| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Should you be honest about fantasies?
Q. What is the right thing to say to your boyfriend when they ask you what else other than them you think about during masturbation?...
A. 26 December 2009: You tell him you think about him. Even of it's a total lie. There's nothing wrong with fantasy. But your boyfriend would be hurt if you said you were thinking of someone else.... (read in full...)
Is this girl just not relationship material?
Q. Ok... So ive been dating this girl for 2 months now and im glad she's my girlfriend but lately we've been having some problems and i dont know what to do and i dont want to lose her unless its absolutely nessecary to do. Everytime i tell her that i ...
A. 26 December 2009: You're not doing anything wrong. She likes the status symbol of having a boyfriend, and perhaps isn't quite mature enough to really know what a relationship is. It's one thing to have a boyfriend and sometimes speak to him and spend time with him, ... (read in full...)
Is my ex stringing me along?
Q. My ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years told me he was moving on about a month ago. I met with him after a week or a half after that and told him all that I had realized about our relationship and how I thought we could fix things. He started crying when I ...
A. 26 December 2009: I think it's a case of this relationship being over. He wanted to end it, and he has done. I think you now need to focus on your own life and move on. It will take time, but your Mr Right is still out there. Go find him instead.... (read in full...)
Should I be rethinking our friendship?
Q. Ive been friends with a girl for five years and we have been really close with each other ....she has low self esteem and is over weight but really a pretty girl however she has only had onee boyfriend ever and i have been trying to help her find a ...
A. 26 December 2009: I think she is a friend, but a very hurt and possibly depressed one. It's lovely that you're going out of your way so much to try and help her, but people sometimes need to be able to help themselves. It might be worth talking to her about how she ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I like him if he has a girlfriend?
Q. Okay, so I like this guy, but he has a girlfriend. Me and him are really close though. We flirt all the time, and he treats me like were going out, and he's the nicest to me. He's showing signs he likes me, but do I tell him I like him? ...
A. 26 December 2009: No, you don't say anything. If her gave her up for you, how long until he gave you up for someone else? Be strong and move on.... (read in full...)
Should I take her word that he doesn't like me?
Q. im 13 and i really like this guy who is a year younger than me. his sister (my bffl) knows that i like him but she keeps telling me that he dosent like me. idk if shes telling me the truth. should i ask him if he likes me or should i just ta...
A. 26 December 2009: I would ask him, instead of her. She might just be a little protective of him or something.... (read in full...)
Should I walk away if he got another girl pregnant?
Q. hello im just wondering what i should do.my boyfriend of 5years got another girl pregnant an it hurts me soo much cause i was there an he didnt want me to have mine.but allowing this girl to have her baby.he say he love me an want to work it out wit ...
A. 25 December 2009: Personally, I would walk away now and find someone else. That may sound harsh, I don't know. but if he really loved you, he wouldn't have cheated and he wouldn't have not had a baby with you. You need to realize the child will be the biggest part of ... (read in full...)
Can sperm on clothes make you pregnant?
Q. Here`s the thing... I`m virgin and last night I had a wonderful time with my boyfriend, but I`m wondering; can girl be pregnant if guy ejaculate in his pants and she sits close on him? Can the sperme go trough clothes and so on? I know this is a p...
A. 25 December 2009: It is extremely unlikely. But if you are worried at all, take a test. ... (read in full...)
He's a big time creep, right?
Q. My friend met a guy during her doctor's appointment. She's only seen him twice, both while she was there to see her doctor. They exchanged numbers and have been texting. Now they haven't even been on a date and already this guy is asking her what ...
A. 25 December 2009: Hell yes he's a creep! They haven't been on a date and he's asking her for picture. Alarm bells should be ringing here. Console her by listening and repeating to her that she can do better than some guy in a surgery asking for dirty pictures rather ... (read in full...)
If he cheats on her with me, doesn't that mean he has feelings for me?
Q. I was dating a guy for around 2 years, and we have a 5 mth old baby together. We stopped dating about 6 mths ago when he got together with his current girlfriend. He says he has no emotional feelings for me, but has been cheating on his girlfriend ...
A. 25 December 2009: You're not really in the wrong at all. What a cruel selfish man you have in your life. I think you need to look at your own life just now and focus on yourself and the baby. I'm afraid to say he's using you, and no he wont' leave her to come back. ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for feeling hurt?
Q. My boyfriend recently allowed his brother and sister-in-law to move into his house with him. My boyfriend is 25 and his brother and sister-in-law are 21. He has a pet name for his sister-in-law, he calls her clair-bear even in front of me. It ...
