| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Can someone contract STDs or mouth infection through oral sex?
Q. Hi I have never tried any form of oral sex. I have a fantasy about it but i'm scared i might get any form of STD or infection of the mouth. Is it possible to contract the above mentioned diseases through oral sex? Also should i ignore the natur...
A. 7 March 2011: We call it "the mouse" :)... (read in full...)
Can someone contract STDs or mouth infection through oral sex?
Q. Hi I have never tried any form of oral sex. I have a fantasy about it but i'm scared i might get any form of STD or infection of the mouth. Is it possible to contract the above mentioned diseases through oral sex? Also should i ignore the natur...
A. 7 March 2011: The natural smell of the "beaver" is there no matter what. It's what men find intoxicating and delishious. If you don't like it you don't like it, and then there's not much you can do. But most like it. I take for granted that a girl will be ... (read in full...)
Husband has become upset with my past and searches the internet for past boyfriends
Q. Hi, My husband was a virgin when we met although I didn't know at the time as because he was 25 at the time was embarrased and told me he had slept with one other woman I had two kids and a few previous relationships. later in the relationship we ...
A. 7 March 2011: You have not done anything wrong. Do not let him convince you of this, or let this idea settle in your mind. What your husband is going through is a problem he has with himself, not because of anything you did or didn't do. Remember that. How does ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 7 March 2011: Truelover, do not take it personal, I was saying that the view which was described was that of such things, not necessarily only from you. You did however write that one can not transition from one life style to another, thus meaning that your past ... (read in full...)
If a guy is using you, would he actually add you on facebook?
Q. Ok,if this helps,we're both 23 and he's a uni student.I'm not sure it will but hey...Anyway,my question is if a guy is using you would he actually add you on facebook-I mean,what if his other girls are on his facebok too and I contacted one of ...
A. 6 March 2011: It's not an indicator of either. He could be using you, then again he could be sincere about you... adding you to facebook doesn't bear any significance. If you have doubts about him I don't think you should be with him in either case. Why enter a ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has started sharing her past with me and I wish she wouldn't!
Q. Basically I'm insanely jealous about my girlfriend's past sex life. She is my first, and she has had 4 before me. Now, at first I didn't care since I didn't know who those people were and I didn't know any details. I was happy with it staying like ...
A. 6 March 2011: Have you told her it makes you highly uncomfrotable that she tells you these things? Not to mention it's actually quite rude to tell such information about your sexual past to a current partner. It's generally something you don't want to hear! While ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always go for girls who treat them like trash?
Q. Hi I have a question, why guys never respect the girls who are nice to them and always go after the girls who treat them like trash....
A. 6 March 2011: They don't. Not more than girls go for guys who treat them like trash. Some people don't know whats in their best interestest, some are stubborn and too blindly in love to see. But at the same time you have plenty of guys who love their girlfriends ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with being sexually conservative?!
Q. I felt strongly about the kind of misleading advice / negative overtones that are often present in the responses to people who've been sexually conservative (or abstinent) and are disturbed to find their SO (significant other) have not. They are ...
A. 6 March 2011: I've come to the understanding that you can not generalize either men or women in any way. While here on dearcupid we can make our personal idea of how many men ask one question versus women, we do not have statistics on this, and certainly whatever ... (read in full...)
What happens to women who mainly look for money
Q. there are a lot of girls out there who are mainley looking for sugar daddies or guys with money and dont care about other things, are they gonna get hurt in the end? also, does this mean they have given up on love?...
A. 6 March 2011: Wheeler... you're a guy. Yes, could see that from your response before I checked what the account said about your gender. You're way off when it comes to your "penis" logic. Women can't just fake it either. If we're not attracted to a man we can't ... (read in full...)
No orgasm from oral sex. Am I weird?
Q. I can't orgasm from oral sex! Only from masturbating can i do it. When my boyfriend uses his hands down there it feels good, I just think I haven't had an orgasm from that because I'm too nervous (performance anxiety) about NOT having an orgasm. So ...
