| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I just hate him, but I love him. His behavior is driving me away. What should I do?
Q. So... I've been with my boyfriend for about two years. We have a lot of unresolved issues but we really do love each other at the core of our relationship. ANYWHO! My dilemma is this. He aggravates me like no other! He is like my annoying so...
A. 12 May 2011: It's going to hurt him, so stop trying to be nice about it. "I love you, but I don't like you any more, and I don't want to be your girlfriend. We have grown apart, you're not what Im looking for at the time. If it is meant to be we will find each ... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed for having a one-night stand!
Q. Hello, I was just wondering if anyone would be able to help with this rather unusual predicament I'm in. Two and a half years ago I had a one night stand. I didn't think clearly about it and I instantly regretted it. The guy I had sex with remaine...
A. 11 May 2011: Oh yeah, if you can do what Cerberus recommends then by all means, that is a very helpful strategy. But you must bring someone with you who isn't afraid of taking it all out (not kill the guy or seriously injure him, but scared the shit out of him), ... (read in full...)
I just hate him, but I love him. His behavior is driving me away. What should I do?
Q. So... I've been with my boyfriend for about two years. We have a lot of unresolved issues but we really do love each other at the core of our relationship. ANYWHO! My dilemma is this. He aggravates me like no other! He is like my annoying so...
A. 11 May 2011: Is this your first serious relationship? If so here's a relationship fact you can not overlook, and must not fool yourself into thinking isn't real: LOVE is never enough.
You love each other... but.
If that's the situation, let love be love... (read in full...)
She didn't want me 6 years ago, but now she's all over me. Shallow, and how do I get back at her?
Q. Dear cupid, 6 years ago I asked out a certain woman i was 22 she was 20, she is very beautiful,smart and fun. She rejected me bluntly because am 5'7 and she needed to feel protected shes 5'2. It hurt very much but she said it was her preference. ...
A. 11 May 2011: Just hurry and dismiss her quickly, before she understands that she has no chance and pretends to be the one not interested in you after all. ... (read in full...)
Should I give my virginity to this married friend who wants to help?
Q. My story you may feel different. I'm 26, healthy, handsome and still a virgin man. I had tight foreskin and consulted doctor recently. He advised try to do handjob always with the help of porn in net or books which doesn't worked actually. And later ...
A. 11 May 2011: Oh no... the doctor I think is right, but what is good for your body is not good for your heart in this case. Your body might enjoy it as she is experienced, but how much will you mentally enjoy it, knowing she is married? Will you feel guilty? Will ... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed for having a one-night stand!
Q. Hello, I was just wondering if anyone would be able to help with this rather unusual predicament I'm in. Two and a half years ago I had a one night stand. I didn't think clearly about it and I instantly regretted it. The guy I had sex with remaine...
A. 11 May 2011: Take it to the police. Blackmailing is illegal, and if he took photos of you without your consent I believe that would be illegal as well.
This man needs a restriction order. I would also tell the boyfriend that you are being blackmailed by a man... (read in full...)
My parents don't believe in my talent
Q. I need advice on how to deal with.....this struggle that I am going through. You see,I have had this very strong desire to become a multi talented artist. I want to sing,dance,act,write,draw,etc.I understand very clearly that it takes many years of...
A. 11 May 2011: Just for reference, I pay, each month:
630 dollars in rent for a tiny room with a bathroom (kitchen and bedroom is the same room, the bathroom is big enough for two people to stand in, I can fit 3 people comfortably in my room)
112 dollars a... (read in full...)
I want children, but he's ambivalent. What goes through his mind, and is there hope for having children with him?
Q. Dear Cupid Well, I think I would like to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation like me and how they decided... I am in a very happy and stable relationship and it is save to say that this is it for both of us. We are both 32. Ther...
A. 11 May 2011: I thought of something else as well. Like your boyfriend, and mishmash said, when you get worried about all the "what if's" you might try and come to terms with it not happening at all.
Playing hobby shrink here, it could be that his reason f... (read in full...)
What are the signs a girl is playing hard to get?
Q. What are the possible signs if the girl are just playing hard to get? ...
A. 11 May 2011: She will turn you down, but continue to flirt with you. Or try to make you jealous by flirting with someone else right in front of you.... (read in full...)
