| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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When should I just accept it is never going to happen for me?
Q. At what point should a guy who's never had a girlfriend, never kissed, held hands, or ever had anything more than a friendly hug from a girl just accept that it's never going to happen for them? Let's be realistic here, after a certain age and no ...
A. 17 May 2011: I don't really know anything about this, but my boyfriend was in the army until recently and he too said he's confused about civilian life. That her doesn't know exactly what to make of it. And funny enough he too didn't think he'd ever meet ... (read in full...)
When should I just accept it is never going to happen for me?
Q. At what point should a guy who's never had a girlfriend, never kissed, held hands, or ever had anything more than a friendly hug from a girl just accept that it's never going to happen for them? Let's be realistic here, after a certain age and no ...
A. 16 May 2011: At what point do you accept that it's never going to happen? When you're lying on your death bed. Because not until then do you for sure know that it never happened. Until then, stop pitying yourself and dig yourself into a hole in the ground.
... (read in full...)
He wont introduce me to his family, am I getting upset over nothing?
Q. My boyfriend wont introduce me to his family. I asked him at the weekend why, but he didnt give me an answer. He just said I dont muscle into peoples business so I dont expect people to do the same with me. We have being together for 6 month no...
A. 16 May 2011: How much older is he? It's not like he lives with his mom if he's an adult person, and family has a different meaning to many as they grow older. Perhaps they live far away or he doesn't get along with them.
I think you should leave it be. If i... (read in full...)
Painful stubble after I shave my pubic hair!
Q. I'm fifteen and everytime I shave, a day later I have itchy painful stubble, tiny red dots/marks everywhere and a couple of large lumpy red pimples that are sore to touch. I always exfoliate, soften the hair with warm water, use a quality razor and ...
A. 16 May 2011: Your friends might have this problem, you don't know unless you've asked them.
Shaving in the opposite direction, that is the only way to make it real smooth, is probably what is causing this for you. Just stop trying to make it baby smooth d... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a girl who every other guy has made love to! How can I get over her past?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now, but we've had a thing for a year. Only problem is now that I'm with her, all I can think about is how she hurt me countless times before we officially started dating and how much it hurts to feel so ...
A. 16 May 2011: Maybe you can't get over it because she's not over it. She keeps reminding you of it, she cries often about it, she tells you all the time about how she wish she could take it back. With all of her attention on this, even if you didn't have a ... (read in full...)
Is it a big turn off for guys when they see girls bleeding while having sex?
Q. The other day my boyfriend and I had sexual intercourse for the first time and i guess he sort of didn't know how to react when he saw me bleed. He didn't stop right away because he didn't want me to get anything wrong, but I could sense that he ...
A. 16 May 2011: He sounds like a horrible guy, sorry. Why are you with him when he's so insensitive and doesn't believe you? Surely you can find better, someone who wants to take care of you and supports you instead of thinking you're lying. I understand that you ... (read in full...)
Men are leering at my legs and I want it to stop!
Q. Hello there! Here is my crisis. Men who are way older than me are looking at my legs and smiling at me. Not the friendly polite smile but a sinister pervert smile. Please forgive the language. This started happening when my mom said that I shou...
A. 15 May 2011: Do what you feel is best. But in your shoes I'd probably wear something that covers my legs a bit more the days where I don't want the attention.
Men look. It's what they do. Women look as well, perhaps women are just more subtle. ... (read in full...)
When you rim someone, can you taste anything?
Q. I was wondering, when you rim someone, does it taste of, err, anything? Or should it be fairly tasteless? Is it normal if it tasted of "anything" or would that mean someone has bad hygiene? Thanks x...
A. 15 May 2011: What does "rim" mean?... (read in full...)
Given our respective sizes, will we be able to successfully have anal sex in the future?
Q. My penis is just a little over 5 1/2 inches and just under 6 inches long when erect, and me and my girlfriend are both virgins and we really want to have anal when she and I get married, she's really self conscious about her butt because it's not ...
A. 15 May 2011: You don't need your penis to be in deep if you give her anal, it will be more unpleasant for her the deeper you go. It's the feeling you want, not the knowledge of getting in deep or not.
