| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
How important is saying 'I love you'?
Q. Hi I'm looking for some advice. My story is a little long winded! My boyfriend and I had been together for a few months shy of a year when suddenly he ended things. His reason being he felt panicked as he is turning 30 (I'm 25) and that he is not r...
A. 4 January 2010: I know it is. We men are complicated. But trust me, if he's showing you he loves you, then he loves you. He probably just finds it difficult to say, that's all. Have patience because he will. ... (read in full...)
My friend thinks the world revolves around her? what to do?
Q. my good friend is a good friend, we are very different, shes louder and a smart ass, im quieter, but we get along. But..she is so self absorbed! with most ppl she talks with. She has had a career where she has performed now her career is ...
A. 4 January 2010: Your friend is terribly insecure, no doubt from something in her past that makes her feel the need to blow herself so much. I would sit down with her and find out why she's so insecure. ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance I could win her over despite her being completely in love with her boyfriend?
Q. Okay their is this girl. I met her in one of my classes my second day of school. She was gorgeous and fun to be around. We never really talked all that much, then we just started talking more and more and i started to like her just a little bit. ...
A. 4 January 2010: If she truly loves her boyfriend, then no, you can't win her over. I'm afraid you need to get over her instead.... (read in full...)
Did my fiancee cheat on me? And how can I tell if she has been around a bit before she met me?
Q. [Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged into one post] So I'm going to try to break down a lot of facts into short statements: Dated a girl for 4 months and moved in together. Lived together for 5 months and got en...
A. 4 January 2010: Normally I am a little suspicious of people who meet with ex's, because my girlfriend met with her ex on my birthday and cheated, and I know of plenty of other people who have experienced problems when an ex comes back. However on this occasion, I ... (read in full...)
Could he really be in love with me after only 2 weeks?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 weeks now and tonight during sex (he was about to finish) he said my name, took a long pause and said "i love you." i responded by laughing saying "no you dont." and that its only been a couple weeks. he ...
A. 4 January 2010: It's more likely it was something he said while you were having sex. Now take more time getting to know him, and watch how he acts and how he treats you. ... (read in full...)
I suspect my partner of cheating. What do I do next?
Q. Is it a good way to Confront my partner if I suspect her of Cheating ? I am not sure. Trust Level is sliding... Asking her on those lines would be like giving up Trust and Confidence, that took years to build. (Denial is expected) Not...
A. 4 January 2010: You need proof before anything else. What is it that is leading you to suspect she is cheating? And how can you prove it?... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for a ride?
Q. hey i recently met a guy who was on a reality tv show in the uk, and had his '15 minutes of fame'. I didnt watch the show and so just saw him as a normal guy. He took me for a meal and we had a lovely first date, then i saw him everyday for a b...
A. 4 January 2010: Living with an ex girlfriend means he either hasn't got over her, or she's not really his ex. Yes, he is taking you for a ride and using you. Move on.... (read in full...)
How can I fix our relationship after I found out about his double life?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now , we were best friends for two years before he finally asked me out , just before he asked me out i found that he had like around 50 chicks sending him nude pictures and he was playing all ...
A. 4 January 2010: I don't think you should try to fix it at all. He was speaking to a load of other women before he met with you, he played you, then he said he'd deleted it all, then it turned out he hadn't. He wont change, but you can be sure he will hurt you again ... (read in full...)
Why am I still missing my alcoholic, absusive ex boyfriend?
Q. right i have recently split up with my alcoholic boyfriend as he smashed my mums windows again and has gone to jail. this is the second time he has been to jail for this crime against me,the thing is he doesnt actually know we are finished because i ...
A. 4 January 2010: Well you're in love with him, not his behaviour. That's why you still love him. However, it is his behaviour that says it all. Though you are still in love with him, focus on the fact that he is just about the ultimate nightmare for any woman, and ... (read in full...)
Is minimal contact best way to fall out of love?
Q. I fell for my best friend (female). Didn't say, because I was certain she didn't feel the same, although we are ridiculously close. Anyway, many of our mutual friends were convinced she did feel the same, as although she denied it verbally, her ...
A. 4 January 2010: I think she's confused too. You're faced with a problem, because the truth is the only way to ever get over someone is minimal contact. So do you just have minimal contact and say nothing, or do you take a huge chance and tell her you like her and ... (read in full...)
How important is saying 'I love you'?
Q. Hi I'm looking for some advice. My story is a little long winded! My boyfriend and I had been together for a few months shy of a year when suddenly he ended things. His reason being he felt panicked as he is turning 30 (I'm 25) and that he is not r...
