| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 7 May 2011: I can admit, I have been in a relationship once where the sex was mediocre. It was good, by all means, but I had had better. I tried to make up all sorts of excuses for him, or for the sex in the relationship, but yeah. Sometimes you got to play ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 6 May 2011: I understand your frustration, especially if he doesn't take you seriously. Perhaps you could tell him that the lack of a healthy sex life is the doom of a relationship. Without a healthy sexual relationship, any relationship will cease to be. By ... (read in full...)
How can I fight my gag reflex and give better blowjobs?
Q. hi guys, im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. its going very well, and we have had sex. but now my boyfriend really wants me to start giving him blowjobs and swallowing his sperm. i have only give a few blowjobs. i've bee...
A. 2 May 2011: And there another woman goes proud and confident in her blowjob skills. Good job!
... (read in full...)
My breasts are significantly different in size, HELP!
Q. My right breast is much larger than my left and it IS noticable unless i wear a baggy or loose fitting top. I know it is normal for one to be larger than the other but in my case it's just awful. I'm 5'2" My right is busting out of my 34 D bras ...
A. 29 April 2011: Maybe pilates is a better option as well. Soreness and swelling wont better if you have a breast reduction. Smaller breasts get sore as well. But have you thought about going on birth control pills, or trying hormones? Birth control pills have often ... (read in full...)
My dream wedding will never happen because of troubled relationship with family
Q. I'm a level headed girl in my late twenties. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. He proposed to me five years ago, but I wasn't ready. Now I'm scared he'll never ask me again. I don't usually think of weddings. But I think with all t...
A. 29 April 2011: Im exactly the same place. Well, with regards to my family, I haven't been with my boyfriend for 10 years. But I would like to get married one day, and I know that when/if that day comes, I will not be able to have a dream wedding either. My mother ... (read in full...)
What is the best condom?
Q. Hello aunts. Sex advice needed about condoms. For 1st round, I stay for an hour during foreplay with an extra time condom and 2 to 3 minutes in the intercourse. The 2nd round, I stay for as long as I want in foreplay and 15 mins for intercourse....
A. 29 April 2011: You should only wear a condom for the actual intercourse. If you use a condom for foreplay (I am guessing for oral sex?) you need to change the condom when you want to have intercourse.
I do not know of any difference in condoms for the length o... (read in full...)
My breasts are significantly different in size, HELP!
Q. My right breast is much larger than my left and it IS noticable unless i wear a baggy or loose fitting top. I know it is normal for one to be larger than the other but in my case it's just awful. I'm 5'2" My right is busting out of my 34 D bras ...
A. 29 April 2011: You probably already know this, but I will say it just to make sure. When you buy a bra you must buy one that fits the larger breast. We all have uneven breasts, some more than others. I have uneven breasts as well, my right being larger than the ... (read in full...)
Isn't it usually the girlfriend who doesn't want sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. We just moved into an apartment together. We both signed the one year lease. While I still love my boyfriend, I'm having a few issues regarding sex. I love sex and while I woul...
A. 29 April 2011: Him being too sore doesn't change the fact that there is little sex, so how exactly did that conversation with him go? Has it always been this way with him? Or did the sex decline once you moved in together? Guy's aren't always as interested in se... (read in full...)
Will I lose my virginity if I give him oral? Will he love me more if I do it?
Q. i'm a 17 years old girl and still a virgin. my boyfriend is asking me to have an oral sex with him, he's 18 and were both virgins. i keep telling him that i don't want to because i'm reserving my virginity till the day i'm married. (even though im ...
A. 29 April 2011: I just remembered something that could help you decide. What if you do not end up marrying this man, but another. On your wedding night and you are to have sex with him for the first time, first time having sex with your husband, would you look back ... (read in full...)
Will I lose my virginity if I give him oral? Will he love me more if I do it?
Q. i'm a 17 years old girl and still a virgin. my boyfriend is asking me to have an oral sex with him, he's 18 and were both virgins. i keep telling him that i don't want to because i'm reserving my virginity till the day i'm married. (even though im ...