Relax, don't worry about it. You haven't had sex yet, and... (read in full...)
Is it a big turn off for guys when they see girls bleeding while having sex?
Q. The other day my boyfriend and I had sexual intercourse for the first time and i guess he sort of didn't know how to react when he saw me bleed. He didn't stop right away because he didn't want me to get anything wrong, but I could sense that he ...
A. 15 May 2011: What, you didn't tell him you were a virgin? Why didn't you? Of course if you didn't tell him, and then you start bleeding, he'll be surprised. What did you expect? Blood isn't supposed to come out of you when you have sex, and if it did that would ... (read in full...)
Why does my bf want me to call him "daddy" during sex???
Q. My boyfriend wants me to start calling him 'daddy' during sex. Can anyone explain this? He says that it is really hot and something that will get him off. Why does he find this so hot? It's incest foreplay! It's disgusting! Has anyone done it? Why...
A. 15 May 2011: Im thinking he might associate "daddy" with something other than the actual meaning of "father". Calling him father during sex would probably NOT be a turn on to him. You could ask to make sure of course.
I'm thinking this is more up the terms of... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says "he doesn't do family things"!
Q. my boyfriend of just over a year was invited to my nieces birthday party today. he said he would go 3 weeks ago when asked, then the day before it said he couldn't make it and made up a lame excuse about the time it started conflicting with ...
A. 15 May 2011: Tell him you're not going on a rant, you're asking a fair question. He can't tell you one day he will come, then change his mind the next. He's either in or out, end of. Things take planning, and he needs to respect your time and efforts as well as ... (read in full...)
Not sure how to tell my boyfriend I have probably passed genital warts on to him?
Q. I have recently been to the clinic because I have developed genital warts. I asked the doctor if I needed to inform my current sexual partner about them and she said not to bother as he would know if he had them. I'm really embarrassed abou...
A. 15 May 2011: ps. he can't sue you for giving him genital warts. You can only do that for the serious life threatening STI's, or I suppose an STI that actually does damage to your body. I know spreading of HIV is illegal and will get you convicted in most places. ... (read in full...)
Not sure how to tell my boyfriend I have probably passed genital warts on to him?
Q. I have recently been to the clinic because I have developed genital warts. I asked the doctor if I needed to inform my current sexual partner about them and she said not to bother as he would know if he had them. I'm really embarrassed abou...
A. 15 May 2011: He probably has it if you had unprotected sex. But some can carry that around and not develop warts ever. I had warts once, not sure at all where I picked it up as they can take long time from when you catch it and until they show (up to a year or ... (read in full...)
I lied to this hot girl and told her I've had sex but I haven't
Q. Hi dear cupids I m 18 and I don't really have any sexual experience. I tried to have sex with a girl like a year ago but I had no acctual idea what I was doing and my penis couldn't fit in her. We tried it 2 other night but I still counldn't pu...
A. 14 May 2011: Be honest with her! Then it will all sort itself out. ... (read in full...)
The girl I liked ignored me, so I moved on to someone else, and then again to someone else. And now I'm wondering if I should let my current girl go and pursue the first one I wanted instead.
Q. Ok here's the deal I have a gf and I really like her but there's someone else I like even more. In January I really liked this girl (the one who isn't my gf) but she ignored me so I moved on to another person. And after that other Person I moved to ...
A. 14 May 2011: It doesn't mean anything at all if you still kinda like another girl. It's not "after all this time", it's just 4 months. That's no time at all. If you had feelings for her for 4 years I would say that maybe it means something. ... (read in full...)
Should I go blonde because my boyfriend prefers it?
Q. Hello Everyone, Me and my boyfriend were talking the other night about music and we were both watching the video to this song. I said one of the girls in the video was pretty and he said 'Yeah but the blonde is fitter'. I asked him if he likes ...
A. 13 May 2011: No, of course not. Don't dye your hair blonde. Or bleach it, as that is what you'd be doing. You'd completely ruin your hair in the process, just to mention that. Bleaching does serious damage to your hair, and it's not as easy to just dye it ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a girl who every other guy has made love to! How can I get over her past?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now, but we've had a thing for a year. Only problem is now that I'm with her, all I can think about is how she hurt me countless times before we officially started dating and how much it hurts to feel so ...
