| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
My boyfriend wants to split the cost of a big ticket item with me, but I don't think I'll be with him that long!
Q. so my boyfriend wants to get a ps3 (he lives with me)he wants us to split the cost to get it. the thing is i do not want to since i do not think i will be with him for that long. he thinks everything is going great but i am just not that happy wi...
A. 30 December 2009: Then end it now. Don't wait any longer. He doesn't seem all that into you, and you're not happy, so end it now rather than later.... (read in full...)
Why does my brother try to steal my girlfriends?
Q. why the hell is my brother tring to steal my girlfriend when he knows i love her and she loves me to make matters worse he has a girlfriend. my girl is not what he likes, she is not his type, but hes giving hints and shes falling for them....
A. 30 December 2009: He's jealous of you, pure and simple. That's it. He's jealous. And yes your girlfriend can help flirting with him. She doesn't need to respond, so don't fall for that either.... (read in full...)
Can a relationship recover from infidelity if the cheating partner still denies it?
Q. I know that my husband cheated on me. However he denies it. I do love him and want to move past this but if he will not admit it can we move on? We have been together for 15 years. Now this just happened after he started this job about 2 years ag...
A. 30 December 2009: No, you can't handle it unless the truth comes out. The problem is you're relying on gut instinct, not proof. He won't admit anything unless you can prove it, because there's a slight chance he didn't. You need proof, or he won't admit it. Either ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 13 years talks marriage but still no date set
Q. i am 30 years old the mother of 1, 10 year old boy with my boy friend and we are now 13 years in relationship. He really loves me and i trust him and he always talk about married but still not yet decided. can i wait or can i leave him? ...
A. 30 December 2009: After 13 years, if he hasn't set a date and actually asked, then he probably isn't bothered about marriage. If it means that much to you, you must speak to him.... (read in full...)
Not ready to say the "L" word
Q. What do you do when he says I love you and your not ready to say it back? I have been seeing this guy, but we havent been together all that long ( I would say we have gone out about ten times). The other day, when we were talking he said he loved ...
A. 30 December 2009: Just say you've been hurt in the past and take those words very seriously and will say them when you feel it is right for you. I'm sure he will be a little confused, maybe even hurt, but if you just explain that those words mean a lot, hopefully ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked if his was biggest
Q. I wanted to be honest and open with my boyfriend who I adore. It was about my past in bed, past boyfriends. I was only serious with one other. The question of size came up. It wasn't good, actually bad with my first serious boyfriend. Is great ...
A. 30 December 2009: Hopefully not. Sometimes men can let this get to them. But so long as you keep reassuring him he is the best, hopefully he'll be all right with it. ... (read in full...)
I don't have any parenting skills and she has a 2 year old...should there be some instant bond or something?
Q. I have met a old flame from school, I havnt seen her in 6years. When we met the same chemistry was still there and we hit it off as though we hadn't stopped seeing each other all those years! She has recently came out of a relationship as have I. ...
A. 30 December 2009: It's something that happens with time. Research has shown that because women go through pregnancy, they can find it easier to bond because they have the baby within them. Men don't go through pregnancy, so the first time they come into contact with ... (read in full...)
Can I tell my family I'm pregnant without disclosing the relationship information?
Q. Okay - i am preganant and living with my folks. Most of my family still believe me to be a virgin, they have no idea that i had a boyfriend for a few months a little while ago. This is gonna be hard because they will not exspect it at all - if i was ...
A. 30 December 2009: Just do what you feel is right. All you have to say is you're pregnant, and that it's complicated and you'd rather not talk about it. It will come as a shock to them I'm sure, but you must focus on yourself and your baby right now. You and the baby ... (read in full...)
Its complicated...please some objective input?
Q. Hi there I've searched for and read so many of the emails from guys in the similar situation to me. I can never find one "relationship situation" that is exact to my particular situation, but at the end of the day, the expected answers I will g...
A. 30 December 2009: You know what gives away that she is a liar and love rat? Nothing she has done. But what her son said. He's four and he said she was with him downstairs. She said he was lying. No he wasn't. You can take that for truth. She still loves him, and uses ... (read in full...)
Why am I not able to get pleasure from oral with him anymore?
Q. I've been with my bf for about 3months and I've been having issues involving sex since the 3rd week. 1st 2 times we had sex he got me to orgasm with oral. Next time he tried I didn't feel much pleasure from it although he was doing the exact same ...
A. 30 December 2009: He might just need to change his technique. The same technique doesn't always work. Do a little experimenting with him. ... (read in full...)
How do you eat someone out?
Q. Right, well I feel a little weird posting here but I don't know where else to go. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while and she's been tickling with the idea of having me eat her out. Firstly, I had no idea what this meant unti...
