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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Does the size of a girl's "pearl in her flower" matter to men?
Q. Ok guys, please be honest! Does the size of girl's "pearl in her flower" matter to you? I didn’t think mine was big till my boyfriend said, “wow your "pearl" gets so big when you’re turned on.” He makes jokes about it. Now I’m self conscious about ...
A. 31 January 2011: What is this pearl? If you mean the clitoris then.. no guys don't care about that. If the guy gets to see you naked I can assure you, whatever it is you think you have of imperfections will NOT be on his brain. This is what will be on his brain: ... (read in full...)
I constantly seek validation from men, and compare myself to other women! It has turned me a bitter woman at age 22, so how do I stop caring about men and relationships?
Q. How can I stop caring about relationships and what men think of me? You know, when you have stupid problems and you fight against things you just can't fight against. For instance, I hate society, I hate how society works, and how most people go b...
A. 31 January 2011: Your logic is off, thats why you're in this self fulfilling prophesy. Your logic goes like this: looks= to be grades in points from 0-10, smartness= graded in IQ etc etc
The real world doesn't work like that. You can't grade people, not can you ... (read in full...)
What can I do when my boyfriend believes I secretly want his older brother?
Q. Me and My Boyfriend have been dating for 10 months and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him so much and I know it's stupid but I feel like he's the one. The only problem is he is insecure. He doesn't feel like he is good ...
A. 30 January 2011: He's the one who needs to fix this himself, there is little or nothing you can do. He's the one with the insecurity, and he's the one who's comparing himself to his brother and telling himself these things. He's the one who need to change this bad ... (read in full...)
When gay guys get aroused does their anal area get moist?
Q. HI, I'm a 16 yr old gay boy and I was just curious about something. When gay guys get aroused do their ass get moist like girls get wet when they're horny? I was just wondering... I know it's a stupid question, but I just wanted to know. ...
A. 30 January 2011: No, the anus does not get moist on either gender at any point. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can watch my one night stand but I don't want him to join in!
Q. I'm bi-sexual and have been with my boyfriend for seven months. I've had past relationships both physical and emotional with other women and I desperately want to have another physical one night stand with a woman. Now, my boyfriend is the...
A. 30 January 2011: You're being selfish. It'll be the perfect birthday present for him? Or for you? Sounds like it's way more for you, in fact all for you, and nothing for him. Sure, if he's into live porn. Im not saying this is bad. Im all up for threesomes and ... (read in full...)
I feel like he is pushing religion on me, but he keeps asking me out
Q. A man asked me out that I met at a party. We met up for drinks and it appeared to go smoothly. he invited me out for a fancy dinner a few days later. I accepted. I am 48 and he is 50. The evenign started out soo good until the subject of religion ...
A. 30 January 2011: I think you should decline. He sounds like he wants to preach to you, not date you or respect you, but make you his minion. Leave him to find an equally dedicated person to be with. ... (read in full...)
Why are men so tired after having an orgasm?
Q. dear readers, i just of the phone to my boyfriend, and well lets say what we talked about ended up in him, well finishing (cum)i would like to know why guys get so tired after they finish? for me it might make me tired for a little bit but t...
A. 30 January 2011: It depends on the person, some get tired, others don't. It's not as much tired as relaxed though. After an orgasm it is quite typical to feel relaxed and calm, and it's easy then to simply doze off or want to lay about for a bit and not do much.
... (read in full...)
I love my hometown so much I do not want to leave it, but there's no career opportunities for me here. Is it silly to stay even though?
Q. Hi there, I'm in my late twenties and I value my lifestyle possibly too much. I live in a small city that, to me, has everything. We're five minutes away from several beaches, forrests, tramping and hiking spots and one of the most beautiful na...
A. 30 January 2011: I use to say this: you either choose the work and move to where the work is, or you choose the location and take the work you can find and create there. Great if you can have both the dream job and the dream location, but it all comes down to what ... (read in full...)
Will my girlfriend get used to my large penis?
Q. My girlfriend finds it painful being on top since my penis is so large. But I love it when she is. Also sometimes afterwards she feels pains in her uterus. Are these pains normal? And is it best to just get used to her not being on top, or shoul...
A. 30 January 2011: Things could stretch out, but it could also be she wont stretch out and just go through a lot of pain and start to dislike sex altogether or at worst get injured.
Get yourself used to her not being on top. Leave this to her to decide. If she feel... (read in full...)
If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her?
Q. If you knew a guy and you knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, would you tell her? I have a friend, well someone i know, and for the past 6 months or so he has been cheating on his girlfriend. He has approached me on a number of occ...
