| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I feel cheated because she loved someone more than me in the past!
Q. Please help me,I am suffering with this big problem,I don't know if I share this issue, you may think stupid but 'I am' what to do, here goes my story I believe in one women/one men in life for marriage/love, I have loved my g/f too much for 8-yrs ...
A. 19 March 2011: He didn't say she lied about it. He just said he didn't know about this until now. ... (read in full...)
Girls: why do you get emotional about sex???
Q. Why do girls act like they hate all boys, when they themselves know that the guys they are choosing to be with are known to only use girls for their bodies? This is a question i've been wondering for a while. Girls want sex more than guys. Period. ...
A. 19 March 2011: That has to do with who you want to sleep with, not your urge to sleep around. ... (read in full...)
Girls: why do you get emotional about sex???
Q. Why do girls act like they hate all boys, when they themselves know that the guys they are choosing to be with are known to only use girls for their bodies? This is a question i've been wondering for a while. Girls want sex more than guys. Period. ...
A. 18 March 2011: I don't buy this biology thing. I honestly do not think about being abandoned in the woods with a child if I have a one night stand. The thought never crossed my mind. Not have any of the men I've met expressed a desire to father tons of children ... (read in full...)
Two years and I still don't know if he's the one??
Q. I met my boyfriend in 2007 we went out for almost a year then i broke it off due to trust issues. We got back a few months later. We've been together now for almost 2years. I love him but i'm stil questioning if he's the one. We get along, we ...
A. 18 March 2011: So that's where my soul mate is! Why didn't I think of going to China sooner? Or India, he might be in India as well. This explains a lot, thanks dannn!... (read in full...)
How much is too much sex?
Q. OK, this might sound stupid comming from a guy, But my Ex-wife said that I want sex to much and she couldn't take it any more,( I think she just wanted to get of and be with someone else). I don't think that3 to 4 times a week is to much and would ...
A. 18 March 2011: Guy's will not do it anytime they can. This is often what people like to think, but it's not true. What I learned when I joined this site is a very useful term called "sex drive". This explains things a lot better than saying how much sex is ok and ... (read in full...)
I feel cheated because she loved someone more than me in the past!
Q. Please help me,I am suffering with this big problem,I don't know if I share this issue, you may think stupid but 'I am' what to do, here goes my story I believe in one women/one men in life for marriage/love, I have loved my g/f too much for 8-yrs ...
A. 18 March 2011: First off you must understand that you are misusing the word "cheating". Cheating is when you are in a relationship with one person, but are intimate with another behind their back. What this woman has done is not cheating. Now unless I ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian because I like masturbating more than sex?
Q. hey guys,i enjoy mastabation more than sex,i have never reached orgasm during sex,when mastabating it only take me few minutes 2 reach orgasm is it normal,am i a lesbian??...
A. 18 March 2011: What do you think a lesbian is? A lesbian is not determined by how she orgasms or what she enjoys in sex. Being homosexual is related to your sexual orientation, not the way you have sex. It depends on what gender you are attracted to!
Do yo... (read in full...)
Can you sleep with someone and not get attached?
Q. Can you sleep with someone and not get attached? Do you honestly think the 'friend w benefit' thing is possible?...
A. 18 March 2011: Yes and yes.
Actually, I can. But it is rare to find two people who actually can. They exist, but the wast majority of people can not. It really depends on who you get paired up with as well, and the chemistry between those people. For some the... (read in full...)
How can I show him he hasn't got a hold on me anymore?
Q. Theres this guy who used me, he seems to think that he can come back to me whenever he feels like it ! Which im not going to lie he can, i really like him. The problem is i dont want him to think i am there for him whenever he wants, i want him to ...
A. 18 March 2011: You say no, and move on from him. Forget about this boy who has used you, what is it you like about him that weighs up for the way he has used you? There shouldn't be anything. So quit being his rug, stop feeding yourself an illusion that he and you ... (read in full...)
Two years and I still don't know if he's the one??
Q. I met my boyfriend in 2007 we went out for almost a year then i broke it off due to trust issues. We got back a few months later. We've been together now for almost 2years. I love him but i'm stil questioning if he's the one. We get along, we ...
A. 18 March 2011: Aren't you a little too young to be worried about getting married? If you don't feel like he's the one, perhaps it has less to do with your compatibility, and more to do with you (or both of you) not being ready for that commitment yet in your ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm bi-sexual or not?
Q. im a 17 year old girl. i think im bi-sexual but im just not sure! in my group of friends we have a lesbain, and as a joke my other friends and i lead her to believe i was bi, but now i really think i am, but i dont know how to know for sure. ive ...