A. 30 December 2009: Do as she wants you to. Let her guide you. If she knows what she wants, then she will be able to guide you. Place your trust in her.... (read in full...)
After our breakup he seems to have rewritten history
Q. I have a real problem which is distressing me so much. I was with my partner for 6 years and he was the love of my life and we broke up last February because he left after an argument then we were on and off together since then and he seems to be ...
A. 30 December 2009: You have to let him go. This will be affecting your daughters more than you think. You are right about him I'm afraid. He was using you for comfort in the hope his wife would come back to him. Sometimes, we have to help ourselves, and this is a time ... (read in full...)
Why do boys stare at my lips?
Q. why do boys tend to stare at my lips? its happened to me ocaasionaly and i find it weird. One minute there talking to me next they're talking and staring at my lips.I've caught 2 atleast doing that on regular basis. why?...
A. 30 December 2009: Either they're concentrating on what you're saying, or they want to kiss your lips! ... (read in full...)
My 2 children don't know their father! Should I contact him?
Q. hi i am married woman the mother of two kids,the man i am married is not the father of my kids , they are from relationship before my kids do not know there father we separate when one was one year and other was not yet born i do not see father ...
A. 30 December 2009: Of course you can contact him. They are his kids, and it would be nice for them to know him. But make sure you talk to him first before introducing them to him, in case he's really not bothered. ... (read in full...)
Finger fun
Q. want to make my girlfriend cum from touching/fingering her. is there any goog technigues positions to get her in. i can make her cum from oral but it would be nice to do it with fingers. I know it can happen because she told me she cums while ...
A. 30 December 2009: The best thing to do is to get her to show you what she would like. If she knows what will work for her, then she will be able to enlighten you to how she wants it.... (read in full...)
Does he ever think about "us"?
Q. I just want some ideas about whether he thinks of me and why he doesn't seem to want to "be" with me again. We were friends for about the past year and eventually we moved past that stage when he came clean about his feeling for me. I am married so ...
A. 30 December 2009: Men can shut off quickly if their feelings aren't strong enough. There could be two reasons he s acting this way. One., he could genuinely be shy and not know how to initiate things again and is perhaps hoping you will do something. Or two, he used ... (read in full...)
I can't get over this jerk!
Q. I dated a guy for 8 months who moved away in august for another job. we weren't serious and he was very selfish and treated me poorly. i knew deep down i should have dumped him on date two, but i held on because i wanted a boyfriend. stupid, i ...
A. 30 December 2009: You need to look at yourself and your own life. If you're lonely, you'll take second rate men until you can build up your own esteem and confidence again. The only real way to get over him is to throw yourself into your own life. Find hobbies, focus ... (read in full...)
Attracted to a straight man, I am bi sexual, what should I do?
Q. If you have an attraction towards a straight man but he is unaware that you are a bi sexual, what do you do?.... i have a real close friend that i do a lot with ( getting girls, playing sports etc.) but i'm attracted to him more than i think im ...
A. 30 December 2009: I'm afraid all you can do is try to move on. If he's straight, he won't be interested and he might be a bit shocked. You'll find someone. Work on getting over him and you'll get there.... (read in full...)
Is our relationship ever going to settle down? Is he ever going to change?
Q. I met my bf when we both werent looking for a relationship. we never wanted to be apart, he made me feel wonderful, he was inspired to change his outlook on life, we were both so alike(and still are in some ways). passionate, kind, thoughtful...
A. 30 December 2009: But you're in love with a man who doesn't sound all the responsible, isn't moving further forward with his life and he broke your phone in an argument. He's a toddler who needs to grow up. Grown up men don't act this way. This won't work, because he ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he take me out on a proper date?
Q. Its kind of difficult to know where to start. I think that i am head over heels in love with my friend(male)but he doesn't seem to share the feeling. We have known each other for nearly a year but been really good friends for the past 6 months. I ...
A. 30 December 2009: He might be very shy, or very confused. He does seem interested, but men can get confused by how women think. He might not think you're interested. It would be a shame if you never found out, so maybe talk to him about how you feel. I think it's ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my teacher, and I'm confused, Help!!
Q. I have had this enormous crush on this teacher of mine for almost 3 years. Actually it's not just a crush, it has turned into an obsession kinda. I've finally worked up the courage to tell him of my feelings a few weeks ago because I just REALLY ...
A. 30 December 2009: The difference in cultures and age isn't a problem. You're not weird at all. However, the problem is that he is your teacher, and should not be taking advantage of a student who has a crush. He should not be using you, which is what he is doing. He ... (read in full...)
Does a woman become clingy after losing her Virginity?
Q. They say that when a woman loses her virginity to a man she becomes clingy. Is this true in all cases? In addition what are the other signs that a woman is truly a virgin, one pattern I have noticed is her behavior to make elaborate fantas...
