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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 17 June 2011: Wow! I am so happy for you! I'm sitting here right now with a huge grin on my face. Congratulations on the new job! That is really incredible, and good for you to take that step out of the comfort zone and dare things! It is so hard, for so many, to ... (read in full...)
I am really sexually confused.and need advice.
Q. I will be 18 this year and I am still a virgin and the reason why is because I'm so confused and scared. So I spend time watching porn gay and straight and I am so sexually confused. I find a gay interesting first and ive been looking since about ...
A. 20 May 2011: The solution is to stop focusing so much on sex and trying to label yourself and force yourself to do something.
Step one: get a partner. Be that a girl or a boy. See of it goes. If you don't feel it's a good match, end the relation... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me in not wanting a boyfriend?
Q. I want to stay out of trouble,not having relationship with someone,and focus on my things. I do like chatting with friends and hanging out with them but not the kind of boyfriend and girlfriend. Sometimes it makes me mad that some of my friends ask ...
A. 20 May 2011: Are you happy? Then why feel a need to change? If relationships isn't for you, then so be it. It is abnormal in the sense that most people do want love and relationships. Humans are also social creatures, we simply enjoy being intimate and close to ... (read in full...)
How do you help someone who has really low self esteem?
Q. My boyfriend is so negative, I really want to help make him see the brighter side some more. He clearly has low self esteem and no matter how gorgeous I tell him he is it clearly just just doesn't sink in, he just doesn't believe me I guess ...
A. 20 May 2011: Yes, I have experience with this. And no matter what you tell them or for how long you tell them, or how much you try to convince them, they will not ever see it. So what do you do? Stop trying to make this your problem.
If they are negative... (read in full...)
How can I learn to sleep alone and not be scared?
Q. Hi, I'm a 22 year old woman, and I cannot sleep alone. At night I get horrible images in my head and get scared, and so cannot sleep. Sometimes I am awake until 3am because I am so scared. Or I need to go to talk to a family member or even sleep in...
A. 20 May 2011: Go see your doctor and see if you can get a prescription on something. Or try sleeping aids at the pharmacy that you do not need a prescription for.
Or, tackle your inner demons. Constant nightmares is a clear sign that you are troubled in life,... (read in full...)
Best friend's girlfriend doesn't know about us, but I love him!
Q. I need help! I have been best friends with this guy for two years now and he has had a girl friend for almost one and a half years and after one year of being friends with him i started to fall for him. Even though he has a girlfriend he has told...
A. 20 May 2011: Well, you need to remember that even though he claims to have feelings for you, action speaks louder than words. He might take an interest in you as something more than only a friend... but he's got this girlfriend. If he wanted you, he would have ... (read in full...)
If I ever see him again, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I feel very attacted to a friend of mine i once lived near, i dont think he felt the same about me but i found him very sweet and so very handsome and when he blushed i felt like hugging him and giving him a little kiss. I enjoyed engaging in ...
A. 20 May 2011: Is there any obvious reason why you shouldn't tell him?
Tell him. Find a proper way to do it of course, and make sure he's not about to get married or something like that, so that you don't end up turning his world upside down. But as long as ... (read in full...)
Should I accept my bf's faults or move on?
Q. Hi, Are these reasons to end a relationship? *we only get to sleep together about 4 nights in every 2 months due to work commitments, even though we live 5 miles apart! His excuse is that i wake up far too early as he's a late sleeper and i fidge...
A. 19 May 2011: I don't have a clear cut answer for you, but his excuse is just an excuse. Not a real reason. Me and my boyfriend are both late sleepers, but he falls asleep earlier than me, example around 11pm. I don't get sleepy until maybe 1 am. And then I often ... (read in full...)
My ex's daughter wants to live with me
Q. My partner and I have split up amicably. I have just heard from her daughter that she wants me to live with her. I do know now that she wants me as a sexually active partner. It transpires that we have the same needs and desires. The age difference ...
A. 19 May 2011: The interesting part here is that you are more concerned about children coming out of this, instead of the emotional mess you will engage in.
Yes, bless that there will be no children, but I think you ought to use protection even though, just to ... (read in full...)
The good qualities I'm searching for are always found in married men!
Q. I'm in love with my teacher who's very much married and have 2 kids. Is it wrong to feel this way?? I am still single and never had any relationship in my 30 years of existence. i don't seem to attract single guys and probably that's also the reason ...
A. 19 May 2011: It is elementary, dear you. You seek married men because they DO have all the qualities you at least believe you seek in a man. You want a man with stability, who wants to settle, who wants children etc. All the married men you find attractive have ... (read in full...)
Should I go get my man, OR let the past be in the past?
