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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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She's totally ignoring the fact that I sent her three messages!
Q. I'd like some advice please regarding a potential new relationship. A new girl started at work a few months ago. We get on really well, and have been getting to know each other. I recently suggested going out and we arranged it for the day afte...
A. 22 December 2010: There's a simple solution: ask her if she got the texts. If it bothers you this much. You could say "by the way, I hope you weren't feeling too bad at the hospitals, I sent you a couple of texts to check in on you." If you word it right you should ... (read in full...)
He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal.
Q. Hello I have been married for 9 years, five of those years have been spent begging, crying, bargaining, conjoling my husbanc into making love to me. He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal. the only way he ...
A. 22 December 2010: Just to make it clear I am not supporting cheating, but if there is a mutual understanding then it's no one else's business how you arrange things in your marriage. ... (read in full...)
Defended my special needs child from attacker, who's now vilifying me. What can I do?
Q. Anyways i am a parent who went on vacation with my husband's family. Not a good idea, it turns out that I ending up reprimanding, my husband's family member for physically attacking my child. Well that wasn't a good idea as the relative, got so ...
A. 21 December 2010: You were not in the wrong. This individual sounds manipulating, and used to getting his way. You were possibly the first one in ages who dares to stand up to him, and by how he lashes out and attacks you full scale I dare say he was pretty darn ... (read in full...)
Does "love at first sight" really exist?
Q. Is there really such a thing as "love at first sight" or should it be "attraction at first sight" - I think the first has happened to me. ...
A. 21 December 2010: It happens. Or can happen I guess, attraction that is based on mental attraction above physical attraction can easily be linked to the feeling of love, and attraction is a part of the "love" feeling as well, so in a sense those two things can be the ... (read in full...)
He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal.
Q. Hello I have been married for 9 years, five of those years have been spent begging, crying, bargaining, conjoling my husbanc into making love to me. He does not allow me to initiate sex, he tells me he is not a peforming animal. the only way he ...
A. 21 December 2010: "He does not allow me to initiate sex"
This man is not your superior. He can not tell you what you are "allowed" to or not. Do not simply accept this, it is controlling behaviour and it sounds like he uses sex as a means to control you and make... (read in full...)
Yikes... Sex before marriage???
Q. hiii, im 20 years old in a committed 1 year relationship. whilst being a christian and going to church twice a sunday and leading as good a christian life as i can (i drink every so often, dont do drugs or smoke etc) i do however have sex with my...
A. 21 December 2010: Blowjobs are also sex. Just thought I'd shoot that in, if you actually do wish to stop having sex there will be no blowjobs either. Stopping sex can cost you your relationship, but your personal beliefs are held higher than the wishes of any other ... (read in full...)
Is he referring to oral sex?
Q. Hi, This is a question for the guys. If a guy says to a woman he wants to touch and lick you until you scream.Is he referring to oral sex? ...
A. 21 December 2010: Yeah I think so. It's not a particularly good hook-up line though.... (read in full...)
Can my boyfriend's laziness be cured?
Q. I'm just going to jump into this because I hate long intros. My boyfriend of 2 years constantly forgets to pick up after himself. He leaves clothes all over the floor, trash everywhere, always forgets to do the few chores I've put him in charge of, ...
A. 21 December 2010: What about not living with him until he can show he has improved himself? Then you won't have to deal with anyones mess but your own. Or have separate rooms and throw all his trash into his room.
Can you see your future doing his chores all the ... (read in full...)
He wants to stop having sex until we get married! I don't know how to feel about this.....
Q. Ok my fiance went totally religious on me and were on not going to have Sex anymore untill we get married, let me make it clear that we are engaged with no set date at all :-( this past sunday i went to church with him for the first time and we ...
A. 21 December 2010: There's no answer to how you should feel. You tell us how you feel. What are your thoughts about this, have you and your boyfriend talked about this? Are you setting the date then? It sounds like he wants to be married soon since he doesn't want sex ... (read in full...)
Can you ever be friends with a member of the opposite sex?
Q. Hey, this isn't really a problem I was just wondering what everyone thinks on whether guys and girls can ever just be friends? My friends think one will always find the other sexually attractive but is this true? I've had lots of guy friends for ...
A. 21 December 2010: Guys and girls can be friends I believe. But not all guys and girls. I for one have a hard time being friends with men without at some point having had any romantic/sexual attraction towards them. Once that "phase" I guess you could call it has ... (read in full...)
