| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: You need to keep in mind that baby oils, or anything that isn't designed to be used for intercourse, will not be recommended for sex. But you're not using it to have intercourse! You're not putting this inside your body. A female shouldn't use the ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: Baby oil is a good idea though. Don't use it for intercourse with a woman, but for purely masturbating it should do the trick. Regular olive oil would do the trick as well, if you're desperate.
Or take the bus to the next town and get it there. ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: But what if you just buy it and don't say anything about it? So that of they do ask, you can say it's for masturbating. It's not like you declare it, or tell them randomly, but if they ask you can tell the truth. What is the worst that could happen? ... (read in full...)
What are the best sex positions for a downward curved penis?
Q. So I have a banana shaped penis that is curved downwards and I have been pretty embarrassed by it for awhile now. I soon realized that it is actually very common among individuals to have the same thing i do. So my question is, what are the best sex ...
A. 13 June 2011: You don't need to be embarrassed. Penises come in all sizes and shapes, up and down or the the side etc.
Some of the best sex I ever had was with a man with a penis curved like yours. What made the sex great was the connection between the two ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: Why hide it? Lube is as natural as any other thing. Put it out in the open and if someone asks you what you use it for tell the truth. I'm sure that'll be the last time your parents get nosy.
It's not like your parents can forbid you to masturba... (read in full...)
Not getting anything back from my best friend is killing me
Q. I have been in love with my best friend in the whole world for almost two and a half years now. I've never loved anyone so much and I've fallen hard. He is all I think about and because he's my best friend I can't just cut off all contact with him. ...
A. 13 June 2011: Your only options is to tell him or get over him. If you want to get over him you need to take time away from him, which can be heartbreaking in itself. This means you need to stay away from him for as long as it takes for your feelings for him to ... (read in full...)
Should I go for the new guy or try to stick it out with my husband?
Q. I am 23 years old and have been with my husband since I was 18. At the start of our relationship everything was great, sex was amazing we did it everyday. Now I feel like we are growing farther and farther apart. He recently changed jobs and our ...
A. 13 June 2011: Remember when you decided to get married? You decided this was it. He was the one, through thick and thin.
This is thin. Stick to it. It will reward itself later on, just stick to your marriage. Your husband isn't some fling, or a random guy, or ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend starting to compete with me ?
Q. I would just like to know. Why is my boyfriend starting to compete with me ? What is it, that men have to feel like they need to start competing with their girlfriends? ...
A. 13 June 2011: I haven't seen that happen, that men compete with their girlfriends. I don't think this is common. What does he compete with you in? I think this is more about his nature than anything else, he must be a competitive person. ... (read in full...)
B/f got a sexual disease and thinks I was cheating on him!
Q. i divorced with my husband because he was cheating on me with another woman. I never knew that he transmitted an infection to me. I am in a relationship with another man now for 1 year. Everything was fine till one day he saw symptoms of sti, he ...
A. 12 June 2011: Educate him on chlamydia and go to the doctor with him to tell him how it can be spread. That you got it from your exhusband, didn't have the symptoms, and have given it to him,
Get YOURSELF tested though!! If you have it, it could steriliz... (read in full...)
I just can't last in the missionairy position
Q. Hello everyone..i have a quite weird problem here..its about sex positions..when im having sex with a girl doggystyle or shes on top or any other position..my performance is really good and i cant last long enough to make her cum..but as soon as we ...
A. 12 June 2011: Tips to last longer are all over the web. Mainly it's about a few core things:
Practice.
Masturbating before sex (second time lasts longer).
Think about unsexy things, like old people, puppies and rainbows or schoolwork etc.
Take it slow (thr... (read in full...)
I just can't last in the missionairy position
Q. Hello everyone..i have a quite weird problem here..its about sex positions..when im having sex with a girl doggystyle or shes on top or any other position..my performance is really good and i cant last long enough to make her cum..but as soon as we ...
