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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 2 June 2011: You could try to have a stern talk with her so the message is getting through. Tell her for example that you will not co-sign anything, give out your financial information, do anything joint financially with her, as that is preserved for marriage. ... (read in full...)
It bothered me that my BF went to his first love's birthday party. This is a girl he's had feeling for, for many yrs and she's always snubbed him. Thoughts...?
Q. My boyfriend of two years discovered his first love at age 10. He loved this girl from age 10 to 18. He "moved on" when he went away to college. The love was never returned and throughout that time he told her many times that he loved her and she ...
A. 2 June 2011: It's ok to have a soft spot for someone, it isn't dangerous to your relationship. Parents always have soft spots for their children, and THAT often comes at the expense of a new partner. Children are also always prioritized, which is understandable. ... (read in full...)
It bothered me that my BF went to his first love's birthday party. This is a girl he's had feeling for, for many yrs and she's always snubbed him. Thoughts...?
Q. My boyfriend of two years discovered his first love at age 10. He loved this girl from age 10 to 18. He "moved on" when he went away to college. The love was never returned and throughout that time he told her many times that he loved her and she ...
A. 2 June 2011: In two years time, can you not tell if he's over her or not? Can you not tell if he's into YOU or not?
I understand your concern, this is something that would have bothered me too, but I'll have to put this down to jealousy, and not a real thr... (read in full...)
Our sex life has dwindled and she now has problems having an orgasm, what is going on?
Q. Hi guys. My question will contain sexual references-just a forewarning. So I have been with my girlfriend for over three years now. We are still in love and there are rarely moments we have major arguments. My problem is our sex life. When we...
A. 1 June 2011: I think her lack of interest in more sex, and her lack of orgasms, are the same things. They're not separate issues. After the honeymoon period... as I've been told tings cool down. For some. It hasn't cooled down for you, you're still into sex. But ... (read in full...)
Should cuddles only be reserved for your lover?
Q. Aren't cuddles just meant for your lover as it's an initmate thing, what do you think of this, is the action of cuddling friends accpetable? (I don't cuddle my friends nor my family as I find it werid)...
A. 1 June 2011: All is relative and people are, in the end, all different. What you think is weird is another's normal, and there really are no rules that all couples need to obey. You and her are the ones that decide the rules of your relationship. The outside ... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 1 June 2011: I understand what you meant. And it is logical, as an independent person, you want another independent person to be with, otherwise you'd feel trapped. A person who leans more on the controlling side would love a dependent girl, someone who needs ... (read in full...)
What to do when a girl keeps flaking?
Q. So,there was this girl I used to date (note: first and only girl ive ever dated past a first date)... I liked her a lot. If i had a list of everything I wanted in a girl, it would have been her. We dated for like a month and a half...but she was ...
A. 1 June 2011: "If i had a list of everything I wanted in a girl, it would have been her. We dated for like a month and a half...but she was always busy, and I could never find time to spend together outside of class, and i ended it"
If she was everythi... (read in full...)
What she is telling me and what I have found online doesn't add up, how do I know if she is telling the truth?
Q. my wife is abroad for about 2 and a half years. i don't know if she is telling truth or not that she is not having sex with another man. i hacked her yahoo and facebook id. i found many mans ids and their reaction was not positive. how can i know ...
A. 1 June 2011: You can't know if she tells the truth or not, but you can trust your hunch. What do you think? Do you feel betrayed, and do you have sufficient reason to feel this way? ... (read in full...)
What is the proper place of sexual attraction in a relationship?
Q. Aunts, you know, here is my issues: over and over I have fallen for a girl because she gets me excited. She is hot, sexy and attractive. So I enter a relationship with her only to find we are not oompatible at all! She and I clash with our values ...
A. 1 June 2011: "Should a person try to curb his or her fire for someone in order to get to know them as a person?"
Exactly. Don't have sex until you are in a committed relationship. And for you to end up in a relationship, you got to get to know them first. G... (read in full...)
He denies sleeping with her, but she is saying it is true!
Q. I am four month pregnant with my boyfriends baby, I found Messages on his facebook suggesting he was doing something. I've asked him and he says he hasn't, I have asked her and she tells me that he has been seeing her and that they have had sex more...
A. 31 May 2011: Leave the woman alone. And leave your man to be with her, this isn't right, and this guy of yours is not worth keeping.... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling my dad that I'm gay?
Q. My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids ...
A. 31 May 2011: Then you wait for the right time. There is no need to hurry.... (read in full...)
I want to marry one of my friends, but her response to that isn't good...
Q. Hi friends plz plz plz help me, i am in big big trouble, i've a friend and now i want her as my girl friend because i want to marry with her, she is not giving me positive reply, i want her to tell her parents about me so that i may proceed but she ...
