| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 9 May 2011: That is also a childish thing to complain about. He's a grown man, he can live spending one Saturday without you. My boyfriends never set a plan that I had to stay with them for the weekends, quite the contrary all the men I have dated have ... (read in full...)
How dos an 18 year old introvert get laid?
Q. I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin but I'm not very bothered by this, except when my friends make jokes about me and when I get the horn on. So, I'm coming to realise that I know absolutely nothing about how to get into a girls pants. I understa...
A. 3 May 2011: You get a girlfriend and stop focusing on using women for sex. With a girlfriend typically comes sex naturally. If you just want to get laid and use women for sex you need to develop sleazeball techniques, and I'd rather not teach you how to do that ... (read in full...)
If you give a blowjob are you still a virgin? Is he?
Q. If you give a guy a blowjob are you still a virgin? And is the guy still a virgin too?...
A. 3 May 2011: You'd be a virgin who's having sex.
The textbook answer is that when a person has intercourse (penis in vagina) they are no longer a virgin.
Oral sex is still a form of sex. Anal sex is also sex. Touching each others privates is sex. Phone se... (read in full...)
How do I find an older man that will not use me for sex?
Q. I am 19 years old and graduated high school a year ago. I'm single and i've been looking for a relationship, but there's an issue. I like older men. I didn't think it would be such an issue. I mean, I am attractive. I run so i'm fit, I ...
A. 3 May 2011: I am not sure what you mean by "dated", but in my book, dating means you're not officially a couple, you are just checking each other out and getting to know each other.
If so, why did you have sex with them? Wait with sex until you are in an of... (read in full...)
I like the idea of romance, but its just not for me. What does that make me?
Q. So this is a strange question. Ever since i was young, i wanted to be a guy. not in a literal sense, but i like to wear guys clothes, i like things most girls dont, i dont have the best manners, i dont really care much about being feminine, i ...
A. 3 May 2011: There's no such thing as normal when it comes to how you are as a person. The behaviour might be abnormal in the sense that most people aren't like you, but it is quite normal in the sense that there are so many other "abnormal" people out there, ... (read in full...)
Why do guys talk to ordinary looking girls while gorgeous unattached girls exist?
Q. I know this is an insecurity problem, but I don't know how to overcome it? I know i'm not ugly, but when I meet a guy who shows he is interested in me, it's then i think 'why would he want to talk to me?' The next day, I'll be out and see these...
A. 3 May 2011: Because not all men are shallow. Exactly why.
Perhaps it's just me and Im blind in that respect, but I never understood the big deal about "who looks better than whom". Sure, there are the really oddball looking people of society, the ones wit... (read in full...)
Can you really just be friends with a guy?
Q. I was having a friendly conversation with a guy I just met. I could tell he was interested in me, but I have a boyfriend (of four years). I'm a pretty friendly person, so I didn't mean anything by it, except maybe enjoying the attention (being ...
A. 3 May 2011: It is harmful to hang out with a man you know is interested in you when you have a boyfriend, unless it is for work related things or you have to see him because of a mandatory thing. Hanging out as "friends" isn't happening! He likes you as more, ... (read in full...)
I have two questions about my impending breakup.
Q. two unrelated questions. I am probably breaking up with my bf of five yr, each other's firsts, lived together for a yr. I expect it to be devastating and I'm terrified to do it but I feel like I have to (don't really want to get into it here). H...
A. 3 May 2011: "is there ever a point you can start trusting that you want to get back together because you made a mistake and genuinely want them back in your life, rather than just wanting to avoid the pain and loneliness of being alone"
It isn't a time lim... (read in full...)
I'm angry towards my FWB, but the sex is great. Should I end it?
Q. Hi All. Please can I have some thoughts on the following!! thanks. I am in a FWB situation, and the sex is great. It makes me feel relaxed, happy and good. I am very highly sexed, and this guy is giving me exactly what I need. However, I am not ...