A. 12 June 2011: I'm sorry, but I will question the point you raise about making girls come through lasting long enough. When so few women come during intercourse, I'm not sure this is credible. It might be you're amazing in bed and all, but most women just don't ... (read in full...)
Does he seem to be a bit too controlling?
Q. Does this guy I talk to sound a bit controlling/overprotective? First of all we met online. He likes my pictures but said he felt some of them were too sexy and some of the dresses were too short. He said he prefers the more casual/cell phon...
A. 12 June 2011: Yeah, I don't know.. are you thinking about becoming his girlfriend? For a complete stranger that you met online, he sure comes on too strong. To be honest, what you wear or not is none of his business and it is quite rude to even comment on it, as ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy say he liked me shoes?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says he likes your shoes? Can a man really like a pair of cork wedges, really?! ...
A. 12 June 2011: It's a pick up line, surprised you never heard it before? It goes like this: man gives random compliment to start a conversation, woman gets charmed, and seduction has begun. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go on holiday now because of all the bad things I read can happen
Q. So i am really VERY nervous and worried to go on holiday now! Because i read reviews that people break into your rooms, they caught swine flu and conjunctivitis, there's mold on the walls, the ceiling is fall apart. Sick stains on the mattress and ...
A. 12 June 2011: Ever been on vacation before or is this your first trip ever?
Take it cool. Stuff doesn't happen that much, if it happens it was because you were stupid and walked down the back alley at night when you shouldn't have.. stuff like that. Don't le... (read in full...)
Is it understandable that I'm freaking out at my boyfriend? He went naked in view of her
Q. Ok, I need to know if I should be mad about this. Me and my boyfriend live with his best friend who is a female. Last night we were playing around and he had just gotten out of the shower when he went to tell our roomate something (still. in his ...
A. 11 June 2011: Even if he showed himself naked to her, it is not the same as sleeping with her. It is crossing the line in the eyes of many, but sleeping with someone is sleeping with someone, and nothing else. Was it an accident? Did he drop it accidentally? Did ... (read in full...)
In my mid-20 and never had a girlfriend
Q. The realization that I'm in my mid twenties and have never had a girlfriend or even so much as dated anyone is really starting to scare me. I've never been in a relationship with anyone. I can't even say that I'd know how to date someone should ...
A. 11 June 2011: Do you have problems with intimacy? How close as your to your friends?
There really aren't any real reasons for why someone can't find love, in close to all cases it is the person themselves standing in their own way.
Don't excuse this on n... (read in full...)
Is it true that it's a woman's right to change her mind--or is she just being bloody rude??
Q. Got into a row with my girlfriend of several months after she canceled on me for the third time in a row, calling a couple of hours before. She said she had things to do. I asked for more details and she said she didnt want to get into it. I got ...
A. 10 June 2011: It's rude. If you have a legitimate reason for canceling, then it is fine. But to not even give a reason, and canceling last minute, is rude.
But, if it's happened three times in what you call "several months" then you be the judge: is this a h... (read in full...)
I think I have herpies, and don't know the long term effects of it! What will happen to me?
Q. I'm really worried and concerned. I had unprotected sex over the weekend and now i have a big spot down bellow. It looks a bit like an ulcer. Their are three other tiny spots by it, but, they don't look like ulseres, they just look like tiny ...
A. 10 June 2011: I forgot, I wanted to add this link to you about some facts and myths:
http://www.famvir.com/info/genital-herpes-facts.jsp?usertrack.filter_applied=true&NovaId=2935376887934053831... (read in full...)
I think I have herpies, and don't know the long term effects of it! What will happen to me?
Q. I'm really worried and concerned. I had unprotected sex over the weekend and now i have a big spot down bellow. It looks a bit like an ulcer. Their are three other tiny spots by it, but, they don't look like ulseres, they just look like tiny ...