A. 6 March 2011: I know! Maybe you should try him giving you a massage first, to help you relax, and put on some nice music that you enjoy? Maybe it'd help if he gave you compliments, or talked you through it, constanlty giving you feedback on how much he enjoys ... (read in full...)
What happens to women who mainly look for money
Q. there are a lot of girls out there who are mainley looking for sugar daddies or guys with money and dont care about other things, are they gonna get hurt in the end? also, does this mean they have given up on love?...
A. 4 March 2011: The only cases where I've seen beneficial marriages happen is between men of the western developed countries marry women from asia or eastern-europe. Then it's not so much about money as it is about the quality of life and living standards. We ... (read in full...)
I'm gonna guess a 4th date is a no?
Q. 3rd date we've gotten allog great then we have sex twice and I pay for an expensive hotel .....our personalitys click and we both laugh and enjoy each others company ....she was attracted to me and she liked me all the way up to this point.... ...
A. 4 March 2011: Ask her for the 4th date if you want to meet her again. The sex part can usually be worked on, but perhaps you just didn't click. If you're already this hurt by her though, are you sure you want a 4th date even if she'd ask you to meet up again? P... (read in full...)
13 year old boyfriend wears briefs. Does it really matter?
Q. My boyfriend is 13 and he still wears briefs. Does it really matter? He wears ones like these: http://direct.asda.com/george/kid-s-clothing/older-boys/underwear/5-pack-camo-briefs/GEM61476,default,pd.html...
A. 4 March 2011: Im with eyeswideopen on this one, how do you even know what underwear your boyfriend uses? You are both 13, at the age where it's not appropriate to take baths together any longer, and still inappropriate to be intimate together. What underwear he ... (read in full...)
No orgasm from oral sex. Am I weird?
Q. I can't orgasm from oral sex! Only from masturbating can i do it. When my boyfriend uses his hands down there it feels good, I just think I haven't had an orgasm from that because I'm too nervous (performance anxiety) about NOT having an orgasm. So ...
A. 4 March 2011: Sounds like your boyfriend doesn't know how to give oral. If it feels like just licking, the mostly likely that's what he's doing, just licking. Giving oral is a bit more complicated than just giving a few licks. Talk to your boyfriend about him ... (read in full...)
He's not at my level career or education wise!
Q. So I don't know if I'm wrong to be concerned and feel bad about getting more serious with him simply because our future career views are different. I currently have a Bachelor's degree in Alternative Medicine and want to continue my educatio...
A. 4 March 2011: First off, you should not let your family's views dictate how you view your fiancé. Always be careful of this, are these thoughts coming from you, or from them? You are the one who lives your life, you are the one who lives your life with this man. ... (read in full...)
Communication & Sex
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy who is 3 yrs older than I. We are both still virgins and we want to have sex, but everytime we try to, something happens and it gets put off. I love when he holds me and kisses me and such, but I'm afraid he ...
A. 4 March 2011: How long have you been a couple? Perhaps you just need more time with him? If you've only been together a couple of months it might still be a bit early for you?
How did you feel when he gave you oral? Do you think you'll be able to let him do i... (read in full...)
I just had a date with an old friend that I've had a crush on! Is he interested in me?
Q. I had a crush on an old friend of mine. After many years, he recently wanted to 'hang out' as he ended up working in the same city as me...so we went out for coffee yesterday. It was like the date with a guy that I'd always wanted to have...finall...
A. 4 March 2011: He brought you out with him because you are an old friend and he wanted to catch up with you, same reason you had for meeting him and going to that place with him.
But, it was the first meet-up you had in 4 years. Get to know him again, sort of,... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to say he does not want to hangout with his girlfriend cause he wants "me time"?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to say he does not want to hangout with his girlfriend cause he wants "me time"? I would think its okay but I guess I just wanted to question it just to make sure I feel okay about him not wanting to spend time today.Well ...
