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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Isn't it time for me to be happy and move on?
Q. Me and my best friend have been in love with eachother for 2 1/2 years but he has been with his gf for 4 years. I never ever ever had any intention of trying to break them up! Infact two years ago when we confessed we were in love with eachother, I ...
A. 24 May 2011: Yeah this guy doesn't truly love you, sorry. If he did he would have left his gf long time ago.
And if he was unable, unlikely but ok, he should have been the one to "end it" as you put it. He's the one who's having an emotional affair after al... (read in full...)
I feel I had an unnecessary abortion, how do I stop crying over this??
Q. Im an emotional wreck after having a termination 3 months ago. My boyfriend and i planned the pregnancy and he promised me he would step upto the mark, move into my place and that we would get married as soon as i got pregnant. I had no reason to...
A. 24 May 2011: Yes, now you can begin to move on. Talking helps. Time also heals some wounds, and it will get better. You're still young and there is plenty of time to find your happiness, and you will work your way through this. Stay strong and remember that you ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my mom and bdsm but when I tried she said she'd send me to a therapist!
Q. I am a masochist and I learned that I like bdsm. I mentioned the subject to my mom and asked what she thought and she told me that if I liked that stuff she'd send me to a doctor to get checked out. I dot think there's anything wrong with me. But I ...
A. 24 May 2011: Even if you like bdsm you don't need to get bruised up. I too question if the person you are playing these games with know what they are doing, because there shouldn't be bruises so visible to the public. People who are into bdsm don't walk around ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I have these sexual dreams of being abused?
Q. hey it feels rather uncomfortable asking this, but i've no idea who else to talk to. I'll try to be brief but i'm sorry if it isn't. well i'm 16 and i'm a virgin, and i'm happy that way, i want to save it for someone special. but recently i've be...
A. 24 May 2011: It's just a fantasy. It is completely normal, and having a fantasy is no indication of what you would prefer in real life. Some fantasies you want to live, but in real life being mistreated, raped, abused, is not fun, and no one would enjoy that, ... (read in full...)
Was he offended by my height?
Q. I am an outgoing 27 year old female. I am 5 foot 4 1/2 and slender. I recently had a date with a guy and went to the river. I wore flip flops because of the rocks, he (6 foot 3) thought that I was taller (I wear heels a lot) Was he offended by my ...
A. 23 May 2011: No. ... (read in full...)
If a girl gives out her contact info to a guy without any intention of dating him, is it leading him on???
Q. ok this friend of mine (a girl) got into an argument recently and i would love to hear your opinion on this. she is very pretty and she gets hit upon a lot. she is very friendly too so she engages guys in conversations. then they inevitably ask f...
A. 23 May 2011: She's naive, and a c¤¤ktease. Excuse the language. I too get annoyed at girls like that, but there's worse out there. The ones who think they are just being friendly while they are in fact doing heavy flirting. It is quite obvious if a guy wants ... (read in full...)
I want to see my b/f more but he won't make the effort
Q. How often should a couple spend time together. Ive being with my bf for nearly 8 month and we see each other 2 nights a week. One day in the week and a saturday. We live in the same area. he could walk to mine in 3or4 mins. I want to see him more ...
A. 23 May 2011: Doesn't seem to want to? What do you mean by that precisely? Has he directly told you he doesn't want to see you more often? Does he tell you "I don't want to" when you ask to meet-up? Does he screen your calls and not pick up when you call to talk? ... (read in full...)
I don't understand relationships
Q. I really need some help. Im 22 and ive never had a gf. i've never understood how the relationships work. it seems quit complicated for me. and i don't like do things without figure it out what i'm doing.u know makes me feel like a...
A. 23 May 2011: It's not about feeling comfortable with another or not, not in the way you describe it anyhow. It is about having a connection, wanting the same thing, having the attributes you look for in a partner.
Relationships work like this: two single p... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on getting wet naturally?