A. 10 June 2011: You should ask your doctor about this when you next meet up. If you're even shown to have herpies! It's isn't final yet, you should wait for the results before you scare yourself half to death, and then when you get the results talk to your doctor ... (read in full...)
Why does he express his love so frequently?
Q. My new boyfriend is really into me. We don't get much time together as we live apart so when we do, we treasure every minute. He cooks for me, and we make each other happy. One thing , however, is that he repeats very often throughout my stay that ...
A. 9 June 2011: Are you sure you are in love with this guy? This reaction is normally caused by unwanted attention.. attention you'd normal be thrilled over if you were in love.
Maybe tell him to take it slow with you as you don't want to rush things, and your... (read in full...)
I fancy his personality, not his looks. Is that shallow?
Q. i really like this boy at college, and i no he likes me too as hes told me, we flirt all the time and we recently went on a residential trip with college and we was together all the time, everyone noes we like each other and asking why we are not ...
A. 9 June 2011: You're not shallow, but it is mean to lead him on and flirt with him when you don't like him all that much. Have fun as friends, but leave flirting for someone you're actually interested in.
Some times when we fall in love though, people start to... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gags when she give me a handjob!
Q. hi their this is my problem. My girlfriend has a really bad gag reflex so blow jobs are out of the question witch is cool with me cause i respect and love her. But over the past couple of months she gags when giving me a hand job. And well its ...
A. 9 June 2011: I don't understand this, but I can totally see why it makes you uncomfortable. This is horrible... and why on earth does she get a gag reflex from a hand job? Or a blow job for that matter, unless she tries to take it in too deep.
Talk to her abou... (read in full...)
Man in wife's class is unintenionally exposing himself, should she tell him?
Q. I (we) have some need for advice. My wife and I are married for quite a few years, our youngest child is now in full time elementary school, so my wife wanted to pursue a career. She is currently attending a university to become a teacher. Ther...
A. 9 June 2011: Hahahah! She should tell him, certainly. If not for anything other than the fun of seeing his expression. If she's friendly with him it would also be the good thing to do, friends need to watch each others back. I always tell my girlfriend when ... (read in full...)
Maybe I'm not cut out to be a mom?
Q. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a mom. He's cute, yes, but too much for me to handle, financially and sleeplessness. It is burdensome and bothersome for me. I'm getting so stress out and burnout from taking care of a baby. I don't have a reliable sitter ...
A. 9 June 2011: I would advise you to talk to your doctor and tell them this. I believe they can help you. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my teacher of my feelings or just leave quietly?
Q. I am 14 and wondering whether my teacher likes me too. I mean, I like him too and it has been 2 years. I don't know if I am misunderstanding the signs because I also have feelings for him. I think he is in his late 20s. He is so nice to me (and ...
A. 9 June 2011: Do not tell him and spare him the embarrassment. Maybe you could give him a warning instead saying "You're really nice, and I don't know if you're aware, but some girls start thinking you have feelings for them since you're so nice, and I don't ... (read in full...)
Who's in charge of the baby, me or my parents?
Q. I'm 16 years old and have a 2 month old son, me and his father are still together. My parents act like the baby is theirs and like they can make decisions that pertain to him. I'm very responsible and I do everything for my son, my boyfriend (his ...
A. 9 June 2011: If you're living with your parents, and are under 18 (which is in most places considered when you are an adult) your parents have full rights to tell you what when and where. Unfortunately for you, they're rightfully in charge as you are still a ... (read in full...)
After three years it's a lot more than a 'crush' but she doesn't feel the same way
Q. Hi, im a 19 y.o guy. I met this girl about 3 years ago in college, we were best friends in college and i slowly but surely began to fall deeply in love with her. Lemme clarify one thing, she is amazing. She is possibly the hottest girl ive ever met, ...
A. 9 June 2011: Trust me, we've all been there. And we live to tell you that life goes on beyond a broken heart. First you have to accept that things are the way they are. You can't make someone feel what they do not. I think it was pretty lousy of her to have sex ... (read in full...)