A. 4 March 2011: It's normal for everyone to want to spend some time alone with themselves, or with no-one in particular. Doesn't mean he dislikes you, or didn't want to hang out with you. He just wanted to hang out with himself a bit more today.
I believe ... (read in full...)
How will you know for sure that puberty is ending?
Q. How will you know for sure that puberty is ending? I ask because I want to know when the acne will stop ( vicious breakouts about every month) what the limit of my facial hair/back hair (still none thank god) growth will be, I want know when I...
A. 2 March 2011: You missed the point if you thought the answer was about back hair. Back hair is an example, you can put anything else in there (such as your hight, your penis size, you name it), instead of back hair, and the answer is the same. ... (read in full...)
What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present?
Q. What is the etiquette for a married woman's behavior in party situations where her husband isn't present? My wife just returned from a trip with some girlfriends to Atlantic City. While there she won a bunch of money playing a game that she di...
A. 1 March 2011: "Should I be giving her free reign to chat, accept drinks, joke around, not freak out if someone is flirting with her - so long as she doesn't actually do anything with anyone?"
Yes, thats it. She's not your property, she's your wife. She's st... (read in full...)
Engaged, but thinking of someone else... is this normal?
Q. I have a problem. I am engaged to a wonderful man and have been with him for a few years and everything is great, just recently though I have started talking to this guy who showed an interest in me romantically. I told him I was engaged and that ...
A. 1 March 2011: I think you're not paranoid, but over-thinking things. Just because you are engaged doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have brain activity. You see a nice man, you meet a guy who's a great guy... and then just because you're engaged your brain isn't ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to take the plan b twice within 2 days?
Q. Ok my boyfriend and I had sex for the firts time with out any protection, no condom and I am not in any birth control pill, I was my firts time and he didn't come inside me, I was so freak out because I defenately didn't want to end pregnant so I ...
A. 1 March 2011: You have to read the leaflet on the package the plan B comes with. The first pill does not protect you in any way from sex later on.
You need to decide what is more important to you: having random sex, or being PROTECTED. It's a choice you make... (read in full...)
How will you know for sure that puberty is ending?
Q. How will you know for sure that puberty is ending? I ask because I want to know when the acne will stop ( vicious breakouts about every month) what the limit of my facial hair/back hair (still none thank god) growth will be, I want know when I...
A. 1 March 2011: There's no clear end. People get out of puberty normally at age 18-20, however the acne can last you a life time. Look to your parents to see how you will develop. If your parents had acne, or bad acne breakouts, it is most probably a genetic thing, ... (read in full...)
I don't know who got me pregnant!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together and have been trying for a baby for months.I was last on my period on the 26th January which usually lasts about 5/6 days. We had sex a few times from the first week of february and broke up. I met up with my e...
A. 1 March 2011: Tell your ex boyfriend that you are pregnant, and that it is likely his child. Although if you have had any other partners in the meantime, you should alert these men as well.
I believe once the child is born, or perhaps even earlier, it is possi... (read in full...)
Sex positions with a curved penis?
Q. Hay guys, quick question for you. Me and my girlfriend have great sex. But my manhood curves slightly which does limit the number of positions that are comfortable for us both. Any suggestions? Thanks :)...
A. 1 March 2011: Still depends on your woman too... In my thoughts, an upward curve would do good in missionary, when the girl is on top, great for penetration while in standing positions, thus making shower sex an option. If the girl is too low for penetration ... (read in full...)
Sex positions with a curved penis?
Q. Hay guys, quick question for you. Me and my girlfriend have great sex. But my manhood curves slightly which does limit the number of positions that are comfortable for us both. Any suggestions? Thanks :)...
A. 1 March 2011: PS. any curve is blessed for the g-spot, Clear Eyes... you just need to move around to the pose where your head hits the g-spot. If you go downward for example, you hit the g-spot well in a doggy position. Sideways there are many great sideways ... (read in full...)
Sex positions with a curved penis?