A. 17 March 2011: First off it sounds like you've had some bad experiences with sex with men. Have you only tried it a few times? The sex usually gets better once you get used to it, and your vagina stretches out to fit the penis. But were you aroused? Did you get ... (read in full...)
Girls: why do you get emotional about sex???
Q. Why do girls act like they hate all boys, when they themselves know that the guys they are choosing to be with are known to only use girls for their bodies? This is a question i've been wondering for a while. Girls want sex more than guys. Period. ...
A. 17 March 2011: Oh dear you, don't try to pretend to know how God designed women for wanting sex for reproduction or whatever. You do not know if women in general want more sex than men, and you should try to stick to statistics instead, if there are any. And when ... (read in full...)
Why would he want me to parade around in revealing clothes? Is this because he never had many girlfriends and only watched porn?
Q. My lovely boyfriend who is 35 hasnt had many girlfriends and when we first met he had a huge collection of porn which he has now deleted from his computer. He says he doesnt need it any more. However, he seems very keen on me wearing really h...
A. 17 March 2011: If the man is proud of you and thinks you look smashing in high heels and a skirt then heaven bless you. Why get insecure about that. The man has a certain taste, just like I am sure you'd be happy to see him in a suit for a formal occasion, or see ... (read in full...)
Broken up but ex hasn't changed her status
Q. So girlfriend of one year broke up with me 3 weeks ago but hasn't changed her status on a social networking site.. All communication has basically been dropped since I know I have to get over her, especially since she's befriended/gotten quite close ...
A. 17 March 2011: Sorry, but no, it doesn't mean she's having regrets about the break-up or that you have a chance with her. But if you changed your status to single (even while hidden) hers should get automatically changed as well. Perhaps it's time you did just ... (read in full...)
Is there a benefit to dumping someone before they dump you?
Q. Is there any benefit to dumping someone before they do. I could tell my girlfriend wanted to break up but she wouldn't. I did it first but didn't really want to. Was this smart? I want her back. ...
A. 17 March 2011: The benefit to dumping is that you can beg to have the person back and see if they will forgive you. If you're getting dumped it's not like you chose to be single, so you have no leverage in that respect.
However, once the relationship is over ... (read in full...)
How to stop vaginal noises?
Q. every time i have sex (ive only been with one partner) my vagina makes noise, how can i make it stop?...
A. 17 March 2011: It happens naturally and is a part of sex. With time and experience you will figure out what positions allow more air to get pressed in, what what movements not to do. But everyone is different, what moves help for one person will not be what works ... (read in full...)
Can you fall in love without knowing?
Q. is it possible to fall in love with someone without knowing it's happening? ...
A. 17 March 2011: Yes, it happens all the time, and you don't notice it until you're sucked in deep. Often in those situations you don't know it yourself, but all your friends will tell you that you must be in love, or that you act different around this or that ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian because I think of girls when I masturbate?
Q. I'm a 16 year old girl, and recently found out how amazing masturbation is...but lately, when I do it I think of girls in my school. I have a boyfriend, but rarely ever think of him while I do this...does this mean I might be lesbian/...
A. 17 March 2011: It's normal. It doesn't mean you are a lesbian. Don't be scared by it, what turns you on and makes you feel good while masturbating is often completely different from what you're attracted to otherwise. Ignore your masturbation fantasies for a while ... (read in full...)
Broken up but ex hasn't changed her status
Q. So girlfriend of one year broke up with me 3 weeks ago but hasn't changed her status on a social networking site.. All communication has basically been dropped since I know I have to get over her, especially since she's befriended/gotten quite close ...
A. 17 March 2011: Probably she just isn't ready to announce it to the entire world yet. Doesn't mean anything. She'll change it when she feels ready to get all her friends on her back, and possibly her family as well.
What's it to you anyway, you can have your sta... (read in full...)
Are guys turned off by girls making the first move?
Q. i met a mutual guy friend and we hit it off really well. we've only been out alone once since but it was very comfortable and he asked for my number and also flirted with me a little. it seemed like he was interested, whether it was dating or just ...
A. 17 March 2011: Just like Jmtmj said. If a guy actually likes you and you make the first move he will all too gladly jump at the chance and make the right moves back. If he didn't respond then he just wasn't as into you as he seemed. Perhaps it was all a game to ... (read in full...)
Apparently my boyfriend has changed his relationship status to single!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 months. Him and I have had our fights but have always over come them. Now as i came to school today I am told by several of my friends that he changed his relationship status to single. I am freaking...
A. 17 March 2011: It's really rude of him to announce to everyone that he is single, yet not say a word to you. But what do you think, is he the type of guy who would do such a thing?
Or could this be a mistake? Why oh why didn't you ASK HIM? You can't sit and ... (read in full...)
Do people put too much weight on the institution of marriage, and too little value on the PERSON they marry?
