| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Broke up with BF. Now theres a big hole. How do I rebuild things?
Q. I'm having the hardest time right now with my fresh break up resisting calling him, to hear his voice, to hear his humor..he was my best friend and losing him has hugely dented my 'social' life. He was my person I told everything to, and I have no ...
A. 6 June 2011: Write. It helped me, it's helped me through all my breakups. I get extremely creative when emotionally hurt, because all the feelings are so raw and out there, easily accessible I guess.
I have written my feelings down. Described how they felt, de... (read in full...)
How can you be too clingy in a relationship?
Q. Dear all, I was recently dumped for reasons that included in me being "too clingy". I don't know how this is possible as when your in a relationship your meant to be there for each other. Its left many questions in my mind those of which won't b...
A. 6 June 2011: Being clingy, to me, is expecting contact at certain times, or frequently, and more contact than what I am used to.
However, it is a silly reason to break up with someone as you could just tell them to cool it down and take it easy. If the girl... (read in full...)
How often do you give your boyfriend oral sex?
Q. Hi, just wondering how often all you ladies (or gay guys too!) give your boyfriend oral sex? (or guys, how often does your gf give you a bj?) I was talking to a girlfriend about this and she said she gives her boyfriend blow jobs every day whereas ...
A. 6 June 2011: Im trying to work out an average here through the years of boyfriends... It depends on the guy and the sexual relationship, and how often there's sex in general. But I'd say on average, if there is sex 3-4 times a week there might be a blowjob 1-2 ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't return the favor?
Q. Hey, So basically what is happening is that my girlfriend won't return the favour. I go down on her to please her whenever he asks, but when I ask her to return the goods she says, I don't feel like it, or, when it's dark. I know penises aren't t...
A. 6 June 2011: "I know penises aren't the most appetizing things on earth, but neither are vaginas."
If you think it's so horrible to go down on her then why do you? Plenty of people love to go down and give a woman oral, and don't think it's unappeti... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I don't want to have sex with him! Help!
Q. my boyfriend loves me but he wants to have sex with me and i don't want to, what should i do with my boyfriend? although we can't break up because I LOVE HIM...
A. 6 June 2011: If he doesn't respect your wishes to not have sex, then he doesn't love you as much as you think he does. You need to leave him if he will not accept that you do not want to have sex, even if you love him.
In your culture, is it acceptab... (read in full...)
I've been in love with this woman for the last 8 years of my life while she's been trying to figure out what she wants...
Q. Alright. I feel that the more details I provide, the better my situation will be understood. So, this will probably be quite lengthy and I thank in advance anyone who takes the time to read it. So, I met this girl when I was 19 and we s...
A. 6 June 2011: If you do decide to leave the air force, be prepared to find it difficult at first to be a civilian again. I hear stories about that all the time, that it is hard to get used to regular life again where you're free to do whatever you want, and no ... (read in full...)
Should I check he doesn't have regrets?
Q. Me and my bf broke up about 3 weeks ago, to cut a long story short he didnt know what he wanted and i gave him 4 days to think about things and he still didnt know what he wanted. He was just generally confused, he lacks confidence at times and i ...
A. 6 June 2011: I think it might take him a great deal longer than 3 weeks to make up his mind if he's this confused. Normally you know instinctively or not if you want to be in a relationship or not. And if things weren't sour between you (you parted on god terms ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend almost hit me, did I make the wrong choice by forgiving him?
Q. 2 days ago i was at my boyfriends house (we r both 18 and have been together for 2 years) and he was studying for some upcoming test. I was getting bored so I started talking to him asking him questions like "how is the studying going" etc. I"ll ...
A. 5 June 2011: Uh-oh, not good. You forgave him, but you didn't forgive at heart. You're still scared and unsure about him, and rightfully so. This is very disturbing. It is sad, but you can't be responsible for what he did, no matter what you did to him it ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to lose weight and have no support from my family
Q. My mother has battled with her weight for as along as I can remember ( am now 20) she has been using weight watchers and has lost over 4stone over about three years. I am one of her three daughters and the youngest and recently had to move home , as ...
