling inadequate about the new bf earning more than you.. well that doesn't mean a thing. Imagine he doesn't know what he's doing in bed, and her getting all frustrated because you were so much better. Should put a smile on your face.... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: Saw your update after I posted. Here's my answer on how to be the bigger guy. Just walk away. And enjoy your life. Don't bother with her again, and don't send her any notes or show her any attention. Let her be and just walk away. There's no ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: Did you contact the police to get your things back?
Write down exactly what you think that belongs to you thats is still at her apartment. Also try and add a cost to it, or if they have affectional value write that.
Are the things on the li... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