A. 29 April 2011: He wont love you more if you give him sex, in whatever shape. He will just be using you sexually. If he already loves you he wouldn't force you into doing anything, and if he already loves you he wont love you more, the feelings for you will stay ... (read in full...)
I feel short changed but should I be happy with my lot?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we have lived together for one year. He is 42 and I am 48. Before we got together he had not had a girlfriend for about 15 years. He said he had resigned himself to being single for ever. I think ...
A. 29 April 2011: He doesn't use words to express his feelings, but he expresses them in other ways. Just because he doesn't tell you often that he loves you, or is lovey dovey with you, doesn't mean he cares less. Regardless of having been single for long or not, ... (read in full...)
Long distance and sex toys, will a vibrator keep me 'loose'?.
Q. hey Cupids. Basically I lost my virginity and I am now in a long distance relationship. I won't be seeing my guy for some time now. Would getting a vibrator help me from getting tight again and if so what would the best type of vibrator ...
A. 29 April 2011: Being too tight hurts when you have sex. ... (read in full...)
A little girl accidentally got hurt while I was babysitting and I cannot get over the guilt!
Q. During the day I look after two little girls aged 3 and 5 (I'll call them J and K respectively); I collect J from nursery at lunchtime and K from school a few hours later. When I brought K home this afternoon there was nobody else around, as her ...
A. 28 April 2011: Accidents happen. Even amongst the most responsible of us. You handled the situation well, and obviously did your job since the girl didn't get second degree burn or third degree burn. Children's skin get burned faster than on adults, and they can ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he will love me more once I give birth to his kids! What does he mean by this?
Q. Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we both 21 and he said he wanted to marry me and i would love that too. One day he said to me if you give birth to my kids you will be loved more, what did he mean, does it mean his love for me is on a ...
A. 28 April 2011: You should ask him really, only he knows. Just say "hun, the thing you said the other day, I have been thinking about it. What did you really mean?"
I'm thinking this is a case of him lacking better words to explain himself. ... (read in full...)
I wanted to become celibate, but my boyfriend threatened to leave me
Q. I wanted to become celibate but my boyfriend threatened to leave me..... clearly he cannot respect my decision... What do i do? But he claims he loves me so much....
A. 28 April 2011: He does respect your decision. He's not forcing you into sex after all! You must also respect his: he wants sex in a relationship. If you respect his decision you must let him go so he can find someone who wants the same in a relationship as he ... (read in full...)
Sex once a month isn't enough for me and I'm afraid I may cheat!
Q. HI, I have been in my relationship for 4 years and we have an 18 month old daughter, however my sex drive has become very high over the last 2 years and my partners is quite low compared to mine. I find myself feeling totally unsatisfied with the ...
A. 28 April 2011: Can you try to describe how the conversation with your partner went? What kind of reaction did he give you, was he careless, did he not bother, was he eager to change things and make them better? Did he understand?
If you are too tempted to cheat... (read in full...)
When is the right time to have children?
Q. When is the right time to have kids? I want to have a child but here are some of the thing stopping me 1) I dont have a partner that wants children (he has his own) 2) I have endometriosis (womb tissue on ovaries can affect fertility) 3) My ...
A. 28 April 2011: There is never a good time to have children. ... (read in full...)
Long distance and sex toys, will a vibrator keep me 'loose'?.
Q. hey Cupids. Basically I lost my virginity and I am now in a long distance relationship. I won't be seeing my guy for some time now. Would getting a vibrator help me from getting tight again and if so what would the best type of vibrator ...
A. 28 April 2011: A dildo is what you need. Or a vibrator that is meant to use internally as well. The rabbit is a good one to use, they typically aren't as large in size, and you can variate more with it. Get something that is not hard plastic, or hard material. ... (read in full...)
Dating a guy out of my league.
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and things between us are great. We get along, we make eachother laugh, the sex is great and we are happy together. So whats the problem, right? The problem is- He's extremely attractive. I on...