A. 30 December 2009: All women have ideas and fantasies about their boyfriends and marriage and children, it's not just virgins. And they don't really suddenly become clingy either. If a woman's clingy, he's not because she's a virgin, it's because she's insecure. Hope ... (read in full...)
Embarassed by drunken friend in front of my date! Will he want to meet up again?
Q. I had a date tonight w/ this guy but had canceled before.So despite the fact I had a killer migraine tonight - We got together (i didnt want to cancel again n come off as a flake).I had an obligation to be a des. driver for a friend later in the ...
A. 30 December 2009: He kissed you, he talked to you, he told you he wanted to see you again, he texted you back when you texted him, he was understanding about your friend and tried to reassure you. Yes he likes you, yes he wants to see you again. Try calling him! :) ... (read in full...)
He isn't giving me enough attention and now he wants space! What now?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 5 months. Really nice person. But the thing is that he doesn't seem to put in effort to make me happy. I told him that he isn't giving me enough attention. He could be gaming, watching video or chatting with hi...
A. 30 December 2009: Think about this carefully. He spends more time with his friends and gaming, he didn't get you a present, he rarely talks to you, he doesn't do much with you and he's had the nerve to ask for space. This all points to one thing - he's not that into ... (read in full...)
I am now on a bitter liver...
Q. Alright...--- Well I guess I should start explaining my spot in life. I'm a freshman in highschool and I'm an all around person kinda girl. I never believed in friends but always acquaintences. Just to keep wild emotions out. Im patient, reassur...
A. 30 December 2009: It was sexual abuse, which is as bad as rape really. and it was very cruel and I'm sorry he wasn't arrested and that your best friend shut you out. Sadly sexual abuse and rape are very hared to prove. Your best friend either can't believe it, or she ... (read in full...)
Should I end a happy loving relationship because... he had sex with 3 girls?
Q. Okay now I know this may sound ridiculously jerkette and dumb, but...I don't want to be in love. But I am. Now yes I am happy because of it but the other side of my mind snarls at the happiness. With my personality, I just do not feel under control, ...
A. 30 December 2009: Your heart won't leave with him, because there will be someone better than this guy. He cheated 3 times! Don't waste your time being fourth best in a man's life. You can do better. Your Mr Right is still out there waiting for you. Dump this guy!... (read in full...)
I think I might have destroyed our marriage!
Q. I hit my wife over her back with the plastic end of a hoover the other night. We were staying at my dads house in a single bed and had been drinking for a few hours before hand. We were in bed two hours when she ran out of space and hit me in my ...
A. 30 December 2009: No more drinking together, a lot more talking about how you both feel instead.... (read in full...)
I'm sick of going to bars and nightclubs!
Q. Ok, i'm only 25 years old, but lately, i've been thinking that i'm really sick of going out to nightclubs and bars !. I get annoyed with loads of drunk guys trying to chat me up and dance with me, and one thing that happened recently got me kind of ...
A. 30 December 2009: You tell her it would be nice to do something else instead. There are guys out there who like the theatre and concerts and such. And it could be a very good opportunity to meet guys who are not drunk and perhaps have more in common. Maybe even join ... (read in full...)
How Can I Break Them Up?
Q. The guy I have like 4ever is dating some freshmen (we are juniors)that he only met a week ago, its obvious hes rebounding from his last gf cause they only broke up a month ago. I stayed out of his last relationship and let it take its course but ...
A. 30 December 2009: You're not being judged. You're just setting yourself up for more heartache. If he wanted you, he would be with you.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel jealous when my teacher talks to other girls?
Q. I've had this teacher last year now I have him this year. I've caught him looking at me and we talk for ages and we have walked out of school together laughing and joking on numerous ocasions we are interested in the same things and we make each ...
A. 29 December 2009: You have a crush on him. Don't worry, it's perfectly natural. Just remember he's a teacher and you're a student. It can never be more. ... (read in full...)
Girl texts my boyfriend at odd hours late at night. Is she more than a colleague or a friend?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for approx. 8 months now. We belong to different cultures. He is an introvert and likes his space. He does not share a lot about his friends. I assume that is because he wants to give them their privacy. Quite ...
A. 29 December 2009: Sounds like it might be a bit of an emotional affair. She shouldn't be texting at that time of night. I suggest you explain to him you're worried about the relationship, and see how he responds.... (read in full...)
What can I do to get him back and mend all this?
Q. hi, my partner and i have just broken up after 2 years. we were living together and ive had to move out with some of the pets. my ex broke it off because of a misunderstanding between me and his boss. ive explained and apologised to him but he d...
A. 29 December 2009: I think he was waiting for a time to dump you, and has done it now after having used you as well. Let him go now. You don't' want a guy like this back. He used you, then dumped you and has said he doesn't love you or care about you. Don't waste your ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him and now he won't respond to my texts!