A. 4 January 2010: The words mean nothing unless the actions also show he loves you. If he was showing you he loves you, then it wouldn't so bad. But he's not even really showing it to be honest. I think you do need to end this, because if he isn't sure and is having ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gets uncomfortable when I go near her vagina, any tips?
Q. Ok so me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 months and we makeout alot, and she lets me grab her boobs and ass and she really loves that stuff (like when ever I even slightly move toward her boobs she starts to pull her shirt down so I ...
A. 4 January 2010: Just have patience with her. She's said she's not totally comfortable yet, so maybe she's not ready. And she seems to be enjoying everything else, so listen to her and when she's ready she'll let you know.... (read in full...)
What do I say to my friend who wants to date my ex?
Q. okay i went out with this dude(his name can be bob)for a month.. and just a little earlier ago i was texting my bestfriend(can be maci) well she said "guess who is tesxting me bob" and i was like "okay" then maci said "i really have to tell you ...
A. 4 January 2010: You know this guy is a bad bet, but your friend can't see it. To be fair, she has come to you and spoken about how you feel about him. You can't stop them going out, but she did come to you, respected you enough. If she does go out with him, be ... (read in full...)
He says he won't be with me forever, so wants to be my first... what do I do?
Q. Okay I'm 13 bout 2 bee 14 my bf is 14 and he is not a virgin but i am.he tells me how much he cares for me and sometimes he gets alil freaky over the phone and he always tells me that he knoes that we won't be together forever so he wants to be my ...
A. 4 January 2010: All he wants to do is get you into bed. There's no commitment here. Don't allow yourself to be used. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive and on steroids. I'm so confused about what to do!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. When we first started dating he was taking steroids and it became unbearable and I ended it after a few months. Three months later he sent me an email and apologized..so we ended up getting back ...
A. 4 January 2010: End it and leave him as quickly as you can. ... (read in full...)
Does he need other girls to satisfy him? I was hoping he wanted to be exclusive...
Q. I'm 18 years old and about a month or two ago I started seeing this 21 year old guy whom I met through friends. Before we started liking each other, I knew of his habits of being a real bad girl chaser, always hitting on and adding hot girls...
A. 4 January 2010: I'm sure you've heard of the saying 'a leopard never changes its spots'? Well here we are. He had a problem with chasing girls before, and now he's hinting he would like a threesome. To be fair, he did stop texting other girls and such. But don't ... (read in full...)
I so want to tell her how I feel but I can't. Help!
Q. hey theres this girl im mad about who just came out of a ralationship, I have built up a strong friendship but she found out i like her. when i talk to her i lied out of instinct and said i didnt like her in this way and she replied "oh thank god". ...
A. 3 January 2010: I was bullied like mad too, and it took me years (4) before I really found any confidence again. But sometimes you just have to take a chance. I did, and I found that she liked me. I'm still with her now. Think of something to say when you're both ... (read in full...)
Does my best guy friend truly love me and what should I do now?
Q. Well me and my best guy friend like each other and everyone knows it and we were both each others first kiss. But anyway a couple of days ago i was at his house becuase it was pouring with rain(and flash flooding) and my parents were out of town...
A. 3 January 2010: All you have to do now is tell him how you feel and tell him you want to take your relationship further. Then meet him. :) ... (read in full...)
Cant over him, are we really meant to be. I'm going insane
Q. hi there i just wanted some peoples advice and opinions on my situation. but basically i really like this guy and i have for a long while now, but i was talkng to him a couple of days ago and he told me he was seeing some girl to see how it goes, ju...
A. 3 January 2010: You will know if you're meant to be if he comes to you, not because your friends and family say so. The fact he hasn't come to you and has gone to another suggests that he doesnt' fancy you, but sees you as a great friend instead. I'm afraid you ... (read in full...)
He won't talk to me or is ignoring me out of the blue, I don't understand why! HELP
Q. Ok, well we're friends and i like him, but we're not really boyfriend and girlfriend. we texted 3 weeks straight every nightand normally talked during the day. he was very flirty with me and I with him. i had a pretty good idea he liked me. so ...
A. 3 January 2010: You could always ask him. Though I'm afraid it's more likely he's lost interest and found someone else.... (read in full...)
Can anyone see problems with being a 25 year old virgin?
Q. Im a 25yr old female virgin, can anyone see a problems with this? Im a shy girl and have anxiety and depression that ive had since childhood. I've no experience with guys but am happy waiting for mr right to come along. I believe that if...
A. 3 January 2010: No, no problem at all. Your'e right, if a guy does love you and care about you enough, he won't pressure you. Believe me, you'll feel far better than those people who give it away then regret it. Stick to your beliefs.... (read in full...)
Will married man leave his wife to be with me?