A. 28 April 2011: "The problem is- He's extremely attractive. I on the other hand, am not."
Good for you! You got a great guy to enjoy, even if you wouldn't like to enjoy someone who looks identical to yourself... Good thing you don't have to then! As for him, I a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a bit too close to his sister, what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend and his sister are very close same as me and my siblings, but sometimes when i am around i do not feel comfortable at all, they will playing together tickling each other and that makes me feel out of place. i just sit there and watch ...
A. 28 April 2011: Treat it as you would if it had been two friends of your tickling each other or messing about. Just laugh or preoccupy yourself with something else, unless you want to get into the action too. They don't go on for hours hopefully, and include you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a bit too close to his sister, what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend and his sister are very close same as me and my siblings, but sometimes when i am around i do not feel comfortable at all, they will playing together tickling each other and that makes me feel out of place. i just sit there and watch ...
A. 28 April 2011: Treat it as you would if it had been two friends of your tickling each other or messing about. Just laugh or preoccupy yourself with something else, unless you want to get into the action too. They don't go on for hours hopefully, and include you ... (read in full...)
I saved up all year to see my LDR girlfriend and now she wants to come here!
Q. i have a massive dilemma. so im in a ldr relationship with my gf. and weve been talking about me going to see her in the summer for about 5 months. she lives in america i live in england. im on a gap year. so it comes to 3 weeks before the trip and ...
A. 27 April 2011: Maybe you can sell your ticket and travel elsewhere altogether? Without her? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's medicine is making him really crabby!
Q. Hello there! I'm visiting my LDR for the first time in a few months. Recently, he's gotten on this acne medication called Accutane, and after asking him why, he told me that he was worried that I might not like what I see. I reassured him tha...
A. 27 April 2011: Btw, the medication takes about two months to start working, and after that you need to continue with it for another 4-6 months before it is gone completely, if even then. So if he quits after only 3-4 months the acne will come back and he will just ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's medicine is making him really crabby!
Q. Hello there! I'm visiting my LDR for the first time in a few months. Recently, he's gotten on this acne medication called Accutane, and after asking him why, he told me that he was worried that I might not like what I see. I reassured him tha...
A. 27 April 2011: Are you sure it is because of the medication? How long have you known him to be sure this isn't just a part of who he is? Coincidentally I am on the exact same medication myself at the moment, although I know it as Isotretionoin (it's just another ... (read in full...)
What else relieves stress apart from masturbating?
Q. Ok so i think i need better ways to release my stress, i always masterbate and thats the best way but i cant keep doing it all the time....... so what else can i do?...
A. 27 April 2011: Work out. Be active. Take a hot bath or long hot shower. Get a massage. Go swimming. The list is endless. ... (read in full...)
I saved up all year to see my LDR girlfriend and now she wants to come here!
Q. i have a massive dilemma. so im in a ldr relationship with my gf. and weve been talking about me going to see her in the summer for about 5 months. she lives in america i live in england. im on a gap year. so it comes to 3 weeks before the trip and ...
A. 27 April 2011: If you can't change your ticket is she really stupid since she doesn't get that you already have the ticket and cant change it? No offense to your girlfriend, but that one is a no brainer.
Go see her. Then if she wants to come see you after th... (read in full...)
Do girls get pleasure from anal sex?
Q. Hi, I have never had anal sex so I always wonder do gals derive pleasure out of it?...
A. 27 April 2011: Some do, some don't. Some are in between pain and pleasure, and some feel nothing at all.
I'm more in between uncomfortably and disgusting, yet somehow a little pleasurable. It can be intriguing I suppose, but definitely not something I feel a n... (read in full...)
Is this a typical female reaction?
Q. I need a little advice on a situation I'm facing. My best friend is this girl I met a few years back when I started a new job and she actually was the one that trained me. We instantly hit it off, but she was seeing someone at the time, so we just ...
A. 27 April 2011: Typical female reaction. She feels you have neglected the friendship since you got into a relationship. She didn't bring the incident two years ago out of nowhere! She brought it up because now she feels neglected, and back then she felt neglected ... (read in full...)
Am I throwing my heart to the wolves again?
