| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Does this sound like an orgasm?
Q. So usually I struggle to reach orgasm. I do sometimes get a 'twitching' feeling in my vagina, am i right in thinking that this is a small orgasm? Recently I have been trying to explore my body more to se what makes me tick. Anyway earlier I was ma...
A. 9 May 2011: Get a proper functioning bullet or a rabbit or any smaller vibrator. They all work the same. The best is one with multiple speed choices, some low speed, medium, and faster speed. I never use top speed on my vibrators as that is just too much, so I ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 7 May 2011: I can admit, I have been in a relationship once where the sex was mediocre. It was good, by all means, but I had had better. I tried to make up all sorts of excuses for him, or for the sex in the relationship, but yeah. Sometimes you got to play ... (read in full...)
I'm a newly wed and need advice about sex.
Q. My husband and i have been married for about two and a half months now, our wedding night was my first time being with anyone. for the first like two months our sex routine was the same. sex every night missionary, sometimes in the morning but it ...
A. 7 May 2011: You just need to tell him that it is slightly uncomfortable for you when he is behind. If you want to try other things you simply need to initiate it, you don't have to wait for him to do something first.
I think that when he comes back home, si... (read in full...)
She's so loud. How to I tell her to tone it down?
Q. My gf and i have been dating for 4 months. We have had sex a few times, and well, she is loud. really loud. Every time she reaches climax she wakes the whole street, never mind our parents. Its really embarrassing, her parents may think I'm abusing ...
A. 7 May 2011: Hahaha, I am sure your parents aren't thinking you are torturing her, you'd wish. They know perfectly well what you are getting at.
Give it to her straight up: "Darling, you're loud, and wake up the neighborhood and my parents. Next time we have ... (read in full...)
I caught my girlfriend kissing a girl, is this considered cheating?
Q. the other week me and my gf went to a house party. a few hours and many drinks later i saw my gf in the kitchen snogging another girl. at first i spied and i thought it was very hot. but after a about 30 seconds i realised that they were on there,as ...
A. 7 May 2011: She cheated. Unless you have given approval beforehand, kissing another girl, even if just for fun, is cheating. Why should girls kiss just to make it look hot for the guys anyway, I don't get it. A kiss is a kiss, and unless you're in an open ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend breaking up with me over a girl he has been talking to online!
Q. i am heartbroken. my boyfriend has dumped me for a girl he likes online. we live in england, and she lives in america. i cant stop crying. i have tried contacting him but he wont talk to me and he insisted its over. i have made some mistakes, and i ...
A. 7 May 2011: He's a loser. Who dumps someone for another person, that's low. It also means he was flirting with her and emotionally cheating/cheating on your with her. So comfort yourself with the fact that the girl over in America is getting a big dofus of a ... (read in full...)
Worried about my contraceptive pill?
Q. Hey there. I'm currently on the microgynon contraceptive pill and I'm having a few queries and was wondering if anyone could help? Ive been taking them for about 8 months now. I was told at the doctor to take them everyday for 3 weeks and then s...
A. 7 May 2011: Many others mentioned different types of birth control other than the pill. Talk to your doctor about that instead of trying to get a different type of pill. If you get the implant you wont have to worry about being protected for years. If you take ... (read in full...)
Worried about my contraceptive pill?
Q. Hey there. I'm currently on the microgynon contraceptive pill and I'm having a few queries and was wondering if anyone could help? Ive been taking them for about 8 months now. I was told at the doctor to take them everyday for 3 weeks and then s...
A. 7 May 2011: You will NOT get pregnant in the week you do not take the pills, if you have taken all the pills for the previous 3 weeks. Read the leaflet, it is all described there in detail. It is also described in the leaflet what you need to do if you miss a ... (read in full...)
Why do men in their twenties date teenagers!?
Q. In all honesty to men between the age of 22-26. Why would you date a girl who's 18 or 19? Surely at that age you would rather be looking to date someone who you might want a long term relationship with. Is their an ulterior motive here, do ...