My BF gave a girl a wedgie and I got upset. Was I wrong?
Q. Is it ok for me to get upset that my boyfriend gave 1 of his friends that are girls a wedgie? I know its sounds kinda stupid but i don't like that he put his hands down her pants an touched her underwear and pulled em up?...
A. 9 June 2011: Wedgies at his age are ok. Find a more mature boyfriend or accept him as he is.... (read in full...)
I'm so heartbroken, and I don't know if he was telling the truth
Q. I met my ex-bf in a somewhat unusual way in July of last year. Because of the situation I really felt as though fate had brought us together; we were absolutely perfect for each other (and I truly mean that), and after about a month I couldn't even ...
A. 8 June 2011: Hes telling the truth me thinks, but is a jerk. He's now screwing this new girl over just like he did you, and at end she'll hear the same old same old that he told you! Sorry, he's immature, and still doesn't know what he wants, and threw away ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not always say 'I love you too.' Should I be worried?
Q. Hi there. I tell my bf I love him a lot and he does not always say it back. He's like, well, I've said it, I dont need to keep saying it. He does tell me he loves me, just not that often. Sometimes I text him 'love you' and he does not text back. S...
A. 8 June 2011: I hate having to be forced into saying "I love you".
I believe that it should NOT be misused. Then it loses it's meaning. If you FEEL like saying it, then say it. Otherwise, DON'T. Your boyfriend loves you, and he tells you so when he has the urge... (read in full...)
When is it the correct time to ask a girl out before they say "we are just friends"?
Q. i have fallen into this situation many times. i always meet new girls and well i get to know them but then when i ask them out they say that im just a friend. is it because i know them to much? when is the correct time before i get in the "friend ...
A. 8 June 2011: I firmly believe there is no such thing as a friend zone. Girls are easy. We either like you or we don't. If we don't like you we call you a friend. If we do like you it doesn't matter how many years go by, we'll still accept if you ask us on a ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to read these books even though I'm technically more pure then most girls my age?
Q. Hello! I'm going to get straight to the point and not beat around the bush. I'm a 18 year old virgin and I love to read romance novels. Not just the nice sappy ones, I like to read the sexy intense one with wild sex in them. I love historic novels ...
A. 8 June 2011: I got recommended Anne Rice, the Sleeping Beauty Novels, which are three books.
The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty / Beauty's Release / Beauty's Punishment.
I know Anne Rice from other books by her, and she's excellent.
Having a dirty mi... (read in full...)
I'm 18, am I bisexual?
Q. I'm 18, and find myself attracted to both boys and girls my own age. I have been in a serious relationship with a girl in my year at college, and now have my eyes set on another girl. But I check out guys as well. I masturbate over them and ...
A. 8 June 2011: There's no definite stamp on these things. It can stay permanent, or it can change. You say you are 70/30, which is actually a good way to describe bisexuality. Bisexuals tend to not go 50/50, they lean more to one side or the other. This can also ... (read in full...)
Which is worse, her cheating or my looking at her email?
Q. Long story short, girl I was seeing I found out was having sexy liaisons on the Internet with a couple of guys she knows. They didn't have sex or were intimate (I don't think, anyway) but exchanged a bunch of messages like "I miss you" or computer ...
A. 8 June 2011: I think you're on the right path with your update. As hard as it is, I think it is much better if you leave a relationship based on lack of trust or a suspicion. Because once that trust is gone, and you don't feel confident, no matter if you don't ... (read in full...)
Is it a crazy idea to have a baby at 15? Or a good idea?
Q. im 15 and i really want a baby. i know this is not really the best idea ever but i feel like i was born to be a mother. i have wanted a baby since i was 11 and like the idea of being a teenage mum. i currently dont have a boyfriend so it wouldnt be ...
A. 7 June 2011: Well, what do you think yourself?
Have you read up on baby-care, or been taking care of young children while growing up? Do you know much about it?