A. 25 December 2009: You're not being selfish at all. I think you need to tell him again straight to his face you don't want him talking to them about personal stuff, and that perhaps they should be moving on. If it continues, and you're feeling second best, then the ... (read in full...)
Why do I always feel dead inside?
Q. I don't know why but I'm in my late 20's and just lack the motivation to do anything. I find everything boring. I've never had a GF and couldn't be bothered, I've never had sex because it feels like too much hard work to bother with. I feel tired ...
A. 25 December 2009: I do understand and yes you do need help. Though I never found things boring, I often found (and sometimes still do find) a lot of things entirely meaningless. It is a form or depression, but rather than take tablets, you have to look back over your ... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife will cheat again?
Q. My wife has been cheating on me for so many times and i still forgive her.I know its stupid of me but i don't want our family to be torn apart.shes a good liar and a really selfish bitch.One time,she said shes going to throw the trash and i was ...
A. 25 December 2009: Yes she'll do it again. End it and find someone who won't. You deserve better than this woman.... (read in full...)
We almost had sex and now b/f is very quiet
Q. me nd my boyfriend have been together for bout 6 months :) anyway, im underage and hes older and we are both virgins so we waitin for my 16th to first "do it" but a couple of days ago..we almost did.. and ever since then hes been really quiet......
A. 25 December 2009: He knows he can get into trouble, so he's doing the right thing by just backing away from you a bit. let him do the right thing and have patience.... (read in full...)
What is consider to be a pedophile? Do these situations fall under that?
Q. hi guys another question that keeps popping up in my head if your a teenager and your thinking of/having sex with someone else around your age is it considered as paedophilia and another question if your under 14 and your thinking of/ having ...
A. 25 December 2009: It depends on your age. If you're 14 and you're having sex with someone who is your age, that's not paedophilia, though it is illegal. If you're 13 and you're having sex with someone older than 20, that is illegal, it is sexual abuse and the person ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when she says this?
Q. what does it mean when a women you like says this to one of your friends? ", he is a lovely lad but im not sure if i like him in that way but i dont really know," Does that mean she only wants to be friends? ...
A. 24 December 2009: It means she's still unsure how she feels. Which means you can either continue to go with her and try hard to win her over, or you can back away now and tell her it's not meant to be. ... (read in full...)
How could he be mad because she saw a picture of his very own baby?
Q. I have a child with a man who has children with another woman as well. The other woman lives with him. My friend posted a picture of OUR baby on her profile on a social network. He instantly got mad and stopped talking to me once he noticed it. The ...
A. 24 December 2009: I'm thinking that he was unhappy because he lives with this other woman and has probably been trying to ignore everything and reassure her it's all okay. Maybe she was angry with him and he took it out on you. All that matters though is that he ... (read in full...)
Should I contact the ex after this time?
Q. My ex broke up with me about a year ago (she said that she "didn't love me"). I went no contact from that day but for the following few months she would contact me, want to talk but then simply act all cold towards me, saying "if i loved her i ...
A. 24 December 2009: 1) Her brother is your friend, and likes you as a friend, so won't get rid of you. I think he's just being friendly.
2) Don't send her a card or text or anything. She didn't send you a text, or a card, and she hasn't fought for you at all. Leav... (read in full...)
Do I even have a right to be angry that I was led on even though he never fully committed?
Q. Ok now where to start? I met this man at a bar (o such a wonderful place to meet them) sarcasm by the way. We were friends for about 3 or 4 monthes. At that time i stupidly suggested we have a friends with benefits relationship, and of course he ...
A. 24 December 2009: Well at first you didn't want anything more than a friends with benefits thing, which really gave him the green light to treat you this way. However, he did treat you badly when you said you wanted more, and he has led you on somewhat. So yes, you ... (read in full...)
I am unhappy in my marriage, should I get a divorce?
Q. I just told my wife I am not happy in our marriage of 2 and 1/2 years. We dated for 5 years prior to getting married. We have no children and both of us are skeptical about even having them. Which is weird cause when we first started dating we ...
A. 24 December 2009: Tell your wife once and for all how you feel. If she doesn't try to fix it, it's time to move on. If she does, put 100 percent into it and her.... (read in full...)
She drives me nuts - after two years I don't know if it's going to get better or worse!