A. 13 May 2011: It's a tough question. I think you feel betrayed and used, as well as jealous perhaps. Because through all of this, you were somewhat committed to her, am I right? You didn't sleep with anyone else or go on dates, you were only thinking of her as a ... (read in full...)
Should I go to tell him I'm sorry and get back to him again? Or should I dump him?
Q. well, I knew the guy who from Europe. he's in the same school with me. Last Friday he gave me a booty call at 3 am. I took my friend there, he was so mad at me but later he took me to his room and grabbed my boobs.He realized that he did a wrong ...
A. 13 May 2011: Get back to him? Get back to what? You don't have any sort of relationship with him other than him wanting to grab your boobs and then he yells at you for everything you do.
Why on earth would you want anything to do with him? He doesn't sound li... (read in full...)
What does the female g-spot feel like? And where is it?
Q. hello. Just wondering if you lovely people could tell me what the female g spot feels like. And how far in it is. Many thanks ...
A. 13 May 2011: Like olderthandirt said. About that. But the easiest thing is to ask your girlfriend, she should know. If not, goggle "g-spot" and look at images:
http:... (read in full...)
I'm reluctant to reccomend my friend for a job at my workplace
Q. About 2 years ago a woman I worked with left the company as she decided she wanted a more flexible job so she could have more time with her 2 children. I kept in touch with her via facebook and she often texts me. She has now decided that she...
A. 13 May 2011: Just be honest. You kept in touch with her for a reason, right? So I take it you enjoy her company and if you do enjoy her company she must have been a somewhat decent person to work with. Your job is not to judge if you want the company to hire her ... (read in full...)
Should I let her go? My wife says she loves me but is not in love with me.
Q. My wife told me she loves me, But not in love with me. how should i react to a statment like this. She's been comming to me with these crazy idea's. Like wanting to move to FL. from MI and discussing what would happen to the kids if we were to di...
A. 13 May 2011: Are you thinking about divorce?
The statement alone doesn't mean you need to divorce, but if that is what you and your wife wants, then it is what it is.
But the "in love" feeling is typically something that goes away after a few months of be... (read in full...)
A good friend screwed you over.....what would you do?
Q. Let just say a supposed good friend lied and screwed you over and you weren't happy with them about it. Would you... Give them the benefit of the doubt? Let them know you are annoyed at them? Not say anything about it and just move on? ...
A. 13 May 2011: I'd not do anything about it. Depends on how the screwing about went down though, if it was in my face then I'd show that this wasn't cool right there and then. But if it was something that I found out indirectly I'd not bother to speak to them ... (read in full...)
How many friends do you have?
Q. OK I am wondering how many friends--and I mean real friends--can a person honestly have. I am not counting Facebook friends, but real friends. To me a real friend is someone you feel a kinship with, someone you identify with and who identifies w...
A. 13 May 2011: Oh yeah, a friend to me is not someone I identify with. A true friend to me is someone I am loyal to, and know is loyal to me. Someone I know I can trust, someone I will back up even if what they do is wrong. Someone who could do things that go ... (read in full...)
How many friends do you have?
Q. OK I am wondering how many friends--and I mean real friends--can a person honestly have. I am not counting Facebook friends, but real friends. To me a real friend is someone you feel a kinship with, someone you identify with and who identifies w...
A. 13 May 2011: I have 4 real friends. Two are girls that I have known for about a decade now. One is my brother, and the last one a male friend who I have also known for close to a decade now.
Then there's been other friends who come and go, who have been hon... (read in full...)
Confused boyfriend....what to do now?
Q. I've got a confused boyfriend...the last 2 weeks hes been distant with me and today was the icing on the cake, ive tried to be patient but in the end i had to cut to the point and tell him hes been distancing himself and if he wants to end things he ...
A. 13 May 2011: Im sorry, but it is time to cut your losses. If the guy doesn't know that is the exact opposite of knowing. And he should know whether or not he wants to be with you. As he doesn't know... he's not committed to the relationship and is just dangling ... (read in full...)