I want children, but he's ambivalent. What goes through his mind, and is there hope for having children with him?
Q. Dear Cupid Well, I think I would like to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation like me and how they decided... I am in a very happy and stable relationship and it is save to say that this is it for both of us. We are both 32. Ther...
A. 11 May 2011: To have or not have children is a deal breaker to me as well. You said you can't imagine a life without. Then, as blunt as it is, you need to tell him that. You need children in your life, as that is an experience you do not want to miss out on in ... (read in full...)
I like him, he flirts back, but he has a girlfriend!?
Q. I posted this question earlier and didn't get any replies so in reposting it. I'm falling for a mate of mine pretty hard. We both flirt with each other a fair bit and joke around .. Thing is I've just found out from another that he's got a ...
A. 11 May 2011: I think you need to be certain of one thing first. Who is his girlfriend? It could be he was talking about YOU for all you know. So clarify that first, just ask him directly.
If he does have a girlfriend I pity her, since her boyfriend is runni... (read in full...)
She didn't want me 6 years ago, but now she's all over me. Shallow, and how do I get back at her?
Q. Dear cupid, 6 years ago I asked out a certain woman i was 22 she was 20, she is very beautiful,smart and fun. She rejected me bluntly because am 5'7 and she needed to feel protected shes 5'2. It hurt very much but she said it was her preference. ...
A. 11 May 2011: Don't tell her your preference is a virgin woman unless it actually is and you know she's not a virgin.
You just want to get even, right? You don't want her any more? Then ignore her. Tell her that she is a shallow person and that you are stil... (read in full...)
Girlfriend gets upset if I don't call when I say I will
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months gets upset if I don’t call when I say I will. Sometimes I say I’m going to call, then something will come up or work will get busy. Then I call later. What’s the big deal?...
A. 11 May 2011: It shows a lack of respect for her if you ditch her, don't show up when you're supposed to, or don't keep your half of the agreement. You said you would call, then you need to call. It's not that difficult to do, so it is offensive when you can't ... (read in full...)
My parents don't believe in my talent
Q. I need advice on how to deal with.....this struggle that I am going through. You see,I have had this very strong desire to become a multi talented artist. I want to sing,dance,act,write,draw,etc.I understand very clearly that it takes many years of...
A. 11 May 2011: You're completely missing the point. Your parents don't want you to drop out on being an artist. But your parents don't want to have to pay your way until you are 25 years old! When you turn 18, in most corners of the world you are considered an ... (read in full...)
How do I get my bf to move out of my place when I am pregnant...he won't leave??
Q. I am currently pregnant about half way through. My bf - 41 is currently living with me but I am thinking it would be much better if he left. Last night we were having a good night together, I cooked him a v tasty meal and we watched tv for a bit. ...
A. 11 May 2011: If you really need him to leave, all you have to do is contact the police and tell them he's unwelcomed at your house but wont leave. He needs to get his behind to the embassy or consul since he is not a citizen of Ireland, and get sent back to his ... (read in full...)
Will she put up with this and be patient? I failed the exam and now I am so worried I will lose my Gf over it/
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and my gf is 23.. The thing is recently i failed in my recent examination to get into my final year at my university.. It was really depressing and demoralizing as i have truly burnt the midnight oil for it..however slow...
A. 11 May 2011: Lets just put it like this, if the woman truly wants to marry you, but ditches you because you've failed an exam or you have to wait 6months to one year to get married... Then she really wasn't that into you in the first place and the marriage ... (read in full...)
What would represent a creative, memorable, thoughtful, romantic proposal of marriage that I could arrange?
Q. what are some creative, thoughtful ways to propose to your girlfriend? i know it sounds terrible that i'm having to ask, but i've just never been very good at this sort of thing. i try so hard and love her very much. i just want to make this ...
A. 11 May 2011: I guess this depends on where she is from and what sort of style people are proposed to in that area.
Ask her mother or her best friend. Yes, they will most likely spread the rumours.... but they will only spread the rumour on to her if they thi... (read in full...)
What do would classify as 'sweet talk'? Do all women like it? Or what is the alternative if women do not like it?
Q. hi girls! I want to understand how to talk to girls in a way that the girls really appreciated. What do I say, how do I say it? Some men seem to be able to charm girls whatever they do. But I am not sure how they do it. What do would classify...