Why am I obsessed with a woman I don't want?
Q. Why am I insanely obsessed 24-7 with a woman I don't want?...
A. 21 December 2010: Do you have too much time on your hands? Or are you possibly in love and trying to deny it to yourself? Are you constantly forced to see her?
There could be a million reasons, but obviously if you actually weren't interested in her then you woul... (read in full...)
Why did he get so moody when I invited my friend over too?
Q. ok so my parents went away for the weekend and my boyfriend was going to stay over without my parents knowing, anyway i asked my best friend to stay over as well but when my boyfriend came round and she was here he got all moody. then when i told ...
A. 21 December 2010: You should have told him that she was coming too... He clearly thought that you and him would be alone and was looking forward to spending time alone with you! Im not suggesting he had suspicious thoughts at all, I think he merely thought it'd just ... (read in full...)
He wants to have a kid but I'm definitely NOT ready for it! Help!
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and he asked me if I would have a kid with him. We are both 15 and I just laughed it off as if he was joking and when he didn't mention it for the rest of the night I thought it was a joke. The next ...
A. 21 December 2010: Don't stay with him. He should not make threats like that, and if he forces himself onto you you it is rape. In either case your boyfriend has THREATENED you! I think you should take that very seriously. He is not a good or smart boy when he not ... (read in full...)
Yikes... Sex before marriage???
Q. hiii, im 20 years old in a committed 1 year relationship. whilst being a christian and going to church twice a sunday and leading as good a christian life as i can (i drink every so often, dont do drugs or smoke etc) i do however have sex with my...
A. 21 December 2010: If you feel this is going against your beliefs why don't you stop having sex instead of continuing to do what you believe to be a sin? At least stop until you have thought about this and made your decision. With sex always comes a risk of pregnancy, ... (read in full...)
My relationships go nowhere, any secrets to finding a good guy??
Q. I am a 20 year old female that can not find the right guy for anything. i have dated soo many guys and only have had 2 serious relationships that both lasted 2 years. both of those guys left me heartbroken. they both left out of nowhere. this one ...
A. 21 December 2010: I will add in something that made me feel happy to be single. I have a friend who just reached 21 and already has two kids with a guy she's been together with since she was 17. I was so jealous of her when she got pregnant, and even more so when ... (read in full...)
My relationships go nowhere, any secrets to finding a good guy??
Q. I am a 20 year old female that can not find the right guy for anything. i have dated soo many guys and only have had 2 serious relationships that both lasted 2 years. both of those guys left me heartbroken. they both left out of nowhere. this one ...
A. 20 December 2010: This is a clear cut case of you not knowing any other singles, hence you stress out because everyone else live a certain way and you don't want to be left out. If every girlfriend of mine were engaged, married, or had kids, I'd probably feel the ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him because of his mother?
Q. I realised that my boyfriend mother look down on me as I studied Chinese language as my major degree while my boyfriend is a engineer. She thinks that I won't get a good job as a Chinese graduate. However, I don't think so I don't want to be a ...
A. 20 December 2010: If you leave him don't leave him because of his mother. It is not the mother you are in a relationship with. If you marry this man, and have children with him, that will be your family, and she will be your mother-in-law, but not your immediate ... (read in full...)
If I tell her, i'd break her heart.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out close to a year now. When i first met her she seemed to be wonderful and so motivated! Always on top of things and busy etc. Well she made me so happy and basically made my head spin just being around her. I ...
A. 20 December 2010: To be honest I don't think this has much to do with whether you hung out before you got together or not. Relationships can foster friendship, it doesn't have to be friendship before relationship, and different relationships develop differently. So ... (read in full...)
Why does he act and lie like this?
Q. Hi :) Here to ask for advice about my boyfriend. We've been together for about a year, but there are so many problems. I believe he is overall a caring guy but we go through patches where he is nothing but unfair to me. A few examples of t...
A. 19 December 2010: There's a big difference between telling a random person a white lie to cover up an intimate or embarrassing situation, and telling your girlfriend of one year white lies all the time. In any serious relationship you are honest and show your trust ... (read in full...)
Flatulence from my privates? At any time. I think this is so weird. Am I normal?
Q. So I read a few things on here how girls sometime "fart" from their vaginas. It's not really farting it's like the air thing people have said. So I tested to see if I have it, and I do. I was laying on my back and lifted my legs up closer to my ...
