| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 27 February 2011: Perhaps it's not even legal in her state to have sex. I don't think two years without sex is a lot at all, we're talking about a girl who dated this boy from the age of 15-17. If she was 20+ it'd be different! But even then, as long as she's not ... (read in full...)
Three significant relationships have all ended due to circumstance. Is it my fault?
Q. Is it true that women just want bad guys? I'm a good natured guy, and whenever I'm in a relationship with someone I will do anything to try and keep them happy and show them I care. Unfortunately I've just gone through my 3rd break up from a signif...
A. 27 February 2011: If a girl thinks you tickle too much she'll tell you it's too much. Just check her behaviour and reaction when you tickle. If she smiles and giggles it's ok. If she goes sour on you it's time to tone it down a notch.
I'd like to share an idea wit... (read in full...)
Why are we constantly hurting each other if we love each other so much?
Q. I need some very blunt, and honest relationship advice. My relationship is barely hanging on by a string.. and I guess I need someone to kind of 'counsel' me through it. (We've been together for a year and a half) I'm 17, he's 19. About 2 years ...
A. 27 February 2011: This guy was never in the same book as you. You want someone who knows his own good, takes care of himself and ensures himself a future. Someone you can trust in, someone who will ensure that your future with him will not be rocky, someone who is ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: If she regrets it, then she shouldn't be forced into doing it again. And if she loves you, and you give her the ultimatum, either have a 3-some or you walk, most likely she will feel forced into having one, even if she doesn't want it.
It won't so... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like it that I masturbate but won't have sex with him
Q. Hey everyone reading this. I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Per my request, we don't have sex - which my boyfriend is fine with (most of the time). Like any other teenager out there, I masturbate. I assumed that m...
A. 26 February 2011: Your boyfriend is being irrational. There is no comparison between masturbation and sex with another person. By that logic you should also be having sex with every man in the neighborhood.
You made it clear from the onset that you would not have... (read in full...)
Marry my best friend? Is he my soul mate?
Q. I was wondering is it good to marry your best friend? I've know this guy since middle school, he is my best friend, and i love him to death. He knows everything about me an vise versa, we talk about everything, and we love spending time toge...
A. 26 February 2011: Are you attracted to him? Can you have a sexual relationship with him?
If yes, then go for it. A marriage with a man you are good friends with have a good foundation for problem-solving, and for making you happy and providing the marriage with wha... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend has a very wild sexual past, and she did webcam shows for others. Will a threesome make me feel better about her past?
Q. Ok where to begin?! I was in a relationship of 8 years and that ended 1 year ago. For the past 5 months, I've been dating and living with a woman who 24 years old. She has 2 children and I love her and them! The problem is she did soooo many sex...
A. 26 February 2011: Why do you experience hurt and difficulty with her sexual past? Do they make you feel insecure? Jealous? Unsure of her intentions or feelings towards you? If you find out exactly what it is that bothers you, you will also be able to find the ... (read in full...)
Facebook Ruined My Life
Q. Is it just me or is Facebook a total head-wreck? Personally, I see it as one big popularity contest. I mean it is so pointless. Why not go out and meet your friends for real, instead of giving yourself a headache trying to think of the 'coolest' ...
A. 26 February 2011: Just because you have a bad relationship with facebook doesn't mean everyone does. I think facebook is ok, it's not something necessary, but people have grown to depend on it. For example if Im not on facebook I don't get invited to parties or ... (read in full...)
Three significant relationships have all ended due to circumstance. Is it my fault?
Q. Is it true that women just want bad guys? I'm a good natured guy, and whenever I'm in a relationship with someone I will do anything to try and keep them happy and show them I care. Unfortunately I've just gone through my 3rd break up from a signif...
A. 26 February 2011: I sincerely do not think you're doing anything wrong. The break-ups weren't bad, they were due to different wants and needs, which were clearly stated. Whether they were the true reasons or not is pointless to debate.