A. 5 June 2011: Good for you that you're doing something to help yourself and better your life. But don't sulk after attention. You do this for YOU right, not to impress anybody. Grown up people need to carry on on their own, and if we have someone to support us we ... (read in full...)
After 1 year boyfriend doesn't know what he wants!
Q. Hi my bf of 1 year said he wasn't sure what he wants! Said he needed space! I got really upset as I told him I want to be together! Anyway he moved in with a friend! I kept texting him saying he needs to tell me straight whether he wants to be with ...
A. 5 June 2011: He sounds spiteful, as do you... Are you sure this is a relationship worth fighting so much for? Why did you try to make him jealous.. it shouldn't have been necessary.
And if he was a real man he'd not jump off like that and say you're through ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting about my friends' comments about my boyfriend or am I being realistic with the situation?
Q. Hi! I am visiting my boyfriend this year in the summer. A plane ticket from the U.S. to Canada costs about 600-800 dollars, which seemed.. well, reasonable to me. He is offering to pay for half of my ticket. I've been so excited about it and...
A. 5 June 2011: If you're the one to travel you should actually pay your own ticket. If he was traveling to you, he'd pay his ticket. Thats what's fair. His offering to pay of your ticket is gallant of him, and your friends are just jealous. When people feel bad ... (read in full...)
The pill and gaining weight?
Q. Hi, I've been thinking carefully about going on the Pill for a while now and think it's the right thing to do. My only worry is that it'll make me gain weight (vanity I know!) What have your experiences with the Pill been like? I really don't want ...
A. 5 June 2011: I never experienced a difference in my body when I went on the pill other than my breasts getting fuller. But this varies a lot! A friend of mine went up a bra size when she got on the pill. Some gain weight (just because they eat more, increased ... (read in full...)
G/f can't cum during sex
Q. I can't make my fiance come during the intercourse. We do it in missionary mostly and I try to touch her clit during action but she says that it does not work during intercourse. Therefore she takes away my hand whenever I touch her there during ...
A. 5 June 2011: Most women don't come during intercourse. So my advise to you is to stop thinking you must. Just leave it be, when she takes your hand away she doesn't want you to do it, maybe it just feels weird or awkward to her, and she enjoys the intercourse ... (read in full...)
I've been in love with this woman for the last 8 years of my life while she's been trying to figure out what she wants...
Q. Alright. I feel that the more details I provide, the better my situation will be understood. So, this will probably be quite lengthy and I thank in advance anyone who takes the time to read it. So, I met this girl when I was 19 and we s...
A. 5 June 2011: My question to you is: is she single?
It appears from your text that she has not been single once during these 8 years, that's she's been on and off men, and that she was with someone when the two of you got back together again, however briefly.... (read in full...)
Do you think she'll notice if I am bigger?
Q. I like going to the gym because the stronger I get I feel like I have more confidence. It gives me something to talk about and now some girls I know are like wow you love the gym and that kind of stuff. I am considering taking dbol which is a ...
A. 5 June 2011: She'll probably notice, but isn't that the entire point? If you don't want to look big, then don't get big. You can still work out without looking like a body builder, so try to keep things natural and good looking, instead of boosting yourself up ... (read in full...)
Can he want me for more than sex?
Q. Is it possible that a guy can originally want you purely for sex and then for some reason want more? or am i just being completely stupid?...
A. 5 June 2011: It happens. Guys fall in love just as easily as girls do. However, I wouldn't hope for too much, that will only make you disappointed. It can happen, sure, but often it doesn't. You can't help who you fall in love with, but you can't make someone ... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I want to change my mind about the three-some decisions we made?
Q. My boyfriend wants threesome with a girl and i said i wanted one with a guy. Than he started complaning, because he isnt bi-sexual like me, so he wouldn't get any thing out of it. But with a girl we both would because i'm bi-sexual. So i gave in....
A. 5 June 2011: You're allowed to change your mind, yes!!! And even if you're a bisexual, you're not forced to have sex with another girl if you DON'T WANT to have sex with another girl.