A. 30 January 2011: Who's your loyalty with? If he's a friend of yours he wouldn't be coming on to you, would he? If he's not really a friend of yours then why not just tell the girlfriend. Just don't get involved, just a small note or letting that other girl tell ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied and the trust is gone
Q. So my boyfriend lied to me and now the trust is gone. Long story short, last friday he went out with his friends and I went out with mine and he phoned me afterwards (after I phoned him to say goodnight) to say he had a good night at a local pub. ...
A. 30 January 2011: Then ask him why he felt the need to lie? But also, you have a bad taste for that bar, and he probably knows it, but you can't deny him going there anyway. Just close your eyes to it. I think he only lied about it because he didn't want to upset you ... (read in full...)
My "lover" won't date me because he thinks he's gay?!
Q. Okay so i am fairly young and shouldn't really have relationship problems in the first place. But anyways, im only 15, i have a "Lover" i guess you would say that, he is 16, but i dated this guy before, and then we kind of just drifted and then ...
A. 30 January 2011: I think it's best to stop the makeout sessions and other sessions with this boy unless you're fine with it not turning into anything else. He's not ready to date you, and he also seems at a loss for what gender he wants to date. He's just using you ... (read in full...)
Is it right to stay with the only man I have ever been with?
Q. dear readers, i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, he has been the only proper boyfriend that i have ever had. i love him very much and he loves me to, we have a great relationship. But people always seem to think its ridiculous that ...
A. 30 January 2011: You're right to stay only with him. Being happy is what matters, not a number of partners! They only tell you it is stupid because they are jealous of your happiness, I assure you. No one in their right mind would recommend leaving a happy and good ... (read in full...)
I couldn't do it! Is that normal?
Q. i had the chance today to move forward with my girlfriend...i honestly thought that i was ready but i froze and couldnt bring myself to "do it"! is there something wrong with me or it natural or what?...
A. 30 January 2011: Thats natural, nothing is wrong with you. You know sometimes when you want to do something, and you think you are ready, but then the moment arrives and suddenly you freeze up. When it comes to sex it's no different than any other thing you are a ... (read in full...)
Why does he say "I want to be next to you"
Q. Ineed help asap. What does it mean when a guy says he wants to be next to you ? Are they trying to ask you out or what ? Thank you !...
A. 30 January 2011: He wants to be close. Like sitting close to you, or by you, or walking next to you. Things like that, he just wants to be close to you. When you like someone you enjoy being as close to them as possible, so this guy likes you. If you miss someone ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 3 years has been sleeping with someone in my bed!
Q. I jus found out that My bf of 3 yrs, has been sleepin wid someone in my bed.am so devasted.becauae i loved him.he's acting all defencive mentioning that am also doing the same.wat should i do.get my things or leave them for him...i want peace!...
A. 30 January 2011: Did you cheat on him as well?
Not that it matters much, this relationship is over with. End it and move on! This is just a mess, and not going to bring you happiness. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied and the trust is gone
Q. So my boyfriend lied to me and now the trust is gone. Long story short, last friday he went out with his friends and I went out with mine and he phoned me afterwards (after I phoned him to say goodnight) to say he had a good night at a local pub. ...
A. 30 January 2011: It's not as much of a lie as a white lie. He went out, he had some drinks. What the big difference exactly where he was at? Same friends, same guy, same amount of alcohol, just a different location. He knows you don't approve of that particular bar, ... (read in full...)
Am I big enough?
Q. I'm about 5.5 inches, maybe a little smaller but I was wondering (as i am a virgin) if I'm big enough for vaginal sex with my girlfriend? And what position would be best for my length to get the most in?...
A. 28 January 2011: Everything is big enough for vaginal sex, I don't understand what you're asking for. Everything that can go in will go in... it's not a question of whether or not it's possible. Its rather a question of you trusting yourself a little more and not ... (read in full...)
Should I reunite a decade later with a long lost friend?
Q. Does anyone have any stories involving reunions with long lost friends/interest that end well? When I was 20, I met a man while interning in a city over the summer. He was 40 at the time and we hung out just talking and walking around the city....
A. 28 January 2011: That sounds cheesy to me. I don't know this guy well, and of course you are the better judge of his character. But something about this sounds off to me. Especially the line where he says if you'd like he can explain this better to you. And whats ... (read in full...)
Am I ready for this baby?
Q. im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best ...
A. 28 January 2011: Im sorry for you, it's hard to have a miscarriage. You should talk to a school nurse or your doctor about it, even if you never tell your parents. Just to make sure you're fine and there's no medical issues, and to deal with the stress and feelings ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's last sexual encounter before me is making me very uncomfortable
Q. I recently discovered that my girlfriend had sex with one of her best friends' brother in law a month or so before we met(we've been dating for several months... making the encounter not even a year old). She's an honest sort, so I believe her ...