He will not share the computer fairly. How do I get almost equal time?
Q. My boy friend and I share the Internet. He lives in our home as his Dad is away working where he can get work, and his mother left them a long time ago. We both paid for it, but he did put in a little more for the computer as he wanted a better ...
A. 13 May 2011: Have you ever told him "you're hogging the computer, get off, it's my turn now"?... (read in full...)
Kissless virgin
Q. There is a stigma surrounding virginity. But there is a much bigger one surrounding kissless virginity. I have told some people I am a virgin, if the moment seems right, and they just assume it's because I haven't found the right girl or something ...
A. 12 May 2011: It's unusual, that's all there is to it. People will also raise their eyebrows if they see a pink elephant.
However, it's not that unusual for a virgin your age to not have kissed anyone. It tells a bit about the personality of a person. If they ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant at 15 and scared to tell anyone
Q. Please don't judge me, but I am pregnant. It was a mistake, but my own fault. I live with my Grandparents, my parents died. They are really strict. I need to talk to someone and the only person is my Head of Year. She has been really comfortin...
A. 12 May 2011: It is not too late to have an abortion, so do not lose all hope yet. The sooner you talk to your head of year the better. Then you will get to know more about what options you have. You should also speak to your doctor as soon as possible. Your... (read in full...)
I'm an average weight for someone my age, but my legs look awful in leggings and shorts!
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old teenager and now that I am older I tend to 'dress up' more than I used to, I normally wear jeans to school, but Leggings are so much comfier than jeans. so I would like to wear them more often. I have a problem though, ...
A. 12 May 2011: Listen, you look like you look, and if certain clothes don't look nice, or in your opinion don't look nice, the easiest thing is to not try and mold your body to fit the clothes, but get clothes that fit your body. I think your mother is correct, ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to give your guy a bj but not finish??
Q. During foreplay, is it bad to give your guy a bj but not finish (make him cum) bc you are so turned on that you just want him inside you. So you stop, and you start having sex. Is that a bad thing? is there some kind of rule when it comes to oral ...
A. 12 May 2011: Has he been complaining? If not then it's all good.... (read in full...)
Have I been masterbated to the point where my output is now being affected?
Q. Have I been trying to masterbate too many times every day? Now I am wondering how much masturbation is too much masturbation? Usually I masturbate four times a day. But now I have reached the point where i can barely ejaculate anything anymore and ...
A. 12 May 2011: It's too much if you're addicted to it and can't keep your hands away from yourself. The reason you can't get anything out after a while is because there is no more sperm left in your balls. Sperm will fill up again, but it takes time. You're not ... (read in full...)
The girl I liked ignored me, so I moved on to someone else, and then again to someone else. And now I'm wondering if I should let my current girl go and pursue the first one I wanted instead.
Q. Ok here's the deal I have a gf and I really like her but there's someone else I like even more. In January I really liked this girl (the one who isn't my gf) but she ignored me so I moved on to another person. And after that other Person I moved to ...
A. 12 May 2011: This is blunt, but I don't think you should be in a relationship at all. You are very indecisive, and playing games with emotions and people. If you like someone else then you should never get into a relationship with another person. It is also low ... (read in full...)
My husband is buying a flat and puts it in his name. If he dies, who will get it, me or his son?
Q. I have question about the law in Europe ( Germany ). I'm come from Asia but married to a German. My husband wants to buy a flat here in Germany. He said he will put the flat only to his name. But he said he will make also another paper that when he ...
A. 12 May 2011: As far as I know, although uncertain about laws in Germany, the spouse inherits first. But, if there are children from outside of the marriage (his son) these children will inherit first in line as well. Meaning the spouse and the children will have ... (read in full...)
Relationship Problem, seriously confused
Q. I have a fiance who i have been with for 3 1/2 years, we have both cheated before, made our peace,and moved on from it. My best friend just returned to the area,and I have always had a crush on her,for about 9yrs,recently she seems to be sharing ...