Q. i need some advice.... my significant other drives me nuts. she micromanages me and doesnt get how it would irritate a man. if I am cleaning the stove and I press to hard to put the electric stove into its place, she'll jump forward in my...
A. 24 December 2009: You have to tell her straight how you feel. I don't think there's any other way you can get it through to her. It sounds like she is a very insecure woman who feels as if she has to be in control or her world will fall apart. You need to tell her ... (read in full...)
Marriage problem with my wife's attitude!
Q. hi i wonder if i can have some advice. my wife behaves so differently since we were married. tell you how. for the past 5 years of marriage, if i take pictures of her she goes extremely angry. for the past 5 years of marriage, if i start to...
A. 24 December 2009: Wow, your wife has serious problems if she's acting this way. You can't talk to her, she actually says she's tired of her own kids, and she even says you should die? Sounds to me like she is seriously depressed or something. Perhaps it is post natal ... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my teacher.
Q. hey, k I'm a girl going to school and i have this hot teacher. when i have him by me in class all i want to do is kiss him. I'm always smiling at him. i go to his class when he doesn't have students so we can talk. i want to kiss him and i t...
A. 24 December 2009: You can't. A teacher can't get involved with a student. They can get into trouble. And you're setting yourself up for a lot of heartache. Because he will either respond and use you illegally, or he won't respond and you'll be in a huge amount of ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with ANY guy?
Q. should i have sex with any guy. i am always horny and i am always chanting online with guys and it always end up with we talking about sex should i hook up with this guy....
A. 24 December 2009: Though it's tempting, it's also very unsafe to just hook with a guy you really don't know anything about. I would really suggest before you sleep with a guy you get to know him in person first, to make sure you really do like him and feel ... (read in full...)
Dear cupid
Q. Hello Guys and Girls, I sincerley hope you all have a problem free 2010!! and all your dreams come true... Happy Christmas. Love NatMarie. xxx...
A. 24 December 2009: same to you and everyone else. x... (read in full...)
He gives a damn while my boyfriend doesnt! Which one do I chose?
Q. I had previously been going out with my boyfriend last year but broke it off when i had feelings for someone else. Ever since then I regretted it so when the opportunity came to get back together i jumped at it. We've been going out for 4 months ...
A. 24 December 2009: Clearly you broke with your boyfriend before, so it wasn't working out. And it's not working out now either. So why be second best in one guy's life, when you can be the best in another's? If they are friends, then split with your boyfriend and ... (read in full...)
Very Confused-Marriage or back to being single?
Q. 2 posts combined into 1: I've been married to a wonderful man for 9 yrs but in September he decided that I didn't treat him well and asked for a divorce. There was no other woman. Since he is working out of state and we saw each other only 2 weeken...
A. 24 December 2009: Your new man is right to cool it. The fact is, if you loved him enough, you would have just left your husband and not even considered counselling, and he knew that so he backed away. You love your husband, and though the spark has gone, it can be ... (read in full...)
Should I resume contact with my first love who broke my heart?
Q. On June the 25th 2007 I got my first taste of heartache. My long distance girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I felt the worst pain of my entire life on that day, and I never felt that I would recover. It was the worst time of my entire life. ...
A. 24 December 2009: Your ex is the past. Leave her there. Why hurt your new love interest? Why ruin it? I left all my ex's in the past because it was over and that was it. Leave her in the past, move on into the future. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of my boyfriend at times but afraid to end things!
Q. My boyfriend complains about everything I do. He goes through my cell phone, follows me to the grocery store, check to see if I am at work, wants sex everyday, hates my best friend(female), goes through my mail, tells me how to dress, and I am ...
A. 24 December 2009: Oh, please end it. You're being treated terribly by this controlling man. If both your ex husband and your boyfriend are controlling, then you need to spend time on yourself and your kids so you can work out why you are falling for this type of ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ruin his marriage but he took my soul and I cant move on!
Q. I lived in Singapore for 2 years and ready to move to the States for college. Before I left, I prayed hard that I would taste what real relationship is because I have never really been in one. I only had flings. I was a virgin until I met this...
A. 24 December 2009: I'm afraid he's using you, and nothing more. You have to move on, because even if you told his wife, he'd just dump you anyway. Men say a lot of things to get sex, and they do a lot of things. You have to move on.... (read in full...)
S This Relationship Going Anywhere??
Q. I'm 27 yrs old and I've been dating a 38 yr old man for 10 months... he seems to have a problem with commitment but no problem with me spending time with him and his kids.. They adore me and I them... why would he include me in the time spent with ...