But, my belief is that you... (read in full...)
Fear Is The Father of all Misery
Q. Please turn your mobile phone off, take the house phone off the hook and make yourself something delicious to drink. Lock the front door, sit down somewhere comfortable and listen carefully to what I have to say to you. I am, after all, a sha...
A. 26 February 2011: Thanks for the good reminder! ... (read in full...)
He abuses me verbally but he's the love of my life!
Q. Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months, so far this is the longest relationship I've ever had. He's 21 and I'm 17. I love him so much, more than I've ever loved anyone else but he's a violent person. In th...
A. 26 February 2011: And I would like to add that "but I love him" is not a reason for staying in a relationship either. Love alone NEVER saves a relationship, it is simply not enough! No relationship survives on love alone, unless that love is shown in the right way, ... (read in full...)
He abuses me verbally but he's the love of my life!
Q. Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months, so far this is the longest relationship I've ever had. He's 21 and I'm 17. I love him so much, more than I've ever loved anyone else but he's a violent person. In th...
A. 26 February 2011: Im sorry to give you bad news, but you are old enough to be in a relationship, then you are old enough to face the harsh facts of life. Not all people are good people. And you have landed in a relationship with a man who is not good. He is treating ... (read in full...)
First love stories...how did you meet?
Q. How did you meet your first love and how? or if your married how did you find each other?...
A. 26 February 2011: The term "first love" can be understood in so many ways. I take it to mean the first serious relationship I was in. He was the first man that I was in love with that returned my feelings.
We met at work actually, and I was hitting on his friend a... (read in full...)
What's the difference between MFM and FMF threesomes?
Q. What's the differences between FMF threesomes and MFM threesomes? Just wondering because the first few months into dating my bf he wanted a 3some with another female, i said no and that if he wanted one then he can dump me and find 2 ladies th...
A. 26 February 2011: The difference is the genders. Your boyfriend isn't bi, and even if he was it doesn't mean he would get turned on by another male penetrating you. Just as for you it's not a turn on to think of your man doing another woman.
A threesome is a thi... (read in full...)
I'm not opposed to a threesome but I feel the girl and my man might become a little too interested in each other...
Q. My wonderful boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years. He is very good looking, in beautiful shape, great eyes, and not to mention well endowed.. So, one night this past summer, we almost had a threesome with a girl he met first, but I ...
A. 25 February 2011: I don't think you're being paranoid. When in doubt don't buy as they say. You have doubts, then it's a no go. Simple as that. Explain it to your boyfriend, say that while you thought it would be fun at the time, you have been getting doubts since ... (read in full...)
How can such a terrible person be doing okay while I'm so unhappy and insecure?
Q. My mind is in a fog. I've written on this site countless times hoping for different answers. Hoping one of which might somehow help me. Hoping that someone has been where I've been and can give me hope and help me to better understand what my issue ...
A. 25 February 2011: You need to get over this girl. It's like you are obsessed, or you actually are obsessed, you even said yourself she has become your entire existence.
What are you trying to accomplish with this? My advice to you is pretty simple: stop focusing... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl's voice to crack?
Q. Is it normal for a girls voice to crack ? My voice cracks alot and i get made fun of. Could it be from under using it because i rarely talk. Anyway to prevent or stop it?...
A. 25 February 2011: Have you tried singing? When you sing you practice your voice, and also learn to control it. Either you could join a choir, or sing at home in private. Practice the scale of tones and singing on a pure note.
Voice control can be practice... (read in full...)
My small boobs are killing my relationships!
Q. Okay I have really big problems with my relationships.. I have very small boobs between size AA and A (not very sure). When I meet a guys who I like, Im scared to let them get close to me. Often guys asking me out and saying that im nice person.....
A. 24 February 2011: The beginning step is to recognize that you are the one with the problem, and where it comes from: your self esteem.