Q. I sometimes worry when I see a young person "pushing" for marriage, and seeing marriage as the ultimate goal in a relationship, while worrying little about the "issues" that exist within the relationship and on building a healthy relationship and ...
A. 16 March 2011: I have another question. Why do people in the USA marry so young? They are more or less married away as soon as college in ended, or even before finished with high school. Are there any statistics on this that could be ran for a comparison? It just ... (read in full...)
Does going away together mean sex?
Q. Hi I'm 17 and might be going away with my long time boyfriend for the first time. Is it likely that he might be thinking that we're going to have sex for the first time then? We're adventurous but haven't gone "all the way" yet. It'd be in a pr...
A. 16 March 2011: Going away to a house all by yourselves can mean you will have sex, yes. But if you don't want to you are of course allowed to say NO!
If you don't want people to believe you had sex you should not go alone, bring someone else with you that you... (read in full...)
Why don't I get pregnant?
Q. every time we have sex me and my b.f he always cum inside me but i never get pregnant is that's suppose to mean i will not be able to make kids or there is an other reason behind that??...
A. 16 March 2011: There's only a 20% or so chance of pregnancy when you are at your most fertile and hit the right time of the month. Miss that time when you are most fertile (about two weeks into your cycle) and you will reduce the chances even more.
Other... (read in full...)
Do you consider watching porn cheating?
Q. How can watching porn be cheating? Random question.. girls/guys some thoughts??...
A. 16 March 2011: The link has an error dirtball... can it be fixed?... (read in full...)
Dating a European guy and confused.....is this normal in his country?
Q. OK, It is my first time to have dates with foreigner, and i am a little confused. 1,He said he never married and then i decide to have dates with him. But later he told me he has girl friend in his country and she lives his house with her two chil...
A. 16 March 2011: 1. No, it is not normal. This man is a cheater, and he without doubt is lying to his girlfriend in his home country, telling her he is faithful to her. He is not a good man, and this is not acceptable. If the girlfriend in his homeland found out ... (read in full...)
Question for the girls on attraction to men......
Q. Hi girls i have two question i have always thought of! 1-Do you by nature get attracted to normally hairy men, like some hair on the chest and legs and do you enjoy it if you do? 2-Do you feel the sexual desire a man feels when he sees a pre...
A. 16 March 2011: Yes to both. But there is no general rule, I can only speak for myself. Some do, some don't. And not all men are sexually attracted to a gorgeous woman in a bikini either. It's all dependent on the person.
As for me, seeing someone sexy (in the ... (read in full...)
How can I be a player?
Q. How do I play players back who have hurt so many girls? What is their game and mindset? I want to think like them so hopefully I can hurt them when they get their guard down. Any tips or suggestions? ...
A. 16 March 2011: Why would you want to deliberatively hurt someone? Only bad people do that. Listen, if you happen to find someone you think is a player, and you hurt him, and he appeared to not be a player after all, just some innocent guy who never hurt anyone.. ... (read in full...)
Do you consider watching porn cheating?
Q. How can watching porn be cheating? Random question.. girls/guys some thoughts??...
A. 16 March 2011: "You see it is a double standard because it acceptable to women to be turned on watching a hunky movie star romance and make love to a woman in a non porn movie, it's okay for women to use that fantasy, to put themselves in the place of the female ... (read in full...)
He thinks I fake it in bed, when he is actually the best I have ever had! How do I get him to realise this?
Q. dear cupid my boyfriend and i have been dating for a month. i could count on one hand how many times we have had sex and i feel it isnt normal because my past relationships i'd usually lose count after the first week. he tells me he is really ...
A. 16 March 2011: Stop telling him he's the best you ever had. That compares him to someone else, and even if he's on top of that list it's still a comparison. It could cause him to feel uncomfortable. It leads his mind to the other guys you've had sex with. I'd do ... (read in full...)
What qualifies as casual sex?
Q. Hi everyone, maybe you can help me out with an issue I'm having. I've just began exploring casual dating but not sure whether I'm fully ready or comfortable with it. I don't even know if I fully grasp the concept. I've been in one serious ...
A. 16 March 2011: If he's taking you for an emotional roller coaster ride you must speak to him and tell him that if he's going to hook up with you again he needs to lay off the boyfriend/husband mushy talk.
I think this guy just wasn't ready for the implicat... (read in full...)
Do you consider watching porn cheating?
Q. How can watching porn be cheating? Random question.. girls/guys some thoughts??...
A. 16 March 2011: Cerberus, normal healthy people can have insecurities as well. If it isn't about porn it's about something else. There's nothing "weird" or "sick" about a person who considers porn cheating. Even if we don't understand the actions of others, or ... (read in full...)
Six hours watching naked women?
