| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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She's controlling me with sex!
Q. So I am dating this girl and we have been have sex for a awhile but one day she randomly decided that she wouldn't have sex anymore because she's in a bad mood indefinitely. I feel its a power play on her part and so I told her to enjoy her time and ...
A. 31 December 2009: Perhaps she's checking whether you were using her for sex or whether you really wanted to be with her. If you really wanted to be with her, maybe it wouldn't have mattered so much. Maybe she's just not the girl for you. ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 20 and I'm bored of porn. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 19 years old- nearly 20- and I'm already bored of porn. It does not arouse me at all any more. It often bores me or disturbs me. At best it amuses me, but it is never arousing to me. I find myself turning to my imagination, or remembering past ...
A. 31 December 2009: You've just grown up and worked out that porn is second best to the real things, that's all. I was the same. One day porn just didn't work. The reason was I'd met someone I'd much rather be with. Nothing's wrong with you.... (read in full...)
We had the opportunity to have sex and did so but now he hasn't called!
Q. So this guy I've known my entire life, and loved my entire life finally kissed me. We have both wanted to openly for a long long time now but never had the oppertunity. Well knowing the oppertunity probably wouldn't come up again we had sex. I'm ...
A. 31 December 2009: It's not true that every guy just wants one thing. I didn't, and there are others who don't. But it sounds to me like this guy did, because 2 weeks is a long time to wait before getting back into touch. I think you've been used. Sorry to say that, ... (read in full...)
Do I leave husband & kids for a 20 year old?
Q. I am 35 and have been married for 7 years now, and have three children. My marriage has been a rocky ride up to now. My problem is that I have fallen in love with a 20 year old. He is a student an doesn't work yet. We are such good friends,we do as ...
A. 31 December 2009: There are several problems here. Number 1, your children will be a bit confused by the age gap, and not happy in the future when they find out you left. Number 2, it is more likely this 20 year old is going through the 'older woman' stage. What ... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend lying to me?
Q. Okay, so I have a situation where I can hardly ever trust my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 2 years and I still findit hard to believe her. Sometimes she'll tell me she's busy at work, but then if I call her up 5 minutes later, I...
A. 31 December 2009: Move on, because she's not that into you anymore.... (read in full...)
After 10 years should I contact him and try to get closure?
Q. Bare with me this a long one. I met this man (DB) when I was 15, I am now 29. He was my teacher my sophomore year in high school. There was a ton of chemistry between us but we never acted on it besides lots of flirting, occasional hugs, and ...
A. 31 December 2009: Oh dear. Do not contact him, because whatever happens you're going to be in a mess. He will either nor be interested, or worse he will be and it will ruin your marriage. Speaking of which, ask yourself if you want to be married. Doesn't sound like ... (read in full...)
He is sweet to me but his friends call me bad names
Q. Helo I'm Chloe. I'm 13. I've got a boyfriend. Me and him have been fine. Getting along perfectly. We have been together for nearly 7 weeks. Not a single argument. But his friends are always calling me spotty and ugly. I do have a major spot pr...
A. 31 December 2009: You're boyfriend is happy with you, and that's what counts. It's more likely his friends are a bunch of jealous losers. It would be nice though, if your boyfriend said something to them about it. ... (read in full...)
Am I jealous?
Q. hey, im 14 and in a relationship with the most beautiful girl ever. and wen ever we talk about my best friend i would get jealous. so in the past she ask me if he was going out with someone for a friend and he was so i said yeah. well the point...
A. 31 December 2009: You are being a bit jealous, but you've seen you are so you can sort it. She's with you, so she must want you. Just focus on that.... (read in full...)
Hurtful relationship
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years on and off. He has 2 children from a previous relationship who accused me of being with him for money. We were due to get married 18 months ago but he ended the relationship 6 months before the wedding. We ...
A. 31 December 2009: End it now. This guy hasn't changed at all, and he's doing nothing but hurting you. You deserve to know where you stand and you deserve a guy who treats you far better than this. End it and move on.... (read in full...)
Husband shows me no emotion
Q. Hi, a very common question. I am wondering if it is justified to leave my husband. We don't have kids yet. My husband never shows me any kind of emotions. He has a problem with porn, which is something told him from the beginning that am not ...
A. 31 December 2009: This is more than him not just showing you love, it's actually about him talking to other women sexually. I have to say, it doesnt' seem like he cares about you one but. Divorce him and find a guy who will care about you. I promise we're not all ... (read in full...)
A lifestyle of just one night stands?
Q. Thanks for all help in advance. Recently, my head has started acting up in spurts, as in giving me periods of strong urges to do sexual things (legal things, mind you), and to have sex w/people. Coupled w/the fact that I am awkward and unco...