A. 3 May 2011: Continue to see him only if he accepts that there will be no more than sex. If he pressures for more it is time to let him go and find another lover.
That's the thing with FWB relationships. They need to end when/if one part falls for the other or... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my friend's pets?
Q. I am losing my friends over their dogs. I am not originally from the USA. It’s in not common to have pets at home in my country so I can’t deal with it now. It is like a torture to me when I see people walk with their dogs in the places that they ...
A. 2 May 2011: Have you thought about getting a pet of your own? People who own dogs don't smell their dog, they get used to the scent. Hair is also just hair, humans have hair on their heads as well.
The animals clean themselves after they have pooped. I believ... (read in full...)
My wife kissed a girlfriend. Should I be worried?
Q. i don't know if this is even an issue to any one but myself. as most people are aware, the thought of two girls together is very cool as far as the male species is concerned. my young wife and i have discussed such activities, and have openly ...
A. 2 May 2011: You shouldn't have to worry about what she does when you are not there. Which is why you and her need to talk some more about what you can expect or not. Not in a manner to say what she did was wrong (shaming is a bad way to go), but angle it like ... (read in full...)
My son's friend stares at my breasts. Should I say something?
Q. I'm a 46 year old woman with a 17 year old son. Whenever his friend comes over he always stares at my boobs. No matter what i'm wearing or if im showing cleavage or not he still stares at them. Should I say something to him when he does this or ...
A. 2 May 2011: "Hey, eyes, up here!"
That's what you say and hopefully shame him into being decent. ... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 2 May 2011: Btw, compromise in this case would mean that you cut your dancing a little bit for the relationships sake.. or for his sake. Not completely stop! Because if you completely stop, how much of the compromise comes from HIM? Nada! He's not compromising ... (read in full...)
When Does the Art of Compromise Become Compromising?
Q. I have been dating my BF for about 9 months and our relationship is getting very serious. We are both 33 years old and have had our share of bad relationships and no luck in love until we met each other and are now looking at taking things to the ...
A. 2 May 2011: Have you talked to him about your fear? That if you give into his wishes... you will be giving into his wishes every single time, and your hobbies, your likes, and your choice of activities, will be off the table?
I've been in relation... (read in full...)
Any of you had bad karma in r/s?
Q. Does karma in relationships really happen? Like if you lie/cheat on/ or treat your ex badly and get into a new one.. does karma really come back to bite you? Any experiences to share? ...
A. 2 May 2011: I know that after I left a shitty relationship I entered a wonderful relationship afterwards. So there's some balance to it. If you enter a relationship while you are in turmoil, the relationship will be up and down as well, and you will never quite ... (read in full...)
What does anal sex REALLY do to your body?
Q. Another anal sex question..... Okay, I want to try this (well we have three times, and I failed, I was just not relaxed and too tight I guess), and I've been reading all the how to posts and what to expect, etc., but the one thing I am a little fr...
A. 2 May 2011: It's like taking a big shit. Excuse the language. But that's exactly what happens. Your anus stretches out just like it does every time you go to the bathroom for a number two, and it snaps back tight again once you're done.
... (read in full...)
I was told I had a covert schizoid personality disorder
Q. Hello, This may sound very strange and I am not sure if it is a problem or not. I seem to be able to relate to everyone or anyone regardless of age sex ethnic group etc and I have been told by people that they feel a connection with me. I don't...
A. 2 May 2011: Don't trust silly personality tests. Only a professional can diagnose anyone, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist. A test you take, of any kind, is horribly flawed and would put anyone who takes it on a personality disorder just for poops and ... (read in full...)
The fact that my GF was not a virgin when she met me, is breaking me down.I cant handle this relationship anymore...
Q. Ive being going out with my girlfriend for nearly two years now and early on in the relationship i found she wasnt a virgin. This was painful for me to hear for two reasons: 1-I belive that you should lose your virginity to someone you love and want...