Q. Hi everyone1. Please i need help. Am so worried about getting dry whenever i am having sex with my boyfriend. On many occasions we have to stop d sex and use gel or saliva just to get wet before we continue. Please is there anything i can do to get ...
A. 23 May 2011: I don't think so. Continuing to use lubricant is a good idea if you feel you are getting dry. If you continue when dry you can end up hurting yourself, and the sex will also be painful.
However, I must ask if you use condoms? Condoms always d... (read in full...)
Guys from other countries--would you consider a US girlfriend?
Q. Guys from the United States as well as other countries, can you please opine on this? I am not putting down my country or my compatriates but sometimes I wish I weren't American! Sometimes it feels like a real cross to bear. I would LIKE to...
A. 23 May 2011: I don't think it is because you are American, that in itself is just your nationality (if you identify as an American that is). However, culture is often linked to nationality... and stereotypes, however banal, are rooted in some general ... (read in full...)
My bestfriend confessed his feelings to my (sort of) girlfriend
Q. This may be a bit of a long read and for that I'm sorry. Basically, for the past 5 years I have been in love with my best friend, and after a lot of drama in the past 6 months we've finally decided to give it a go. We aren't public, because we ...
A. 23 May 2011: Thank you for clarifying this, and I understand your question better now. You want to know what to do with the friend... well, from how I understand it, and you must see it the same way, he's not acting in your best interest, on in her best ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him about our relationship going too fast?
Q. I’m not very religious. But my last boyfriend of a little less than 2years was very religious. Because of that, we didn’t have sex. We broke up just under 2 months ago. I’m seeing a guy that I go to college with. His name is Martin and he is not a ...
A. 23 May 2011: You just need to talk to him. I don't know exactly what you should say, you're the better judge of that. You mentioned things he does that unintentionally puts pressure on you. Just tell him what things, and say it as it is: you know he's not doing ... (read in full...)
My bf thought I was asleep and started masturbating to porn. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi new to this! But just wondering. Iv been with my boyfreind for 6months now and we live in our own flat. Everythings great etc and Yesterday we had sex during The day, and I fell asleep in bed cuddled up to my boyfriend about 1am this morning...
A. 23 May 2011: This is how you feel about it, and the solution is simple: he stops masturbating to porn in front of you, or in the same room as you. He can masturbate in front of you and in the same room as you, right? You just don't want to see/hear the porn he's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend behaves like a 5 year old!
Q. my boyfriend behaves like a five yr old. i love him we met on freshers week i had just come out of a bad relationship and needed someone who really appreciated me, and he did he told me all the time how beautiful i was brought me gifts unexpectedly, ...
A. 23 May 2011: My experience tells me that it takes about a year before someone shows their true side. He wasn't always like this you say, well I am going to argue against that. I think he always was, is, and will be, like this. What you saw at the beginning of ... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with me? Every guy I've dated they have broken up with me!
Q. Every guy I have gone out with has broken up with me and i dont know why! I try not to be so clingy, I try not to hug all of my guy friends all the time. I dont know what I do wrong. It seems as if I'll always be lonely :(...
A. 23 May 2011: You're a teenager. That's the answer to all your questions. This is what happens when people are immature, don't know yet who they are or what they want, hormones are raging, and everything is over dramatized.
This doesn't say anything at all a... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my mom and bdsm but when I tried she said she'd send me to a therapist!
Q. I am a masochist and I learned that I like bdsm. I mentioned the subject to my mom and asked what she thought and she told me that if I liked that stuff she'd send me to a doctor to get checked out. I dot think there's anything wrong with me. But I ...
A. 23 May 2011: I'm sorry, but you're a grown woman now. Your mother and you can stay close, but your sex life is none of her business and she doesn't want to know about it! It's your private business. Do you want to know about your mothers sex life??
You c... (read in full...)
My lover said its none of my business if she's cheating on me!