This is a bit of low-scale unprofessional diagnosing, but from what I've seen, low self esteem comes from anything and nothing.... (read in full...)
I can't take the word "no".
Q. it's killing me Ive seen this new girl in my univercity and I really like her.I asked her to be my girl friend.she said no at firt but eventually we spoke a nice deal,she said that we can friends .Unfortunatly things gor so bad and she kept say...
A. 24 February 2011: In addition to what dirtball said, you can't insist on getting upset everytime someone say "no". It's a word you don't like to hear, but you can not prohibit the use of it. You need to learn to accept that when people say no they mean no, but that ... (read in full...)
I'm am taking medication to gain weight, but I need support, as well! What should I do?
Q. I'm a 23 year old married female. I've always been thin just like my father. He has trouble gaining weight and I now am having the same issues. I'm 5'5 and weigh 97 pounds. My ideal weight is and was 120-125. I try to eat as much as I can, but ...
A. 22 February 2011: Do you have friends or family that can support you through this? First step would be to tell them and be open about how you take medication to gain weight. Talking about it openly opens the door for support.
Remember that while some people w... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Dirtball, you're not reading what I wrote. I didn't say anywhere that those were MY views, I was saying what it sounds like in general. Nowhere did I state that was MY view, in fact I pointed out that getting revenge on a man is NOT my view, and ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Just read through the other answers. I hardly ever read through the other answers first because I don't want others opinion to colour my own.
Anyway, if I may say this without being looked upon like a crazy cat-lady, men keep getting this wro... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Dearcupid isn't a scientific experiment. Of course people are biased, and that is the entire point of this site as well, for us to bring in our experiences and put them to good use. If we stepped out of ourselves and away from our experiences that ... (read in full...)
She won't reciprocate in the oral department
Q. Hi - I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, however she will not perform oral sex on me. I regularly perform it on her during foreplay, because she enjoys it, just like I do. She has said for the past 18 months on and off that she has had a ...
A. 21 February 2011: You talk to her about it. And not just a "will you give me a bj?" "no, I have a sore throat" -conversation. A full and proper conversation about it! Get to the bottom of this and what impact in has on your sex life. ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I think I might be gay. Help!
Q. Im 13 and i have a girlfriend but i feel attracted to boys as well. Iv watched normal porn but i watch gay porn as well because i feel like i get more horney over gay porn. I love my girlfriend a lot. But does this make me gay?...
A. 21 February 2011: Who cares? The question you must ask yourself is this one: do you want to be with your girlfriend? If yes, then stay. If no then go.
Then later in life, if you do happen to meet a man who you want to be with, then ask yourself the same question... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't be of any support since my expericene in life has been so different
Q. I love my husband very much. We have been married for 4 years, and have lived and been together for 8 years. He had a extremely different upbringing than I did. He is still a great guy, but here lately I feel as if I have no experience in life ...
A. 21 February 2011: "Or leave it be and just think that maybe he is with me because I am different than what he’s used too"
Yes, the last option. Leave this be. You are not inadequate, or less than him in any way. You don't have the same life experiences as he has, ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl get scared off if a guy has never had a girlfriend before?
Q. Hi there question for you girls. If a girl ask a guy when was your last relationship and the guy replies he never had one why would the girl get scared off and not give that person a chance? The worst thing as well if she asked the guy if he is a...
A. 21 February 2011: Well, you need to take what I say with a bit of logic added. It's no rule, and Im not saying all virgins are bad in bed. But they are known to lack skills, and for a woman who is interested in sex, a virgin might not be what she wants!
But r... (read in full...)
Why would a girl get scared off if a guy has never had a girlfriend before?
Q. Hi there question for you girls. If a girl ask a guy when was your last relationship and the guy replies he never had one why would the girl get scared off and not give that person a chance? The worst thing as well if she asked the guy if he is a...
A. 21 February 2011: That guy is you, right?
Those women didn't really know you, did they? They were women you talked to and perhaps were getting to know, they weren't friends of yours of girls you've known for ages. These women might not have been looking for a re... (read in full...)