Q. Hello everyone I have this dilema... My ex husband and I split from eachother over 6yrs ago, at the time it was my fault, as I was dealing with emotional issues from my childhood and kept pushing my husband away. He finally moved on and met...
A. 19 May 2011: If I was in your shoes, hypothetically as I have no idea what it is actually like in your shoes, I think I would say something like this to him:
"How is your relationship with ...(the womans name)? Are you doing well?
It is good to have you... (read in full...)
My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 19 May 2011: What it appears to me is that you are hitting a midlife crisis of sorts. You have plenty of things to be happy about, but somewhere there's a leak where all your energy gets sucked out. You have a steady job, a decent income, you are able to offer ... (read in full...)
My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 19 May 2011: I'm sorry you didn't get any answers, but I will read through this now and at least see if I have anything worth adding. Other than that, I suggest you ask a shorter question, or a precise question, as those are easier for others to answers. It ... (read in full...)
I have to plan for my own birthday party?
Q. I have a very small circle of close friends, and really only two people I spend lots of time with (my other friends are in other cities and states). Last year I took it upon myself to throw one of my two nearby friends a birthday party. It was a ...
A. 19 May 2011: I'm not going to beat around the bush, but this is obvious. If you hadn't arranged the birthday parties for your friends, they wouldn't have had birthday parties.
You arranged one for your friend. Your idea.
You arranged another for anot... (read in full...)
Penis size and sexual satisfaction..
Q. Does penis size matter? Can a woman be satisfied with a small penis? ...
A. 19 May 2011: I forgot to mention one thing that all women who have had sex know of, but virgins women and guys have no clue about: girth. That is what truly matters. If he's too thick then no matter how long or short it can be painful. If he's too thin, then no ... (read in full...)
Penis size and sexual satisfaction..
Q. Does penis size matter? Can a woman be satisfied with a small penis? ...
A. 19 May 2011: Try it and you will know. If it is below average then there might be a problem, but anything that is average usually works. Women also come in different sizes though. Some are very tight, and fit better with a smaller penis, while some are naturally ... (read in full...)
I'm too shy to get a bikini wax so what are my alternatives?
Q. Ok so im too shy to go get a bikini wax. And for some reason I cant wax myself. I dislike always needing to shave and the effects of that. So does anyone know another way. Can I use that veet stuff as long as im careful to keep it external?...
A. 19 May 2011: You could try the veet stuff, if Im correct that is a type of cream you apply onto the skin? I tried that once, didn't do anything. Hairs were still there, and if you leave it on for long you get a reaction as it's burning the hairs away in ... (read in full...)
She refused to shave after eveything I do for her...
Q. Dear fellow readers, I have found myself stuck in a very fragile situation and I am in need of some serious, thought out advice. I am 16 and have been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I have hit a brick wall. A few weeks ago I ask her to ...
A. 19 May 2011: Im thinking maybe you just worded yourself wrong. You feel like you are the one being punished when she doesn't want to have sex. So not giving her sex then sounds like an odd decision, did you mean to say that you wanted her to not feel ... (read in full...)
Questions about stopping the pill?
Q. Hello everyone! :) I am 20 years old and started going on birth control about 6 months ago. This past Saturday was my last day on the pill not only because it was getting to the point of being $50 a month but also because we honesty don't fe...
A. 19 May 2011: It variates. There is no clear anwer on if you will even get side effects. You can get spotting, you can get heavy bleeding etc, or you might not experience any change. Everything should be out of your system within a few months though, perhaps up ... (read in full...)
I hate the smell of condoms!
Q. I hate the smell of condoms. I use trojans, lifestyles, durex, basically anything latex because they protect against hiv, stds, and pregnancy; however, every single time my boyfriend puts one on, I smell the condom and I get completely turned off by ...
A. 19 May 2011: If you have a boyfriend you don't use condoms. You go get yourself and him tested, and then you get on a hormonal contraception, such as the birth control pill for example. Hormonal contraceptives are safer than condoms, they protect better against ... (read in full...)
We are opposites of each other. can our relationship work?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now, and we've been living together nine months. I love him dearly and he is a really good guy but I don't know what to do. On one hand, I'm thinking "maybe this guy isn't for me." and ...
A. 19 May 2011: I don't think you're happy with this man. How can you be when he doesn't accept you for who you are? Alright, no one should be screaming their head off during an argument. But do you think of yourself as someone who is easily hurt? Espeially when he ... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband see what his lying does to me?
Q. How do you get your husband to understand the amount of pain his constant lying and flirting can do to a marriage?...
A. 18 May 2011: You show him the divorce statistics and asks him why he thinks they are so high. You can also figure out just how much marriage counseling will cost, or how much a divorce will cost, and ask him if he doesn't think working on it would be a better ... (read in full...)
Is revenge worthwhile or just a waste of time?