A. 11 May 2011: This isn't as straight forward as you hope it is. There's no such key to open the door to the secrets of sweet talking, chatting up women, or flirting in general. It is a skill you learn through practice or by natural talent.
Sweet talk as far a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a slag even though I lost my virginity to him!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 to 6 months and have a good relationship we were getting over an arguement that was his fault so i was a bit heated at him when the question about sex came up. he was being abnoxious at the fact that i l...
A. 10 May 2011: Just be honest instead of trying to cover one lie over with another. Don't lie to him at all, but admit to him "I was not being honest earlier. I was a virgin."
But I am wondering the sincerity of this relationship since you choose to not be h... (read in full...)
What is an unexpected or creative hobby to have?
Q. I know this is for relationships, but I have tried asking people and researching but not really had much help. I'm wanting to take up a sport but i don't know what one i could start? Like what is an interesting or fun sport to do? As well a...
A. 10 May 2011: Paintbrush collector! ... (read in full...)
Are Ovulation Tests a good option to know Contraceptives are working??
Q. So I posted yesterday asking about testing for contraceptive effectiveness, but I wrote it as if I was her, and got more lols than answers... Followup Question: Are Ovulation Tests a good option to test if the Hormone Contraceptive (My GF is ...
A. 10 May 2011: Btw, you can't use an ovulation "test" while you are on a hormonal contraceptive. And you're getting the wrong idea, there is no such thing as an ovulation test. When you want to know when you are ovulating (for women that is) you use a so-called ... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt the second time if I haven't done it for awhile?
Q. If you wait a couple of months before having sex will it Hurt like if your losing your virginity again and will you bleed ? ...
A. 10 May 2011: You might. ... (read in full...)
Are Ovulation Tests a good option to know Contraceptives are working??
Q. So I posted yesterday asking about testing for contraceptive effectiveness, but I wrote it as if I was her, and got more lols than answers... Followup Question: Are Ovulation Tests a good option to test if the Hormone Contraceptive (My GF is ...
A. 10 May 2011: The answers you got yesterday still count. Why do you think the contraceptive should not work? Unless there is a specific reason for why it wouldn't, then it will. There simply are no ways that you can test the effectiveness of the contraceptive, ... (read in full...)
Does anyone believe in subconcious bonds between two people?
Q. I am just curious if anyone believes that it is possible to be so connected and in tune with another person that you can feel them even when they are away from you? This is how i feel about the only man that i have ever been in love with. Rewi...
A. 10 May 2011: If your lover agreed with all of this then he'd been divorced by now, and you wouldn't have gone ahead and married someone else and pop out their child. Forgive my bluntness, but this is selfish and completely utterly foolishness and sillyness.
... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get revenge after I had sex with someone else? Or does he just not care about me?
Q. I've had a relationship with a guy for about a year and a half now, we have never actually called each other " boyfriend, girlfriend" but when him and I are on good terms, he doesn't mess with other girls and I don't mess with other guys. We have ...
A. 10 May 2011: Why do you even care what he does? Just because now you know it doesn't mean he's been faithful to you over this year and a half, and certainly you can't have been expecting much as he is on and off and never knows what he wants. What makes you ... (read in full...)
I think my 12 year old cousin has a crush on me, how do I handle this?
Q. Dear cupid, I am a 20yo guy and I have this problem with my 12yo cousin. I just dont know what is up with her. First, she seems to always try to catch my attention. You know, teasing, etc. Sometimes it becomes annoying such as blocking my way...
A. 10 May 2011: Why is she so hard to avoid, are you living with her or something?
Get mad at her and be the adult in this, tell her straight out that you are not a child and neither is she, and you will not have her behave like this around you. She must respect ... (read in full...)
Surely if he loved me he would accept some of my requests?
Q. Ok so i am 21 years old gal, have been with my boyfriend for two and half years now, we want to spend our lives together and I like the guy, he is sweet , caring. As a lot of time has passed now, i guess he has started to show his true nature. He ...
A. 10 May 2011: I'm sorry, but if you want to marry a man who is supposed to be considered "god", then what can you expect? He will not do household chores, and if this makes you feel like a slave then he is not the type of man for you. Simple as that. Whether ... (read in full...)