A. 31 May 2011: What is the best option for you, to not have her in your life at all, or to have her in your life as a friend?
Choose one. You have made it clear that you want her as a wife, but for that to happen she needs to choose that she wants you as a hus... (read in full...)
My girlfriend stayed out for the night and told me she had to share a bed with another man! This is unacceptable to me. What does everyone else think?
Q. My partner went on a night out with her work mates and missed the late train back. See was with two females and 1 male - so they got a family room at a hotel. When she got back the next morning she told me she had to share a bed with the male...
A. 31 May 2011: If this was a one time off, I say acceptable. If anything the man should have been gentleman enough to sleep on the floor, but he didn't. And even if you are able to sleep on the floor, not all people feel as comfortable with it.
If clothes ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out if he cheated on me or if he got this girl pregnant before we got together, and now the baby's mom wants to fight me!
Q. Okay my boyfriend and I have been dating going on a year in two months. I was going threw his phone to prove him wrong about a text that I sent him, this was back in October. We were just playing around like always and I found a text stating "I love ...
A. 31 May 2011: Try to call the girl and let her know you don't know what's going on, and that if your boyfriend had cheated on you you'd not want to be with him, so she can have him all to himself if that is the case.
Why are you with this man after he admitted... (read in full...)
He denies sleeping with her, but she is saying it is true!
Q. I am four month pregnant with my boyfriends baby, I found Messages on his facebook suggesting he was doing something. I've asked him and he says he hasn't, I have asked her and she tells me that he has been seeing her and that they have had sex more...
A. 31 May 2011: I agree with fatelove, she doesn't want to say yes or no to you because she is trying to stay out of it. She knows that if she says yes, you will probably leave him, and she doesn't want to be the reason for that. She doesn't want to get involved.
... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling my dad that I'm gay?
Q. My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids ...
A. 31 May 2011: It doesn't matter. If it is important to you that he knows, you could give it a shot at telling him. But unless it comes up, I don't think you need to tell him really. He'll figure it out on day soon when you get a boyfriend, but he doesn't need to ... (read in full...)
He denies sleeping with her, but she is saying it is true!
Q. I am four month pregnant with my boyfriends baby, I found Messages on his facebook suggesting he was doing something. I've asked him and he says he hasn't, I have asked her and she tells me that he has been seeing her and that they have had sex more...
A. 31 May 2011: What does your hunch tell you? Does this woman have any reason to tell lies, seeing as she doesn't know you? Who is she to him?
Does HE have any reason to lie? Plenty.
I think he did cheat, and I think the woman tells the truth. But in ei... (read in full...)
Am I just an arrogant american?
Q. Is it wrong for thinking my home country (U.S.A.) is the greatest country in the world? I come from a military family, and have such a deep respect for our armed forces. I am not the most patriotic person in the world, of course I do not trust the ...
A. 31 May 2011: The arrogance comes when you say things like "we have indeed made the world in some cases an even safer place." as if you are better than other countries and other countries don't contribute in any way to world society.
Listen... the USA haven't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend still wants more after I finish. What do I do?
Q. my girlfriend has an extremely high sex drive, and once i 'finish' she still wants more. what do i do?...
A. 31 May 2011: Go down on her and use your fingers too. ... (read in full...)
Am I just an arrogant american?
Q. Is it wrong for thinking my home country (U.S.A.) is the greatest country in the world? I come from a military family, and have such a deep respect for our armed forces. I am not the most patriotic person in the world, of course I do not trust the ...
A. 30 May 2011: I've never met a Russian who told me Russia was the best country in the world. I've actually never met anyone from anywhere else but the USA that would be as stubborn, blind, and arrogant to declare that they are "God's chosen people and live in the ... (read in full...)
How do I end the relationship when we hardly speak?
Q. hey... everyone, i got this kind of confusion.. about my long distance relationship... am 17 and he's 21 and its been a year that we are apart.. but now i somehow feel that we need 2 end it.. but i dont know how to as we hardly speak cause he is ...
A. 30 May 2011: Call him then. Or just write the e-mail and be patient. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 30 May 2011: You need to decide what you want. One minute you're asking her to move in with you, and she practically is, with your blessing. Next you tell her to get back to her own place, how dare she act as if she lives at YOUR place?
It's not a matter o... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl to bleed even at the third time of sex?
Q. so about half month ago I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and i sort of bled a lot that we had to stop. I had some spotting for the following few days, which seemed to be normal according to what others say online. Then 4 days later ...
A. 30 May 2011: Well, any size that hurts you when he enters is large to you. It's not supposed to hurt when you have sex. Im a bit "tight" down there, so need to be gentle when inserting the penis, even if it is a medium. It takes a while to extend your vagina to ... (read in full...)
Can an abusive person change their ways?