This all makes me think what's wrong with people today. Sex isn't a game, it... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I"m having the right reaction to what this guy said?
Q. If a man says he feels like your his family and starts claiming your bedroom at your house is his and your cat is his too I would think this is a good thing but I am not sure i am having the right reaction too it. When he said these things I reacted ...
A. 5 June 2011: If it makes you happy, just smile and say that makes you happy, and that it makes you think of the future.
However, you will be wise to not think of the future. Do not think that because he says he feels like family, that he is family, or will be ... (read in full...)
She's fine, but I'd kinda rather be single
Q. Hey guys need some help here, me and my gf have been together for about 2 months but I dont know if I should stay with her. I mean I like being in a relationship but I also miss being single. There is nothing wrong with her and she is my first real ...
A. 5 June 2011: If you want to break up with her, make sure you know it's what you want to do and not something you will regret later. Then figure out what it is about being single that you enjoy. I think that it is better to break it off as soon as you know you ... (read in full...)
Told my best friend I couldn't take just being friends with her, and now our friendship is in danger. What should I do??
Q. Here goes, I've been best friends with this girl for over 5 years now. Nothing has made me happier than she has and she has completed changed me as a person for the better. When I'm with her and also when I'm around other people as well. She first ...
A. 4 June 2011: "The only difference being is that we had begun to argue, I don't remember us having a single argument in the 5 years that we'd been friends and it seems so different now because it's not even just a single argument, they are on and off practically ... (read in full...)
I read that sex without a condom increases risk of cervical cancer. Is this true?
Q. My boyfriend and I have sex without a condom. We were both virgins when we met and I'm on the Pill so there's no risk of STD's or pregnancy. However, I was reading my pamphlet for the Pill and at one point it said sex without a condom increases the ...
A. 4 June 2011: Ask a doctor this question as they can explain it better.
The thing is that the studies look at women who have cervical cancer, and then also question what they use for contraception. Amongst women with cervical cancer, a higher percenta... (read in full...)
My friends children are spoiled and misbehave all the time! How can I get her to see that this isn't normal?
Q. Parents out there please help!!! I need some advice so I can help my friend with her children who are a nightmare! I don't have children myself so I apologise in advance if I offend anyone . My friend has 2 children- a 10 year old girl a...
A. 4 June 2011: How many other children are you around on a regular basis to be able to say that this isn't normal? Do you work with children? Do you have other friends with children, and plenty as well, to be able to say what is the norm and what isn't?
The t... (read in full...)
My gf doesn't want to have sex anymore and I am wondering if it is because she had a traumatic experience in the past.
Q. My girlfriend and I have had a very bad sex life lately. It was good at first, but 3 years in she basically stopped wanting it at all. Ever. We talked about it tonight and she said that it's not uncommon for women to want to stop having sex afte...
A. 4 June 2011: I don't think this is common at all. It is definitely not common for women to not want sex a few years into a relationship. But she's saying it is so that she doesn't feel like a freak, and perhaps she feels under attack by you, and therefor need a ... (read in full...)
Started taking the oral contraceptive Microgynon 30, and have started bleeding. Does anyone know why?
Q. I started to take my first ever pack of Microgynon 30 (oral contraceptive) 3 days ago. I wanted to delay my next period as I'm going on holiday, so took my first tablet before I had my period (my chemist said this was fine!). I'm not using this as a ...
A. 4 June 2011: It variates from woman to woman and from time to time. When I start on the pill, my period stops or doesn't start, and I never had bleedings in between the planned period. However, this isn't unusual, it says so on the leaflet to the pill as well, ... (read in full...)
It's my party and I can cry if I want to! Would you cry too if this happened to you?
Q. It was my birthday last week and I arranged for friends and some work colleagues to go out for a meal. In total there was 19 of us and I just feel the evening was a disaster! Because we were such a large group the restaurant asked us to all ...
A. 4 June 2011: I am sorry you had a bad birthday celebration. And it wont really help to tell you that these people are selfish or whatever. They are your friends and co-workers. You know them better than I do, you know what kind of people they are. If they all ... (read in full...)