A. 12 May 2011: You need to ask yourself why you wanted to get married to your fiancee in the first place. Your friend was in your life then, you knew her already, you knew you had some feelings lying around somewhere in your heart... So WHY did you propose to your ... (read in full...)
Do I just have some issues or could it be that I am a lesbian?
Q. Am I a lesbian? I've never been in a relationship with a guy for more than a month, and never had sex. I know my friends find that odd as do I and they've made comments regarding it, not insulting but kind of questioning and even letting me know ...
A. 12 May 2011: You don't sound like a lesbian, but you don't sound like you're very much into sex either. But then again you explained why you're not that into sex.
I think you just need more time with your guy to feel comfortable, relaxed, and able to enjoy yo... (read in full...)
Should we be more committed at this stage?
Q. Am I a mug? I have been dating a man for coming up to 17 months. We have been talking about moving in together for months now – about 5 to be precise. But last month we had a lot of very bad rows. I will admit I said a lot of stuff about his ...
A. 12 May 2011: There's no time limit for when you should move in. Or get closer, or take that next step. You do it when you are READY, not when so and so much time has passed. After a certain time you know if more commitment is in the cards or not though. If you ... (read in full...)
I just hate him, but I love him. His behavior is driving me away. What should I do?
Q. So... I've been with my boyfriend for about two years. We have a lot of unresolved issues but we really do love each other at the core of our relationship. ANYWHO! My dilemma is this. He aggravates me like no other! He is like my annoying so...
A. 12 May 2011: It's going to hurt him, so stop trying to be nice about it. "I love you, but I don't like you any more, and I don't want to be your girlfriend. We have grown apart, you're not what Im looking for at the time. If it is meant to be we will find each ... (read in full...)
Could I have caught a disease from the toilet?
Q. I don't normally use public toilets to poop, but today I had to go pretty badly. but instead of putting my cheeks to the toilet, I just kind of crouched, and I noticed that the water was yellow (many people at my school don't flush) which is ...
A. 12 May 2011: Im not a doctor, but I don't think urine carries anything you can get infected by other than regular bacteria. It is blood and saliva and body fluids such as sperm that carry STD's. I have never heard any mentioning of urine being a possible ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant at 15 and scared to tell anyone
Q. Please don't judge me, but I am pregnant. It was a mistake, but my own fault. I live with my Grandparents, my parents died. They are really strict. I need to talk to someone and the only person is my Head of Year. She has been really comfortin...
A. 12 May 2011: How was this your fault you think? You are a minor. You are not legally allowed to consent to sex. Hence, it is not your fault as much as it is the fault of your caretakers or the boy/man who had sex with you.
Were you attacked? Was the boy olde... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed for having a one-night stand!
Q. Hello, I was just wondering if anyone would be able to help with this rather unusual predicament I'm in. Two and a half years ago I had a one night stand. I didn't think clearly about it and I instantly regretted it. The guy I had sex with remaine...
A. 11 May 2011: Oh yeah, if you can do what Cerberus recommends then by all means, that is a very helpful strategy. But you must bring someone with you who isn't afraid of taking it all out (not kill the guy or seriously injure him, but scared the shit out of him), ... (read in full...)
I just hate him, but I love him. His behavior is driving me away. What should I do?
Q. So... I've been with my boyfriend for about two years. We have a lot of unresolved issues but we really do love each other at the core of our relationship. ANYWHO! My dilemma is this. He aggravates me like no other! He is like my annoying so...
A. 11 May 2011: Is this your first serious relationship? If so here's a relationship fact you can not overlook, and must not fool yourself into thinking isn't real: LOVE is never enough.
You love each other... but.
If that's the situation, let love be love... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed for having a one-night stand!
Q. Hello, I was just wondering if anyone would be able to help with this rather unusual predicament I'm in. Two and a half years ago I had a one night stand. I didn't think clearly about it and I instantly regretted it. The guy I had sex with remaine...
A. 11 May 2011: Take it to the police. Blackmailing is illegal, and if he took photos of you without your consent I believe that would be illegal as well.
This man needs a restriction order. I would also tell the boyfriend that you are being blackmailed by a man... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