A. 2 May 2011: ps. In my first answer I was not aware that she had lied to you about the virginity, which is why I answered the way I did. ... (read in full...)
The fact that my GF was not a virgin when she met me, is breaking me down.I cant handle this relationship anymore...
Q. Ive being going out with my girlfriend for nearly two years now and early on in the relationship i found she wasnt a virgin. This was painful for me to hear for two reasons: 1-I belive that you should lose your virginity to someone you love and want...
A. 2 May 2011: I don't think this should be about forgiving her "mistake" of having had sex before she met you. She lied to you about being a virgin, didn't she? Then that is what broke your dream, the fact that she lied to you. If she had been honest about not ... (read in full...)
How can I fight my gag reflex and give better blowjobs?
Q. hi guys, im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. its going very well, and we have had sex. but now my boyfriend really wants me to start giving him blowjobs and swallowing his sperm. i have only give a few blowjobs. i've bee...
A. 2 May 2011: And there another woman goes proud and confident in her blowjob skills. Good job!
... (read in full...)
Help me get out of the 'Friendzone'
Q. I've known him for about eight years and I like him alot, but I think he only thinks of me as a friend.. is there anyway i can get out of the friendzone before it's too late? Thanks :)...
A. 2 May 2011: It's never too late. Flirt with him. Then tell him when the time is right, preferably when he is single. ... (read in full...)
How far can you go sexually with someone...without actually having sex?
Q. so, my bf and i are doing wonderful together. and things have started to get a little physical. but the problem is, im not a virgin, and he is. and he says he plans on staying that way. i am completely fine with that, im actually kind of proud of ...
A. 2 May 2011: Per definition I see getting naked together as a way of having sex, because you will be looking at each other with desire and sharing an intimate moment.
Oral sex is sex. Him fingering you is sex. You touching him on his reproductive organs i... (read in full...)
How far can you go sexually with someone...without actually having sex?
Q. so, my bf and i are doing wonderful together. and things have started to get a little physical. but the problem is, im not a virgin, and he is. and he says he plans on staying that way. i am completely fine with that, im actually kind of proud of ...
A. 2 May 2011: You need to stop tempting yourself, it is disrespectful to his wishes as well. Phone sex is the furthest you can go sexually without actually having sex. Or just speaking to each other in a sexual way. As soon as you start touching you have crossed ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?
Q. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...
A. 2 May 2011: I want to add one more thing. I see it as very likely that a guy who loves his woman would stop watching porn for her sake. Because when a man loves a woman....
When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?
Q. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...
A. 2 May 2011: Im with CindyCares all the way in this question. The "if you love me you would" game is not only childish, it is also manipulative and destructive, and if you play that game you are bound to loose your relationship.
The dealbreaker process ... (read in full...)
Should a guy really forgive a girl for being rude because she is on her period?
Q. Is a woman's cycle really a reason to forgive her sudden bitchiness? ...
A. 2 May 2011: No. There is never any reason to forgive bitchyness.
She must learn to control herself or get on medication. Some women DO suffer from PMS, to the degree where they need medication, but the solution could be as easy as taking hormones like bir... (read in full...)
B/f wants to know whats wrong with dating 5 years before we decide?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in our mid 30's and have no children and been dating nearly two years. We live an hour and 10 mins drive apart and meet up mid week and week ends. He says because he doesn't earn much he can't afford to commute even further ...
A. 2 May 2011: Or, you could wait 5 years only to have him say he decided he doesn't want it. ... (read in full...)
Should I become a total jerk for my own advantage ?
Q. My ex-girlfriend dumped me three times and it's been one year since she dumped for the third time for small reason. I have heard that girls always find nice guys easy target to be dumped and retaken , is it true? If it's true, than why not should I ...
A. 2 May 2011: The question is simple: do you want a relationship that is all about who's got the upper hand and where the partners hurry to see who dumps the other first?
Nice girls get played as well, this isn't a boy versus girl problem. There are nice peo... (read in full...)