A. 6 May 2011: In other words, they are naive and will fall for anything, so easy to get hooked up with. For reference, 6 months is not long term, and if a man goes for teenage girls because of their looks.. then you know for sure it will never be long term.
... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I've never had a boyfriend
Q. This may sound like a very strange question, but can someone please give me some insight into why it is that I am 17 and have never had a boyfriend?? I mean, I have tons of guy friends who have told me I'm attractive physically and who think I'm ...
A. 6 May 2011: Same reason I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18 I suppose. Just didn't meet anyone that I clicked with or had that chemistry with.
You're not "supposed" to have someone by the time you hit puberty and upward. It's perfectly normal to be singl... (read in full...)
I'm worried when I eventually have sex nothing will feel good!
Q. im 18 female and i cant seem to get myself off... ive tried fingering and touching myself but it doesnt feel that good to me at all. The most enjoyment i get is from "pillow sex" so to speak which is rubbing myself against or riding on a pillow. ...
A. 6 May 2011: Don't worry so much! You have nothing to fear, you're just scaring yourself. These things work themselves out, and together with a partner you will find wonderful ways of pleasure that you didn't ever know of. It is quite different to have someone ... (read in full...)
How can you take on more, when you are already overwhelmed with pain?
Q. I have a very complicated situation. I hope you can help. My life turned very challenging in the last year, and I don't know how to deal with things. Here is the short version of the story. I just lost my daughter, less than 1 year ago, from car...
A. 6 May 2011: At what level do they want you to participate in the grief, if there is such a thing. Grief is not a train you hop on where you get a ticket that shows how deeply you feel or how much you "contribute" so to speak. So what exactly is his family ... (read in full...)
What's emotional cheating?
Q. What's emotional cheating?...
A. 6 May 2011: It's when you have an affair with someone, but you don't touch them or have physical contact. Such as when you have cybersex with someone online, or an online boyfriend, when you have a boyfriend in real life. It can also be when you choose to spend ... (read in full...)
Does grammar matter when people communicate today? Or is it a lost cause? What's your pet grammar issue?
Q. First off I will admit it: sometimes I mis-spell words. And another thing, sometimes when I'm in a hurry I abbreviate some words. And when I was at University I used to have the best set of abbreviations in Contract Law. If I needed to refer to ...
A. 6 May 2011: grammar and grammer is always fun.... (read in full...)
What makes me so incapable of attracting a girl?
Q. I'm 25 and have never in my life had a girlfriend or even anything close. I'm not a virgin but might as well be. I've had sex a total of one time several years ago leaving me with almost no sexual experience and zero relationship experience in my ...
A. 6 May 2011: I still advocate he should be direct since his attempts at friendly talk hasn't lead him anywhere. The smoothness of the pick-up lines will come by itself after try and failure.
I just think it might be all too difficult to comprehend and reme... (read in full...)
How do I play out being the dominant one?
Q. How do I play out a sub-dom relationship? The guy I've been seeing for a little why finally admitted to me that he's into being the submissive person in a relationship. Awesome! But how do I play out the dominant one? I've never ever have had ...
A. 6 May 2011: Are you at all familiar with the s and m ways? You said you're normally the sub, so I take it you ought to know already what it means to be a dom, as you will have been with one already.
You should talk to him more about this and what it means to... (read in full...)
How do you trust in a relationship after being cheated on and played so many times?
Q. How do you trust in a relationship after being cheated on and played so many times?...
A. 6 May 2011: Should you trust someone who has cheated on you and played you several times?
I think the answer is no. You don't trust such a person, so why force it?... (read in full...)
I've been told I'm fat and ugly all my life, how do I overcome this and not be so nervous for high-school?
Q. In 7th grade popular 9th grade boys mooed at me (like a cow to point out i was fat) i was 5'10 and 195 pounds. I ignored it at the time and it didn't bother me now looking back at the pictures i see what they were mooing about , they apologized ...