Q. Okay, my question is complicated. And, I don't know where to start, as it's a long story... So, I will backtrack a bit and start from the beginning. *deep breath* In 2006, I fell for one of my best friends (who was a friend of mine for almost ...
A. 27 April 2011: You are scared. And this is new. It's not the first time you've entered a relationship, but it is the first time you get with someone new after having ended a relationship.
There are no guarantees in love, to set that straight. There is no guara... (read in full...)
Is everyone out there obsessed with money? Do people revolve their entire lives around it?
Q. I just wanted to come on this site to vent. I can honestly not believe how much MONEY changes people. Is EVERYONE out there obsessed with money? Do people revolve their entire lives around it? I've always worked for wages my entire life and ...
A. 27 April 2011: You haven't been to business school. What they teach you there is how to manipulate and fool people. They also throw in an ethics class, but then the majority of what they teach is how to do sales in a psychological way, playing on the weaknesses of ... (read in full...)
How can I get my ex and his friend to leave me alone? Do I need to change my number?
Q. This is kind of ridiculous and annoying to me and don't know what to do. I am dating someone right now. And my ex and his friend that has had a crush on me, won't leave me alone. My ex keeps calling me and sending messages about how much he loves me ...
A. 27 April 2011: Did you tell them straight out "Don't contact me again"?
If that doesn't work change your number. That is the quick and easy solution, and make it a hidden number so they can't track it down in the catalog. Then just leave it hidden for a year o... (read in full...)
Took a break from the pill - when should period arrive?
Q. Hi, I've been on the pill (Drospirenone + Ethynylestradiol. 21 active + 7 placebos) for the past 6 months. I had never taken it before, and it was given to me both as birth control and acne treatment. The last week of March I was supposed to start a ...
A. 27 April 2011: The hormones stay in your body for a while after you go off the pill. I know that if you use the depo shot, which is getting the hormones into your body through a needle, the hormones can stay in your body for up to a year later, making it extremely ... (read in full...)
Should I not pursue love anymore?
Q. Ok here goes: I'm not sure how to start this. I really have felt like all my efforts at having a relationship up to this point in my life have amounted to nothing. I have only had one girlfriend ever and she ended up sleeping with another gu...
A. 27 April 2011: The way I see it americans are fixated on getting married in a hurry. Relax, don't rush it! You have like 15-20 more years to find someone, that's about as long as you have already lived. You're at the very beginning stages of dating, and most don't ... (read in full...)
How can I fight my gag reflex and give better blowjobs?
Q. hi guys, im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. its going very well, and we have had sex. but now my boyfriend really wants me to start giving him blowjobs and swallowing his sperm. i have only give a few blowjobs. i've bee...
A. 26 April 2011: Sperm doesn't taste good. Some women enjoy it, but it is a very bitter taste. Bitter and sour. If he drinks lots of water and eats vegetables, lays off coffee, it might taste better.
For me, I only swallow the sperm if I feel like giving my guy a... (read in full...)
Is a good man worth cutting off for his financial lackings?
Q. If he has a bad credit and no job should this be an automatic dump my boyfriend prompter? I have been dating my current boyfriend for 10 mths. Everything seem great. When I met him, he had a business he was working on and was also a correctional ...
A. 26 April 2011: You can keep the man, but you must not make his finances into your finances. Which you currently are doing. You need to stop being his sugar mommy. He is a big boy, he must help himself. Of course you're not to be mean, but can you afford taking ... (read in full...)
He wont reverse his vasectomy, and now I am thinking of divorcing him for not keeping up his end of our agreement.....
Q. My husband and I had a happy marriage over the past year, but now it’s all gone downhill fast. We had decided before the wedding to start our family in our second year of marriage (which is this year). However he had a vasectomy after his first ...
A. 26 April 2011: It's time for a serious discussion. Not a little nagging about it here or there, or small comments randomly thrown into the mix, but a good old solid talk. A "we need to talk"-talk. Set off some hours so he has nowhere else he needs to be, nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I not pursue love anymore?