A. 24 December 2009: Perhaps he's been very hurt in the past. How did it work out with ex? Or even worse, perhaps you're nothing more than a trophy girlfriend to him. Could do with a bit more information if possible. ... (read in full...)
Is there a condition where people consider themselves blameless no matter what?
Q. My boyfriend confuses me. We fell madly in love and we've been through heaven and hell together but it made us strong. But he is very manipulative and spiteful. We argue and he always manages to turn it around on me somehow even though I know I ...
A. 24 December 2009: It's called narcissism, which basically means he's selfish and into himself. And it can't be stopped. So dump him and find someone who will actually love you.... (read in full...)
We talk a lot but does he like me more than that?
Q. I really like this lad that i've known for like a year, we was sort of seein each other last year but then i moved and we didnt see as much as each other and it faded out. We recently started talking to each other in the past two months but onlin...
A. 24 December 2009: There is only one way with a guy, and that's to tell him how you feel. He won't see hints, he won't catch on and he will find it very hard to open up unless he is sure you like him. So you need to be brave. ... (read in full...)
Is cheating acceptable? Why would they want to stay friends?
Q. About two months ago I split with my fiance of over 4 years. We were living together and engaged. We hit a bad patch and instead of trying to solve things, she went looking in private and then cheated on me. Two months later I threw her out when I ...
A. 24 December 2009: She's feeling guilty, that's why. Personally, I'd stay away permanently, or you'll only be dragged into a mess. She is now the past, so leave it in the past. And I do believe cheating is wrong, though in very few cases, I can understand it. But I ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to get him a gift?
Q. Yesterday I gave my crush a Christmas gift that he loved. Maybe I didn’t give it to him but he got it because I gave it to his cousin and my best friend g. He thanked me by texting right after he got it. He said that it was a good surprise. I told ...
A. 24 December 2009: Of course it's okay to be jealous, so long as you're not crazy about it and so long as you understand they are his friends (which I think you do). The only way to find out how he feels is to ask him. So be brave and see where it goes.... (read in full...)
What do guys like in oral sex?
Q. wat do guys really want in a blow job..therre are sites that tell you what to do but i really want to please him so i need to kno if im doin the right things frm a guys point of view.....
A. 24 December 2009: It all depends on the guy. He will tell you if he likes something, so listen to him. You'll be fine.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure and he finds other women attractive, how do I deal with this?
Q. I really love my boyfriend, but he did something that reallyhurt me and makes me angry, as insignificant as it may sound and I can't let go! So, he was angry with me on Tuesday. That day I called him and he told me that he had seen so many really ...
A. 24 December 2009: If he's telling you there are hot women in the street, then he's not worth a moment of your time. Your his girlfriend and you're supposed to be number 1 in his life. If you're not, he's not good enough. ... (read in full...)
Is is "better" to be a close friend to someone, or a love interest?
Q. Is is "better" to be a close friend to someone, or a love interest? Assuming the person sees these two things as mutually exclusive... And is there a way to transfer from one to the other?...
A. 24 December 2009: It depends how you want to be seen by someone. If you want to be the close friend, be the close friend. If you want to be the love interest, be the love interest. There is no better thing, it all depends how you feel about the other person.... (read in full...)
Should I report my manager for coming on to me?
Q. To get started, I'm 17 and my manager at work (who's a 30 year old loser, by the way) has been pushing himself on me. Saying crap like, "I love you!" or "Are you willing to date me?" Does he honestly think I'm that stupid? I find it amusing because ...
A. 24 December 2009: Then next time he tells you he fancies or something, say to him very clearly you are not interested and will report him. If he then continues, report him. But warn him clearly first.,... (read in full...)
Can I date an ex-prisoner? I teach in prisons.
Q. i work in a prison as a teacher , recently i met a guy who was an ex - prisoner.can i date him - because i love him very much....
A. 24 December 2009: I'm not sure if you can. People have done before and seem to have got into trouble. Best to ask a solicitor perhaps? Or search up on the internet?... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but he keeps hurting me, what should I do?
Q. Hi I've been dating this guy for a while. and we been through everything.okay frist off I have trust problems, I don't trust anyone. But he came along and he was the one. Like everything I liked he like. But one day I lie to him about not ...
A. 24 December 2009: It's simple, Dump him, spend all the time you need to getting over him, and move on. He will never stop hurting you, he will never stop using you and you'll never be happy with him. You need to be brave and move on.... (read in full...)
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