Q. Have been dating my lover for the past 11mnths and i discovered about 2 weeks ago that she is having afair with another guy. I accused her for this yesterday night and she said it is non of my business if she is cheating on me then she slapped me. ...
A. 23 May 2011: If she's not your girlfriend then she is free to have sex with whomever she pleases and there is nothing you should do about that.
If you are uncomfortable about her having sex with other men you need to make her your official girlfrie... (read in full...)
Retro-active Jealousy With A Difference
Q. I know that this topic has been covered but not from my situation so I would genuinely appreciate any help. I had a healthy sex life up until 27. about 12 partners, lot's of fun, innocent enough sex. Nothing out of left field as it where. I woul...
A. 23 May 2011: You feel you've been wronged? In what way?
Your wife isn't the problem, you are. Why walk away from her then (if it wasn't for your daughter, I know), you wont be able to ever walk away from yourself. So your problems will only follow you.
... (read in full...)
Bigger boyfriend has made me looser?
Q. Super quick question! Recently I've been having sex with my boyfriend who is very very well endowed. He's the biggest I've ever had in me and sometimes it's even very painful. But, a couple minutes ago I was fingering myself and it just felt looser. ...
A. 23 May 2011: Yes. You get looser from having a big penis in you often. It's your vagina that stretches out to fit him better, and with time the sex wont be (as) painful, but feel better.
Once you stop having sex with him, give it a few years or so, and you ... (read in full...)
My bestfriend confessed his feelings to my (sort of) girlfriend
Q. This may be a bit of a long read and for that I'm sorry. Basically, for the past 5 years I have been in love with my best friend, and after a lot of drama in the past 6 months we've finally decided to give it a go. We aren't public, because we ...
A. 23 May 2011: Set me straight if I misunderstood this. Your story was complicated to follow, especially the facebook and chat-log thing. I didn't understand that at all. So I will try to sum up how I understand the situation, and if I'm wrong just correct me.
... (read in full...)
Three really is a crowd
Q. alright, i've been here before... asking about the safest way to broach the topic of a threesome with a couple i know. but i'm a punk, and while drinking tends to loosen many people's inhibitions, mine are fairly deep rooted, so it would take more ...
A. 23 May 2011: What do you feel? Your question was not clear enough. Do you have feelings for a couple you are friends with? Do you want just sex with them? Ore one of them? How close are you? And what sort of "break" do you mean, when you have no relationship ... (read in full...)
What is it about musicians?
Q. What is it about musicians that makes them so bloody attractive!? Such as singers, drummers, guitarists those sort of people who I used to hear on television shows people saying about how musicians are irresistible and that you shouldn't date a ...
A. 23 May 2011: I meant it's not about the ability to play music, of course ;)... (read in full...)
What is it about musicians?
Q. What is it about musicians that makes them so bloody attractive!? Such as singers, drummers, guitarists those sort of people who I used to hear on television shows people saying about how musicians are irresistible and that you shouldn't date a ...
A. 23 May 2011: Take a look at the guy who plays flute in the orchestra. Does he look sexy too?
Didn't think so. Then, we know for sure it's about about the ability to play music or read notes.
You're on the right line of thinking when you say they have an... (read in full...)
He lied about his age...Turns out he is 18!
Q. Hmmm so the guy I am dating is away for a month,visiting his family....and today I found out he lied to me about his age. he's a professional soccer player so I looked up his name and found his age. How we met : We were on the same bus on our...
A. 22 May 2011: ... a friends with benefits position is probably heaven on earth for him. ... (read in full...)
About to be married and I'm terrified... Help!
Q. Hi, I need help here please. i am an 18 year old who is about to get married, ive had lots of friends with benefits in the past and 2 serious boyfriends. I love my 22 year old boyfriend so much i feel and im sure he is the one for me. We love each ...