Do you have an income, and a place to live? Your parents house doesn't count, you can't really... (read in full...)
Which is worse, her cheating or my looking at her email?
Q. Long story short, girl I was seeing I found out was having sexy liaisons on the Internet with a couple of guys she knows. They didn't have sex or were intimate (I don't think, anyway) but exchanged a bunch of messages like "I miss you" or computer ...
A. 7 June 2011: Does it matter what's worse? NO. It doesn't matter. What would happen if she says that what she did was worse? You raise a flag in triumph? You throw a parade? The relationship is saved and can go back to normal because you won?
What happens ... (read in full...)
Does all of this sound reasonable? I no longer know what's right or not....
Q. I have a few questions: Whenever we argue, my boyfriend refuses to make up. When I offer affection, he refuses it. He says that offering affection doesn't change anything and in fact makes him angry because it's a sham - i.e., affection doesn'...
A. 7 June 2011: Hugging is physical assault? What planet did he grow up on? His parents must have been very unloving, because this isn't normal behaviour.
I think you will be much happier in a relationship with a man who knows how to behave like a human, a... (read in full...)
Should I block my ex on Facebook, again?
Q. Yes, it's a question involving the dreaded Facebook. My ex-bf and I don't really have mutual friends in real life, but on Facebook we do. I initially blocked him so I wouldn't have to see him keep popping up on other people's Facebook pages. ...
A. 7 June 2011: It's ok to block him, you don't want to have him up in your face. At least if you have him blocked you wont have to see as much of him. In the meantime you can also hide this common friend's comments, so they wont show up on the main wall. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not know how to comfort me?
Q. I love spending time with my boyfriend, and when I'm in a good mood (which I usually am) I am very happy with him. Lately however, I've been really stressed, sick, and having a lot of depressed/feeling down issues. I've told him I find it hard to ...
A. 7 June 2011: I'm afraid, since it doesn't come natural to him, you need to teach him how to comfort you. That means you have to say it to him directly, say exactly what it is you need.
Some men have such a difficult time with this and I don't understa... (read in full...)
Which girl should my friend marry?
Q. My friend asked me to advise him to settle with one girl. He has two girl friends,One loves him so much, she calls him every minute, even check on him at home any time and help his family at times to cook or washes his closes. The other girl fri...
A. 6 June 2011: The one who doesn't show as much interest. It is important to keep a personal life, especially if he's going to keep up his two faced life style. ... (read in full...)
To all the men, is that fact that I don't have or don't want any children off putting?
Q. To the men out there, please be brutally honest: If you were single and looking, and met a woman who was in her mid 30s and had no children and claimed to not want any, would you think she was a loser/mentally ill? I ask because I have zero desire...
A. 6 June 2011: We've seen plenty of guys on here who find it hard to find a woman who doesn't want kids.. you're the first woman I see who wonders if it's off putting.
So in other words: no I don't think it's a problem for you. I think more men than women ar... (read in full...)
Is she going to call? How long do I wait?
Q. Well this is my story me and my ex-fiance broke up about a year ago, but still tried to work things out talking on the phone but we just could not work it through. We broke up due to many issues we had in our relationship, mainly trust issues and ...
A. 6 June 2011: Even if I missed my ex's when we broke up I didn't want to get back together with them... there's a reason we broke up after all. But you can still miss someone as a person. So, do not get your hopes up, Im sorry. It would just hurt you too much, ... (read in full...)
Broke up with BF. Now theres a big hole. How do I rebuild things?
Q. I'm having the hardest time right now with my fresh break up resisting calling him, to hear his voice, to hear his humor..he was my best friend and losing him has hugely dented my 'social' life. He was my person I told everything to, and I have no ...
A. 6 June 2011: Write. It helped me, it's helped me through all my breakups. I get extremely creative when emotionally hurt, because all the feelings are so raw and out there, easily accessible I guess.
I have written my feelings down. Described how they felt, de... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