B/f wants to know whats wrong with dating 5 years before we decide?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in our mid 30's and have no children and been dating nearly two years. We live an hour and 10 mins drive apart and meet up mid week and week ends. He says because he doesn't earn much he can't afford to commute even further ...
A. 1 May 2011: Does he ever want to get married? It can take 5 years to decide if you at all want to get married, regardless of the woman in the picture or not. It can take you a lifetime to decide if marriage is for you.
But if you already have decided that mar... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend I am in love with her, even though she is in a serious relationship?
Q. i need some advice. i fell in love with my best friend. it's slowly progressed over the years i've known her. as we've grown closer and closer, my feelings have deepened and deepened. we don't have your typical relationship. we never have. acqu...
A. 1 May 2011: If it wasn't for him intending to propose, I would say not tell her. Because the right time to tell her is when she is single, and in a position to make that decision on whether or not she wants to be with you.
BUT, the guy is planning to ask h... (read in full...)
I can't seem to relax my brain, do you have a suggestion please??
Q. I have a lots of anxiety, and my brain never can rest. . they recomandeded meditation to me many times. I was hoping ,it will help.. I really dont why , but meditation never worked for me. It is not effective to me, no matter what I try. I li...
A. 1 May 2011: I think it just takes a lot of time before you find your meditation position/feeling.
I know this is not politically correct, and by all means don't get yourself addicted. But do you drink alcohol? It's not that crazy to get a bit tipsy before m... (read in full...)
We broke up, should I keep the promise ring or give it back?
Q. my bf broke up with me 2 days ago in a txt after i had given him space to think if he can b in this relationship bcuz he was havn trust and insecurity issues cuz i have cheated in my past and decided to txt with my sons coach(txts were innocent).... ...
A. 1 May 2011: He gave it to you, so keep it. If he asks for it back sure you can give it back, otherwise just keep it. The promise is broken so now it is just a fancy ring that you can wear once you are over him.
I kept my engagement ring as I didn't know wha... (read in full...)
The fact that my GF was not a virgin when she met me, is breaking me down.I cant handle this relationship anymore...
Q. Ive being going out with my girlfriend for nearly two years now and early on in the relationship i found she wasnt a virgin. This was painful for me to hear for two reasons: 1-I belive that you should lose your virginity to someone you love and want...
A. 30 April 2011: Why are you contradicting yourself? You believe you should only have sex with one person and the one who you love and want to be with for the rest of your life. By that standard you can not leave her, as you are to love her and spend the rest of ... (read in full...)
Help with some ice-breakers?
Q. So there's a girl in one of my classes who's really pretty. Shes been telling my friends she thinks im cute more than once. I see her looking at me every once in a while, so im assuming she's interested. I recently went out with a couple of friends ...
A. 30 April 2011: Do you know her name, have you been introduced? If you have not been introduced, do you have someone you know that knows her and can introduce you? Usually that does the trick. If you do not have anyone to introduce you to her, introduce yourself. ... (read in full...)
After 6 years my son's father wants to be in his life!
Q. I got pregnant at 15 to a man that was married, at the time I didn't know, when I found I finished it, well I had my baby when I was 16, father didn't want any contact whatsoever, well 6 years down the line I got a message of him trough facebook ...
A. 30 April 2011: I think you are the best judge of this. I think you should go with your gut instinct and do what you think is best for your son. I would also worry about the sincerity and consistency of the father. Perhaps you could continue contact with him ... (read in full...)
It bothers me knowing that others had sex with my boyfriend but he was my 1st everything!
Q. I am just wondering if I am the only one that thinks this way and if I should just get over feeling this way or if it is something thats ok to worry about. I was a virgin when my boyfriend and I had sex. I didn't know it would bother me knowing he ...
A. 30 April 2011: You're just jealous. It could be you are jealous of nature and this is something you need to work on, or it could be that you place too much emphasis on the word "first", or on your boyfriend in general, skyrocketing this into something it really ... (read in full...)