A. 6 May 2011: It sounds like it is due time you have a proper chat with your parents about being bullied by your siblings. Or talk to your siblings, stand up for yourself and tell them to stop calling you names. Why should you have to be put through being bullied ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a woman says she feels smothered?
Q. My wife and I have been together 19 years. We have not had a normal or regular sex life for most of it. We have talked the issue to death and yesterday she agreed she will see a therapist. (I always initiate and she always refuses.) My own pop psyc...
A. 6 May 2011: Being smothered is not about wanting to live as a single person. Being smothered can mean so much, but in general it is about not having a space of your own or peace of mind to think. Like someone else always nagging, or wanting something off of ... (read in full...)
Will the pain stop if we keep trying to have sex?
Q. I don't know what to do ... Me and my neighbour shane both really like each other. When he first came round mine a few days ago we snogged and ended up naked in bed together but we didn't have sex . He came round last night again and more stuff ...
A. 6 May 2011: It doesn't sound like you are using protection!!! Why not? If you do not use protection you will soon have bigger issues to worry about than whether or not sex will ruin your friendship/fling.
No glove no love. No penis tips should be inside y... (read in full...)
Finding out my ex is engaged has just torn my world apart!
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for over 7 months now, back in September, and she started dating her new boyfriend almost a week after ending things with me. She said that she met him when she was with me, however some mutual friends say that she ...
A. 6 May 2011: If it helps, how fast someone gets over another isn't equivalent to how much they loved that person. I recovered pretty fast from the second ex of mine, although I had loved him deeply, even deeper than number one. The breakup was, once again, not ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 6 May 2011: I understand your frustration, especially if he doesn't take you seriously. Perhaps you could tell him that the lack of a healthy sex life is the doom of a relationship. Without a healthy sexual relationship, any relationship will cease to be. By ... (read in full...)
What makes me so incapable of attracting a girl?
Q. I'm 25 and have never in my life had a girlfriend or even anything close. I'm not a virgin but might as well be. I've had sex a total of one time several years ago leaving me with almost no sexual experience and zero relationship experience in my ...
A. 6 May 2011: I don't love the fact that you believe I assume anything about you. Do you usually carry this negative attitude? Do you often interpret words and make them negative and as if they were aimed to attack you?
What I said was never any assumpti... (read in full...)
Finding out my ex is engaged has just torn my world apart!
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for over 7 months now, back in September, and she started dating her new boyfriend almost a week after ending things with me. She said that she met him when she was with me, however some mutual friends say that she ...
A. 6 May 2011: Who's telling you you need to have progressed more than this? Everyone takes their own time, and to not be over your first serious love in only 7 months sounds quite normal. I don't think anyone at all would be completely over their first love after ... (read in full...)
I just found out my fiance is bi after finding an on-line ad he posted!
Q. I have been with my fiance for 6 years and I just recently found out that he is bisexual because I found his ad that he put on craigs list to be bottom/host. He loves to play on the computer when I am sleeping alot. I love him and I know that he ...
A. 5 May 2011: I don't think your biggest concern here is that he is bisexual, but rather that he is cheating on you. He is putting up adds to participate in sexual games, that is cheating. That is why you are feeling uncomfortable about it. Would it have been ok ... (read in full...)
What makes me so incapable of attracting a girl?
Q. I'm 25 and have never in my life had a girlfriend or even anything close. I'm not a virgin but might as well be. I've had sex a total of one time several years ago leaving me with almost no sexual experience and zero relationship experience in my ...
A. 5 May 2011: Ah, Cerberus, I get your point, but when I talked about being clean I didn't mean you have to shower every day. If you look like a hobo or a bum that collects bottles with all your teeth knocked out it is no wonder you don't attract a lady.
I was... (read in full...)
Finding out my ex is engaged has just torn my world apart!
Q. So my ex and I have been broken up for over 7 months now, back in September, and she started dating her new boyfriend almost a week after ending things with me. She said that she met him when she was with me, however some mutual friends say that she ...
A. 5 May 2011: Ignore it. That's what's best for you, do whats best for YOU now, and don't bother with her. She's happy, great. But her being happy doesn't mean you can't. You will find your happiness as well, and it is not a competition of who got there first.