A. 31 December 2009: First of all, well done about the contraception. I'm not sure how it works in America, but if you can get condoms, it's always best to have one than to not.
Secondly, if you want to have nothing but one night stands, then that's up to you. Peop... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about wanting a boyfriend!
Q. Well i really need help well i am 14 nearly 15 and lately i have been getting this feel that i want a boyfriend and i know that there will be plenty of time for that when i am older but i dont know how to stop this feeling because i cant stop thin...
A. 31 December 2009: Ask yourself why you want a boyfriend. Is it because you feel lonely, or you feel as if you should? Then look at your own life, because it might be that you're feeling underconfident and you have low esteem. To want a boyfriend is natural, but if ... (read in full...)
What is it about calling the ex?
Q. Why Do Men In Relationships Call Their Ex's?...
A. 31 December 2009: He might still like the ex. I'm not in contact with my ex's, because I've moved on from them. If a man is still in contact, chances are he's not over her.... (read in full...)
Can using condoms & morning after pill be effective to prevent pregnancy and STDs?
Q. out of genuine curiosity. my first time having sex with my boyfriend and we been together just over 9 months. we are long distance relationship but live only like 20 miles. we had our ups and our downs but we love each other nonetheless. ...
A. 31 December 2009: Condoms make a huge difference in stopping both pregnancy and STD's, since they block the sperm and infections. The morning after pill can only help with pregnancy and cannot help with STD's. There is also the contraceptive pill, which is taken by ... (read in full...)
Met in a chatroom and now I can't find him!
Q. hello, I don't know what to do ??!! ok.. last summer I found this guy online who I really liked, we were talking in a chatroom and we just had the same ideas about like everything !!and I couldn't believe that I was creating a relationship online. ...
A. 31 December 2009: Sweetie, he's not interested in you. If he was, he would still be talking to you. Let him go. Find someone else.... (read in full...)
How can I be less predictable?
Q. Hi, i've been seeing someone for 3 months and recently, we've been more honest with eachother; like noting flaws that the other has. She told me I can be predictable, i've been told this before, and I want to work on it because i'm determined to ...
A. 31 December 2009: Ah, the nice guy trap. I feel for you. No doubt you're a nice guy, but as all nice guys know, we frequently finish last. Nice guys can come across as boring sometimes, not because we are, but because we actually care. Women like spontaneity and ... (read in full...)
Please Tell Me How To Handle My Man's Accusation Of An Affair
Q. The boyfriend did it again; saw a guy approach me and lost his mind and accused me of having sex with him. Said from what he saw it looks like we are having an affair and I need to come clean. I was lifting weights and a guy came up during m...
A. 31 December 2009: Hi there,
Your boyfriend is insecure. Perhaps he has been hurt in the past or cheated on, or perhaps he has other issues of trust. You have done the best thing by telling him it's over, because all he would have done is accuse you of cheating, and ... (read in full...)
It breaks my heart to see my parents apart!
Q. im 14 my parents are in a fight how do i help get them back together? My dad has a a does not think before he says and regrets it. My mom and dad have been together for 17 years now i i cant live without my mom and dad being together it just breaks ...
A. 31 December 2009: There isn't a thing you can do. All you can do is make sure you know they love you, and make sure they you know you care about them. But your parents lead their own lives, and they have to make their own decisions, no matter what happens. If they ... (read in full...)
My partner has banned me from having a dog.
Q. I am utterly desperate for a dog. I am a huge dog lover and have been raised with loads of animals. I have been with my partner for 4 years and he has refused to let me ever get a dog. How on earth can i make him see this is unreasonable and is ...
A. 31 December 2009: Either he's afraid of dogs, or really doesn't like them. So it comes down to a choice you have. You can stay with him and accept that he will not accept a dog and would rather leave you, or you can move out and get a dog. One of you will lose here. ... (read in full...)
I cant get out of a relationship thats ruined because of me I think
Q. Okay.. i have been in this relationship for four year. I can't get away I really dont know what to do I have tried everything he brings out the worst in me. i am not a mean person at all. everytime i am around him i hate myself and the way i act i ...
A. 31 December 2009: You need to end it. It's better in the long run than being with a guy who is clearly very controlling and insecure. End it for your own sake. I know you'll feel alone, and there are problems. But your boyfriend is just adding to your problems at a ... (read in full...)
Stomach pains after prostate massage... Why?
Q. I did some experimenting on my body tonight. I was masturbating when I noticed a cylinder shaped object about 12cm long. I decided to use it on my prostate (you know what that involves) using oil as lubrication. It was a pretty amazing experience, ...