Q. My story is I've been seeing a mm for almost 3 years now. He's been married for a long time now with 2 kids and so he says, they're the only reason he's still at home. We love each other, had breaks away and get together usually 3 times a week a...
A. 3 January 2010: End it. He's not made any effort to leave in three years, and why would he. He has the best of both worlds. Loving family at home with a wife who no doubt runs around after him, and a mistress on the side. End it now, he won't leave her. If he loved ... (read in full...)
When will he say I love you!?
Q. My boyfriend and I went to High School together but werent really friends. We have mutual friends though so we have hung out sporadically over the years. Well last year (april 2009) we ran into each other and the next day I got an email on my ...
A. 3 January 2010: It will take him a little longer. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Measure a man by his actions, not his words. If she SHOWS you he loves you, then he loves you. Better to be shown he loves you, than to have him say it but never make any ... (read in full...)
Jealous of boyfriend's 23 year old daughter?
Q. I get upset when my boyfriend and I are with his 23 year old daughter. When we walk down the street he has his arm around her and I walk behind them, he choose a sit next to her instead of me on a shuttle bus. Am I wrong to be upset? ...
A. 3 January 2010: Well it would be nice if he held you as well. His daughter obviously means the world to him, so don't try to get in the way of them. Just say it would be nice if he could sit next to you sometimes walk with his arm around you. ... (read in full...)
I want him in my life but not like this...
Q. I text my male friend to get out of my life and get his stuff, as I am not able to call him and he has been very selfish and treating me like a door mat. I had no other lover, the last week and he just has been so selfish, I became fed up. My ...
A. 3 January 2010: End it. You may love him, but you're playing door mat and second best to this man. Never do that. ... (read in full...)
Should fiance be texting other women?
Q. Should he be texting other women? My fiancee and I have been together for 5 years the first year and a half were incredibly rocky. He ended up with two, myabe three other women while we were together. We moved past all of that, if you can belie...
A. 3 January 2010: There isn't anything wrong with a man texting women. But let's face it, he has one hell of a past. I think you need to do some more digging and find out about these women to be honest. And don't be in a rush to get married. ... (read in full...)
Red spot in vagina--don't know what it is?
Q. hey so this is kind of embarrasing but i have a spot on the inside of my vagina its just kinda red and hard its not painfull unless i touch it but its kinda getting to me because i dont know what it is it cant be an STD because i am still a virgin i ...
A. 3 January 2010: If it's painful, you should see a doctor.... (read in full...)
He dumped me because he likes me???
Q. Im a bit hurt, I just started seeing a guy about 6 weeks ago, he pursued me, and we met up once or twice a week for the past 6 weeks. Tonight he told me he likes me a lot and it frightens him and he would rather finish with me now than panic about ...
A. 3 January 2010: I think you should move on. He clearly has numerous problems with commitment and such. Be brave and move on. You'll find a guy who does love you and doesnt' have so many issues. ... (read in full...)
I would love more from her but don't want to risk our friendship.
Q. I have this friend and we are closer than you could imagine. She is the only person who can make me smile and feel good all the time. We cuddle and sleep in the same bed when she comes over. I even sit with her in the bathroom cause she doesn't ...
A. 3 January 2010: Sometimes you have to take a chance. It sounds like she likes you, so why not go for it and see where it leads.... (read in full...)
Will the relationship become just about the Sex?
Q. Hey everyone! I've been with my boyfriend for one month now. We are both virgins. I feel really comfortable with him and I think I'm ready to loose my virginity. We've played around alot. The only problem I have is that I'm scared if we have sex s...
A. 3 January 2010: It won't if he loves you. Take your time, get to know him more if you want. You said you think you were ready. You didn't say you WERE ready. Just take your time getting to know him a bit more.... (read in full...)
What if he really is changing? Should I wait and see?
Q. My ex and I (I'll call him Steve) were in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. We broke up a couple weeks ago because of many reasons. He wanted to control me and I had to do everything his way. I love him with all my heart but I just ...
A. 3 January 2010: Neither of these guys are right for you, that's the truth. Steve probably won't change, since he has said he will a million times and hasn't, and if you really liked this other guy Mark, you'd be with him and wouldn't think of Steve. For now, focus ... (read in full...)
I dumped him on his Birthday, he wants me back, but can I trust him?
Q. I liked my boyfriend alot but I felt like we grew apart so I dumped him on his B-day. I know that seems heartless but I liked another guy and if I didnt dump my bf on his B-day then I would be cheating. Well I did it as nice as I could but he said ...
A. 3 January 2010: You two really aren't suited to each other. First of all, to dump him on his birthday was heartless, though it is better than cheating, (I was cheated on by my girlfriend in my birthday). But if you were willing to of that, then really he's not the ... (read in full...)