Every time I look at him or try to make love to him, I can't get the images of his past out of my head..
Q. hey guys. so I'm in my early 20's and so is my husband. we've been through so much to be together. our parents kicked us out when we both decided to get married. he put up with so much from my mother and i put up with so much from his step mom. we ...
A. 9 May 2011: "he hasn't had sex with anyone but me for a year and a half."
How long have you been together? Not having had sex with anyone else while in a relationship is what is to be expected, not something he earns a medal for accomplishing.
It's li... (read in full...)
Tips for giving a guy space?
Q. I just want tips on how to give a guy space and if I'm right for doing this Ok so this weekend my guy has talked to me all day Saturday and I mean no contact at all.I try to make contact he doesnt reply at all so I leave him alone thinking he's bus...
A. 9 May 2011: It sounds like he doesn't care much, doesn't it? He leaves you worried, and to be honest it is rude not to reply to your messages.
You were a good girlfriend by leaving him to his space, but he wasn't a good boyfriend to you going about it this ... (read in full...)
How can I speed things up and make my period start?
Q. I am 13 years old and I have all the signs for my period but i havent gotten it yet and i want it to come faster... Is there any way that I could speed it up just that little bit without pain or pills? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!...
A. 9 May 2011: Most girls get their period at the age of 13-16. You might still have some years ahead of you, or not. But there is nothing you can or should do about it.
... (read in full...)
If I can't win her back, how can at least show her how sorry I am?
Q. To answer you imminent question, No I’m not a clingy stalker guy. I’m just a person who made stupid, STUPID mistakes, regrets it and wants the woman he loves more than the entire world back so I can treat her how I should have to begin with. Anna...
A. 9 May 2011: You told her you wanted to change and even seek help for your aggression, anger, whatever it is that has been the cause of the breakup. You were unclear about what exactly it is you have been doing to her that has hurt her. So, two things: have you ... (read in full...)
Am I just scared to be vulnerable again? Am I trying to avoid love?
Q. So I used to see a guy named "D" a year ago during the summer. We were friends (more like acquaintances) for three years prior. He had just gotten out of a relationship (of 3 years) when I started seeing him. He told me they had broken up 2 weeks ...
A. 9 May 2011: You're trying to avoid love. I don't understand how you feel he has hurt you? As of he intended to cause you pain? You were agreeing to not having a relationship, in fact YOU were the one who was avoiding him and avoiding to have a proper ... (read in full...)
I am crushed. I read what she wrote about my size and don't how I am going to work this, or our new LDR, out with her.
Q. I need help with a difficult situation. I met a girl about three months ago through a work friend and we hit it off. We have been dating since then and I feel as if the relationship is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. ...
A. 9 May 2011: Be honest with her and have a heart to heart conversation. You love her, and obviously she's crazy about you. If she was only using you or making fun of you she wouldn't have been with you for 3 months or wanting to continue being with you even if ... (read in full...)
Stunningly beautiful girl, 28, never had a relationship: red flag??
Q. Dear Aunts: I met this girl who seems real nice, sweet and down-to-earth from Europe (Poland). She seems to like me, flirts a hell of a lot, and I been thinking of asking her out. She is stunning, does some modeling, is here on a work visa. On...
A. 9 May 2011: That would explain why she never had a boyfriend, guys, like you, get scared and take off.
Really, this isn't a red flag. Who knows why she never had anything serious, maybe she didn't like the men she met, wasn't lucky in love, doesn't like pol... (read in full...)
Does she really love me? Even though she talks just as much to two other guys?
Q. How is my girlfriend in love with me, but doesn't like to have fun with me more than with other people? My girlfriend and I have had this problem, for a long time, with each other. We've been together pretty much 3/4 of a year, but we have thes...
A. 9 May 2011: I don't have a direct answer for you, but I wanted to tell you that I completely understand where you are coming from. This is an issue not only in your relationship, but in many relationships. Action speaks louder than words as they say, which is ... (read in full...)
How to test if Contraceptive is Actually Working??
Q. Hormone contraceptives are supposed to be 99% effective... is there a way to test the patch/pill to see if it is defective preventing pregnancy? - rather than just wait for my period every month...?...