Q. I like my ex boyfriend and I’m unsure whether he likes me or not. We have a bit of a history so I don’t know whether to say anything to him or not. We’ve been out 3 times and I know that sounds really bad. The first time we went out things just did...
A. 29 December 2009: Let him go. This is not the guy for you. It's gone wrong three times, and that's a sign if there was ever one. When you did cheat, why did you cheat? If you truly loved him, you wouldn't have cheated. I'm afraid it's not over and he's making it ... (read in full...)
I really want to know why he would rather masturbate than sleep with me?
Q. Hi I am 38 and have been married for 4 years (hubby is same age). It is both of ours' second marriage. There is 2 children. One 7y from my previous marriage and one of 2y that we had together. Our sexlife has never been massively passionate. Mo...
A. 29 December 2009: He may be stressed, and unable to perform in bed and it's worrying him. I would suggest you talk to him again. Remind him you are a woman! But have patience, because he may have problem and it can be very embarrassing.... (read in full...)
I want to stop thinking about him sleeping with her!
Q. I need help and advice, something is playing on my mind and is detrimental to my relationship. My boyfriend has a good female friend, and they always used to flirt and I did wonder if anything was underlying. Me and my boyfriend had a month or so of ...
A. 29 December 2009: Well either he did sleep with her and is lying, or she's a very jealous lady who fancies him and she's lying to make you go away. The thing is, if he did sleep with her, he didn't cheat because you weren't together at the time. So he really hasn't ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so paranoid about her?
Q. ok my boyfriend of two months made out with another girl a week before he asked me out, she's pretty,skinny and i'm well not like her lets say. i have a very low ego but put on confidence. i am going to a party where she is going to be and she is ...
A. 29 December 2009: Your esteem is the problem, not him. He could have gone with her, but he chose you instead. You have to build up your confidence. Ask yourself why you're underconfident. Have you been hurt before? Or bullied? The problem isn't her or him, it's your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't trust me and I'm sick of it!
Q. I just saw the search history on my boyfriends computer. We've been together for almost two years, and I have never once been unfaithful or lied. I reassure him constantly that he is the one I want to be with. He tells me that he trusts me and...
A. 29 December 2009: I'm glad to say not all men are like this. There's nothing wrong with you at all. But clearly your so called boyfriend has trust issues that are borderline. So my suggestion to you would be to leave him and find a guy who does love you and trust ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy of the "perfect man"
Q. I'm a bit confused at the moment, hope someone can help. I have this thing for cute, blond men and I've always dreamed of ending up with a man like that. I met one a year ago, we dated a little and I fell head over heels for him. But he said he d...
A. 29 December 2009: Everyone has an image of the perfect partner. What you have to remember is nobody is perfect. You love your boyfriend, he loves you, his family love him. That's pretty close. If you want the blond cute men, you'll lose your boyfriend because he will ... (read in full...)
Hormonal with him?
Q. Okay well basically I like this guy that goes to a different school then me. I used to go to the same school as him but I moved about 15 minutes and had to go to another school district! Anyway we always liked eachother when i went to his school! ...
A. 29 December 2009: Yes, it does sound like you're both wanting to talk to each other but can't. It does sound like he likes you a lot. Why don't you try just asking him, or telling him how you feel and seeing how he responds. It would be a shame if you didn't and ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin at the age of 23...
Q. Dear Cupid, I will be 23 in february and i am still a virgin. My best friend and the family members who know say its such a good thing and hold me up on some sort of pedestal. I know they are saying this because its the right thing to say and life...
A. 29 December 2009: No, it's not a turn off or anything. A guy who really loves you will accept you for who you are. Your Mr Right will be out there. Have patience and you'll find him.... (read in full...)
Can I ask why he's suddenly become very consistent with the condoms or not?
Q. Let's skip the safe sex talk cause, yeah I know better but anyway... I've had a friends with benefits relationship with this guy for the past 5 months. He's overall a decent and respectful guy and we used to see each other at least once a wee...
A. 29 December 2009: It could be either. Maybe he's worried, or maybe he has slept with someone else. But I would say don't ask. You are only a friend's with benefits, not his girlfriend. So I'm afraid you kind of have to accept it. ... (read in full...)
How Can I Break Them Up?
Q. The guy I have like 4ever is dating some freshmen (we are juniors)that he only met a week ago, its obvious hes rebounding from his last gf cause they only broke up a month ago. I stayed out of his last relationship and let it take its course but ...
A. 29 December 2009: You can't for two reasons. One, he will hate you for it when he finds out you broke it up. And two, because he's into this girl and not you. He might be on the rebound, but imagine if you break them up and he does come to you. Sounds great, except ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