Q. is it a problem when your man sit in front of you and watch a naked women web site for six hours...
A. 15 March 2011: Most would find that to be a problem yes. I'd certainly think it was obsessive and wrong. ... (read in full...)
Do you consider watching porn cheating?
Q. How can watching porn be cheating? Random question.. girls/guys some thoughts??...
A. 15 March 2011: I don't consider porn cheating. But as far as I understand it, those who consider it cheating see porn as no different than looking at people in the same room as you having sex. Imagine you, and a couple, in the same room. They are getting it on, ... (read in full...)
Would you rather be single, or with someone you don't know is lying to you about having cheated on you?
Q. Is it better to be alone or in a relationship with someone who has betrayed you in the past by cheating, and who continues to lie about having been faithful and committed throughout the relationship? Is it true that what you don't know, can't really ...
A. 15 March 2011: It's not morally correct no, but what you don't know truly doesn't hurt you. It's not right by any means, but it's true.
However it appears you do know. Once you do know it is a lie it is best to be single and be with someone who respects you enou... (read in full...)
The debts have been piling up and I have to file bankruptcy...but I don't know where all the money is going!
Q. I've been with this man for 20 years, married for 14. We have children together. For a few years now he's been wracking up credit card debt like crazy, with nothing to show for it. The debt is more than we make in a year. I don't get it. It's ...
A. 15 March 2011: Can you, in these moments where he's crying and saying sorry, take away his credit card and claim 100% control over your financial situation? Have him, when he's realized how bad the situation is, hand over all responsibility to you for your shared ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I lost my virginity....?
Q. I'm not sure if I've lost my virginity or not because every time I look it up all I ever get are stuff about heterosexual sex. yes, it happened with another girl. which is why I'm not sure about it! I'm very confused. I'm not even sure if it'd cou...
A. 14 March 2011: Fingering is fingering. It's not intercourse. If she used a dildo on you, or a large object, I'd say you lost your virginity. Fingering, even if with a man, doesn't "take away" the virginity.
But then again some define virgin as someone who's ne... (read in full...)
5.5 years together yet he still can't get over my past
Q. Hi. First of all, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my story. I am a 23 year old girl. I have been with my current boyfriend for the last 5,5 years. The problem is that he cant get over my past. He was my best friend during hi...
A. 14 March 2011: There is too much to go into here in detail. You need counseling. As much as I could tell you, of similar stories I've been told from friends of mine... the end result is that no matter what I say to comfort you, you need more than comforting words ... (read in full...)
Condom before or after foreplay?
Q. Just a quick question: when engaging with your partner, should men put a condom on before foreplay or after? ...
A. 14 March 2011: Read the instructions that come with the condoms. It should actually be written there when and how condoms are to be used, when they need to be changed, and when it's time to put them on.
So read it. But in case it's not well explained there: c... (read in full...)
I don't see how we are going to work out physically!
Q. Hi, I started dating a woman a few months ago, and emotionally our relationship has progressed very quickly, while the physical aspect of things has gone very slowly since her past relationships haven't ended well. My problem is that I have a small ...
A. 14 March 2011: Screwing up is a harsh word. You didn't tell her sooner about your penis size, and the fears you carry with it. I wouldn't call that screwing it up. There's no guide to how one should act and should tell the other, the best rule is to tell when you ... (read in full...)
Do women ever chase men?
Q. Do you think that guys are the ones who always want to chase women? Do you know of any examples of situations where the woman was more actively pursuing the guy and it ends up working out? ...
A. 14 March 2011: I've actively pursued most guys that I've ended up in a relationship with. In only 2 out of the total 6 relationships I've had was the man doing most if not all the chasing. I 2 relationships the chasing was mutual, meaning me and the guy hit it off ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to get involved with an engaged man?
Q. Ok...heres the 411 Theres this guy...ofcourse...we get along great, we're in the same line of work, and when we're together all we do is laugh. I've been single for a while and I'm really picky. Its rare that I like someone. All this seems t...
A. 14 March 2011: I find it amusing how the other woman always find the fiancee, or wife, of their "dream man" to be a woman less worthy of their dream man than themselves.
But of course, you're objectively saying this right? And you can't for the love of whatever... (read in full...)
Do I ask my spanish guy if he has a girlfriend?
Q. Hi I need some advise about a spanish guy I met overseas. I stayed at a hotel and I flirted with the waiter. There was alot of eye contact between us and we smiled at each other. I have since returned from my holiday and I decided to add him...
A. 13 March 2011: If you don't expect anything to happen why would you add him, send him flirty messages, and want to know if he's got a girlfriend? Just ask him "is that your girlfriend in the photo?". In either case, Im going to burst your bubble: holiday fl... (read in full...)
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