A. 9 May 2011: Not to be mean, but you are listed as a guy. Guys don't get their periods. So what gender are you, and are you serious about this question?
There is no way to "test" the effect of the pill. It has already been tested, otherwise they wouldn't... (read in full...)
Do women buy sex toys before having sex?
Q. Ok silly question but will you buy a sex toy before having sex with your BF? My girl friend bought one and told me. I am puzzled: Am I not good enough. How embarrassing. ...
A. 9 May 2011: Are you a boy or a girl, because you say you are a boy but you are listed as a woman? Is this your girlfriend or just a friend of yours?
Having a sex toy has absolutely nothing to do with the sex you have with your partner. It doesn't mean the... (read in full...)
What are the signs a guy ISN'T looking just to toot it and boot it?
Q. So firstly, thanks in advance for trying to help! How do you know if a guy genuinely cares about you, or if he's just acting all sweet and innocent to get what he wants out of you? There's this guy whose known for being a flirt-- not exactly ...
A. 9 May 2011: The only way to find out is to go on dates and see where it leads you. So far, all these things could mean anything or nothing. ... (read in full...)
How can I fake being a virgin?
Q. hi there, my name is nancy and i was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how i can fake being a virgin. because i'm gettin married soon and it's a crime in my culture to have sex before marrige....
A. 9 May 2011: Don't get aroused. Think of something not sexy at all, so that you will not get wet down there. That way, having sex will hurt, and he will believe you are a virgin. Also don't touch him or kiss him passionately, and act surprised by everything he ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like an orgasm?
Q. So usually I struggle to reach orgasm. I do sometimes get a 'twitching' feeling in my vagina, am i right in thinking that this is a small orgasm? Recently I have been trying to explore my body more to se what makes me tick. Anyway earlier I was ma...
A. 9 May 2011: Get a proper functioning bullet or a rabbit or any smaller vibrator. They all work the same. The best is one with multiple speed choices, some low speed, medium, and faster speed. I never use top speed on my vibrators as that is just too much, so I ... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 9 May 2011: That is also a childish thing to complain about. He's a grown man, he can live spending one Saturday without you. My boyfriends never set a plan that I had to stay with them for the weekends, quite the contrary all the men I have dated have ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 7 May 2011: I can admit, I have been in a relationship once where the sex was mediocre. It was good, by all means, but I had had better. I tried to make up all sorts of excuses for him, or for the sex in the relationship, but yeah. Sometimes you got to play ... (read in full...)
I'm a newly wed and need advice about sex.
Q. My husband and i have been married for about two and a half months now, our wedding night was my first time being with anyone. for the first like two months our sex routine was the same. sex every night missionary, sometimes in the morning but it ...
A. 7 May 2011: You just need to tell him that it is slightly uncomfortable for you when he is behind. If you want to try other things you simply need to initiate it, you don't have to wait for him to do something first.
I think that when he comes back home, si... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 6 May 2011: I understand your frustration, especially if he doesn't take you seriously. Perhaps you could tell him that the lack of a healthy sex life is the doom of a relationship. Without a healthy sexual relationship, any relationship will cease to be. By ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like an orgasm?
Q. So usually I struggle to reach orgasm. I do sometimes get a 'twitching' feeling in my vagina, am i right in thinking that this is a small orgasm? Recently I have been trying to explore my body more to se what makes me tick. Anyway earlier I was ma...
A. 5 May 2011: Like I always say, you know when you have an orgasm. If you have to ask, then you haven't had one. Once you've had one you will be able to differentiate between a long and strong orgasm, or a lighter shorter one. What you describe doesn't sound like ... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 2 May 2011: Btw, compromise in this case would mean that you cut your dancing a little bit for the relationships sake.. or for his sake. Not completely stop! Because if you completely stop, how much of the compromise comes from HIM? Nada! He's not compromising ... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 2 May 2011: Have you talked to him about your fear? That if you give into his wishes... you will be giving into his wishes every single time, and your hobbies, your likes, and your choice of activities, will be off the table?
I've been in relation... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 29 April 2011: Him being too sore doesn't change the fact that there is little sex, so how exactly did that conversation with him go? Has it always been this way with him? Or did the sex decline once you moved in together? Guy's aren't always as interested in se... (read in full...)
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