A. 27 January 2011: To be honest there is nothing you can or should do other than sit back and accept it. If you feel uncomfortable you just need to try and fix that problem yourself, and get over it somehow. I believe in time, as you trust your girlfriend more (you ... (read in full...)
Does attitude really matter?
Q. Does attitude really matter??? Everybody keeps telling me to "be positive". ...
A. 27 January 2011: Short answer: yes. Attitude matters. If you're negative no one wants to be around you and you wont get that many opportunities in life. ... (read in full...)
I want to be sure to please him on our first time
Q. My boyfriend and I are going to have sex for the first time very soon, I asked him what is the one thing he wants me to do... He said he doesn't know, but I really want to know so I can please him. Please help (we're both virgins) ...
A. 27 January 2011: You just have to go with the flow and be gentle with each other, and make sure the other is feeling comfortable and good. There's no "special" thing other than having sex for the first time with each other is a very special thing all by itself! ... (read in full...)
This situation with him is getting old, what should I do?
Q. I‘ve known this guy for about five or six years now, and we belong to the same group of friends. We only ever meet when this group meets, but then its ok, we do talk and everything is pretty normal. If we meet alone (which is almost never) its just ...
A. 27 January 2011: I can't tell you what to do, but here's some food for thought. He's not what you imagine as the "ideal" man. But often what we think we want, and what we actually need in life, are two different things. Are you sure you know what you need, what will ... (read in full...)
How many girlfriends should I have before I marry?
Q. iam looking for a girl who will be my wife.so before i marry ,how many girlfriends should i have? should i be trusting her? ...
A. 27 January 2011: I didn't know there was a rule for how many girlfriends you should have before marrying. Everything is allowed, you date a girl and if the first one you date turns out to be the one you want to marry then go ahead and marry her. The only reason ... (read in full...)
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
Q. Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
A. 27 January 2011: Flowers and chocolate is all I could ask for really. Or just a cute card with a kitten on, works for me!... (read in full...)
How can I be romantic with my on line crush, and show him that I care?
Q. Hello! My on line crush says that he likes romance, and to show him that I care about him... My question is how can I be romantic with him? And how can I show him that I care and like him? I already said that to him, but how can I prove it...
A. 27 January 2011: Has he given you any ideas of what he enjoys? If he can't think up anything then he's putting you in a hard position. Being romantic should also be done on impulse and because you want it, not just because the other is asking for it. But wanting to ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me with some ideas for Valentine's Day?
Q. I'm not sure What to get my girlfriend for Valentine's day. I got her a silver necklace for xmas and she's yet to take it off, so I'm hoping to achieve that level of success again. What are some foolproof ideas? ...
A. 27 January 2011: Try to see this article or search the archives here on dearcupid.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/valentines-day-gift-ideas.html... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I can marry her now I know about her past!
Q. I have been with this woman for 10 months now, i recently even got engaged with this women, at first she did tell me that she was seeing women when her mental health was not fine, recently i proposed marriage to her and moved in with her, since ...
A. 27 January 2011: If you didn't know her, and you aren't sure of her reasons to be with you, why did you ever ask her to marry you? Were you sincere at all or were you just feeding her lies when you asked her to share the rest of her life with you?
Past behavior... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my girl friend for being ungrateful?
Q. I want a break from my Girlfriend because she returned a gift I bought for her. I love her and have been with her for 4 years, This is the first terrible thing she ever done to me! Must I forgive her? She returned a cellphone and wanted a blackbe...
A. 27 January 2011: It's not that big of a deal. It happened once that she returned a gift you got for her. But these things happen! I'd say there is nothing to forgive at all, you bought a phone she didn't like, and it should be perfectly acceptable that she returns ... (read in full...)
I need advice to cope with my sexting obsessed boyfriend. How have others coped with this problem?
Q. I need help. My boyfriend is obsessed with sexting other girls. I have caught him twice doing it with the same girl. He swears that nothing is going on between them, but I find it hard to believe. When I confront him about it he just keeps sayi...
A. 27 January 2011: If he's sexting them then he's already over the line, so where does the excuse "there's nothing between us" come from? If there was nothing then there'd be no texting. The texting is something... Call his BS. This is just stupid and he's ... (read in full...)
His kids are always sick!
Q. I am currently pregnant and expecting my first child with a man who has 3 children from a previous relationship. His children come over and visit every 2nd weekend. One of his kids is ALWAYS sick though... Ever since I first met her she either has a ...