Unplanned pregnancy, I don't want college b/f to deal with it. Should I go away, leave a note and say I'll explain later?
Q. Hi, I am 17(and yes I graduated and I'm turning 18 in two weeks)and I have had the same boyfriend since I was a freshman and we have know each other since I was a baby because his family and my family were friends. He is also 3 years older than me ...
A. 29 April 2011: You don't want him to deal with it? Like it or not, this isn't some secret of yours that you are entitled to keep hidden. This concerns him as well, you were TWO to have sex, it is equally as much his matter as it is yours. You telling him is not ... (read in full...)
Should I buy? Or rent?
Q. hi all need some advice ive saved 25,000 pounds and wants to know whats better renting or buying a one bedroom place any advice will be great . my family says get a mortgage and my mates says rent help ...
A. 29 April 2011: A house would be nice yes, but a one bedroom? Do you intend to be alone for a longer period of time?
A two bedroom apartment is the way to go if you want to buy and you are still young. Because as you grow older you might have a boyfrien... (read in full...)
Can sperm go through an unbroken hymen?
Q. hello everyone can virgin get pregnant if a sperm gets near her vagina? have there been any facts because many people say virgin can get pregnant even if her hyman is not broken but nobody has actually given any examples..... what i me...
A. 29 April 2011: And I forgot to add this: a hymen is not protective of pregnancies. It is not a contraceptive! ... (read in full...)
Can sperm go through an unbroken hymen?
Q. hello everyone can virgin get pregnant if a sperm gets near her vagina? have there been any facts because many people say virgin can get pregnant even if her hyman is not broken but nobody has actually given any examples..... what i me...
A. 29 April 2011: Not every hymen covers your entire opening either, and some women do not even have a hymen.
Yes, a virgin can get pregnant if you insert sperm into her.
In your case, you are not even sure if your penis was close to her vagina, and you ... (read in full...)
My breasts are significantly different in size, HELP!
Q. My right breast is much larger than my left and it IS noticable unless i wear a baggy or loose fitting top. I know it is normal for one to be larger than the other but in my case it's just awful. I'm 5'2" My right is busting out of my 34 D bras ...
A. 29 April 2011: Maybe pilates is a better option as well. Soreness and swelling wont better if you have a breast reduction. Smaller breasts get sore as well. But have you thought about going on birth control pills, or trying hormones? Birth control pills have often ... (read in full...)
My dream wedding will never happen because of troubled relationship with family
Q. I'm a level headed girl in my late twenties. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. He proposed to me five years ago, but I wasn't ready. Now I'm scared he'll never ask me again. I don't usually think of weddings. But I think with all t...
A. 29 April 2011: Im exactly the same place. Well, with regards to my family, I haven't been with my boyfriend for 10 years. But I would like to get married one day, and I know that when/if that day comes, I will not be able to have a dream wedding either. My mother ... (read in full...)
My breasts are significantly different in size, HELP!
Q. My right breast is much larger than my left and it IS noticable unless i wear a baggy or loose fitting top. I know it is normal for one to be larger than the other but in my case it's just awful. I'm 5'2" My right is busting out of my 34 D bras ...
A. 29 April 2011: You probably already know this, but I will say it just to make sure. When you buy a bra you must buy one that fits the larger breast. We all have uneven breasts, some more than others. I have uneven breasts as well, my right being larger than the ... (read in full...)
How can I fight my gag reflex and give better blowjobs?
Q. hi guys, im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. its going very well, and we have had sex. but now my boyfriend really wants me to start giving him blowjobs and swallowing his sperm. i have only give a few blowjobs. i've bee...
A. 26 April 2011: Sperm doesn't taste good. Some women enjoy it, but it is a very bitter taste. Bitter and sour. If he drinks lots of water and eats vegetables, lays off coffee, it might taste better.
For me, I only swallow the sperm if I feel like giving my guy a... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