Aren't there ANY women who don't want kids out there?
Q. Why is it that women say that the things they want in a boyfriend or partner tend to be things like: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour? It's total nonsense. All they want is someone to father their chi...
A. 3 June 2011: I just wanted to point out, since biological clocks were mentioned, that men have that biological clock as well. It's not just women. Sperm quality decrease, and sperm quality is also affected by a man's use of alcohol or drugs.. It's just not ... (read in full...)
Aren't there ANY women who don't want kids out there?
Q. Why is it that women say that the things they want in a boyfriend or partner tend to be things like: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour? It's total nonsense. All they want is someone to father their chi...
A. 3 June 2011: Correction, the men we want to be the father of our children needs to be: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour?
Im sorry for the misunderstanding if you though the guy alone was all we were interested in.
... (read in full...)
Meeting my long distance boyfriend for the first time, but I'm not looking forward to it! Does this mean I should end the relationship?
Q. I don't know what i feel for him or what i want from this relationship. I have a long distance bf and we are supposed to meet in July for the first time. He's supposed to spend where I live 10 days and we're about to go to a concert together...
A. 3 June 2011: Have you ever been in a real relationship before? With a real guy, not someone you only talk to online? Someone you get to see often in person, someone to be intimate with physically?
If not, then this is you being scared. You might not be used ... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 2 June 2011: You could try to have a stern talk with her so the message is getting through. Tell her for example that you will not co-sign anything, give out your financial information, do anything joint financially with her, as that is preserved for marriage. ... (read in full...)
He has two kids by two different women
Q. Do you think it's bad if a man has two kids by two women ?. I have just met this man, and he has a 12 year old son with one woman, and a one year old daughter with another woman. He is single at the moment though. I don't have any children. I'm not ...
A. 2 June 2011: Do you want kids yourself, and are you willing to share your man with these other women? Not sexually, but they will have a huge impact on his life, he'll meet them often, and you'll be prioritized after the children. Their mothers will also have a ... (read in full...)
It bothered me that my BF went to his first love's birthday party. This is a girl he's had feeling for, for many yrs and she's always snubbed him. Thoughts...?
Q. My boyfriend of two years discovered his first love at age 10. He loved this girl from age 10 to 18. He "moved on" when he went away to college. The love was never returned and throughout that time he told her many times that he loved her and she ...
A. 2 June 2011: It's ok to have a soft spot for someone, it isn't dangerous to your relationship. Parents always have soft spots for their children, and THAT often comes at the expense of a new partner. Children are also always prioritized, which is understandable. ... (read in full...)
Why shouldn't a girl ask a guy out?
Q. I"m gonna make this as short as possible: I like this guy at my college who is also a close friend. I have only told 2 people about this because 1. I don't want the whole school to know and 2. because no one actually thinks I'm being serious!! ...
A. 2 June 2011: Yes, there is no reason why you shouldn't make the first move. Invite him with you on a cup of coffee or to see a movie, or ask if he wants to hang out one time and get his phone number and start texting him. ... (read in full...)
What exactly is so enticing to a guy about releasing onto a girl's stomach/chest?
Q. dear cupid, soo, this might seem like a weird question, buuut it's just something that's been on my mind lately. soo, hopefully, somebody on here will be able to answer it. hahaa...anyways...here goes. my boyfriend and i were just about as close t...
A. 2 June 2011: It's just fun and exciting, squirting it in different places. I don't think there's anything you need to do to make it better when it's already good. Just go with the flow and enjoy it and it is all good. ... (read in full...)
Should I email his other girlfriend? He has been seeing both of us at the same time!
Q. Should I or not? I recently came across the email address of my boyfriend's 19 year old girlfriend. For 6 months he had been seeing me all the while seeing her too. I've known about her for 5 months now, she doesn't know about me. She lives an hou...
A. 2 June 2011: I say tell her and warn her about what kind of man she is with. Why did you stay with him for 5 months after knowing he was cheating?
I think she deserves to know the truth, she hasn't done anything to deserve such treatment. And you certainl... (read in full...)