A. 22 May 2011: How long time do you have left to think? When is the date set? Is it possible you might cancel or postpone it, and give yourself and your fiancé more time together before taking that bog step?
How old were you in your past relationships that you... (read in full...)
He lied about his age...Turns out he is 18!
Q. Hmmm so the guy I am dating is away for a month,visiting his family....and today I found out he lied to me about his age. he's a professional soccer player so I looked up his name and found his age. How we met : We were on the same bus on our...
A. 22 May 2011: It's not a harsh response really. It is quite normal to not accept being lied to. I'd be even stricter than you and dismiss him altogether, you're actually a bit soft on him since you want to continue hanging out. But, you do what you feel is best ... (read in full...)
Can he stop me from moving?
Q. Hi, some advice please. I have an 11 month old son, I split from his dad, my husband due to him having an affair. Now I decided I wanted to leave the area to make a fresh start for myself and my son as they only live around the corner from me and I ...
A. 22 May 2011: Don't know your laws, but in Norway one parent can stop the other from moving. Although there are many factors involved and you need to take it all the way to divide custody of the child and discuss parental rights, and decide with custody-court (I ... (read in full...)
He lied about his age...Turns out he is 18!
Q. Hmmm so the guy I am dating is away for a month,visiting his family....and today I found out he lied to me about his age. he's a professional soccer player so I looked up his name and found his age. How we met : We were on the same bus on our...
A. 22 May 2011: As for his car, I forgot to mention this. It might be he has a car, who knows. And that's just it... you don't know. I wouldn't trust it. I actually was in a relationship with a liar, and he was very convincing. He told me he had a car, showed me ... (read in full...)
He lied about his age...Turns out he is 18!
Q. Hmmm so the guy I am dating is away for a month,visiting his family....and today I found out he lied to me about his age. he's a professional soccer player so I looked up his name and found his age. How we met : We were on the same bus on our...
A. 22 May 2011: I already said what I think. He's by no means "mature". In what world is it mature to be ashamed of your age and lye about it? If it is to a person who doesn't matter, whatever, but lying to a person you're hoping to enter a relationship with?? ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my friend's smoking?
Q. I recently found out recently that my friend is a smoker. Apparently she has been since the age of 13. Where I live it's the law that you have to be eighteen to smoke. She's still only sixteen. I'm usually alright with keeping her other secrets, but ...
A. 22 May 2011: Actually, she's not the one breaking the law as much as she's ruining her own body. The person who is really breaking the law is the person who gives/buys her the cigarettes. Do you know who that is?
Police do not have the resources to deal wit... (read in full...)
Is 8 months too soon to know you want to settle down with someone?
Q. Hey, I'd love your advice on my situation and on whether 8 months is too soon to feel like you want to settle down with someone, please. I've been with my bf 8 months now. We met through friends, both of us happily single and not looking for rela...
A. 22 May 2011: First things first. 8 months is not too soon to be thinking about these things. 8 months I would say is too soon to actually get married, or actually have a baby. But thinking, and evaluating it, is by all means fine. That can happen at any stage of ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me. I'm shocked and it hurts. What can I do?
Q. Dear agony aunts, help me! I'll try to keep it short: Me and the ex-boyfriend are in our early 20s. College students. Up until yesterday my life was completely normal. I didn't suspect anything was out of the ordinary. I went to my boyfri...
A. 22 May 2011: I think you need to accept this. It's no good holding on to someone who just wants to break free.
Give him some years off. He broke up for a good enough reason, he's looking for something else than you. To you he was perfect, but to him you're n... (read in full...)
What is a good way to celebrate our first anniversary?
Q. Hi all :) Next week my boyfriend and i will have been together a year and i'm looking for a great/interesting way to celebrate it. We are both 18 and still live with our parents and he has work 5 - 7.30 on that day Any ideas would be appri...
A. 22 May 2011: Get him a card, or write a cute text to him while he's at work. Then make plans to celebrate on a day you and him have time to get together and do something proper. ... (read in full...)