A. 31 December 2009: Either you've hurt yourself or you've got food poisoning. In both cases, you need to see the doctor. And I'm also afraid you'll have to be honest as well. The only thing I can say is that my mum was a nurse, and she said there's very little she and ... (read in full...)
Don't know what to get for 2 year anniversary
Q. I am in the longest relationship I've ever been in and this is a busy time for us. There's christmas, we both have birthdays in January and then there's valentine's day. In the midst of all that is our anniversary (of the day we met). For our 1...
A. 31 December 2009: How about a weekend away somewhere? You don't need to spend a fortune, just spend loads of time on her. ... (read in full...)
The sex felt different and now I'm scared about being pregnant!
Q. please helppp! tonight my ex bf came over and we had sex. only like 2 hours ago. he is 18 and i jus turned 16 2 weeks ago. just by the way. and hes moving away to a different state this week. so anyway we had sex tonight (excuse me for this) but ...
A. 31 December 2009: I'm a man, so to be honest my advice is limited. But I can say if you're not on birth control and he did't use a condom, there's always going to be a high chance you're pregnant. So sorry to sound like your father here, but use please use protection ... (read in full...)
An affair & an abusive husband! Help!
Q. I desperately need some advice. My husband has been physically and verbally abusive to me for the past 7 years we have been together. I still feel like I have feelings for him, but recently I've met someone that I know I'm going to end up having ...
A. 31 December 2009: For your safety, you must not see this other man again. I know you like talking to him, but you have said it yourself. If your husband finds out, he will either kill you, or he will leave you with broken limbs. Here in Britain 2 women a week are ... (read in full...)
Wanting him back after he left me for another
Q. Are you comfortable? .. This is a long one. A few months ago i was seeing *Greg but we were always on and off after he admitted that he was still in love with his ex. So i decided to let him go. After several break ups with her he would always ...
A. 31 December 2009: I'm afraid your friends were right. Though your loyalty and love for this guy really is admirable, it's so terribly wasted on a guy who has hurt you not just once, but several times by going back to his ex. I'm afraid to say he will probably do it ... (read in full...)
Strictly attracted to older teacher!
Q. Hi everyone. I am 14 and a freshmen in high school. Ever since the first day of school, I have had feelings for one of my teachers. I can't say it's love, but it might be. I don't think crushes are supposed to last this long. It is definitely ...
A. 31 December 2009: Focus on your own life, not him. It's just a normal crush, so don't worry about it. Perhaps the older man offers you a certain amount of comfort, or safety? So maybe have a look at your life and see if you're happy. Also, Gina is right, look at the ... (read in full...)
My older bro want's to mess around...Help?
Q. Hi this is all a little weird for me, but I need some help. My older brother and I are really close, since we were little. But recently we have been talking and innocnetly I told him about a dream I had about him and thought he would just call me ...
A. 31 December 2009: I think a tape recorder would be a good idea. Messing around with a sibling is really wrong, so don't take it and keep saying no. If after that he continues, record what he says then take it to your parents. ... (read in full...)
Will my long labia be a turn off to my boyfriend?
Q. i am 15 and i have extremely long inner labia and like all of my friends, well lets just say you cant even see theirs, and i dont know if it is abnormal. My boyfriend wants to go 'down there' and play around but i am nervous that he will be turned ...
A. 30 December 2009: Your boyfriend will accept you for who you are, because he loves you. Don't worry. ... (read in full...)
I want our first date to be something nice, not clubbing!
Q. ive been talking to this guy i met on plenty of fish.. hes sweet.. we have some laugh together..hes on holiday at the moment and he calls me from there. does that sound like he really likes me? he wants us to meet up.. but he asked me ...
A. 30 December 2009: Say to him you're extremely flattered he asked you out, but you would like to get to know him more closely and would prefer to go out for a meal or something. If he does like you, he'll change his mind in an instant. Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Will I go to jail if I had sex wit my exgirlfriend who is 17 and now pregnant.??
Q. Well i met my ex at 16 yrs of age at a 18 yr and older club she lied to me and told me she was 18..She looked 18 and was at a 18 yr and older club.We started dating had unprotected sex now shes pregnant.And she bearly decided to tell me her age.I ...
A. 30 December 2009: If the legal age is 18, the chances are you will be prosecuted. Even if you told the judge she lied, they will say it was your responsibility. Get a good lawyer. ... (read in full...)
Shooting Blanks
Q. My boyfriend is scared he's shooting blanks. He has one brother who is setrile and another who has like super sperm three kids in three years with birth control and condoms super sperm. He's scared that he is shooting blanks which i highly doubt but ...