A. 27 January 2011: I understand your concern, and I actually agree. Yes, they aren't your children and everyone considers it impolite to try and direct him on how to raise his children... But lets not be too courteous here. You live with him. You're in effect their ... (read in full...)
I asked for nude pictures of my ex! Was this cheating, and should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. I have a problem that I'm trying to figure out and I hope that I can get some help on here. I appreciate any and all advice. Ok, so I've been in a relationship for a little over 3 months now. It's been amazing every second. I really think that she...
A. 26 January 2011: It's not cheating. It's not appropriate, and it's over the line of what most would accept, but I wouldn't go as far as to call it cheating.
If you want to tell your girlfriend thats up to you. If you tell her what you told us on here, that you... (read in full...)
He doesn't come up on any Facebook searches, but he says he has a profile? What is going on?
Q. First off, sorry if this is a stupid question. I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months and a I love him very much. He's a bit older than me and we met when I rear ended him at a red light. Even though it was a not so good situation we hit it ...
A. 26 January 2011: Why didn't you ask him this? He probably just has an account using a different name or something, perhaps a nickname, or perhaps he even disabled the account without remembering it. Just ask him to find his account for you so you can add him, or ... (read in full...)
Power shift in a relationship?
Q. In a relationship why would power shift from one person to the other? Nothing personal just a bit of research for a book I'm writing :) ...
A. 26 January 2011: If the other does something very bad, or one gets more influence and power in more areas of their life.... (read in full...)
I had sex a year back, will my future husband know that I'm not a virgin?
Q. I had sex last year, but my bf ditched me.. Ima going to get married next year to someone else and I don't want my husband to know that i'm not a virgin. That was the only time I had sex, tilll now i dint get physical with anyone. All I want to know ...
A. 26 January 2011: I'd advice everyone to check the nationality of the question asker before answering. It could prove helpful. To my knowledge India practices arranged marriages, where love has little and nothing to do with a marriage. This is about status, why else ... (read in full...)
We can't have vaginal sex due to my girlfriend's health issue, is it wrong to ask for oral?
Q. My girlfriend can't have sex at the moment due to a health issue with her vagina. She is hopefully seeing a gyno soon to figure out what's up. My question: should she offer to perform oral on me while we go sexless? if she does not offer (she h...
A. 25 January 2011: You're angling this wrong. The point is not that she should offer you oral or not. The point is that as long as you are in a sexual relationship it is in the best interest of the relationship to be a loving partner and think of what is good for your ... (read in full...)
I had sex a year back, will my future husband know that I'm not a virgin?
Q. I had sex last year, but my bf ditched me.. Ima going to get married next year to someone else and I don't want my husband to know that i'm not a virgin. That was the only time I had sex, tilll now i dint get physical with anyone. All I want to know ...
A. 25 January 2011: I think that your vagina will still be very tight even if you had sex, as long as you did it only once. However you might not bleed since your hymen is no longer there. Although, you CAN still bleed if you are very tight and the penis stretches you ... (read in full...)
Are there any couples out there who are 100% faithful to one another?
Q. I dont know if it's because Ive been reading the articles on this site too often (this being a relationship help site and all), but it seems that everywhere I look, people are unfaithful to each other. Im basically asking, are there any couples ...
A. 25 January 2011: You can never use dearcupid.org as a place to get a good overview over relationships world wide. Here many come with their problems, here all the bad things about relationships, insecurities, worries, they all come here. The ones who are happy... ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims he love me. So why does he sleep around?
Q. If my boyfriend says he loves me, then why does he engage in casual sex with others? ...
A. 25 January 2011: Are you telling us your boyfriend cheats on you? Or are you talking about casual sex he had before entering a relationship with you?
If he cheated on you then... it's not worth it, no matter if he claims he loves you or not. Love alone can neve... (read in full...)
Ladies: How do you feel about your highshool sweetheart if you aren't married to him now.
Q. I've been dealing with some insecurities about my wife's ex - the guy she dated in high school. She lost her virginity to him and by all accounts he was the love of her life until it ended. I also know that she didn't want to end it and was prett...
A. 25 January 2011: I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. She sent one e-mail one time and likes to read teenage love-novels. It's really not much to get scared by at all. So she had a great time in high school and has a loving memory. Let her have ... (read in full...)
Am I ready for this baby?
Q. im pregnate and dont know if im ready for this baby.my boyfriend wants the baby but im not sure if i do. we have known each other for two years but we have only gone out for 2 months.i think we are to young for this baby.i have only told my best ...
A. 9 December 2010: No you're not ready for a baby. You're not even ready to have sex. You really have no experience in life, you're not educated, and you say space and money is not a problem? It might be. Your brain isn't even developed to it's fullest, it won't be ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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