I feel I had an unnecessary abortion, how do I stop crying over this??
Q. Im an emotional wreck after having a termination 3 months ago. My boyfriend and i planned the pregnancy and he promised me he would step upto the mark, move into my place and that we would get married as soon as i got pregnant. I had no reason to...
A. 22 May 2011: Leave your boyfriend. Im am very sorry for what you have experienced, and feel for you. And one thing stands very clear: your boyfriend needs to go. He dropped you as soon as things got too tough for him. He is unbelievable. You did right, do not ... (read in full...)
He stands up when his 10 year old sister enters the room, is this too much?
Q. What would you think of a guy (27) who is handsome, has a good job and basically has everything going right for him who actually physically stands up as a gesture of respect for his 10 years younger sister (17) when she enters the room and makes her ...
A. 22 May 2011: You're closer in age to his sister. Not that this age gap would be such a difficult one, but your question speaks of you not having much life experience, or focusing on things that do not matter.
So what if he stands up for his sister? Too weir... (read in full...)
He lied about his age...Turns out he is 18!
Q. Hmmm so the guy I am dating is away for a month,visiting his family....and today I found out he lied to me about his age. he's a professional soccer player so I looked up his name and found his age. How we met : We were on the same bus on our...
A. 22 May 2011: There is no more obvious sign of a person being immature, and not taking you seriously, than this. He lied about his age. Don't excuse this with anything. If he was serious about you he'd own up to how old he was, if not right there and then, then ... (read in full...)
Does a bad experience with one guy color her judgement towards all future guys in her life?
Q. Why and how can a bad experience with one guy change someone to change how she looks and thinks about certain things, have trust issues and be more guarded but confident? I know it sounds silly, but i'm just interested how one guy can have this af...
A. 20 May 2011: The one guy can only have such an affect on her if she's emotionally unbalanced. So it's not about what sort of guy you need to create that scenario, it's about what sort of girl you're dealing with.
If they lack confidence in themselv... (read in full...)
I want her so crazy it is driving me crazy. Should I go after her?
Q. Ok I am an 18 year old male, and met a hot 16 year old female. She is super sexy, and fiesty, and the chemistry is on between us. I accidently saw a pic of her nude, and it turned me on out of this world. Should I go after her and have wild sex all ...
A. 20 May 2011: Does she want you? Is it legal? Do you think she wants a relationship or just mad sex?
If all you feel for her is horniness maybe it's time you take a cold shower. ... (read in full...)
Do my feelings make me a lesbian?
Q. I'm even more confused. My best friend is a girl and you see I'm also a girl and I am seriously developing strong feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her. She is in the military and she is about to deploy. Should I tell her how I feel? ...
A. 20 May 2011: You're only a lesbian if you have never been attracted, or in love, with a man, and do not find men sexy, but only women.
Does it really matter if you are a lesbian or not? If you have strong feelings for her, does that mean you want to be in a ... (read in full...)
Are there any ways to increase girth?
Q. I am writing because my boyfriend is starting to develop insecurities about his penis size. I have had bigger in both length and girth, but it isn't his length that bothers him. I was wondering if there was any possible way to increase the girth of ...
A. 20 May 2011: You can buy a masturbator, sort of a tube like device that you put on around the penis. That will make it thicker.
Other than that, there is no way to change penis size, and if you've had larger do not ever tell him. ... (read in full...)
I am really sexually confused.and need advice.
Q. I will be 18 this year and I am still a virgin and the reason why is because I'm so confused and scared. So I spend time watching porn gay and straight and I am so sexually confused. I find a gay interesting first and ive been looking since about ...
A. 20 May 2011: The solution is to stop focusing so much on sex and trying to label yourself and force yourself to do something.
Step one: get a partner. Be that a girl or a boy. See of it goes. If you don't feel it's a good match, end the relation... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
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