... (read in full...)
I don't want my friend to think I am a pervert, what should I do?
Q. I have been having this strong urge to make love to my female friend. We had sex once before, but that was a drunken night... Now, every time she is around me, I become so sexually aroused to the point of my having to avoid her. She is one of my ...
A. 5 May 2011: Are you in a relationship? How does that work out for you if you are so keen to have sex with another woman? Would you not be making your life easier if you were honest with yourself and became single, seeing as you are lusting after another woman? ... (read in full...)
What makes me so incapable of attracting a girl?
Q. I'm 25 and have never in my life had a girlfriend or even anything close. I'm not a virgin but might as well be. I've had sex a total of one time several years ago leaving me with almost no sexual experience and zero relationship experience in my ...
A. 5 May 2011: Be realistic first, about yourself. Are you overweight? Do you need a haircut? Do you have good hygiene and wear clean clothes? These little things here and there are important to attracting a girl, so before we continue, you need to make sure you ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like an orgasm?
Q. So usually I struggle to reach orgasm. I do sometimes get a 'twitching' feeling in my vagina, am i right in thinking that this is a small orgasm? Recently I have been trying to explore my body more to se what makes me tick. Anyway earlier I was ma...
A. 5 May 2011: Like I always say, you know when you have an orgasm. If you have to ask, then you haven't had one. Once you've had one you will be able to differentiate between a long and strong orgasm, or a lighter shorter one. What you describe doesn't sound like ... (read in full...)
Jealous now that my ex is with someone???
Q. me and my gf have been together for 6 months and are very much in love. but my ex is my concern. many people saw me and my gf as the perfect couple, but we werent so we split up and we were still friends. there has always been a connection and in ...
A. 4 May 2011: Feelings of attachment can linger within you for quite a long time. They took time to build up, and they will take time to fade away. They don't disappear on the day you break up, thats when the process typically begins of starting to let go of ... (read in full...)
Is one of your exes better than your current partner?
Q. Ok guys please be truthful. I want brutal honesty! Are your exes better than your current gf? I realise that your exes are exes for a reason but all that aside, in terms of being a person, being attractive, being more fun/sexier/funni...
A. 4 May 2011: Uhm, she cheated? Doesn't that tell you enough about what a NOT amazing person she is? You wanted it right from the gutter, so here it comes: you need a bonk on your head. She's a cheater! How can you even imagine comparing yourself to such a looser ... (read in full...)
I feel ugly... and have no confidence to face his mum!
Q. I rarely goes to my boyfriend's house because there was once when I have very bad acne and her mum actually asked my boyfriend to bring me to see a doctor. She said that my boyfriend needs to remind me to take care of my face otherwise when I got ...
A. 4 May 2011: I am sure that with time your scars will fade if not go away. Your skin is constantly producing new skin cells and getting rid of the old, so he skin is constantly renewing itself. In addition, with time scars fade and get a colour more similar to ... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to lose your virginity to a Prostitute?
Q. I'm a 28 year old male virgin, who has never had a girlfriend. I have asked dozens of women out in my life though I was always rejected. There were plenty of women that I liked but did not approach them because I knew they had boyfriends already. I ...
A. 4 May 2011: Another point that mishmash didn't bring up, but that I think should be added to how women would feel about getting intimate with you if you have been to a prostitute... A woman would worry that you see her as a prostitute as well. And no woman ... (read in full...)
What's the secret to attracting a woman?
Q. Please tell me what REALLY TURNS ON A WOMEN. What gives her that spark to feel so attracted she'll jump into your arms?...
A. 3 May 2011: Good communication, wonderful eyes that look into my very soul, a warming smile, a calm voice. A man who is honest, sincere, deep, caring. That is what attracts a woman. A man who makes her feel like she is the most special person in the entire ... (read in full...)
We haven't, but one day I would like to. How do I ask her about having a sexual relationship?