Q. I would like to know what you think about this question.. Is revenge really worth anything, or it is just a waste of time? ...
A. 18 May 2011: Revenge is actually an evil act. It will make you a bad person if you seek revenge. Besides, it doesn't result in much other than your personal satisfaction of knowing you screwed someone over. How much fun is that really?
Better to leave it... (read in full...)
Mutual break up, but ex has a new girlfriend already...and I feel terrible!!
Q. I am feeling really distraught at the moment. After 2 years of being together, me and my partner decided to end the relationship. This was a mutual break up, as we just weren't compatible. Throughout the relationship we have really respected each ...
A. 18 May 2011: Dear you. You can not be friend with an ex right away. You can be friends only after you are over him and have had the time to heal. Whether you believe it or not, he would probably feel just as uncomfortable should you suddenly be in a ... (read in full...)
I feel bitter because girls like me now that I'm cute
Q. Firstly i an 20 yrs old, i am a guy i am employed. lets just say if girls were to rate me on my physical appearance i would get a 7.6 out of 10. however it wasn't always like that. in my younger days i would have probably gotten a 5 out of 10. i had ...
A. 18 May 2011: Yepp. We were all dorks when we were teenagers, no need to get bitter about it or let it ruin our future love life. You are definitely not alone in not having had a love life as a teenager, and it is nothing to bother yourself with as that is part ... (read in full...)
Do you think she could smell it on us???
Q. Is it true that you can smell when someone has had sex after they have had it?? I had sex with my boyfriend in my house with no one there this past friday and then my mom comes home an hour later. She never tells or asks me if we had sex or not but ...
A. 18 May 2011: Yes. People can smell sex. After you have had sex you should open the window and get fresh air into the room to make the smell go away, and then if it was really hot and steamy you might even need a shower. You also need to wash your hands well... (read in full...)
How can I boost my boyfriend's confidence?
Q. My boyfriends self confidence is 0. He thinks he is fat and ugly. He is not thin, but in my option he is not "fat" either yes he is probably over weight but he has A LOT of muscle . And lately it's actually been frustrating me that no matter how ...
A. 18 May 2011: I don't think you can. I think this is something he needs to get a grip around by himself. You've been with him for over a year, by now he should KNOW you are attracted to him. How else would you manage to be with him if you loathed him? It is ... (read in full...)
Why would this 28 year old want to date me? And if he just wants sex, why would he bother asking me out to dinner?
Q. Hey there, Agony Aunts. (: Just a few things I'm wondering about... I am recently single and an attractive 19 year old. The other night while I was clubbing, a guy bought me a drink and we ended up spending most of the evening dancing and hang...
A. 18 May 2011: I don't think you're too young to have anything serious with. Unless YOU don't want anything serious. At 19 I was engaged and living together with my fiancé and his mother. We were serious. I wouldn't recommend it, I was too young as was he (think ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so horny?
Q. I am Thirteen (Almost 14) and almost always horny. I'm ok with the fact, but not that I am horny all the time. Is there any way to keep my self from being like this so much? I know it would go down if I had sex, but I'm 13, that's not happening any ...
A. 18 May 2011: It wouldn't go down if you had sex. Actually quite the contrary, it'd go down if you didn't have sex. That includes masturbating. It'll be horrible for a while, and then it might pass. However this is all relative and depends on the person.
Most ... (read in full...)
I read her diary and found out she was bi-sexual! Should I confront her about this?
Q. I've been dating the girl of my dreams. I have been over the moon for the last 5 months because I have finally met someone who I feel real love for, and who loves me back just as much. She is gorgeous and kind and I truely have fallen head over ...
A. 18 May 2011: You're going to end this relationship if you keep doing these things. Insecure or not, there is no excuse for snooping, breaking her trust, and you REALLY should know better than to read someones diary. That is the worst sort of betrayal to someones ... (read in full...)
I feel bitter because girls like me now that I'm cute
Q. Firstly i an 20 yrs old, i am a guy i am employed. lets just say if girls were to rate me on my physical appearance i would get a 7.6 out of 10. however it wasn't always like that. in my younger days i would have probably gotten a 5 out of 10. i had ...
A. 17 May 2011: I'm pretty sure the last time I checked women's tastes in men were as different as men's tastes in women. That means a 10 scale is ridiculous. To one woman you might be perfect, to another you're not. So stop it with the fixating on looks, it's a ... (read in full...)
Girls: what is your view on scrotum hair?
Q. Hey this is just a question I've been trying to figure out. I know overall girls like the pubes trimmed, but does it matter if the scrotum is shaved/trimmed? I cant seem to find an easy way to shave mine so I'm wondering if it's worth the effort? ...