Q. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have 2 young children. He is an abusive person - physically, mentally, emotionally. I must have known this for years but have chosen to ignore it but today, I am accepting that I am an abused wife. I ...
A. 30 May 2011: I don't think talking will help. Action however might. Although, Im not sure there is anything in your power to be done. I believe a man can change their way when put through a shocking experience, life threatening, or at the brink of losing ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to get erections for no reason?
Q. Is it normal for men (not teenage boys) to get and erection for no reason? My boyfriend gets them supposedly for no reason..he is in his late 20s. I am aware of morning wood and so on and so forth, but we will be doing something as simple as ...
A. 30 May 2011: Normal or not it isn't dangerous. Nor is it anything you should be insulted by, if he can't help it he can't help it. It is his body having a reaction after all, not him flirting or doing anything consciously!
I don't sit and watch my boyfrien... (read in full...)
Why isn't there any English dating sites?
Q. There seems to be every dating site for everyone else: muslim, latinos, asians, but none for English. Why is this? My family originates from England and my father was born there. My dads side is still very English in their ways. I like dating E...
A. 30 May 2011: Aren't there plenty of dating sites? Like pletyoffish.com?... (read in full...)
110 guys before me??
Q. how do i deal with the fact that my wife has been with 110 guys beffore me 107 all f buddys or one nighr stands and i know knew 20 of them? i feel like a fool. one guy did her in a bathroom at a party and never spoke to her.....
A. 30 May 2011: How did you manage to have a problem with it yet marry her? Was it not a problem in the past? Can you remember why it was not a problem for you in the past? And what about it specifically is it that is a problem to you now? Does it impact your ... (read in full...)
Am I just an arrogant american?
Q. Is it wrong for thinking my home country (U.S.A.) is the greatest country in the world? I come from a military family, and have such a deep respect for our armed forces. I am not the most patriotic person in the world, of course I do not trust the ...
A. 30 May 2011: Thinking your country is the best country in the world is arrogant, yes. Regardless of where you are from, anyone, from any country, would be arrogant for saying or thinking that. Such a thought includes ranking countries, grading them, based on no ... (read in full...)
23 Years Old and Emotionally Retarded Needs Advice/Help/A Saving Grace...
Q. A case of being emotionally retarded... Hope the women in here can help... I am 23 years old, and have casually browsed through dearcupid for a while now only to realize I am not the only 23 y/o who has never had any close physical contact w...
A. 30 May 2011: You described your own problem very well, so there is no point in asking us what your problem is.
"I think one of my issues is that I cannot for the life of me read other people well."
"My view on relationships is that I want to be okay with my... (read in full...)
I love (?) my best friends older brother. There, I said it. With a 5 year difference, I don't stand a chance with him, do I?
Q. So I've lived next door to the "smiths" for 5 years (summer before 5th grade) and the two daughters Hannah (15) and Lydia (17) are my best friends ever and their younger brother Eli (13 but pretty mature) is also a good friend of mine too, anyways, ...
A. 30 May 2011: Can you explain this a bit better? "Things like that are my downfall and heres another kicker; he has a girlfriend. I know what your thinking, I'm crazy, but when he's at school he only sees her 1-2 times a week, and for the past 3 months he's been ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't support himself, doesn't seek out jobs, is a druggie, can't drive, wont educate himself, is overweight, and wants to marry me! Do I stick to it and try to find him a job, again?
Q. Hello, are u ready to read?? I don't know what to do anymore, we've been going out for more than 3 years now and he has never got a job. We are 25 years old, i'm a university student and i work and live with my parents, so i do have a little i...
A. 30 May 2011: Every relationship has pro's and con's. Typically, it is a question of how much is too much. In this case it is not difficult to see that this is a dysfunctional relationship. Sure, he makes you happy, and you make him happy. But, really?
You w... (read in full...)
My GF broke up with me saying that once she finds someone that has potential for the long run, she no longer wants to be in a relationship anymore!!!
Q. One week ago my girlfriend broke up with me at the beginning of summer. We've been together for some time now and it felt like the breakup came out of nowhere since we had fun with each other earlier that day (interestingly enough, this is the exact ...
A. 30 May 2011: When someone breaks up with you, or if you have decided to end a relationship yourself, you must always follow through with it. Don't try to get them back, don't try to fix things or go on accord with yourself. Don't try to change, improve, make ... (read in full...)
Six months and still he's delaying making out. Should I continue? Why is he so reluctant?
Q. My boyfriend an I have been going out for 6 months now. We have kissed before, but i really want to make out with him. I have dropped subtle hints and even plain out told him. He says he wants to also, but will not follow through. I keep thin...
A. 30 May 2011: It's not something you discuss, it's something you do. Make out with him. Next time you kiss, go for it. What's there to discuss? He's probably just shy, and doesn't know how to do it, so you have to take the lead instead of waiting for him to make ... (read in full...)