Q. Hay guys, quick question for you. Me and my girlfriend have great sex. But my manhood curves slightly which does limit the number of positions that are comfortable for us both. Any suggestions? Thanks :)...
A. 1 March 2011: What kind of curve? Slight, steep? Up, down, to the sides? Experiment. Look at sex positions online, or buy a book with sex positions. Many are just for curved penises, or, specific for a penis bent this or that way, and any other penis will not be ... (read in full...)
Thinking about the future -- would it be safe for third-cousins to have children together?
Q. I'm 17 years old, and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and we love each other very much. But recently we found out we are third cousins and we are both thinking about the future. Is it safe for us to have children together? ...
A. 1 March 2011: Are third cousins the children of cousins? As in your parents and his parents are cousins? If so then yes, relatively safe. It's not illegal. The reason many countries prohibit marriage inside of close family is because of the risk for birth defects ... (read in full...)
Does losing temper really mean you care?
Q. Hi all, To start off we are both male Today I asked a friend of mine to stop playing his music up full volume while he was round mine as I had to concentrate on something. He had his other friends with him and he said no, this doesn't sound r...
A. 1 March 2011: I think he's just not that socially adapt. He hasn't learned how to act appropriately. I make blunders like that myself, forget to respect people I should respect and just speak my mind without thinking. Or mess up in other ways, only to regret it ... (read in full...)
Do men actually like this?
Q. Do guys like giving oral to girls??? I mean do they like fingering, and going down and you know? The taste, the look, when it's clean and partially shaven. I am so trying to explain this well, but just really wanted to know if they like kissin...
A. 28 February 2011: My guy likes it. He doesn't care if it's shaved or not. I've been down on a girl before myself, and I enjoyed it a lot! It was great actually. ... (read in full...)
Why I am attracted to women with low self-esteem?
Q. Why am I attracted to these needy messed up low self-esteem women? It's like if she is in trouble or is in bad emotional place or drug addict or w/e . I find these women very attractive.. Its like their emotions are so pure I can't explain it.I ...
A. 28 February 2011: Take a chance at a confident woman one time. Even confident women cry, and need someone to be by her side when she's going through a rough path. Then when she feels better she will be loyal to you and want you, not push you away.
Some men have the... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't pay bills, or clean up messes, and she's taken money from my account without permission. What should I do?
Q. I am 36 years old and I have a wonderful two year old daughter. I own my home, and my daughter’s mom lives with me. This is where the problem comes in. She is going to school full time and out of the three years we have been living together...
A. 28 February 2011: Why are you so careless about your money and credit card? It's not like she could get her hands on your credit card unless you didn't bring it with you, is it? How did she get her hands on the credit cards? And are your cards without a personal ... (read in full...)
Can I still please a woman?
Q. Hi!! I am 25 years old and I have a penis that is 3 1/2 inch when it erect but it is not thin, do you think that I can still please a woman with that size?...
A. 28 February 2011: What Cindy said. It also depends on the woman you meet, and what she needs to be pleased. Women are also so different down there that it's not a simple yes or no question. It's all dependent on the woman you meet, and how you and her interact and ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Why am I still single?
Q. I've been told that I'm pretty, and a lot of guys hit on me. My friends even tell me that they wonder why I'm single. But that's what I don't understand either! I just don't get it - the guys I don't want hit on me, and the guys I do want reject me. ...
A. 28 February 2011: If you have standards it takes some time to find the right guy for you. That pretty much sums it up. If you don't have standards you'd just be happy dating either one of these jokers.
Alternatively you just need some practice flirting. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my habit of cheating with men behind my girlfriend's back?
Q. hi there, I have a girlfriend, she's just crazy about me and the problem i'm having is, when i'm with her i'm normal and when she's not with me i start flirting men. I had sex with men too. I know that i'm betraying her but all i wanna do is to g...
A. 28 February 2011: Might affect your life later on? It's already affecting you life! Don't fool yourself here, what you do will affect you, and you most of all. If you want to be happy and monogamous with your girlfriend then you have everything you need to do that ... (read in full...)