A. 30 December 2009: He can go to the doctor and get himself tested. ... (read in full...)
Our affair..does it stand a chance to last?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 18 months we call and text daily. I am seperated from my husband he moved out 4months ago due to my affair. Last week my estranged husband confronted my lover informing him he is naming him in ...
A. 30 December 2009: It's unlikely, but it could happen. He will either try to go back to his wife, or he will use you then dump you further down the line. Married men rarely leave their wives, and when they do it often ends with the lover in the future. That sounds ... (read in full...)
I like my history teacher and cannot concentrate on my classroom studies, what should I do?
Q. Hey. I really, really like my history I have liked him since last year. This year I got 38% on my exam this christmas and I have been thinking I got this low because of my feelings for him. I have always been bad at history I have found it really ...
A. 30 December 2009: Do not tell him you have a crush on him, because that will make his job very difficult. Tell him you find yourself distracted, but you don't know why, and ask him to help. ... (read in full...)
Is it alright for a 16 year old to live with a 20 year old??
Q. Is it ok for a 16 year old to live with a 20 year old? ...
A. 30 December 2009: It's all right as long as he treats you well, as long as it's a good lifestyle and not just an endless struggle, and as long as you both have clear ideas about what you want from life.... (read in full...)
I need help, should I keep talking to him, or should I back off?
Q. heya, i need your help. There is this boys.. and he moved to my school and into my form a couple of months ago. Me and my best friend welcomed him with open arms and we were really nice to him. He then began to make friends and thats when the trut...
A. 30 December 2009: Not at all. You're friends with a bad boy, and he offers excitement and fun. But he is what he is. A bad boy who has taken drugs, supposedly lost his virginity, and doesn't sound like a great guy to be honest. My advice would be to enjoy your crush ... (read in full...)
I like my history teacher and cannot concentrate on my classroom studies, what should I do?
Q. Hey. I really, really like my history I have liked him since last year. This year I got 38% on my exam this christmas and I have been thinking I got this low because of my feelings for him. I have always been bad at history I have found it really ...
A. 30 December 2009: It's most likely to be a mixture. If you don't think you're good at history, and you don't enjoy it, you won't do well. Then you fancy your teacher, so your concentration is taken away even more. All you can do is work at it very hard, and maybe ask ... (read in full...)
I feel sad, I cry a lot, have low self-esteem, can you help me in some way?
Q. I don’t really know what’s wrong with me, or how to write this. Basically, I’m very unhappy, and I have been for a year now, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve had various issues with self-esteem, sleeping, my mood, confidence, appetite and energy ...
A. 30 December 2009: Yes, you are depressed, and there could be something genetic on your family if your father had depression and a nervous breakdown as a teenager. I know you don't want to go to the doctor, but I think you need to because it could be a genetic thing ... (read in full...)
He is sweet but lacks the initiative, does he really care?
Q. Which one says the truth about my ex who I recently reconciled with? When I am with him, he doesn't want me to do anything but sit or lie beside him. He stares at me all the time and like to cuddle the whole day. When I am not beside him, he g...
A. 30 December 2009: No, he doesn't, not really. If you're not hearing from your boyfriend in a few days, let alone weeks, then he's not interested at all other than to use you occasionally. End it and move on, please don't leave him lingering or you'll be no better ... (read in full...)
Engaged and attracted to another man. How do I overcome these feelings?
Q. there's this lady who is engaged and she's having deep feelings for another suitor. what can she do to stop these feelings? this guy is someone that they see each other almost everyday. ...
A. 30 December 2009: She needs to ask herself why she's having these feelings. This could be pre marriage nerves, or maybe it's a warning that her relationship needs to be worked at. ... (read in full...)
Attracted to a colleague who has suddenly turned cold
Q. im sitting here needing advice-this is so sad. i met a guy at my job two months ago-i cant explain it but we clicked and get along so well-we have coffee breaks etc-he says he likes working with me too and we had a coffee out once and i sent a t...
A. 30 December 2009: He's in the middle of a divorce, so he'll be confused and his feelings will be all over the place at the moment. I think he's trying to make sure you don't get involved, because he knows it's a mess. Have patience and be there for him as a friend. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to split the cost of a big ticket item with me, but I don't think I'll be with him that long!
Q. so my boyfriend wants to get a ps3 (he lives with me)he wants us to split the cost to get it. the thing is i do not want to since i do not think i will be with him for that long. he thinks everything is going great but i am just not that happy wi...
A. 30 December 2009: Then end it now. Don't wait any longer. He doesn't seem all that into you, and you're not happy, so end it now rather than later.... (read in full...)
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