Do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls?
Q. I want you opinions men and women! I want to know do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls? i used to be rake thin and prided my self on that but now im older i have got bigger and im worried men wont fancy me as me! Given a choice what sort ...
A. 30 May 2011: angelDlite brings up a good point. Healthy is the most attractive. Healthy and happy. ... (read in full...)
Do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls?
Q. I want you opinions men and women! I want to know do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls? i used to be rake thin and prided my self on that but now im older i have got bigger and im worried men wont fancy me as me! Given a choice what sort ...
A. 30 May 2011: Is it that difficult to imagine that different men have different tastes? As a bisexual I would prefer a woman with curves, as Im not attracted to thin girls, although personality triumphs all body types. As a thin framed woman myself I don't have a ... (read in full...)
Last night I danced with a guy, I really like him... but I've got a boyfriend
Q. Dear Cupid, I really need some advice for this problem. Ok so i have a boyfriend of almost 3 months now. Hes a great guy, whose sweet and funny and cute.(IRONIC i had ended with my ex to go with him, because my ex was being a jerk) However ...
A. 30 May 2011: It's destructive to your relationship, as well as unfair, to flirt with another guy. I think you need to focus on what you want, a good relationship with your boyfriend, or to flirt with this other guy. You can't really have both, it's not fair to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a girl to bleed even at the third time of sex?
Q. so about half month ago I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and i sort of bled a lot that we had to stop. I had some spotting for the following few days, which seemed to be normal according to what others say online. Then 4 days later ...
A. 30 May 2011: When you bleed, does it also hurt? Or is it just blood?
I've bled when the penis has been too thick and it's actually torn me up. But, the pain at those times has been noticeable to put it that way, also the bleeding didn't last for long.
... (read in full...)
Here I am, on a bad economical market with no plan B. How can I get back on track?
Q. Okay, this is not a relationship question, but I need your help anyway. To cut to the chase: I'm a 24 year old woman and I'm not sure about what to do with my life. I'm going to give some backstory. Sorry if it's boring, but I need someone to ...
A. 29 May 2011: I'm not a career adviser, but here's what I personally do. Make a plan C. And D, as in worst case scenario that isn't half bad anyway. Preferably something a little exotic and untraditional to make it fun. My plan D is being a bus-driver, hardly ... (read in full...)
I'm an awkward duck, and not comfortable with myself. Therefore, love isn't in the cards for me. Right??
Q. The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with my family or 2 of my friends whom I have known for years. Other than that, I find it so hard to interact with people. I always get the impression ...
A. 29 May 2011: Hey hey... relax. You've barely started your life as an adult, it is way too early yet to say "it's not in the cards for me". Just stick your head out there, go out of your comfort zone, and be HONEST. Speak from the heart. If you don't have a... (read in full...)
How do I end the relationship when we hardly speak?
Q. hey... everyone, i got this kind of confusion.. about my long distance relationship... am 17 and he's 21 and its been a year that we are apart.. but now i somehow feel that we need 2 end it.. but i dont know how to as we hardly speak cause he is ...
A. 29 May 2011: Write him an e-mail and tell him that you need to have a serious conversation with him. Then when you do speak, tell him that you do not wish to stay in this relationship any longer. There is nothing you can do to prevent this from hurting him ... (read in full...)
I don't know if she felt my erection
Q. Ok so me and my gf we kinda cuddling one day on the couch. I kissed her and after, her hand brushed up against my erection. She didn't seem to notice or nothing. And after she said she was completely comfortable and didnt mention it. Do you think ...
A. 29 May 2011: I don't know about other girls, but I barely notice if a guy has a hard on when Im rubbing up against him. Especially if she's not experienced with it, and knows what it feels like, she probably didn't put much thought to it. And, if she's like me... (read in full...)
Last night I danced with a guy, I really like him... but I've got a boyfriend
Q. Dear Cupid, I really need some advice for this problem. Ok so i have a boyfriend of almost 3 months now. Hes a great guy, whose sweet and funny and cute.(IRONIC i had ended with my ex to go with him, because my ex was being a jerk) However ...
A. 29 May 2011: Don't be fooled. This guy used every charmer trick in the book to flirt his way to you. Sure, he might think you're pretty, but he also thinks lots of other girls are pretty, and the "you're eyes have stars in them" line is both old and used.
... (read in full...)
I can convince myself of anything, just by saying it out loud
Q. I don’t know how I manage to do this but I can trick my brain into thinking something completely different to how I’m really feeling. It sounds odd, but If I speak out loud what I want to hear or feel like, I can change my brain way of thinking and ...
A. 29 May 2011: It's possible. It's how we all work. The thing is that a lot of people go and tell themselves horrible things, and then they have no idea how to feel confident.. But it's just reversed of what you do. They tell themselves bad things and unless they ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