Q. Ok here goes: I'm not sure how to start this. I really have felt like all my efforts at having a relationship up to this point in my life have amounted to nothing. I have only had one girlfriend ever and she ended up sleeping with another gu...
A. 26 April 2011: Look at your age. 16-17. That is why you are not finding love yet. You are too young! Give it time. I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 19, and I didn't cry about being single up until then. It is normal to not have a ... (read in full...)
Took a break from the pill - when should period arrive?
Q. Hi, I've been on the pill (Drospirenone + Ethynylestradiol. 21 active + 7 placebos) for the past 6 months. I had never taken it before, and it was given to me both as birth control and acne treatment. The last week of March I was supposed to start a ...
A. 26 April 2011: Birth control pills easily change your cycle or mess it up. When I went off the pill after years or using it, the first 3 months or more I had bleeding every other week. It was annoying, but to be expected. Other times the period can go missing, or ... (read in full...)
After being sexually active for twelve years, I STILL can't climax during sex. I've tried so many things, please help!
Q. I have been sexually active for twelve years, and I still cannot orgasm during sex. I can make myself climax six or seven times a day if I wanted. Occasionally, I can climax with oral stimulation. But never have I climaxed during sex. I have read ...
A. 26 April 2011: I will add to what YouWish said, that many women do fake it. I don't for a second believe that all his past girlfriends climaxed with ease, as that would imply he actually knows how to get a woman to climax. He hasn't gotten you to climax, thus ... (read in full...)
After being sexually active for twelve years, I STILL can't climax during sex. I've tried so many things, please help!
Q. I have been sexually active for twelve years, and I still cannot orgasm during sex. I can make myself climax six or seven times a day if I wanted. Occasionally, I can climax with oral stimulation. But never have I climaxed during sex. I have read ...
A. 26 April 2011: I have been sexually active for close to a decade myself, and haven't ever climaxed through penetration. I need clitoral stimulation, and I need to do it myself. There has only been one man who ever could make me climax from oral. Then there have ... (read in full...)
If we're both fifteen...what happens if we want to have a baby?
Q. What iF You're 15 And You And Your Boyfriend Want To Have A Baby?!?...
A. 26 April 2011: You would regret it, that's what would happen. Not regret the child of course, but regret that you didn't wait to have it. Do you think you would be a better parent at 15 than at 25-30? Do you think you would be more financially stable at 15 than at ... (read in full...)
In my opinion, fathers need to draw a line between being a parent or a club buddy-what do you guys think?
Q. Why is it that some men are unable to accept getting older and to be parents instead of best pals to their children.Don't you believe there is nothing stranger than seeing fathers in their 30's to 50's out clubbing with their sons? I am not saying ...
A. 26 April 2011: When the children are children (up to the age around 18-23) parents are parents. And parents will always be parents, but when the children are no longer children, but adults, the relationship takes on a different shape. It can go from parent-child, ... (read in full...)
Could taking a shower after sex somehow get me pregnant?
Q. i didn't get any clear answers from this last time, so im asking again, and making my question clearer, my boyfriend ejaculated onto my breasts and stomach. we did not have sex!!!( i want to make it clear, we didn't have sex, or use the "pull ou...
A. 26 April 2011: You don't get pregnant from that. You would even have difficulties getting pregnant if you wiped your fingers in his sperm and placed the fingers inside yourself. No sperm swims so well that it can travel from outside of your body and inside of your ... (read in full...)
Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 26 April 2011: What did your father reply? And would you have been comfortable sharing a room with one of the girls, meaning you will get a bed?
I just think your father doesn't see it as a problem for you to sleep on the couch. Couches, if made for being sl... (read in full...)
Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 26 April 2011: What did your father reply? And would you have been comfortable sharing a room with one of the girls, meaning you will get a bed?
I just think your father doesn't see it as a problem for you to sleep on the couch. Couches, if made for being sl... (read in full...)
Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 25 April 2011: Did you tell him why you wouldn't come along, and tell him that you do not like to sleep on a couch, and that you will come along if you get a proper bed to sleep on? In my very personal opinion you are asking for special attention. But t... (read in full...)
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