A. 17 May 2011: I think the scrotum is the only place worth shaving if a man's gonna shave. But that's because of sexual pleasure. Not to be too descriptive, but basically if you want your balls licked it's better when the girl doesn't get hair in her mouth. The ... (read in full...)
How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. This if for teenagers mainly! But anyone who isn't a teenager else be sure to answer too :) ....How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?...
A. 17 May 2011: One I met at a party. One I met at work. One I met online. One I met through friends in high school and we maintained a friendship for 8 years and then ended up as a couple. And if you count flings I met 3 more at a party, then one through a c... (read in full...)
Can you really ever stop loving someone?
Q. Can you really get over someone and love another person? I ask because I am in my first relationship with a man, and I love him SO much I cannot imagine loving anyone like him ever again. However, he i much older and has had a long term relationship ...
A. 17 May 2011: Yes. If you start to hate them. But if you didn't grow into hating them then there might be some love left, a tiny little piece that allows you to send them good wishes for Christmas or hope they are doing well, without a need to ever see them or ... (read in full...)
I am overcome with rage and anger at other women!
Q. This problem is breaking my heart and I know that I'm risking being judged by writing this, but I don't have anyone to talk to about this! I'm originally from Spain but working in Cuernavaca, Mexico right now. I have a friend, and I had this b...
A. 17 May 2011: Excuse me? You're a woman yourself, so you be the judge on this one. Are all women selfish? Is it selfish to want a man to love you and whom you enjoy to be in a relationship with? Isn't that exactly what you want for yourself? Who are you to judge ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling these roommates just how inconsiderate they are?
Q. sp im at uni in london living with my boyfriend and another couple who were once good friends to us. They have become un-friends because things just change when you live together. We have had arguments throughout the year on pulling weight and how ...
A. 17 May 2011: Oh yeah, buy yourself earplugs. That way you wont hear them. My landlord has kids, and I sleep with earplugs or hearing protection in the morning. Works wonders. ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling these roommates just how inconsiderate they are?
Q. sp im at uni in london living with my boyfriend and another couple who were once good friends to us. They have become un-friends because things just change when you live together. We have had arguments throughout the year on pulling weight and how ...
A. 17 May 2011: No, no point. You also need to loosen up, sorry. The dishwasher wasn't emptied? Imagine if you lived with some of the people I've seen around, who just put the dirty dishes with food and all in the sink and let it build up. Or don't take out the ... (read in full...)
Not looking for sex or anything serious, how to tell him without being harsh?
Q. i met a nice guy on a night out, we didnt have sex, just cuddled and talked all night. he told me that he had been in a relationship for 4years and now he is just looking for something causal. i dont know what he means by that, is it causal sex or ...
A. 17 May 2011: Ask him what he means by a casual relationship. Although, just because that's what he wants doesn't mean he wants a casual relationship with you exactly. It sounds as you are still in the dating phases, getting to know each other. Casual relatio... (read in full...)
When should I just accept it is never going to happen for me?
Q. At what point should a guy who's never had a girlfriend, never kissed, held hands, or ever had anything more than a friendly hug from a girl just accept that it's never going to happen for them? Let's be realistic here, after a certain age and no ...
A. 17 May 2011: I don't really know anything about this, but my boyfriend was in the army until recently and he too said he's confused about civilian life. That her doesn't know exactly what to make of it. And funny enough he too didn't think he'd ever meet ... (read in full...)
A quick (honest) survey: How often do you and your partner have sex?
Q. This is something I am interested in as this often comes up on Dear Cupid, how often are couples actually having sex? I know personally I feel that my boyfriend and I are not having enough sex, I am 24 and he is nearly 28 yet we have sex once or...
A. 16 May 2011: I don't think age is relevant, I have had a high sex drive since I became sexually active, and I don't think anything but menopause might change that. I'll have sex every time several times a day if Im allowed. What stops me from doing that is that ... (read in full...)
Does performance matter with women?
Q. I got out of a real nasty relationship one year ago and have not had sex since then. He was my first, and i am 25 i was with him for five years. My question is this:: Im not super experienced in bed, and do guys find that as a turn off? I mean...
A. 16 May 2011: You're smart, you should know the answer to this question. I think you're relying too much on your looks instead of valuing your own intellect. Sex between two people isn't about looks, it isn't about porn, and it isn't about how many partners ... (read in full...)
When should I just accept it is never going to happen for me?
Q. At what point should a guy who's never had a girlfriend, never kissed, held hands, or ever had anything more than a friendly hug from a girl just accept that it's never going to happen for them? Let's be realistic here, after a certain age and no ...
A. 16 May 2011: At what point do you accept that it's never going to happen? When you're lying on your death bed. Because not until then do you for sure know that it never happened. Until then, stop pitying yourself and dig yourself into a hole in the ground.
... (read in full...)
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