How can I tell if the pill is working?
Q. i have just started taking the pill, today is my 3rd day, should i b noticing anything different with my body so i can be sure it is working? or are there no signs? thanks x...
A. 21 February 2011: There are no signs. You just have to remember to take the pill every day. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend I had a miscarriage? I don't want to stress him out...
Q. I just found out I had a miscarriage,I didn't know I was pregnant so you can imagine I'm still a bit shaken, my question is about my boyfriend. We have a long distance relationship, things have been a bit rough lately and he's really stressed out ...
A. 21 February 2011: Tell him. It's as much his responsibility as yours, so why should you carry this burden all by yourself? And why keep this something hidden when it is something that should be shared between the two of you.
Talk to him. He's stressed out but he n... (read in full...)
If my hymen is already broken, does that guarantee my 'first time' will not hurt?
Q. if my hymen is already broken, will sex hurt for the first time? i used to horse ride when i was younger, i have been using tampons for 2 years and my boyfriend has fingered me a few times so i am pretty sure it's broken. does this mean sex won't b...
A. 21 February 2011: I really never understood the whole fuzz about the hymen. I guess I didn't have a hymen to break the first time I had sex as I didn't bleed. But I've bled from sex other times when the guy was just too big! First time sex can be ok and not painful ... (read in full...)
How do I tell them I prefer small boobs?
Q. My friends are very into watching porn all the time, girls in my year with double d's and wanting tto have sex as soon as possible. To fit in I have to be the same and go along with it. However I don't agree with huge breasts if you girls who read ...
A. 21 February 2011: If that's what you want to tell them then why not just say it to them just the way it is? You can start with "here's the thing..." and explain your thoughts. Your thoughts are not unusual at all, they are quite common. But so many teenagers try and ... (read in full...)
Why does sex with my well-endowed boyfriend suddenly hurt?
Q. I've been with my guy for a while and suddenly, it's like his penis is too big for me and it hurts for him to thrust like ususal. It's not that I'm "sore" from too much action (ladies, you know what I mean). Furthermore, even if I were just "sor...
A. 20 February 2011: My best guess is something that happened to me years ago. It was with a guy who was average, so penis size doesn't matter in this. Anyway, what happened (I guess) is I got a rift or a scratch somehow, either from too rough sex one day, or something ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who is away on a trip was really mean to me and still hasn't apologized...
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 and half years now. He is 23 and I am 21. He is currently on a snowboarding trip with the ski and snowboard club at his university. He was supposed to call me last night but didn't. When I called him he picke...
A. 20 February 2011: You know your man better than I ever will. So in this case I am afraid I can't help you. I can only say that people don't change, and you know that as well since you know this isn't the first time he's been acting this way. Then I am sure you know ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with 2 guys, and one is the father of my child. What do I do??
Q. I'm in love with two guys, both the same age.. I'm currently with one and have a child with him, but he doesn't make me as happy as the other! What should i do? ...
A. 20 February 2011: Stay with the father of your child, and be friends with the other guy. Why not? It is perfectly ok to be friends with another man. You don't need to sleep with him, or kiss him, for him to make you happy, and for you to enjoy each others company. As ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my bf with the cute boy next door?
Q. Alrighty so, I have been in a relationship for quite some time with a great guy. I absolutely love him to bits. He's always remained faithful and he's such a great boyfriend. Only a select few know about our relationship. Ok so I live two houses d...
A. 20 February 2011: Yes it would make you a terrible person. It's called cheating, and it's not something you'd like to get called. It's also called worse things when a girl sleeps around or cheats.. I wont repeat those names on here. But they are said for a reason: ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend couldn't feel as much when I wore a thick condom!
Q. Like many young lads I tend to orgasm too quickly doring sex with my girlfriend so last night I wore a thicker condom to help me last longer.It worked and I still got the pleasure but my girlfriend said she couldn't feel as much.What should we do? ...