What's this sex position called?
Q. I'm seeing a new guy outside the U.S. (just a FWB thing, no relationship) and he showed me the most amazing position the other night (not in terms of ability required, but in terms of how it felt)--He wanted me to lay flat on my stomach, except with ...
A. 28 February 2011: It's not doggy style... sheez, doggy style is when you're up on your knees and arms. Were you flat on your stomach? Then I don't think it's that Turtle thing either.
Anyway, there are more positions than you can name in the world, and each pos... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my bf's bi-curious fantasies?
Q. During sex, while talking about our sexual fantasies, my boyfriend told me the thought of sucking a man's c*** turns him on because it is "wrong" and "taboo". I brought it out by telling him I fantasize him being done by another man. He said he ...
A. 28 February 2011: I agree with fi the three, you need to support him in this. See if he can open up more, and be careful to not sound judgmental. Accept that he's got the views he's got on this, and that he needs to go forward at his own pace. The most obvious reason ... (read in full...)
I have a noticeable mustache, I wear glasses, I'm overweight, and I've been told I look like a man and that I'm ugly. Please help!
Q. Hi well I’m 14 going on 15 and I’m very insecure I’ve always been overweight but not that much overweight. I’m 165 pounds I gained 30+ pounds in a year. I’ve been trying to lose but no success. I’m also very much unattractive. I feel very much use...
A. 27 February 2011: Another, totally free, option for the mustache is to pick the hairs one by one.
The hairs when you shave them won't grow out thicker. That's a common thing to say, but what actually happens is you cut the hair in the middle, meaning when they gro... (read in full...)
I have a noticeable mustache, I wear glasses, I'm overweight, and I've been told I look like a man and that I'm ugly. Please help!
Q. Hi well I’m 14 going on 15 and I’m very insecure I’ve always been overweight but not that much overweight. I’m 165 pounds I gained 30+ pounds in a year. I’ve been trying to lose but no success. I’m also very much unattractive. I feel very much use...
A. 27 February 2011: Im going to give you practical advice. Although you also need a lot of prep talk and self esteem boosters, and mental work on your own part. The only way to get a good self esteem is to believe in yourself. But you can read up on strategies for that ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 27 February 2011: Perhaps it's not even legal in her state to have sex. I don't think two years without sex is a lot at all, we're talking about a girl who dated this boy from the age of 15-17. If she was 20+ it'd be different! But even then, as long as she's not ... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 27 February 2011: Its group pressure. People who are insecure about their own choices will try to make everyone else do as they do to feel better about themselves.
Don't tell them that though or you will find yourself in a fight. Best not to push people's sensitiv... (read in full...)
Three significant relationships have all ended due to circumstance. Is it my fault?
Q. Is it true that women just want bad guys? I'm a good natured guy, and whenever I'm in a relationship with someone I will do anything to try and keep them happy and show them I care. Unfortunately I've just gone through my 3rd break up from a signif...
A. 27 February 2011: If a girl thinks you tickle too much she'll tell you it's too much. Just check her behaviour and reaction when you tickle. If she smiles and giggles it's ok. If she goes sour on you it's time to tone it down a notch.
I'd like to share an idea wit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 26 February 2011: Your boyfriend is being irrational. There is no comparison between masturbation and sex with another person. By that logic you should also be having sex with every man in the neighborhood.
You made it clear from the onset that you would not have... (read in full...)
Three significant relationships have all ended due to circumstance. Is it my fault?
Q. Is it true that women just want bad guys? I'm a good natured guy, and whenever I'm in a relationship with someone I will do anything to try and keep them happy and show them I care. Unfortunately I've just gone through my 3rd break up from a signif...
A. 26 February 2011: I sincerely do not think you're doing anything wrong. The break-ups weren't bad, they were due to different wants and needs, which were clearly stated. Whether they were the true reasons or not is pointless to debate.
But, my belief is that you... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