A. 19 December 2010: Then your guy needs to be lectured on the female anatomy. It's not weird. If you're too embarrassed about it then I guess don't have sex or do those moves while a boy is in the room.... (read in full...)
Are girls hypocrites???
Q. Why do women/girls criticize guys when they are just as bad as us? For example: "Guys only care about looks" "all guys are dogs" etc....
A. 19 December 2010: To the anon who started with this: "Its called the Double standard. Why? well look at this."
Oh heebeezeeses. Thats all I've got to say to that load.... (read in full...)
It feels like hell when he can't even spare a thought for me!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. It was my birthday 2 months ago, and he didnt get me any present. Money is not an issue as he spends exuberantly on himself. i told him that it hurt me that i didnt receive anything,that he did ...
A. 18 December 2010: He's not a good man. This says it all: "i told him that it hurt me that i didnt receive anything,that he did not even try. he got angry"
You got hurt. And he gets mad because you got hurt by his insensitiveness and lack of care for you. It refle... (read in full...)
Going together 2 years now... how often would you have sex?
Q. What is the average amount of times per week to have sex aged 22 and 25 after being together for two years?as I am paranoid my boyfriend does not want it very often, he says I am worrying for no reason. I think he doesn't fancy me any more, he says ...
A. 18 December 2010: If your sex life isn't to your satisfaction then you and your boyfriend need to work on keeping both of you content. No matter what the "norm" is in his head. Who cares how often others have sex, what matters is that YOU want more sex!
Perso... (read in full...)
Why does he act and lie like this?
Q. Hi :) Here to ask for advice about my boyfriend. We've been together for about a year, but there are so many problems. I believe he is overall a caring guy but we go through patches where he is nothing but unfair to me. A few examples of t...
A. 18 December 2010: No he wont change. And you know why? Because you accept this behaviour from him. The only way he can ever change is once you dump him, and the next girl dumps him over his lying, and then he'll see that no girl with respect for herself will put up ... (read in full...)
Virgins getting erections????
Q. ok so my friend's worried because her boyfriend says he's not a virgin but she thinks he's lying because he always has a erection like when they hug kiss or anything he always gets a erection and she thinks that if he's not a virgin he would be able ...
A. 18 December 2010: Your friend is wrong. Some guys can control it easier than others I suppose, but I'd take it as a complement to her that he's so attracted to her it happens a lot. Him getting an erection or not has absolutely nothing to do with anything other than ... (read in full...)
Are girls hypocrites???
Q. Why do women/girls criticize guys when they are just as bad as us? For example: "Guys only care about looks" "all guys are dogs" etc....
A. 18 December 2010: Some girls do, some don't, just like some guys do and some don't. The important thing here is to never generalize. There's no such thing as "all women" or "all men". We're all individuals, no two the same. ... (read in full...)
Flatulence from my privates? At any time. I think this is so weird. Am I normal?
Q. So I read a few things on here how girls sometime "fart" from their vaginas. It's not really farting it's like the air thing people have said. So I tested to see if I have it, and I do. I was laying on my back and lifted my legs up closer to my ...
A. 18 December 2010: It is normal, it happens a lot during sex often because thats when you move your legs like that... It has little to do with anything else. So naturally when you move your legs like that, like you said you "tested" to see if you "have it", then it ... (read in full...)
Friend of a friend fancies me, but I don't feel the same! How do I tell my friend I don't like him?
Q. I'm not sure how to tell my friend that i'm not interested in her male friend. Her friend fancies me. I have met up with him twice, and it was only for a couple of hours each time. Both times i saw him, he got hold of me and gave me a kiss on the ...
A. 17 December 2010: Intensity is unattractive yes. Just be polite, but don't sugar coat it. Write him back in an e-mail that while you can still be friends you are not interested in anything else, and you do not want to give him your phone number, nor meet up. Just cut ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 17 December 2010: I think that sounds like a good idea. Im not saying you wont ever get anal sex, but anal sex is just jumping a bit ahead if you know what I mean. It is a type of extreme sport in sex, where you and your girlfriend are barely able to hike up a ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 17 December 2010: I didn't ask if you go down on her thinking you are selfish dear. I was more thinking up the lines of insecure women will hardly let a man go down on them, and will have problems with reaching climax. If you can get her to do that then you have ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 16 December 2010: This is a classic case about insecurity around sex. I want to add in that after orgasm you will feel very relaxed and calm, and it is easy to fall asleep. This is just normal and natural, she's not falling asleep on you on purpose, it's just how the ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 16 December 2010: Forget about the anal sex. The only reason you want that now is because she's told you she doesn't want it. Imagine if she was laying like a dead beat while you do her anal, it'd be just as boring and unexciting as vaginal sex. So I do not think ... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 16 December 2010: Ask D... (read in full...)