A. 20 February 2011: There are several techniques to practice lasting longer. And then there are ways to last longer while in the act, such as thinking of something non-sexual, or staying still. Moving slow helps, and different positions help.
Different position... (read in full...)
I lied about my photo and don't understand the guy's response
Q. I've recently been talking to this guy and I lied to him about my picture. I finally came clean and and he said to me "I'm disappointed in you, but I don't know if I can be." what exactly does that mean? ...
A. 20 February 2011: I think it's hard to understand people when they don't explain themselves properly. So why don't you ask him what exactly he means?
Or don't bother with him, you lied to him about your photo, Im guessing this was online and that you don't really k... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I won't be around to grow old with him?
Q. I don't really know how to phrase this but I've come here for advice before and I'm really hoping someone can help me. I'm dying and have no idea how to tell my boyfriend. We're 18 and have been together for two years. I have been diagnosed with ...
A. 20 February 2011: You just tell him. There's no right way to do this, but the sooner you tell him the better. He needs to know. You can't protect him from the inevitable. ... (read in full...)
Tired of waiting on a woman who is bi-sexual
Q. This woman that I love and have been loving all year is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend. This is the first time I've ever felt this strong for someone. I think about her all the time and put her before I do myself. It's crazy. If something was to go ...
A. 20 February 2011: The question got posted twice, here's the link to the other one with a few answers:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-gf-is-bi-sexual-and-she-has.html
(just so people can see what others have responded already etc.)... (read in full...)
My gf is bi-sexual and she has a gf, and I can't take it anymore!!
Q. I'm in a tight problem. This woman that I love and have been loving all year is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend. This is the first time I've ever felt this strong for someone. I think about her all the time and put her before I do myself. It's crazy. ...
A. 20 February 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tired-of-waiting-on-a-woman-who-is.html
Duplicate question, here's the link to the other one.... (read in full...)
Could I have gotten HIV from this? Condom broke!
Q. hello guys, im kinda freakin out right now. yesterday i went clubbing with some friends and we got really drunk. and there was this girl next to me. so i went to talk to her and we danced and everything. later on she went home with me and we had ...
A. 20 February 2011: It's illegal in many countries to have HIV and not warn your sexual partner about it. It's being recognized as a lethal attack on a person, and you could be sentenced like a person who killed someone in cold blood if you spread the disease knowing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who is away on a trip was really mean to me and still hasn't apologized...
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 and half years now. He is 23 and I am 21. He is currently on a snowboarding trip with the ski and snowboard club at his university. He was supposed to call me last night but didn't. When I called him he picke...
A. 20 February 2011: First time this happened? Or does he feel like getting mean every time he drinks and smokes?
I think it's ultimatum time. Either he stops drinking to that point, and smoking, or he stops talking to you. Not calling when he's promised to is a no-... (read in full...)
My gf is bi-sexual and she has a gf, and I can't take it anymore!!
Q. I'm in a tight problem. This woman that I love and have been loving all year is bi-sexual and has a girlfriend. This is the first time I've ever felt this strong for someone. I think about her all the time and put her before I do myself. It's crazy. ...
A. 20 February 2011: I don't understand if this is your girlfriend or not? The title says girlfriend, but your question doesn't mention it. Is she just a person you are in love with at a distance, a friend of yours who you are not in a relationship with? Or is she ... (read in full...)
Could I have gotten HIV from this? Condom broke!
Q. hello guys, im kinda freakin out right now. yesterday i went clubbing with some friends and we got really drunk. and there was this girl next to me. so i went to talk to her and we danced and everything. later on she went home with me and we had ...
A. 20 February 2011: You should get yourself tested in about two weeks time. You can call your doctor and explain the situation. But as far as I am aware, they can't test you earlier than in two weeks.
I hope you got that womans phone number or full name so you can ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