Q. Hey guys i need some help with my relationship. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 1 month now and I want to someday have a sexual relationship with her. Can you please ignore my age for this but if you have to know I'm 15 and almost ...
A. 3 May 2011: If I was to ignore your age (although it is silly as every age is considered, and I'd have to imagine you as another age, lets say 20), I'd tell you to let this develop naturally. Adult relationships include sex, unless you have both talked about ... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to lose your virginity to a Prostitute?
Q. I'm a 28 year old male virgin, who has never had a girlfriend. I have asked dozens of women out in my life though I was always rejected. There were plenty of women that I liked but did not approach them because I knew they had boyfriends already. I ...
A. 3 May 2011: "a) "You'll have a problem if you tell your future wife you lost it to an escort" True, but only if she's a virgin. If she's had her fair share of boyfriends, surely she carries more baggage." Not unless she paid any of those guys to sleep ... (read in full...)
Doe it mean he's trustworthy if he wants to be your Facebook friend?
Q. Simple question, if a guy you're seeing wants to be friends on facebook, is this a good sign that he is genuine? Because i think that if were friends on there, then he is honest about not having a girlfriend or dating anyone else. Like he doesn't ...
A. 3 May 2011: It doesn't mean anything if he adds you on facebook or not. If he wanted to lie about having a girlfriend on the side he could easily do that even if he's on facebook, do you for example know just how many accounts you can have on facebook? If y... (read in full...)
Our relationship lacks intimacy and sex!
Q. My husband has never wanted to kiss me or caress me. I am not ugly, I take care of myself and exercise an wear makeup well. If I try to kiss him he scrunches his nose like I am a disease. I have to give him head but he never gives it to me. If I ...
A. 3 May 2011: At what point did he stop wanting to be affectionate? Was it sudden, or did it develop over time? And to you remember about when you first noticed that he was being less affectionate? How does he react when you talk to him about it? I don't know ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel this way?
Q. Hey guys! I was just wondering something. When you're in a relationship, do you ever get bored of the person you're with and find faults with them easily? This happens all the time with me and is the main reason I find it hard to make relationshi...
A. 3 May 2011: Two options: 1. You're with the wrong person. If you're with the right person you might get annoyed at times, but not that often. And even if you do at times, your love for them, or affection for them, will be a lot stronger and you wont get fixa... (read in full...)
Does it really hurt that much to have sex the 1st time?
Q. My mom told me this "since you are now 14 and have a boyfriend I want you to be more careful with your actions. Don't do it it with him. It hurts to have sex for the first time and it hurts even worse to have a baby" is that true??? Does it rea...
A. 3 May 2011: Btw, the reason is bleeds is because the hymen is broken, the reason it hurts is not all about the hymen. It hurts because nothing of that size has ever been pushed up inside of you and you are narrow and the penis is big. So you stretch out, and ... (read in full...)
Does it really hurt that much to have sex the 1st time?
Q. My mom told me this "since you are now 14 and have a boyfriend I want you to be more careful with your actions. Don't do it it with him. It hurts to have sex for the first time and it hurts even worse to have a baby" is that true??? Does it rea...
A. 3 May 2011: Yes, it is true. It depends on the individual, but for most women it hurts. For some it is very painful, for others it is a mild pain. The pain can last for days.
But other than the physical pain, it has an impact on your emotions as well. It... (read in full...)
How dos an 18 year old introvert get laid?
Q. I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin but I'm not very bothered by this, except when my friends make jokes about me and when I get the horn on. So, I'm coming to realise that I know absolutely nothing about how to get into a girls pants. I understa...
A. 3 May 2011: You get a girlfriend and stop focusing on using women for sex. With a girlfriend typically comes sex naturally. If you just want to get laid and use women for sex you need to develop sleazeball techniques, and I'd rather not teach you how to do that ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 29 April 2011: Him being too sore doesn't change the fact that there is little sex, so how exactly did that conversation with him go? Has it always been this way with him? Or did the sex decline once you moved in together? Guy's aren't always as interested in se... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