Would I become a wannabe???
Q. One of my friends in school has a really cute style, but I'm afraid that if I start dressing like her, I will become a wannabe. Do you think it would be a bad thing if I want to dress like her???...
A. 16 December 2010: Just avoid copying her exactly, and if she asks about it you can say that you thought her style was so nice it inspired you to do something similar. She should take it as a complement. Depending on what type of people your friends are this could ... (read in full...)
If you chose to recreate yourself as a 24 year old guy....
Q. Hello women... If you have high self esteem and chose to recreate yourself as a 24 year old guy, what are all the qualities, looks, and attitudes you would choose to have that trigger a strong gut level (or should I say groin level) desire in women? ...
A. 16 December 2010: To trigger women? Well.. If I was a male, and Im not making this up on the go... For years I have had fantasies about being a man, and I've pretended to be one online as well, to act out that "other half" of a man I'd desire to be. So I will base ... (read in full...)
I'm not a virgin and that bothers him, we are starting to get 'physical' but I'm concerned about the arguments.
Q. I have been with my boy friend for a year we are getting physical now but there is a problem. I am not a virgin and he is, and that bothers him so we always get in arguements for that reason. What should i do if we fight alot but still want to get ...
A. 16 December 2010: Why is it a problem that you are not a virgin? Could it be he's not a man you should be with if this is constantly argued about, as you wont ever grow back into being a virgin, so the whole debate is pointless? Why does he argue about this? Does he ... (read in full...)
Could anyone help me out on a good colour that suits blonde/brown hair please?
Q. This is just a quick question really, I was just wondering on any one's opinion really.. I have Blonde and brown hair (Dark brown my natural hair on bottom, and blonde on top) I don't like to be a person that blends in with the crowd, i like to...
A. 16 December 2010: If you want to stand out and you already are, wouldn't the point of this be to stand out even more? If your point was to get beautiful hair in the eyes of everyone else you wouldn't be having it in two shades that look so unnatural to begin with. So ... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 16 December 2010: Last advice, find a beta reader. They will be able to help you with this as well.... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 16 December 2010: Well, it's not a good place to ask for bad advice you know. And breaking up a couple to get with your ex is a bad idea so I don't think anyone of us are good at giving advice that would just not be good advice... Thats really all there is to it.
... (read in full...)
I really like her but she's dating another guy
Q. Ok the girl I like has a boyfriend. They have broken up and got back together a couple of times. When they are together tough I feel like she is always anoied with him. They are currently together at the moment. I am friends with her right now but I ...
A. 15 December 2010: I suggest you just stay friends with her for now, maybe flirt a little but not overly much. Respect that she has a boyfriend and she'll think of you as a good honest boy. Then next time they split up you could try to hang out with her more. Once you ... (read in full...)
What kind of things would a desperate person do to break up a relationship short of breaking the law?
Q. In a fictional setting of course, let's say you wanted your ex back so badly that it drove you to act in ways you never would normally. How would you sabotage his/her current relationship so you could have a chance of reuniting? What kind of things ...
A. 15 December 2010: Sorry I don't have any good stories for you here, and thats purely because if you actually wanted an ex back, breaking up their current relationship wouldn't do you any good at all actually. It'd actually backfire at you pretty badly! Here's why:
Y... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 13 December 2010: Guys can swing like that yes, if you give them the wrong signals and don't play it smooth yourself. Its all about reading the other person. Or perhaps he tried to flirt but didn't get the response he wanted, or he changed his mind after seeing how ... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused... why the sudden change?
Q. I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things. so I don't know this guy (we'll call him ...
A. 13 December 2010: I think its way overdue that you ask him out on a date then. Or are you going to sit around and analyze his behaviour while waiting for him to make a move on you?
Gather up some courage and ask him out. Plain and simple. Who knows why he does wha... (read in full...)
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