Should I go to my ex's wedding?
Q. I have a dilemma. I have just received an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We split up 3 years ago. He treated me really badly when he dumped me yet wanted to be good friends with me. He came over to my house 2 weeks after we had broken ...
A. 3 January 2010: No, don't go. He treated you badly. Your mother is just trying to pave over the cracks. He treated you badly, so don't go. And if your mother has a go, tell her to go herself if it means that much. ... (read in full...)
He forced himself on me after I said no, then 4 days later he broke up with me! I just feel so down all the time and don't know what to do next
Q. Hello, i was recently in a relationship with a boy 1 year older, im 13 and hes 14. We were having regular meetings and having foreplay almost everytime, we were both virgins, until the other day he asked if i wanted to go all the way and i straight ...
A. 3 January 2010: You won't get a reputation. If he forced himself on you, then he raped you. You have been used and raped, so tell someone. Please don't sit there suffering in silence, because this won't go away. It will only get worse unless you confront it. ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my teacher and I don't want to give up on this idea, what should I do?
Q. i am in love with my maths teacher, he was my form tutor when i was year 7 and im 13 and in year 9 now. he knows how i feel cuz one of my mates told him (which i hav forgiven her for now). he is so gorgeous and he seems to treat me more caringly ...
A. 3 January 2010: It can't happen. First of all, it's illegal because you're under 16 and that would be child abuse. Secondly, it's illegal because you are a student. And thirdly he's married. He is not the one, because the One will be available. Your teacher isn't ... (read in full...)
Why can I not get that chemistry with someone any more?
Q. You know the feeling you get when you just meet someone and your stomach drops because of that amazing chemical reaction? I haven't had it in almost a year. Seriously, i'm going insane, no matter what situation, who i'm with or even if it was just...
A. 3 January 2010: It's because you're growing up. No longer is it just about the initial feeling, and no linger is it about just meeting someone. It's about developing far deeper relationships. You will meet someone who'll give you that feeling again. But it will ... (read in full...)
Should I let my boyfriend know what happened between me and my ex?
Q. hey there so for like i dont know the past month and a half maybe two months i have been dealing with my bf and the way he treats our relationhip like he doesnt need to try and make it work...its like he thinks he can act however he wants to and n...
A. 3 January 2010: The fact you did it shows how your relationship with your current boyfriend isn't working. So maybe that's a problem you need to address. Don't tell him about your ex, but seriously look at all the other problems.... (read in full...)
How can I let go of the past?
Q. I am a married woman who had a affair with another man four years ago. We both broke it off (more like he did as he saw somone else with out telling me.) I love my husband dearly and our life is much better now with all this behind me. The problem ...
A. 3 January 2010: The man used you. He saw that you were unhappy in a marriage so used you. He didn't care about, but your husband does. That's your closure. Don't waste time on a guy from the past who used you then moved on, when you have a husband who loves you. ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my husband?
Q. I have been married for over twenty years, my husband told me a few months ago that he is hauted by the thought of havingsex with multiple partners, including myself. I really tried to understand him, but I am not at the same point as he is. Finall...
A. 3 January 2010: You won't forgive him over night. It will take time. So the question is do you want to take all the effort to try with him or not? ... (read in full...)
I get nasty when drunk but ONLY with my boyfriend! Why??
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a perfect relationship, he's loving and caring, attentive and passionate, basically everything a girl could want, obviously it has its little problems however in general its good. The problem is when we drink i always end up ...
A. 3 January 2010: First of all, stop the drinking. He is your boyfriend, so he's the closet person to you. Sadly, we tend to take everything out on the nearest person to us. That's what you're doing. And perhaps there are unresolved issues in the relationship you ... (read in full...)
We're both virgins but he loses his erection whenever we try to change that!
Q. me and my boyfreind have been together for almost a year now. we really love each other but theres just one problem- we still haven't slept together. We both really want to but whenever we try it just doesn't happen. He looses his erection and can't ...
A. 3 January 2010: It's nerves, and the more you both worry about it, the worse it will get. stop worrying about sex, and provide each other with foreplay. Its not you, it's just that he's nervous about it all. He and you both need to be relaxed. ... (read in full...)
My mum is eating herself into an early grave... how can I get her to change?
Q. Please help. I'm really worried about my mum. She's been overweight for as long as I can remember but I'm really starting to worry about her health now. She's very heavy - she must be obese although I'm sure she doesn't realise this or is in denial. ...
A. 3 January 2010: Look beyond the eating problem to what is really wrong. Maybe she's suffering from depression or something? The eating might be for comfort more than anything else. Try talking to her about how she feels about life instead, maybe she will open up ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