Girlfriend pulled my foreskin back too far and now it keeps bleeding! Help!
Q. My penis has skin on top I had sex with my girl and she pulled my skin back so much when I got home I had blood everywhere on me. how can I fix this it keeps bleeding...
A. 2 June 2011: If it is heavy bleeding, call your doctor and ask if you should come in. If it is just spotting, and the bleeding is calming down, it is just a wound that will heal itself. Keep it protected so the wound wont rip up, and be gentle with it, and let ... (read in full...)
Is his reluctance to get married a red flag?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years tells me he's not ready for marriage. We're both 27. We talk about commitment and how we see ourselves together long-term, but when I bring up marriage, he says he's not ready and doesn't want to discuss it. He's Ame...
A. 2 June 2011: He might not be ready for marriage while he's still young. Maybe it will take him 5 more years to get ready. Or maybe he's just not ready to get married to you, but would be with someone else (I know that idea is horrible, but lets face it, it ... (read in full...)
Why is my fiance acting like this and how do I deal with it?
Q. My fiance tells me he loves me and would never leave me and then turns around and tells me don't be surprised if i don't come home and he say's he is tired of everything, i am so confused and hurt, it's like mind games, i don't know how or what to ...
A. 2 June 2011: You need to break off this engagement. To be engaged means you have the intent to marry, meaning you have the intent to stay committed for the rest of your life.
Your boyfriend doesn't show that commitment when he says he's tired and might no... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay?
Q. I’m really confused I really need other’s opinion on this. We’ve been dating for over 7 months and everything was perfect, we rarely argue, we connect and communicate very well on every level. He looks at other women too, he seems and acts like a ...
A. 2 June 2011: I don't think your boyfriend is gay, and I don't think thats really what you're worried about either. You just don't know how to tell your boyfriend that he acts like a jerk, and that his friend disrespects you. You don't like this friend for said ... (read in full...)
Drunken encounter with my cousin....how do I deal with this situation?
Q. really don't know how to say this......but ah will here it goes me and my cousin are really close as cousins should be and usually hang out. so as we sometimes do we went to his apartment and had some beer for old times sake and to catch up.....will ...
A. 2 June 2011: You had sex with your cousin?
You're both male, so no chance of a pregnancy. I'm not trying to be funny even, I'm saying it could have been worse. So many people drink too much, then do stupid things that they regret. At least you won't have a l... (read in full...)
What type of church would you suggest to be the best fit for someone like myself?
Q. Lately I've been becoming more and more religious despite my agnostic family and I have wanted to change my ways. I read Genesis and I've stayed celibate for about a year now and I want to start going to church as well, but I have a hard time ...
A. 2 June 2011: Catholics are strict. If you want to practice your religion under a set of rules, then this is for you. It is very intimate in the way that all catholics follow the same rules, which will make you and other catholics become closer in the community. ... (read in full...)
It bothered me that my BF went to his first love's birthday party. This is a girl he's had feeling for, for many yrs and she's always snubbed him. Thoughts...?
Q. My boyfriend of two years discovered his first love at age 10. He loved this girl from age 10 to 18. He "moved on" when he went away to college. The love was never returned and throughout that time he told her many times that he loved her and she ...
A. 2 June 2011: In two years time, can you not tell if he's over her or not? Can you not tell if he's into YOU or not?
I understand your concern, this is something that would have bothered me too, but I'll have to put this down to jealousy, and not a real thr... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 1 June 2011: I understand what you meant. And it is logical, as an independent person, you want another independent person to be with, otherwise you'd feel trapped. A person who leans more on the controlling side would love a dependent girl, someone who needs ... (read in full...)
I don't feel it's her place to invite others to my home
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 5 mos. We argue occassionly. Never long lasting arguments though. The relationship is pretty healthy. The only thing is she has her own apartment that she shares with her cousin. Since we've been ...
A. 30 May 2011: You need to decide what you want. One minute you're asking her to move in with you, and she practically is, with your blessing. Next you tell her to get back to her own place, how dare she act as if she lives at YOUR place?
It's not a matter o... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
